WOW. This lady is a BITCH.

[teedubya]

http://www.filthyrichmond.com/2008/06/im-just-trying-to-get-mines.html

I'm just tryin' to get mines!

As we all know, the squealing sow gets the grease. I take advantage of that fact, and of the business principle that “the customer is always right”. I also just like to demean people while they're doing their jobs because I know I can get away with it. If I can unload on a total stranger without getting in trouble, and at the same time open up the possibility for some free shit, I’m gonna do it.

Step one is to get their attention, and there’s a real art to it. I’ll demand that a cashier honor my expired coupons. I’ll use the same cup all week to get refills at a fast food place. I’ll let my kids run around screaming and breaking things. And I’ll abuse a 100% satisfaction guarantee 100% of the time.

When the clerk or server gives me even the slightest attitude or resistance I immediately start in with the personal attacks. You'd think this would preclude me from getting anywhere with these businesses, but no. Nine times out of ten, when all is said and done, I get some certificates for free stuff, or a few items taken off my check. Same goes for charges on my phone bill, bank overdraft fees, you name it! Hell, one time I threw a tantrum at the post office just because they wouldn’t sell me any single lickable stamps.

This is my way of demanding the royal treatment. It’s nothing personal. The employees are just pawns in my game. They realize early on that they’re powerless to stop me, and they can’t even give me much in the way of free stuff anyway. All they can do is try to calm me down, take my abuse for as long as they can tolerate it, and try to hold the line.

The trick is to bring the situation to head early on, and before you know it you’ll be talking to a manager. Be calm when you speak to management, and completely misrepresent what just happened between you and the associate. They’ll be all apologies, and start offering you things just to shut you up, or as they put it, “to make up for your inconvenience”. The best luck is usually with chain restaurants and stores. Most small business owners do their own managing. Small businesses are often bleeding money as it is, so they’re cheap. They’re also dicks to unhappy customers because they tend to take every complaint about their business personally.

Earlier this month, after cashing my child support check, I decided to take the kids to a Mexican restaurant. My oldest ordered a plate of nachos, and the rest of us ordered combination platters. When we were getting near done eating I looked over our plates to see what I’d be able to get taken off the check. The nachos were eaten down to near the bottom of the plate, and I noticed that the heat and cheese had made some of the bottom chips soggy. I got these mother****as!

When the man came to offer us dessert I pointed out that my baby got soggy nachos, and that we would like that removed from the check. He said something about the nature of nacho plates, but I cut him short by loudly reminding him that I was not born yesterday. He began to open his mouth again, but I interrupted him before he started. I hit him with a one of my classic obscenity-laden insults. He glared for a moment, then stormed off silently to get the manager.

When the manager showed up I calmly told him that the waiter had brought us dirty glasses and silverware. I also told him that we had complained about the nachos as soon as they were served and that the waiter had done nothing. The manager was all apologies. He advised us that the nachos and our drinks would be taken off the bill. That worked for me, because those Cadillac margaritas were expensive!

We waited for the check after he walked away, and soon we could hear the waiter getting a stern talking-to at the back of the restaurant. The red-faced waiter then returned and silently tossed the check on the table and walked away. Was that so hard? It felt good to leave him a two dollar tip. He earned it by taking it like a man! Of course my kids got mad at me because I “always embarrass them in public”. They don’t realize what it takes to be a single mom these days.

[teedubya]

http://www.filthyrichmond.com/2009/06/you-cant-handle-tip.html

You can't handle the tip!
Jocelyn Testes-Harder

Every so often the subject of tipping etiquette comes up, and the "experts" who respond always seem to be members of the service industry. So of course they tell you to tip a minimum of 20%. You can ask a hooker what they think is fair for a dry hand job and they're gonna tell you $20. But you could probably negotiate a wet one at last call in exchange for a $6 Long Island Iced Tea!

And don't even get me started on all the well paid folks out there who think they deserve a tip. I will never tip salon employees, clerks, or cabbies. These jerks make plenty of money, and shouldn't be demanding a handout for the job they were paid to do! Bartenders and servers, on the other hand, make like $2 per hour, and therefor deserve some consideration.

Still, some servers deserve absolutely nothing. But rather than stiff them I think you're better off leaving them an insulting amount. Like this one steak place we visited in downtown Richmond. My family walked in and were seated quickly. I had to make an trip to the bathroom, so I broke off from the group on the way to our table. On my way back I happened to overhear two waiters talking at the back.

One of them said that he recognized "that bitch". Another one said "Ugh, I know. She's worse than the Canadians!" Which I thought was weird because we don't get a lot of Canadian tourists around here. Then a waitress, who had also overheard them, said, "That's what you guys get for expecting the worst!" and she offered to take our table.

