The Marriage Update...

[oldandslow]

With the pain of MTG 10 and Burt on full display (to whom I offer my deepest sympathy) many of you youngsters are probably thinking this whole institution of marriage should just go away.

Well, I just have to offer the other side of the coin. I have been married 44 years to the same woman. During those 44 years I have never strayed - not once. This AM at about 5:00 she turned over to me and said, "You know, I really love you. Still. I think I am going to prove it." Not to be graphic, but she did. That woman might be 60 years old, but she still can light the fire in an old heart.

A love story...

My wife grew up on a reservation in the SW corner of South Dakota. She never had anything, not even a toilet, no running water, often not enough food, growing up. She never knew her Dad, and her mom ran off with someone else when she was 11. She stayed with other relatives until she was 16 and then left the reservation to find a better life. White/Red relations were horrible in SD in the 50 & 60's and she decided to go South to Oklahoma where she knew more Indians lived, but there were no reservations and the relationship between Whites and Reds seemed better. She finally found a job in OK and settled down to a tough, but doable life.

My Dad was a Choctaw and grew up in the SE portion of OK. Often times missionaries from churches in MO and ARK would show up in "Indian Country" and try to convert the heathens. My dad met my mom (who is white) when he "converted" her on one of the mission trips. From this union I was born. I grew up both white and red, in MO and OK, but had a much easier time of it than my wife. I loved the rodeo and actually became pretty good at team roping. I was on the rodeo circuit when I was 16 and 17.

In 1965 there was a rodeo in Stillwater Ok. I was there and one evening after royally screwing the team roping event, I went into a greasy diner to get a bite to eat. Ok was segregated black and white, but not so much red and white. I kept my hair short then and was pretty much accepted wherever I went. Anyway, after I sat down, the most beautiful woman I ever saw walked up to the table and asked what I wanted.

I said, "I want to marry you."

We wed 6 months later.

We had some tough times. The next year, I was invited by Uncle Sam to spend some time at a little jungle get together in SE Asia. It was good times for all. But she had the harder time. A baby on the way, her man 10,000 miles away, and not a pot to piss in.

We made it, tho.

After I returned home, she worked her ass off feeding the family while I made Uncle Sam pay for school. I got a GED while I was in the service and found out that I was pretty good at academics. I didn't leave Norman Ok until I had a Ph.D. in my hand.

We had three boys. They were all as hard headed as their old man. They all turned out well. The big thing was making sure they never drank. Whiskey is the devil to Indians - (so now you know why I never take up any offers from Kotter or mylonsd to have a drink :)). We homeschooled all of our children because we wanted them to able to grow their hair long in the traditional way and because we are better teachers than exist in most public schools.

I taught in MO, VA and Carolina, but my wife pined for home. She really wanted to live out her last years in the land of her ancesters, so I took a job at SD. She made peace with her mother and she know lives with us.

Four years ago a young Indian woman left her two children at our doorstep. We adopted them. Last Febuary, she had another baby. We adopted it as well. Our lives are full. Our hearts our bursting.

We have found peace in a White/Lakota/Choctaw world. We follow our traditional religions, but go to church every Sunday. We walked the trail of tears in May. I hunt and gather, but also grow a garden the European way. It works better.

I think we have found that if you take the best from all worlds, life can be pretty good.

I won't say that we have never had an argument or that our lives were easy. They weren't.

But I will say that a good marriage provides more satisfaction than anything else one can achieve.

[FAX]

Fantastic post. My compliments and congratulations to you, Mr. oldandslow.

FAX

[BigChiefFan]

God bless you and yours.

[Scorp]

FAIL! What a slow and boring read......I kept waiting for the shoe to drop......at least give the reader something juicy. Nope, notta, zip.

[Katipan]

Show off. :) :) :)

The best things in life require work to attain. Sounds like the two of you worked your asses off.

[Brock]

Congrats on your good fortune.

[burt]

I won't say that we have never had an argument or that our lives were easy. They weren't.

But I will say that a good marriage provides more satisfaction than anything else one can achieve.

There is all kinds of things I could say....but I choose.....I envy you!

[burt]

FAIL! What a slow and boring read......I kept waiting for the shoe to drop......at least give the reader something juicy. Nope, notta, zip.

Scorp, I gotta disagree with you...that post was a big non-fail!!!

[Deberg_1990]

"You know, I really love you. Still. I think I am going to prove it." Not to be graphic, but she did. That woman might be 60 years old, but she still can light the fire in an old heart.



Too much information....

[wild1]

A great marriage is a life's work. Congratulations.

[Rooster]

Wow. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

[Scorp]

Scorp, I gotta disagree with you...that post was a big non-fail!!!

Well, I hope for f*ck sakes the movie is better then the book. :drool:

[Mr. Plow]

The best things in life require work to attain.

I hate that. I want things to just fall into my lap.

[the Talking Can]

i'm envious

[Huffman83]

Cool story. My wife and I are still in the "newly wed." phase. It'll be 2 years in September. (4 seasons of Chiefs football around her...and she still puts up w/ me.) It still seems like last month that we got married.

It's also cool how much you respect your heritage and hers.

I'm a white mutt of Irish and German descent. My heritage involves booze and genocide.:shrug:

[burt]

Well, I hope for f*ck sakes the movie is better then the book. :drool:

well.....there was that sex scene...........

[burt]

Cool story. My wife and I are still in the "newly wed." phase. It'll be 2 years in September. (4 seasons of Chiefs football around her...and she still puts up w/ me.) It still seems like last month that we got married.

It's also cool how much you respect your heritage and hers.

I'm a white mutt of Irish and German descent. My heritage involves booze and genocide.:shrug:

um.....choose the booze. Genocide is not nearly as good as booze.....I think.....

[DaKCMan AP]

Nice post and good story. Congrats on 44 years!

