What'd you do over the holiday???

[MOhillbilly]

Went to the river,floated,fished,wrecked a 4-wheeler,drank and got up early Mon. morning to put a brew on my daddys grave. I had a blast.

You?

[keg in kc]

I didn't do a fucking thing but sit on my ass.

So it was pretty much like every other day.

[beach tribe]

Eat, Get hammered.

[Halfcan]

Moshed in the Pit at Offspring-totally kicked ass.

Worked then went to Warrensburgh to see my girl.

[Demonpenz]

I played in a basketball tourny, scanned some old ass pictures for my family on facebook to see, drank canadian blend Whiskey, ate food, spilled food on my cargo shorts because of too much canadian blend whiskey

[Arsonist]

:BLVD: and :bong:

[Katipan]

We walked a hella long loop on the bike trail. It was beautiful. Stopped to smoke by some dead fishies. :( Went to a car cruise. Got tipsy and loud at the bar for the fights. Played video games all Monday.

It was awesome.

[beach tribe]

Moshed in the Pit at Offspring-totally kicked ass.

Worked then went to Warrensburgh to see my girl.
Offspring is hard core.:rolleyes: You didn't knock any kids down did you?

I'll bet you're pretty fly for a white guy.

[beach tribe]

I actually went Marco Island. I'm burnt to the bones.

[Donger]

Hung my new Old Glory and explained to my kids why. Got together with a bunch of other guys and manscaped an old veteran neighbor's lawn. Old bastard complained that he didn't like the edging. Went up to Boulder and threw rocks at the hippy joggers. Hiked Devil's Head with the family and dog. Grilled bacon cheeseburgers during a f*cking deluge, covering the grill with a golf umbrella, while the kids and the wife laughed hysterically.

[Radar Chief]

Went camping and Jeeping, caught a ton of bass, killed a snake at 30 yards with a headshot from a Crossman pellet rifle. Drank, had fun, finished it off with a fried fish meal from all the bass we caught. Good weekend.

[beach tribe]

We walked a hella long loop on the bike trail. It was beautiful. Stopped to smoke by some dead fishies. :( Went to a car cruise. Got tipsy and loud at the bar for the fights. Played video games all Monday.

It was awesome.

A girl who likes Football, AND video games? God, my new GF is hot, and sweet, but WTF? I've had to separate myself from my last three GFs to watch football, or play video games(football games) I just thought that's the way it was.

[shitgoose]

Got into some poison ivy on Saturday and then sprained my ankle on Sunday playing basketball.

And I'm on the V-diet so I couldn't eat anything or drink any beer.

Not so fun weekend:mad:

[kysirsoze]

Worked. Every. Day.

[ChiTown]

Our pool opened, so we hung out a lot there. Went fishing Friday nite and my kids each caught a couple of bass, and a mess of Blue Gill. Watched WSU win the MVC Baseball Tourney at Eck Stadium on Sat Night. Took the kids to Star Trek (Sat. Afternoon). Went to the driving range and batting cages (Sunday Afternoon). Had some friends and their kids over Sunday nite for a BBQ. At the pool most of the day yesterday and came home and watched movies (again, with the kids).

Best weekend I've had in like................forever. The weather was fantastic.

[Katipan]

A girl who likes Football, AND video games? God, my new GF is hot, and sweet, but WTF? I've had to separate myself from my last three GFs to watch football, or play video games(football games) I just thought that's the way it was.

There's a trade off.

Ever lose a fighting or racing game to a girl?
How about one that's a sore winner?

:D

[HemiEd]

Went camping and Jeeping, caught a ton of bass, killed a snake at 30 yards with a headshot from a Crossman pellet rifle. Drank, had fun, finished it off with a fried fish meal from all the bass we caught. Good weekend.

You ate the bass?!?!:cuss: Catch and release, eat the catfish!:D

I played 18 holes of golf, four out of the last five days, and worked on the Barracuda the rest of the time.

Smoked a lot of meat yesterday, Turkey, Chicken, ribs and a bunch of wings. Consumed large amounts of Jack Daniels and MGD.

[Radar Chief]

You ate the bass?!?!:cuss: Catch and release, eat the catfish!:D

I caught a bass that was little over 4 lbs by fishing a small perch off the bottom. A catfish rig and I caught a large mouth with it.
I don’t think we hurt the bass population any. ;)

[Saulbadguy]

Nothing. It was awesome.

[Hammock Parties]

Had a date, spent the rest of the weekend pining for her.

[Saulbadguy]

Had a date, spent the rest of the weekend pining for her.

A failed date on a Friday night can often provide a weekends worth of good masturbatory material...so all is not lost.

[MOhillbilly]

There's a trade off.

Ever lose a fighting or racing game to a girl?


no.

[keg in kc]

There's a trade off.

Ever lose a fighting or racing game to a girl?
How about one that's a sore winner?Today's word is "Distraction".

("You think you're the shit, huh? We'll see how well you play with my dick in your mouth/my hand up your shorts")

Speaking of trade-offs, what about the whole "body like a 10 year old boy" part?

[seclark]

friends graduation party fri night.

sat: took great uncle to jeff city to meet his cousin. came home & changed a flat tire on the wifes car. worked on the bike.

sun: ushered at church w/my son. took the wife & daughter to lunch. the wife and i took the bike to 3 cemeteries and set flowers.

mon: had grandkids for the day. taught the grandson to knock on the door and holler "grandma!!!" then run & hide when she opens it up.

pretty good 3day.
sec

[Scaga]

Laid sod at the house! Finally, no more dirt/mud. :D
De-winterized the camper.
Got the Sea-Doo running, but never got to the lake.
Got hammered twice.
Ended the weekend by breaking my second little toe (no, alcohold wasn't involved)

[Hammock Parties]

A failed date on a Friday night can often provide a weekends worth of good masturbatory material...so all is not lost.

Actually it was a really really GOOD date...so I don't know what happened.

Maybe she met some dude with a 10-incher the next day.

