Hypothetical: you get one piece of ass.

[JD10367]

You can pick any one person past or present whose sole value is as ass. Any person - musician, actor, athlete, or any other occupation as long as their sole value is as ass. (In other words, you can't select the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading squad and call it one piece of ass.)

But as with the rest of life, there are some rules. Those rules are:

1. You get it for the rest of your life for your own personal enjoyment in your personal residence.

2. You can't sell it or make any money off of it, and when you die it goes back to whomever currently owns it.

3. The item will be maintained at no cost to you.

4. It must be taken in its full form, so you can't take just a piece of ass (e.g., the booty of a woman with an ugly face).

5. You have to pay if it requires any modification to your home. (For example, if you select Kim Kardashian, you may have to move to a larger home that has room for a bigger ass.)

What piece of ass do you select?

[OnTheWarpath15]

Best parody thread evar.

[Saul Good]

I own a pair of Kim Kardashian's skid-marked panties. It's an amazing work of shart.

[JD10367]

I pick the "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century"-era Erin Gray. Those skintight uniforms just kept me up late nights as a preteen. :whackit:

http://img.listal.com/image/30938/600full-erin-gray.jpg
http://www.andertoons.com/img/cartoon-blog/erin_gray0248.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAui1kkZr1I/AAAAAAAAO1o/s0uVM-H_gk8/erin_gray0124.jpg

And before that she was a swimsuit model, and in the first SI swimsuit issue IIRC.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/pr/subs/swimsuit/images/ult_egray_01.jpg

[Donger]

Bo Derek, although I shudder to think of the maintenance costs.

[JD10367]

Best parody thread evar.

Hey, it's a serious question. If you could pick one woman--as recent as some young Hollywood hottie, to Sophia Loren in her prime, to Marie Antoinette or Catherine the Great (although I hear she liked horses)... it's not a question to be answered quickly...

[OnTheWarpath15]

Hey, it's a serious question. If you could pick one woman--as recent as some young Hollywood hottie, to Sophia Loren in her prime, to Marie Antoinette or Catherine the Great (although I hear she liked horses)... it's not a question to be answered quickly...

Yeah, I need some time to seriously consider.

[Ebolapox]

marilyn monroe

[JD10367]

marilyn monroe

That's an excellent choice. You thinking the early, innocent Marilyn, or the later version, disillusioned and addicted?

[JOhn]

See the problem is, you might pick Marlyn and find out she a total dead piece of ass.:doh!:

Were as I can think of a few in my past that are very hot, and great lays!!

I would have to tend to pick someone I've already had, unless I get who I want with the guarantee they are freaks in bed.:p

[Buehler445]

Very very difficult question. I'll have to get back to you.

[RJ]

When the ass is too complicated, I take a pass.

[Ebolapox]

That's an excellent choice. You thinking the early, innocent Marilyn, or the later version, disillusioned and addicted?

early, innocent. the one who gave handjobs in the drive-in theatres before she was famous.

[DeezNutz]

So far, all of these choices have been full of fail.

[Pioli Zombie]

Mamie Eisenhower
Posted via Mobile Device

[Tribal Warfare]

House of Style Cindy Crawford

[Ebolapox]

So far, all of these choices have been full of fail.


:spock:

[bdeg]

Marisa Miller

2nd choice: chick in new avatar(you may recognize from the shag paint thread)

[DeezNutz]

:spock:

Yes. We're talking epic ass.

Not simply above-average ass.

Cindy Crawford, for example? Fucks no. No, no, no.

[ArrowheadMagic]

This is something that changes with time. But I wouldnt mind getting old next to this

http://www.serbia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/megan_fox_fhm.jpg

[kcchuck]

Showing my age, Lynda Carter, AKA, Wonder woman...

[Tribal Warfare]

Yes. We're talking epic ass.

Not simply above-average ass.

Cindy Crawford, for example? Fucks no. No, no, no.

