Hypothetical: You Lost Your Appeal

[Rain Man]

You didn't mean to kill him. You just wanted to make him suffer a little bit, to pay for not putting extra cheese on your Whopper, Jr. So you turned off the car and went into the store with your numchuks and your pliers and your circular saw, but by the time you got the saw plugged in he had collapsed and died of a heart attack.

It was obviously natural causes, but there was a security camera and witnesses and you didn't have the money to buy a lawyer with connections, and your public defender had a caseload of over 2,000 defendants. After he offered a plea bargain to the prosecutor, it emerged that he had his page numbering wrong due to a glitch in the latest version of Microsoft Word, so your plea bargain was for the death penalty.

You sat in your cell for the next 22 years, getting your law degree, selling your art, taunting the Unabomber, writing romantic letters to women who want to marry you, and moving the furniture of that blind terrorist sheikh. But at some point your time came up, and now the guard and the priest are there and they're asking you to make a choice.

There are five legal methods of execution in the United States. Which one do you want? Poll to follow unless I get a call from the governor.

[DaKCMan AP]

DaKCMan AP would get pardoned for being Awesome.

[SenselessChiefsFan]

If I lost my appeal, I would be in the gym more.

[Jenson71]

Firing squad seems like it would be the least painful (assuming the proposed lethal injection pain theories are correct) and also the most noble and traditional. No blindfold.

[Rain Man]

I'm curious why people are picking lethal injection over lethal gas. I don't know my chemistry, but it seems like the gas is the same thing but you don't have to get an IV/shot.

[DJ's left nut]

I'm curious why people are picking lethal injection over lethal gas. I don't know my chemistry, but it seems like the gas is the same thing but you don't have to get an IV/shot.

You injest it through your lungs rather than straight into your bloodstream. It's going to take a significantly longer time to take hold, IMO. Convulsions and vomiting on my way out doesn't sound like much fun.

And the lethal injection machine administers a first shot that pretty much puts you into a coma before the nasty stuff is injected.

Eh, I went with firing squad anyway. "Boom, boom -- out go the lights"

[FD]

There is only one correct answer, and its Guillotine.

[LaChapelle]

After watching sunday's rerun of Oz
anything but a licked spoon in the hands of a skinhead

[88TG88]

A bullet to the noodle would suffice.

[kysirsoze]

You injest it through your lungs rather than straight into your bloodstream. It's going to take a significantly longer time to take hold, IMO. Convulsions and vomiting on my way out doesn't sound like much fun.

And the lethal injection machine administers a first shot that pretty much puts you into a coma before the nasty stuff is injected.

Eh, I went with firing squad anyway. "Boom, boom -- out go the lights"

Having done no legitimate research, I remember in 'Dead Man Walking' them describing how even though you're unconscious, you are still in a great deal of horrible pain as the lethal injection ravages your system. This questionable source of knowledge turned me off of the needle.

I wouldn't want firing squad unless I could audition the shooters to verify their accuracy. The last thing I want is a shot in the throat or something that I have to bleed out after.

I went electric chair. There's just something dramatic about strapping into a throne-like device and telling that bastard to throw the switch.

[huffmd15]

just do em all at once. why screw around with it and one way not get the job done

[alnorth]

Having done no legitimate research, I remember in 'Dead Man Walking' them describing how even though you're unconscious, you are still in a great deal of horrible pain as the lethal injection ravages your system. This questionable source of knowledge turned me off of the needle.

I wouldn't want firing squad unless I could audition the shooters to verify their accuracy. The last thing I want is a shot in the throat or something that I have to bleed out after.

I went electric chair. There's just something dramatic about strapping into a throne-like device and telling that bastard to throw the switch.

Was 'Dead Man Walking' an article in the Enquirer?

[DJ's left nut]

Having done no legitimate research, I remember in 'Dead Man Walking' them describing how even though you're unconscious, you are still in a great deal of horrible pain as the lethal injection ravages your system. This questionable source of knowledge turned me off of the needle.

I wouldn't want firing squad unless I could audition the shooters to verify their accuracy. The last thing I want is a shot in the throat or something that I have to bleed out after.

I went electric chair. There's just something dramatic about strapping into a throne-like device and telling that bastard to throw the switch.

The theory behind that coma is that it pretty much puts your mind into a catatonic state and is supposed to all but 'detach' your nerve endings.

"Dead Man Walking" is every bit the propoganda piece that "An Inconvenient Truth" is.

From a purely physiological perspective, the kind of horrors described by those nightmare descriptions are impossible. Since we can't exactly ask anyone how it felt, I'm gonna stick with the science here.

[Hammock Parties]

Firing squad. I want to feel the knot in my gut and the bullets ripping through my body.

[Iowanian]

I'm going to choose "Other" and select "Freshly bathed victoria secret model naked face sit of death.


If i had to pick from that list, I think firing squad is the easier out.

[cdcox]

I've had my appendix out and a pin pulled from my finger under anesthesia and didn't feel a thing. I'm going to assume that for lethal injection it works the same way.