[MOhillbilly]

friends graduation party fri night.

sat: took great uncle to jeff city to meet his cousin. came home & changed a flat tire on the wifes car. worked on the bike.

sun: ushered at church w/my son. took the wife & daughter to lunch. the wife and i took the bike to 3 cemeteries and set flowers.

mon: had grandkids for the day. taught the grandson to knock on the door and holler "grandma!!!" then run & hide when she opens it up.

pretty good 3day.
sec

jungle gym erected yet?

[keg in kc]

Maybe she met some dude with a 10-incher the next day.Wasn't me, I wasn't online most of the weekend.

[ChiefsOne]

Drove down to my mom's house on the lake in Arkansas. Ran over a raccoon and black snake, saw lots of buzzards eating road kill and quite a few deer. Why do buzzards work in groups of three?

Went out on the boat Saturday and watched my son ski, wake board and boogie board. Weather was perfect, upper 70s day lower 60s night!

Took the wrong road leaving the lake and drove about 25 miles with out seeing a town or a sign pointing towards one. Saw lots more animals and buzzards.

Went to see my 85 year old grandma before coming home and lounging the day off on Monday.

[seclark]

jungle gym erected yet?

f@ck no...i finally bailed. told my son i'd pay if he'd find someone to do it.
the swings are up...and a ladder and a slide. but there's probably 25 cedar planks and various hardware still laying in the back yard.

i'd like to find whoever it was that designed that clusterf@ck and jam those planks up their a$$.
sec

[Donger]

Had a date, spent the rest of the weekend pining for her.

Did you get in her pants?

[seclark]

Why do buzzards work in groups of three?


buzzard#1 watches one way.
buzzard#2 watches the other.
buzzard#3 eats

rotate and continue.
sec

[ChiTown]

i'd like to find whoever it was that designed that clusterf@ck and jam those planks up their a$$.
sec

ROFL

I feel your pain. That shit just pisses me off.

[keg in kc]

Did you get in her pants?He did.

Literally.

She came out of the bathroom and he was pulling a pair of her capris up one leg.

[Hammock Parties]

Did you get in her pants?

No.

[HemiEd]

I caught a bass that was little over 4 lbs by fishing a small perch off the bottom. A catfish rig and I caught a large mouth with it.
I don’t think we hurt the bass population any. ;)
That is a nice bass, lots of fun.

[BigRichard]

Went down to Arkansas with my motorcycle. Rode up some of the moutains. That was the best ride I have ever been on. Those roads are like your on a roller coaster. It is also awesome scenery.

[Donger]

No.

Why? Does she have a penis?

[Monty]

Painted the kitchen, took 3 short bike rides, smoked 2 racks of ribs on the new smoker, and finally had my first glass of my homebrew....quite tasty for my first try and I'm going to do some red ale next.

[Hammock Parties]

Why? Does she have a penis?

HTF should I know? I'm not a mind reader. Maybe she's not as slutty as I thought she was?

[tooge]

Golfed friday then drank beer after the round. Golfed saturday, then took the kids fishin and planted some peppers in the garden. Went for an epic bike ride sunday on country roads for some excercise. Took the kids for ice cream and bbq'd for dinner. Went farm pond fishin monday and caught about a dozen nice bass and quite a few huge bullfrogs.

[keg in kc]

HTF should I know? I'm not a mind reader. Maybe she's not as slutty as I thought she was?If you didn't get her pants, and you haven't talked to you since, it's possible she hasn't talked to you because you didn't get in her pants.

Did you actively pursue that end?

[Donger]

HTF should I know? I'm not a mind reader. Maybe she's not as slutty as I thought she was?

Or perhaps you aren't as slutty as you pretend to be.

[Hammock Parties]

If you didn't get her pants, and you haven't talked to you since, it's possible she hasn't talked to you because you didn't get in her pants.

Did you actively pursue that end?

I fucking kissed the girl. Hard. And went back for seconds. If she couldn't tell I wanted to shag her rotten she's more clueless than I.

[ChiTown]

If you didn't get her pants, and you haven't talked to you since, it's possible she hasn't talked to you because you didn't get in her pants.

Did you actively pursue that end?

I'm guessing Claythan's main problem is Lack of Game.

Two Words: Star Wars

OK?

[Dartgod]

Went to St. Loser
Watched the Royals get shut out again
Went to my nephew's graduation (WTF do they schedule these on a holiday weekend?)
Came home and de-winterized/cleaned my camper in preparation for a camping trip next week.

[Hammock Parties]

I'm guessing Claythan's main problem is Lack of Game.

Two Words: Star Wars

OK?

WTF does that have to do with anything? This girl was about as nerdy as they come. She likes Lord of the Rings and D&D for crying out loud.

Besides, Star Wars didn't come up.

[Donger]

I ****ing kissed the girl. Hard. And went back for seconds. If she couldn't tell I wanted to shag her rotten she's more clueless than I.

What did she do when you tried to kiss her again?

[Hammock Parties]

What did she do when you tried to kiss her again?

Submitted.

[ChiTown]

WTF does that have to do with anything? This girl was about as nerdy as they come. She likes Lord of the Rings and D&D for crying out loud.

Besides, Star Wars didn't come up.

Well, at least you're fishing in the right pond. However, it's clear, even nerdy chicks have standards.......

[Donger]

Submitted.

Do you know how to kiss (girls)?

[Hammock Parties]

Well, at least you're fishing in the right pond. However, it's clear, even nerdy chicks have standards.......

She asked me out, retard.

Go fuck yourself.

[Hammock Parties]

Do you know how to kiss (girls)?

Yes, it's not rocket science.

[MoreLemonPledge]

Worked. Every. Day.

This. Only every night.

[ChiTown]

She asked me out, retard.

Go **** yourself.

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

Did she see your picture?

[Hammock Parties]

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

Did she see your picture?

Several.

[Donger]

Yes, it's not rocket science.

I hope you controlled your tongue, and didn't go for the full-on stomach taste.

