God I miss George Carlin

[Over-Head]

Just got a joke email, and oldie with a bunch of 1 liners, but had a few great Georges in it.


I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down
behind a tombstone.
I said "morning". He said no just taking a shit.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole a bike
and asked him to forgive me


My wife was in labour with our first child.
She was shouting "get this out of me! Give me the drugs!"
She looked at me and screamed, "You did this to me you f**ker,"
I casually replied, "If you remember correctly dear, I wanted to stick it up
your ass but you said it'll be too painful."


I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup.
She told me that I had to quit masturbating.
I asked why and she told me "Because I am trying to examine you."


I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it f**kin start?."

[Barret]

Reminded me of this Gem from Carlin

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[Gonzo]

ROFL he was a funny dude...
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[Archie F. Swin]

I'd like to think I'm familiar much of George's work, yet none of those sound familiar.

[boogblaster]

George is missed ..

[Archie F. Swin]

Reminded me of this Gem from Carlin

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"Whooops!" :clap:

[RiversRunRed]

Amen to this!

[CosmicPal]

R.I.P. George. Always loved you, and this is just one of so many funny skits.

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[CarolinaChiefz]

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole a bike
and asked him to forgive me "

This was great...and so was George...but that's an Emo Philips bit.

[bevischief]

:thumb::LOL::bravo::bravo:

[Archie F. Swin]

R.I.P. George. Always loved you, and this is just one of so many funny skits.

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HOLY FUCKGIN SHIT!!!! ROFL

[Coach]

R.I.P. George. Always loved you, and this is just one of so many funny skits.

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Yeah, I remember this one. I used to have it on VHS awhile back. Jamming in NY if I remember it correctly.

He also bashes on the golfcourses and that being a good location for homeless people. I remember that one.

[whatsmynameagain]

i was wearing my vintage carlin shirt yesterday. the front has his face on the front and the back says, "SIMON SAYS GO FUCK YOURSELF"
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[Adept Havelock]

Never confuse a Canadian Low with a Mexican High.

RIP George. You're still missed.

I'd gladly trade the majority of the comedic "talent" out there for another decade of your material.

[InChiefsHeaven]

Loved Carlin until he got too political. Then frankly he got boring. I saw him in OMaha in the late 80's, and he had at least 2 or 3 rants against the evils of the world that really weren't even funny. I remember thinking "George, just be funny dammit..."

Loved Carlin at Carnegie, and of course, A Place for your Stuff.

[Demonpenz]

picked every joke clean

[gblowfish]

George Carlin was brilliant, the Mark Twain of our generation.

[Over-Head]

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole a bike
and asked him to forgive me "

This was great...and so was George...but that's an Emo Philips bit. OOPs! didn't know came to me as GC quotes.
either way their funny as hell

[Halfcan]

best ever!

[Dave Lane]

My absolute favorite :) Damn Carlin was good.

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[StcChief]

Yes George was one of a kind.... saw him twice 1975. 1984