Artie Lange Attempts Suicide (stabbing himself 9 times)

[Gadzooks]

http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ

Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."

Pretty sad.

[Mr. Laz]

wow ... too bad.


takes some serious determination to stab yourself 9 times.

[Earthling]

Dang!!

['Hamas' Jenkins]

I never saw the Joe Buck interview, but listening to him on podcasts (via Carolla and Simmons) you could tell how much the guy just hated everything about his life, and everything about himself.

The prison of his own mind must be an incredibly toxic place.

[Gadzooks]

I never saw the Joe Buck interview, but listening to him on podcasts (via Carolla and Simmons) you could tell how much the guy just hated everything about his life, and everything about himself.

The prison of his own mind must be an incredibly toxic place.

I'd imagine, his addiction heroin has alot to do with why he'd do this.

[Buck]

Damn man.

I hope he recovers.

[Bane]

9 Times?Holy shit.Hope he makes it somehow.

[The Franchise]

He's funny....but seriously fucked in the head.

I'd say that he needs counseling and rehab....but I don't think that would help.

[blazzin311]

Damn man.

I hope he recovers.

Me too. That's too bad. I saw him back last June in vegas at the Hard Rock do standup. He's a very funny talented individual. I hope he can see this as a second, or third chance and tries again to get his life turned around for the better.

[CHIEFS58]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

[Jenson71]

He's funny....but seriously ****ed in the head.

I'd say that he needs counseling and rehab....but I don't think that would help.

I can't imagine being a sidekick to Howard Stern is something that you can reflect on and end up attaining happiness from.

[Jenson71]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

He probably doesn't actually want to die.

[Gadzooks]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

Lots of people have managed to fuck up that method too

['Hamas' Jenkins]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

As someone whose mother and wife are both nurses, if your mom actually said that and it was reported, she'd have been a nurse for about 5 minutes.

[SDChiefs]

I seen him on the Jimmy Fallon show and he looked like he gave up on life. Hes looked pretty troubled for awhile now. Hope he gets through this. Hes a funny dude.

[DJ's left nut]

He's occasionally funny.

But there's little doubting that he's a miserable human being. He is, by most accounts, a haughty prick and doesn't ever seem to be happy about anything.

I'm not gonna wish death on the guy, but I'm certainly not broken up about it. With Chris Henry already on the books, maybe we're part of the way into our 'asshole marginal celebrity' trio.

[Hammock Parties]

Fat, drunk and stupid...

(still gets more ass than me)

[OnTheWarpath15]

He's occasionally funny.

But there's little doubting that he's a miserable human being. He is, by most accounts, a haughty prick and doesn't ever seem to be happy about anything.

I'm not gonna wish death on the guy, but I'm certainly not broken up about it. With Chris Henry already on the books, maybe we're part of the way into our 'asshole marginal celebrity' trio.

Beat me to it.

Cry for help.

If he wanted to die, he surely wouldn't have stabbed himself nine fucking times.

[kstater]

Steal his material Mencia.

[Baby Lee]

I'd imagine, his addiction heroin has alot to do with why he'd do this.

He just turned 42, which is the age his dad died, and he'd talked a lot about how he can't fathom outliving his dad. For those who don't know, his dad was the hero, then in Artie's teens he fell off a roof [he was a shingle installer] and ended up a quadrapalegic. He wasted away with in home hospice care very depressed that Artie had to be the breadwinner and family patriarch at such a young age.

Also, The Stern Show put him on leave a couple weeks before Christmas, but there's no info if it was the depression then the leave or the leave then the depression [well, deepening depression].

Worst part is, his mom was on the way over with home made food for him. That brings my compassion down quite a few notches.

[gblowfish]

Somebody go by John Goodman's house, just check on him, y'know, just in case....

['Hamas' Jenkins]

He's occasionally funny.

But there's little doubting that he's a miserable human being. He is, by most accounts, a haughty prick and doesn't ever seem to be happy about anything.

Welp...

[Baby Lee]

I can't imagine being a sidekick to Howard Stern is something that you can reflect on and end up attaining happiness from.

Flaming AIDS tree beckons, heed it's clarion call.

Being on the Stern Show is probably the biggest factor in him being alive to this point.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

He just turned 42, which is the age his dad died, and he'd talked a lot about how he can't fathom outliving his dad.

Also, The Stern Show put him on leave a couple weeks before Christmas, but there's no info if it was the depression then the leave or the leave then the depression.

Worst part is, his mom was on the way over with home made food for him. That brings my compassion down quite a few notches.

His dad fell off a ladder, right?

[Jerm]

Somewhere Joe Buck is laughing his ass off.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Chiefnj2]

Artie stabbed himself 9 times? [cue up the Jacki the Jokeman laughing his ass off sound clip].

[Gadzooks]

His dad fell off a ladder, right?

Yeah, He was a quad for 4 1/2 years before passing.

[Rooster]

wow ... too bad.


takes some serious determination to stab yourself 9 times.

:eek: No shit. I don't think I have even heard of anything like that before.

[DJ's left nut]

Artie stabbed himself 9 times? [cue up the Jacki the Jokeman laughing his ass off sound clip].