[Hammock Parties]

I hope you controlled your tongue, and didn't go for the full-on stomach taste.

Of course not. Jesus.

[ChiTown]

Yes, it's not rocket science.

Au Contraire.

An effective kiss can work the pants off quicker than you'd imagine.

[Hammock Parties]

Look, the fucking girl was INTO me. Halfway through the date, she asked me if I was married or had a girlfriend for crying out loud.

I dunno WTF happened. I guess it's possible the text didn't go through but I doubt it.

If she wants me she knows how to get in touch. I'm not gonna get all needy on her.

[DeezNutz]

I ****ing kissed the girl. Hard. And went back for seconds. If she couldn't tell I wanted to shag her rotten she's more clueless than I.

First, it's "me."

Second, when you throw a couple intercourse n00bs into the mix, kissing does not necessarily signal sex to either party involved.

[tooge]

but you are all needy

[keg in kc]

Did your hands roam at all during the kiss?

[DeezNutz]

When you kissed her, were you also feeling her up?

My tongue cannot function in this capacity without a hand on a breast.

[Donger]

Of course not. Jesus.

Just checking. I'm disappointed that you were cowardly, but I understand the trepidation.

[keg in kc]

When you kissed her, were you also feeling her up?

My tongue cannot function in this capacity without a hand on a breast.While it is no doubt stunning as far as moobs go, your own does not count.

[Saulbadguy]

Bullshit.

Next time grab her ass, or her tits, or whatever. Then keep going. You know where the boundary is set the moment she grabs your hand and moves it away. Then try again next date.

You know what you doing. Take off every zig.

[tooge]

dude, get it over with. call nerd girl up. tell her you had a great time and you want to go out again. If she digs you, you go do the deal. If not, so be it. What is with the mind game part? The "if she wants me she knows how to get ahold of me" thing is bs for a guy that doesn't even know what pussy smells like.

[Hammock Parties]

Did your hands roam at all during the kiss?

When you kissed her, were you also feeling her up?

My tongue cannot function in this capacity without a hand on a breast.

Jesus, no. We were standing in public OUTSIDE A STARBUCKS. I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass). It was a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.

[keg in kc]

Just checking. I'm disappointed that you were cowardly, but I understand the trepidation.You can't kiss her like she's your favorite (non west virginian) sister and then wonder why you didn't get out of the batter's box.

[Iowanian]

My grandpa died saturday morning so I did some family stuff, we took the kids fishing and cooked some hotdogs for a distraction, took a long day trip for a graduation and back for family stuff.

No extraordinary fun this year. My brother did get to come back for a couple of days before his deployment, so that is good.

[Hammock Parties]

dude, get it over with. call nerd girl up. tell her you had a great time and you want to go out again. If she digs you, you go do the deal. If not, so be it. What is with the mind game part? The "if she wants me she knows how to get ahold of me" thing is bs for a guy that doesn't even know what pussy smells like.

I TEXTED HER

[Donger]

Bullshit.

Next time grab her ass, or her tits, or whatever. Then keep going. You know where the boundary is set the moment she grabs your hand and moves it away. Then try again next date.

You know what you doing. Take off every zig.

For great justice.

[ChiTown]

When you kissed her, were you also feeling her up?

My tongue cannot function in this capacity without a hand on a breast.

I like to rub the ass while I'm doing the tongue dance. The breasts get my full attention, so my mouth can have some fun as well.

[KCChiefsMan]

I went to the grocery store, was gonna BBQ on the charcoal grill and bought some chicken. Got home, realized that I forgot to get charcoals for the grill...DOH. So I said fuck it and baked the chicken.

[Donger]

I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass)

Nice?

[DeezNutz]

While it is no doubt stunning as far as moobs go, your own does not count.

I never rub my own because my nipples chafe terribly. The drawback of having big hands.

[Saulbadguy]

Jesus, no. We were standing in public OUTSIDE A STARBUCKS. I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass). It was a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.

Ah - I missed that part.

Next time get her to a private place and attempt advanced maneuvers.

[keg in kc]

Jesus, no. We were standing in public OUTSIDE A STARBUCKS. I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass). It was a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.So you've referred to the girl as slutty, yet you kissed her chastely and didn't show even the barest amount of aggressive physical interest?

[MOhillbilly]

Jesus, no. We were standing in public OUTSIDE A STARBUCKS. I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass). It was a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.

FAIL! Do it anyway girls like that shit. nice guy equals last.

[Hammock Parties]

Nice?

I AM A PUSSY WHO CANNOT INITIATE MATING RITUALS

[tooge]

texting is too impersonal for a second date request if you ask me. It reeks of fear of rejection. You need to CALL her.

[keg in kc]

I never rub my own because my nipple chafe terribly. The drawback of having big hands.I've been fighting runner's nipple since the weather warmed up, so I feel your pain.

Well, not literally your pain. I'm not touching those things.

[Saulbadguy]

texting is too impersonal for a second date request if you ask me. It reeks of fear of rejection. You need to CALL her.

No one asked you, D-FENS.

[Hammock Parties]

So you've referred to the girl as slutty, yet you kissed her chastely and didn't show even the barest amount of aggressive physical interest?

Where did I say she was slutty? It wasn't really a chaste kiss, either. I didn't kiss her like I kiss my grandmother, for instance. You know? It was a "make-out" kiss.

[keg in kc]

texting is too impersonal for a second date request if you ask me. It reeks of fear of rejection. You need to CALL her.Knock on her door with a bottle of maddog and a box of magnums.

Worked in college, it should still work today. :harumph:

[DeezNutz]

Jesus, no. We were standing in public OUTSIDE A STARBUCKS. I'm far too nice of a guy to feel a girl up, unless she initiates something (like grabbing my ass). It was a goodbye kiss for crying out loud.

Yeah, it would be terrible to offend the Starbucks workers, especially as you were kissing her HARD.

[Donger]

I AM A PUSSY WHO CANNOT INITIATE MATING RITUALS

So it would seem.

