PDA

View Full Version : Misc Favorite quotes thread


RNR
11-29-2009, 09:44 AM
Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock. ~Wynn Catlin

sparkky
11-29-2009, 09:52 AM
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Hangover Survival Guide

Jack
11-29-2009, 09:56 AM
"The Chiefs will go 16-0"
. . . some long forgotten sports writer

Gonzo
11-29-2009, 09:57 AM
All we're trying to do is win a motherfucking game!

McDaniels
Posted via Mobile Device

Bane
11-29-2009, 10:00 AM
:LOL:
ROFL

Skip Towne
11-29-2009, 10:04 AM
That's not a knife, THIS is a knife. - Crocodile Dundee

stevieray
11-29-2009, 10:07 AM
squeak squeak squeak


Josh McDaniels

Bane
11-29-2009, 10:08 AM
Anything by R Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket.

sparkky
11-29-2009, 10:17 AM
The Outlaw Josie Wales:

Wales: "Trouble seems to follow some men around. I noticed people I like don't live too long."

Chief: "I've noticed people you don't like don't live too long either".


that movie is a QUOTE MACHINE.

Bane
11-29-2009, 10:18 AM
Oh I got it.....
I'll be ya huckleberry Doc Holliday in Tombstone.....

Gonzo
11-29-2009, 10:36 AM
Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?

Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.
Posted via Mobile Device

Quesadilla Joe
11-29-2009, 10:41 AM
“Respect is not given, it is earned, doggone it!” “And they don’t respect us! Nobody respects us! You know what you’ve got to do in that situation?”

“Take it! Take it! Take the respect from somebody!” Dawkins said, hitting himself in the helmet and pacing about like he wanted to jump out of his skin. “Take it!"

BigVE
11-29-2009, 10:42 AM
Kurt Russell in Tombstone, right after he slaps Billy Bob Thorton around: "You gonna do somethin' or just stand there and bleed?"

Bearcat
11-29-2009, 10:42 AM
Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock. ~Wynn Catlin

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to Hell in such a way that you'll actually look forward to the trip.


A favorite of mine...

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r143/bearcat2002/TUNNEL-1.jpg

Fire Me Boy!
11-29-2009, 10:45 AM
That's not a knife, THIS is a knife. - Crocodile Dundee

Actually, the quote is "That's not a knife... *That's* a knife."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01NHcTM5IA4

Fire Me Boy!
11-29-2009, 10:46 AM
Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?

Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.
Posted via Mobile Device

ROFL

Second only to "Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you."

Noss
11-29-2009, 10:48 AM
Mercury Morris said this after the Giants beat New England in the Super bowl:

"This just goes to show that any team can beat any other team any given Sunday, except for in 1972."

dilligaf
11-29-2009, 10:52 AM
In the immortal words of The Nature Boy Ric Flair, "To be the man, you got to beat the man!"

BigVE
11-29-2009, 10:54 AM
In the immortal words of The Nature Boy Ric Flair, "To be the man, you got to beat the man!"

"WOOOOOO!"

Stewie
11-29-2009, 11:16 AM
My girlfriend looks just like Kim Bassinger, but she's fatter and has a different face.

RNR
11-29-2009, 04:30 PM
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.
Willis Player~

rambleonthruthefog
11-29-2009, 04:31 PM
everything from The Big Lebowski

angelo
11-29-2009, 04:57 PM
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Winston if you were my husband I would poison your drink.

Churchill replied: Madam if you were my wife I would drink it.

Ang

RNR
11-29-2009, 04:58 PM
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Winston if you were my husband I would poison your drink.

Churchill replied: Madam if you were my wife I would drink it.

Ang

LMAO that is a great quote!

angelo
11-29-2009, 05:04 PM
two tears in a bucket Muther F**kit :Lady Chablis


Ang

Archie F. Swin
11-29-2009, 05:15 PM
"...we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically." ~Neil Degrasse Tyson

Archie F. Swin
11-29-2009, 05:16 PM
"To say that atheism is a religion is to say that not collecting stamps is a hobby."

chefsos
11-29-2009, 05:20 PM
Paraphrased:

A good leader convinces you that there's more than one way to skin a cat.
A great leader convinces the cat that this is a good idea.

Hog Rider
11-29-2009, 05:47 PM
" Don't worry kid, I aint gonna kill ya. You're the only friend I got"

Unforgiven - Will Money I believe.

FAX
11-29-2009, 07:29 PM
"Remember, son, as you go through life and that day comes when you find yourself compelled to smash a pumpkin pie on your genitals, be sure you have some extra pie 'cause generally folks want pie that isn't smashed on a guy's genitals."

- Concerned Parent

FAX

Braincase
11-29-2009, 07:41 PM
When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." - Jack Burton, Big Trouble In Little China

Buehler445
11-29-2009, 08:09 PM
Kill one man, you are a murderer.