Your putting down Cindy Crawford, Jesus your kidding right?

[007]

I pick the "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century"-era Erin Gray. Those skintight uniforms just kept me up late nights as a preteen. :whackit:

http://img.listal.com/image/30938/600full-erin-gray.jpg
http://www.andertoons.com/img/cartoon-blog/erin_gray0248.jpg

http://lh3.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAui1kkZr1I/AAAAAAAAO1o/s0uVM-H_gk8/erin_gray0124.jpg

And before that she was a swimsuit model, and in the first SI swimsuit issue IIRC.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/pr/subs/swimsuit/images/ult_egray_01.jpg nice choice

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Pamela Anderson in her prime. Hands down.

[Lzen]

Bo Derek, although I shudder to think of the maintenance costs.

I saw her do an interview recently. She still looks good after all these years.

[Steron]

Simple. Alyssa Milano.

http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj98/Liberty-Jenn/charmed/Alyssa_Milano_117.jpg

[Pushead2]

http://www.uncoached.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/jessica-alba-ass.jpg

[Jilly]

my husband...or are we all pretending we aren't married for this thread?

[JD10367]

my husband...or are we all pretending we aren't married for this thread?

Yes. We're looking for someone famous, like an actor, athlete, musician, historical figure, etc.,.

If it makes you feel better morally, we'll give you the caveat that, in your case, you can keep your husband AND have another (and your husband would be okay with it).

And you can pick a woman, BTW. :evil:

[Inspector]

All in all, I'll stick with what I have thank you very much. I'm pretty sure it's as good as it gets.

[Jilly]

ok, so I really would just want Sully for the rest of my life, but if I'm playing this game....

I'll go with....Katy Perry.

[JD10367]

ok, so I really would just want Sully for the rest of my life, but if I'm playing this game....

I'll go with....Katy Perry.

I heart you so much. Do you have sisters? :D

[Jilly]

I heart you so much. Do you have sisters? :D

One, but she's married and insane and weird.

[Bunit]

One piece of ass huh? This is tough one. As of right now I would have to reserve the right to the cheeks of fuck me I don't know. Gonna have to contemplate this for a good minute.

[Brianfo]

Jennifer Aniston. Noone else even in the same stratosphere. She is my one get out of jail free card.

[Jilly]

Jennifer Aniston. Noone else even in the same stratosphere. She is my one get out of jail free card.

Don't you think she's probably hard to get along with? She goes through a lot of men it seems like.

[Brianfo]

Don't you think she's probably hard to get along with? She goes through a lot of men it seems like.

I think she gets a bum rap. If I was tappin it, I could put up with it.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Easy: Nicole Kidman from Eyes Wide Shut.

[Rain Man]

Easy: Nicole Kidman from Eyes Wide Shut.


All of the blood just left my brain for other regions.

[Ebolapox]

ya know, I change from marilyn monroe to scarlett johansson.

[SDChiefs]

Kim Kardashian hands down. Id tear it up til its raw.

[jwazzie]

I am deciding between Old School and New School.

Old School (even though she doesn't look it): Katie Couric
New School: Jenna Fischer

I will go with Jenna, because she is hiding something on The Office and I would to see what it is!

[InChiefsHeaven]

Paula Abdul back in the day...

...there, I said it. And I don't care what anyone thinks.

[Over-Head]

What piece of ass do you select?
Easy, my wife :thumb:

[SDChiefs]

Easy, my wife :thumb:

I concur. :D

[OnTheWarpath15]

Seems a lot of people are not considering the "maintenance costs."

"X" in her prime isn't always going to be in her prime.

Probably would be smart to choose someone that will age, or has aged well.

[JohninGpt]

Seems a lot of people are not considering the "maintenance costs."

"X" in her prime isn't always going to be in her prime.

Probably would be smart to choose someone that will age, or has aged well.

3. The item will be maintained at no cost to you.

In this game, anyone can afford high maintenance ass.

