Am I an asshole?

[Buck]

Heres the craigslist ad.

Works great, very efficient for storing shoes of all kinds. The top level can even be used for taller shoes such as boots. Flatter shoes like sandals can be stored under the lower level. This incredible shoe rack can store up to 200 shoes! (of course it depends on the size of the shoes).

The shoes in the picture are for display purposes only and are not included in the price.

http://images.craigslist.org/3nc3ka3l0ZZZZZZZZZ96bca79e077b2511d50.jpg

Heres my response:

Hello there.

My name is Matt and I saw your craigslist ad for the shoe rack.

According to your ad, and I quote, "This incredible shoe rack can store up to 200 shoes! (of course it depends on the size of the shoes)."

To me it looks like it can fit about 16 Shoes at the most. Are we talking about like 200 regular sized shoes? I wear size 12, so my feet are pretty much HUGE. I don't see anyway possible that 200 shoes can fit on there.

Do you live in some kind of Dwarf colony? Thats what it sounds like to me. You know that despite their short stature, most dwarves have average size human feet. Unless they are really, really messed up. But thats just sad when that is the case. I wonder what it would be like to befriend a dwarf. You know what, that sounds like a good idea. This weekend I am going to become a friend of a dwarf, do you know where I can find one? I think you should do the same. You could learn a valuable lesson about how dwarves are people too.

Anyhow, I noticed you live in Hillcrest, are there many dwarves there?

I was wondering if you could take another picture of the shoe rack for me from the opposite angle, I just want to make sure I'm not ripped off like I have been before.

If you are willing to do so, and I approve, I will show up to your house with $10 cash. I have a $10 bill, or 2 $5 bills, or even 10 $1 bills if thats what you fancy. Maybe we can also talk about where to find these dwarves you have been talking about.

Please also let me know of the dimensions of said shoe rack. I really doubt 200 shoes can fit on that junk. Aight then holla.

[Scorp]

Yes you are. NTTIAWWT

[keg in kc]

Dude, why did you type all that crap up? I'm not going to read all that. It's not like we need evidence to answer your query with an affirmative.

[Halfcan]

nice rack

[Buck]

Dude, why did you type all that crap up? I'm not going to read all that. It's not like we need evidence to answer your query with an affirmative.

To be honest, I just did it because some other craigslist person was f'ing w/ a coworker today and I was bored. Theres another one that I did today too.

[keg in kc]

To be honest, I just did it because some other craigslist person was f'ing w/ a coworker today and I was bored. Theres another one that I did today too.I get that. I typed up my reply to you because I'm at work and bored out of my gourd.

[|Zach|]

Link to CL ad?

[The Franchise]

LMAO

[Buck]

The Ad

Cute mod orange sofa needs a new home!

We've only had this for a few months. Its in almost new condition - no stains, no tears. Its a happy orange color that has brightened our living room tremendously.

Converts to a very comfortable day bed! Pillows included.

$200

http://images.craigslist.org/3m33p63l1ZZZZZZZZZ968908079e40a441ec3.jpg
http://images.craigslist.org/3k73p63o8ZZZZZZZZZ9684f01a476a3ff1e31.jpg

My response

Good Afternoon

I am interested in your couch for $200. It looks very nice.

However, there are only 2 pictures of the couch on the ad.

I was wondering if you could possibly send me pictures of the following:

Birds eye view, view of the left side of the couch (only the right side is shown), view of the back, and also a picture of the view from sitting on the couch looking forward (so i can estimate the height).

Also please provide the following dimensions (i need to know if it will fit)
1.Length from the left edge to the right.
2.Height from the floor to the top.
3.Width of the seat (back to front)
4.Diameter and circumfrence of each of the pillows

I trust in good faith that you will give me accurate descriptions and measurements. If all is well I am prepared to meet you with $200 cash. All I have are $1 bills though (I'm a bartender).

Hopefully this will suffice.

Thank you, and God Bless.

Matt

-------------------------------------
This was the first one I did. The header on the CL ad said $200 OBO and my bud offered $170 and they kept saying they were firm on the $200. Then he offered $180 and they kept saying they were firm.

[Joie]

Yes, you're an asshole. General rule: if you have to ask, the answer is probably yes.

I doubt that shoe rack could hold 200 pairs of my two week old daughter's shoes. You know, if she owned shoes. Maybe you could just pile 200 pairs around it.

[The Franchise]

You're an asshole.....but at least you're a funny asshole.

[Ebolapox]

ROFL

sounds like something I'd do. well played.

[Hammock Parties]

You're a Chargers fan. Fuck off. Asshole.

[Buck]

You're a Chargers fan. **** off. Asshole.

Speaking of assholes.....

