View Full Version : Life *** Official S#!T My Kid Says Thread ***
I've been doing this on Facebook for a while with family and friends. Thought it might make for some good reading on here.
Post the funny things your kids say or do.
My kid is 3 years old.
(Wife and I suddenly notice the water in the bathroom has been running for a long-long time)...
Together: "(Kid) what are you doing?"
(Looong wait... wanter still running)
Wife: "(Kid)... What are you doing?"
(Longer pause... water still running)
Me: "(Kid)! What are you doing!?!"
(Long pause.... water stops)
Kid: "OK... the (bottle of) soap is all gone now!"
BigMeatballDave
07-28-2010, 11:33 PM
My son is 11. He stop saying funny/cute things. Just kind of a smart ass now.
rambleonthruthefog
07-28-2010, 11:39 PM
my twins like to say goddamnit any time something happens they don't like. they dropped a cheeto: goddamnit. sometimes they beat me to the punch. i'll spill something or something and before i can get the words out, there is one of my sons "goddamnit"
My 9 year old likes to say "I like chicken" when he gets asked a question he doesn't feel like answering.
rambleonthruthefog
07-28-2010, 11:40 PM
My son is 11. He stop saying funny/cute things. Just kind of a smart ass now.
same with my 11 year old. bout a year ago i started telling her, "your not longer cute, people don't care what you think or have to say"
Bugeater
07-28-2010, 11:45 PM
My son has this annoying habit of saying "I know" every time I try to explain something to him. No you little creep, you DON'T know, and you'd better fucking listen to me.
My son has this annoying habit of saying "I know" every time I try to explain something to him. No you little creep, you DON'T know, and you'd better ****ing listen to me.Is it "I know" or "I knooooooow"
Bugeater
07-28-2010, 11:58 PM
Is it "I know" or "I knooooooow"
The shorter, teenager version, where they think they do know everything.
Jewish Rabbi
07-29-2010, 12:47 AM
My 9 year old likes to say "I like chicken" when he gets asked a question he doesn't feel like answering.
Is it weird that I do that too? (Honest to god)
Pitt Gorilla
07-29-2010, 12:55 AM
My 9 year old likes to say "I like chicken" when he gets asked a question he doesn't feel like answering.http://mercysbrown.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/turtles1.jpg
Coach
07-29-2010, 03:23 AM
Give them the back head slap and say "Well, unknow then."
Posted via Mobile Device
Is it weird that I do that too? (Honest to god)I like chicken.
kindra68
07-29-2010, 08:30 AM
My son has this annoying habit of saying "I know" every time I try to explain something to him. No you little creep, you DON'T know, and you'd better ****ing listen to me.
TheManChild did the “I knoooow” crap till I started doing this to him..
For no reason I would look over at him and go (excited look on face)“hey! (then not excited look on face) Oh nevermind, you already know.” Then turn around and go back to whatever it was I was doing. Watching tv, cooking supper, driving down the road. It didn’t matter what I was doing I would just make it a point to get his attention and do this several times a day. Talk about an easy way to piss a teenager off. It was great.
Jenson71
07-29-2010, 08:36 AM
When two of my cousins were younger, J, the older brother, went into my grandpa's barber shop and found an axe in the storage room. He and the younger one went out into the backyard, where J promptly cut off the tip of his brother's index finger.
My great aunt went to Mass the day she heard about it, and was so overcome by anxiety from the situation that she fainted during one of the prayers.
RedNFeisty
07-29-2010, 08:38 AM
My three yr old girls has started saying: Dumbass, suck my balls!
No matter what, I can't get her to stop. The madder she gets the louder the saying is. If she gets spanked, she says it through tears. It was funny for a minute.
Frosty
07-29-2010, 08:38 AM
My 9 year old likes to say "I like chicken" when he gets asked a question he doesn't feel like answering.
With my kids, it was "I like pie". Now they are in the smart ass teenager stage. It's amazing how a 15 year old can make "Okay" sound just like "F*ck you". :grr:
Jenson71
07-29-2010, 08:39 AM
When I was a kid, my grandma took me to the convent outside of Dubuque to see the nuns make caramels. Their factory was in a large barn, and when Sister opened the top barn door and looked at us, I stared up in bewildered eyes and asked, "Are you a witch!?"