I walked around the dining room so as not to be seen, and the waitress arrived to take our drink orders. She was smiling, but I detected some sort of contempt in her eyes. I admit that she kept up with our constant demands for more water and lemons (to make our own lemonade!) and tarter sauce. But somehow I just knew that she was condescending me, if only on a subconscious level.

I didn't want her to think that I was too dense to notice, so when we were done I left her a dime as a tip. Then we walked out nice and slow so I could see her face. She picked it up off the table and stormed off. Apparently the manager decided to take up for her, because he chased us out into the parking lot yelling, "Excuse me! You forgot your dime!". I faked surprise and embarrassment, then slapped him on his mouth when he got close.

Of course sometimes you get really good service, like a bartender who slips you free drinks, or a waitress who forgets to charge you for something. In that case I'll tip as much as 10%, plus I'll leave them a little treat, like a Ricola lozenge, or an old lighter that still has some juice in it. If the waiter is fun and has a good personality I might even play a silly trick by laying their tip in something wet, or hiding it in the salt shaker.

When it comes to actual tipping amounts, here are my own guidelines:

Food: 50 cents per person. Subtract 10 cents for every item that isn't as good as you could have made at home, and another 20 cents for every minute you have to wait for something that you spontaneously desire at any given moment.

Drinks: 10 cents for opening a bottle or pouring a draft. 25 cents for mixed drinks, a pitcher of beer, or a bucket of bottles.

Takeout: Nothing. In fact, go ahead and swipe a buck or two from the tip jar when the cashier has her back turned to bag up your order from the kitchen.

There's one last thing to do before you lay that tip money down. You might not know that servers are allowed to claim whatever they want to the IRS, so they only claim a fraction of their actual tips! That's why I suggest you tip a pretax amount. Figure out the tip they deserve, then deduct around 30% from it. That way it's fair for everybody.

[teedubya]

What do you expect from someone named Testes-Harder

and looks like this...

[88TG88]

Take a look at her pic then you'll understand why shes bitter.

[JuicesFlowing]

I stopped reading when I realized this wasn't a thread about:http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/3522/images1toj.jpg

[KCChiefsMan]

I hope that lady dies in a fire, tomorrow.

[Pioli Zombie]

Good thing you posted a photo. I was scared it was my ex.
Posted via Mobile Device

[mikeyis4dcats.]

gotta be fake.

[KCChiefsMan]

gotta be fake.

I seriously doubt it is. I used to be a waiter, trust me, it's not fake.

[ChiefJustice]

I seriously doubt it is. I used to be a waiter, trust me, it's not fake.


Yeah...I have known people just like this.

[googlegoogle]

Some of you need to summarize these lengthy stories.

[Frazod]

Says she's an office manager. How'd you like to have to work for this twat? Good God Almighty. :eek:

[mikeyis4dcats.]

I seriously doubt it is. I used to be a waiter, trust me, it's not fake.


wanna buy a bridge?



Think about her name. Obviously fake. Read her posts. Obviously too high-brow to be redneck trash (at least to the point she'd have you believe she is).

This is a blog made by someone who is lambasting people who act like this.

[Discuss Thrower]

The "Ricola lozenge" and making of the lemonade was the tip-off for me that this was a tongue-in-cheek blog meant to lampoon the sorry ass sacks of shit who engage in such behavior.

That being said, I'm scared as shit that people in the restaurant bidness will fuck with me so I tip probably on the over generous side. But, in a karmic way it works out, I cannot recall ever getting horrible service and at a local establishment one waitress will recognize me and recall my usual order before I even sit down. I feel like that's something lost with the proliferation of chain restaurants in that the people working them have no reason / means to create a "relationship" with their customers.

Ah well, times are changin'.

[KCChiefsMan]

wanna buy a bridge?



Think about her name. Obviously fake. Read her posts. Obviously too high-brow to be redneck trash (at least to the point she'd have you believe she is).

This is a blog made by someone who is lambasting people who act like this.

well ok, but people like that do exist.

[Tylerthigpen!1!]

Sounds like a satire to me.

[crazycoffey]

Yeah...I have known people just like this.


More of them than you'd like to realize, certainly more dirty customers like this than dirty cops in your town.... LOL

[Hootie]

this is super fake just so you know

[Hootie]

wanna buy a bridge?



Think about her name. Obviously fake. Read her posts. Obviously too high-brow to be redneck trash (at least to the point she'd have you believe she is).

This is a blog made by someone who is lambasting people who act like this.
Exactly.

[crazycoffey]

this is super fake just so you know

Yeah, so?

[Hootie]

Yeah, so?

It's funny, because it was obviously done by a jaded waiter/waitress...

Some people do some of that shit...but most of the time something actually is wrong...something so minor a person with common sense would just let go...but some people are really fucking stupid.

