***OFFICIAL ROYALS VS YANKS - OPENING DAY GAME THREAD***

[eazyb81]

AH, that's better....

[Reaper16]

Asteriks = I'm posting here.

[eazyb81]

Ponson starting off brilliantly.....

[eazyb81]

Over under for Ponson's ERA today? I'll set it at 9.0

[Reaper16]

Ponson starting off brilliantly.....
Starting off predictably, you mean.

[eazyb81]

WTF? Callaspo you moron

[Reaper16]

That was, um, misplayed.

[eazyb81]

LOL. Jabba is already hurt.

[DeezNutz]

Over under for Ponson's ERA today? I'll set it at 9.0

Push.

5 in 5 is my prediction.

AC acting like he's never played 2B before...

[eazyb81]

God damn Ponson is fat. How can a pro athlete start off the season in such awful shape?

[DeezNutz]

Motherfucking Ponson and AC.

[VonneMarie]

THAT DUMB FUCKING FATASS!!!!!

[DeezNutz]

You have to field that. Are you kidding me?

[Reaper16]

Who didn't see this 1st inning coming?

Hillman and Moore and nobody else but them actually.

[DeezNutz]

Mike Dorn at 1B.

[DeezNutz]

40,000 there to open the new K, and there's ****ing Ponson. Brilliant.

[VonneMarie]

We haven't scored over two runs yet? LMAO

[Reaper16]

Mike Dorn at 1B.
Nah, its Mike Jacobs. That play was utterly Jacobean.

[Reaper16]

We haven't scored over two runs yet? LMAO
Best we can hope for is a tie now :(

[DeezNutz]

Mike Dorn at SS.

[Pablo]

Holy f*ck.

[DJ's left nut]

Who'da thunkit?

Sidney Ponson can't pitch and Mike Jacobs can't field. Wow!

Those that don't learn from the past....

[shakesthecat]

Come on Jacobs, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "olé" bullshit!

[VonneMarie]

And it begins...

[DeezNutz]

Let's play it off the hip some more!

[Reaper16]

You know how some of us were complaining about the Royals having the worst defensive infield in modern times?

This inning is why we were complaining.

[eazyb81]

Well my afternoon might be free after all.

[DeezNutz]

You know how some of us were complaining about the Royals having the worst defensive infield in modern times?

This inning is why we were complaining.

And this is an "improved" iteration, with Teahen in the OF.

[VonneMarie]

Best we can hope for is a tie now :(

And that is really sad... :shake:

[MIAdragon]

JFC 2-0 already!?

[Demonpenz]

well they swing the sticks so freaking well that it makes up for their gloves!

[VonneMarie]

Um, that was a strike.

[WilliamTheIrish]

No sense wasting the pen. I'd let Pontoon pitch until he was thin.

[VonneMarie]

No sense wasting the pen. I'd let Pontoon pitch until he was thin.

LMAO ROFL

[Pablo]

well they swing the sticks so freaking well that it makes up for their gloves!lol.

[DeezNutz]

Well that was a crisp top half.

Fat 0-2. Walk. 3 defensive fuck ups.

And down 2 runs.

[T-post Tom]

Mike Dorn at 1B.

Zack Greinke: You put snot on the ball?
Sidney Ponson: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

[kcfanXIII]

maybe we should rename the thread, the death of hope.

[Demonpenz]

Next year!

[VonneMarie]

FUCK

[DeezNutz]

Nice play.

[MIAdragon]

Crisp's swing looks good

[VonneMarie]

Well this game is off to a great start!

[MIAdragon]

Jacobs goes yard today

[Reaper16]

Jacobs goes yard today
Final Score:

NYY 7

KC1

[Demonpenz]

I am glad arod isn't in there. It seems like whenenver espn shows highlights of him all his HR's are off the royals

[DeezNutz]

I like how Ponson gets on top of batters. This is a really helpful approach.

Motherfucker.