Kill thousands, you are a conqueror.

angelo
11-29-2009, 09:55 PM
true friends stab you in the front
Oscar Wilde

Ang

notorious
11-29-2009, 10:06 PM
I'm a mushroom cloud layin' mother fucker mother fucker..........


The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fuck?


I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard.


Well, that is a matter of opinion and I do not give a fuck about yours.

Rule number one: No noise, no question. You make a noise...
Mr... 44 makes a noise. You ask a question, Mr. 44 answers it.

Buck
11-29-2009, 11:02 PM
"Did you fuck my mom Santa Clause?"
Posted via Mobile Device

shitgoose
11-30-2009, 12:00 AM
F*ckin' Pagan. Tell your God to ready for blood.

-Al Swearengen (Deadwood)

Boon
11-30-2009, 12:13 AM
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now.
[puts a scoop of mashed potatoes in his mouth and hits his cheeks with his fists and spits it out]
Bluto: I'm a zit. Get it?

CoMoChief
11-30-2009, 12:59 AM
50 No's and 1 Yes....still means Yes.

- Anonymous

PhillyChiefFan
11-30-2009, 06:49 AM
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee" Ezk. 25-17

Jules Winnfield

PhillyChiefFan
11-30-2009, 06:52 AM
Bluto: See if you can guess what I am now.
[puts a scoop of mashed potatoes in his mouth and hits his cheeks with his fists and spits it out]
Bluto: I'm a zit. Get it?

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

PhillyChiefFan
11-30-2009, 06:55 AM
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you from the present.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

blaise
11-30-2009, 07:13 AM
"You ever take a dump that made you feel like you just slept for twelve hours?"

- Ricky Roma in Glengarry Glen Ross

tyton75
11-30-2009, 09:22 AM
50 No's and 1 Yes....still means Yes.

- Anonymous



Giggity

memyselfI
11-30-2009, 09:32 AM
"So, if this show teaches you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side."-Ali G-Da Ali G Show

tooge
11-30-2009, 10:05 AM
Any a you homos touch my stuff? I kill you. Psycho

gblowfish
11-30-2009, 10:10 AM
Woman to President Coolidge:
"Mr. President, a friend of mine bet me that I couldn't get you to say more than two words all night. What do you think of that?"
Coolidge to the woman:
"You Lose."

RNR
12-03-2009, 05:35 PM
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
Baltasar Gracian~

OnTheWarpath15
12-03-2009, 06:25 PM
I didn't invent the rainy day, man. I just own the best umbrella.

-Dennis Hope, Almost Famous

Frazod
12-03-2009, 06:47 PM
Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Gadzooks
12-03-2009, 07:29 PM
"So Mrs. Kennedy, other than that, how was your trip to Dallas?"

Gadzooks
12-03-2009, 07:33 PM
"Tickle my tits"
- George Takei

Marcellus
12-03-2009, 08:11 PM
The Outlaw Josie Wales:

Wales: "Trouble seems to follow some men around. I noticed people I like don't live too long."

Chief: "I've noticed people you don't like don't live too long either".


that movie is a QUOTE MACHINE.

Yup.

Paraphrasing:

Wales - You know you dont have to do this boy.

Kid - Man's gotta make a livin somehow.

Wales - Dyin aint much of a livin BOY.

Marcellus
12-03-2009, 08:12 PM
Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

boogblaster
12-03-2009, 08:22 PM
As worthless as a c()nt full of cold piss ...
Molly Anderson

cardken
12-03-2009, 08:43 PM
LUKE
Old Man, I know I'm a pretty evil
feller who killed people in the war
and got drunk and chopped up municipal
merchandise and like that. I admit
ain't got no call to ask for much.
But even so, you ain't dealt me no
cards in a long time. I mean it's
beginning to look like you got it
fixed so I can't never win out. Inside
or out, it's just different bosses
and different rules. Where am I
supposed to fit in? Old Man, I got
to tell you: I started out pretty
strong and fast but it's starting to
get to me... When does it end?...
What you got in mind for me next?
Old Man. What do I do now? Awright.
On my hands and knees a skin'. Yeah.
That's what I thought. I guess I'm
just a hardcase and I gotta find my
way out myself.
-Luke "Cool Hand Luke" 1967

Blindside58
12-03-2009, 08:49 PM
"They were cones" - Wedding Singer

RippedmyFlesh
12-03-2009, 09:02 PM
Truth is not always pleasant; it has no obligation to appeal to our emotions.

Psyko Tek
12-03-2009, 09:05 PM
my favorite quote of this summer

luv
12-03-2009, 09:08 PM
A single rose on time is worth far more than a thousand dollar gift that's too late.

