View Full Version : Life Most brilliant graphic novel concept ever?

10-22-2009, 07:21 PM
Pinnochio: Vampire Slayer

It's so awesome it's killing me:

Thursday, October 08, 2009 04:18 AM Mike Fish Blood-soaked Pullbox
pinocchio1aDon’t you just want to kill all these freakin vampires on your TV these days? There’s so many of them, annoying you like a bad clip of THE VIEW on THE SOUP, you just gotta throw down with one! Whether it be the TWILIGHT drama class, the not-so intimate THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, or just reruns of ANGEL and BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER... wait... did I just say “Vampire Slayer”? Yes, that’s what we need, but... Buffy is busy getting a suntan in the Bahamas, Van Helsing is long retired after Hugh Jackman’s busted portrayal, and Blade is trying to find a way to pay his taxes. Who’s left to kick some fang-banger ass? Let me tell you a little story about a boy, a lie, and his wooden nose.

PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER – Graphic Novel | SLG Publishing | Written by Van Jensen | Drawn by Dusty Higgins

To think, the perfect vampire slayer would be that of a famous story about a wooden puppet who wanted to be a real boy. Why though? Why be a real boy? Life sucks, and you’re handcrafted to kill vampires, ya dimwit! All he has to do is say, “I’m Batman.” BAM! Wooden nose grows into a splintery stake, and SLAM! Right into the black, beating heart of a blood-sucking corpse. And that’s about what PINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER is, and with some good old-fashioned humor to it as well. One could argue it’s a cross between BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and Disney’s version of PINOCCHIO, edgy and full of attitude, but still traditional in the time period and character study. But it doesn’t get too cute, as Pinocchio kills vamps good, and takes every humorous chance he gets in killing poor little Jiminy Cricket. To sum up the idea in a nutshell, I would say it’s fun to look at, but cool to read. Intriguing idea, yes indeed.

pinocchio1aPINOCCHIO: VAMPIRE SLAYER does have its flaws, but somewhat minor altogether. The black and white art from Dusty Higgins can only move it so far from the Sunday funnies page and yet, so distant from being a visual classic as it should be. The art is fun at times, watching Pinocchio go toe to toe with vampires, but other times withdraws any depth or prominence with the storytelling; especially when the panel calls for some drama, it’s hard to really feel it. On top of that, it’s overshadowed by a hilarious retelling of the original Pinocchio story using small, almost stick-figure characters and fourth wall breakers that could make you choke on your potato chips if you’re not careful. For something funny like that to be more memorable than the actual meat of the book is a little hard to dismiss. Lastly, the use of color would probably of help this book more in not only a richer experience for the reader, but could also have made it easier for animators to see this as a possible cartoon on Adult Swim or something. Granted, some will love the CALVIN AND HOBBES feel of the book, others like me want a little more from such a fun and inventive idea.

However, Van Jensen writes with nice pacing and explosive wit that it’s hard not to like the book so much. Pinocchio’s attitude and quick retorts make him more of a Spider-man/Buffy hybrid than such a whiney and helpless character we’ve all experienced as kids. It’s good to see the opposite effect work so well with a character like this, and Van Jensen makes it look like it was easier than a peanut butter and jelly jam sandwich. So if you’re heading on a road trip, have some time to kill in a coffee shop, or just commuting on a train or bus, take this book with you. Not only will the time fly by fast, but you’ll also be smiling at the time of your destination. Just remember, if you decide to become a vampire one day, you might hear a little guy in a cape with a big wooden nose come leaping out of the sky screaming, “I’m a real boy!”

10-22-2009, 07:23 PM
Fucking love it.

Best idea since the Flaming Carrot!

10-22-2009, 07:29 PM
****ing love it.

Best idea since the Flaming Carrot!

Can you imagine the dialogue in the fight scenes as the puppet spouts off one lie after the next as a sort of finishing move for each vampire? From a writer's perspective, it's freaking brilliant. The opportunities are endless.

10-22-2009, 07:31 PM
Can you imagine the dialogue in the fight scenes as the puppet spouts off one lie after the next as a sort of finishing move for each vampire? From a writer's perspective, it's freaking brilliant. The opportunities are endless.

Does Pinnochio get morning wood?

10-22-2009, 07:34 PM
Old joke time.

Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disneyland?

They caught her on Pinocchio's face, moaning, "Lie to me... tell me the truth... lie to me... tell me the truth..."