Misc So I set out for one goal last night... [Archive]

DaKCMan AP

04-02-2009, 07:49 AM

I don't usually go out Wednesdays but I'm going to be out of town the next 2 weekends so I felt it was needed. My buddy and I were going to meet up with these 2 girls we met last Friday night. Once we got to the first bar we realized neither of us remembered what they looked like. We had a few drinks then walked to the place where we were supposed to meet them. As we were walking up 2 girls were walking out of the place. We couldn't tell if it was them or not so we kept walking. We sat at the bar at place #2 and ordered some drinks. Soon after we got a text from the girls asking if it was us they just walked by and they were on the way to the bar we had just left. Eventually we all met up at bar #3 but I found it funny.

That is all.

kepp

04-02-2009, 07:50 AM

All that's missing from that post is the "hahahahahahahaha" at the end.

MIAdragon

04-02-2009, 07:52 AM

Hootie

04-02-2009, 07:54 AM

Do you know what its technically called when you have sex with a girl that is too drunk to make rational decisions?

You can't come off as much more of a dumbass, so you might as well go ahead and tell "the unbelievable story".

You have a drunken orgy with an Alien?

Hahahaha.

Dude when I used to actually date this girl...I'd come home in the mornings and tell my friends...

"Dude guys, she was so drunk last night it felt like I was raping her..."

She wasn't in that mode last night...it was around midnight and I had just sat down in the booth she was in and we started talking (hadn't talked in months, we usually just ignore one another)...and within minutes we walked out the door and headed to her place...

She was the one who sent her roommate to me and asked if I wanted to have sex with her...

I also learned last night that I am no longer 5 of 5...I am now 5 of 6 and she really likes the new guy but she thinks the new guy played her...

Hootie

04-02-2009, 07:54 AM

I'm sure this has been asked before. How old are you?

23.8

Hootie

04-02-2009, 07:55 AM

actually 23.11...shit my birthday is in a month SWEEET

the Talking Can

04-02-2009, 07:55 AM

virgins have amazing imaginations

Rausch

04-02-2009, 07:56 AM

No way...

I just woke up and posted this thread because I am pretty happy about accomplishing my goal...

I do smell something.

I smells me a steam engine full of bad karma turning the bend in your direction...

Katipan

04-02-2009, 07:59 AM

Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?

Rausch

04-02-2009, 08:00 AM

Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?

Yep.

That stink might have been from being a little low and outside the "plate."

ROFL

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:00 AM

Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!

Katipan

04-02-2009, 08:02 AM

I do smell something.

I smells me a steam engine full of bad karma turning the bend in your direction...

I think he's completely aware of the fact that pictures of his penis are someday going to be used in studies during high school Sex Ed classes.

I think he's cool with it.

MOhillbilly

04-02-2009, 08:02 AM

1...2...3...4.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW6m7EwbTRM

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:04 AM

Do you throw a baseball or bat left handed?

Or is it just fingering?

I bat left-handed, play hockey left-handed, masturbate left-handed, apparently finger left-handed...and do everything else right-handed.

I suppose fingering really depends on which side I'm on...but really, I guess I prefer left-handed because I just did the fingering motion with my right hand and it simply doesn't feel right...so maybe I instinctively position myself to be able to finger with my left hand every time I'm with a girl?

Hmm...

Cannibal

04-02-2009, 08:05 AM

Whadda douche.

LMAO So true.

Rausch

04-02-2009, 08:05 AM

Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c123/Niqorasu/fifth.png

Skyy God

04-02-2009, 08:06 AM

I think it's perfectly acceptable to want to be with chicks you've cared about in a moment of crisis. I'd do the same thing if my 360 RROD'd.

Tiger's Fan

04-02-2009, 08:08 AM

Stupid drunken whores are hard to find....

Katipan

04-02-2009, 08:08 AM

I suppose fingering really depends on which side I'm on...but really, I guess I prefer left-handed because I just did the fingering motion with my right hand and it simply doesn't feel right...so maybe I instinctively position myself to be able to finger with my left hand every time I'm with a girl?

Hmm...

Way more fascinating than the girl with the stinky twat.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:08 AM

I think he's completely aware of the fact that pictures of his penis are someday going to be used in studies during high school Sex Ed classes.

I think he's cool with it.

Well girl thread is about isn't much of a whore...I was her #5...#4 was a 2 minute thing...and she had been with a dude she met at ISU as a freshmen for the 2.5 years she was here prior to me (and that dude was a virgin before her)...

She was always really disturbed that I didn't know how many people I have had sex with...a lot of my friends keep lists...I don't know a lot of names let alone numbers...

I always liked the dude she dated for such a long time because he was her best friend/obsessive stalker who pretty much kept her from doing guys so I'm pretty disturbed #6 is now in the picture and she apparently likes him sooooo much...

I'm the one who tells her about the girls I hook up with after her NOT the other way around...I'm going to scope out new guy next time I see her at the bar (probably tonight)...even though she said she deleted his number because blah blah blah but I know how guys work...

Rain Man

04-02-2009, 08:09 AM

It seems like drunk girls aren't much of a challenge. Now, a conservative Yemeni girl, now that would be an accomplishment. Go make it happen, and then I'll be impressed.

keg in kc

04-02-2009, 08:10 AM

I found this on another board, I'm not sure if it's related:I always go to the same bar on Wednesday's....

My ex-boyfriend is there every Wednesday as well...we don't really talk that much, but we're not enemies or anything...

We have a very interesting story, but I won't get into it because it's pretty surreal and I doubt many would believe it because it simply doesn't make any sense...

Anyways my current 'kind of boyfriend yet not too serious' was out of town on a Calvin Klein shoot so I told my friend that I had one goal, and it was to hook up with my ex, and she was like “why, girl? That’s slummin’?”...

I didn’t have any doubts, because I knew he wanted me...he’s kind of a goofy-looking guy who smells funny, and he’s got the smallest dick I’ve ever seen, but it’s always worth a good laugh...

Anyways, this guy is a hardcore drinker...he gets wasted and that's when I used to have the majority of my "fun" with him...

Last week I was with my "boyfriend" and I kept walking by and hitting the ex in the back...somebody had put a “smack the pillowbiter” sign on his back with a post-it note…he didn't pay any attention because that's what he usually does, but I knew that he was jealous and that I could use that to my benefit if I wanted to...

So back to last night...my friend had her doubts, but after I was sufficiently drunk enough that I could talk to the loser without laughing my ass off, I decided to "put myself in the right place", meaning somewhere where I could entice his drunkness with my presence...

and it pretty much worked perfectly.

His roommate came and talked to me (I was talking to some of my "girlfriends" at a random table)...we were talking about Brad and Angelina breaking up...and then all of the sudden he was like "do you want to have sex with Elmer tonight?"

Hahahahaha. I asked him if he put him up to that to which he denied...but then I knew I was in...so I worked my way over to El-dawg...and before I knew it we ditched the bar and it was on...

Then, out of nowhere, in the middle of watching him try to beat his limp 2 incher for a half hour, right as I realize he’s about to finally start getting hard, I boot him out on his ass (I live across the street from him and the bar is two blocks away)...It was great I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do...my girlfriend had been filming the entire thing from the closet, and we’re posting it to failblog.com in the morning...

Anyways, I heard he went back to the bar and was trying to tell everybody that his hand smells like pussy...

I thought I'd share that wonderful story with you...it was a lot of laughs on my end.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:10 AM

I think it's perfectly acceptable to want to be with chicks you've cared about in a moment of crisis. I'd do the same thing if my 360 RROD'd.

That's hilarious. I set my facebook status to something along the lines of 'my Xbox is toast...my life is terrible...' and one of my other ex-girlfriends texted me to come out and I sent her something really depressive back and she told me to get over my xbox and drink the pain away...the people close to me know how much my xbox means to me.

Gonzo

04-02-2009, 08:13 AM

That's hilarious. I set my facebook status to something along the lines of 'my Xbox is toast...my life is terrible...' and one of my other ex-girlfriends texted me to come out and I sent her something really depressive back and she told me to get over my xbox and drink the pain away...the people close to me know how much my xbox means to me.

:shake:

Dude....Take up a new hobbie like fishing. Be a fucking man.

Lumpy

04-02-2009, 08:15 AM

I found this on another board, I'm not sure if it's related:

:clap: ROFL

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:19 AM

Fine, if people don't want to acknowledge my genius I'm ok with it...

I'm in the beer garden...my roommate and his girlfriend and I are in our "spot"...and we're taking shots and drinking...and I tell my roommate that I'm hooking up with Buttsack (that's what we call her, it's a play off of her last name) and I'm guaranteeing it...to which he laughs because it's an ongoing joke between my friends and I that she is the one that got away...and she has this terrible yellow purse that she carries around that makes us call her a hippie and refer to the purse as her Johnny Appleseed bag...I don't really know where that fits into the story but it does...so this girl who is like my best friend (I give all of my girlfriends nicknames) T-Smash (her name is Tracy...my friend Sean hooked up with a different Tracy around the time Hulk came out and this girl was like 6'2" tall...so after we heard Hulk Smash we started calling enormous Tracy Tracy Smash...so when I meant new Tracy I started calling her T-Smash)...is conveniently located at a high top REALLY close to Buttsack...I use this to my advantage by talking to T-Smash (and Buttsack knows I've hooked up with this girl several times)...and I knew she was watching the whole thing...within minutes her roommate comes over and then I knew my goal was going to be accomplished...and yes, in case anyone was wondering T-Smash was on the receiving end of the chocolate/vanilla game...and no, she wasn't pleased when she found out what it really was...but I do have a text from her this morning thanking me for being such a good friend and finding her phone last night...something I don't remember happening but +1 for me...

