Rain Man
12-31-2009, 06:54 PM
I'm going to go out on a limb and document this stuff.
1. Obama will announce a new large government initiative to solve some major problem. He will propose funding by a tax on people making over $250,000 a year. The Republicans will vehemently oppose it.
2. Scientists will announce new stem cell research advances that cure cancer and heart disease, make breasts perkier, prevent ACL knee injuries, build bicep muscles, and return former 1970s TV star Valerie Bertinelli to her teenage hotness. Opponents will renew efforts to ban such research, making frequent speaking appearances in muscle shirts aside their fabulously perky-breasted spouses.
3. A new reality TV show will be unveiled that makes TV critics lament the decline of our society in general and television in particular. The show will be popular among people in their 20s. The producers will then introduce either Danny Partridge or Peter Brady to the show to attempt to broaden its appeal.
4. A new and attractive female singer will cause a media sensation by claiming that she's bisexual. Her albums will become quite popular as a result of the media frenzy.
5. A natural disaster somewhere will kill at least 10,000 residents of a Third-World nation, likely involving at least two of the following six things: buses, crocodiles, Iranians, electrical wires, genetically recreated dinosaurs, and jellyfish. In another Third-World country, massive American relief efforts will be undertaken to provide food during a major drought, with no questioning of why the population there is continuing to increase to a level four times higher than is sustainable.
6. There will be strife and conflict in the Middle East, and negotiations with Israel to return land to other countries, who will then use that land to launch rocket attacks on Israeli civilians.
7. For security reasons, planes will require passengers to be nude on board. Complaints about in-flight turbulence will drop by 80 percent.
8. The NFL draft will cut to a commercial when the Chiefs' pick is announced, and then will neglect announcing the pick to discuss the Cowboys' potential picks coming later in the round. 50 percent of Chiefsplanet will not like the pick and 50 percent will be very excited about it.
9. New but unverifiable evidence will emerge of at least two of the following: faked moon landings, Bigfoot, JFK second gunman, alien visits to earth, and the pyramids' and/or Stonehenge's construction by an advanced extinct civilization.
10. An Internet site that allows people to communicate with each other will rocket to popularity. Many books and articles will be written about how to use it and how powerful it is. No one will question why it has more members than there are people on earth.
1. Obama will announce a new large government initiative to solve some major problem. He will propose funding by a tax on people making over $250,000 a year. The Republicans will vehemently oppose it.
2. Scientists will announce new stem cell research advances that cure cancer and heart disease, make breasts perkier, prevent ACL knee injuries, build bicep muscles, and return former 1970s TV star Valerie Bertinelli to her teenage hotness. Opponents will renew efforts to ban such research, making frequent speaking appearances in muscle shirts aside their fabulously perky-breasted spouses.
3. A new reality TV show will be unveiled that makes TV critics lament the decline of our society in general and television in particular. The show will be popular among people in their 20s. The producers will then introduce either Danny Partridge or Peter Brady to the show to attempt to broaden its appeal.
4. A new and attractive female singer will cause a media sensation by claiming that she's bisexual. Her albums will become quite popular as a result of the media frenzy.
5. A natural disaster somewhere will kill at least 10,000 residents of a Third-World nation, likely involving at least two of the following six things: buses, crocodiles, Iranians, electrical wires, genetically recreated dinosaurs, and jellyfish. In another Third-World country, massive American relief efforts will be undertaken to provide food during a major drought, with no questioning of why the population there is continuing to increase to a level four times higher than is sustainable.
6. There will be strife and conflict in the Middle East, and negotiations with Israel to return land to other countries, who will then use that land to launch rocket attacks on Israeli civilians.
7. For security reasons, planes will require passengers to be nude on board. Complaints about in-flight turbulence will drop by 80 percent.
8. The NFL draft will cut to a commercial when the Chiefs' pick is announced, and then will neglect announcing the pick to discuss the Cowboys' potential picks coming later in the round. 50 percent of Chiefsplanet will not like the pick and 50 percent will be very excited about it.
9. New but unverifiable evidence will emerge of at least two of the following: faked moon landings, Bigfoot, JFK second gunman, alien visits to earth, and the pyramids' and/or Stonehenge's construction by an advanced extinct civilization.
10. An Internet site that allows people to communicate with each other will rocket to popularity. Many books and articles will be written about how to use it and how powerful it is. No one will question why it has more members than there are people on earth.