[MIAdragon]

Ponson has some good life on his FB

[Demonpenz]

can someone give some play by play on what happens? **** IT doesn't really fill me in much

[DeezNutz]

Jeter clearly nervous.

[MIAdragon]

Jeter clearly nervous.

cant stand that fugger

[DeezNutz]

Ponson with a scoreless second.

[Reaper16]

That was a nice pitch to end the inning, actually.

[MIAdragon]

not bad

[MIAdragon]

can someone give some play by play on what happens? **** IT doesn't really fill me in much

IDK if you're at work but IIRC you can watch it for free on MLBTV

[shakesthecat]

Ponson hasn't been that bad. Very good movement, and is usually around the plate.

With a little defense....:cuss:

[DeezNutz]

Ponson hasn't been that bad. Very good movement, and is usually around the plate.

With a little defense....:cuss:

Should be a scoreless game. This is true.

[eazyb81]

Ponson hasn't been that bad. Very good movement, and is usually around the plate.

With a little defense....:cuss:

I'm not going to hate on Aviles for that play, that was tougher than it looked.

[DeezNutz]

I'm not going to hate on Aviles for that play, that was tougher than it looked.

No harm, no foul on that play. Jacobs, on the other hand, needs to be kicked in the man sack.

[KCCHIEFS27]

I'm not going to hate on Aviles for that play, that was tougher than it looked.

Jeter would have made that play..

[duncan_idaho]

IDK if you're at work but IIRC you can watch it for free on MLBTV

game is blacked out - and you have to pay for that service, anyway.

[Jenson71]

We really need some help on offense. Hits, I mean.

[Reaper16]

Jeter would have made that play..
Jeter is one of the few starting SS in the majors that plays defense as poorly as Aviles.

[DeezNutz]

Time for Jacobs to make amends.

[Jenson71]

Jack one out please, sir. Do not strke out.

[Jenson71]

Yeahahahhaahahaha

[Reaper16]

lol Swisher Sweets

[DeezNutz]

Time for Jacobs to make amends.

Jacobs flashing massive power.

[MIAdragon]

LMAO eat it yankee scum

[eazyb81]

We are awful at making contact.

[Reaper16]

God, Olivo. You really want a homer, eh?

[DeezNutz]

Shocked that Butterball was running hard off the bat.

[Demonpenz]

what happened

[Reaper16]

Jacobs flashing massive power.
He broke his bat on that; it was actually a small flashing of power.

[DeezNutz]

We might take more embarrassing swings than any club in the league.

[DeezNutz]

what happened

Swisher, playing RF, lost Jacob's pop fly in the sun. Butterball scored.

[Deberg_1990]

We might take more embarrassing swings than any club in the league.

Sietzer is really making a difference!

[eazyb81]

We might take more embarrassing swings than any club in the league.

sometimes it looks like we're playing wiffleball.

[Reaper16]

what happened
Jacobs hit a broken bat fly ball to the infield, but Nick Swisher can't play defense so he didn't catch it. Butler went first to third on the play, but Swisher decided to throw it home for some reason. The ball went somewhere far away from home and Billy scored.

[Reaper16]

Sietzer is really making a difference!
It does seem that he is. You can tell, on the whole, I think. We've gotten a lot of men on base in the 1st three games.

[Demonpenz]

billay!

[Jenson71]

It does seem that he is. You can tell, on the whole, I think. We've gotten a lot of men on base in the 1st three games.

DeBerg's just pissing all over things again.

[DeezNutz]

It does seem that he is. You can tell, on the whole, I think. We've gotten a lot of men on base in the 1st three games.

On the whole, yes.

[DeezNutz]

Now, AC, if you have a chance to take the lead runner, actually do it.

[MIAdragon]

where the hell did that miss?

[Jenson71]

please DP

[Blankey]

Great now we have to beat the umps too

[Reaper16]

where the hell did that miss?
This ump needs to take a few beta carotene supplements.