Psyko Tek
12-03-2009, 09:17 PM
Any a you homos touch my stuff? I kill you. Psycho

"Calm down, Francis" Sgt Hulka Stripes

Pioli Zombie
12-03-2009, 09:55 PM
"Who knew she had a brain to damage? I should have pushed her out a higher window"
- Christopher Walken, Batman Returns
Posted via Mobile Device

Chaunceythe3rd
12-03-2009, 10:31 PM
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt". In retort to the other person, of course.

Marcellus
12-03-2009, 10:32 PM
Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Frankin.

Brianfo
12-03-2009, 11:24 PM
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee" Ezk. 25-17

Jules Winnfield

Best quote ever

RippedmyFlesh
12-04-2009, 08:42 PM
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields

C-Mac
12-04-2009, 08:56 PM
One day lad......all this will be yours.

What the curtains?

FAX
12-04-2009, 09:17 PM
" ... and on the day ye art in company with a woman whom thou despisest, placest thee thy noodles up thy nostrils and singest thou a showtune."

FAX

gblowfish
12-04-2009, 09:21 PM
Yup.

Paraphrasing:

Wales - You know you dont have to do this boy.

Kid - Man's gotta make a livin somehow.

Wales - Dyin aint much of a livin BOY.

Three kinds of suns in Kansas.
Sunshine
Sunflowers
and
Sons of Bitches!

Dallas Chief
12-04-2009, 09:48 PM
Deserves got nothing to do with it...-William Munney

Do you like apples? Well I got her numbah. How do you like them apples? - Will Hunting
Posted via Mobile Device

Red Beans
12-04-2009, 10:45 PM
Unforgiven

Little Bill Daggett: You just shot an unarmed man.

Bill Munny: He should have armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.

C-Mac
12-05-2009, 07:49 AM
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.....now I see that I should have been more specific.

Jack
12-05-2009, 08:28 AM
May your nutsack be crushed by a camel toe. . .

Ancient philosopher - One Hung Lo

Bane
12-05-2009, 08:45 AM
Fukk your mother.

Trish on the 40 year old virgin.

RNR
12-05-2009, 11:08 AM
Some regard private enterprise as if it were a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look upon it as a cow that they can milk. Only a handful see it for what it really is--the strong horse that pulls the whole cart.

Sir Winston Churchill~

Dartgod
12-05-2009, 11:25 AM
You know something Joan, if you didn't have a pussy there'd be a bounty on your head

RNR
12-05-2009, 11:27 AM
Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.

Jack Handey~

angelo
12-05-2009, 11:36 AM
I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci)
Casino 1995

My personal way of thinking.

Ang

'Hamas' Jenkins
12-05-2009, 11:37 AM
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

angelo
12-05-2009, 11:44 AM
Spence: You ever kill anybody?
Sam: I hurt somebody's feelings once.

Ronin

Ang

RNR
12-05-2009, 11:51 AM
Why did you kill everyone in the house? They was home.
Richard Pryor~

RNR
02-14-2010, 10:07 AM
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts. Unknown~

Dave Lane
02-14-2010, 11:16 AM
My sig line

runnercyclist
02-14-2010, 01:01 PM
The task ahead of you is only diminished by the strength behind you.

luv
02-14-2010, 02:17 PM
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt

RNR
03-08-2010, 07:57 PM
"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."
Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Over-Head
03-08-2010, 08:01 PM
..."The wreckage of my past keeps haunting me".. OZZY

Over-Head
03-08-2010, 08:04 PM
I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your ****in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your ****in' head open again. 'Cause I'm ****in' stupid. I don't give a **** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci)
Casino 1995

My personal way of thinking.

Ang:clap:
I love his opening lines of the movie..."lot of problems burried out in that desert. Only problem is, ya gotta dig the hole FIRST. See if someone spots ya digging a hole to dump a body, ya gotta wack him, then dig another hole. Man, a guy could be diggen holes all f***en night"

Frankie
03-08-2010, 08:31 PM
I'm subscribing to this thread. Just carry on.

Jenson71
03-08-2010, 08:33 PM
There are some great ones out there. My favorite is probably: "The road to hell is an easy one."

MahiMike
03-08-2010, 08:34 PM
Temporary lapse of comprehension.

Jilly
03-08-2010, 08:57 PM
Just ran across this one tonight: "Create something. Anything. Just do it with love and a little madness. Carve out time to play with the universe." - Patricia Adams Farmer, Embracing a Beautiful God

kcfanXIII
03-08-2010, 09:18 PM
"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work. "

"One of the things you learn from years of dealing with drug people, is that you can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye."

