A joke for the resident musicians...

[Fire Me Boy!]

I laughed my ass off.


C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually, C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental. The judge rules that all contrary motions are bassless.

[unothadeal]

I laughed my ass off.

I feel like I just watched an episode of Fraiser.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I feel like I just watched an episode of Fraiser.

I'm still giggling at this joke.

[Thig Lyfe]

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"

[Fire Me Boy!]

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"
ROFL

The plumbers convention must be tomorrow.

Rep for the Steve Martin reference.

[DaFace]

That made me think WAY too much.

[aturnis]

This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7" wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7" wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"

You a plumber?

[aturnis]

I feel like I just watched an episode of Fraiser.

ROFL I fucking hate Fraiser. How did it last as long as it did?

[KcMizzou]

ROFL I ****ing hate Fraiser. How did it last as long as it did?Rain Man loves it, but he's admittedly a lot more cultured than me.

(That show was like watching paint dry.)

[FAX]

Peach, Apple, and Mango walked into a bar. The bartender said, we don't serve fruits here, you need to leaf. Peach said, "That's okay. This place is the pits, anyhow." Just then Banana strolled in and Mango said, "Hey, she's appealing!" but Apple was juiced and threw up in the core-ador. Mango said, "Did you seed that!" but Banana had split.

FAX

[FAX]

Skunk, Racoon, and Beaver walked into a bar. Beaver said, "May I have a beer, please?" and the bartender said, you sure are nice Beaver. Skunk was stinking at pool and Racoon was busy washing his nuts.

ROFL

FAX

[FAX]

Bottle, Jug, and Dish walked into a bar. Bottle drank too much and got a little glassy so Jug asked Dish to dance but Dish cracked a joke and shattered Jug's hopes. By that time Bottle was full and Dish passed out because she had thrombocytopenia (low platelets).

ROFL

FAX

[Lzen]

I am a musician and I still thought FAX's jokes were much funnier (is that a word?).

:)

[FAX]

Stalin, Jimmy, and Roberto walked into a bar. Stalin told a joke and everybody laughed until they all passed out from hyperventilation. Then Stalin shot the bartender.

ROFL

FAX

[FAX]

Pioli, Pioli_Zombie, and Stalin walked into a bar. Pioli ordered beers and then grabbed Pioli_Zombie by the scruff of the neck and slammed his head into the bar 15 times real, real hard. Stalin loved it.

ROFL

FAX

[KcMizzou]

Mr. FAX is on a roll.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Frasier was an awesome show.

[blueballs]

Do blonde flute player
understand this

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

So, this dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

Dinny

[KcMizzou]

So, this dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

DinnyLMAO

Simple... I like it.

[FAX]

Pancake, Waffle, and Scottish Shortbread walked into a bar. Waffle tried to butter Pancake up by saying, "Hey Pancake, you feelin' okay?" but Pancake said he was feeling a little flat and then he made a joke about Waffle's checkered past so Waffle got really angry and asked the bartender if they had a bathroom and the bartender said, "Yes sir-up stairs." Meanwhile, Scottish Shortbread was checking out the girls across the room but they were ugly and so he said, "This place needs some mo-lasses."

ROFL

FAX

[Lzen]

FAX, you are awesome. Why did you ever leave?

[Archie F. Swin]

I laughed my ass off.

shit......its totally lost on drummers:sulk:

[FAX]

FAX, Mr. Lzen, and Pioli_Zombie walked into a bar. The bartender gave FAX and Mr. Lzen free drinks and then slammed Pioli_Zombie's head into the bar 15 times real, real hard. Good times.

ROFL

FAX

[KcMizzou]

FAX, Mr. Lzen, and Pioli_Zombie walked into a bar. The bartender gave FAX and Mr. Lzen free drinks and then slammed Pioli_Zombie's head into the bar 15 times real, real hard. Good times.

ROFL

FAXLMAO

Damn... Mr. FAX with the biting humor.

[Lzen]

FAX, Mr. Lzen, and Pioli_Zombie walked into a bar. The bartender gave FAX and Mr. Lzen free drinks and then slammed Pioli_Zombie's head into the bar 15 times real, real hard. Good times.

ROFL

FAX

ROFL

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Frasier was an awesome show.

"The Timber Mill" steakhouse; classic.

[stevieray]

damn, I'm crying...ROFL

[unothadeal]

damn, I'm crying...ROFL

Hey, it's okay. I didn't get it either but life goes on, you know?

[Fire Me Boy!]