[Demonpenz]

lol espn game cast has ponson in his yankee uniform still

[DeezNutz]

When The Fever starts bitching, it's usually a pretty good indicator of a fucking.

[WilliamTheIrish]

I can't remember who said it: Bill James maybe. "The Royals walk less than Stephen Hawking".

[Reaper16]

Ponson is the very paragon of control.

[shakesthecat]

The home plate ump is turrble

[WoodDraw]

Everyone should pull up Gameday so you can see just how awful this ump is.

[eazyb81]

Ponson is cruising!!!!

[DeezNutz]

I hate it how Crisp has professional AB after professional AB.

[DeezNutz]

And Aviles is first pitch swinging on the breaking ball...

[Jenson71]

WE NEED FUCKING RUNS WE NEED MOTHERFUCKING RUNS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE fuck

[Jenson71]

nooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

[Nzoner]

The home plate ump is turrble

this

[Jenson71]

Cano singled, then Swisher walloped a beauty in the gap to score Cano from first.

[eazyb81]

"Better get comfortable fatty, you're staying in for at least another hour or two."

[Mama Hip Rockets]

Ponson is cruising!!!!

shut your dirty mouth.

[Crush]

motherfucker

[DeezNutz]

Terrible fucking decision. He was already going back to the bag and AC was sleeping.

[Jenson71]

Damn@!!!

[Jenson71]

Toughen up bitches and end this with no more injury.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

LOL aviles REALLY doesn't want that guy on second base.

[Crush]

Suck it up Ponson! :cuss:

[Jenson71]

Can we score 5 runs?

[Reaper16]

Push.

5 in 5 is my prediction.

Good job. He's on pace for just that.

[Crush]

The offense needs to step it up or everyone is getting castrated!

[Crush]

Can we score 5 runs?


So far, it will be a miracle if we can score 2.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

i am trying to decide if i want ponson to succeed so the royals can win, or fail so that the royals will cut him.

[Basileus777]

2 away.

[Crush]

Teahen sucks ass.

[Jenson71]

:deevee:

[Mama Hip Rockets]

CAN WE GET A BASERUNNER PLEASE

[Deberg_1990]

i am trying to decide if i want ponson to succeed so the royals can win, or fail so that the royals will cut him.

Hes actually doing ok for a #4 starter. The offense looks likes its going to be a major problem once again this year....sigh...

[Mama Hip Rockets]

Hes actually doing ok for a #4 starter. The offense looks likes its going to be a major problem once again this year....sigh...

4 runs in 4 innings is not ok.

[Basileus777]

Ponson is awesome.

[Jenson71]

Hes actually doing ok for a #4 starter. The offense looks likes its going to be a major problem once again this year....sigh...

The Royals are so frustrating, that Deberg is going crazy and saying stuff (un)reasonably positive.

[Reaper16]

Hes actually doing ok for a #4 starter. The offense looks likes its going to be a major problem once again this year....sigh...
Its cold out, etc. You think the White Sox are going to stay as anemic on the offense as they were during the Royals series?

And no, Ponson is not doing ok. He's doing poorly.

[Jenson71]

Everyone was afraid of Ponson. I thought he would have given up 12 runs in the first two innings.

I still don't want him though.

[eazyb81]

Everyone was afraid of Ponson. I thought he would have given up 12 runs in the first two innings.

Dude, his ERA is just a shade under 9. He's not exactly tearing it up.

Still, we don't have any better options, which is sad.

[Deberg_1990]

And no, Ponson is not doing ok. He's doing poorly.

In todays game, you cant expect much out of 4th and 5th starters. On most teams they are average or garbage.

This is when a good teams offense must step up.

[VonneMarie]

Yeah, Ponson sucks.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

ponson is so fucking fat. jeez.

[VonneMarie]

Swisher almost broke his ankles swinging at that. LMAO

[Mama Hip Rockets]

did ponson just strike out the side?

[Jenson71]

*deep sigh of relief*

[eazyb81]

So, we could start scoring some runs any time now........