"And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back. "

hunter s thompson, fear and loathing in las vegas

Goshma Ballsich
03-08-2010, 09:52 PM
"Luck is the residue of design" - Branch Rickey

BIG K
03-08-2010, 09:57 PM
"I guess I owe you an apology. At some point, during your unrequested rambling, I must have given you the impression that I gave shit about you or your situation. My bad, for that, I sincerely apologize"
Author- ME

Reaper16
03-08-2010, 10:00 PM
"Life is the shit that happens while you wait for moments that never come" -- Lester Freamon, The Wire

"It is the mark of the educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it" - Aristotle

"Why put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow?" - Mark Twain

"The sentimentalist is always a cynic at heart. Indeed sentimentality is merely the Bank-holiday of cynicism." - Oscar Wilde

"I have nothing to delcare but my genius." - Oscar Wilde, to a U.S. customs officer upon entering the country.

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm." - Mike Tyson

"The best restaurants in the world are, of course, in Kansas City. Not all of them; only the top four or five. Anyone who has visited Kansas City and still doubts this statement has my sympathy: He never made it to the right places." - Calvin Trillin.

"You don't get fancy with barbecue. When you get fancy, you get out of line." - Arthur Bryant

"God is between the skin and the bone of a pig" - Anthony Bourdain

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." - W.H. Auden

"I hate people who don't take meals seriously. It is so shallow of them." - Algernon

"Try and separate a man from his soul: you only strengthen his and lose your own." - Brother Ali, "Uncle Sam Goddamn"

"FUCK YOU to all the Pats fans who talked about how getting caught in some malfeasance - cheating, beating up women, taking steroids - only made the team better. 'We draw power from our ability to break rules!' Guzzle cock, fucktasters." -- Big Daddy Drew of "Kissing Suzy Kolber"

"Who are you to doubt El Dandy?" - Bret Hart to "Mene" Gene Okerlund

"Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. It is vital to mourn for the victims, but not at the expense of our sense of humor. Our ability to laugh coincides directly with our ability to fight. If we can make fun of it, we can transcend it." - Margaret Cho

Norman Einstein
03-08-2010, 10:18 PM
Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Einstein

RippedmyFlesh
03-08-2010, 10:41 PM
"So it goes."

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

CoMoChief
03-08-2010, 10:48 PM
"That's what she said"

Michael Scott
Manager
Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co.

BWillie
03-08-2010, 10:54 PM
"I will gut you like a fish" - Mike Tyson

Norman Einstein
03-09-2010, 06:16 AM
It will quit hurting as soon as the pain goes away.

tymania
03-09-2010, 08:17 AM
"Straight Cash Homie" - R. Moss

"Jamarcus Russell is a great player..... GET OVER IT" -Al Davis

tymania
03-09-2010, 08:17 AM
"That's what she said"

Michael Scott
Manager
Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co.

or he said

tymania
03-09-2010, 08:21 AM
"I'd hug it out, but I am afraid you might draw wood" - Ari Gold, Entourage

RNR
05-20-2011, 06:32 AM
“W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole',' he explained.”

Dave Lane
05-20-2011, 07:00 AM
"...we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically." ~Neil Degrasse Tyson

That would be Carl Sagan but still a good quote.

Fishpicker
05-20-2011, 07:04 AM
"...I remember playing video games. Then it was just Donkey Kong and stuff and I would get so focused because the levels took such exact focusing. And for hours I would just sit there and play. And I remember I would stop the game when somebody came in and I would be like dizzy and in a daze. You were under mind control. But now it's not beating stuff with a hammer, now you're ripping peoples guts out and slaughtering humans. Stay with us." -Alex Jones

Over-Head
05-20-2011, 07:07 AM
"Never play leap frog with a Unicorn"

RNR
05-20-2011, 07:47 AM
“I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.”
Mitch Hedberg~

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 07:49 AM
-Dont draw back a stump-

-Climb on. Dont bite off more than you can chew-

-Youre gonna be lookin at the sky wonderin how you got there-

mesmith31
05-20-2011, 08:15 AM
The only normal people are the ones that you don't know very well yet...

LOCOChief
05-20-2011, 08:17 AM
Delmar O'Donnell: You work for the railroad, Grampa?
Blind Seer: I work for no man.
Delmar O'Donnell: Got a name, do you?
Blind Seer: I have no name.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, that right there may be the reason you've had difficulty findin' gainful employment. You see, in the mart of competitive commerce...

LOCOChief
05-20-2011, 08:19 AM
True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

boogblaster
05-20-2011, 08:24 AM
What you need lady is some of Dr. Boog's magical white root oil ...
Quote by .. Molly Anderson

SuperChief
05-20-2011, 08:42 AM
“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

Mel Brooks

loochy
05-20-2011, 08:44 AM
"If you've never met me and you didn't know what I looked like you'd never know who I was." - Badgirl

"I don't need college. I'm smart and I know stuffs." - kcnut

bobbymitch
05-20-2011, 08:49 AM
We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we would be reorganised. Presumably the plans for our employment were being changed. I was to learn later in life that, perhaps because we are so good at organising, we tend as a nation to meet any new situation by reorganising; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Charlton Ogburn, Jr

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 08:50 AM
Punchin a girl is like punchin a pillow- Goon from back when.-

RNR
05-20-2011, 08:58 AM
“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”
Will Rogers~

Frazod
05-20-2011, 09:14 AM
Your avatar reminded me of a good one:

I know it's not always easy to be my friend, but I'll be there when you need me - Doc Holliday

RNR
05-20-2011, 09:16 AM
Your avatar reminded me of a good one:

I know it's not always easy to be my friend, but I'll be there when you need me - Doc Holliday
Thats a good one~

4th and Long
05-20-2011, 09:21 AM
Guard: Where'd you get the coconuts?