My roommate got stung two weeks ago for not carding minors...got fired and had to pay a $300 fine...owner flipped and now we have a chick who cards EVERYONE no matter what...I kid you not...she carded an 80 year old man...who didn't have an ID...and then she wouldn't serve him.

[Hootie]

and then...a brand new girl (my roommates replacement) is working...she comes up to me, looks like she's about to cry...I ask, "what's wrong?"

...

"I forgot to card that table! Am I going to get fired?"

I tell her I'll go check it out...

I go over there...45-50 year old man.

These are the people I work with.

[Hootie]

It's really quite hilarious, though...

Interacting with a number of people as dumb as the people I work with is a MAJOR self-esteem boost...

When I moved from Bloomington to Champaign...I was upset because I was leaving all of my booty calls behind...the self-esteem boost from my new job has gotten me an entire new flock of easy idiots...in a brand new town.

[Katipan]

It's funny, because it was obviously done by a jaded waiter/waitress...

Some people do some of that shit...but most of the time something actually is wrong...something so minor a person with common sense would just let go...but some people are really ****ing stupid.

My roommate got stung two weeks ago for not carding minors...got fired and had to pay a $300 fine...owner flipped and now we have a chick who cards EVERYONE no matter what...I kid you not...she carded an 80 year old man...who didn't have an ID...and then she wouldn't serve him.

You know full well that business could lose their liquor license for that stupid crap. I'm sure you took a food handlers class or had a state liquor rep come give a spiel. And lets rag on the new girl who undoubtably was told why the other idiot got fired and was probably told to card everyone.

[Al Bundy]

This is fake, but there are people who do that sort of stuff. They get away with all sorts of crap at the place I work. Short of the yelling and personal insults, if they get to that point I either tell them they cannot use the language or tone, or I escort them to the door.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

If I was a waiter I swear I'd keep a few bags of you know what handy. They would work good in a complemintary Margarita

[Hootie]

You know full well that business could lose their liquor license for that stupid crap. I'm sure you took a food handlers class or had a state liquor rep come give a spiel. And lets rag on the new girl who undoubtably was told why the other idiot got fired and was probably told to card everyone.

I know full well you don't card 50-80 year old people...ever.

The 80 year old man had to speak to a manager to get a beer...the dude had a fucking walker. This is not a joke...this is a true story.

[Hootie]

the place I work at was built in the early 70s...

The bar is about 4 feet tall...the only way to enter the bar is to duck beneath the 4 feet bar and kind of crawl in...I'm 6'3" and it's about impossible for me to get under that thing...

One day I was talking about the brilliance of the design and how I wanted to meet the guy who came up with that idea...the idiot girl I've been talking about told me..."well it was built in the 70s"...

To which I replied..."so you think this was a good idea in the 70s?"

To which she said..."well people were a lot shorter back then..."

And I say..."how much shorter do you think they were?"

"A foot at least..."

She was dead serious.

She's 5' tall.

I asked her how tall her mother was...

5'3" was the answer.

I wondered if she could put 2 and 2 together...

She couldn't.

[milkman]

the place I work at was built in the early 70s...

The bar is about 4 feet tall...the only way to enter the bar is to duck beneath the 4 feet bar and kind of crawl in...I'm 6'3" and it's about impossible for me to get under that thing...

One day I was talking about the brilliance of the design and how I wanted to meet the guy who came up with that idea...the idiot girl I've been talking about told me..."well it was built in the 70s"...

To which I replied..."so you think this was a good idea in the 70s?"

To which she said..."well people were a lot shorter back then..."

And I say..."how much shorter do you think they were?"

"A foot at least..."

She was dead serious.

She's 5' tall.

I asked her how tall her mother was...

5'3" was the answer.

I wondered if she could put 2 and 2 together...

She couldn't.

So, just how uncoordinated and out of shape are you that makes it hard for you to duck under a 4' bar?

[Hootie]

She's 20 years old...

She told me she had worked at McDonald's for 8 years prior.

I said...you've been working since you were 12?

"No, no no...I worked at two McDonald's at the same time for 4 years!"

...

She claims she's had 5 miscarriages, including the first one when she was 13 and her brother beat her ass because she had sex with a 35 year old.

Fortunately, the geniuses finally fired the idiot for fucking up for the 50th time this week on Friday...

While I will miss the entertainment/self-esteem boost...I thank god she is gone. Probably Badgirl's daughter or something.

[Hootie]

So, just how uncoordinated and out of shape are you that makes it hard for you to duck under a 4' bar?

It was approximate, man...

But my best friend Nate works there, he's 5'10" and built...you should see him try and waddle under there...it's almost painful.

I'm not out of shape or uncoordinated...it was just a terrible, terrible design that led to a funny story about how we were all midgets in the 70s.