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/bueller_03.jpg

9 times...

[DBOSHO]

Hes trying to be 50 cent.

[Baby Lee]

Info into either the seriousness of the situation, or the mercenary nature of TMZ. They broke the story Monday, then announced a live Q&A [including questions about Artie] for Tues afternoon. Tuesday morning the Stern show spent 1/2 hour out of the blue talking about what a cool organization TMZ was, then the Q&A came and went that afternoon without a word about Artie.

[OnTheWarpath15]

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/bueller_03.jpg

9 times...

ROFL

[Jenson71]

Flaming AIDS tree beckons, heed it's clarion call.

Being on the Stern Show is probably the biggest factor in him being alive to this point.

I guess we'd never know that.

[CHIEFS58]

As someone whose mother and wife are both nurses, if your mom actually said that and it was reported, she'd have been a nurse for about 5 minutes.

Id prefer it if you stuck a gun in your mouth.

[Gadzooks]

Somewhere Joe Buck is laughing his ass off.
Posted via Mobile Device

I, for one, would like to know his whereabouts at the time of the incident.

[FAX]

I never saw the Joe Buck interview, but listening to him on podcasts (via Carolla and Simmons) you could tell how much the guy just hated everything about his life, and everything about himself.

The prison of his own mind must be an incredibly toxic place.

Yep.

Personally, I never found him at all humorous. Just bitter, angry, and immature.

I feel badly for the guy ... you know, that it's come to this, but maybe he will turn his life around now.

FAX

[CoMoChief]

Wow, I knew he was kinda a piece of shit, but thats what made him kinda funny. He's the pure definition of a true asshole. I thought mostly it was all an act. Guess he had some real problems. damn.

[wild1]

Why would he do this, he's gonna keel over any minute anyway

[CaliforniaChief]

Sad story.

[Demonpenz]

what a cut up

[DBOSHO]

As someone whose mother and wife are both nurses, if your mom actually said that and it was reported, she'd have been a nurse for about 5 minutes.

yeah i dont see how she could get away with that....

[MMXcalibur]

Joe Buck approves.

[eazyb81]

Am I the only one that thought the weirdest news was that he is 42 years old and his mom is still coming by to drop off food for him?

"Ma! The meatloaf!!!"

[Galileo Humpkins]

Nine stabs is nothing if you have 1000 HP.

[eazyb81]

Wow, I knew he was kinda a piece of shit, but thats what made him kinda funny. He's the pure definition of a true asshole. I thought mostly it was all an act. Guess he had some real problems. damn.

Wow, now if isn't that the pot meeting the kettle....

[PunkinDrublic]

I like Artie but even from reading his book it's hard to feel sympathetic. He was only doing
standup for 3 years when he got picked up for MADTV. I've heard he can pull down 80 grand
per standup gig due to being on Stern. A million people would love to the opportunities he's
gotten.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Demonpenz]

you can steal alot of jokes in 3 years being drunk and high around other funny people

[Cannibal]

I like Artie but even from reading his book it's hard to feel sympathetic. He was only doing
standup for 3 years when he got picked up for MADTV. I've heard he can pull down 80 grand
per standup gig due to being on Stern. A million people would love to the opportunities he's
gotten.
Posted via Mobile Device

I liked Artie a lot more before I read his book. Reading his book was pretty enlightning about how classless he is. In my opinion Artie is at his best on Stern when he chimes in with those quick hitting, extremely witty one liners. When we have to spend 2 hours of the show listening to Artie's personal bullshit is when the show starts to go downhill.

He needs to be replaced and unfortunately for him stabbing himself 9 times is going to be what finally does it. I'd like to see him get himself cleaned up and straightened out, but I want him off the Stern show.

[jidar]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

Sounds like your mom is a fucking shitty nurse.

[MOhillbilly]

He probably doesn't actually want to die.

that aint a cry for help bro. a cry for help would be to stab yourself once in safe company.

[Cannibal]

It would be very difficult to give yourself 3 "deep plunge" wounds no matter what type of drugs you're on.

[MOhillbilly]

Sounds like your mom is a ****ing shitty nurse.

badgirl

[Halfcan]

wow 9 times-seems there would be an easier way if he wanted it that bad??

[Otter]

Flaming AIDS tree beckons, heed it's clarion call.

Being on the Stern Show is probably the biggest factor in him being alive to this point.

Soak 'eth thyself in gasoline prior dear jenson who knows so little yet thinks he knows much

[Chiefnj2]

wow 9 times-seems there would be an easier way if he wanted it that bad??

He should have tried watching Beer League before making the attempt. He would have stabbed himself a good dozen times if he had done that.

[NewChief]

My mom is a nurse. When someone tried to overdose or use some other shitty method of suicide, she told them to put a gun in their mouth and quit wasting everyones time.

I like Artie. Hes funny as hell. But if youre gonna do it, do it right.

Does she bitch about getting them juice, too? (mohillbilly inspired it).l

[Galileo Humpkins]

you can steal alot of jokes in 3 years being drunk and high around other funny people

Carlos Mencia made a career out of it.