[seclark]

great thread...i'll toss in my story.

met my wife in high school. we started dating when i was 16 and she was 15.

when my father got transferred, i refused to move away w/my family. i'd already gone to 13 different schools and was tired of it. moved in w/a friend and started working on his family farm.

we dated for 3years. i started college and got a night time job at the local hospital as a network system admin. we got engaged and planned on getting married after we both finished school. didn't work out that way.

we got pregnant and got married at ages 19 and 18. had twins that were in the hospital for 2months before they could come home. i think back now and wonder how we made it. there never seemed to be any food in the fridge, but we always had something to eat. support from both our families kept us going. it was rough.

in 1981, she saw an ad for a programmer in the local paper and wanted me to apply for the job. i knew the g.m. of the company and said no way in hell i'd work for him, even if he would hire me. she made up my resume and sent it in without me knowing about it. they called, i interviewed and got the job. been there for 28 years.

we've come a long way from renting a shitty run down trailer and driving a car that i'd sit in and say a prayer every night that it would start so i could get to work.

we raised 3 beautiful children that in my opinion have grown up to start their own successful lives. 4 grandchildren that brighten our lives just thinking about them.

i wake up every morning loving her more than i did the day before. it hasn't been easy, but we've done it together and it's something we're proud of.

sec

~she's a real b@tch about me mowing the yard though

[ChiTown]

Very cool story. Thanks for sharing, and congrats on your life success.

[burt]

i wake up every morning loving her more than i did the day before. it hasn't been easy, but we've done it together and it's something we're proud of.

sec



sec....livin' the dream! Congrats, sec....once again I have envy!

[Frazod]

Great story. :thumb:

And I drove through Pine Ridge when I went to see the Wounded Knee Memorial. It's still awful.

[Adept Havelock]

Thank you for sharing that, oldandslow. Congrats! :clap:

[Phobia]

This might be the best thread on the Planet. Too bad it will never see 10,000 posts.

My marriage is solid. I expect to grow old with my wife. My first is a well-documented, miserable failure with plenty of blame to go around.

I also got a call this morning from a woman who wants to remodel 3 bathrooms in her home. I'm encouraged. We need this job so say a prayer for wisdom that I'll be able to offer some design strategies that work for her and we'll find a price within her budget that leaves me a fair profit on my end.

[Iowanian]

Nice story.


Mine is a little different. My parents put on yet another royal ball, hoping to find me a wife and this blonde bombshell arrived, but ran away just before midnight....I had my royal steward seach the land far and near until he found the humble farm girl whom the glass slipper belonged, and brought her to my castle where we live happily ever after. Our 2 children, Hanzel and Grettle are both curious to a fault, but I don't expect any trouble as we've taught them to avoid strangers. I'm hoping the king will keep his job for another 30-40 years so I can continue to frolick in the Glade by the brook with the princess of Iowania.

[Skip Towne]

Nice story.


Mine is a little different. My parents put on yet another royal ball, hoping to find me a wife and this blonde bombshell arrived, but ran away just before midnight....I had my royal steward seach the land far and near until he found the humble farm girl whom the glass slipper belonged, and brought her to my castle where we live happily ever after. Our 2 children, Hanzel and Grettle are both curious to a fault, but I don't expect any trouble as we've taught them to avoid strangers. I'm hoping the king will keep his job for another 30-40 years so I can continue to frolick in the Glade by the brook with the princess of Iowania.

I thought your sister brought her home.

[Huffman83]

My wife actually hated me when she first met me. She used to date a friend and another local musician. When I first saw her I thought she was absolutely beautiful. But she was dating a friend at the time, I didn't want to really bother chatting her up and act very friendly. She asked me a question regarding the black flag button on my jacket. But because of who she was dating it was actually shocking that she didn't know what the 4 bars meant. So I said in a joking way, "Hey mike...your woman doesn't know who Black Flag is...WTF!?!?"

When they left she looked at her then boyfriend and said, "I hate that guy."

Then fast forward to a few months later. She attends a show I'm playing at. I'm somewhat of a prick in real life, but I'm a huge prick when I play. So part of my performance art involved going over to the bar and drinking every drink in my sight then spitting it out on the audience. She got hit quite a bit w/ the booze.

3 Months later, she breaks up w/ the guy and at the end of the week we start dating.

[Jenson71]

I thought your sister brought her home.

I thought his wife was his sister.

Sorry, I shouldn't ruin the good feelings with any teasing. It's nice to hear some good things.

[gblowfish]

My parents have been married for 54 years.
I'm only on year 15.

55% of marriages end in divorce. But some of them work out pretty well...

[Mr. Flopnuts]

My story is too short to tell. We'll celebrate 5 years of marriage in September, and 7 years together at the end of this month. I'm lucky, blessed, and thankful for every single day I have with my beautiful, patient wife. Congratulations to you sir, we hope to achieve a lifetime of happiness and love. What a great change of pace from the average thread around here in the last couple of months.

[Iowanian]

Skip is on the ball.....I was a wise guy in the other, so I had to try to be an equal opportunity clown.



Truth.
I've had some good teachers on this subject.
My grandparents on my mom's side died when I was young. My grandparents on my Dad's side fell in love after he returned from WWII, struggled as share croppers and worked their way up, remaining married and growing happier each year from what I could see, until he passed Memorial day weekend.

My dad met my mom because she was the shy roomate taken by my outgoing aunt at college. She came to visit with my aunt on the farm and work for a summer. While there were other pursuers, my dad proved the most persistent, and they've proven a long, solid example of what marraige should be. Excellent role models in this regard.


I attended the same college, and later, so did my sister. My outgoing sister, eventually took a quiet roomate/friend whom she brought home to visit. I'd seen the future Brideowanian while I was visiting with another, less attractive, meaner girlfriend of the moment and knew I should consider a trade.

a few months later, after I'd gotten rid of that girl.....and prepared a life of debauchery and womb-wrecking, my plan was interupted, as the same girl and some others, came home with my sister for New Years eve festivities.

This time, it was different. Unlike the others, the tingle wasn't near my zipper.....it was higher and more intense. I'd heard stories of being struck by she-lightening but hadn't felt it.....I knew in minutes this one was different. We began dating that night, and to my disappointment of her rejection to my physical advances made the hunt mor challenging and worthwhile. We hitched up 3 years later, and now have 2 of the loudest, busiest, sparkling girls roaming our almost remodeled home.

Its not always easy after nearly 10 years together, and I'm not always the most thoughtful or easiest to tolerate, but she does a pretty good job of putting up with me and I'm glad for that. Most days ARE easy, but its the hard days that forge the strong welds of a good marraige. I'll never cheat on her.

