Congratulations. You've been selected!

[Jenson71]

The archangel Gabriel brings a message to you from God. You are to write a comprehensive biography on one historical figure of your choosing (except Jesus of Nazareth, Muhammad, Abraham, and Moses). You are blessed to go back in time and live the duration of your subject's life at your current age with no aging process during the lifetime. You are never visible to your subject, so you can follow him or her everywhere, including all private places. You can not talk to your subject. You can not influence any person's influences or decisions. After your subject has died, you are immediately brought back to the current age, where you make your stunning find of a lost manuscript (the materials you used were of the time period, so no one suspects forgery). You can never tell anyone that you were actually there, witnessing the events of your subject's life in person.

Who do you choose?

[mikeyis4dcats.]

Scarlett Johansson. She's a bit of a self-described whore.

[Extra Point]

Isaac Newton

[SDChiefs]

Kim Kardashian. Smoking hot!

[BossChief]

hitler

[Dave Lane]

I'll choose John the baptist.

1) Because unlike the other players in the Bible he actually existed

2) I could explore the whole of this period of history. I could double check to make sure there wasn't even a person on whom the jesus myth was based and visit the Pyramids and tombs at a early time

The early Pharaohs would be a good choice too :)

[SenselessChiefsFan]

Wow.... I thought I would be the only one choosing Hitler. It would just be amazing to see how a whole country was sucked into that.

[Fritz88]

Dawrin and Todd Haley.

[Jenson71]

I went with St. Paul, but Alexander was tough to not check.

[JOhn]

I choose Adolf, only because he was the one person in WW2 you had listed that has had little factual written about him. BUT if I had my choice I would have chosen Stalin, Chester Nimitz, Yamamoto, Rommel or Patton ahead of him.

[Infidel Goat]

I think I will take Shakespeare, though I was also tempted by Hannibal.

[CaliforniaChief]

I'm waiting to vote until I see who Gonzo votes for.

[Rain Man]

Great topic and concept.

My selection criteria would be:

- First, I'm assuming I can understand and read the language of the people involved. Otherwise, I'm stuck with the English speakers.

- It would need to be someone where my research would significantly add to the knowledge about the person or history period.

- Honestly, I think I'd be wary of great American heroes. I don't think it's good for the country if we found out any dirty secrets about Washington or Lincoln or whomever. I'd rather leave their legacies lie from a personal selfish perspective. However, I wouldn't eliminate them on the presumption that most didn't have any dirty secrets.

- I'd want it to be someone for whom there's some mystery about their thinking and motives. A lot of great characters in history are somewhat easy to decipher in terms of motives and actions.

- Since I could follow them everywhere, it'd be nice to follow a guy who had a harem or at least a bunch of naked chicks around at all times. (This would boost the Kennedys and Tiger Woods up the list.)

- I'd want it to be a person or history period that interests me personally.

So with that in mind, my preference among the poll suggestions would be:

1. Surprisingly, I think I would pick bin Laden first. It may be a faddish pick, but knowing him I would learn a lot about his actions (lots of mystery there), his motives (less mystery, but interesting), and I would also get the bonus of learning a lot about American intelligence and counter-terrorism. I suspect there are a lot of good stories about bin Laden's plans blowing up on the launch pad.

2. Hitler's a strong second, for obvious reasons. While I think he's strategically somewhat transparent, my interest in him would be more from a tactical perspective. Were there any key decisions that could've turned the war where he was debating and chose the wrong path? At what point did he start privately thinking, "Uh-oh, I may have dipped my chewing gum in explosives?"

3. Cosimo de Medici would be third, perhaps. He's the first Medici, right? There's a lot of mystery around the first Medici, but at the same time I suspect it may be just because of a lack of historical record than anything more interesting. I'd be concerned here that I'm just getting a normal business/politics story.

Da Vinci and Churchill are interesting possibilities, too. With Churchill it'd really be more whether he was revising history in his own books, though. He's pretty well documented.

If I could add others to the list, I would strongly consider:

Akhenaton - Interesting historical figure, and there's really not much known about him. He made lots of changes in Egypt during his reign.