[Saulbadguy]

When the Wii Fit was released this guy was selling it for $200 (regularly priced $89.99) in my area. I spammed him with text messages, prankdialers and emails.

[Bugeater]

I've been tempted to screw with some of the idiotic postings on craigslist, but I wouldn't want to use my main email account to do it and I'm too lazy to set up another one.

[Buck]

Link to CL ad?

Nawwww

I dont want you to out me.

[|Zach|]

Nawwww

I dont want you to out me.
With the link to the original? I wanna see that show ad. lol

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Yes. I'll go back and read the thread now.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Yeah, you're still an asshole. Be sure to post their responses though. Someone may have half of a wit and surprise you.

[Buck]

Heres the only response I got.

Hi Matt,

Here's a picture of the shoe rack from underneath.

I have to admit that I don't have 200 shoes so I was never able to test...

Jokes aside, if you do need a very basic shoe rack you can give me a call at [erased] and come pick it up at [erased]

thanks,

- Florian

The picture they sent was just the original picture but flipped upside down.

Funny m'fer.

[Hydrae]

Heres the only response I got.

Hi Matt,

Here's a picture of the shoe rack from underneath.

I have to admit that I don't have 200 shoes so I was never able to test...

Jokes aside, if you do need a very basic shoe rack you can give me a call at [erased] and come pick it up at [erased]

thanks,

- Florian

The picture they sent was just the original picture but flipped upside down.

Funny m'fer.

He didn't mention the dwarves. :hmmm:

[Dottefan]

Your an Asshole(I am also)...lol

[JD10367]

I like football and porno and books about war.

[Ebolapox]

He didn't mention the dwarves. :hmmm:

shhhhhhhh! he didn't mention the dwarves because they're building the shoe racks in a sweatshop in the back of that guy's property. you'll fuck up his whole operation by outing him! goddammit, have some respect for dwarve slavers!

[The Franchise]

shhhhhhhh! he didn't mention the dwarves because they're building the shoe racks in a sweatshop in the back of that guy's property. you'll fuck up his whole operation by outing him! goddammit, have some respect for dwarve slavers!

THIS......YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!

[JD10367]

Did someone say dwarves?

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9AgGFucRUm4&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9AgGFucRUm4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[badgirl]

Looks like about 10 pairs of regular shoes would fit, maybe 12. Why call that a shoe rack it just looks like a regular shelf of some kind. If they had put canned foods on it they would have called it a pantry.

[Frazod]

I'll remember this the next time you make a simple typo. :D

[Skip Towne]

Yes, you're an asshole. General rule: if you have to ask, the answer is probably yes.

I doubt that shoe rack could hold 200 pairs of my two week old daughter's shoes. You know, if she owned shoes. Maybe you could just pile 200 pairs around it.

It didn't say 200 pairs, It said 200 shoes

[Buck]

I'll remember this the next time you make a simple typo. :D

I don't make typos.

[Kyle DeLexus]

did you do a search for 200? First 200 shoes then $200, and yes you are an asshole.

[Buck]

did you do a search for 200? First 200 shoes then $200, and yes you are an asshole.

No.

I searched for Shoes.

The first time I got the link from a friend.

One of my other friends emailed that same person (orange couch person) saying that they were deaf and that the couch was perfect for them.

Pretty funny.

[88TG88]

This is why I never use CL.

too many assholes

[Rausch]

This is why I never use CL.

too many assholes

HUGE understatement...

[LaChapelle]

..and corny.

[Adept Havelock]

Probably, but so am I. :shrug:

[JD10367]

Sometimes, I'll say something, and my wife will say, "That's not very nice." And I'll immediately respond, "Well, I'm not a very nice person." :shrug:

[Cannibal]

You're not an asshole, but you're not very funny.

Sorry to inform you.

[KCChiefsMan]

I was bored one day and created this ad, and no that is not a pic of me. I just google imaged "ugly guy"

https://accounts.craigslist.org/post/shwpst?pii=1174877518&db=lv

it got like 100 responses, of course all were BS

[Buck]

More Craigslist Fun!!!

Here is the Craigslist Job Listing


North County Biotech Company has an opening for a conscientious, detailed-oriented person to assist in independent experiments on R&D projects. Assists in developing new products and processes for the Production and Enzyme Departments.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
* Processes and manufactures products from various sources including human and animal blood, blood components and tissues.
* Performs directed experiments for the development of new products and processes.
* Helps to develop new products, troubleshoot old products and improve process.
* Maintains laboratory notebooks and data within all regulatory requirements.
* Performs appropriate maintenance on equipment in R&D and maintains all relevant maintenance logs.
* Orders and maintains appropriate stock on chemicals and supplies for the R&D Department.
* Writes new production and other relevant documentation resulting from R&D projects.