I married up, and I'm pretty happy about that.

I tell others she came home with my sister, saw and stalked me until I got too tired to run, I tell her I stick around because of the yearly payments from her folks, but it's not the truth. I tell her friends, family and coworkers that she won't buy their raffle tickets because she already won the Husband lottery, but I'm the winner in this story.

[burt]

With the pain of MTG 10 and Burt on full display (to whom I offer my deepest sympathy) many of you youngsters are probably thinking this whole institution of marriage should just go away.


Thanks for your kind thoughts. I believe their are many sides to most things and appreciate you showing the "other" side of marriage.

[Inspector]

Wow....Thought I was reading about my own marraige for a second. Lots of things in common. Everything from the very heavy native American heritage to knowing that women in their 60's can still rock our world when we love them as we did in the beginning. We have 5 sons though but they have blessed us in so many ways, from their own success to the beautiful grandkids they gave us.

I truly relate to your story and appreciate you sharing it. Marriage can be and often is the very best thing ever in life. I'm sorry for those who don't get to experience it when it's this great!

[38yrsfan]

25 years this June ..... the one and only I'll ever have, met her in the tuxedo shop when I went back home for a friends wedding.

While love definitely helps things go smoothly and provides the spark for the exciting times, commitment to the marriage provides the foundation for the feelings that are essential for a life-long relationship, IMHO.

[DeezNutz]

9 years this fall. And I'm a real pain in the ass to live with, so I count myself among the most fortunate.

[Simply Red]

it's finding that right one, part. :D congrats nonetheless!

[Mr. Flopnuts]

9 years this fall. And I'm a real pain in the ass to live with, so I count myself among the most fortunate.

Boy oh boy, this!

[Old Dog]

22 years this past January and she's still as beautiful to me as she was when we got married

[big nasty kcnut]

My dad was married 3 time first one left him the second last 23 years and had me and my bro. He left my mom after years of her abuses and my mom had some fling but had to take care of her mom and then passed on.
Now my dad happy married 2 years to my step mom. Hope to be married too one day.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Mr. Plow]

My oh my. Time flies by FAAAST. I'm no where near of you....but...

Wife & I will be married 10 years in Feb....12 years together this December.

[wutamess]

You giver the skocker?
Congrats on a great wife.

We're coming up on our 8th and I honestly can't say that there's been a lot of work put into the marriage. We haven't had that 2 yr or 7 yr rut everyone seems to talk about. Hopefully things will get nothing but better.

[Pioli Zombie]

Mawwaige. That dweam within a dweam.
Posted via Mobile Device

[luv]

Love reading threads like this. Congrats to everyone with happy marriages and working together to make it that way.

[burt]

25 years this June ..... the one and only I'll ever have, met her in the tuxedo shop when I went back home for a friends wedding.

While love definitely helps things go smoothly and provides the spark for the exciting times, commitment to the marriage provides the foundation for the feelings that are essential for a life-long relationship, IMHO.

Too bad I am the only one in my, soon to be dismantled, marriage that was committed!

[TrebMaxx]

Great story oldandslow and all the other success stories too.

Been married for 19 years and it seems that it gets better each year. It hasn't always been easy but the tough times always seemed to be caused by variables external to our love for each other, like losing jobs, etc. but we made it through somehow.

Just want to mention this for Burt and MTG, there is still hope you may find the right one. Don't give up total hope. This is my second marriage because my first wife was the same type as what you two had and couldn't seem to keep her legs closed when I was out in the field (army crap).

[burt]

Great story oldandslow and all the other success stories too.

Been married for 19 years and it seems that it gets better each year. It hasn't always been easy but the tough times always seemed to be caused by variables external to our love for each other, like losing jobs, etc. but we made it through somehow.

Just want to mention this for Burt and MTG, there is still hope you may find the right one. Don't give up total hope. This is my second marriage because my first wife was the same type as what you two had and couldn't seem to keep her legs closed when I was out in the field (army crap).

Burt's just glad to be free.

[cdcox]

26 years here. We have one beautiful daughter that has had a rough go of it the last 5 years and counting. It's been tough on all 3 of us. I'm slightly hopeful that things may begin to turn around for the better. I'm looking forward to looking back on this part of our life and say "I don't know how we made it through that time." But our marriage has remained strong through this rough patch and another time or two. The wife and I had a real nice dinner out last night where we talked for 2-1/2 hours solid.

[Halfcan]

Congrats!!!

[Brianfo]

With the pain of MTG 10 and Burt on full display (to whom I offer my deepest sympathy) many of you youngsters are probably thinking this whole institution of marriage should just go away.

Well, I just have to offer the other side of the coin. I have been married 44 years to the same woman. During those 44 years I have never strayed - not once. This AM at about 5:00 she turned over to me and said, "You know, I really love you. Still. I think I am going to prove it." Not to be graphic, but she did. That woman might be 60 years old, but she still can light the fire in an old heart.

A love story...

My wife grew up on a reservation in the SW corner of South Dakota. She never had anything, not even a toilet, no running water, often not enough food, growing up. She never knew her Dad, and her mom ran off with someone else when she was 11. She stayed with other relatives until she was 16 and then left the reservation to find a better life. White/Red relations were horrible in SD in the 50 & 60's and she decided to go South to Oklahoma where she knew more Indians lived, but there were no reservations and the relationship between Whites and Reds seemed better. She finally found a job in OK and settled down to a tough, but doable life.

My Dad was a Choctaw and grew up in the SE portion of OK. Often times missionaries from churches in MO and ARK would show up in "Indian Country" and try to convert the heathens. My dad met my mom (who is white) when he "converted" her on one of the mission trips. From this union I was born. I grew up both white and red, in MO and OK, but had a much easier time of it than my wife. I loved the rodeo and actually became pretty good at team roping. I was on the rodeo circuit when I was 16 and 17.

In 1965 there was a rodeo in Stillwater Ok. I was there and one evening after royally screwing the team roping event, I went into a greasy diner to get a bite to eat. Ok was segregated black and white, but not so much red and white. I kept my hair short then and was pretty much accepted wherever I went. Anyway, after I sat down, the most beautiful woman I ever saw walked up to the table and asked what I wanted.