[tooge]

I AM A PUSSY WHO CANNOT INITIATE MATING RITUALS

Try this in a british accent "Do I make you horney?"

[38yrsfan]

Went to the river,floated,fished,wrecked a 4-wheeler,drank and got up early Mon. morning to put a brew on my daddys grave. I had a blast.

You?

Paid respects to the missing and fallen.

Other than a bit of yardwork it was literally baseball, apple pie, hot dogs but no chevrolet, sorry ..... the only one we saw we had to help get unstuck :)

a nice holiday weekend

[ChiTown]

I AM A PUSSY WHO CANNOT INITIATE MATING RITUALS

JFC

This girl wants your blood sausage. For fuck's sake. Give it to her, bust your cherry and move on already

[keg in kc]

Where did I say she was slutty? It wasn't really a chaste kiss, either. I didn't kiss her like I kiss my grandmother, for instance. You know? It was a "make-out" kiss.A make-out kiss without tongue or roaming hands. Did you follow that stunning move by asking her up for some gogurt and a few minutes of sponge-bob?

[Hammock Parties]

texting is too impersonal for a second date request if you ask me. It reeks of fear of rejection. You need to CALL her.

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

[Hammock Parties]

A make-out kiss without tongue or roaming hands. Did you follow that stunning move by asking her up for some gogurt and a few minutes of sponge-bob?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU KISSED A GIRL, KEG?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

:mad:

[tooge]

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

Ugh, you need more work than I thought

[Donger]

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

J
F
C

Just give up. You've missed your window.

[DeezNutz]

Bullshit.

Next time grab her ass, or her tits, or whatever. Then keep going. You know where the boundary is set the moment she grabs your hand and moves it away. Then try again next date.

You know what you doing. Take off every zig.

But what happens if she doesn't make me stop?

That sounds scary.

[chief husker]

Let's see. Grandfather in law has cancer. Visited mother in law with fourth stage cancer in hospital. Crashed my car on way to visit her. How Dat?

[MOhillbilly]

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

Be a man pick up the phone and say hello. your cock should demand these sort of things.

[sd4chiefs]

Saturday. Got out of bed. Read the paper. Had breakfast. Walked the dog. Checked the CP website. Worked in the backyard. Had lunch. Took a nap. Checked the CP website. Worked in the frontyard. Walked the dog. Had dinner. Watched TV. Checked the CP website. Went to bed.

Sunday. See Saturday.

Monday. See Sunday.

[DeezNutz]

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

I used to text, "How'd it taste?" But that's probably not your style.

Terrible, terrible, message.

[Hammock Parties]

J
F
C

Just give up. You've missed your window.

I'm taking Simply Red's advice, not yours. Sorry.

[Hammock Parties]

I used to text, "How'd it taste?" But that's probably not your style.

Terrible, terrible, message.

WTF?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MESSAGE??

It's playful flirting and indicates interest. Fuck you guys. Fuck you guys.

[keg in kc]

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU KISSED A GIRL, KEG?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

:mad:Yeah, I certainly don't have any experience with this.

That's the ticket.

[Saulbadguy]

But what happens if she doesn't make me stop?

That sounds scary.

Then you are home free. "Mission Accomplished." Clear for landing.

[seclark]

I'm taking Simply Red's advice, not yours. Sorry.

what...you're going to peek at the neighbors across the street?
sec

[Donger]

I'm taking Simply Red's advice, not yours. Sorry.

Isn't he divorced?

[Brock]

First of all, I didn't ask her out via text. I just said "So, how's my kissing?" It was a playful, next-day, I-like-you-so-I'm-flirting-via-text message thing.

The point is IF SHE LIKED ME AT ALL she would have responded. If she DIDN'T GET THE TEXT, and SHE LIKES ME AT ALL, she'll figure out a way to talk to me again.

Ouch. Your spleen is lying on the ground.

[keg in kc]

Let's see. Grandfather in law has cancer. Visited mother in law with fourth stage cancer in hospital. Crashed my car on way to visit her. How Dat?Ouch. Sorry man.

[DeezNutz]

It's really, really obscure advice.

If you go out with a girl and have a good time, call her in the next day or two and ask her out again. Repeat as necessary.

This is complicated shit.

[Saulbadguy]

WTF?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MESSAGE??

It's playful flirting and indicates interest. **** you guys. **** you guys.

They are just giving you a hard time. I guarantee everyone of these guys (plus myself) has said far more embarrassing things to get a piece of ass.

[Hammock Parties]

Isn't he divorced?

Exactly. He's closer to the singles scene than you are.

[Donger]

WTF?!?!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT MESSAGE??

It's playful flirting and indicates interest. **** you guys. **** you guys.

You sound like a 13 year-old virgin, that's what's wrong with it. You're a grown man. Start acting like one.

[Donger]

Exactly. He's closer to the singles scene than you are.

LMAO

[DeezNutz]

Then you are home free. "Mission Accomplished." Clear for landing.

It's safer to remain a virgin. /the magic texting scribe/

[Donger]

They are just giving you a hard time. I guarantee everyone of these guys (plus myself) has said far more embarrassing things to get a piece of ass.

Sure, when I was 12.

[keg in kc]

I'll give you credit, you might have piqued her interest just enough for her to look for another guy to fuck the next day.

[Brock]

Exactly. He's closer to the singles scene than you are.

You can throw people into a swimming pool, it doesn't mean they know how to swim.

[ChiTown]

Claythan, you have got to be bullshitting. Nobody is this fucking stupid regarding the opposite sex.







Are they?

[Brock]

I'll give you credit, you might have piqued her interest just enough for her to look for another guy to **** the next day.

ROFL

[keg in kc]

They are just giving you a hard time. I guarantee everyone of these guys (plus myself) has said far more embarrassing things to get a piece of ass.And likely will say.

It's that breadth of experience we're trying to share with the poor fellow.

[Hammock Parties]

I'll give you credit, you might have piqued her interest just enough for her to look for another guy to fuck the next day.

