Oxymorons... post your favorites

[JOhn]

I was talking to a friend today and we got to talking about strange stuff, oxymorons and just wierd life questions...

Why does hawai have an interstate system?

Why is there Brail lettering on the drive up ATM?

or my favorite oxymorons.....

Pygmy Mammoth
Intricate Simplicity
Empty Load
Mandatory Option

or Oxymoronic Quotes.......

I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again.
Change is the only Constant.

[crazycoffey]

military intelligence

[KcKing]

Dammit Scott

[ForeverChiefs58]

you park on a driveway, and drive on a parkway

[Simply Red]

fresh-frozen

[Simply Red]

great taste, less filling

[KcKing]

Evaporated Milk...

[JOhn]

WHY DO THEY STERILIZE THE NEEDLES FOR LETHAL INJECTION?

[rad]

Organized chaos

[ForeverChiefs58]

In springfield I once saw a street crossing sign that said crossing for the blind. I always pictured a blind guy walking by going "oh, here is where they put that f@#$ crossing at! I've been looking everywhere for it!"
Here in florida they have a sign for bear crossing, but I have never seen any that use it.

["Bob" Dobbs]

How does a blind person know when they're done wiping their ass?

[JOhn]

Click the 'Start' button to Shut Down the computer.

[KCChiefsMan]

How does a blind person know when they're done wiping their ass?

smell. taste. touch.

["Bob" Dobbs]

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

[Reaper16]

military intelligence
"Two words combined that can't make sense. Possibly, I see too much. Hangar 18, I know too much." :rockon:

[ForeverChiefs58]

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?


better yet, what would your ass look like?

[ForeverChiefs58]

a woman who wants to be your best friend, yet hates it when you refer to her as a female dog when everybody knows a dog is a man's best friend....just doesn't make sense.

[stlchiefs]

Caffeine Free Mountain Dew

[JOhn]

Wireless Cable :shrug:

["Bob" Dobbs]

jumbo shrimp

[JOhn]

Always be on the lookout for the obvious.


Always remember you're unique .. just like everyone else!

[Crush]

This prescription medication will help you control your (insert the name of any disorder).

Possible side effects include diarrhea, smelly taint, loss of hair, runny nose, bloody nose, unsafe drop in blood pressure, an erection lasting for more than four hours, nausea, excessive vomiting, weak and/or inconsistent urination, blood in urine, blood in feces, blurred vision, severe muscle pain, itchy eyes...

[KCChiefsMan]

skinny broad
pretty ugly
damaged goods
christian scientists
rap music

[Pioli Zombie]

I always loved those road signs that say SLOW CHILD.
When I was little I thought it was pretty mean to humiliate the poor kid like that.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Pioli Zombie]

This prescription medication will help you control your (insert the name of any disorder).

Possible side effects include diarrhea, smelly taint, loss of hair, runny nose, bloody nose, unsafe drop in blood pressure, an erection lasting for more than four hours, nausea, excessive vomiting, weak and/or inconsistent urination, blood in urine, blood in feces, blurred vision, severe muscle pain, itchy eyes...

You know I never heard those types of commercials until after SNL did Happy Funball. I swear they are a joke.
Posted via Mobile Device

[beach tribe]

I'd give my left hand to be ambidextrous.

[The_Doctor10]

Jets Pro Bowl QB Brett Favre

[ILChief]

Sweet Tarts

[badgirl]

I always question why they have books that have advertisements about where to go learn to read. I mean how are you gonna read their advertisement if you can't read!!

[ping2000]

Restaurants that post signs (non-talking) that state "Braille menus available". How does a blind person read that sign? Also, braille on DRIVE THROUGH ATM machines.

[ForeverChiefs58]

Last week my computer went down with no service, I called customer service and she said next time I should use the customer service help online. How could I do that if I have no service?

[ForeverChiefs58]

I bought a bottle of superglue, on the back it says "Do not eat glue". Sucks cause I was a little hungry too.