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:19 AM

:shake:

Dude....Take up a new hobbie like fishing. Be a ****ing man.

Uhm, in case you didn't know, I'm a 50 in Halo, and you don't talk to 50's like that!

Katipan

04-02-2009, 08:23 AM

Uhm, in case you didn't know, I'm a 50 in Halo, and you don't talk to 50's like that!

LMAO

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:25 AM

In case anyone doesn't realize the true accomplishment this really is...

When Emily and I stopped dating...she blocked me from Facebook...now, many of you probably don't have Facebook but that's a pretty big gesture in my world! What did I do that was block worthy!?!? That was the question I often asked myself...to which she would reply with..."you'll probably post something ridiculous on my wall that I don't want everyone to read..." Which is probably 100% true.

Anyways...I challenge any of you to find someone else who has been blocked by a person on Facebook yet continues to be able to have sex with that person...it's like having sex with your stalker...generally, you only block someone on Facebook if that person is creepy or a stalker...so lets assume I'm a creepy stalker...I'm a creepy stalker who gets the deal done!

and GD I just rubbed my balls and now I have emily juice all over my hand again!

tooge

04-02-2009, 08:31 AM

thats awesome. I used to act like that when I was oh, about 16 years old. You are a complete tool.

DJ's left nut

04-02-2009, 08:32 AM

Awesome, another Tucker Max wannabe.

Didn't have nearly enough of those.

Congrats on nailing the drunk ho at the bar, certainly worthy of high praise.

Gonzo

04-02-2009, 08:34 AM

Uhm, in case you didn't know, I'm a 50 in Halo, and you don't talk to 50's like that!

LMAO

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:35 AM

LMAO

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:38 AM

Awesome, another Tucker Max wannabe.

Didn't have nearly enough of those.

Congrats on nailing the drunk ho at the bar, certainly worthy of high praise.

This isn't some random ho...this is my ex-girlfriend who has blocked me on facebook!

Of course when we first started dating she dropped the bomb on me that..."oh yeah, we can't have sex for a week because I have chlamydia..."

In which case I replied..."what about your boyfriend?"

To which she said..."Oh, we haven't had sex since my birthday (like 9 months ago) and that she got it from her ex over Thanksgiving..."

To which I reply with...

"Oh."

But thanks for the heads up...

Of course if I was going to get any STD...chlamydia would be my choice. Antibiotics for a week and boom! Gone.

Of course T-Smash allegedly has HPV...just about every girl in Normal has something, though. The STD rate is off the hook in these parts!

Skyy God

04-02-2009, 08:40 AM

Uhm, in case you didn't know, I'm a 50 in Halo, and you don't talk to 50's like that!

I'm a COD guy, but 50 is solid.

My favorite ex moment was almost convincing one, in the middle of the day, to get her 1st tat. This is the same girl that tried to jump from my moving car (probably going 20-25) when blitzed.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:41 AM

I knew this board would be a great place to post this story...

I love all of the convictions people have on this board...I don't really have any, though.

CoMoChief

04-02-2009, 08:43 AM

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:44 AM

I'm a COD guy, but 50 is solid.

My favorite ex moment was almost convincing one, in the middle of the day, to get her 1st tat. This is the same girl that tried to jump from my moving car (probably going 20-25) when blitzed.
Yeah, you're either COD or Halo...so I've learned.

My friend and I are Halo-attics...we buy new accounts every month to see how many games it takes us to get to a 50 playing doubles...

Of course the social lobbies are also really fun...it never gets old telling some 12 year old kid you're going to suck his meat dragon to see the reaction you get...or guaranteeing him that his mom has been with at least one black dude in her day...

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:46 AM

I'd look at Andy (my friend) and say..."dude I think it smells like vanilla", and then he'd say "no dude...it smells like chocolate!"...and then we'd turn to the random leaving girl and say, "what do you think?" and then I'd shove me hand in their face...

GAY!!!!

It was a game that stemmed from football practice in high school...

My friend Steve rubbed his finger on his butthole or something and apparently his finger smelt like total shit...

Sean and Steve proceed to trick Andy (gullible) with the chocolate/vanilla trick...

Steve goes..."Andy, I think it smells like vanilla, but Sean thinks it smells like chocolate, what do you think?"

Andy smells Steve's finger and has a shocked expression on his face...and exclaims..."It's poop!"

Pretty funny moment in my life.

wutamess

04-02-2009, 08:47 AM

This a redneck/trailerpark of the year award nomination in the making?

Mr. Kotter

04-02-2009, 08:49 AM

Lumpy

04-02-2009, 08:50 AM

I'm so glad that I settled down w/ a good, mature man.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:50 AM

This a redneck/trailerpark of the year award nomination in the making?

Well considering this happened in a college town with a college girl...I don't really see the correlation.

Slut moment, douchebag moment, these work a little better than redneck or trailer park...

CoMoChief

04-02-2009, 08:51 AM

It was a game that stemmed from football practice in high school...

My friend Steve rubbed his finger on his butthole or something and apparently his finger smelt like total shit...

Sean and Steve proceed to trick Andy (gullible) with the chocolate/vanilla trick...

Steve goes..."Andy, I think it smells like vanilla, but Sean thinks it smells like chocolate, what do you think?"

Andy smells Steve's finger and has a shocked expression on his face...and exclaims..."It's poop!"

Pretty funny moment in my life.

You ever give someone the impossible situp?

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:51 AM

If you are not yet, without help you are a rapist in training. Seek help.

ROFL

You're right, I have really psychotic tendencies.

DJ's left nut

04-02-2009, 08:52 AM

This isn't some random ho...this is my ex-girlfriend who has blocked me on facebook!

Of course when we first started dating she dropped the bomb on me that..."oh yeah, we can't have sex for a week because I have chlamydia..."

In which case I replied..."what about your boyfriend?"

To which she said..."Oh, we haven't had sex since my birthday (like 9 months ago) and that she got it from her ex over Thanksgiving..."

To which I reply with...

"Oh."

But thanks for the heads up...

Of course if I was going to get any STD...chlamydia would be my choice. Antibiotics for a week and boom! Gone.

Of course T-Smash allegedly has HPV...just about every girl in Normal has something, though. The STD rate is off the hook in these parts!

No.

If you date a one-legged midget, she doesn't go from a one-legged midget to "my ex-girlfriend", she's still a one-legged midget who just so happens to to be your ex-girlfriend.

This is just a random drunk ho. You dated said ho at some point, but that doesn't change her status as an RDH.

petegz28

04-02-2009, 08:52 AM

This one time at band camp.......

wutamess

04-02-2009, 08:52 AM

Well considering this happened in a college town with a college girl...I don't really see the correlation.

Slut moment, douchebag moment, these work a little better than redneck or trailer park...

All I envision is a trailer park apartment setting with the local OK Coral bar across the street (in the Ozarks). Sounds pretty redneckish to me.

Gonzo

04-02-2009, 08:53 AM

I'm so glad that I settled down w/ a good, mature man.

:thumb:

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:54 AM

I'm so glad that I settled down w/ a good, mature man.

Mature is probably something I'll never be.

I'm ok with that...I am either not getting married or not getting married until I'm 35+...

Mr. Kotter

04-02-2009, 08:54 AM

ROFL

You're right, I have really psychotic tendencies.

Not exactly something you should be proud of.....too bad you don't see it as something to be concerned about.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:55 AM

No.

If you date a one-legged midget, she doesn't go from a one-legged midget to "my ex-girlfriend", she's still a one-legged midget who just so happens to to be your ex-girlfriend.

This is just a random drunk ho. You dated said ho at some point, but that doesn't change her status as an RDH.

Hey, I love RDH's, so this is ok with me.

My life sucks without my xbox, it would really suck without RDH's...

keg in kc

04-02-2009, 08:56 AM

I am either not getting marriedStick with that or not getting married until I'm 35+...No no no no no

Lumpy

04-02-2009, 08:57 AM

:thumb:

I said mature, not old. ROFL

Hootie

04-02-2009, 08:58 AM

Not exactly something you should be proud of.....too bad you don't see it as something to be concerned about.

dude I listen to Kelly Clarkson and drink...I set a goal to hook up with an ex last night and accomplished that...I'm not quite sure how that makes me a rapist in training, but if that's how I painted the picture, than I guess you're right.

Lumpy

04-02-2009, 08:58 AM

Mature is probably something I'll never be.

I'm ok with that...I am either not getting married or not getting married until I'm 35+...

Well whatever u choose to do... plz don't breed.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 09:01 AM

Well whatever u choose to do... plz don't breed.

I got a 26 on my ACT...I type 93 WPM...that's breed worthy, if you ask me.

Lumpy

04-02-2009, 09:10 AM

I got a 26 on my ACT...I type 93 WPM...that's breed worthy, if you ask me.

:whackit: I wasn't referring to ur intellect.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 09:14 AM

:whackit: I wasn't referring to ur intellect.

I am trilingual.

Fish

04-02-2009, 09:15 AM

Hey guys, crazy story. I broke my favorite toy, and I'm so sad I could cry. You don't understand my relationship with my toy.