Arthur: We found them.

Guard: Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut's tropical!

Arthur: What do you mean?

Guard: Well, Mercia's a temperate zone!

Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, and the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Guard: ... are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 09:27 AM
Wanna get stabbed in the neck with a icepick?- Sec

RNR
05-20-2011, 09:49 AM
My dad used to always say "Shut up and get me another beer" I heard that quote for years~

bobbymitch
05-20-2011, 10:17 AM
Don't piss on my boots and tell me that it is raining.

Old Dog
05-20-2011, 10:29 AM
It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
Ronald Reagan

Old Dog
05-20-2011, 10:30 AM
Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
Ronald Reagan

Zebedee DuBois
05-20-2011, 11:55 AM
If Life was simple, we would all be Republicans

RNR
05-20-2011, 12:11 PM
“A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.”
Will Rogers~

“Will Rogers never met Al. Davis”
From a t-shirt on anonymous Raiders fan at a game~

stumppy
05-20-2011, 12:15 PM
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontalobotomy !

RNR
05-20-2011, 12:36 PM
I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontalobotomy !

Thats a Dorothy Parker quote. She was very witty, one of my favorites from her...
“I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host”

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 12:49 PM
When in doubt, choke em out.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

listopencil
05-20-2011, 01:18 PM
"I'd rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred shitheads"

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

""Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life"

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French one behind."

raybec 4
05-20-2011, 01:20 PM
If you show me a piece of paper that says the government shouldn't do that I'll sign it, put it to a vote and I'll vote for it. What I won't do is play ball. As for this non college bullshit I've got two words for ya, learn to fuckin type.

RNR
05-20-2011, 01:20 PM
"I'd rather go down the river with seven studs than with a hundred shitheads"

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

""Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm the rest of his life"

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."

"I'd rather have a German Division in front of me than a French one behind."

Sadly there is a lot of truth to that~

vailpass
05-20-2011, 01:24 PM
"I'd like to buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth"

my Dad (don't know where he got it.)

raybec 4
05-20-2011, 01:25 PM
"Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes because it's usually dressed in overalls and it looks a lot like work" -Thomas Edison

CanadianChief
05-20-2011, 01:42 PM
I once killed a drifter to get an erection. - Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond

The Franchise
05-20-2011, 01:46 PM
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji, a similar version is also attributed to Alice Morse Earle

The Franchise
05-20-2011, 01:47 PM
Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

ModSocks
05-20-2011, 02:02 PM
One particularly creative comment I got today called me something along the lines of a “500+ pound landwhale who needs a bag of dildos shoved up her cunt.”

-Author of "A Man is a supporter if...List"

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 02:09 PM
Take an ounce of pluck, over a pound of luck.

KCUnited
05-20-2011, 02:19 PM
Keep one foot in the gutter, one fist in the gold. - Ricki Rachtman Headbangers Ball.

Frazod
05-20-2011, 02:36 PM
You wear too much eye make-up. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.

MOhillbilly
05-20-2011, 02:46 PM
<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AOXQTr_3IVw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

vailpass
05-20-2011, 02:48 PM
Don't do the crime if yo ucan't do the time.
-Baretta

kaplin42
05-20-2011, 03:18 PM
I'm a mushroom cloud layin' mother ****er mother ****er..........


The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a ****?


I may be a bastard, but I'm not a ****ing bastard.


Well, that is a matter of opinion and I do not give a **** about yours.

Rule number one: No noise, no question. You make a noise...
Mr... 44 makes a noise. You ask a question, Mr. 44 answers it.

some last boyscout quotes. Nice!

DaKCMan AP
05-20-2011, 03:21 PM
"DaKCMan AP is Awesome." - Chuck Norris

kaplin42
05-20-2011, 03:32 PM
"Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

RNR
05-21-2011, 11:11 AM
In honor of the Allstar shootout...

“You win some, lose some, and wreck some.”
Dale Earnhardt~

mesmith31
06-13-2011, 09:14 AM
.....and again we enter the valley of death, but we shall fear no evil for we are the baddest motherfuckers in the valley.

Richard Marcinko, Leader of SEAL Team 6 in Grenada

MOhillbilly
06-13-2011, 09:18 AM
When your out go exceeds your income, your up keep will become your down fall.

