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Fire Me Boy!
06-01-2009, 07:20 PM
Met with the recruiter again this morning, and it looks like Mrs. Fire Me Boy! is going back Wednesday to get signed, sealed and delivered as U.S. property.

No idea when she'll head to boot camp and tech school yet. Could be July, could be August, September or as late as October.

chiefs1111
06-01-2009, 07:25 PM
well,good luck to her

Skip Towne
06-01-2009, 07:30 PM
Brings back bad memories. Is she going to San Antonio for boot camp?

Kyle DeLexus
06-01-2009, 07:30 PM
I've thought about it myself

Fire Me Boy!
06-01-2009, 07:32 PM
Brings back bad memories. Is she going to San Antonio for boot camp?

Lackland AFB. Tech school will be down in Pensacola, FL.

Buehler445
06-01-2009, 07:40 PM
Good luck. Hopefully she stays safe. That should give Mr. FMB plenty of time to BBQ in the interim.

Frazod
06-01-2009, 07:55 PM
It sure won't do your marriage any favors.

Best of luck to you both.

DeezNutz
06-01-2009, 07:58 PM
Interesting.

Serious decision and commitment. Why?

Fire Me Boy!
06-01-2009, 07:59 PM
It sure won't do your marriage any favors.

Best of luck to you both.

Why do you say that?

Of course, it's something we've talked a lot about, and we're not going in to this blind. We've been together for a while, and it's not exactly like we're newlyweds.

Just curious why you say that.

Fire Me Boy!
06-01-2009, 08:01 PM
Interesting.

Serious decision and commitment. Why?

Been something she's been considering now for almost two years now. Very long story short, she's made some decisions that have really screwed up her life, and this is a way she can get things headed back in a positive direction. There's more to it than that, but that's the Cliff's Notes version.

DeezNutz
06-01-2009, 08:03 PM
Been something she's been considering now for almost two years now. Very long story short, she's made some decisions that have really screwed up her life, and this is a way she can get things headed back in a positive direction. There's more to it than that, but that's the Cliff's Notes version.

Then I wish her (and you) nothing but good luck. Sounds like you've given this much thought.

Frazod
06-01-2009, 08:06 PM
We're not going in blind. We've been together for a while, and it's not exactly like we're newlyweds.

I hate to be a bummer here, but military life is to marriage what tornadoes are to trailer parks. Only the strongest survive, and sometimes even they can get leveled.

I hope your marriage is strong enough to survive the separation, along with the personality changes military life can sometimes cause in people. Some people aren't affected, some are. There is no way of telling beforehand who will be and who won't be. There's also no way of knowing what sort of people she'll fall in with.

Again, best of luck.

unlurking
06-01-2009, 08:51 PM
"Air Force Chicks are more commonly known as Marine Mattresses." :D

I can't remember where I heard that one. Here maybe?

Iowanian
06-01-2009, 09:09 PM
She definitely looked like a natural aviator in Elliot's bike basket.

Pioli Zombie
06-01-2009, 10:26 PM
Two of my best friends went into the AF. Everybody screwed around on everybody. I can't for the life of me understand how two people who are already married would think its a good idea for the marraige for one of them to now join the fucking service........
Oh wait. Did I type that? I thought I was just thinking it

Not that I'm saying its a stupid fucking idea for you two!!!! I'm sure it'll bring you MUCH closer together.
Posted via Mobile Device

Pioli Zombie
06-01-2009, 10:54 PM
I hope we didn't come off as negative and unsupportive of this idea.
Posted via Mobile Device

Dante84
06-01-2009, 11:12 PM
Jesus, guys, ease up. The dude is sharing something very personal here, let's at least wait a few pages before the oh shit comments.

Good luck FMB- my best friend is in the AFR and it is really helping out his situation. I have a good friend in every branch.

I am glad you two are comfortable with the decision, and hope she stays safe. Thanks for hers, and your, sacrifice!

Frazod
06-01-2009, 11:20 PM
Jesus, guys, ease up. The dude is sharing something very personal here, let's at least wait a few pages before the oh shit comments.

Advice based on six years in the military watching marriages crumble all around me, including my own, is not intended to be an "oh shit comment." I'm thinking I might know a little more about this stuff than you do.

I'm telling him things the recruiter won't bring up.

stevieray
06-01-2009, 11:24 PM
wow...I tend to agree...it's very honorable what she wants to do..but there is some truth to Fraz's post...they'll be plenty of boots who won't give a damn that she's married...

Dante84
06-01-2009, 11:24 PM
Ahh yes, i just re-read the OP and saw she hasn't signed yet....


In that case, he should be fully aware of all the possibilities.

Granted, after boot camp, its just a one weekend a month thing, right? She's just reserves, not full duty?

Dante84
06-01-2009, 11:25 PM
wow...I tend to agree...it's very honorable what she wants to do..but there is some thruth to Fraz's post...they'll be plenty of boots who won't give a damn that she's married...

Hopefully she's trustworth. I mean, its his wife, so lets hope!

stevieray
06-01-2009, 11:29 PM
Ahh yes, i just re-read the OP and saw she hasn't signed yet....


In that case, he should be fully aware of all the possibilities.

Granted, after boot camp, its just a one weekend a month thing, right? She's just reserves, not full duty?
she''ll get a short leave after basic, then go to tech school...then come home

My Drill Sgts in the Army always dogged the part timers during BT..

Frazod
06-01-2009, 11:29 PM
Ahh yes, i just re-read the OP and saw she hasn't signed yet....


In that case, he should be fully aware of all the possibilities.

Granted, after boot camp, its just a one weekend a month thing, right? She's just reserves, not full duty?

That one weekend a month stuff has been gone for a long time. Reservists are now being called up for extended tours overseas. And since the army is so overextended, they're assigning traditional army missions to other branches. My best friend (divorced after the Air Force ruined his marriage, BTW) is an Air Force Major and on his tour in Iraq was in charge of a military prison facility. Guys enlisting in the Navy who think they'll spend their tours on a ship are wandering around the desert with guns.

It's not like it used to be. At all.