But I touched a boobie last night! Whooo! I wanted to touch a boobie and I did it! I'm awesome!! Aren't I?

Discuss.....

Saccopoo

04-02-2009, 09:24 AM

Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!

That's the BEST a person can muster in three months? Having an ex-girlfriend attempt to get back at her current boyfriend for a perceived slight by having sex with you; a girl who apparently only felt comfortable having sex with you when she was completely inebriated? And you have the class and discretion to openly brag on this forum about a borderline rape, followed by one of the most chicken shit moves - going out the window rather than face scrutiny by her peers, and then proceed to be a complete and utter slimeball by attempting to humiliate and demean other women in an attempt to associate them with your highly negative actions?

That's not being immature. That's not being funny. That's showcasing sociopathetic tendencies. Seriously. And if you don't believe me, check out the symptoms/indicators/traits of a sociopath: http://http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Either get help or suck on a tail pipe. Because all you are doing right now is wasting decent peoples oxygen you contemptible, insensitive, selfish dirtbag.

Saccopoo

04-02-2009, 09:26 AM

I got a 26 on my ACT...I type 93 WPM...that's breed worthy, if you ask me.

Yeah, the steno-pool ace trait really brings 'em in I bet.

"Hey baby, you wanna get married and have babies? I mean, I DO type really fast."

Buck

04-02-2009, 09:27 AM

I didn't read anyone elses responses, but thats a funny story. Congrats.

Jilly

04-02-2009, 09:33 AM

That just sounds annoying. How old are you?

Hootie

04-02-2009, 09:34 AM

That's the BEST a person can muster in three months? Having an ex-girlfriend attempt to get back at her current boyfriend for a perceived slight by having sex with you; a girl who apparently only felt comfortable having sex with you when she was completely inebriated? And you have the class and discretion to openly brag on this forum about a borderline rape, followed by one of the most chicken shit moves - going out the window rather than face scrutiny by her peers, and then proceed to be a complete and utter slimeball by attempting to humiliate and demean other women in an attempt to associate them with your highly negative actions?

That's not being immature. That's not being funny. That's showcasing sociopathetic tendencies. Seriously. And if you don't believe me, check out the symptoms/indicators/traits of a sociopath: http://http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Either get help or suck on a tail pipe. Because all you are doing right now is wasting decent peoples oxygen you contemptible, insensitive, selfish dirtbag.

I clicked the site...I don't fit many of those tendencies...

Hootie

04-02-2009, 09:36 AM

a lot of you take things very seriously...

That's cool, I guess. A lot of my girl friends (not girlfriends) say that I can't take anything seriously...

I like it that way.

Jilly

04-02-2009, 09:42 AM

a lot of you take things very seriously...

That's cool, I guess. A lot of my girl friends (not girlfriends) say that I can't take anything seriously...

I like it that way.

Nah, let me paint the scenario that is in my head:

Group of dudes sitting at a table obviously hammered. I'm a girl out with my friends for the night, having this awesome time, but ready to leave because it's late and I'm tired and have to work in the morning. These dudes at the other table are getting louder and louder, screaming about chocolate and vanilla, one of them clumsily walks over to me, breathes into my face....do you think this smells like chocolate or vanilla? I'm standing there, coat in hand...I lean over to smell...and guy spits on me because he's laughing so hard at this point and even falls into me a little bit...his friends at his table cracking up and yelling things like "she was a god damn whore", "dude, you fucking wrecked that shit," and "chocolate my ass, that smells more like a can of tuna gone bad"....

Saccopoo

04-02-2009, 09:51 AM

a lot of you take things very seriously...

That's cool, I guess. A lot of my girl friends (not girlfriends) say that I can't take anything seriously...

I like it that way.

There in lies the problem. You don't see anything wrong with your actions. You even brag about them here in an attempt to look for approval.

However, people, at least decent people, don't approve of asinine, immature, selfish, demeaning behavior. No one is going to give you a thumbs up for taking advantage of a woman in a completely inebriated state, which, by every state law that I'm aware of qualifies as a case of rape, unless they are also immature, insensitive losers who are trying to get personal satisfaction and recognition by group association, regardless of what social group that may be.

It's obvious you don't care, and even think that what you did was socially acceptable. It wasn't. And it showcases why you are a sociopath. You don't care. You don't care about the drunk girl. You don't care about the people around you after the fact, you don't care about yourself. You seemingly lack a conscious, and/or judgement and an understanding about what is right, wrong and how your actions affect others in your society.

You are a sociopath. Get help.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:00 AM

Man, Jack Bauer's dad was a sociopath...I'd hate to be like that guy.

bogey

04-02-2009, 10:02 AM

actually 23.11...shit my birthday is in a month SWEEET

I am surprised there will be more than 14 candles on your cake.

Iowanian

04-02-2009, 10:11 AM

DeezNutz

04-02-2009, 10:14 AM

58-4ever

04-02-2009, 10:19 AM

But I draw the line on diseases, no matter how picturesque the breasts.

This. It's obvious Hootie is an immature asshole that has little regard for other's feelings or even a burning sensation when he pees. However, calling him a rapist is a little over the top.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:21 AM

I like how the idea of penetrating a drunken Ex is some big accomplishment.

the truth is, she let you insert the tip long enough to give you her yeast infection because she hates you.

If you believe that chic, who had vd and cheats on her boyfriends, has only been with 5-6 guys, I've got some swamp land to sell you where you can pull in a trailer to live happily ever after with T-Gash.
Exactly.

Which is why her story is too unbelievable to tell =)

I'm not a moron when it comes to girls, I know when they are lying and I know when they are not.

I know her ex-boyfriend pretty well and I know their story.

I love sluts. Slutty girls are awesome. This particular girl isn't a slut, which I realize is hard to believe. Trust me.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:23 AM

This. It's obvious Hootie is an immature asshole that has little regard for other's feelings or even a burning sensation when he pees. However, calling him a rapist is a little over the top.

I don't know how that was even brought up...

A) I dated this girl for 6 or 7 months.
B) We've had sex many times.
C) We've been drunk together many times.

I understand how someone might think it's rape if it was some random drunk girl who couldn't walk or speak...

But I have a pretty long history with this girl, and we are still pretty decent friends. We were never NOT civil or anything like that...

Smed1065

04-02-2009, 10:24 AM

Do you know what its technically called when you have sex with a girl that is too drunk to make rational decisions?

Mrs Iowanian?

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:24 AM

and she's still one of the coolest girls I've ever met...

Awesome personality...never gets mad about anything. A pleasure to hang out with...doesn't get mad when we make fun of her.

Hammock Parties

04-02-2009, 10:26 AM

Jehovah does not approve.

Spicy McHaggis

04-02-2009, 10:26 AM

Dude, if this is a goal...

Aim higher. A lot higher.

MagicHef

04-02-2009, 10:29 AM

actually 23.11...shit my birthday is in a month SWEEET

I'm not convinced that you understand decimals.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:32 AM

Dude, if this is a goal...

Aim higher. A lot higher.

You guys take things WAY too friggin' seriously.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:32 AM

I'm not convinced that you understand decimals.

True...how about 23 and 11/12

Hammock Parties

04-02-2009, 10:33 AM

Personally I'm glad Hootie shares his drunken sexual escapades with us. I live vicariously through him.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:36 AM

I have to go over to her place today and get my jacket...I'll make sure to show her this thread so she can see what a sociopath/rapist I am. She'll probably agree.

She knows how addicted to ChiefsPlanet I am...in fact, all of my friends make fun of me for it.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:37 AM

58-4ever

04-02-2009, 10:40 AM

We'll be talking draft and one of my friends will say something...and I'll retort with "well they say etc. etc. etc." and then my friends will be like...by they, do you mean your friends on ChiefsPlanet?

Of course everyone on this site hates me so friends doesn't really work but you get the point.

If people "hate" you, then they do take things WAY too seriously. If anything, your love for Huard and slutty girls makes you too comical to hate.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:43 AM

If people "hate" you, then they do take things WAY too seriously. If anything, your love for Huard and slutty girls makes you too comical to hate.

Just had to bring Huard into it...

Hammock Parties

04-02-2009, 10:43 AM

SLUT BOUND AND DOWN
HOOTIE'S GONE OUT SLUMMIN

HE GONNA DO WHAT THEY SAY CAN'T BE DONE

HE'S GOT SOME OLD PUSS TO FUCK
AND A SHORT TIME TO FUCK IT
SLUT BOUND JUST WATCH 'OL HOOTIE FUUUUUUCK

http://www.edmunds.com/media/il/features/general/smokey.and.the.bandit/33.smokey.bandit.340.jpg

bogey

04-02-2009, 10:44 AM

We'll be talking draft and one of my friends will say something...and I'll retort with "well they say etc. etc. etc." and then my friends will be like...by they, do you mean your friends on ChiefsPlanet?

Of course everyone on this site hates me so friends doesn't really work but you get the point.

I don't think everyone on this site hates you. I do think the majority on this site laugh at you and think you're ignorant. I suspect the majority of your "friends" think the same thing. Unfortuately, you're too young to see it.

Hootie

04-02-2009, 10:47 AM

I don't think everyone on this site hates you. I do think the majority on this site laugh at you and think you're ignorant. I suspect the majority of your "friends" think the same thing. Unfortuately, you're too young to see it.

Hmm...