[Jenson71]

did ponson just strike out the side?

LOL, yeah other than the hit and walk. Consistently inconsistent.

[VonneMarie]

Let the runs start pouring in any time now.

[Crush]

Dear baseball gods,

Is it too much to ask for some offense?

Sincerely,
Crush

[Jenson71]

So, we could start scoring some runs any time now........

Yeah!!! We need more than one hit. Good start!

[Mama Hip Rockets]

A HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jenson71]

Butler's first hit of the year!

[Jenson71]

I got good feelings about this inning, gentlemen. Good feelings!!!

[Mama Hip Rockets]

nice hit, ass clown.

[Jenson71]

Still good feelings, they are still there.

[VonneMarie]

Jacobs suck.

[Jenson71]

Crush this Olivio cmon now.

[duncan_idaho]

Don't like the trouble he keeps getting into, but Ponson's 2-seamer really is showing great movement. Velocity has been consistent, too, right around 91.

If he can command both sides of the plate with that pitch, Ponson might stick in the rotation (at least longer than I expected).

[Jenson71]

Keep your head in there Olivio lets go

[VonneMarie]

How did the Yankmees score their other two runs?

[Jenson71]

cmonn cmon cmon fuck

[Blankey]

How many 0-2, 1-2 counts has Petitte had?

[eazyb81]

Nice to see Hillman having so much fun......

[Mama Hip Rockets]

way to do something with the leadoff double, boys.

[Jenson71]

:banghead:

[Crush]

This offense is pathetic.

[DeezNutz]

Good thing we did the small things, like move the runner over after the lead-off fucking double.

Have a feeling that Jacobs is going to make a case to be named my least favorite Royal by the end of the season.

[Delano]

How many 0-2, 1-2 counts has Petitte had?

Eight out of the 18 Royals at-bats have gone 0-2 or 1-2.

[SPATCH]

Dear baseball gods,

Is it too much to ask for some offense?

Sincerely,
Crush

you have angered the baseball gods, yea.

[DeezNutz]

If Ponson goes 6 and only gives up 4, which should really be 2 if Jacobs could play a decent 1B, you'd have to call this a success.

[Crush]

The entire coaching staff needs to be shitcanned. This is flusterating.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

nice play by jacobs.

if only he could hit. and groom himself.

[Mr. Krab]

Well i see that our offense is still pussified in a major way.

[Reaper16]

If Ponson goes 6 and only gives up 4, which should really be 2 if Jacobs could play a decent 1B, you'd have to call this a success.
I agree.

[Basileus777]

Ugh.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

6-pitch inning by ponson!

[DeezNutz]

Ok. Wow.

Now score some runs you ****ing pieces of shit.

[Jenson71]

Good stuff there. Please score runs. I will do anything. Just score runs.

[Reaper16]

The entire coaching staff needs to be shitcanned. This is flusterating.
You don't have the temperament to be a baseball fan.

[Delano]

If Ponson goes 6 and only gives up 4, which should really be 2 if Jacobs could play a decent 1B, you'd have to call this a success.

He's got 100+ pitches right now (how the hell did he get away with 45 balls?). Now is the time he'll hit the wall and give up three runs.

[Jenson71]

Start us off Crisp. Please get the bats going.

[Mr. Krab]

You don't have the temperament to be a baseball fan.
Wow, the true fan maneuver in baseball. :clap:

[Reaper16]

Wow, the true fan maneuver in baseball. :clap:
You're a dolt and I hate you. How could anyone agree with the statement that the whole coaching staff needs to be fired? How does that make any sense?

[irishjayhawk]

Ok. Wow.

Now score some runs you ****ing pieces of shit.

Good stuff there. Please score runs. I will do anything. Just score runs.

These.

[Jenson71]

Okay now Crisp start us going -- Petite is old and dying and falling apart. Be patient.

[Reaper16]

Petite has always pitched well against us. That game last year where he gave up liek 9 or 10 runs in a no-decision is like the only game I can think of where he didn't just baffle our bats.