Dante84
06-02-2009, 12:15 AM
You are right. My AFR friend is waiting to hear when/if he will be deployed.
My Marine buddy has been in Okinowa (sp?) for a year, and has another one over there as well unless they move his ass.

And the other friend just graduated from CU and did the Navy ROTC program there. He is now a commissioned officer and got accepted to be a Navy fighter pilot. Like, Top Gun shit. He was telling me all the fun stuff he gets to do down in Pensacola. I could never handle that shit. He has always been the EXTREME guy, lol. Every friend group has one.

Oh, and I know a kid in the Army, but that dude is just insane. I dont feel comfortable being around him when he's home.

mikey23545
06-02-2009, 04:21 AM
Good luck to you and your wife, FMB...Sounds like a real sea change...

sodcat
06-02-2009, 04:33 AM
It's the AF reserves not active duty, she wont be gone all the time, good luck to you, Lackland is like hell in Aug!

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 05:30 AM
Disclaimer: sounds like I'm being mean. But my comments are meant to change minds before wednesday

Well you know they must really be love if she's willing to join the fucking military to get away from him Jesus mine just filed for divorce.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 05:35 AM
Ahh yes, i just re-read the OP and saw she hasn't signed yet....

In that case, he should be fully aware of all the possibilities.

Granted, after boot camp, its just a one weekend a month thing, right? She's just reserves, not full duty?

It's reserves, not full time. She'll be gone for five months, and I have no thoughts whatsoever of her not being faithful. None.

We're not taking just the word of the recruiter - we've done a tremendous amount of research on this. And while deployment is a possibility, the job code she's going in under has several things going for it: there's a number of "boots" already in the field, and forced activations are few because of the people that volunteer for active service; if she were to be deployed, her job code has one of the shortest average deployment times around (64 days, as opposed to 90+ for many others); and if she's deployed, almost all the time her job code is deployed to Germany.

I understand some of you are trying to "warn me" about the possibilities. It's something we've thought of, and something we think we can handle. We know there are risks, both to her body and to our marriage. And we know she's going to be a changed person. We think we're strong enough to withstand it. I pray we are.

Those of you that are being dicks and just telling me how all she's going to do is cheat and screw around... you all can blow me. You don't know her, you don't know me.

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 05:36 AM
Disclaimer: sounds like I'm being mean. But my comments are meant to change minds before wednesday

Well you know they must really be love if she's willing to join the ****ing military to get away from him Jesus mine just filed for divorce.
Posted via Mobile Device

Sorry you weren't a good enough man for your wife to stick around. Just get the fuck out of here. Dick.

bevischief
06-02-2009, 05:47 AM
Good luck. Which unit?

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 05:47 AM
Sorry you weren't a good enough man for your wife to stick around. Just get the fuck out of here. Dick.

Why would you two take this risk?

For money?

Its not worth it.

Its because I've been through a loss of marraige that I'm speaking out. Its not a matter of being a good enough man or a good enough woman.

We are all vunerable to the things of this world that can ruin our lives.

You yourself admit their is a risk to her.

So WHY THE FUCK DO IT????????

Its one thing when one of you is already in the military. But when you are already married......

Please search your priorities

In this day and age if you join the military ANYTHING is possible.

And something tells me there is more to this story because people in love want to be together.

Don't make money this important.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 05:59 AM
Why would you two take this risk?

For money?

Its not worth it.

Its because I've been through a loss of marraige that I'm speaking out. Its not a matter of being a good enough man or a good enough woman.

We are all vunerable to the things of this world that can ruin our lives.

You yourself admit their is a risk to her.

So WHY THE **** DO IT????????

Its one thing when one of you is already in the military. But when you are already married......

Please search your priorities

In this day and age if you join the military ANYTHING is possible.

And something tells me there is more to this story because people in love want to be together.

Don't make money this important.
Posted via Mobile Device
Money is not the primary concern, and my love for my wife or hers for me has nothing to do with the equation. Nada, zilch, zero.

I've shared all I'm going to about what's driving this decision. It was very, very personal for my wife, and nothing she's shared with anyone other than me. I'm not going to share it on here or anywhere else.

We do want to be together, but there are times that sacrifices must be made to reach a greater peak. As I stated, this has been a decision a long time in the making... Bottom line: I support my wife, love her and care for her, and vice versa. She needs to do what will make her happy, and the AFR is a means to that end.

As for military life, it'll be new to me. She grew up in it - both her mother and father were active military, her dad up until 1999.

Perhaps your intent or point would have been driven home better by not acting like a piece of shit in your first few posts?

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 06:17 AM
Money is not the primary concern, and my love for my wife or hers for me has nothing to do with the equation. Nada, zilch, zero.

I've shared all I'm going to about what's driving this decision. It was very, very personal for my wife, and nothing she's shared with anyone other than me. I'm not going to share it on here or anywhere else.

We do want to be together, but there are times that sacrifices must be made to reach a greater peak. As I stated, this has been a decision a long time in the making... Bottom line: I support my wife, love her and care for her, and vice versa. She needs to do what will make her happy, and the AFR is a means to that end.

As for military life, it'll be new to me. She grew up in it - both her mother and father were active military, her dad up until 1999.

Perhaps your intent or point would have been driven home better by not acting like a piece of shit in your first few posts?

I'm an anonymous internet poster. If my point is made less valid to you because I "acted like a piece of shit" and you go ahead with a life changing decision because of something I said that's pretty fucked up don't you think?

And perhaps the fact an anonymous internet poster riled you up so much indicates that a part of you already knows what I said is true

You opened this up by sharing what you did.

If its not for money then this is even stupider than I originally thought. If she is joining the fucking military and taking such a huge gamble just so she can feel "fulfilled" than you two have bigger issues than you are sharing.

Counseling is less expensive than divorce or getting deployed in a military conflict somewhere.
Posted via Mobile Device

Katipan
06-02-2009, 06:19 AM
I think you're a pretty neat husband and she must be a badass chick.

Not every marriage is meant to fail and not every failure cries about it until death. Yours sounds like the good kind.

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 06:32 AM
I think you're a pretty neat husband and she must be a badass chick.