[bevischief]

Online tech support for your computer...

[Mr. Plow]

Last week my computer went down with no service, I called customer service and she said next time I should use the customer service help online. How could I do that if I have no service?


Along the same lines.....

My internet went down a week ago. I called to get some help, I got a message that said "Get help from the web at www......"

[RippedmyFlesh]

Herm edwards Head Coach

[htismaqe]

Along the same lines.....

My internet went down a week ago. I called to get some help, I got a message that said "Get help from the web at www......"

I used to get about one call a week when I was in tech support from people who had tried to email us about the fact that they couldn't retrieve their email.

[htismaqe]

I used to snicker every time I saw a certain company's 18-wheeler on the interstate. The name of the company was Collective Distribution.

[Kerberos]

Oxymorons... post your favorites.

Hootie uses OxyClean?

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

World Champion Oakland Raiders/Denver Broncos

[greg63]

Microsoft Works.

[Dave Lane]

Head Coach Herm Edwards

[Dave Lane]

Herm edwards Head Coach

Damn it !!

[kcfanXIII]

actually, i think i more appropriate oxymoron regarding herm is:


herm edwards, football analyst. obviously from his record in kc, he doesn't analyze much.

[kaplin42]

Sending an email out about the email being down.


Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball ~ Lyrics from Champagne Super Nova by Oasis

[Garcia Bronco]

Civil War
Jumbo Shrimp
Cheap Date
Good Bad Guy (Think Darth Vader)

[greg63]

Icy Hot.

[Fritz88]

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

How would you go down the stairs if your butt cheeks were flipped 90 degrees?

[Fritz88]

men tities.

[RippedmyFlesh]

Damn it !!
for $64 which is the oxy and which is the moron?

[Stewie]

Good Grief

[cookster50]

intelligent chiefsplanet poster

[ClevelandBronco]

Restaurants that post signs (non-talking) that state "Braille menus available". How does a blind person read that sign? Also, braille on DRIVE THROUGH ATM machines.

And "ATM machines" when the "M" stands for "machine."

[ClevelandBronco]

It's like a VIN number. Or a PIN number...

[ClevelandBronco]

Hot water heater.

Why would you heat hot water?

[Hydrae]

For those from the Northeast - wicked good

[SDChiefs]

Country Music

[rad]

Draft grade

[talastan]

common sense

[Valiant]

Lets see..

[Rooster]

Hot water heater.

Why would you heat hot water?

This one is more of a pet peeve of mine. I just want to slap people who say hot water heater.

[ForeverChiefs58]

for the guys who have ex's:

a good woman or perfect woman

[Rain Man]

Cornerback William Bartee.

[Nightfyre]

fresh-frozen

Shit that was a good episode of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares.

[JOhn]

Fuzzy Logic

Growing Smaller

Minor Disaster

[Crush]

friendly fire

[Crush]

Defensive Guru Gunther Cunningham

[chasedude]

Controlled Chaos

[rad]

Controlled Chaos

Dude.


Post #9....

[Coach]

Combat Zone.

[kepp]

KU education

[greg63]

Quiet Riot

[greg63]

Random order

[JOhn]

Advanced BASIC :hmmm:




Amicable Divorce LMAO

[StcChief]

World Champion Royals.

[Mile High Mania]

Holy hell... typewriter... climb down... doing nothing... graduate student... junk food.

[milkman]

Sensible Chief.

[CanadaKC]

Military intelligence

[FAX]

Lone Ranger and Tonto

FAX

[FAX]

Touchdown, Kansas City.

FAX

[vailpass]

The two manhole covers outside of my children's school are labeled
"sanitary sewer".

[unothadeal]

"Could care less" pisses me off.

[Slainte]

Special teams genius Mike Stock.

[CoMoChief]

Practice makes perfect.

But no one is perfect so why practice?

[chasedude]

Dude.


Post #9....

I like the "ring" to Controlled Chaos better, sorry.