[Jenson71]

Aviles - our player of the year! He will start us off! Never doubt the great Aviles!

[DeezNutz]

Our offense is like trying to fuck with a limp dick.

[Crush]

You're a dolt and I hate you. How could anyone agree with the statement that the whole coaching staff needs to be fired? How does that make any sense?


Calm down, friend, it was my poor attempt at a joke.

[Jenson71]

I knew it!! Never doubt the great Aviles!! We're picking it up now boys!!

[Mr. Krab]

You're a dolt and I hate you. How could anyone agree with the statement that the whole coaching staff needs to be fired? How does that make any sense?
ROFL





Who said i agreed the whole coaching staff needed to be fired?

[Reaper16]

DeJesus has been chasing that pitch all day.

[DeezNutz]

Wake up!

[Crush]

That was close.

[teedubya]

Is Jose Lima available? I don't like this Ponson Assclown.

[Jenson71]

Aviles you little devil you. Way to keep them on their toes, Aviles. You are a pure player, brother. DeJesus is the eternal hitter now. He will bring you around.

[DeezNutz]

Jenson using the "kids' gloves" approach...

[Mr. Krab]

Is Jose Lima available? I don't like this Ponson Assclown.
what 4 runs in 6 innings isn't good enough? It's not his fault(or the coaches) that our bats are pink.

[Reaper16]

ROFL





Who said i agreed the whole coaching staff needed to be fired?
Well you called me a true fan for disagreeing that the coaching staff needed to be fired. If that was an illogical inference, then my bad.

[Jenson71]

DeJesus, the Jesus of the Royals

[Reaper16]

DeJesus has looked like Angel Berroa today at the plate.

[DeezNutz]

I'd like to box his ears and get that stupid fucking grin off his face.

[Mr. Krab]

Well you called me a true fan for disagreeing that the coaching staff needed to be fired. If that was an illogical inference, then my bad.
no, i just said you pulled the "true fan" card on crush.



relax, i was just yanking your chain.

[Jenson71]

Ah, how fitting DeJesus is rocked on Good Friday. That's okay, he WILL RISE AGAIN!!!

[Crush]

I have a feeling that we are looking for a lake that is not even there.

[duncan_idaho]

You're a dolt and I hate you. How could anyone agree with the statement that the whole coaching staff needs to be fired? How does that make any sense?

It doesn't make any sense.

The bats haven't come to life yet, but it is early and cold. The approach at the plate has been MUCH better (Good work by Seitzer, I am impressed).

Hillman made a mistake with Farnsworth on Monday (should have gone to Mahay vs. Thome), but he handled the pen well the past two days).

Execution is on the players at some point.

[Mr. Krab]

Man, if we can't win any game if the opp scores more than 2 runs, we are in for a long year. :(

[Jenson71]

Good eyes, Teahen babe, good eyes

[Jenson71]

GET OUT

[Jenson71]

theres still time...

[VonneMarie]

The Royals are really irking me today. From top to bottom.

[Crush]

That was painful to watch.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

why isn't mark teahen awesome in real games?

[kcfanXIII]

a-10 fly over, sorry its late

http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk96/kcfanxiii/flyover.jpg

[Jenson71]

FARNSSWORRLTTHTH!!!!???????????

[Delano]

Ponson. FTL

[Crush]

why isn't mark teahen awesome in real games?


The baseball gods are yanking our chains.

[VonneMarie]

Oh God no!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DeezNutz]

why isn't mark teahen awesome in real games?

We just haven't seen him in his optimal environment. No one on, bottom of the 8th, and down 7.

He bats .758 in these situations with 28 career home runs.

[Jenson71]

Okay Farnsworth, it's redemption time. Prove everyone wrong Farnsworth! Nice start!

[SPATCH]

Is Jose Lima available? I don't like this Ponson Assclown.

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMA TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME

[DeezNutz]

What's our 8th inning specialist doing in the 7th?!?