My grandma did all she could to prevent her laughing, and the nun's unmentioned verdict was probably less fairy tales at home, more lives of the saints.
RedNFeisty
07-29-2010, 08:46 AM
With my kids, it was "I like pie". Now they are in the smart ass teenager stage. It's amazing how a 15 year old can make "Okay" sound just like "F*ck you". :grr:
Yep, sounds like my nine year old's "Okay".
Al Bundy
07-29-2010, 09:16 AM
"I look more like Uncle Jay than you."
Edit. I don't have kids.
Sofa King
07-29-2010, 09:38 AM
Sometimes it's what they DON'T say that get's ya....
One of my nieces was going through the first pairs of underwear stage... We were horsing around all day doing crap (i like to screw around with the kids, they call me "crazy" all the time... kinda fun being the crazy uncle..)
anyways, i was watching TV and after about 5 minutes of DEAD SILENCE, i thought uh oh... and i begun my search... what candy or pop did they find, or what did they break and where are they hiding...
I went into the bathroom, and there she was on the rug, underwear off, lighting dabbing them with a towel she found under the sink... it so damn cute and hilarious i couldn't help but laugh... the look of sadness on her face was priceless..
My three yr old girls has started saying: Dumbass, suck my balls!
No matter what, I can't get her to stop. The madder she gets the louder the saying is. If she gets spanked, she says it through tears. It was funny for a minute.
My thought after first reading this post was how you could spank a 3 year old.
My second thought was how did she learn "dumbass, suck my balls".
But at this point I can't stop laughing at the image of a little 3 year old girl shreaking "dumbass, suck my balls!" again and again.
Great story!
Donger
07-29-2010, 10:32 AM
"Daddy, you are being obsequious!"
Donger
07-29-2010, 10:32 AM
Oh, and my daughter's favorite: "Mumbler!"
talastan
07-29-2010, 10:36 AM
My son overheard a particular heated "debate" between the wife and myself when he was about four. The next day while riding with my Mother-In-Law, who was babysitting him, he decided he wanted to go to McDonalds. So he tells my MIL, "Nana, I want a hamburger and some ****ing french fries." Of course I get blamed but it was actually the wife who taught our son the colorful metaphor.
Slayer Diablo
07-29-2010, 03:05 PM
When I see a beautiful woman, millions of my mine shout in almost perfect unison: "MAKE ME!" They're so adorable before they're conceived...
Iowanian
07-29-2010, 03:10 PM
My 4 year old has the vocabulary of a 10 year old without the annoying trendy words....my 2 year old is also gifted with word....holy shit some of the things those 2 say.
Ex. the other day, 4yr old bashes her head on a table, gets a lump, bruise and 3" line that was * * close to being stitches I think. She takes it pretty well, and after a few tears goes up for bath time.
After bath, she runs down the stair, with a beaming grin and says (I have no effing Idea where this kid comes up with this stuff).
"Daddy! That whack to my head hurt worse than someone throwing a lego at your buttcrack"
Iowanian
07-29-2010, 03:15 PM
My thought after first reading this post was how you could spank a 3 year old.
My second thought was how did she learn "dumbass, suck my balls".
Great story!
Easy, turn them over your knee and give them the appropriate number and intensity of smacks to pay for their crime.
How did she learn that? Her daddy is "Get ass cancer" man of CP before HamasJenkem took it.
Demonpenz
07-29-2010, 03:26 PM
I like to play video games with my 4 year old nephews and just walk around in circles like I don't know how to play the game correctly. He gets so mad like NOOOO YOU GO THIS WAY THISSSSS WAYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU STUPID?
Sofa King
07-29-2010, 03:50 PM
I like to play video games with my 4 year old nephews and just walk around in circles like I don't know how to play the game correctly. He gets so mad like NOOOO YOU GO THIS WAY THISSSSS WAYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU STUPID?
hahaha, i do that same kind of crap.
Easy, turn them over your knee and give them the appropriate number and intensity of smacks to pay for their crime.
How did she learn that? Her daddy is "Get ass cancer" man of CP before HamasJenkem took it.
I'm not opposed to spanking, but I've never even once had the thought of spanking my 3.5 year old son. I'm fully prepared to need to one day, but I just can't see any behavior by a child that young that would merit it.
Maybe I'm spoiled and have a pretty easily managed child.
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