I said, "I want to marry you."

We wed 6 months later.

We had some tough times. The next year, I was invited by Uncle Sam to spend some time at a little jungle get together in SE Asia. It was good times for all. But she had the harder time. A baby on the way, her man 10,000 miles away, and not a pot to piss in.

We made it, tho.

After I returned home, she worked her ass off feeding the family while I made Uncle Sam pay for school. I got a GED while I was in the service and found out that I was pretty good at academics. I didn't leave Norman Ok until I had a Ph.D. in my hand.

We had three boys. They were all as hard headed as their old man. They all turned out well. The big thing was making sure they never drank. Whiskey is the devil to Indians - (so now you know why I never take up any offers from Kotter or mylonsd to have a drink :)). We homeschooled all of our children because we wanted them to able to grow their hair long in the traditional way and because we are better teachers than exist in most public schools.

I taught in MO, VA and Carolina, but my wife pined for home. She really wanted to live out her last years in the land of her ancesters, so I took a job at SD. She made peace with her mother and she know lives with us.

Four years ago a young Indian woman left her two children at our doorstep. We adopted them. Last Febuary, she had another baby. We adopted it as well. Our lives are full. Our hearts our bursting.

We have found peace in a White/Lakota/Choctaw world. We follow our traditional religions, but go to church every Sunday. We walked the trail of tears in May. I hunt and gather, but also grow a garden the European way. It works better.

I think we have found that if you take the best from all worlds, life can be pretty good.

I won't say that we have never had an argument or that our lives were easy. They weren't.

But I will say that a good marriage provides more satisfaction than anything else one can achieve.

Awesome story. I have also found that marriage is not always easy, but it is very rewarding. Thanks for sharing and proving that the world can be a wonderul place.

[KCChiefsMan]

yes, but people don't have the same values now. Nowadays, it's date for 6 months get married have kids immeidately. 3-5 years later divorce.

[ROYC75]

With the pain of MTG 10 and Burt on full display (to whom I offer my deepest sympathy) many of you youngsters are probably thinking this whole institution of marriage should just go away.

Well, I just have to offer the other side of the coin. I have been married 44 years to the same woman. During those 44 years I have never strayed - not once. This AM at about 5:00 she turned over to me and said, "You know, I really love you. Still. I think I am going to prove it." Not to be graphic, but she did. That woman might be 60 years old, but she still can light the fire in an old heart.

A love story...

My wife grew up on a reservation in the SW corner of South Dakota. She never had anything, not even a toilet, no running water, often not enough food, growing up. She never knew her Dad, and her mom ran off with someone else when she was 11. She stayed with other relatives until she was 16 and then left the reservation to find a better life. White/Red relations were horrible in SD in the 50 & 60's and she decided to go South to Oklahoma where she knew more Indians lived, but there were no reservations and the relationship between Whites and Reds seemed better. She finally found a job in OK and settled down to a tough, but doable life.

My Dad was a Choctaw and grew up in the SE portion of OK. Often times missionaries from churches in MO and ARK would show up in "Indian Country" and try to convert the heathens. My dad met my mom (who is white) when he "converted" her on one of the mission trips. From this union I was born. I grew up both white and red, in MO and OK, but had a much easier time of it than my wife. I loved the rodeo and actually became pretty good at team roping. I was on the rodeo circuit when I was 16 and 17.

In 1965 there was a rodeo in Stillwater Ok. I was there and one evening after royally screwing the team roping event, I went into a greasy diner to get a bite to eat. Ok was segregated black and white, but not so much red and white. I kept my hair short then and was pretty much accepted wherever I went. Anyway, after I sat down, the most beautiful woman I ever saw walked up to the table and asked what I wanted.

I said, "I want to marry you."

We wed 6 months later.

We had some tough times. The next year, I was invited by Uncle Sam to spend some time at a little jungle get together in SE Asia. It was good times for all. But she had the harder time. A baby on the way, her man 10,000 miles away, and not a pot to piss in.

We made it, tho.

After I returned home, she worked her ass off feeding the family while I made Uncle Sam pay for school. I got a GED while I was in the service and found out that I was pretty good at academics. I didn't leave Norman Ok until I had a Ph.D. in my hand.

We had three boys. They were all as hard headed as their old man. They all turned out well. The big thing was making sure they never drank. Whiskey is the devil to Indians - (so now you know why I never take up any offers from Kotter or mylonsd to have a drink :)). We homeschooled all of our children because we wanted them to able to grow their hair long in the traditional way and because we are better teachers than exist in most public schools.

I taught in MO, VA and Carolina, but my wife pined for home. She really wanted to live out her last years in the land of her ancesters, so I took a job at SD. She made peace with her mother and she know lives with us.

Four years ago a young Indian woman left her two children at our doorstep. We adopted them. Last Febuary, she had another baby. We adopted it as well. Our lives are full. Our hearts our bursting.

We have found peace in a White/Lakota/Choctaw world. We follow our traditional religions, but go to church every Sunday. We walked the trail of tears in May. I hunt and gather, but also grow a garden the European way. It works better.

I think we have found that if you take the best from all worlds, life can be pretty good.

I won't say that we have never had an argument or that our lives were easy. They weren't.

But I will say that a good marriage provides more satisfaction than anything else one can achieve.

Props !:thumb:

[stlchiefs]

wow, awesome story. It sounds like you've lived a good life and have a good wife.

[Iowanian]

At some point in this thread, I'm going to feel the overwhelming urge to make a joke about an unspecified morning glory ending with a puff of smoke and talcom powder.....but its not appropriate to ruin such a well intentioned and thought provoking thread.




/scanning the bottom of the thread to see if it is sponsored by the makers of Viagra. Putting Starch into long term, happy marraiges since 2002.

[R8RFAN]

Mr. Oldandslow great post

[Fritz88]

You are one of my heroes.

[Hammock Parties]

Anyway, after I sat down, the most beautiful woman I ever saw walked up to the table and asked what I wanted.

I said, "I want to marry you."

We wed 6 months later.

Creepy and beautiful.

[DaKCMan AP]

yes, but people don't have the same values now. Nowadays, it's date for 6 months get married have kids immeidately. 3-5 years later divorce.