You're really pissing me off.

[DeezNutz]

They are just giving you a hard time. I guarantee everyone of these guys (plus myself) has said far more embarrassing things to get a piece of ass.

Key here being "to get a piece of ass."

Is this GoChief's goal?

[Hammock Parties]

Claythan, you have got to be bullshitting. Nobody is this fucking stupid regarding the opposite sex.


What's so stupid about anything I've done?

When has there ever been a precedent set against a next-day text?

[Donger]

You're really pissing me off.

You're pissed at yourself.

[DeezNutz]

Texting is chickenshit.

Man up and call.

[Hammock Parties]

You're pissed at yourself.

Over what? If she doesn't like me, she doesn't like me, although the date indicated otherwise. I doubt a text made her go "ew, fuck this guy."

[keg in kc]

You're really pissing me off.Good. Now channel that anger where it belongs and use the whole experience as a sort of tutorial. Next time...be more aggressive. And if she, whoever she ends up being, isn't interested in that, she'll let you know.

[ChiTown]

What's so stupid about anything I've done?

When has there ever been a precedent set against a next-day text?

It has NOTHING to do with texting the next day. It has everything to do with your lack of confidence and your inability to find AT LEAST one woman that will fuck you.

[Hammock Parties]

It has NOTHING to do with texting the next day. It has everything to do with your lack of confidence and your inability to find AT LEAST one woman that will fuck you.

So now I'm stupid for not groping her?

[keg in kc]

So now I'm stupid for not groping her?Not stupid, just inexperienced.

I've been there.

[ChiTown]

So now I'm stupid for not groping her?

Dude, you have got to be more aggressive. Your passive ways are probably turning these girls completely off. Women want a man to be in control and to tell them what to do. Stop trying to impress them with being a gentlemen and learn to fuck a few girls first.

[Hammock Parties]

Dude, you have got to be more aggressive. Your passive ways are probably turning these girls completely off.

I KISSED HER.

How is that passive?

[DeezNutz]

How old was this girl?

[Hammock Parties]

How old was this girl?

22

[DeezNutz]

I KISSED HER.

How is that passive?

You're a slap hitter. Satisfied with hitting a seeing-eye single through the opposite side.

[tooge]

You wouldn't be upset if I called her and asked her out would ya? She sounds kinda like she wants it.

[DeezNutz]

22

Be more aggressive.

Guys have been trying to **** her since she was 16, so she's (we hope) well versed at saying, "No." Advance until you hear this.

[keg in kc]

I KISSED HER.

How is that passive?Kissing with no tongue is not aggressive. Introducing a little tongue and then rubbing a nipple that's not yours is aggressive.

Where were your hands during all this? Did you at least have one in her hair?

[ChiTown]

I KISSED HER.

How is that passive?

?

After the kiss, you say. "Hey, I know this place where we can go have a cocktail (or if she doesn't drink), this nightclub where we can go dance. Let's leave your Ten Speed here and take my Vespa."

Extend the date, genius. You had here getting moist with the kiss, keep it going.

[Hammock Parties]

Kissing with no tongue is not aggressive. Introducing a little tongue and then rubbing a nipple that's not yours is aggressive.

Where were your hands during all this? Did you at least have one in her hair?

I had one around the back of her head, yes.

[Hammock Parties]

?

After the kiss, you say. "Hey, I know this place where we can go have a cocktail (or if she doesn't drink), this nightclub where we can go dance. Let's leave your Ten Speed here and take my Vespa."

Extend the date, genius. You had here getting moist with the kiss, keep it going.

It had already been established that the date was over at that point.

[keg in kc]

?

After the kiss, you say. "Hey, I know this place where we can go have a cocktail (or if she doesn't drink), this nightclub where we can go dance. Let's leave your Ten Speed here and take my Vespa."

Extend the date, genius. You had here getting moist with the kiss, keep it going.Or "I have the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy on bluray, with this sweet HD setup and surround, want to check it out? Mom won't mind."

[tooge]

I had one around the back of her head, yes.

Tell me when you have one on TOP of her head. That will be progress.

[DeezNutz]

I ****ing kissed the girl. Hard. And went back for seconds. If she couldn't tell I wanted to shag her rotten she's more clueless than I.

You kissed her "hard" sans tongue? :spock:

[ChiTown]

Or "I have the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy on bluray, with this sweet HD setup and surround, want to check it out? Mom won't mind."

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

[keg in kc]

I had one around the back of her head, yes.Okay, that's a start.

If you have trouble with the whole tongue idea, you can always try migrating the kiss down to her neck. Although that's probably something that should wait until the 202 class.

[DeezNutz]

Or "I have the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy on bluray, with this sweet HD setup and surround, want to check it out? Mom won't mind."

Which?

[Hammock Parties]

If you have trouble with the whole tongue idea, you can always try migrating the kiss down to her neck.

WE WERE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARKING LOT

[Donger]

I had one around the back of her head, yes.

Did you have an erection?

[Hammock Parties]

Did you have an erection?

I had a semi when I walked away. 'twas nice.

[DeezNutz]

WE WERE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARKING LOT

Your shock, for lack of a better word, speaks volumes.

[Hammock Parties]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see a lot of couples making out in broad daylight in parking lots.

Maybe at 1 am outside a bar.

But not at 6:30 outside a Starbucks.

JMO.

[keg in kc]

WE WERE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARKING LOTSo?

Odds are people have fucked in the very spot where you didn't slip your tongue into her mouth or cup a breast outside of her shirt (much less inside).

These things can be done discreetly, it's not like you have to put on a voyeur show for the aboriginals. Kissing is a far cry from fellatio.

[Donger]

I had a semi when I walked away. 'twas nice.

No, losing an erection because you ejaculate is "nice." Anyway, I'm glad that you are making progress (sort of).

[raybec 4]

You're a slap hitter. Satisfied with hitting a seeing-eye single through the opposite side.