Rausch
06-13-2011, 09:22 AM
"Sticking feathers up your ass does not make you a chicken" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

...

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need.


One of my favorite movies. And sure as spit shined $#it it came to pass. Credit came to kill us all, drive us deeper into the work we don't want for the $3it we convinced ourselves we could/had to have...

RNR
06-13-2011, 09:33 AM
“The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.”
Dennis Miller~

Rausch
06-13-2011, 09:36 AM
“The White House looked into a plan that would allow illegal immigrants to stay in the United States. The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.”
Dennis Miller~

It passed.

Only they changed it to Russians...

Dr. Johnny Fever
06-13-2011, 12:57 PM
There's nothing more beautiful than the love between two grown women

... noonan

Rausch
06-13-2011, 01:02 PM
There's nothing more beautiful than the love between two grown women

... noonan

...

http://nmcmedia.org/video-gallery/thumbs/whut1_360.jpg

Rooster
06-13-2011, 03:08 PM
A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish. Ty Webb

RNR
06-15-2011, 07:47 AM
“I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.”
Hunter S. Thompson~

durtyrute
06-15-2011, 09:21 AM
Kiss my ass

-durtyrute

RNR
06-15-2011, 09:25 AM
Kiss my ass

-durtyrute

durtyrute is obviously a plagiarizer~

luv
06-20-2011, 07:19 AM
The road to success leads through the valley of humility, and the path is up the ladder of patience and across the wide barren plains of perseverance. As yet, no short cut has been discovered.
--Joseph. J. Lamb

BigOlChiefsfan
06-20-2011, 12:53 PM
"O Lord, Thou knowest how busy I must be this day. If I forget Thee, do not forget me." Sir Jacob Astley (Royalist) Battle of Edgehill - First English Civil War

blaise
06-20-2011, 12:55 PM
"Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage." - Woody Allen

RNR
10-20-2011, 11:57 AM
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -General MacArthur~

4th and Long
10-20-2011, 12:02 PM
If you mouth me one more time, I'll hit you so hard, you'll be the only person in Heaven in a wheelchair! - My Dad

BoneKrusher
10-20-2011, 12:02 PM
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

- Mark Twain

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:07 PM
There are some great ones out there. My favorite is probably: "The road to hell is an easy one."

I still like this one. I also like "Sarcasm is the cry of the weak" from John Knowles' A Separate Peace.

There are some great sentences out there.

blaise
10-20-2011, 12:08 PM
I still like this one. I also like "Sarcasm is the cry of the weak" from John Knowles' A Separate Peace.

There are some great sentences out there.

Yeah, that's a great one.

Dayze
10-20-2011, 12:11 PM
“I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.”
Mitch Hedberg~

LMAO

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:13 PM
From Eliot:

"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."

God, I love this. To me, this is the most beautiful, soaring language on self-realization and wisdom that could ever be uttered.

And how about this opening to Barbara Tuchman's Guns of August:

“So gorgeous was the spectacle on the May morning of 1910 when nine kings rode in the funeral of Edward VII of England that the crowd, waiting in hushed and black-clad awe, could not keep back gasps of admiration. In scarlet and green and blue and purple, three by three the sovereigns rode through the palace gates, with plumed helmets, gold braid, crimson sashes, and jeweled orders flashing in the sun. After them came five heirs apparent, forty more imperial or royal highnesses, seven queens – four dowager and three regnant – and a scattering of special ambassadors from uncrowned countries. Together they represented seventy nations in the greatest assemblage of royalty and rank ever gathered in one place and, of its kind, the last. The muffled tongue of Big Ben tolled nine by the clock as the cortege left the palace, but on history’s clock it was sunset, and the sun of the old world was setting in a dying blaze of splendor never to be seen again."

blaise
10-20-2011, 12:19 PM
"My Lady Baroness, who weighed three hundred and fifty pounds, consequently was a person of no small consideration."

Voltaire

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:23 PM
There are some powerful Bible verses, too, that we can so easily take for granted. But take a step back and truly appreciate some of the language there.

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me."

or

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:29 PM
"The Cross is steady while the earth is turning."

NJChiefsFan
10-20-2011, 12:33 PM
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

-Omar Khayyam

RNR
10-20-2011, 12:50 PM
“Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.”
Bertrant Russell~

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:54 PM
“Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.”
Bertrant Russell~

Bertrand. Along similar sympathies, I like Voltaire's call that "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." It is a lot to think over.

RNR
10-20-2011, 12:55 PM
Bertrand. Along similar sympathies, I like Voltaire's call that "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." It is a lot to think over.

It was and they did~

Jenson71
10-20-2011, 12:59 PM
It was and they did~

Helps to cull in the herd, eh?

blaise
10-20-2011, 01:01 PM
"Does the thread really need to go down this road?"

- Me

RNR
10-20-2011, 01:03 PM
Helps to cull in the herd, eh?