I sure as hell am not getting married in 6 months. My girl and I have talked about kids already and both of us don't want them immediately after marriage. We'd want to enjoy the first 2-3 years being married together without rushing into children.

[Manila-Chief]

Great Thread! Thanks for all who have shared.

Illustrates that life is hard, at times, but beautiful results can and do come from the difficult times.

25 years this June ..... the one and only I'll ever have, met her in the tuxedo shop when I went back home for a friends wedding.

While love definitely helps things go smoothly and provides the spark for the exciting times, commitment to the marriage provides the foundation for the feelings that are essential for a life-long relationship, IMHO.

This!!! I fully agree with the commmitmet aspect!

Next month we will celebrate our 46 ann. Couldn't have done life/minisrty with out her!!!

[Phobia]

I sure as hell am not getting married in 6 months. My girl and I have talked about kids already and both of us don't want them immediately after marriage. We'd want to enjoy the first 2-3 years being married together without rushing into children.

Make it 5 years. Children are an even greater commitment than marriage. It's a lifelong commitment you can't simply divorce or disown.

[DaKCMan AP]

Make it 5 years. Children are an even greater commitment than marriage. It's a lifelong commitment you can't simply divorce or disown.

We'll see. I'm not anywhere near marriage, so figure at least 1.5-2 yrs for that. Then another 2-3yrs of marriage before kids. By then the biological clock is already ticking..

[Simplex3]

I sure as hell am not getting married in 6 months. My girl and I have talked about kids already and both of us don't want them immediately after marriage. We'd want to enjoy the first 2-3 years being married together without rushing into children.

Do this. It takes a while to figure out how to deal with eachother. Mixing kids in is tough even when you have a solid base to work from. Never, ever, EVER have kids to try and save your relationship.

[Chiefs_Mike_Topeka]

Will be married 11 years this Aug. Can not ask for a better wife; with all we have been through the last couple of years and we can survive it we can do anything. It has been very hard though at times; but two people trying to grieve for their child and also be there for the other causes alot of conflict and resentment at times. Thankfully we both realize that and do not hold any ill will towards each other when we have those bad times; and they are still many.

We joke that we must be doing something wrong, of at least 15 couples we know that were married within a year of us only 2 of them are still married.

[Pioli Zombie]

I'm going to find a better woman next time. I'm going to hit the AA and Al-Anon meetings.
Posted via Mobile Device

[stlchiefs]

Coming up on the big ONE year in August. First year has been cool and we are hoping to buy a house soon. No plans for kids for at least a few more years. Man there are a lot of old guys on this site :) Congrats to all you old men with your long marriages :thumb:

[JOhn]

I'm going to find a better woman next time. I'm going to hit the AA and Al-Anon meetings.
Posted via Mobile Device

All ready tried, no better.

I find the local convenience store cashiers or daycare providers......20-25 y/o's:p

[Pioli Zombie]

All ready tried, no better.

I find the local convenience store cashiers or daycare providers......20-25 y/o's:p

I'm too old for 25 year olds. I need a divorced codependant who can't judge me because she's broken and broke too.
Posted via Mobile Device

[JOhn]

I'm too old for 25 year olds. I need a divorced codependant who can't judge me because she's broken and broke too.
Posted via Mobile Device

Eh, why let age matter?

I'm a 42 year old, with enough problems of my own. So last thing I need is someone with as many problems, issues & skeletons as I do. I figure, why not screw up someone else life :evil:




ROFL

[Pioli Zombie]

I tried dating sites and even a dating service. They are all fat.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Hammock Parties]

I tried dating sites and even a dating service. They are all fat.
Posted via Mobile Device

Not true. Not true at all.

[crazycoffey]

I tried dating sites and even a dating service. They are all fat.
Posted via Mobile Device

I had some luck with match, didn't find a match, but no problems with fat girls. Everyone I talked to seemed pretty normal, just using available options to find someone. As long as this isn't your only option, it's not a bad tool to keep in the toolbox.

[Rain Man]

Nice post, oldandslow.

Harmony in the home really is a key to happiness. My wife and I have a pretty blissful marriage, and I'm a happy guy. When I was young and kind of stupid, I had a relationship with a woman whose family was pretty screwed up, and this woman had to have a crisis in her life. If there wasn't a real one, she would create one, and it was truly miserable. In retrospect, it was a great day when she finally created the crisis big enough for me to leave and never return.

On an unrelated note, my great-grandmother was a Native American according to family legend, and I was very disappointed when some actual research showed that she wasn't. I always thought it was cool to have some Indian blood, but alas, apparently I don't.

[crazycoffey]

My grandpa on my mom's side was 1/2 Cherokee, that puts some indian blood in my veins.

Oh, and of course props to the OP, I already repped him for it. It's always nice to hear feel good stories too, I think in this day and age we celebrate the chaos more than the harmony....

[JOhn]

I've been sleeping with an Indian woman...... Does that make her part White man now?

[Simplex3]

I've been sleeping with an Indian woman...... Does that make her part White man now?

Probably only if you have leprosy.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I've been sleeping with an Indian woman...... Does that make her part White man now?

I don't know enough about you dude. But if so, obligatory NTTAWWT

[JOhn]

I don't know enough about you dude. But if so, obligatory NTTAWWT
ROFL



Probably only if you have leprosy.

No, but I did make a deposit

[luv]

I had some luck with match, didn't find a match, but no problems with fat girls. Everyone I talked to seemed pretty normal, just using available options to find someone. As long as this isn't your only option, it's not a bad tool to keep in the toolbox.

Dating sites suck. I've gotten dates, don't get me wrong. I just don't like them. Part of me still thinks I can meet someone on my own, I guess.

[teedubya]

I met my HAREM back in 1997... all 7 of us get along great... oh shit, its Wed, I need to hump #5. brb.

[Mosbonian]

oldandslow:

Congrats to 44 years....may you have many more.

As for me....I will celebrate 25 years of marriage in December and will be the first in line to raise his hand to say I married up. I was fresh from a very bitter and painful divorce blaming everyone but myself when I met Mrs Mmaddog...a Christian woman with a strict moral compass. We were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend, and when I called her to ask to meet, my end of the conversation was so full of sarcasm and anger that I am surprised she even agreed to meet for dinner.