What was good for Tony Gwynn should be good for Claythan, He worked that shit to the HOF!

[ChiTown]

It had already been established that the date was over at that point.

You are a lost cause.

[Iowanian]

Maybe its just me, but I don't see too many people that could Eff up a sex transaction with a seasoned prostitute alone on a desert island if you had all of the food and water.

[acesn8s]

Took my girls shopping on Sat.
Went to work Sun.
Took Joie to the birthing center on Mon. and haven't left.

No money. No sleep. No baby.

[Donger]

So?

Odds are people have ****ed in the very spot where you didn't slip your tongue into her mouth or cup a breast outside of her shirt (much less inside).

These things can be done discreetly, it's not like you have to put on a voyeur show for the aboriginals. Kissing is a far cry from fellatio.

I can understand his discretion. I just hope that if he gets the chance to be with her in private, that he takes the next step. I think he wrote that he already got off with another girl/woman, so it's not like he's that far off.

[DeezNutz]

What was good for Tony Gwynn should be good for Claythan, He worked that shit to the HOF!

In an interview, Gwynn once said that he could hit a lot more HR's if he wanted to.

Can GoChiefs say the same?

[keg in kc]

I can understand his discretion. I just hope that if he gets the chance to be with her in private, that he takes the next step. I think he wrote that he already got off with another girl/woman, so it's not like he's that far off.I can, too, but you have to take the next step, even at 6:30 in broad daylight at a starbucks. Nothing ventured...

[DeezNutz]

If it had been a Dunkin Donuts, it would have been a different story...

[Donger]

I can, too, but you have to take the next step, even at 6:30 in broad daylight at a starbucks. Nothing ventured...

I disagree. For all we know, going that far could have completely turned her off.

[raybec 4]

In an interview, Gwynn once said that he could hit a lot more HR's if he wanted to.

Can GoChiefs say the same?

Probably, you know 90% of this I'm a hapless virgin bullshit is probably just his schtick. He probably gets as much as the average mid twenties guy who lives with his mom.

[DeezNutz]

Probably, you know 90% of this I'm a hapless virgin bullshit is probably just his schtick. He probably gets as much as the average mid twenties guy who lives with his mom.

ROFL

[gblowfish]

Mowed grass, trimmed grass, smelled my neighbor smoking grass.
Power washed my deck. In suburbia a man is measured by the size of his deck.
Straightened up screened in porch.
Watch Royals lose two, win won. Then on Monday listened to them get their ASS handed to them by Detroit. WTF???
Took wifey to dinner and a movie Saturday night (Hey Claythan, try that. Chicks dig it).

Must have gotten into some poison ivy over the weekend, because found it on my forearm this AM. And my car is running weird today, taking it in for a look see tomorrow... so....back to the usual weekly crap-o-rama.

Enjoyed the 3 day weekend though...

C'mon.....JULY 4th!!!!

[keg in kc]

I disagree. For all we know, going that far could have completely turned her off.I might agree if he'd heard from her. My guess is he should have tried to keep the evening going.

But, hey, hopefully it's nothing and he'll get a call from her in 5 minutes.

[Hammock Parties]

I disagree. For all we know, going that far could have completely turned her off.

Exactly.

To that point the most aggressive move she made was putting her arm around my waist.

I felt fortunate she wanted to be kissed at the end.

[Hammock Parties]

I might agree if he'd heard from her. My guess is he should have tried to keep the evening going.

But, hey, hopefully it's nothing and he'll get a call from her in 5 minutes.

I'm going to the gym. I'm going to TEXT her. Just to piss you guys off.

[Iowanian]

Tell her you're texting her from your star trek com, that'll make her wet enough to short circuit your motherboard.

[Donger]

I'm going to the gym. I'm going to TEXT her. Just to piss you guys off.

Has she responded to your text?

[keg in kc]

Exactly.

To that point the most aggressive move she made was putting her arm around my waist.

I felt fortunate she wanted to be kissed at the end.Change that mindset. Expect to be kissed. Expect her to want more. Make her tell you to slow down a little. If she does, apologize, and continue kissing without shenanigans.

You were waiting for a sign from her. She was there, my friend. That was your sign.

(And then she put an arm around your waist - that was an invitation - she let you into her personal space)

[Katipan]

no.

I'd be happy to pop your cherry.

[keg in kc]

I'm going to the gym. I'm going to TEXT her. Just to piss you guys off.Why would that piss any of us off? Doing something is a good move.

[Katipan]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see a lot of couples making out in broad daylight in parking lots.

Maybe at 1 am outside a bar.

But not at 6:30 outside a Starbucks.

JMO.

It's just you.

[Saulbadguy]

Mowed grass, trimmed grass, smelled my neighbor smoking grass.
Power washed my deck. In suburbia a man is measured by the size of his deck.
Straightened up screened in porch.
Watch Royals lose two, win won. Then on Monday listened to them get their ASS handed to them by Detroit. WTF???
Took wifey to dinner and a movie Saturday night (Hey Claythan, try that. Chicks dig it).

Must have gotten into some poison ivy over the weekend, because found it on my forearm this AM. And my car is running weird today, taking it in for a look see tomorrow... so....back to the usual weekly crap-o-rama.

Enjoyed the 3 day weekend though...

C'mon.....JULY 4th!!!!
These are the types of posts that make me grin. Clearly the thread has deviated from the original topic, but damnit, this guy is going to right the ship.

[Hammock Parties]

It's just you.

Fine.

Next time I'm in the theater alone with a girl I'm going to grab her and see how badly she freaks out.

[Halfcan]

Offspring is hard core.:rolleyes: You didn't knock any kids down did you?

I'll bet you're pretty fly for a white guy.

The crowd was pretty tame-and no I didn't knock any kids down-a bunch of others though. :)

[Dottefan]

Voluntered at the Vet hospital. My brothers and I smoked about 20ilbs of chicken legs and thighs, made up some potato salad, and beans, and brought it to the hospital. Regardless if you are a Lib like my self or a concervative, the one thing we can agree on is we love our troops.