ROFL ROFL

FAX, you're killing me.

[EyePod]

I feel like I just watched an episode of Fraiser.

Now this is funny!

[Adept Havelock]

Great way to start the day, guys. LMAO :thumb:

And "Fraiser" was a damn funny show.

[Demonpenz]

A Tuna, Cow, and Dolphin meet up for game of horse. The tuna says he just got out of school, the cow had to hoof it to the game. They all get hungry so they go to the go to the cows house. I am hungry the Dolphin says... "I "heard that!" reply's the cow. The cow then hands the dolphin a can of food. "Is this "me" free? the dolphin says.... the cow says yes but someone hear better "steer" clear of eating this food. the tuna then starts crying mom....mom? OH MY GOD MOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY.

[Fire Me Boy!]

A Tuna, Cow, and Dolphin meet up for game of horse. The tuna says he just got out of school, the cow had to hoof it to the game. They all get hungry so they go to the go to the cows house. I am hungry the Dolphin says... "I "heard that!" reply's the cow. The cow then hands the dolphin a can of food. "Is this "me" free? the dolphin says.... the cow says yes but someone hear better "steer" clear of eating this food. the tuna then starts crying mom....mom? OH MY GOD MOMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY.

I didn't even smirk. FAX is funnier.

[Demonpenz]

I didn't even smirk. FAX is funnier.

yeah because that was the point :rolleyes:

[Demonpenz]

Rooooooollllll eyesssssssssss

[Demonpenz]

SarrrrrrrrrrrCAsssIIIiiIIIiMMMMmmMMmm

[Demonpenz]

NacchoooooOOOoOOOoOOOooOOoOOOooOOoOOoOOooOOooOOoO's

[Demonpenz]

MADagScarrrRRRrRRrRRrRRrRRrRR

[Demonpenz]

Noooo COntacTOooo spanish for no contact

[talastan]

shit......its totally lost on drummers:sulk:

What do you call a guy who hangs out with a band? :D

I'm a drummer and I feel your pain my friend! :)

[Jilly]

FMB, I thought it was funny. I"m just sayin

[Mark M]

I liked it. Especially the ""Excuse me. I'll just be a second" part.

But I'm strange like that ...

MM
~~:shrug: :)

[ZepSinger]

Hmmm. Nope, I didn't find it funny. I wanted to, as its geared toward musicians, but I found it about as funny as poking myself in the thumb with a new G string.

Z

[Demonpenz]

a guitar walks into ace hardware and asks to buy power chords

[Mark M]

Hmmm. Nope, I didn't find it funny. I wanted to, as its geared toward musicians, but I found it about as funny as poking myself in the thumb with a new G string.

Z

I don't think the thumb is where you supposed to poke that.

Or are you talking about guitars ... ?

MM
~~;)

[ZepSinger]

what do you call an amp sitting in the pasture? A Field Marshall
What do you get when someone runs over your Strat? A Fender Bender
How do you tell your guitar what you want to hear? Give it some feedback
Where did my guitars go? They went out to play
Where do guitars go for a big music festival? Headstock

Oh man, I got a million of 'em.... :)

Z

[ZepSinger]

I don't think the thumb is where you supposed to poke that.

Or are you talking about guitars ... ?

MM
~~;)

Whenever I change strings, that's the most dangerous one for pokage. The smaller strings bend over easily, and the bigger ones are usually too thick to poke. The G string is the perfect size for pain deliverance.

[Mark M]

Whenever I change strings, that's the most dangerous one for pokage. The smaller strings bend over easily, and the bigger ones are usually too thick to poke. The G string is the perfect size for pain deliverance.

Too ... many ... jokes ... must ... mock ... ZepSinger ... head ... ready ... to ... explode ...

MM
~~;) :D

[RealSNR]

There's no way Frasier is not the funniest show to ever hit airwaves.

Frasier: "Say, Jen, did you ever check out that art gallery I recommended?"

Jen: "Yeah, I did. I know you like that stuff, so I don't want to put it down or anything. But I just got the sense that all the paintings there were just coverups trying to make us Americans feel better about our evil, corrupt, manipulative, fallocratic heritage."

Frasier: "....they're... landscapes..."

[RealSNR]

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Best part of the joke.

If you claim to be a musician and didn't understand half the jokes in the OP, then you're not an actual musician.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Best part of the joke.

If you claim to be a musician and didn't understand half the jokes in the OP, then you're not an actual musician.

Yep. Being in a band doesn't necessarily make one a musician.