What happened was the beginning of a relationship that guided an angry man back to the true understanding of love and committment. I can say without reservation that if it were not for her love, understanding, and belief in me, I would not be successful in my personal and professional life.

We have faced many struggles together in our marriage...infertility....miscarriages....failed adoptions...job losses and moves to other parts of the country....and coming to grips with a child being diagnosed with Autism...all things that might have destroyed most marriages these days.

But for every struggle there has been joy....an adoption...a surprise pregnancy in our late 30's.....a long-desired reconciliation with both of my parents....long awaited vacation trips to places we always dreamed of going...and the good health of our children.

I used to wonder how it was that people still looked at each other after so many years together and saw the same beautiful person they married so long ago....but now I understand.

For all that have shared similar stories..congratulations and may all our marriages last as long as oldandslow.

mmaddog
*******

[Skip Towne]

oldandslow:

Congrats to 44 years....may you have many more.

As for me....I will celebrate 25 years of marriage in December and will be the first in line to raise his hand to say I married up. I was fresh from a very bitter and painful divorce blaming everyone but myself when I met Mrs Mmaddog...a Christian woman with a strict moral compass. We were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend, and when I called her to ask to meet, my end of the conversation was so full of sarcasm and anger that I am surprised she even agreed to meet for dinner.

What happened was the beginning of a relationship that guided an angry man back to the true understanding of love and committment. I can say without reservation that if it were not for her love, understanding, and belief in me, I would not be successful in my personal and professional life.

We have faced many struggles together in our marriage...infertility....miscarriages....failed adoptions...job losses and moves to other parts of the country....and coming to grips with a child being diagnosed with Autism...all things that might have destroyed most marriages these days.

But for every struggle there has been joy....an adoption...a surprise pregnancy in our late 30's.....a long-desired reconciliation with both of my parents....long awaited vacation trips to places we always dreamed of going...and the good health of our children.

I used to wonder how it was that people still looked at each other after so many years together and saw the same beautiful person they married so long ago....but now I understand.

For all that have shared similar stories..congratulations and may all our marriages last as long as oldandslow.

mmaddog
*******

Failed adoptions? How does that happen?

[Bwana]

What a great read, congrats!

[Pioli Zombie]

I've been sleeping with an Indian woman...... Does that make her part White man now?
Indian as in Sqwaw or Indian as in Curry. Either one is a major turn on. The role playing possibilities are endless.
Posted via Mobile Device

[PhillyChiefFan]

I am getting married in Sept. to a great girl, at first I was hesitant to think about getting married but I am sure it's what I want.

Our lives are tough right now too, family wants a big wedding, but nobody seemed to want to pony up the dough so I am paying for it, along with her nursing school bills, c/c bills, cars, rent, and an occational night on the town. We are stressed and sometimes bitter at our situation but we have it so much better than many. So we are grateful.

Thanks for sharing, you give me hope :)

[Fire Me Boy!]

Great story, and thanks for sharing.

My wife and I have been married for 6+ years, so not long really. We're very likely about to enter the roughest part of our marriage to date when she goes off to basic and tech school (she's enlisted in the Air Force Reserves) for 5 months. It'll be a test, but one I'm sure we will pass.

[stevieray]

wierd i was feeling like starting a thread about it too...with so much sadness latlely, this is very refreshing.

I'll have been married for seventeen years in Dec..I can't even put into words how blessed and fortunate I am. I hope all couples can feel the way my wife and I do. other than your kids, nothing means more..nothing.


'our hearts are bursting"

man...what a great line..

[38yrsfan]

yes, but people don't have the same values now. Nowadays, it's date for 6 months get married have kids immeidately. 3-5 years later divorce.

For way to many "child-adults" but not for all .... pretty callous approach to "raising" children but most likely the'll be raised by someone else with that kind of attitude......

so sorry

[Demonpenz]

oldandslows posts are always worth a read

[Mosbonian]

Failed adoptions? How does that happen?

Privately arranged adoptions....at the last minute the Birthmother backs out.

2 Times we had agreements with the Birthmothers to pay for certain expenses and to commit to an Open Adoption....both times at the last moment the Birthmother backed out and changed their mind.

It's a risk that you take.

mmaddog
*******

[BucEyedPea]

Kudos to you o&s, you're a nice guy.

I'm a cynic though. Anyone married that long and still in-love means one of the pair is kissing the other person's arse. :D

[Skip Towne]

Privately arranged adoptions....at the last minute the Birthmother backs out.

2 Times we had agreements with the Birthmothers to pay for certain expenses and to commit to an Open Adoption....both times at the last moment the Birthmother backed out and changed their mind.

It's a risk that you take.

mmaddog
*******

OK, thanks

[MTG#10]

This thread depresses the hell out of me. Why couldnt my marriage have gone this well? Why did my wife have to be a cheating whore? Anyway congrats oldandslow and everyone else bragging about their successful marriages. Dont fuck it up.

[Pioli Zombie]

This thread depresses the hell out of me. Why couldnt my marriage have gone this well? Why did my wife have to be a cheating whore? Anyway congrats oldandslow and everyone else bragging about their successful marriages. Dont fuck it up.
I can get that way sometimes but ultimately it had to do with my selection process at the time. I wanted to be married so bad that I settled on a person I wasn't $adly in love with and she wasn't madly in love with me. We were best friends. We were both from effed up families. But once I was in I was going to make it work. I was a good husband and father. I loved her. Not in love but love. Like they used to say in older generation you learn to love and make it work because you have to. We had kids. It was our responsibility to think beyond ourselves. But she had the modern mentality. If she wasn't completely fulfilled then screw it. Its hard living on Johnson County where evrryone it seems is married and all of life circles around the family. Singles are shit. So I get tired of the marraige talk and the workshops at church and marraige this and marraige that. I knew all that. I was committed. I was going to do anything to make it work.
So fuck me I guess. Nothing a girlfriend won't cure.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Iowanian]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.



Lets go this route.


Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.

[Bugeater]

.What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work?
Separate bedrooms.
Separate vacations.
Separate bank accounts.