I've had the same 5 friends since I was 12 years old...

I like it that way.

My friends and I consistently have a great time and at this point in my life, that's really all I'm worried about. I don't have any obligations other than school, and like I said, in terms of morals or convictions, I don't really have any of those, either.

bogey

04-02-2009, 10:49 AM

Hmm...

I've had the same 5 friends since I was 12 years old...

I like it that way.

My friends and I consistently have a great time and at this point in my life, that's really all I'm worried about. I don't have any obligations other than school, and like I said, in terms of morals or convictions, I don't really have any of those, either.

Have a good time. Hopefully, you have a long life ahead of you. I do agree with an earlier poster though, please don't breed.

vailpass

04-02-2009, 10:55 AM

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

bogey

04-02-2009, 10:58 AM

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

I'm not up-in-arms, but, do you think he comes off as having the intellect of a 23 year old? I can promise you I was never this immature at 23. That's my only point.

Hammock Parties

04-02-2009, 11:01 AM

Would you rather hootie sow his wild oats at 23 or build boba fett costumes?

MOhillbilly

04-02-2009, 11:02 AM

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

shit ya, and i fucked all them sluts i could. i just dont like hootie.

Stewie

04-02-2009, 11:04 AM

You ever give someone the impossible situp?

ROFL

We used to call them "power situps." Man, that takes me back 20+ years.

DeezNutz

04-02-2009, 11:05 AM

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

I used to hate it when tan, nubile coeds used to force my drunk ass to hook up with them. Couldn't they see I was in no position to make appropriate decisions? I thought about pursuing this in court, but, alas...

I'll have to live with the painful memories of bountiful breasts and exotic thongs.

vailpass

04-02-2009, 11:10 AM

I'm not up-in-arms, but, do you think he comes off as having the intellect of a 23 year old? I can promise you I was never this immature at 23. That's my only point.

I see what you are saying and maybe you were a better man than me.
If they had filmed everything I did during my 23 rd year there would be a lot of shit I would not want to claim.

Nzoner

04-02-2009, 11:14 AM

If they had filmed everything I did during my 23 rd year there would be a lot of shit I would not want to claim.

23rd,hell I can say that about my 40's

:)

vailpass

04-02-2009, 11:16 AM

23rd,hell I can say that about my 40's

:)

LMAO You sir are one of the fortunate few.

SBK

04-02-2009, 11:16 AM

This has to be a parody thread.

Nzoner

04-02-2009, 11:17 AM

LMAO You sir are one of the fortunate few.

Boys will be boys

Iowanian

04-02-2009, 11:18 AM

Mrs Iowanian?

11:30Am is a little early for your drunk ass to be out of bed, isn't it sport?

bogey

04-02-2009, 11:19 AM

I see what you are saying and maybe you were a better man than me.
If they had filmed everything I did during my 23 rd year there would be a lot of shit I would not want to claim.

Don't get me wrong, I fucked every girl that would stand still long enough for me to fuck her. I just didn't share it with the world.

vailpass

04-02-2009, 11:20 AM

Boys will be boys

Tell that to my liver. I have friends in from out of town, we hit the NCAA tourney game on Saturday and didn't quit drinking until Tuesday.
Found a receipt from a place called Highlighters (ballet club) today, don't remember going there.

DeezNutz

04-02-2009, 11:20 AM

Don't get me wrong, I ****ed every girl that would stand still long enough for me to **** her. I just didn't share it with the world.

Oh yeah...well I fucked the ones who ran away, too! Top that!

vailpass

04-02-2009, 11:21 AM

Don't get me wrong, I fucked every girl that would stand still long enough for me to fuck her. I just didn't share it with the world.

I hear you. The internet has changed a lot of things. The guy that would fuck-and-tell back in the day told his tory to a few people at most.
Today the same guy can tell his tale once and it is broadcast to the world.

Nzoner

04-02-2009, 11:25 AM

Tell that to my liver. I have friends in from out of town, we hit the NCAA tourney game on Saturday and didn't quit drinking until Tuesday.
Found a receipt from a place called Highlighters (ballet club) today, don't remember going there.

I hear ya man,me a buddy went to Vegas the 17th-24th for the first 2 rounds and got tore up.Flew home late Tuesday,slept all day Wednesday and then hit it again Thursday-Saturday for the Mizzou games etc.

I haven;t had a drink since Saturday,nor am I even close to wanting one. :(

Hootie

04-02-2009, 11:25 AM

I love sharing my adventures with you guys...all of my friends thought last night was hilarious...I need this site to put me back in my place...I save thousands on therapy by posting on this site...I've always wondered what was wrong with me and CP has helped me realize I'm a sociopath that needs help before I start raping family members...

bogey

04-02-2009, 11:26 AM

Oh yeah...well I ****ed the ones who ran away, too! Top that!

Can't top it. Although several ran away afterwards.

Iowanian

04-02-2009, 11:31 AM

What did we get on our paper?

Hootie

04-02-2009, 11:36 AM

What did we get on our paper?

It needs work for the final portfolio.

I kind of ignored the assignment and did my own thing...which he pointed out...

DeezNutz

04-02-2009, 11:36 AM

Can't top it. Although several ran away afterwards.

LMAO

88TG88

04-02-2009, 11:37 AM

pics

Nzoner

04-02-2009, 11:40 AM

Can't top it. Although several ran away afterwards.

That works both ways,too bad there wasn't a morning after pill for guys back then as their were mornings I would wake,roll over look at her,and go holy hell what did I do!!

Hootie

04-02-2009, 11:43 AM

There will probably be another Ritalin thread later this week...I have a shit ton of stuff to do by April 6th.

PunkinDrublic

04-02-2009, 11:43 AM

I was going to post a thread condemning you but then I realized that me and my friends are all in our late 20s and early 30s and not much further up on the maturity food chain than you are.

OnTheWarpath15

04-02-2009, 11:53 AM

I'll take "The Rapists" for $400, Alex.

Bowser

04-02-2009, 12:01 PM

I'll take "The Rapists" for $400, Alex.

That's THER-a-pists, Mr. Connery.

Buehler445

04-02-2009, 12:06 PM

I'm not convinced that you understand decimals.

Beat me to it.

23.11. Seriously? At what point can that make sense?

Hootie

04-02-2009, 12:07 PM

Beat me to it.

23.11. Seriously? At what point can that make sense?

but you understood what I meant...

Stewie

04-02-2009, 12:21 PM

That's THER-a-pists, Mr. Connery.

"I'll take Jap Anus Relationships for $400, Alex"
"That's Japan US Relationships, Mr. Connery."

bogey

04-02-2009, 12:34 PM

That works both ways,too bad there wasn't a morning after pill for guys back then as their were mornings I would wake,roll over look at her,and go holy hell what did I do!!

Most of my conquests in my youth were tourists I met while working at a theme park. I would rarely wake up the next morning with them. :)

vailpass

04-02-2009, 01:03 PM

I'll take "The Rapists" for $400, Alex.

LMAO One of my alltime fav SNL skits.

Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.

Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.

Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis man?

Alex Trebek: It's not a product Mr. Connery.

Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before, wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.

Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing!

Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers?

Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not.

Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!

burt

04-02-2009, 01:09 PM

actually 23.11...shit my birthday is in a month SWEEET

My kids stopped telling their age this way at around 4 and a half! Hootie, I was immature at 23.11.... also. I am not really proud of it. Actually, sometimes I am.

Blick

04-02-2009, 01:27 PM

Well done sir. I recently talked my ex into being friends with benefits. We'll see how long it lasts.

Demonpenz

04-02-2009, 01:32 PM

keep playing with fire and you will get burned

Iowanian

04-02-2009, 01:34 PM

Unpossible....Hootie's bad idea jeans are fire proof!

Demonpenz

04-02-2009, 01:39 PM

Why are so many up-in-arms over this post? Were none of you ever 23?

alot of them probably have teenage daughters

burt

04-02-2009, 01:39 PM

Unpossible....Hootie's bad idea jeans are fire proof!

Hell, you're only 23.11... once!

burt

04-02-2009, 01:40 PM

alot of them probably have teenage daughters

Yeah, but they are smart enough NOT to fall for his lines! I can only imagine how poor his game is if he only waite 'til they are drunk!

Demonpenz

04-02-2009, 01:41 PM

I don't know if this has been brought up yet, but no matter how long you know a woman, there is that small chance that they are fricking crazy and will turn on you. Not like crazy boo hoo these shoes don't match and I am going to cry at dollar general, but flat out call the cops on you and punch themselves in the vagina and claim you raped them. Luckily for me ahem you your penis is no where big enough to match a fist punch

KcFanInGA

04-02-2009, 02:01 PM

Yep.

That stink might have been from being a little low and outside the "plate."

ROFL

Hahahaha!!! This.

KcFanInGA

04-02-2009, 02:02 PM

I like my pussy like I like my biscuits...extra yeasty!!!

KcFanInGA

04-02-2009, 02:03 PM

Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3.

burt

04-02-2009, 02:27 PM

Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3.

Just threw up in my mouth.......alot.

XXXshogunXXX

04-02-2009, 03:03 PM

I always go to the same bar on Wednesday's....

My ex-girlfriend is there every Wednesday as well...we don't really talk that much, but we're not enemies or anything...

We have a very interesting story, but I won't get into it because it's pretty surreal and I doubt many would believe it because it simply doesn't make any sense...