With the lethal gas, that is basically hydrogen cyanide. You are going to be aware of the effects for a while and witnesses say it isn't pretty.

[Reaper16]

Firing Squad. Right before being shot I will quote Stringer Bell's last words so that my death would go like: "Well, get on with it muhf-" *gets shot to death*

[notorious]

Antifreeze

[MoreLemonPledge]

I'll never lose my appeal. I'll just get more attractive.

Like George Clooney.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Whoever chose hanging is a self loathing motherfucker.

[salame]

gas would be ok I think
go to sleep and chill

[MoreLemonPledge]

gas would be ok I think
go to sleep and chill

No, your eyes burn and you vomit uncontrollably. Not cool.

[FD]

You guys are really underestimating the appeal of the guillotine. Its painless, and your brain stays alive for at least a few seconds afterwards. Thats much cooler than anything on this list.

[T-post Tom]

Personally, I'd go with the following NSFW option:

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[HoneyBadger]

The electric chair. I would hope whoever flipped the switch would have a guilty conscience for killing me. It would be sweet revenge

[GoHuge]

I'm curious why people are picking lethal injection over lethal gas. I don't know my chemistry, but it seems like the gas is the same thing but you don't have to get an IV/shot.It would be nice to get the opinions from the people that died in the Holacaust. I'm going bet they'd prefer lethal injection over CO2 asphixiation. Just a hunch. With the gas your actually living the death. With the injection you instantly go to sleep and your injected with potassium chloride to stop your heart. Zero suffering unless you are terrified of needles.

For me as long as I'm not burned, beaten, or tortured to death I'll take it. Of course we all want it to happen quick or in our sleep. I wonder if the Jesus train stops for the people that died in their sleep?

[salame]

No, your eyes burn and you vomit uncontrollably. Not cool.

It's not liek teh moveez where you just pass out?

[Jenson71]

You guys are really underestimating the appeal of the guillotine. Its painless, and your brain stays alive for at least a few seconds afterwards. Thats much cooler than anything on this list.

Since your brain stays alive, wouldn't that be really painful?

[Miles]

Since your brain stays alive, wouldn't that be really painful?

I'm hardly great with biology but wouldn't the connection to the pain receptors be severed?

[kysirsoze]

Since your brain stays alive, wouldn't that be really painful?

shock

[Miles]

The electric chair. I would hope whoever flipped the switch would have a guilty conscience for killing me. It would be sweet revenge

http://www.arxvaldex.com/shop/images/shocker.jpg

[Sofa King]

http://liberaldoomsayer.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/jump_off_cliff1.jpg


or


try to find a way in to the military, and have them send me (well equiped) on a one way trip over-seas and let me take down some of those cock-suckers in a blaze of glory.....

[InChiefsHeaven]

How come Lethal Injection isn't just a shit load of morphine? I mean, you go out happy and painless, you're dead, everyone's happy...

...instead they do that potassium chlorate shit or whatever it is and it causes and uproar.

...it just shouldn't be that hard to humanely kill a person.

...and, I didn't choose any method, because I plan to escape at lights out. I've been tunneling behind a poster of Rob Zombie in my cell. Used to be a poster of Alice Cooper, and before that it was Elvis. But I've been using this little tiny set of tweezers to dig and dig. Seems impossible, I know. But, I literally got nothing else to do so...

[Sofa King]

How come Lethal Injection isn't just a shit load of morphine? I mean, you go out happy and painless, you're dead, everyone's happy...

...instead they do that potassium chlorate shit or whatever it is and it causes and uproar.

...it just shouldn't be that hard to humanely kill a person.

...and, I didn't choose any method, because I plan to escape at lights out. I've been tunneling behind a poster of Rob Zombie in my cell. Used to be a poster of Alice Cooper, and before that it was Elvis. But I've been using this little tiny set of tweezers to dig and dig. Seems impossible, I know. But, I literally got nothing else to do so...

i'm telling....

[Crush]

I would get married and then get nagged to death.


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[HemiEd]

You injest it through your lungs rather than straight into your bloodstream. It's going to take a significantly longer time to take hold, IMO. Convulsions and vomiting on my way out doesn't sound like much fun.

And the lethal injection machine administers a first shot that pretty much puts you into a coma before the nasty stuff is injected.

Eh, I went with firing squad anyway. "Boom, boom -- out go the lights"

I agree with you, on the condition that they are good shots. It would suck for them to have to reload, to finish you off.

[Sofa King]

and why does this thread title insinuate that i've lost my appeal?? i kinda thought i was entering my prime....


:huh:

[Garcia Bronco]

I'm curious why people are picking lethal injection over lethal gas. I don't know my chemistry, but it seems like the gas is the same thing but you don't have to get an IV/shot.

Gas is violent

[Rain Man]

I agree with you, on the condition that they are good shots. It would suck for them to have to reload, to finish you off.

If you hadn't taken one to the larynx, it'd be a great opportunity for smack talk.

"There are six of you! With guns! And I'm over here tied up! And you still couldn't kill me? What kind of losers are you? My mom could kill a man from that range."

[DumbHillbillies]

The last one sounds kind of painful. lol