I kid. :D

IMO, the most important thing in making it work occurs before the marriage, and that's finding the right person, and getting married for the right reasons.

[J Diddy]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.



Lets go this route.


Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.

You know I've been married 7 years. I've split with her twice mostly because I couldn't deal with her drinking. To make a long story short, she got shit faced one night and swallowed a whole bottle of tylenol pm. Actually just over one year to the day. She hasn't touched a drop since. She has and always will be my best friend. My problem existed with the home life that was created. When we split my son came to live with me.

I think the most important thing is to hold back judgement and think before you speak. I didn't realize that then as the person I was talking to was a raging alcoholic and doubtful she'd remember the conversation. It was night and day afterwards. She was going through alot and if I was the slightest bit insensitive it stung incredibly. In short I learned it was more important to build up then destroy.

[Pioli Zombie]

Separate bedrooms.
Separate vacations.
Separate bank accounts.



I kid. :D

IMO, the most important thing in making it work occurs before the marriage, and that's finding the right person, and getting married for the right reasons.

Now you tell me. We are Divorced and I still feel like Sam Kinison from the wreckage.

I need a good codependant girlfriend to make it all better ;)

Kidding. Sort of.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rausch]

Now you tell me. We are Divorced and I still feel like Sam Kinison from the wreckage.

I need a good codependant girlfriend to make it all better ;)

Kidding. Sort of.
Posted via Mobile Device

You will.

Sorry, bad things will happen in your life.

People will die. People will let you down, take advantage of you, be less than you know they can be.

How that makes you act is a reflection of you, not them...:)

[Fire Me Boy!]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.

Lets go this route.

Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.

There are a few things you should never say. If in the middle of a recurring argument, never, ever say, "Are we gonna go through this again, because if we are I'm gonna need a fuckin' chair."

It. Will. Not. End. Well.

And never take pictures of your wife while she's angry and you think it's funny. That one still pisses Mom off 30+ years later.

[ChiTown]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.



Lets go this route.


Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.

16 yrs of marriage here.

4 Most important in my marriage:

1. Listening.......I mean, REALLY paying attention to your partner and their needs

2. Becoming best friends. It took my wife and I a couple years of marriage, but honestly, we're best friends.

3. Laughter. I make her laugh, and she loves it. Coincidentally, her laughter makes me smile. It's great

4. Our kids. When everything seems to be going to hell in a hand basket, our kids bring us back to level. It's a great, wonderful reminder of what's important and what's not.

You'll notice I didn't say sex. The sex is great and getting better all the time. It's a wonderful connection, but it's NOT what makes our marriage

[BigRedChief]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.



Lets go this route.


Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.
19 years and counting....

Listen, really listen.
Share time/activities together, not just family time.
Make sure to marry someone with the same core religious, family and political beliefs.
People change over time. Hopefully you will change together, adapting to that change is key.

[Mr. Plow]

16 yrs of marriage here.

4 Most important in my marriage:

1. Listening.......I mean, REALLY paying attention to your partner and their needs

2. Becoming best friends. It took my wife and I a couple years of marriage, but honestly, we're best friends.

3. Laughter. I make her laugh, and she loves it. Coincidentally, her laughter makes me smile. It's great

4. Our kids. When everything seems to be going to hell in a hand basket, our kids bring us back to level. It's a great, wonderful reminder of what's important and what's not.

You'll notice I didn't say sex. The sex is great and getting better all the time. It's a wonderful connection, but it's NOT what makes our marriage


5. Weekly haircut appts

[seclark]

I hate seeing a nice, positive thread like this one flounder to get to 100 posts, when drivel about a douchebag trying to get internet chatwhores to fellate him for $100 will go to 10,000 posts.



Lets go this route.


Those with long term, successful relationships.....What are the 3-4 most important factors in making things work? Maybe offer advice on lessons you've learned, even the hard way.

i don't really know how...it's kind of like magic, i guess.
we're best friends.
we don't share all the same interests, but we do support each others interests.
our family comes before ourselves

sec

[ChiTown]

5. Weekly haircut appts

:LOL:

[Iowanian]

Lately, I'm finding myself in the "that wasn't my best idea/move/choice of words" house more often.

Aparently jokes and smartass remarks are not always the best medicine.

[WilliamTheIrish]

Live well, O&S

[BigVE]

Nice thread for a change...except for the usual douchebag wannabe funny guys who troll and post-whore almost every thread.

Been married 18 1/2 years myself. I don't have a cool story to go with it either...it has been difficult and stressful and at times heart-wrenching but after all that has been said and done my family is stronger and healthier because we stuck with it and stayed together instead of taking the "easy" way out and getting a divorce. (that is not to make light of anyone who HAS gotten a divorce...many get divorced over stupid trivial things instead of working through them.)

[Pioli Zombie]

Nice thread for a change...except for the usual douchebag wannabe funny guys who troll and post-whore almost every thread.

Been married 18 1/2 years myself. I don't have a cool story to go with it either...it has been difficult and stressful and at times heart-wrenching but after all that has been said and done my family is stronger and healthier because we stuck with it and stayed together instead of taking the "easy" way out and getting a divorce. (that is not to make light of anyone who HAS gotten a divorce...many get divorced over stupid trivial things instead of working through them.)

Yeah, its the "easy" way out when your spouse informs you she's getting a divorce and that's that and she having an affair and you get screwed over and lose thousands and people judge you and turn from you and your kids are a wreck and ask you why, daddy, why.
Yeah, I'm glad you had a partner that worked with you not everybody does. So before you judge all divorced people
FUCK YOU.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Phobia]

Somebody is a little sensitive.

[38yrsfan]

Yeah, its the "easy" way out when your spouse informs you she's getting a divorce and that's that and she having an affair and you get screwed over and lose thousands and people judge you and turn from you and your kids are a wreck and ask you why, daddy, why.
Yeah, I'm glad you had a partner that worked with you not everybody does. So before you judge all divorced people
**** YOU.
Posted via Mobile Device

Sadly true. It is so very easy for a "woman" to ruin the life of a faithful, committed family man. A simple "It's over, my lawyer says get out". Thankfully I've been spared but I have seen it way to often.

[Phobia]

Heh heh. You can buy Chinese girls to marry in the banner ad at the bottom of this thread.