Wrong place to carry on. It is an interesting debate as long as people stay level headed. Maybe in DC we can do it again. Until then another favorite quote although I do not know the person who coined it: "On this we will have to agree to disagree"

frankotank
10-20-2011, 02:16 PM
not only a "cool" quote from a "cool" movie (easily in my top 10...), but it makes as good an answer message as I've ever heard. yeah that's right, I'm saying my voice mail answer is the BEST yo!

....what we've got here is FAILURE to communicate.
Some men....you just can't reach.
- The Captain - (as played by Strother Martin)


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1fuDDqU6n4o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

PS - when you try to record it onto your phone (as I know you will - because really, it IS the best answer ever - you're welcome!) don't use the guns and roses song because that sonofabitching guitar just gets in the way!

Marcellus
10-20-2011, 02:43 PM
.....and again we enter the valley of death, but we shall fear no evil for we are the baddest mother****ers in the valley.

Richard Marcinko, Leader of SEAL Team 6 in Grenada

Pretty odd quote considering Grenada was a fucking disaster for Seal Team 6. I think half of them drowned before hitting land.

Frankie
10-20-2011, 06:03 PM
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

- Mark Twain

Or Satchel Paige.

Frankie
10-20-2011, 06:05 PM
"Sarcasm is the cry of the weak" from John Knowles' A Separate Peace.

I disagree with that. Profanity is the cry of the weak.

Goldmember
10-20-2011, 06:57 PM
This is my favorite football quote because I like to say this about the Chiefs-

"They're killing me, Whitey, they're killing me!" - Lou Saban

http://youtu.be/2PYJ_7Wngck

DRU
10-20-2011, 08:58 PM
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

- Stephen Roberts

verjesh1
10-21-2011, 05:27 AM
No man can walk out of his own story. -rango character- spirit of west.Awesome saying -there are some other also like - Stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn all the books that ain't Shakespeare.

Delaney37
10-21-2011, 05:40 AM
"Your a legend in your own mind"
"Your mouthwash just ain't cuttin' it"
"Go ahead, make my day"
Det. Dirty Harry Callahan

BoneKrusher
10-21-2011, 05:55 AM
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

- George Bernard Shaw

KC-TBB
10-21-2011, 08:24 AM
I am an Island of sanity in an Ocean of ignorance...White house Staffer

Inspector
10-21-2011, 11:17 AM
"Those aren't pillows!!"

Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Frankie
10-21-2011, 12:40 PM
"you can take Salem out of the country but,...
You can't take the country out of Sa-lem!"

luv
05-04-2012, 01:25 PM
“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”
~Helen Keller

vailpass
05-04-2012, 01:27 PM
"Sometimes nothin's a real cool hand"
~Lucas Jackson

jet62
05-04-2012, 02:17 PM
August 20, 1940 - On the Battle of Britain
"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." - Winston Churchill

Dave Lane
05-04-2012, 02:31 PM
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction

Albert Einstein

saphojunkie
05-04-2012, 02:34 PM
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -General MacArthur~

...he quoted, totally missing the irony.

Dr. Johnny Fever
05-04-2012, 02:36 PM
"Cinderella story outta nowhere... tears in his eyes I guess... former greenskeeper about to become... masters champion..."


-Carl the greenskeeper

Dave Lane
05-04-2012, 02:36 PM
As far as I'm concerned, I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!

Some of my favorite Einstein quotes

RippedmyFlesh
05-04-2012, 02:54 PM
"Snowblower? I don't need a snow blower I got 3 sons and 3 shovels."

My Dad

RNR
07-22-2012, 01:20 PM
Gullibility and credulity are considered undesirable qualities in every department of human life - except religion. Christopher Hitchens~

plbrdude
07-22-2012, 01:41 PM
used to work for a guy who always liked to say,

don't be the problem, be the problem solver

Holladay
07-24-2012, 01:55 PM
"Nuts"

Holladay
07-24-2012, 01:57 PM
Lady Astor, "Winston, you are drunk!"
Winston, "Yup, and you are ugly...but in the morning, I'll be sober"

Holladay
07-24-2012, 01:59 PM
Hee, Hee. Can't resist.

"You didn't build it"

DRU
07-24-2012, 02:02 PM
"Sometimes you hit a wrong chord and it sounds really cool. Sometimes you learn by accident."

Stewie
07-24-2012, 02:02 PM
The stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones.

Rasputin
07-24-2012, 02:05 PM
"You just shot an unarmed man"



"He should have armed himself" Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven

frankotank
07-24-2012, 02:29 PM
man, you can go on and on quoting from Unforgiven. one of the best movies ever.