Not every marriage is meant to fail and not every failure cries about it until death. Yours sounds like the good kind.

One thing I've found on CP is honesty. I've heard things from people about my situation I didn't want to hear and I'm grateful for it.

This situation screams of bullshit. Its not a sign of great marraige when one of them decides its time to enter the military at a time when anyone in the military is fair game to get sent anywhere forever.

Like I said. CP is just the internet. I couldn't care less what I get called. But this is real life.

And if he didn't want feedback he woudnt have made sure we all knew there was time to change the decision. He would have just waited until after wednesday to tell us.

Don't let her go, man.
Posted via Mobile Device

Katipan
06-02-2009, 06:35 AM
One thing I've found on CP is honesty. I've heard things from people about my situation I didn't want to hear and I'm grateful for it.

This situation screams of bullshit. Its not a sign of great marraige when one of them decides its time to enter the military at a time when anyone in the military is fair game to get sent anywhere forever.

Like I said. CP is just the internet. I couldn't care less what I get called. But this is real life.

And if he didn't want feedback he woudnt have made sure we all knew there was time to change the decision. He would have just waited until after wednesday to tell us.

Don't let her go, man.
Posted via Mobile Device

Use CP as you wish. I think it's good therapy for you. You are all doom and gloom 24/7 but if thats what you think helps, I can't argue that. I think you gave your idea of honesty and I gave mine.

The girl wants to fix stuff. I admire that. I believe he does too. I believe when someone wants to make something better in their life it extends to every part of their life. So I shall focus on that.

All the rest of you can focus on the fact that she'll be hit on non stop by young men as if that doesn't fucking happen in any bar anyways.

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 06:37 AM
I'm an anonymous internet poster. If my point is made less valid to you because I "acted like a piece of shit" and you go ahead with a life changing decision because of something I said that's pretty ****ed up don't you think?

And perhaps the fact an anonymous internet poster riled you up so much indicates that a part of you already knows what I said is true

You opened this up by sharing what you did.

If its not for money then this is even stupider than I originally thought. If she is joining the ****ing military and taking such a huge gamble just so she can feel "fulfilled" than you two have bigger issues than you are sharing.

Counseling is less expensive than divorce or getting deployed in a military conflict somewhere.
Posted via Mobile Device

Not at all, I just think you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to my relationship with my wife. And I get defensive when people who don't know WTF they're talking about chime in and spew shit around because they are bitter in their own failed marriage.

It would actually be fairly easy to explain if I felt like discarding my wife's trust in me with a very personal situation.

You've said your piece. Now leave it alone.

Radar Chief
06-02-2009, 06:38 AM
Advice based on six years in the military watching marriages crumble all around me, including my own, is not intended to be an "oh shit comment." I'm thinking I might know a little more about this stuff than you do.

I'm telling him things the recruiter won't bring up.

I’ve seen plenty that lasted more than 20 years of military service, so lets keep that in mind also.

If you don’t have trust what do you have?

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 06:41 AM
Not at all, I just think you don't know what you're talking about when it comes to my relationship with my wife. And I get defensive when people who don't know WTF they're talking about chime in and spew shit around because they are bitter in their own failed marriage.

It would actually be fairly easy to explain if I felt like discarding my wife's trust in me with a very personal situation.

You've said your piece. Now leave it alone.

My condolences then.

Just remember by posting this thread when you did you were looking for feedback.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 06:42 AM
Use CP as you wish. I think it's good therapy for you. You are all doom and gloom 24/7 but if thats what you think helps, I can't argue that. I think you gave your idea of honesty and I gave mine.

The girl wants to fix stuff. I admire that. I believe he does too. I believe when someone wants to make something better in their life it extends to every part of their life. So I shall focus on that.

All the rest of you can focus on the fact that she'll be hit on non stop by young men as if that doesn't ****ing happen in any bar anyways.

I think you have a pretty firm grasp of the situation.

And I didn't post today because there's time left... just because we got back from the recruiter last night and I felt like sharing. If she'd have signed yesterday, I'd be here doing the exact same thing this morning.

BigRedChief
06-02-2009, 06:42 AM
FMB and his better half know whats best for their situation. I'm sure they have thought through this decision and studied all of the consequenses. They are not poor uneducated 18 years olds.

I say good luck Mr. & Mrs. FMB. May your hurdles always be cleanly cleared.

Radar Chief
06-02-2009, 06:42 AM
If its not for money then this is even stupider than I originally thought. If she is joining the ****ing military and taking such a huge gamble just so she can feel "fulfilled" than you two have bigger issues than you are sharing.

To the majority of employers, military service with an Honorable Discharge looks very good on a resume.
Not that I’m saying it’s “the” reason but it’s at least “a” reason.

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 06:43 AM
It sure won't do your marriage any favors.

Best of luck to you both.

Not to say anything about his wife by IME AF reserve women are incredible slutty (especially the married ones). Tech school is one big screw fest.

joesomebody
06-02-2009, 06:43 AM
If you support her, are understanding, and she has a solid head on her shoulders then you will have no problems. Age will be somewhat important too, I assume that since you said you aren't newlyweds that you both are in at least your mid to late 20s. That will help. The idiocy that happens at Tech School is amazing. Age and a bit of maturity will go a long way for you both in handling things. In fact, in Tech School you two should be able to live together if you have the means/ability to move there with her.

I'm not trying to sugarcoat it for you, as much of what was said in this thread is true. I just want to tell you not to worry, support her 100%, be patient, and above all be proud of her.

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 06:45 AM
My condolences then.

Just remember by posting this thread when you did you were looking for feedback.
Posted via Mobile Device

No, I really wasn't looking for feedback on whether or not she should do it. I know the answer to that. What you say, or anyone for that matter, won't make a lick of difference. This is a decision that needs to be made between my wife and me. No one else is a part of this.

I was sharing a part of my life with a group of people, many of whom I consider friends within our little community.

Radar Chief
06-02-2009, 06:47 AM
AF “Boot” coed? Army Basic wasn’t, don’t think it is today either.

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 06:49 AM
Does she know what AFSC she is going to do?