[DJ's left nut]

No contest: Monica Bellucci.

http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/9905/monica_bellucci_016.jpg (http://img16.imageshack.us/i/monica_bellucci_016.jpg/)

http://kratzbuerste.antville.org/static/kratzbuerste/images/monica_bellucci.jpg

[DJ's left nut]

Seems a lot of people are not considering the "maintenance costs."

"X" in her prime isn't always going to be in her prime.

Probably would be smart to choose someone that will age, or has aged well.

Mine's 46 and is hotter than any of these flavor of the month 20 something's that will be forgotten about in 4 years.

Gimme 22 year old Bellucci and I get 2+ decades of that...

[RJ]

In all honesty, I would pick my wife because I love her and she loves me and I know we can put up with each until death do us part. But for the fun of it, I'm going with a young Sophia Loren cause she was hot then, she was still hot at 60 and she is a kick-ass Eye-Talian cook. My wife is a good sport, I don't think she'll begrudge me this choice.


http://i47.tinypic.com/ivwq3p.jpg

[OnTheWarpath15]

Mine's 46 and is hotter than any of these flavor of the month 20 something's that will be forgotten about in 4 years.

Gimme 22 year old Bellucci and I get 2+ decades of that...

Exactly.

Someone mentioned Pam Anderson in her prime.

You have your choice of one piece of ass for the rest of your life, and you choose 10 years of PA in her prime?

[gblowfish]

Any of the following would be just dandy:
Barbara Eden Age 25
Kathleen Turner Age 24
Patti McGwire (Playboy Years)

Or all three, yowza!

[Joie]

Aces, of course...but since I get to keep him too....


Dale Earnhardt Jr. :evil:

[Iowanian]

This isn't hypothetical, its' a healthy marriage.

[Jilly]

Aces, of course...but since I get to keep him too....


Dale Earnhardt Jr. :evil:

where've you been? How's the little one?

[big nasty kcnut]

Kylie minogue i love her for younger one lacey von erich

[MahiMike]

Heidi Klum

[Rain Man]

Seems a lot of people are not considering the "maintenance costs."

"X" in her prime isn't always going to be in her prime.

Probably would be smart to choose someone that will age, or has aged well.


Or someone who died young before you got tired of them.

[ChiTown]

In all honesty, I would pick my wife because I love her and she loves me and I know we can put up with each until death do us part. But for the fun of it, I'm going with a young Sophia Loren cause she was hot then, she was still hot at 60 and she is a kick-ass Eye-Talian cook. My wife is a good sport, I don't think she'll begrudge me this choice.


http://i47.tinypic.com/ivwq3p.jpg

Built like women were supposed to be built.

[Joie]

where've you been? How's the little one?

Taking care of the baby girl. She's fantastic, 8 1/2 months old now. She's got 4 teeth and is just wonderful. Thank you for asking:)

[Lonewolf Ed]

Sofia Vergara. She is all I need.

[Chieftain58]

http://mixednutsblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/mimi.jpg

Mimi---LOL

[big nasty kcnut]

Chieftain58 nuthook for doing that.

[Frazod]

Holly Body, circa 1995. :drool:

[Dallas Chief]

Marisa Miller

2nd choice: chick in new avatar(you may recognize from the shag paint thread)

Marisa Miller. I concur sir. I concur. There is no second place. Oh wait... Elizabeth Shue circa The Karate Kid.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/christina_applegate_biography_2_11383.jpg

Christina Applegate. She has aged well.

http://imstars.aufeminin.com/stars/fan/christina-applegate/christina-applegate-20050216-25562.jpg

[DJJasonp]

You mean in case my wife were no longer around? :)

Either Jennifer Connely circa "Career Opportunites"....or Kate Beckinsale (take your pick...underworld vinyl or pocahontas from "Click")

[Rain Man]

Christina Applegate. She has aged well.



Not to be insensitive, but didn't she lose some of the features that are most outstanding about those photos?