[Jenson71]

No way to go but up, Farnsworth. BEAUTIFUL!!

[Jenson71]

Farnsworth is hot!!! Hot like a fresh Krispy Kreme!

[Mr. Arrowhead]

To be honest Ponson did alot better than i thought, you just have to score more than 1 run against the yankees to have any chance

[kcfanXIII]

What's our 8th inning specialist doing in the 7th?!?

demotion?

[Reaper16]

This is the role Farnsworth should play on the team.

[VonneMarie]

Olivo has a donk.

[Delano]

Texeira has two BBs. Were they not pitching to him earlier?

[Mama Hip Rockets]

WTF is going on here?

oh yeah, the game is not on the line, so farnsworth will be okay today.

[Mr. Krab]

why isn't mark teahen awesome in real games?They are suffer from major chokeage because they have been losers for so long. Prolly.

[teedubya]

With that out, Farnsworth lowered his ERA to 20.25... sweet... OOOOo another out. down to 16.20 now!!

[DeezNutz]

Shockingly!!!! Farnsworth looks pretty good in...brace yourselves...the role we all thought he should fill.

[Mecca]

I wonder if the Royals will set an all time record for least runs scored.

[Jenson71]

Farnsworth is ON FIRE like Barkley in NBA JAM

[Mr. Krab]

Maybe in Farnsworth hits every Yankmee player so hard it breaks a bone then they won't be able to field a team in the 8th and 9th and we'll win. :D

[Mecca]

Olivo has a donk.

Are you making a penis reference?

[Reaper16]

I wonder if the Royals will set an all time record for least runs scored.
No. They'll score more runs than they did last year.

[DeezNutz]

Ok. Stretch time at the new K.

Followed up by offensive fireworks.

[VonneMarie]

Way to go Farnsy.

[Jenson71]

FARNSWORTH YOU CRAZY BASTARD!!

[Mr. Krab]

3 up, 3 down. Strikes out the side

Farnsworth = Cy Young!!!!

[Mama Hip Rockets]

ponson and farnsworth have combined for 6 strikeouts in the last 2 innings.

[Delano]

I wonder if the Royals will set an all time record for least runs scored.

Chiefs with the least sacks and Royals with the least runs. Awesome.

[Crush]

Good job, Farnsworth.

[Jenson71]

Gordon, Butler, Jacobs -- I SEE IN A TIED GAME IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES URRBODY!!

[VonneMarie]

Are you making a penis reference?

No, he has a big booty. Me likey. ;)

[Mr. Krab]

Gordon tries the leadoff bunt. :shake:


pathetic

[Jenson71]

Gordon you are like a 2009 Tris Speaker. Except better.

[Crush]

Gordon, Butler, Jacobs -- I SEE IN A TIED GAME IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES URRBODY!!


Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[DeezNutz]

Vintage Gordon.

[Reaper16]

What is it about that pitch today that has everybody chasing it?

[SPATCH]

Way to go Farnsy.

hillman's insistence on adding an "ee" sound to everyone's name has reached hilarity

[Mr. Krab]

No, he has a big booty. Me likey. ;)
So you are saying that you would "pee in his butt"?

[Reaper16]

Vintage Gordon.
/Michael Cole

[Jenson71]

BILLLAAAHHHAYYY

[Jenson71]

Billy let the ball hit your gut so we can get baserunners. Just stop sucking in.

[DeezNutz]

Petite is fucking 47 and we're making him look like a Cy Young candidate.

[DeezNutz]

You popped it up, Billlllaay.

[Mama Hip Rockets]

this offense is truly pathetic.

[Jenson71]

Jacobs, our greatest hope!!!

[VonneMarie]

So you are saying that you would "pee in his butt"?
If I could I would and this game is ova!

[DeezNutz]

Jacobs patiently awaits his opportunity to strike out.

[Jenson71]

When I see Jacobs, I think a young, stronger Eddie Murray.