MINIMUM Qualifications:
. B.S. /B.A. degree in chemistry, biology, biochemistry, or closely related field plus 1 - 2 years experience in IVD or clinical chemistry or research.
Meticulous attention to detail.
Familiarity with cGMP FDA/ISO regulations.

PLEASE SEND SALARY REQUIREMENTS WITH RESUME

Here is my response

Hello,

My name is Jim Gaitown and I'm hot for this job! Well, I'm hot for nearly anything with a job in it!!! LOL :P Unfortunately, it doesn't appear as though I have met all of the minimum requirements for this job, but I more than make up for that with my wit, charm, athleticism, and hotness. Plus I have a near total command of english and typing on the computer I'm good at it. I do not require a chair or a lunch. I'll bring my own stool. I have a mastery of trivia and I have a PhD. in Pop culture!!! LOL. No, really, I do. It's amazing!!! @@. I might have a short attention span, but I'm a hard, hard, hard learner and I stay hard while I'm working. I mean that I work hard all day. I don't take breaks or cut corners. But I have no morals!!!!! Yay capitalism.....!!!!!! :P

Please review the attached resume. I look forward to meeting all of you!!!!! @@

Laters and Kisses!!!

Jimmy "Illdo"

Also attached is the resume

[Buck]

Heres another one...

Craigslist Job Listing

Good at Internet research.

Entrepreneurial spirit.

Conversant with the Arts.

Knowledge of Cult & Classic Film.

Send resume.

We will respond with project details.

Heres my response

Hello,

My name is Dave Bowener. I found this job on the internet. I've found many things on the internet, like Rambo II and Rambo III (still can't find Rambo though). I found a recipe for chicken cordon bleu. I also found an old mix tape with some Phil Collins on it. I found the Harry Potter 6 special Imax teaser trailer (no easy feat) - so I think it's safe to say that I'm in the top ten at internet research. I also spend a lot of time alone having internal dialogues about an interesting range of topics, including how to nurture the entrepreneurial spirit, classic film trivia, art (especially the high Italian Renaissance) and resume building. I've actually written a book on the topic (unpublished). I'm also deaf, but that has never stopped me. I'm a hard worker (that's what she said) and a hard learner.

Thanks,

Dave

Also attached is the resume

[Kyle DeLexus]

I really think you need to get a hobby.

[Buck]

I really think you need to get a hobby.

Screw you. I don't have anything to do on my lunch break at work.

[Kyle DeLexus]

I did think the Spider stuff was good.

[Chiefs=Champions]

Heres another one...

Craigslist Job Listing

Good at Internet research.

Entrepreneurial spirit.

Conversant with the Arts.

Knowledge of Cult & Classic Film.

Send resume.

We will respond with project details.

Heres my response

Hello,

My name is Dave Bowener. I found this job on the internet. I've found many things on the internet, like Rambo II and Rambo III (still can't find Rambo though). I found a recipe for chicken cordon bleu. I also found an old mix tape with some Phil Collins on it. I found the Harry Potter 6 special Imax teaser trailer (no easy feat) - so I think it's safe to say that I'm in the top ten at internet research. I also spend a lot of time alone having internal dialogues about an interesting range of topics, including how to nurture the entrepreneurial spirit, classic film trivia, art (especially the high Italian Renaissance) and resume building. I've actually written a book on the topic (unpublished). I'm also deaf, but that has never stopped me. I'm a hard worker (that's what she said) and a hard learner.

Thanks,

Dave

Also attached is the resume

ROFL

[EyePod]

Without reading what you posted, I'll answer sometimes. I mean you are a Chargers fan...

[suds79]

Are you an asshole? Don't know.

Where you being one there? Yeah probably so.

True the person was off base with their post but to really take the time out to write all that in a reply when you're obviously not interested in the product... Was it really worth it?

[Kyle DeLexus]

ROFL ROFL ROFL I found a good one for you Buck.

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/spo/1225408139.html

Be sure to include "I love your ball bag, what would it take for me to get my hands on it?" or something along those lines.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

LMAO Matt, you are fuckin hilarious. Those job responses were golden.

[bdeg]

ya i loved that resume.

FMeImDeafDinSD

love the name at the top, "deaf" is almost as good a nickname as spider.

[ClevelandBronco]

Of course you're an asshole.

Now I'll read the OP.

:)

[LaChapelle]

I would say everyone can be an asshole at times.

For example: You can adapt your avatar for Bronco fans. You take a Brown paper bag and just cut a mouth hole in it. Horsetail instead of lighting bolt eyebrows optional.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

ROFL ROFL ROFL I found a good one for you Buck.

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/spo/1225408139.html

Be sure to include "I love your ball bag, what would it take for me to get my hands on it?" or something along those lines.

Also make sure you tell them you love the batter all over your face.