Send Help - Trapped by Giant Penguin

[Rain Man]

Picture in next post.

I left my office to go home, and lo and behold, there was Denver's annual Christmas parade occurring on the street just north of my office. I haven't seen a parade in ages, so I wandered up and watched it for a while. It was actually kind of cool to watch. One of the first things I saw was the giant penguin.

However, after a half hour or so, I got bored and decided to go home. I drove to work today, and I park my car in a parking garage that's two blocks south of my office. (The one with the world's best parking spots.)

As I walked to my garage, I got a bad feeling. There's only one exit from my garage, and there was a big penguin headed toward it.

North of my office, the parade went west. Somewhere along the line, it turned south, and then back east, and then turned south again. My parking garage exit is in the middle of the block, and the parade is going right by it.

Now, if you do the math, the penguin left the north street a half-hour earlier, and it was only now about to reach my parking garage. I looked back north and the floats were still going by at my original place, which means that my car is trapped for at least another half-hour, and probably longer since I don't know how long the parade is.

So now I'm having dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe near my office. My wife might not be happy about me going out on a Friday without her, but what's a guy to do? I can't get past that penguin.

[Rain Man]

Here's the savage penguin that's terrorizing downtown Denver.

I'll also report that marching band uniform technology has advanced considerably since my days as an alto saxophonist for the Rolla High School Marching Bulldogs in 1981. Today's uniforms have LED lights all over them and are quite cool-looking. With comforting consistency, though, the flag corps still consist of the girls who want to dance but lack the self-confidence to be in the pompon corps and shield their insecurities behind a large flag.

[KcMizzou]

Have you ever seen Cloverfield?

Whatever you do, don't use the subway tunnels, or go on an ill-fated mission to save your hot girlfriend.

[Rain Man]

They seated me in the Fleetwood Mac section, facing the wall. I'm looking at the set list from a Fleetwood Mac appearance at a Bette Midler concert (hey, you can't make this up) in 1990, and Lindsey Buckingham's guitar from a 1993 PBS appearance. And the thermostat.

[Mr Luzcious]

Hold on Rain Man, I'm coming!!!

[Rain Man]

Have you ever seen Cloverfield?

Whatever you do, don't use the subway tunnels, or go on an ill-fated mission to save your hot girlfriend.


Were there giant penguins in Cloverfield? I never saw it. Maybe I should google it to improve my odds of survival.


The crowd is singing happy birthday to some girl I can't see. I'm not singing. It's like being in the Cheers bar, where everybody knows your name. Except me.

[kc rush]

Sweet thermostat. Highlight of the night.

[Rain Man]

The music is pretty loud. Right now they're playing "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band.

My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold....

[cdcox]

I'd like to buy 10,000 marbles, please.

[Rain Man]

The right wall is more interesting. There's a big display of a lovely lace gown that Stevie Nicks wore at a concert in 1990, and most intriguing (to me, anyway) is a small frame that has a piece of paper from a note pad where Stevie Nicks wrote a song that was never recorded. The lyrics are pretty nice.

[RJ]

Sounds like runaway inflation.

[KcMizzou]

Were there giant penguins in Cloverfield? I never saw it. Maybe I should google it to improve my odds of survival.

Maybe. Nobody's sure what it was. (Still)

But it was huge, and menacing... kinda like your penguin.

I'd do some research on what types of parasites penguins carry, because they'll probably be about your size...

[Rain Man]

Sweet thermostat. Highlight of the night.

It's hard to believe that it's 75 degrees in here. Maybe they're heating it up to keep the penguin out.

[googlegoogle]

i wish the rope had twisted around you and you got lifted to never never land.

[RJ]

The music is pretty loud. Right now they're playing "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band.

My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold....


(Ain't Nothing But A) House Party was a better song. Maybe they'll play that. That was a great R&R song.

[KcMizzou]

i wish the rope had twisted around you and you got lifted to never never land.Rain Man?

STFU n00b.

He's a legend 'round these parts.

[Rain Man]

Hey look, everyone! I'm looking up Stevie Nicks' dress!

[J Diddy]

doobie doobie doo


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[RJ]

i wish the rope had twisted around you and you got lifted to never never land.



No you don't. Cause if he did he'd take his laptop and post threads about floating to never never land with a giant penguin and then he'd get there and post a poll on people's opinions of never never land. Trust me, there's no solution to this that you would enjoy.

[Rain Man]

(Ain't Nothing But A) House Party was a better song. Maybe they'll play that. That was a great R&R song.

They went from Geils to Elvis singing some song I didn't know, and now it's some really loud hair band that's just kind of screaming with no discernible melody or lyrics, but a strong beat.

[kc rush]

doobie doobie doo


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I forgot about those ads.

[RJ]

Hey look, everyone! I'm looking up Stevie Nicks' dress!


Can you scoot a little closer to the wall? I can't see any leg.

[Rain Man]

i wish the rope had twisted around you and you got lifted to never never land.