[keg in kc]

Fine.

Next time I'm in the theater alone with a girl I'm going to grab her and see how badly she freaks out.You know the dick in the popcorn trick, right?

[Katipan]

Fine.

Next time I'm in the theater alone with a girl I'm going to grab her and see how badly she freaks out.

Oh ho hum. She'll have only been dealing with that sort of behavior since she was 13 or thereabouts.

[Katipan]

You know the dick in the popcorn trick, right?

You freak me out.

[keg in kc]

I liked my answer better.

[keg in kc]

You freak me out.Yes you do.

[Hammock Parties]

Oh ho hum. She'll have only been dealing with that sort of behavior since she was 13 or thereabouts.

Yeah, and I'd just LOVE to be lumped in with all the other perverts who turned her off immediately.

[Katipan]

I liked my answer better.

Only because it involved popcorn.

[keg in kc]

Yeah, and I'd just LOVE to be lumped in with all the other perverts who turned her off immediately.Negative nancy. You want to be the pervert that turns her on.

[keg in kc]

Only because it involved popcorn.Stop doing that!

[Hammock Parties]

Negative nancy. You want to be the pervert that turns her on.

Sometimes it's best if you're more perverted when she's more comfortable with you.

Right?

[MoreLemonPledge]

I read about Claythan trying to get some.

[Katipan]

Yeah, and I'd just LOVE to be lumped in with all the other perverts who turned her off immediately.

You're over reacting. It's what happens when you're a girl in a dark movie theater with a boy. We have plenty of ways to get you to back off. We've been learning them since puberty.

Otherwise going to a movie theater with a boy you can't talk to and won't make out with would be like going with your mother.

[Katipan]

Sometimes it's best if you're more perverted when she's more comfortable with you.

Right?

Dick in popcorn box bad.
Kisses on neck good.

[keg in kc]

Sometimes it's best if you're more perverted when she's more comfortable with you.

Right?Shaking hands is for old people. This is the naughty naughts, you whip your dick out as a greeting.

[keg in kc]

Dick in popcorn box bad.
Kisses on neck good.Prude.

[keg in kc]

You're over reacting. It's what happens when you're a girl in a dark movie theater with a boy. We have plenty of ways to get you off. We've been learning them since puberty.Is it wrong that this is how I read what you said?

[Sure-Oz]

Worked friday and saturday, looked for cars...
Sunday hung out with the gf and grilled out, watched some flicks.
Yesterday slept alot, ate at unos, yum

[Katipan]

Is it wrong that this is how I read what you said?

When I was bartending and a guy would tell me he was going to the bathroom, I'd always ask if he jiggled it or wrung it out.

[Katipan]

Prude.

Last time I gave a BJ in a movie theatre was during Joe Dirt.

sigh.

[keg in kc]

Last time I gave a BJ in a movie theatre was during Joe Dirt.

sigh.I can honestly say I've never given a BJ in a movie theater.

Although it's probably been about that long since I went to a movie with someone else.

No sigh.

[Hammock Parties]

You're over reacting. It's what happens when you're a girl in a dark movie theater with a boy. We have plenty of ways to get you to back off. We've been learning them since puberty.

Otherwise going to a movie theater with a boy you can't talk to and won't make out with would be like going with your mother.

We talked quite a bit. We had 30 minutes to kill before the movie.

All she had to do was grab my arm or something...I didn't feel like she was giving me any signs. GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE SIGNS! :cuss:

[Katipan]

I can honestly say I've never given a BJ in a movie theater.

Although it's probably been about that long since I went to a movie with someone else.

No sigh.

The sigh was for seeing Joe Dirt.

[keg in kc]

The sigh was for seeing Joe Dirt.Sure it was.

[Katipan]

We talked quite a bit. We had 30 minutes to kill before the movie.

All she had to do was grab my arm or something...I didn't feel like she was giving me any signs. GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE SIGNS! :cuss:

Yeah but some of us are shy.

No one I know, but they're out there.

[Halfcan]

We talked quite a bit. We had 30 minutes to kill before the movie.

All she had to do was grab my arm or something...I didn't feel like she was giving me any signs. GIRLS ARE SUPPOSED TO GIVE SIGNS! :cuss:

a sign like NOT calling you back or returning your text

[Hammock Parties]

a sign like NOT calling you back or returning your text

Something's up. She hasn't been online since Saturday.

Maybe she's in a coma?

[Donger]

Wait. What movie? You took her to a movie?

[keg in kc]

Yeah but some of us are shy.

No one I know, but they're out there.Mer shows up in a miniskirt sans panties and does Basic Instinct as long as it takes for you to notice. Sometimes she writes "eat me" in lipstick.

[Katipan]

Mer shows up in a miniskirt sans panties and does Basic Instinct as long as it takes for you to notice. Sometimes she writes "eat me" in lipstick.

...

wtf

Quit posting PMs.

[Hammock Parties]

Wait. What movie? You took her to a movie?

First we went to the arcade. She's nerdy. In fact, nerdier than me.

Don't worry we had plenty of time to talk.

[keg in kc]

...

wtf

Quit posting PMs.I think I'd remember a PM like that.

That means I guessed well!

[Halfcan]

Something's up. She hasn't been online since Saturday.

Maybe she's in a coma?

F it-plenty more fish in the sea.

[Katipan]

Don't get one that smells like fish.

[Donger]

First we went to the arcade. She's nerdy. In fact, nerdier than me.

Don't worry we had plenty of time to talk.

And this was on Friday and you've not heard from her since?

[Hammock Parties]

And this was on Friday and you've not heard from her since?

Yes.

But like I said, she hasn't been on the site we met on since Saturday...maybe she died. It's the ONLY EXPLANATION!!!

[Donger]

Yes.

Did she say that she had other things going on that would preclude her from communicating with you?

[Hammock Parties]

Did she say that she had other things going on that would preclude her from communicating with you?

No.

But most people don't plan their own death, or to fall into a coma.