Anyways my current 'kind of girlfriend yet not to serious' was out of town for a birthday party or something so I told my friend that I had one goal, and it was to hook up with my ex, but he didn't think I could...

I had my doubts, because I knew she was either with someone else or into someone else...she had a long term boyfriend who was her best friend that will always hate me because he thinks I'm the reason she broke up with him, but the truth is she wasn't physically into him and considered him more of a brother than a boyfriend...but I could tell a few weeks ago when she stopped staring at me all of the time that she had found a new "fling"...

Anyways, this girl is a hardcore drinker...she gets wasted and that's when we used to have the majority of our "fun"...

Last week I was with my "girlfriend" and she kept walking by and hitting me in the back...I didn't pay any attention because that's what I usually do, but I knew that she was jealous and that I could use that to my benefit if I wanted to...

So back to last night...my friend had his doubts, but after I was sufficiently drunk enough, I decided to "put myself in the right place", meaning somewhere where I could entice her drunkness with my presence...

and it pretty much worked perfectly.

Her roommate came and talked to me (I was talking to some of my "girlfriends" at a random table)...we were talking about our Chocco Mountain (Mario Kart) races back in the day...and then all of the sudden she was like "do you want to have sex with Emily tonight?"

Hahahahaha. I asked her if she put her up to that to which she denied...but then I knew I was in...so I worked my way over to Em-dawg...and before I knew it we ditched the bar and it was on...

Then, out of nowhere, in the middle of my devious sexual escapade, my ex realizes she is pretty hammered and essentially kicks me out of her apartment (I live across the street from her and the bar is two blocks away)...I'm not mad because I pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do...and figured she was probably going to come to her senses sometime between 1 AM and 3 AM so at least I had hooked up with her again (my goal) for the first time in a month or so...

Anyways, I went back to the bar and my friends thought this whole ordeal was hilarious and were amazed that I somehow pulled it off...but something wasn't right with my ex (probably period week) and my left hand (fingering hand) smelt like total ass...now, we're drunk and find it hilarious that my hand reeks of pussy...

So the rest of the night at the bar my friend and I play a game with just about every girl leaving...

I'd look at Andy (my friend) and say..."dude I think it smells like vanilla", and then he'd say "no dude...it smells like chocolate!"...and then we'd turn to the random leaving girl and say, "what do you think?" and then I'd shove me hand in their face...

I thought I'd share that wonderful story with you...it was a lot of laughs on my end.

you said Em-dawg...haah

Spicy McHaggis

04-02-2009, 03:17 PM

You guys take things WAY too friggin' seriously.

Dude, my name is user name is Spicy McHaggis because I feel a kinship to all those of Irish descent who become severely inebriated and make the occasional drunken mistake. I'm not being serious.

Smed1065

04-07-2009, 05:38 AM

Jehovah does not approve.:cuss::cuss::cuss:

easymobee

04-07-2009, 09:09 AM

You are doing your ex a huge disservice. Espescially if she and your friends are aware of your posts here and are likely to read it ( you even said you would show her this thread ).

You are selling me (the casual reader)
1. Smelly cooch
2. STD history
3. Binge Drinker
4. Cheats when bf is away
5. Regular barfly who can be found at said bar any time the calendar says wednesday.
6. Someone who allegedely would be ok with knowledge of you posting this and sharing her (smelly) vaginal bouquet with strangers for a laugh.

You seem to think this girl is real quality people, but you are painting her to be a real ugly picture in this thread. Is anyone picturing a lovely girl from this story?
Posted via Mobile Device

Katipan

04-07-2009, 09:12 AM

Those are all symptoms of drinking too much.

Maybe she's a sweet angel of mercy when sober.

MVChiefFan

04-07-2009, 09:17 AM

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 09:18 AM

I'm thinking you are pretty much a douche bag, but that's just me......

seclark

04-07-2009, 09:19 AM

I'm thinking you are pretty much a douche bag, but that's just me......

no, it's not just you.
sec

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 09:27 AM

no, it's not just you.
sec

Well, just so you know, I was completely willing to carry the flag alone into this battle.

easymobee

04-07-2009, 09:27 AM

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:30 AM

Dude, she knows she's ridiculous. She is an awesome girl to hang out with...funny/doesn't bitch about anything/loves to drink/laughs at everything I do (super important because I'm hilarious)...

Easily one of the coolest girls I've hung around...smelly vag isn't the norm for her, and it really doesn't bother me anyways. Some girls tend to have issues down there, some do sometimes, and others never do...or so I've learned.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:35 AM

So if your friends know of the planet and you are planning on showing the skeez in question this thread. How long until the events of last wednesday night make it back to the absentee bf?

Trying to get laid from an ex with a drinking problem, not neccasarily a bad idea.

Posting it, horrible idea.

Also, I know something like chocolate/vanilla can be funny amongst the right group of friends, but it is definately not humorous when shared with the general (sober) public. No matter how hard it may have made you and your friends laugh.
Posted via Mobile Device

I see what you're saying...

But my drunk friends and I, as much as it makes you all cringe, don't really give a shit about people we don't know in a bar.

I know when people do ridiculous things around us, as long as it's funny, we find it hilarious. Sure, not everyone shares the same ridiculous sense of humor that we have, but truly, I don't care.

The really cool thing is...my roommate is the head bouncer at the bar, and my other roommate is a bartender, and we know everyone, and it's a pretty popular bar...and the above gives me free reign to do whatever I want. AND THAT MAKES ME A HAPPY PANDA BEAR.

The Bad Guy

04-07-2009, 09:35 AM

You're 24 and not graduated yet?

The Bad Guy

04-07-2009, 09:37 AM

htismaqe

04-07-2009, 09:39 AM

Claythan is an attention whore, but Hootie is very close.

Who posts stories like this to strangers on the internet? Most of us have wild college stories, but the only people who give a shit about them are people directly connected to the story.

After reading the last couple of paragraphs, it looks to me like an attempt to validate masculinity, albeit in a childish sort of way.

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 09:39 AM

You're 24 and not graduated yet?

Hey now, that hurts................well, I was actually getting my MBA at that time, so that probably doesn't count.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:42 AM

I'm thinking you are pretty much a douche bag, but that's just me......

I'm ok with that.

I really enjoy my friends and my day-to-day life, I like it enough to share it with ChiefsPlanet.com...of course I know the prude 40+ crowd who haven't had a truly fun and exciting night for over a decade is going to try and put me in my place...that's half the fun.

My mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year...and then she ended up paying for the 5 city ordinance violations for me that I had put off for over a year...that's love. If it doesn't bother my mom that her underachieving 23 year old son is a drunk delinquent, it doesn't bother me!

easymobee

04-07-2009, 09:43 AM

I check into the planet sparingly these days, is gochiefs still a virgin?
Posted via Mobile Device

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:45 AM

You're 24 and not graduated yet?

Not quite 24, but yeah...

I never had great study habits...high school was easy and I half-assed through it was a staggering 2.3 GPA...I simply tested into ISU with a decent ACT (not like ISU is hard to get in to)...

Well I got paired with the wrong roommates freshmen year and lasted a semester before I realized if I didn't drop my classes, I'd pretty much **** myself hardcore when it was all said and done.

So I took three semesters off.

Three wonderful semesters. I'm really in no hurry. The last thing I want to do is start a real job.

htismaqe

04-07-2009, 09:46 AM

My mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas last year...and then she ended up paying for the 5 city ordinance violations for me that I had put off for over a year...that's love. If it doesn't bother my mom that her underachieving 23 year old son is a drunk delinquent, it doesn't bother me!

OK, that's awesome. ROFL

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:47 AM

After reading the last couple of paragraphs, it looks to me like an attempt to validate masculinity, albeit in a childish sort of way.

Dude, I can throw a baseball 80 MPH and I'm a 50 in Halo.

Do you really think I need to prove anything? Those two stats alone obviously make me, not only a man, but THE man.

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 09:48 AM

I'm ok with that.

I really enjoy my friends and my day-to-day life, I like it enough to share it with ChiefsPlanet.com...of course I know the prude 40+ crowd who haven't had a truly fun and exciting night for over a decade is going to try and put me in my place...that's half the fun.

Prude? Not at all

Over 40? Yep

Haven't had a truly fun evening in over a decade? Sticking my pooey and vaggy fingers in my buddies faces hasn't been fun since.........ever.

Putting you in your place? Just about every time you post, you take care of that yourself.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:52 AM

OK, that's awesome. ROFL

I was on probation until I was 21...and then I moved to Chicago and my roommate was a police officer...I was pretty relaxed out there...I'd get ridiculously drunk bet generally I didn't do anything stupid because I didn't want to end up dead in an alley...

Anyways, when I moved back to Normal, I decided I was ready to do something so ridiculous that I'd get arrested, and was content with being arrested one time before I relaxed.

Well upon the many staggering things I've done at freshmen dorms/bars/and late night Mexican food places, I've realized that the police officers will NOT arrest you if they don't have to, no matter what.

It's crazy. I've done so many ridiculous things to police officers and all they ever do is find some bullshit reason to write me a $50 ticket for something that doesn't even make sense.

So, naturally, I thought these tickets were like parking tickets until I was served with a subpoena for not showing up to court three different times...so Christmas time was a blessing in disguise.

Skip Towne

04-07-2009, 09:52 AM

Man, Jack Bauer's dad was a sociopath...I'd hate to be like that guy.

So was Ted Bundy.