My momma always said that if you work hard enough, all your wishes will come true. But then she said don't do it, because you'll lose your welfare benefits.

[Rain Man]

Some young woman just went up on stage and did a shot for her birthday, but I couldn't get my camera out fast enough. This place is a rockin' party palace.

[Ebolapox]

Hey look, everyone! I'm looking up Stevie Nicks' dress!

did you see your reflection on a snow covered hill?

the landslide will bring the penguin down.

[Rain Man]

doobie doobie doo




My gosh. That might be the same penguin, except mine has been exposed to nuclear blast radiation or something.

[Rain Man]

Some 11 year-old girl just went up on stage for her birthday, but she didn't do a shot.

Wow, now another woman is up there for her birthday two minutes later. She's getting a shot. I think these women are lying just to get free booze. Stinking women. Can't live with them, can't see up their dresses other than Stevie Nicks.

[Rain Man]

did you see your reflection on a snow covered hill?

the landslide will bring the penguin down.


Slightly off topic, but that's one of the best songs ever. I really like that song.

[Rain Man]

Okay, it's been about an hour. I'll bet the penguin's gone. I'm going to go outside and run to my car. Wish me luck, or if you're googlegoogle, wish for me to get tangled in a rope and carried to my death in the upper atmosphere.

[Ultra Peanut]

I also got blocked in by a Christmas parade the other night. Fun fun.

[KcMizzou]

did you see your reflection on a snow covered hill?

the landslide will bring the penguin down.That's rep.

[Ebolapox]

I also got blocked in by a Christmas parade the other night. Fun fun.

any penguins involved? I hear they're all the rage.

let's hope you went to eat at a hard rock cafe, though. cause otherwise, that story is just lame.

[beavis]

It just hit me... David Sedaris. That's who Rain Man reminds me of. I don't know if it's the way you relate the stories of the everyday things that happen in your life in such a comical way, or just your tone, but you're both geniouses in your own right.

[Ultra Peanut]

any penguins involved? I hear they're all the rage.No penguins, but there were some horses and their lumpy brown friends.

I just listened to some Phil Hendrie on my mp3 player, waited it out, and went home, though.

[Ebolapox]

No penguins, but there were some horses and their lumpy brown friends.

I just listened to some Phil Hendrie on my mp3 player, waited it out, and went home, though.

feh. you've lost your burst since the election.

[Ultra Peanut]

I got da gold. They gave me da gold. I don't wanna know where da gold at. I already got it.

[Ebolapox]

I got da gold. They gave me da gold. I don't wanna know where da gold at. I already got it.

well then. put another shrimp on da barbie!

[ChiefJustice]

Nothing says "Christmas" like giant inflatable penguins.

[Baby Lee]

It just hit me... David Sedaris. That's who Rain Man reminds me of. I don't know if it's the way you relate the stories of the everyday things that happen in your life in such a comical way, or just your tone, but you're both geniouses in your own right.

Rainman's gay!?!?!?

[Stewie]

With comforting consistency, though, the flag corps still consist of the girls who want to dance but lack the self-confidence to be in the pompon corps and shield their insecurities behind a large flag.

If it's like my high school days the flag corps needed large flags to cover their double-wide asses. Most of them needed it to cover their faces, too.

[Garcia Bronco]

Picture in next post.

I left my office to go home, and lo and behold, there was Denver's annual Christmas parade occurring on the street just north of my office. I haven't seen a parade in ages, so I wandered up and watched it for a while. It was actually kind of cool to watch. One of the first things I saw was the giant penguin.

However, after a half hour or so, I got bored and decided to go home. I drove to work today, and I park my car in a parking garage that's two blocks south of my office. (The one with the world's best parking spots.)

As I walked to my garage, I got a bad feeling. There's only one exit from my garage, and there was a big penguin headed toward it.

North of my office, the parade went west. Somewhere along the line, it turned south, and then back east, and then turned south again. My parking garage exit is in the middle of the block, and the parade is going right by it.

Now, if you do the math, the penguin left the north street a half-hour earlier, and it was only now about to reach my parking garage. I looked back north and the floats were still going by at my original place, which means that my car is trapped for at least another half-hour, and probably longer since I don't know how long the parade is.

So now I'm having dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe near my office. My wife might not be happy about me going out on a Friday without her, but what's a guy to do? I can't get past that penguin.


Brian: "So you made flag girl, that's great"


Stewie: "Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call."

[Skip Towne]

When I was in high school all the ho's were in the drum and bugle corps.

[J Diddy]

When I was in high school all the ho's were in the drum and bugle corps.


presumably due to the fact electricity wasn't discovered yet

[Skip Towne]

presumably due to the fact electricity wasn't discovered yet

I'm gonna getcha for that.

[cdcox]

Heh, look what I stumbled across:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid823425597/bclid877032950/bctid4004954001

Edit:

Stupid link sets you up to watch like 10 different videos, you want the "parade of lights and sounds" on the right.