[Mojo Jojo]

Rachel Welch. End of story.

[stevieray]

Rachel Welch. End of story.

Raquel's average cousin?

[cardken]

Denise Richards "Wild Things" era
Jessica Simpson "Dukes Of Hazzard" era
Marisa Tomei any era
Jamie Pressley current era

[Rain Man]

Going with the "spouse approves and adds to the harem" assumption, it's got to be one of the Fantastic Four:

Victoria Principal of the 80s
Nicole Kidman of the 90s
Salma Hayek of the early 00s
Halle Berry of the early 00s

[Mojo Jojo]

Raquel's average cousin?

I just want that piece of ass...name is optional:D

[el borracho]

Most beautiful woman in the world: Laetitia Casta.

[fan4ever]

This thread would have been much better if you were required to post a pic.

[LaChapelle]

Little Johnnie: Pull your dick out
it's a hershey kiss

[RJ]

Most beautiful woman in the world: Laetitia Casta.


Homeboy has a point.


http://i45.tinypic.com/34nr3v5.jpg

[BillSelfsTrophycase]

I win


http://iamthelife.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/panama-cricket-grils21.jpg

[black angus]

Either or both of Catherine Zeta-Jones or Jessica Alba.

[Simply Red]

pretty simple here, Scarlett J. ala 'Match Point'

[chiefsfan4life1978]

eva mendes.

[JD10367]

ya know, I change from marilyn monroe to scarlett johansson.

That's not a bad alternative.

[Armyofme]

Milla Jovovich or Reese Witherspoon

[Frazod]

You know, I may have to switch over to Rocketeer/Career Opportunities era Jennifer Connelly.

But she's not allowed to ever get bony. :grr:

[jidar]

I can't figure it out.

Okay planet find a girl who fits my requirements

personality: Smart and quirky. Wont roll her eyes when I play video games or talk about quantum mechanics or politics.
tits: C cup minimum. Cliche I know, but damnit I like big tits.
not too skinny.
Sultry eyes


So who is it?

Shit I just realized I described Angeline Jolie.

[kaplin42]

All in all, I'll stick with what I have thank you very much. I'm pretty sure it's as good as it gets.

Pretend your boyfriend isn't reading this forum and answer honestly.

[stevieray]

already there....life is good.

[kaplin42]

You mean in case my wife were no longer around? :)

Either Jennifer Connely circa "Career Opportunites"....

EPIC!!!

[kaplin42]

Betty Page
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f30/kaplin42/betty-page.jpg

or

Julie Newmar
http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f30/kaplin42/JulieNewmar.jpg

Both in their prime of course.

[HC_Chief]

Jenny McCarthy.

She is funny, she is hot, and she is a freak in the sack. That is a damn fine combination right there :thumb:

[JD10367]

Between this and the art thread, I'm highly impressed at the level of taste on this board. :clap:

[kysirsoze]

I can't figure it out.

Okay planet find a girl who fits my requirements

personality: Smart and quirky. Wont roll her eyes when I play video games or talk about quantum mechanics or politics.
tits: C cup minimum. Cliche I know, but damnit I like big tits.
not too skinny.
Sultry eyes


So who is it?

Shit I just realized I described Angeline Jolie.

I think you described my possible choice... Uma Thurman. She seems cool as hell which would be important to me if I was going to be stuck with her for a long time. She's aging pretty well, too.

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/2707/umathurman3.jpg

http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/7854/umathurman12.jpg

Not sure if this is who I'd settle on, but she'd be on the short list.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

You know, I was thinking about this, and I think that my answer might have to be Shakira.

She's got a tremendous natural body, and she's always in shape.
She's a belly dancer.
She's intelligent. She speaks 4 languages.
She's a humanitarian
She's not an attention seeker.
She'll have just a twinge of an accent.

Anyone who is that flexible could fuck you to death.


http://earsucker.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/shakira.jpg