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 09:57 AM

So was Ted Bundy.

So was Al Bundy.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 09:58 AM

Prude? Not at all

Over 40? Yep

Haven't had a truly fun evening in over a decade? Sticking my pooey and vaggy fingers in my buddies faces hasn't been fun since.........ever.

Putting you in your place? Just about every time you post, you take care of that yourself.
Well here, let me be honest with you...

I've never once claimed to be intelligent, book smart, or anything like that...

I was just blessed with an inordinate amount of common sense. I'm really good at dealing with people and avoiding controversy when I need to IRL...which also makes me very good at pushing just about any button on any person that I feel like needling (testing the limits of random drunk people is hilarious)...

If I cared about my reputation on this site, I wouldn't share these stories, because I realize many of you have convictions, morals, and all of that good stuff...

But really, I don't. I like to demean women with low self-esteem. I like to make fun of dudes who are total d-bags. I can't help the fact I love being the center of attention, and that I was blessed with the ability to manipulate others into acting like total idiots, thus making me look intelligent in real life.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 10:03 AM

and that's why Emily was so cool...

I promise next time I see her (and we'll both be drunk because sober Emily and I have never hung out since our restaurant went under) I will let her read this thread and I guarantee she will just reply with..."ridiculous."

She knows how I am...she was the beneficiary of all my stories Saturday mornings when I stumbled into work after I night of dumbassery back in the day.

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 10:03 AM

Well here, let me be honest with you...

I've never once claimed to be intelligent, book smart, or anything like that...

I was just blessed with an inordinate amount of common sense. I'm really good at dealing with people and avoiding controversy when I need to IRL...which also makes me very good at pushing just about any button on any person that I feel like needling (testing the limits of random drunk people is hilarious)...

If I cared about my reputation on this site, I wouldn't share these stories, because I realize many of you have convictions, morals, and all of that good stuff...

But really, I don't. I like to demean women with low self-esteem. I like to make fun of dudes who are total d-bags. I can't help the fact I love being the center of attention, and that I was blessed with the ability to manipulate others into acting like total idiots, thus making me look intelligent in real life.

God, I admire you...............

http://uk.geocities.com/imfletcher73/poon.gif

Gonzo

04-07-2009, 10:04 AM

Well here, let me be honest with you...

I've never once claimed to be intelligent, book smart, or anything like that...

I was just blessed with an inordinate amount of common sense. I'm really good at dealing with people and avoiding controversy when I need to IRL...which also makes me very good at pushing just about any button on any person that I feel like needling (testing the limits of random drunk people is hilarious)...

If I cared about my reputation on this site, I wouldn't share these stories, because I realize many of you have convictions, morals, and all of that good stuff...

But really, I don't. I like to demean women with low self-esteem. I like to make fun of dudes who are total d-bags. I can't help the fact I love being the center of attention, and that I was blessed with the ability to manipulate others into acting like total idiots, thus making me look intelligent in real life.

What a very, very Midnight_Vulture-esque attitude!
Congrats.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 10:06 AM

well at least I'm a Chiefs fan...

htismaqe

04-07-2009, 10:14 AM

Dude, I can throw a baseball 80 MPH and I'm a 50 in Halo.

Do you really think I need to prove anything? Those two stats alone obviously make me, not only a man, but THE man.

ROFL

Hootie

04-07-2009, 10:16 AM

I can also eat the blazing sauce at BW3...I want to die afterwards, but that's pretty manly if you ask me.

Mr. Plow

04-07-2009, 10:21 AM

I thought this was the best line in the thread........

If it doesn't bother my mom that her underachieving 23 year old son is a drunk delinquent, it doesn't bother me!

Until I read this.....

Dude, I can throw a baseball 80 MPH and I'm a 50 in Halo.

Do you really think I need to prove anything? Those two stats alone obviously make me, not only a man, but THE man.

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

htismaqe

04-07-2009, 10:32 AM

I thought this was the best line in the thread........

Until I read this.....

Exactly what I thought.

Mr. Flopnuts

04-07-2009, 10:50 AM

Say whatever you want about Hootie. The dude keeps it real.

ChiTown

04-07-2009, 10:51 AM

Say whatever you want about Hootie. The dude keeps it real.

ROFL

Hammock Parties

04-07-2009, 10:53 AM

God, this thread is absolute proof that Hootie is a legend.

God bless. Someday we'll be blood brothers.

seclark

04-07-2009, 10:53 AM

God, this thread is absolute proof that Hootie is a legend.

God bless. Someday we'll be blood brothers.

just make sure it's his blood, and not some drunken skanks.
sec

Donger

04-07-2009, 10:57 AM

I remember the first time I cut off someone's head.

Bowser

04-07-2009, 11:14 AM

This thread is chock full of win.

I remember the first time I cut off someone's head.

Those little green army men, or was it your Star Trek action figures that came with the Transporter Room? You used to rip Bones' head off, didn't you?

Donger

04-07-2009, 11:16 AM

This thread is chock full of win.

Those little green army men, or was it your Star Trek action figures that came with the Transporter Room? You used to rip Bones' head off, didn't you?

I wasn't allowed to play with toys.

burt

04-07-2009, 11:16 AM

God, this thread is absolute proof that Hootie is a legend.

God bless. Someday we'll be blood brothers.

Cool Hootie, now Clalyton wants to blow you.....good job.:shake:

htismaqe

04-07-2009, 11:18 AM

You used to rip Bones' head off, didn't you?

Before or after he had sex with him?

Hootie

04-07-2009, 11:40 AM

Cool Hootie, now Clalyton wants to blow you.....good job.:shake:

Goal accomplished.

Hammock Parties

04-07-2009, 11:43 AM

If anyone in this world can get me laid, it's Hootie.

Buehler445

04-07-2009, 12:14 PM

:spock:

I was just blessed with an inordinate amount of common sense.

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

Not showing up for 3 separate fucking court dates is not what I would qualify as common sense.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 12:23 PM

:spock:

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH

Not showing up for 3 separate ****ing court dates is not what I would qualify as common sense.
and I got in a whole bunch of trouble for it, too :rolleyes:

The reason I didn't pay the tickets was because everytime one expired I was suppose to get a warrant for my arrest, yet I kept getting more tickets and the previous ones were never brought up.

I figured they'd all go away...they didn't. My friend has about 90 parking tickets in Chicago and hasn't heard shit about them for three years.

Either way, once I paid the delinquent tickets they no longer cared...even though I ignored them for months. I promise if I get another one, I probably won't pay it until I absolutely have to...

It's like ducking out of town if you think you're going to jail. Chances are, if you didn't do anything horrendous, they won't come looking for you.

easymobee

04-07-2009, 01:02 PM

Don't play too loose with our tickets or always rely on the cops cutting you loose. Id hate to see you end up in jail and playing a very unwanted tasters version of vanilla or chocolate. actually that story would make a great thread.
Posted via Mobile Device

Buehler445

04-07-2009, 01:06 PM

and I got in a whole bunch of trouble for it, too :rolleyes:

The reason I didn't pay the tickets was because everytime one expired I was suppose to get a warrant for my arrest, yet I kept getting more tickets and the previous ones were never brought up.

I figured they'd all go away...they didn't. My friend has about 90 parking tickets in Chicago and hasn't heard shit about them for three years.

Either way, once I paid the delinquent tickets they no longer cared...even though I ignored them for months. I promise if I get another one, I probably won't pay it until I absolutely have to...

It's like ducking out of town if you think you're going to jail. Chances are, if you didn't do anything horrendous, they won't come looking for you.

Again. Not what I would qualify as common sense. It happened. It doesn't mean you're not stupid for doing it.

Let me reiterate: NOT PAYING TICKETS IS STUPID.
Posted via Mobile Device

burt

04-07-2009, 01:09 PM

Valiant

04-07-2009, 01:25 PM

All I envision is a trailer park apartment setting with the local OK Coral bar across the street (in the Ozarks). Sounds pretty redneckish to me.

Needs a tattoo parlor by it..

Buehler445

04-07-2009, 01:51 PM

Hey, maybe you stuck your fingers in a two day old creampie courtesy of dude number 3.

ROFL. Wow. Post of the year.
Posted via Mobile Device

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 02:32 PM

I don't know if the English language allows for any two more ironic phrases to be placed next to one another:

I like to demean women with low self-esteem. I like to make fun of dudes who are total d-bags.

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 02:34 PM

FWIW,

Having your parents bail you out because you're an irresponsible fucktard doesn't mean you have common sense, it means that you have shitty parents who never instilled a sense of discipline into you.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:15 PM

FWIW,

Having your parents bail you out because you're an irresponsible ****tard doesn't mean you have common sense, it means that you have shitty parents who never instilled a sense of discipline into you.

Well at least I'm responsible enough to know I couldn't take care of a pet...and don't proceed to allow it to shit all over my apartment complex without cleaning it up. At least I have that going for me...

Dave Lane

04-07-2009, 03:33 PM

Well you guys are no fun...this is my biggest accomplishment in the last...I don't know, three months!

Wow now that is a totally frightening thought... Really?

Dave Lane

04-07-2009, 03:36 PM

Well girl thread is about isn't much of a whore...I was her #5...#4 was a 2 minute thing...and she had been with a dude she met at ISU as a freshmen for the 2.5 years she was here prior to me (and that dude was a virgin before her)...

.