[Halfcan]

how does EVERY good thread end up on GC's endless quest for pussy???

[Halfcan]

Don't get one that smells like fish.

ROFL you are on a roll lately

[Hammock Parties]

how does EVERY good thread end up on GC's endless quest for pussy???

People are interested. What can I say? All I did was post about my holiday. Then you guys got nosy.

[mlyonsd]

I walked into the kitchen late morning on Saturday and my wife (who hates war movies) had Band of Brothers on. The second episode had just started and we watched the entire rest of the series...it ended at 11pm.

Man, what a great show.

[Donger]

No.

But most people don't plan their own death, or to fall into a coma.

What indication did she give you that she wanted to see you again, or communicate in any way?

[Halfcan]

People are interested. What can I say? All I did was post about my holiday. Then you guys got nosy.

you set the trap and they step in it every time. :)

[Hammock Parties]

What indication did she give you that she wanted to see you again, or communicate in any way?

We shared a passionate kiss? Why kiss a guy if you don't want to see him again? Why tell him you had fun? Why put your arm around his waist? Why ask him if he has a WIFE?

Fuck me for not asking directly I suppose but all that seemed like pretty good indications she wanted to see me again.

[Donger]

We shared a passionate kiss? Why kiss a guy if you don't want to see him again? Why tell him you had fun? Why put your arm around his waist? Why ask him if he has a WIFE?

**** me for not asking directly I suppose but all that seemed like pretty good indications she wanted to see me again.

Perhaps she was just doing so in order to get away from you? I'm not saying that is what happened, but you really cannot apply male-style thinking to these things.

Do so at your own peril.

[stevieray]

bought a bitchin motor for my van..

[Sure-Oz]

Brush that shit off she doesn't call...you got some experience

[Hammock Parties]

Brush that shit off she doesn't call...you got some experience

Yup.

Sucks getting experience with bitches who can't give you a courtesy flush, though...

[Donger]

Yup.

Sucks getting experience with bitches who can't give you a courtesy flush, though...

I don't think that I'd handle rejection well. I hope that she's just busy.

[keg in kc]

Yup.

Sucks getting experience with bitches who can't give you a courtesy flush, though...Just thank the maker that you have the internet at your disposal and the days of beating off to VHS classics like "puss in boots" is over.

[Hammock Parties]

I don't think that I'd handle rejection well. I hope that she's just busy.

I keep telling myself that but she wasn't too busy to take a phone call during the movie.

[keg in kc]

I keep telling myself that but she wasn't too busy to take a phone call during the movie.I'd have dumped her right then.

[Donger]

I keep telling myself that but she wasn't too busy to take a phone call during the movie.

Ugh. Well, have you called her?

[Hammock Parties]

I'd have dumped her right then.

Well she left the theater, thankfully.

And no Donger, I texted her twice. She responded to my texts BEFORE the date so I see no reason she can't respond to them now.

Unless she's a huge bitch.

[Donger]

Well she left the theater, thankfully.

And no Donger, I texted her twice. She responded to my texts BEFORE the date so I see no reason she can't respond to them now.

Unless she's a huge bitch.

Call her. If you don't reach her, just leave a voice mail saying that you enjoyed the time with her and hope to see her again. If she doesn't respond in a day or two, move on.

[keg in kc]

Leave her an angry voicemail peppered with words like "cunt", "bitch", "whore" and "slut".

And then when she calls back and tells you you're an asshole, that she'd been in an accident and was just out of the hospital, you tell her you were just diagnosed with tourettes.

[Hammock Parties]

Call her. If you don't reach her, just leave a voice mail saying that you enjoyed the time with her and hope to see her again. If she doesn't respond in a day or two, move on.

I've already moved on.

[stevieray]

250HP 300FT

[Hammock Parties]

Leave her an angry voicemail peppered with words like "cunt", "bitch", "whore" and "slut".

And then when she calls back and tells you you're an asshole, that she'd been in an accident and was just out of the hospital, you tell her you were just diagnosed with tourettes.

LMAO

IT WAS...MEANT TO...BE.....YOU FUCKING WHOOOOOOOOORE......I LOVE YOU....CUNT! BE MY BITCH!

[Donger]

I've already moved on.

Why? She's female. There could be many reasons why she hasn't responded. I would not presume anything at this point.

For all you know, she saw your texts and said, "Yeah right. Pick up the phone and call me!"

[Hammock Parties]

250HP 300FT

5-3 134LBs 32B

[Donger]

5-3 134LBs 32B

F*ck that. Move on, indeed.

[Hammock Parties]

For all you know, she saw your texts and said, "Yeah right. Pick up the phone and call me!"

Judging from our time together she's not that kind of girl. Besides, she's been the one chasing me the whole time. She initiated contact, asked me out, and when I went to the wrong Starbucks, she drove to ME.

[Hammock Parties]

F*ck that. Move on, indeed.

Oh shut up. She was hot. You got something against short girls?

[Donger]

Oh shut up. She was hot. You got something against short girls?

No. Fat ones.

[keg in kc]

Judging from our time together she's not that kind of girl. Besides, she's been the one chasing me the whole time. She initiated contact, asked me out, and when I went to the wrong Starbucks, she drove to ME.Maybe she thinks it's your turn.

FYI, your description does fit my (and everybody else's) whole passive theory.

[Hammock Parties]

No. Fat ones.

She wasn't fat. Not even close. I felt INCREDIBLY lucky when I first saw her.

[keg in kc]

No. Fat ones.I was wondering how she could weigh that much and be a 'b' cup.

Not that I'd call 135 fat, necessarily. God knows I've been involved with bigger.

Much, much bigger.

[Katipan]

5-3 134LBs 32B

Awww Claythan?

A B-CUP?

I couldn't be more proud.

[Katipan]

I was wondering how she could weigh that much and be a 'b' cup.

Not that I'd call 135 fat, necessarily. God knows I've been involved with bigger.

Much, much bigger.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK YOU FUCKING FREAK