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 06:50 AM
AF “Boot” coed? Army Basic wasn’t, don’t think it is today either.

Yes it is.

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 06:51 AM
If you support her, are understanding, and she has a solid head on her shoulders then you will have no problems. Age will be somewhat important too, I assume that since you said you aren't newlyweds that you both are in at least your mid to late 20s. That will help. The idiocy that happens at Tech School is amazing. Age and a bit of maturity will go a long way for you both in handling things. In fact, in Tech School you two should be able to live together if you have the means/ability to move there with her.

I'm not trying to sugarcoat it for you, as much of what was said in this thread is true. I just want to tell you not to worry, support her 100%, be patient, and above all be proud of her.

We've been married for six years, I'm 30, she's 26. She's got a good head, and I just don't worry about her cheating on me. We're in a loving, fulfilling marriage.

joesomebody
06-02-2009, 06:51 AM
AF “Boot” coed? Army Basic wasn’t, don’t think it is today either.It is. Obviously you have separate barracks, but yes it is coed. At least it was in 2002...

Radar Chief
06-02-2009, 06:55 AM
Yes it is.

It is. Obviously you have separate barracks, but yes it is coed. At least it was in 2002...

Interesting. My AIT was, sounds like it's the same as “Tech School”, but there wasn’t a female on “the Hill” until we got to the Advanced Training side of it.

Dartgod
06-02-2009, 06:56 AM
Good luck to you and the Mrs., FMB.

Buehler445
06-02-2009, 06:58 AM
I don't know shit about it, FMB. Are you going to have to move?

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 06:59 AM
Its not just the matter of cheating btw, its more about priorities and risks and what military life does to marraige.

Most marraiges fail, mine included, because people don't put the marraige first. They look to fulfill themselves first and if the marraige survives well that's gravy.

I hope it works. I also hope she doesn't get deployed to afganistan.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 07:06 AM
Its not just the matter of cheating btw, its more about priorities and risks and what military life does to marraige.

Most marraiges fail, mine included, because people don't put the marraige first. They look to fulfill themselves first and if the marraige survives well that's gravy.

I hope it works. I also hope she doesn't get deployed to afganistan.
Posted via Mobile Device

This is a much more civil way to approach someone, and doesn't make me want to put you on ignore.

I would counter that just by saying I don't believe you can be completely fulfilled by your marriage alone. Marriage takes work, but I do believe you have to take care of No. 1 first - if you're not happy and fulfilled as a person, how can you transfer that happiness and energy into your marriage?

Manila-Chief
06-02-2009, 07:08 AM
FMB ... it was strickly on military issues, I'd have a concern but since you said the reason is other "big issues" with her ... I support the 2 of you 100%. If she doesn't go ... she could ... note "could" meet someone next month ... right there in the town where you live. I mean if "meeting someone" is the issue ... it doesn't have to be in the military. Marriage is built on trust and commitment and sounds like yours has plenty of that. Plus, the purpose for which she enters, will help both of you stay on course!!!

And, hey ... since you will have total control of your meals for the time she is gone ... your weight wil............................ hehehehe!!!!

Redrum_69
06-02-2009, 07:14 AM
They allow women in the military now?????


I thought under the Obama campaign all women were required to not leave the kitchen

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 07:16 AM
They allow women in the military now?????


I thought under the Obama campaign all women were required to not leave the kitchen

wow how far you've fallen :shake:

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 07:18 AM
I don't know shit about it, FMB. Are you going to have to move?

No, she's going Reserves. She'll be based at Charleston, SC, which is about 2 hours from where we live. Once she gets back from basic and tech school, it'll be the one weekend per month, two weeks deal unless she gets deployed.

Which again, research and the recruiter have said deployment in her career field has been very slim because they have so many people volunteering to go active.

Dayze
06-02-2009, 07:19 AM
Congrats; it's something very honorble to do. It will be tough on the marriage, but as you say, if you've both thought it out you should make it through.

You also never know what kind of doors the decision may open for you both in the future.

Good luck; hope everything works out well for you both.

Redrum_69
06-02-2009, 07:22 AM
wow how far you've fallen :shake:


DOnt compare me to the U.S. Dollar...

Radar Chief
06-02-2009, 07:23 AM
No, she's going Reserves. She'll be based at Charleston, SC, which is about 2 hours from where we live. Once she gets back from basic and tech school, it'll be the one weekend per month, two weeks deal unless she gets deployed.

Which again, research and the recruiter have said deployment in her career field has been very slim because they have so many people volunteering to go active.

What is her “field”?

Redrum_69
06-02-2009, 07:23 AM
No, she's going Reserves. She'll be based at Charleston, SC, which is about 2 hours from where we live. Once she gets back from basic and tech school, it'll be the one weekend per month, two weeks deal unless she gets deployed.

Which again, research and the recruiter have said deployment in her career field has been very slim because they have so many people volunteering to go active.


Maybe you two have seen Top Gun just a tad too much.

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 07:30 AM
No, she's going Reserves. She'll be based at Charleston, SC, which is about 2 hours from where we live. Once she gets back from basic and tech school, it'll be the one weekend per month, two weeks deal unless she gets deployed.

Which again, research and the recruiter have said deployment in her career field has been very slim because they have so many people volunteering to go active.

DONT EVER BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH!!!!

Amnorix
06-02-2009, 07:31 AM
Well, best of luck to both of you.

But I admit, I'm on the skeptical side of this equation.

Dartgod
06-02-2009, 07:33 AM
Its not just the matter of cheating btw, its more about priorities and risks and what military life does to marraige.

Most marraiges fail, mine included, because people don't put the marraige first. They look to fulfill themselves first and if the marraige survives well that's gravy.

I hope it works. I also hope she doesn't get deployed to afganistan.
Posted via Mobile Device
I can't stand it any longer.


It's M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E, not M-A-R-R-A-I-G-E

Redrum_69
06-02-2009, 07:33 AM
Maybe you and MTG#10 can start hanging out and talking about the old days...

Amnorix
06-02-2009, 07:39 AM
I can't stand it any longer.