[BigVE]

Yeah, its the "easy" way out when your spouse informs you she's getting a divorce and that's that and she having an affair and you get screwed over and lose thousands and people judge you and turn from you and your kids are a wreck and ask you why, daddy, why.
Yeah, I'm glad you had a partner that worked with you not everybody does. So before you judge all divorced people
**** YOU.
Posted via Mobile Device

I apologize I guess. I thought that my last sentence kind of cleared that up. I know that there are many people who have NO choice in a divorce especially if its initiated by the other person. I know that there are MANY valid reasons for divorce. I know that not all people who get divorce are taking the easy way out. My point is/was that there ARE MANY people who get married on a whim and figure if it's not perfect and easy then they can just get divorced and move on to the next for any little reason. If the latter applies to YOU then feel free to take offense.

[Phobia]

Well done, BigVE.

[Simply Red]

oldandslows posts are always worth a read

i agree.

[Pioli Zombie]

I apologize I guess. I thought that my last sentence kind of cleared that up. I know that there are many people who have NO choice in a divorce especially if its initiated by the other person. I know that there are MANY valid reasons for divorce. I know that not all people who get divorce are taking the easy way out. My point is/was that there ARE MANY people who get married on a whim and figure if it's not perfect and easy then they can just get divorced and move on to the next for any little reason. If the latter applies to YOU then feel free to take offense.

Ok sorry for the FU. You were talking about my ex ;)

And yes Phobia you might say I'm sensitive. You would be too if you went through it.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Mr. Plow]

Ok sorry for the FU. You were talking about my ex ;)

And yes Phobia you might say I'm sensitive. You would be too if you went through it.
Posted via Mobile Device


If memory serves me right, he has been through it.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Ok sorry for the FU. You were talking about my ex ;)

And yes Phobia you might say I'm sensitive. You would be too if you went through it.
Posted via Mobile Device

Oops.

[Pioli Zombie]

If memory serves me right, he has been through it.

Then he should know better than that.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Phobia]

Then he should know better than that.
Posted via Mobile Device

Better than what? Making an observation that you're sensitive?

[Pioli Zombie]

Better than what? Making an observation that you're sensitive?

Yes and I'm sure you posted it with concern in your heart. Head game elsewhere dumbfuck.
Did that sound sensitive??
Posted via Mobile Device

[Phobia]

It sounded like you're not sure who to be mad at so you're taking it out on me. That's okay. I have broad shoulders. Heap it on.

[Pioli Zombie]

It sounded like you're not sure who to be mad at so you're taking it out on me. That's okay. I have broad shoulders. Heap it on.

Thank you, Phobia.

www.doodie.com
Posted via Mobile Device

[Bugeater]

Hmmm...I see Pioli Zombie keeps posting in this thread, lemme guess...he must be crying about his failed marriage again.

[Pioli Zombie]

Hmmm...I see Pioli Zombie keeps posting in this thread, lemme guess...he must be crying about his failed marriage again.

I am even wearing the lobster bib.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

Would anal copulation be considered a marriage saver?

[Pioli Zombie]

Blessed is the married man whose woman still does oral. My view on the anus is that its engineers designed it as an exit not an entrance.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Pioli Zombie]

I aint whining tonight fellas. Had a hot date with the most georgeous milf evah. I felt like a teenager making out in the theatre. Probably made some teens barf. We weren't even watching Schindlers List!!
Posted via Mobile Device

[gblowfish]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/lf_nm_life/us_couples

In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage, study finds

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.

A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

[MTG#10]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/lf_nm_life/us_couples

In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage, study finds

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.

A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.

The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.

It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.

Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.

A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.

Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Sounds like my marriage was doomed from the beginning. :(

[burt]

taking the "easy" way out and getting a divorce. (that is not to make light of anyone who HAS gotten a divorce...many get divorced over stupid trivial things instead of working through them.)

You know....I read this and just wish my wife didn't do that trivial ingesting of another man's cock in her vagina..... I am just too demanding........:rolleyes:

[ChiTown]

Sounds like my marriage was doomed from the beginning. :(

Conversely, for me, I fall right in line what it takes to be successful in a marriage - according to that survey.

It just takes two people being honest with each other. Do you honestly want to be with one another? Do you honestly want to be in love? And, do you honestly want to do the work that is entailed to make the marriage last? If you can let all your inhibitions go, and answer those questions honestly, it's not that difficult to find and keep the same partner. That, of course, is JMHO.

[ChiTown]

Blessed is the married man whose woman still does oral. My view on the anus is that its engineers designed it as an exit not an entrance.
Posted via Mobile Device

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++1, especially that anus part.

[BigVE]

You know....I read this and just wish my wife didn't do that trivial ingesting of another man's cock in her vagina..... I am just too demanding........:rolleyes:



I explained this post once so I guess if the shoe fits...


Some of you guys think your the only ones who have been through this crap. Nope, its all over the place. Some just don't choose to post their problems and life story all over the internet but I will give you a little tidbit. YES, I have been there and been through many of the same things but luckily (I guess) I had a wife who was willing to change and work through things and I was able to realize that my being a bad husband in many ways contributed (not justified) to her infidelity so I needed to make some changes as well. Some way, some how we have been able to work it out. At first I stayed for the kids sake but over time things have gotten better and I think it will all work out and I know in my heart that my family is better off than if I had just divorced her. Sorry you had problems. Sorry it didn't work out.

[booyaf2]

I explained this post once so I guess if the shoe fits...


Some of you guys think your the only ones who have been through this crap. Nope, its all over the place. Some just don't choose to post their problems and life story all over the internet but I will give you a little tidbit. YES, I have been there and been through many of the same things but luckily (I guess) I had a wife who was willing to change and work through things and I was able to realize that my being a bad husband in many ways contributed (not justified) to her infidelity so I needed to make some changes as well. Some way, some how we have been able to work it out. At first I stayed for the kids sake but over time things have gotten better and I think it will all work out and I know in my heart that my family is better off than if I had just divorced her. Sorry you had problems. Sorry it didn't work out.

Standing right here, shoulder to shoulder with BigVE. Same shoes, same size. I'm sure we're not the only ones here either.