Kim Il Sung - Seriously, wouldn't it be cool to find out what was really going on behind all of that facade? You could probably include that Romanian guy in this category - Ceaucescu (sp?)

Some emperor of China - Either the first one, or one of those around the 1300's. I'm woefully ignorant of Chinese history, but you have to figure that some of these guys made decisions that impacted history. I wonder to what extent they knew or cared about the outside world, and if they ever considered an age of discovery like the Europens undertook.

Josef Stalin - He might've just been a little bit of a nutcase, but it'd be interesting to learn his real view of the Axis and the other Allies. However, he might be a hard one to crack, because I suspect that he never really told others his true thoughts.

Nostradamus - just to see what all the fuss was about.

Louis XIV - However, I'd be afraid that most of his life was spent fussing about stuff that ended up having no strong impact on history.

Julius Caesar - He seems to be pretty well documented, though, so I'm not sure if I'd add much.

Maybe Cheops or one of those pyramid-era Egyptians, just to learn about the pyramids more than to follow the person around (though both would be interesting).

Whatever human or alien really runs De Beers.

I had to look up the name, but Atahualpa, the king of the Incans when the Spanish arrived. Actually, Pizarro would be interesting, too.

Walt Disney. You know there's something going on there.

[Jenson71]

Nice post.



Some emperor of China - Either the first one, or one of those around the 1300's. I'm woefully ignorant of Chinese history, but you have to figure that some of these guys made decisions that impacted history. I wonder to what extent they knew or cared about the outside world, and if they ever considered an age of discovery like the Europens undertook.

I took a Chinese history course last spring. It surprised me how much I liked it being that I'm really only a Westernizer. Overall, China did not care at all about the outside world. Their concern was their Glorious Past. That was the best time and every effort should be about getting back to it. Western Civilization's characteristic of expanding the boundaries is really pretty distinct.

The West had a period where they were fascinated by anything Far Eastern (and there would be another era of Orientalism - Middle East fascination). China had no care about Westerners.

[Braincase]

da Vinci. You can always change the subject and still have an interesting conversation.

[KurtCobain]

Walt Disney. You know there's something going on there.

Son of a bitch, you know it! Gotta get the dirt on that guy.

But I think, as a bit of a shock, I'd go for Kurt Cobain. It would be more of a personal knowledge gain though, so it'd be a bit selfish. But fuck it, I wanna know what teen spirit really smelled like.

[Chief Chief]

I now realize I should have selected Peter the Great so that I could have elaborated in the 'lost manuscript' about the actual size of his weiner.

DAMMIT CARL!

[88TG88]

Da Vinci

I want to see his helicopter plans.

[Taco John]

I would choose Mary, mother of Jesus. Not that I think she's very interesting or even really notable except that she birthed him. But if I can't pick Jesus, I might as well pick a person who was close to him.

[Taco John]

I also might pick King David. Moses would be a good choice too.

[Frankie]

1- Cyrus the Great.

2- Queen Neffertiri

[Cjanz]

Charlemagne.

Frankish history astonishes me, and I would truly love to see the rise of their empire and explore the diplomacy of their campaigns; not to mention the fact that the time period in which he lived is utterly fascinating.

[KC Jones]

Great thread!

Very tough call for me, but ultimately I went with St Paul. I'd like to see the road to Damascus thing play out and what Christianity was like in it infancy.

[Crush]

I would go with Kim Il Sung.

I can't fathom on how different Asia would be if the very large minority in the KWP was successful in ousting him in 1956. I want to see what happened on that day and the months that followed. I want to see how he created the world's most isolated country on a day-by-day basis.

[Dave Lane]

I also might pick King David. Moses would be a good choice too.

You have to pick someone that existed otherwise what fun would this be. Please try again :)

[Fairplay]

I would like to learn more first hand about the American revolution first hand and meet many of the actual players through G. Washingtons eyes.

[Rain Man]

I would go with Kim Il Sung.

I can't fathom on how different Asia would be if the very large minority in the KWP was successful in ousting him in 1956. I want to see what happened on that day and the months that followed. I want to see how he created the world's most isolated country on a day-by-day basis.