It's M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E, not M-A-R-R-A-I-G-E

No. It's Mawwidge. That dweam within a dweam...

BigRedChief
06-02-2009, 07:41 AM
What is her “field”?
is that too personal? If not I'd like to know.

patteeu
06-02-2009, 07:44 AM
Advice based on six years in the military watching marriages crumble all around me, including my own, is not intended to be an "oh shit comment." I'm thinking I might know a little more about this stuff than you do.

I'm telling him things the recruiter won't bring up.

To be fair though, isn't the navy the hardest service branch on marriages by far (at least during peacetime)?

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 07:47 AM
To be fair though, isn't the navy the hardest service branch on marriages by far (at least during peacetime)?

That would be my guess. (or easiest depending on your sig other :))

patteeu
06-02-2009, 07:51 AM
One thing I've found on CP is honesty. I've heard things from people about my situation I didn't want to hear and I'm grateful for it.

This situation screams of bullshit. Its not a sign of great marraige when one of them decides its time to enter the military at a time when anyone in the military is fair game to get sent anywhere forever.

Like I said. CP is just the internet. I couldn't care less what I get called. But this is real life.

And if he didn't want feedback he woudnt have made sure we all knew there was time to change the decision. He would have just waited until after wednesday to tell us.

Don't let her go, man.
Posted via Mobile Device

Would you have the same opinion if FMB was a woman and her husband decided that he needed to join the military to feel like he was doing all he could do to help the country at a time of war or because he needed military experience to continue to have a viable career path into the future?

patteeu
06-02-2009, 07:54 AM
I’ve seen plenty that lasted more than 20 years of military service, so lets keep that in mind also.

If you don’t have trust what do you have?

And a good portion of the military marriages that fail are formed when the partners are very young which is a risk factor to begin with.

Buehler445
06-02-2009, 07:58 AM
No, she's going Reserves. She'll be based at Charleston, SC, which is about 2 hours from where we live. Once she gets back from basic and tech school, it'll be the one weekend per month, two weeks deal unless she gets deployed.

Which again, research and the recruiter have said deployment in her career field has been very slim because they have so many people volunteering to go active.

That's cool. That should be easier on you. Is it a 6 year deal like the full-time enlistment is?

FWIW, my best friend growing up is in the navy and is happily married. It's been sorta tough on his wife, but they're committed to making it work.
Posted via Mobile Device

Dante84
06-02-2009, 08:04 AM
No. It's Mawwidge. That dweam within a dweam...

Wuvvv.....Twoooo Wuvvv

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 08:06 AM
That's cool. That should be easier on you. Is it a 6 year deal like the full-time enlistment is?

FWIW, my best friend growing up is in the navy and is happily married. It's been sorta tough on his wife, but they're committed to making it work.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah, it's six-year enlistment.

Frazod
06-02-2009, 08:11 AM
I've said all I'm going to on this thread - I'm certainly not going to debate the rigors and realities of military life with people who've only seen soldiers and sailors on TV.

FMB, I hope you and your wife have a long and continued happy marriage.

That is all.

Brock
06-02-2009, 08:13 AM
My condolences then.

Just remember by posting this thread when you did you were looking for feedback.
Posted via Mobile Device

Sorry you married a stupid bitch, but that doesn't make you any kind of expert on marriage. In fact, pretty much the opposite.

Lin Elliot
06-02-2009, 08:24 AM
Can't we all just get along?

Demonpenz
06-02-2009, 08:36 AM
I hope she isn't going to get off the drugs

Jilly
06-02-2009, 08:49 AM
I hope you're 100% supportive of this idea? I mean, more like 150% supportive?

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 08:58 AM
I hope you're 100% supportive of this idea? I mean, more like 150% supportive?

Definitely. Totally on board.

I was hesitant at first, of course. But once she sufficiently convinced me she was doing it for the "right reasons" I've got her back.

Iowanian
06-02-2009, 09:06 AM
Good luck to her and to you.

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 09:19 AM
Would you have the same opinion if FMB was a woman and her husband decided that he needed to join the military to feel like he was doing all he could do to help the country at a time of war or because he needed military experience to continue to have a viable career path into the future?

Yes
Posted via Mobile Device

stevieray
06-02-2009, 09:24 AM
go the extra mile man, nothing brightens your day than a letter from home.

thanks for sharing something so personal. best of luck to both of you.

LTL
06-02-2009, 09:29 AM
I spent 7 years in the Navy, and was married before I went in. Did 2 West Pac tours, one during Desert Shield and Desert Storm and I was gone 10 months with that one. Did an 8 month turnaround only to go back over again for 6 months Missed my sons first birthday, my daughter being born and didn't get to see her till she was 4 months old, missed anniversaries as well. 20 years later my wife and I are still together. It can work if both parties are committed to making it work. FWIW, I have 4 brother in laws and all of them were in military at some point and time and all spent quite a bit a time away as well. 3 of them are still married, the one that isn't, didn't leave because of the military, dude was just an asshole to begin with. I have a nephew that has went from Reserves to full active duty after getting married, he has already done a tour in Iraq and his marriage is just fine.

Have seen marriages fail, but the ones that have I have seen fail I would contend the military only sped up the process as it revealed charcter flaws in those people that were already there, military or not. If people are gonna cheat they are gonna cheat, the military is just a convenient excuse and it would have happened at some point and time anyway.

It's a different way of life to be sure and can also be a very rewarding life for both of you if that is what you choose to make it. I wish you and yours the best of luck.

EyePod
06-02-2009, 09:40 AM
Have fun with all of that masturbation that you'll have to do now....

crazycoffey
06-02-2009, 09:47 AM
This is a much more civil way to approach someone, and doesn't make me want to put you on ignore.

I would counter that just by saying I don't believe you can be completely fulfilled by your marriage alone. Marriage takes work, but I do believe you have to take care of No. 1 first - if you're not happy and fulfilled as a person, how can you transfer that happiness and energy into your marriage?


exactly, point/counterpoint, game, set, match.

jAZ
06-02-2009, 09:53 AM
She definitely looked like a natural aviator in Elliot's bike basket.