"I killed the hell out of him didn't I? Three shots and he was taking a shit.....(sobs)" Schofield Kid

"It's a helluva thing killing a man. You take away all he's got...and all he's ever gonna have." Will Munny

TimeForWasp
07-24-2012, 02:34 PM
The road to success leads through the valley of humility, and the path is up the ladder of patience and across the wide barren plains of perseverance. As yet, no short cut has been discovered.
--Joseph. J. Lamb

Cool. My great great grandfather was Joseph J Lamb.

Frankie
07-29-2012, 11:22 PM
Hee, Hee. Can't resist.

"You didn't build it"

You like out of context quotes don't you?

Holladay
07-31-2012, 03:29 PM
I knew I shouldn't have quoted it. Don't want this to go to DC. All politicians have foot in mouth disease. Hopefully we can agree to disagree.

bobbymitch
07-31-2012, 03:38 PM
Unless you can give at least three strong arguments both for and against an issue, you don't fully understand the issue.

From some long forgotten high school teacher

shitgoose
07-31-2012, 03:53 PM
"If you will it, Dude, it is no dream" - Walter Sobchak

Frankie
07-31-2012, 04:35 PM
I knew I shouldn't have quoted it. Don't want this to go to DC. All politicians have foot in mouth disease. Hopefully we can agree to disagree.

Meh, no harm done.

RNR
07-31-2012, 05:48 PM
I knew I shouldn't have quoted it. Don't want this to go to DC. All politicians have foot in mouth disease. Hopefully we can agree to disagree.
The quote is: "You didn't build that" Barry Obama~

whoman69
07-31-2012, 07:07 PM
"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER."
Groucho Marx

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
Franklin Roosevelt

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

RNR
08-01-2012, 02:13 PM
"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER."
Groucho Marx

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
Franklin Roosevelt

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

I am surprised that Frost quote was not listed sooner.

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
Waldo Ralph Emerson~

NWTF
08-01-2012, 06:50 PM
Blazing Saddles

Taggart: ...What in the Wide World of Sports is a-going on here? I hired you people to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f@ggots!

petegz28
08-01-2012, 06:52 PM
Sorry if this has already been posted but this is one of my favorite quotes of all time, though it's a phrase taken from a book...

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
J.R.R. Tolkein

Tits McGee
08-01-2012, 06:53 PM
"I like to hit it, then quit it..."
Kenny Powers

NWTF
08-01-2012, 07:06 PM
"Those aren't pillows!!"

Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

whoman69
08-01-2012, 07:15 PM
Blazing Saddles

Taggart: ...What in the Wide World of Sports is a-going on here? I hired you people to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City f@ggots!

Blazing Saddles

Where's da white women?

NWTF
08-01-2012, 07:16 PM
Planes Trains and Automobiles

Neal talking to Del

Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!

Ted Theodore Logan
08-01-2012, 07:18 PM
"Ooooh Yeeeaahh!"
Macho Man Randy Savage

thabear04
08-02-2012, 12:37 AM
You cant make a Chicken salad out of Chicken shit - Ray Farmer

Dayze
08-02-2012, 06:12 AM
You cant make a Chicken salad out of Chicken shit - Ray Farmer

I think that was the Great Casey Printers

King_Chief_Fan
08-02-2012, 06:27 AM
from Christmas vacation:

I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

TLO
08-02-2012, 06:28 AM
Too fat
- Omaha

Dayze
08-02-2012, 06:28 AM
"you've got two halves of coconuts and you're banging them together"

cookster50
08-02-2012, 07:58 AM
"Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son."
"What do you mean?"

cookster50
08-02-2012, 08:09 AM
"I aim to misbehave" Captain Mal - Firefly/Serenity

Holladay
08-02-2012, 10:25 AM
Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do... it's usually something unsual.
-Bill Muray (Stripes)

whoman69
08-02-2012, 12:35 PM
"You ain't gettin' shit outta me."

- Slim Pickens 1941

He had just been fed laxatives to pass a compass that came in his box of Cracker Jacks. The Japs were stuck with their navigation system down in LA harbor.

Strongside
08-02-2012, 12:47 PM
"We're gonna have to make a hell of a lot of rope, Wilson."
-Tom Hanks.

The Poz
08-02-2012, 12:48 PM
"You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?"
Rodney Dangerfield - Caddyshack

or

"Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so."
Eddie - Xmas vacation

Strongside
08-02-2012, 12:54 PM
"Hey baby you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat!?"
-Jay

Big Chief Homer
08-02-2012, 02:59 PM
"next ones comin' faster"

Rayland Givens (justified) after dropping bullet

Dr. Johnny Fever
08-02-2012, 05:13 PM
"Pitching is the currency of baseball."

Dayton Moore when he took over the Royals

Dr. Johnny Fever
08-02-2012, 05:15 PM
"It's a process."

Royals & Chiefs front offices since....................................................

Willie Lanier
08-02-2012, 08:00 PM
"Leadership is doing what is right when no one is looking"

- George Von Vakenberg