Oh! Hey! I mentioned him, too!


On a purely selfish note it'd be cool to go back and follow around one of my grandparents when my parents were children. Kind of a two for one benefit.

[Reaper16]

Socrates, on the reals.

[Sully]

Jefferson is my favorite American historical figure, but I bet he'd be boring to follow around.
So I'd pick either Ben Franklin (definitely not boring) or Roger Williams.

[Crush]

Oh! Hey! I mentioned him, too!


On a purely selfish note it'd be cool to go back and follow around one of my grandparents when my parents were children. Kind of a two for one benefit.



There's something about him that makes him interesting to me. Was he an impostor? Was that really him having all of these achievements during WWII? Was it really the first Kim Il Sung that did all of those things?

[Hammock Parties]

The archangel Gabriel brings a message to you from God.

Sorry Gabe, I'm busy. Fuck off. And tell your boss to stop being such a prick.

You are to write a comprehensive biography on one historical figure of your choosingGreat, homework from the almighty. Just what I need. See why I always go with my first instinct?

By the way, I voted for Hitler, because he was a fucking badass. I almost picked Chris Columbus but all that sailing would get boring.

[RJ]

I'd follow Marco Polo around for a lifetime, no problem. Dude went everywhere, met all sorts of people and experienced things no one from his country had ever even thought of.

What I would like just as much, though, would be to follow around any random man from about 10,000 years ago. I'm really fascinated by the people who came along just before written history. So little is known about how they lived.

[EyePod]

Henry VIII. just imagine getting to see anne boleyn take it!

[Rain Man]

Lee Harvey Oswald would be another interesting one.

[KurtCobain]

Bigfoot

[ChiefJustice]

Meriwether Lewis

Alot has been written about him and his expedition with William Clark.

There is a fair amount of speculation about who this guy really was and why he ended up like he did.

I would like to have followed that guy from his time as Jeffersons' secretary until his ultimate end.

His journals on the expedition had big gaps that are equated to his "melancholy".

I would just like to know what happened to a guy who endured so much....yet,couldn't handle life and fame afterwards.

[GordonGekko]

maybe i didn't see it on there, but no Julius Caesar, Stalin, George S. Patton, Shakespeare?

how could i pass up christopher columbus? the man pretty much set in motion the dominoes, albeit indirectly, into how the power struggle of the world would play out over the next 500 years. plus, i would love to witness the maiden voyage, and see how the americas looked initially before it got trashed. not saying i hate america here, i love it, but just to see it in its virginal form before all the frat boys (european countries) got their hands on it.

[Infidel Goat]

Caligula, anyone?

[Slainte]

Without a doubt, Mao Zedong. The most sociopathic of the 20th century's Triumvirate Of Lunatic Despots...

[Norman Einstein]

Judas Iscariot, or any one of the other apostles.

It would be interesting to see the begining of Christianity. It would also be a book that would prove the existence of Jesus Christ, and a book that virtually all of those here would claim to be a false record of those few years Jesus walked the earth.

Interesting concept, but for those that have picked persons from before the modern conveniences you live with here how would you cope with the time? No fast food, no modern toilets (toilet paper), and the lack of most every other way of life as you know it.

Is this precept actually the way the Bible was written? If it was there are still those that do not believe. How much credibility would be given to anyone that wrote a book after monitoring the life of a historic person? The real outcome would be that only the lone person that wrote the book would be convinced of the way that historic person lived.

On pure curiosity I'd just like to see a book written about our own Rain Man's history.

[Redrum_69]

L I N E L L I O T

[KurtCobain]

Spiderman

[Easy 6]

Caligula.

[Norman Einstein]

Caligula.

Octopus

[tyton75]

Jenna Jameson! lol

come on.. someone had to say it

[tyton75]

George Washington.. .just because

J. Edgar Hoover.. because he had dirt on everyone

Ramses the Great.. Just to find out how the Pyramids were ACTUALLY made! lol

Sitting Bull

King Kameameah of Hawaii.