Is this some sort of an inside joke that I don't get, or are you really such a huge douchbag as to say that his wife looks like a freakish alien with a giant head and fat body.

cdcox
06-02-2009, 09:53 AM
It's pretty clear that FMB! and his Mrs. are going into this with their eyes open. There are pluses and minuses to every decision in life. Since we do not know the underlying pluses to this decision, it is impossible for us to weigh them. And FMB! has not asked us to.

Best of luck to the both of you, FMB!

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 09:56 AM
Is this some sort of an inside joke that I don't get, or are you really such a huge douchbag as to say that his wife looks like a freakish alien with a giant head and fat body.

I posted a picture years ago of my wife being goofy... she had a hoodie pulled up over her head and making a ridiculous face... someone Photoshopped that pic into Eliott's basket.

Please, if someone still has it... don't post it again. She's enlisting in the Reserves. We're making a big sacrifice, be kind.

stevieray
06-02-2009, 09:57 AM
Is this some sort of an inside joke that I don't get, or are you really such a huge douchbag as to say that his wife looks like a freakish alien with a giant head and fat body.

how often do you get jokes?

it's the former...

Brock
06-02-2009, 10:17 AM
Shut up, jaz.

morphius
06-02-2009, 10:21 AM
I'm not sure if this has been brought up, but just keep in mind, she could be called up to cover for people that are being sent overseas.

Jilly
06-02-2009, 10:44 AM
Definitely. Totally on board.

I was hesitant at first, of course. But once she sufficiently convinced me she was doing it for the "right reasons" I've got her back.

I'm glad to hear that because she can't do her job right without you being 100% behind her and you can't survive without being 100% supportive either. My one suggestion: make sure you communicate with her your expectations of how much you expect her to communicate with you while she is gone. I know that there will be time when it will be impossible for her to stay in touch, but please let her know if you want her to call - once a week, once a day, once every month...etc, etc. It's so important that the two of you hear what is happening in both of your lives so that you grow together through this and not apart.

BigRedChief
06-02-2009, 10:45 AM
I'm not sure if this has been brought up, but just keep in mind, she could be called up to cover for people that are being sent overseas.
I've had several offers in the $150K-$175K range to do some I.T. work for the military in the middle east for a year. If the wife is in I.T. and they are telling her that she won't be needed in a war zone, take it with a grain of salt. Seems to me from my personal experience that they really need their techies over there.

Katipan
06-02-2009, 10:46 AM
I'm glad to hear that because she can't do her job right without you being 100% behind her and you can't survive without being 100% supportive either. My one suggestion: make sure you communicate with her your expectations of how much you expect her to communicate with you while she is gone. I know that there will be time when it will be impossible for her to stay in touch, but please let her know if you want her to call - once a week, once a day, once every month...etc, etc. It's so important that the two of you hear what is happening in both of your lives so that you grow together through this and not apart.

It's like you're good at talking to people and stuff.

DaKCMan AP
06-02-2009, 10:48 AM
I'm glad to hear that because she can't do her job right without you being 100% behind her

Uh huh huh huh.

http://www.augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/112797/CELEB_BEAVIS.jpg

Jilly
06-02-2009, 10:48 AM
It's like you're good at talking to people and stuff.

HEY! I'm a good listener too!

Jilly
06-02-2009, 10:49 AM
Uh huh huh huh.

http://www.augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/112797/CELEB_BEAVIS.jpg

Oh Dan...you're my hero

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 12:37 PM
I'm glad to hear that because she can't do her job right without you being 100% behind her and you can't survive without being 100% supportive either. My one suggestion: make sure you communicate with her your expectations of how much you expect her to communicate with you while she is gone. I know that there will be time when it will be impossible for her to stay in touch, but please let her know if you want her to call - once a week, once a day, once every month...etc, etc. It's so important that the two of you hear what is happening in both of your lives so that you grow together through this and not apart.

I understand, and I'll write her when she's in basic. Need to find out what the deal is in tech... is she allowed to call whenever she wants in tech school?

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 12:40 PM
Sorry you married a stupid bitch, but that doesn't make you any kind of expert on marriage. In fact, pretty much the opposite.
Duh. Did it ever occur to you that one of the things it does heighten my awareness of is when there is a problem. Like when two married people are voluntarily seperating for months and possibly years at a time?
Posted via Mobile Device

Jilly
06-02-2009, 12:51 PM
I understand, and I'll write her when she's in basic. Need to find out what the deal is in tech... is she allowed to call whenever she wants in tech school?

for the most part, yes. At least that was my experience.

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 12:52 PM
I understand, and I'll write her when she's in basic. Need to find out what the deal is in tech... is she allowed to call whenever she wants in tech school?

I thought the AF had weekends off in basic, am I wrong?

Jilly
06-02-2009, 12:53 PM
I thought the AF had weekends off in basic, am I wrong?

They do in the Army?

Iowanian
06-02-2009, 01:07 PM
Is this some sort of an inside joke that I don't get, or are you really such a huge douchbag as to say that his wife looks like a freakish alien with a giant head and fat body.

http://www.wepsite.de/post%20turtle.jpg


Don't forget the in and out motion when you're fornicating yourself, Jaz.

Fire Me Boy!
06-02-2009, 01:29 PM
Duh. Did it ever occur to you that one of the things it does heighten my awareness of is when there is a problem. Like when two married people are voluntarily seperating for months and possibly years at a time?
Posted via Mobile Device

But you officially don't know WTF you're talking about in concern to my marriage.

Dartgod
06-02-2009, 01:30 PM
But you officially don't know WTF you're talking about in concern to my marriage.
Every marraige is the same.

Duh.

MIAdragon
06-02-2009, 01:40 PM
Duh. Did it ever occur to you that one of the things it does heighten my awareness of is when there is a problem. Like when two married people are voluntarily seperating for months and possibly years at a time?
Posted via Mobile Device

Bro just drop it, Its very easy once you’ve been burned to jump on that wagon every chance you get. You know 1/100th of the situation IMO not enough to keep this diatribe up, let it go.