So YOU'RE the guy that believed that story. I always thought you were a urban legend!

Dave Lane

04-07-2009, 03:37 PM

I love it, the drunken whore at the bar that's almost a virgin ROFL ROFL :)

And he believed it!!!

SBK

04-07-2009, 03:37 PM

This thread has made me think. Maybe it's because I'm married now, maybe it's because I've been married for so long...

Whatever happened to honoring a woman? Setting out to nail someone else's girlfriend then getting online to brag about it AND talk about her smelly cooch. Pretty much the most low-class thing I've ever read on here.

sedated

04-07-2009, 03:43 PM

Whatever happened to honoring a woman?

You can't honor a woman who won't honor herself.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 03:44 PM

I missed this thread the first time around, but now it's pretty obvious why some women will think every guy is a jerk and one not acting like one is just playing it off.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:44 PM

Honoring women? What does that even mean?

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:46 PM

I love it, the drunken whore at the bar that's almost a virgin ROFL ROFL :)

And he believed it!!!

The funny thing is...

I don't really give a shit if the girl has been with 5 people, 6 people, or 400 people...

If I wasn't there 1st, then it really doesn't matter, does it?

Mecca

04-07-2009, 03:46 PM

Honoring women? What does that even mean?

Here lies the problem.....it's a respect thing...

In reality it's not a cool or funny story, it's a sad story that you think it's cool to do these types of things.

Katipan

04-07-2009, 03:46 PM

Honoring women? What does that even mean?
.
Here's to honor!
If you can't come in her come on her!

Katipan

04-07-2009, 03:47 PM

The funny thing is...

I don't really give a shit if the girl has been with 5 people, 6 people, or 400 people...

If I wasn't there 1st, then it really doesn't matter, does it?

I think theres probably a little bit of difference between being 2nd and 400th.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 03:48 PM

I can't wait for Hooties post about catching AIDS or how he thought he'd do this with some bitch who then stabbed him.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:51 PM

I think theres probably a little bit of difference between being 2nd and 400th.

Meh.

The point is, super slutty girls don't bother me...

I'm not the guy that gets mad at someone because they had sex with an X amount of people blah blah blah

I just don't care.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:53 PM

I can't wait for Hooties post about catching AIDS or how he thought he'd do this with some bitch who then stabbed him.

Well I'm not gay, and I don't do drugs...so at least I'm bettering my chances.

And I'm far too athletic to ever be stabbed.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 03:54 PM

Well I'm not gay, and I don't do drugs...so at least I'm bettering my chances.

And I'm far too athletic to ever be stabbed.

You think you have to be gay to get aids?

MOhillbilly

04-07-2009, 03:55 PM

And I'm far too athletic to ever be stabbed.
lol

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:55 PM

Here lies the problem.....it's a respect thing...

In reality it's not a cool or funny story, it's a sad story that you think it's cool to do these types of things.

Next point...

The last three girls I've had sex with are all still my friends and are all people I hang out with all of the time.

I highly doubt they find my disrespectful...they know how I am...they know when it all comes down to it I'm never serious, always joking around, and would go out of my way to help them out if they needed it.

There are some girls that I've been a total asshole to, had no interest in, and at the end of the night they won't leave me alone...and those are the girls that SHOULD be made fun of for hooking up with someone like me.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 03:56 PM

You think you have to be gay to get aids?

That's what the Catholic church taught me...

SBK

04-07-2009, 03:56 PM

Here lies the problem.....it's a respect thing...

In reality it's not a cool or funny story, it's a sad story that you think it's cool to do these types of things.

This.

I'm sure there's not a dad here who wouldn't hunt him down and beat the $hit out of him if they found out he did this to their little girl.

Lumpy

04-07-2009, 03:56 PM

Well I'm not gay, and I don't do drugs...so at least I'm bettering my chances.

And I'm far too athletic to ever be stabbed.

This statement must be true... because, afterall, only flabby ppl get stabbed. ROFL

Mecca

04-07-2009, 03:58 PM

Next point...

The last three girls I've had sex with are all still my friends and are all people I hang out with all of the time.

I highly doubt they find my disrespectful...they know how I am...they know when it all comes down to it I'm never serious, always joking around, and would go out of my way to help them out if they needed it.

There are some girls that I've been a total asshole to, had no interest in, and at the end of the night they won't leave me alone...and those are the girls that SHOULD be made fun of for hooking up with someone like me.

Then you you have friends that have no self respect for themselves whatsoever...just the same as the other girls you speak of.

You are obviously targeting these types because it's easy for you to "get over" on them, do you also bang fat chicks with low self esteem because it's easy? And then afterwards make fun of them?

MOhillbilly

04-07-2009, 04:00 PM

weak game. move on. sharks will get em all.

RNR

04-07-2009, 04:04 PM

Then you you have friends that have no self respect for themselves whatsoever...just the same as the other girls you speak of.

You are obviously targeting these types because it's easy for you to "get over" on them, do you also bang fat chicks with low self esteem because it's easy? And then afterwards make fun of them?

Smart money is if this twat has pulled anything at all it is fat chicks. What other type of girl would give this dump the time of day? Any girl with any self respect would see right through this idiot.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:06 PM

Smart money is if this twat has pulled anything at all it is fat chicks. What other type of girl would give this dump the time of day? Any girl with any self respect would see right through this idiot.

Pretty much, however something tells me he's now going to tell us about the fine ass he pulls.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:08 PM

This.

I'm sure there's not a dad here who wouldn't hunt him down and beat the $hit out of him if they found out he did this to their little girl.

God ROFL

I'd hate to be the father of any girl I see out at a bar...

If you don't think the majority of these girls are slutting it up, you're on crack rock.

Different times...girls were always taught having a lot of sex was slutty...now with all the liberating of these bitches, they are starting to strut their stuff just like the dudes...

Case in point...

Friday night I was hanging out at a party with a girl I dated a while back...she is back with her ex, but we're still really good friends...anyways, kind of a lame party, I'm on the porch with my ex and she's waiting for her two hot friends that she wants me to meet...they turn out to be ok.

Anyways, I'm pretty drunk so I'm in Rich mode, which means girls are either really going to like my sarcastic attitude, or resent me right away...the girl I'm with falls in the first category, which helps because she laughs when I'm in Rich mode so the two new girls kind of follow suit because I'm pretty sure they are both retarded...

Anyways, we venture from this girls party after the keg dries up and the weak as jello shots are gone...and go to my regular bar...both of these girls are 19 and 20...meaning they can't get in the bar unless I get them in...

So since my roommate is working the door, this is really not an obstacle.

+1 for me.

So since my other roommate is bartending, there is no way I'm paying for any drinks...meaning I can get everyone drinks and shots all night and act like I'm badass even though I have about $19 to my name...

+3 for me.

Then, there are about 15 girls that are there that I talk to on a consistent basis...so when these new girls see me flirting with them, they are like "whoa, this guy must be pretty cool!" This is not the case...however...

+19 for me.

So it's about 1:30 AM and I am pretty drunk, and one of the new girls (the lesser attractive one) is begging me to go back to her place for 'after hours'...and so I ask...'does that mean sex or what?' (because really, I don't give a shit either way...) To which she replies, 'yes.'

However, I didn't really feel like it because my ex wanted me to go back to her place with her friends and that sounded way more intriguing.

So I kind of ignored her request and went back to my ex's, who has a boyfriend, but proceeded to tell me she didn't like that I was talking to her friends and we proceeded to hook up.

Yes, every girl is a slut. You play girls off of one another and they get sluttier. It's crazy. It's insane.

Oh, and, I wake up the next morning, grab ex's laptop, time to check out Chiefs news and facebook...I have a facebook friend request from new girl, a facebook message (are you kidding me? How does she even know my last name?)...asking me to hang out with her the next day...

Of course ex sees this and we laugh, but she sees that some other girl really liked me and that immediately gets her jealous.

So, basically, I'm awesome...and mind games rule. And girls with boyfriends don't really care about their boyfriends apparently.

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 04:09 PM

Hootie is pretty much a personification of every stereotype that older generations hate about our generation.

RNR

04-07-2009, 04:09 PM

Pretty much, however something tells me he's now going to tell us about the fine ass he pulls.

:rolleyes: Yeah most likely

SBK

04-07-2009, 04:10 PM

You can't honor a woman who won't honor herself.

That's almost as dumb as what Hootie has been posting.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:11 PM

Then you you have friends that have no self respect for themselves whatsoever...just the same as the other girls you speak of.

You are obviously targeting these types because it's easy for you to "get over" on them, do you also bang fat chicks with low self esteem because it's easy? And then afterwards make fun of them?

The largest girl I've ever had sex with couldn't have weighed anymore than 150 lbs. or so...

I won't like, the girl I dated in high school was really popular with her friends and hot, so her slutty friends had no problem hooking up with me after we broke up years down the road.

Girls are more into status than anything else.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:12 PM

Why do all of Hooties post revolve around being drunk?

Being an alcoholic is not cool either.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:13 PM

Hootie is pretty much a personification of every stereotype that older generations hate about our generation.

I think we all know a person like him I do..and 99% of the time he makes me wanna strangle him.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:15 PM

Pretty much, however something tells me he's now going to tell us about the fine ass he pulls.

My roommate Andy, the dude that gets the plate smashed over his head in those videos I posted, gets any girl he wants no matter what. That's not a lie.