**this has nothing to do with FMB or the topic of the thread just a Dragon opinion**
And for the separation thing, this economy is really rough people need to make difficult sacrifices’ to make it through if that’s some separation then so be it.

Pioli Zombie
06-02-2009, 02:09 PM
Bro just drop it, Its very easy once you’ve been burned to jump on that wagon every chance you get. You know 1/100th of the situation IMO not enough to keep this diatribe up, let it go.

**this has nothing to do with FMB or the topic of the thread just a Dragon opinion**
And for the separation thing, this economy is really rough people need to make difficult sacrifices’ to make it through if that’s some separation then so be it.

Its not about money.

That being said, I've said what I said and I'm out. Wish you good luck.
Posted via Mobile Device

morphius
06-02-2009, 02:20 PM
I've had several offers in the $150K-$175K range to do some I.T. work for the military in the middle east for a year. If the wife is in I.T. and they are telling her that she won't be needed in a war zone, take it with a grain of salt. Seems to me from my personal experience that they really need their techies over there.
I just wanted to make sure that he understood that there are lots of different ways of being called up. One of my neighbors, in the reserves, had to go spend 6 months in Texas to cover for someone who had been shipped out. But your point about not trusting a recruiter is absolutely correct, and I wouldn't buy the plenty of volunteers as that doesn't seem like information a recruiter would really have.

FMB - I'm not trying to talk you two out of it anyway, I really just want you to have the right expectations going in.

Jilly
06-02-2009, 02:23 PM
I just wanted to make sure that he understood that there are lots of different ways of being called up. One of my neighbors, in the reserves, had to go spend 6 months in Texas to cover for someone who had been shipped out. But your point about not trusting a recruiter is absolutely correct, and I wouldn't buy the plenty of volunteers as that doesn't seem like information a recruiter would really have.

FMB - I'm not trying to talk you two out of it anyway, I really just want you to have the right expectations going in.

My ex was told he'd be gone, when he went into the Army reserves, for 4 months total basic and AIT, he ended up being gone for a year.

Iowanian
06-02-2009, 02:24 PM
My brother was told by the recruiter that they "never use the IRR callups, and wouldn't unless the Chinese invaded or something".



Guess where he is right now, 2 years after an honorable discharge from active duty?



If you get called up, it appears ignoring it is the best solution. Of the 500 letters that went out when my brother got his, 150 of them showed up for the big day. Those that didn't, just got their names put on the bottom of the pile, with no consequences. Once you make contact, you're lubed for the Green Wiener.

ClevelandBronco
06-02-2009, 02:32 PM
Good fortune to her. She has my lifelong admiration.

ClevelandBronco
06-02-2009, 02:41 PM
Fire Me Boy!

Please bless her.

Fire Me Boy!
06-03-2009, 07:17 AM
Bummer - not happening today. The recruiter hasn't gotten all of her physical back yet, so she can't enlist until all that's actually done. Just waiting on the blood test/urinalysis.

Fire Me Boy!
06-03-2009, 07:17 AM
Good fortune to her. She has my lifelong admiration.

Fire Me Boy!

Please bless her.

I'll pass it along, and will do.

BigRedChief
06-03-2009, 07:31 AM
I just wanted to make sure that he understood that there are lots of different ways of being called up. One of my neighbors, in the reserves, had to go spend 6 months in Texas to cover for someone who had been shipped out. But your point about not trusting a recruiter is absolutely correct, and I wouldn't buy the plenty of volunteers as that doesn't seem like information a recruiter would really have.

FMB - I'm not trying to talk you two out of it anyway, I really just want you to have the right expectations going in.
And my point also. You know whats best for you, not us.

I've made some decisions in my life that others thought were pretty bad at the time. Sometimes they have been right, sometimes they were wrong. But they were still my decisions. The freedom to choose our own paths is a wonderful thing. Again, best of luck with this new path.

Fire Me Boy!
06-03-2009, 07:39 AM
I just wanted to make sure that he understood that there are lots of different ways of being called up. One of my neighbors, in the reserves, had to go spend 6 months in Texas to cover for someone who had been shipped out. But your point about not trusting a recruiter is absolutely correct, and I wouldn't buy the plenty of volunteers as that doesn't seem like information a recruiter would really have.

FMB - I'm not trying to talk you two out of it anyway, I really just want you to have the right expectations going in.

Appreciate it.

Fire Me Boy!
06-27-2009, 02:44 PM
Well, it finally done. She was sworn in this morning, and she's officially a member of the AFR. Not sure on basic and tech dates, but it should be sometime in July.

Hydrae
06-27-2009, 02:50 PM
Well, it finally done. She was sworn in this morning, and she's officially a member of the AFR. Not sure on basic and tech dates, but it should be sometime in July.

My son is in Fort Knox going through Army basic right now. He left about 2 weeks ago. It is weird not having him around the house (he is 17, birthday next week, one more year of HS to complete). We did get a letter from him yesterday, it sure was good to hear from him.

patteeu
06-27-2009, 03:05 PM
My son is in Fort Knox going through Army basic right now. He left about 2 weeks ago. It is weird not having him around the house (he is 17, birthday next week, one more year of HS to complete). We did get a letter from him yesterday, it sure was good to hear from him.

Did he take advantage of any of the loose married women hanging around the base or wasn't he lucky enough to go through basic near an AF Reserve training facility?

Just kidding, FMB. :Poke:

Bowser
06-27-2009, 03:32 PM
To answer an earlier question - yes, she can call every day from tech school. And really, Air Force basic is pretty much a joke, especially for those going through it once it's done.

Fire Me Boy!
07-15-2009, 01:37 PM
Damn. Sucky. Recruiter told Mrs. FMB! that unless he gets a cancellation and he can fit her in early, she won't be heading to basic until Feb. 9. That sucks.

Earthling
07-15-2009, 01:40 PM
Best of luck to you and your wife!! :thumb:

ClevelandBronco
07-15-2009, 01:44 PM
Met with the recruiter again this morning, and it looks like Mrs. Fire Me Boy! is going back Wednesday to get signed, sealed and delivered as U.S. property.

No idea when she'll head to boot camp and tech school yet. Could be July, could be August, September or as late as October.

She has every bit of my respect and admiration; as do you Mr. Fire Me Boy! for supporting her efforts.

Fire Me Boy!
07-15-2009, 01:55 PM
She has every bit of my respect and admiration; as do you Mr. Fire Me Boy! for supporting her efforts.

She's making a major decision, and while it's going to be hard she has my love and support. I may be the only person that understands why she's doing this at the age of 26/27 (she's not shared those reasons with anyone but me), but I know why she's doing it, and I'll be here when she gets back.

FAX
07-15-2009, 01:56 PM
She has every bit of my respect and admiration; as do you Mr. Fire Me Boy! for supporting her efforts.

Amen to this.

FAX

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
07-15-2009, 01:57 PM
She's making a major decision, and while it's going to be hard she has my love and support. I may be the only person that understands why she's doing this at the age of 26/27 (she's not shared those reasons with anyone but me), but I know why she's doing it, and I'll be here when she gets back.


That's not that old to join the service. I joined at 25 and there were guys 32-35 who were in my basic training class back in '84.

Plus, compared to Leonard Wood or Paris Island, Lackland AFB is a piece of cake. From comparing Basic Training stories, it seems AFBT is more mind games than physical abuse like Army or Marine basic.

ziggysocki
07-15-2009, 03:25 PM
She definitely looked like a natural aviator in Elliot's bike basket.

One of the funniest quotes on CP!!!!

But seriously...

I got married at 20 to a 19 year old girl who had never left our home town of 3000 people. Her parents gave us 500 bucks as a wedding present and we moved 900 miles away from her family, to a shithole SE Georgia town where she knew no one. I was in a rapid deployment armor unit and was gone more than I was home. She was preggers after the first within months, and had a 11 month old son when I got out. Times were hard, but we survived. Just had our 12 year anniversary and plan on at least another 12. So while it can be tough, not impossible. I am guessing that since she will be in the reserves the 12-15 month deployments are possible but unlikely?? Anyway, good luck. Military life is a great way to get started, or get your life back on track.

Halfcan
07-15-2009, 03:26 PM
Met with the recruiter again this morning, and it looks like Mrs. Fire Me Boy! is going back Wednesday to get signed, sealed and delivered as U.S. property.

No idea when she'll head to boot camp and tech school yet. Could be July, could be August, September or as late as October.

:thumb: Congrats and Best wishes!

Skip Towne
07-15-2009, 03:40 PM
The later she goes to basic the better. Lackland is one hot fucker of mothers in the summer.

Fire Me Boy!
01-22-2010, 10:42 AM
Mrs. FMB! got her orders a couple days ago and heads to Lackland on Feb. 9. She'll won't be back till Aug. 4. :sulk:

Less than three weeks.... it's quickly approaching.

bevischief
01-22-2010, 10:46 AM
Good luck.

teedubya
01-22-2010, 10:51 AM
May the Air "Force" be with you and your wife.

teedubya
01-22-2010, 10:53 AM
Mrs. FMB! got her orders a couple days ago and heads to Lackland on Feb. 9. She'll won't be back till Aug. 4. :sulk:

Less than three weeks.... it's quickly approaching.

Dude, while she is gone, you can be doing your workouts and getting in great shape for her arrival. Should be a huge motivator.

Plus, think of all of the SC strange you can get while she is gone!! ROFL

I kid.

PunkinDrublic
01-22-2010, 11:06 AM
That's one weekend a month 2 weeks a year you have an opportunity for some stange tang.
Posted via Mobile Device

Mr. Plow
01-22-2010, 11:11 AM
Mrs. FMB! got her orders a couple days ago and heads to Lackland on Feb. 9. She'll won't be back till Aug. 4. :sulk:

Less than three weeks.... it's quickly approaching.


Wow. Party is on at Mr. Fire Me Boy's house! A 6 month party baby!!



Good luck to her - and you to you. I'm sure not seeing your wife for 6 months won't be easy.

Bowser
01-22-2010, 11:16 AM
Mrs. FMB! got her orders a couple days ago and heads to Lackland on Feb. 9. She'll won't be back till Aug. 4. :sulk:

Less than three weeks.... it's quickly approaching.

Is her tech school at Lackland, as well?

RJ
01-22-2010, 11:18 AM
Then you're probably in no mood to discuss how to properly season a carbon steel wok.

Hope you both enjoy each other these last few weeks before she goes, FMB. She'll be back before you know it. Time really does fly by.

Fire Me Boy!
01-22-2010, 11:27 AM
Then you're probably in no mood to discuss how to properly season a carbon steel wok.

Hope you both enjoy each other these last few weeks before she goes, FMB. She'll be back before you know it. Time really does fly by.

Shoot me a PM. My cs wok is for the gods. :)

Fire Me Boy!
01-22-2010, 11:28 AM
Is her tech school at Lackland, as well?

Tech school is in Pensacola, FL.

Fire Me Boy!
02-09-2010, 02:47 PM
I took Mrs. FMB! to ship out today. If all goes as planned, I'll see her in eight weeks. :huh:

The Franchise
02-09-2010, 02:48 PM
I took Mrs. FMB! to ship out today. If all goes as planned, I'll see her in eight weeks. :huh:

It'll go fast for her man. Use this time to work on the Biggest Loser thread.

Frazod
02-09-2010, 02:49 PM
It'll go fast for her man. Use this time to work on the Biggest Loser thread.

And increase your grip strength. :D

Delano
02-09-2010, 02:50 PM
And increase your grip strength. :D

LMAO
Posted via Mobile Device

RJ
02-09-2010, 02:52 PM
FMB, I know this doesn't help but.......


My carbon steel wok is looking great!! Thanks!!

Fire Me Boy!
02-09-2010, 03:04 PM
It'll go fast for her man. Use this time to work on the Biggest Loser thread.

I plan to.

And increase your grip strength. :D

That's just wrong...... BRB.

FMB, I know this doesn't help but.......

My carbon steel wok is looking great!! Thanks!!

Glad to hear it! Did the seasoning work out well?