A lot of my girlfriends are those I used to work with, because my friend Steve and I used to play off of each other really well at work and everyone thought we were funny and that's one way to get girls.

RNR

04-07-2009, 04:15 PM

The largest girl I've ever had sex with couldn't have weighed anymore than 150 lbs. or so...

I won't like, the girl I dated in high school was really popular with her friends and hot, so her slutty friends had no problem hooking up with me after we broke up years down the road.

Girls are more into status than anything else.

ROFL A drunken shit for brains rates as status? Yep fat chicks like I thought.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:16 PM

Obviously if you smash plates over your head you can get any chick you want...

Do you guys target the retard demo?

unothadeal

04-07-2009, 04:17 PM

Anyways

Anyways

Anyways

Anyways,

Anyways,

.

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 04:17 PM

God ROFL

I'd hate to be the father of any girl I see out at a bar...

............
So, basically, I'm awesome...and mind games rule. And girls with boyfriends don't really care about their boyfriends apparently.

After running this through the Internet Douchebag Translator it spits out a result:

Hootie drank two bottles of Boone's Farm, puked on a 200 pounder, went home to jerk off, and fell asleep on a pile of Double Cheeseburger wrappers after being unable to finish while using the scrapings of a Jergen's bottle and his own tears as lube.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:17 PM

Hootie is pretty much a personification of every stereotype that older generations hate about our generation.

Really? I drink a lot with my friends, have sex with girls, and funny stories are usually the end result.

I feel bad for anyone that hasn't had a period of their lives dedicated to that.

I mean, cool if you want to find a girl and get married when you're 20...I'm simply in no rush to grow up. Talk to me when I'm 35.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:19 PM

You're taking it to a ridiculously stupid level if what you're saying is true...there's having fun and there's being a total douchebag because you think it's funny.

SBK

04-07-2009, 04:20 PM

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:20 PM

Obviously if you smash plates over your head you can get any chick you want...

Do you guys target the retard demo?

Haha.

When you're really drunk, stuff like that is funny. It's not the fact he was smashing plates over his head, it's the fact he was down to his boxers wearing boxing gloves and the entire apartment complex was witnessing it.

If you've seen some of the girls he's hooked up with in the last 6 months, as close to perfect 10's as you can get. His girlfriend is amazing, 27, and has two degrees.

Of course he's 24 and still has a semester to go for his bachelors, but that's not the point.

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 04:22 PM

Really? I drink a lot with my friends, have sex with girls, and funny stories are usually the end result.

I feel bad for anyone that hasn't had a period of their lives dedicated to that.

I mean, cool if you want to find a girl and get married when you're 20...I'm simply in no rush to grow up. Talk to me when I'm 35.

I have endless funny stories of stupid drunk shit with friends. There are numerous great stories, many of which involve bizarre and hilarious hookups.

I do not post those hoping for acceptance. I don't need or crave it. I'm sorry that the fracture of your 360 has caused you to so vociferously seek out some kind of acceptance since you can't currently get it in Team Doubles.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:22 PM

All I can think is where you live must be full of strange ass people if this is normal behaviour.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:24 PM

After running this through the Internet Douchebag Translator it spits out a result:

Hootie drank two bottles of Boone's Farm, puked on a 200 pounder, went home to jerk off, and fell asleep on a pile of Double Cheeseburger wrappers after being unable to finish while using the scrapings of a Jergen's bottle and his own tears as lube.

Dude, are you kidding me right now?

Is this coming from the guy who posted a photoshopped picture of himself with a totally ugly girl next to him?

And another one with a bag of dogshit next to his face?

Or did I read that thread wrong?

There is no doubt that you are a highly intelligent person...but I've read your threads, I know you like to drink (and throw drinks on girls)...don't be jealous that you can't live the party seen like me and my friends...and don't act like you wouldn't want to, you don't throw drinks on girls if you're not looking to go out and have fun...

One time when my two friends and I took a road trip to Kansas (two years ago for the Border Wars football game and the Chiefs/Raiders)...we set a goal for what we wanted to accomplish at Westport (I think that's what the bar scene is called?)...

1. Make out with a girl
2. Get slapped by a girl
3. Get a drink thrown on one of us by a girl
4. Hook up with a girl (being the hardest since we were staying 30 minutes away)

I accomplished 1, 2 and 3.

All with the same girl.

Those are accomplishments I enjoy achieving.

Buehler445

04-07-2009, 04:25 PM

I think we all know a person like him I do..and 99% of the time he makes me wanna strangle him.

You know, I don't think I do.

I know a few man whores. I know a lot of partiers, but I really don't think I know any Hooties.
Posted via Mobile Device

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:27 PM

I have endless funny stories of stupid drunk shit with friends. There are numerous great stories, many of which involve bizarre and hilarious hookups.

I do not post those hoping for acceptance. I don't need or crave it. I'm sorry that the fracture of your 360 has caused you to so vociferously seek out some kind of acceptance since you can't currently get it in Team Doubles.

First off, bringing the 360 into it...very low.

Secondly, I don't give a shit about acceptance on ChiefsPlanet.com.

If I did, I'd follow you and OTWP around giving you Rep and agreeing with your draft comments and telling you how awesome you are.

I post these threads because I think they are funny...obviously the majority of you think I am a sociopathic rapist who lives in a trailerpark...so I don't understand how this would be my way of craving acceptance from the ChiefsPlanet popular?

And as for team doubles, yeah, my TastyBiscuitBoy account is not only a 50, but I've played enough games of team doubles to be a general 50, and again, that is something that makes me borderline incredible.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:27 PM

You know, I don't think I do.

I know a few man whores. I know a lot of partiers, but I really don't think I know any Hooties.
Posted via Mobile Device

I know one who's pretty similar other than he's older...and his hair is falling out now and his life is basically a Jerry Springer episode at this point...

Oh and he's been to rehab and it didn't help.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:28 PM

You know, I don't think I do.

I know a few man whores. I know a lot of partiers, but I really don't think I know any Hooties.
Posted via Mobile Device

I'd love to tell the loitering hippie story from last week that resulted in a riot outside of my apartment that ended up in several rocks flying through my window, a few arrests, and an apology from the unibomber himself a few days later, but I wouldn't know where to start.

Mecca

04-07-2009, 04:29 PM

I'd love to tell the loitering hippie story from last week that resulted in a riot outside of my apartment that ended up in several rocks flying through my window, a few arrests, and an apology from the unibomber himself a few days later, but I wouldn't know where to start.

That sounds funnier than the one you told here...

Dave Lane

04-07-2009, 04:30 PM

.

Here's to honor!
If you can't come in her come on her!

Well at least its a plan...

Remind me if I meet Hootie some time to wear rubber gloves if we shake hands...

'Hamas' Jenkins

04-07-2009, 04:30 PM

There is no doubt that you are a highly intelligent person...but I've read your threads, I know you like to drink (and throw drinks on girls)...don't be jealous that you can't live the party seen like me and my friends...and don't act like you wouldn't want to, you don't throw drinks on girls if you're not looking to go out and have fun....

I do go out and have fun.

What I don't do is post about it while cold sober and act like it's an accomplishment.

You could probably add all the hookup stories of the last year on this site that people just came out about without provocation and I bet they would still be less than the number that you've "had" and posted about in the last two weeks.

Why is that?

Don't be angry if you display attention seeking behavior and don't get the kind of attention that you wanted. Most of us aren't alcoholic fratbags.

I'd bet that most of us here under 30 (like me) go out and have a good time on a regular basis. I don't think that we need to make up stories about hooking up with girls that we cannot prove in order to measure our e-cocks.

Hootie

04-07-2009, 04:35 PM

I do go out and have fun.

What I don't do is post about it while cold sober and act like it's an accomplishment.

You could probably add all the hookup stories of the last year on this site that people just came out about without provocation and I bet they would still be less than the number that you've "had" and posted about in the last two weeks.

Why is that?

Don't be angry if you display attention seeking behavior and don't get the kind of attention that you wanted. Most of us aren't alcoholic fratbags.

I'd bet that most of us here under 30 (like me) go out and have a good time on a regular basis. I don't think that we need to make up stories about hooking up with girls that we cannot prove in order to measure our e-cocks.

First off, every story I tell is true.

Secondly, I love being the center of attention. This is attention seeking behavior...that is how I am in real life, too.

My friend Steve, the guy that worked with me and the girl this thread is about, is friends with the girl still. They text from time to time, and facebook each other...

As I said earlier, Em-dawg blocked me from facebook because she knows this story would be on her wall the next day if she allowed me...I used to post ridiculous things on her wall when we dated that she would laugh at and delete the next day because they were extremely inappropriate.

Anyways, if this was a made up story, why would I post the following message on Steve's wall because I KNOW she'd see it, and I KNOW she'd find it ridiculous, and I KNOW they'd both laugh (she makes fun of me every time I see her about blocking me on facebook because she knows it bothers me I can't make fun of her pictures anymore...)

"so last night I had one goal...Pub Wednesday...I haven't done something in months and wanted to accomplish it...Andy doubted me but I put myself in the right place and it happened...so after I was booted (you should be putting this together by now)...I went back to Pub and Cody was at the door sitting there...my fingers did not smell pleasant...so as everyone was leaving we played the chocolate and vanilla game and upset a lot of people."

Also, I had to delete several posts on my wall from my friends about fish sticks and hooking up with buttsack because I didn't want other girls, who would be mad, to find out.