How do you tell a girl

[HoneyBadger]

So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

[Sassy Squatch]

Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.
Once again with the win...

[Shogun]

Just tell her you prefer no hair. If you want to get serious with the girl or are already, there should be no problems.

[Huffman83]

So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

[Demonpenz]

Tell her in caveman days the womans entire body would be hairy but not the place most beautiful.

[Shogun]

Send her an email maybe

[Mecca]

Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

[HoneyBadger]

Tell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

Ha!

[Pablo]

WTF kind of wookie are you dating?

Tell her it's 2010 and leisure suits and pubic hair belong in the 70's.

[Simply Red]

You have to, just tell her. Nothing wrong w/ telling her to adjust. Not a thing.

[HoneyBadger]

So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

Clean yes, but its like she doesn't know what a razor is.

[Tylerthigpen!1!]

Pick all the hair out your teeth and leave it on her tooth brush.

[Mecca]

Of course it'd be funny if he told her this and she responded "yea well you need to get a bigger dick but we don't all get what we want"

[HoneyBadger]

You have to, just tell her. Nothing wrong w/ telling her to adjust. Not a thing.

You don't think that would offend her or anything?

[Bane]

I'd just be honest and say I cant eat the pussy with that mess going on down there.

[Radar Chief]

WTF kind of wookie are you dating?

She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

[Fish]

I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

Then be a selfish jerk. It's a proven method. It works.

[Shogun]

She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

lollllllllllllllllllllllllll :clap:ROFL

[RustShack]

Leave little hints. Like have a vagina trimming guide on your coffee table for her to see. Leave a web page up on your computer about how guys prefer shave pussy. Maybe have your razor out in the bathroom. Shave your face and tell her you love the feel of soft shaved skin. So on and so forth.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Just tell her that stink sticks to hair and then wave your hand over your nose while gratuitously looking at her crotch. She'll get the picture.

[HoneyBadger]

Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

[kstater]

Hand her a razor and tell her you'll be in bed when she's done.

[jojomontana]

Tell her it'd turn you on if she'd let you play greenskeeper on her. Break out the Barbasol and the Gillette and make it fun.

[RustShack]

Do it again, and keep saying for a week.. damn it theres another pube in my mouth.

[MahiMike]

Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

[Pablo]

She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

[Bane]

She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

Maybe sneak her a hint.Tell her casually that you just had to trim up your "area" cause you really don't care for a lot of hair in that region,and see if she gets it.

[Huffman83]

Clean yes, but its like she doesn't know what a razor is.

I'm sorry I need pictures to get a good idea.

[kstater]

Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.

[Mecca]

She's young, but I'm pretty sure I'm the first explorer of this new land, so I'm not sure if she knows the expectations of guys. That's why I don't want to offened her when I tell her.

First explorer, are you dating someone in high school?

[bevischief]

Shower with her...

[The Franchise]

Tell her that you prefer it trimmed.


Or just wax it while she's sleeping.


Either one should work.

[Donger]

Make a joke of it. Next time you're down that way, break out a machete and yell, "I'm going in, baby!"

Or, just give yours a good manscape and make sure she notices.

[Radar Chief]

Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the fuck, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

[HoneyBadger]

Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

[Donger]

Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

A Weed Whacker might be a bit too dramatic.

[The Franchise]

Tell her it'd turn you on if she'd let you play greenskeeper on her. Break out the Barbasol and the Gillette and make it fun.

Maybe sneak her a hint.Tell her casually that you just had to trim up your "area" cause you really don't care for a lot of hair in that region,and see if she gets it.

Offer to help her maintain the undergrowth. She might be intrigued.

These.

[shitgoose]

Have her watch that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets that pubic hair stuck in his throat. IIRC its the same one as Krazy Eyes Killah, which is worth a watch anyhow.

After you get done watching tell her you hope you don't ever have to have the same problem as Larry. And also ask her if she's your Caucasian

[Mecca]

Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the fuck, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

Maybe he should move on from the high school first.

[Donger]

Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

Are you new at this?

[kstater]

Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy?


This. Plz report the results.

[JD10367]

She must look like she's got Buckwheat in a leg lock.

http://www.footballbabble.com/images/randy-moss.jpg

[KCUnited]

I'm sure her homemade dim sum and crab ragoon more than make up for it.

[The Franchise]

Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?

Trim yours and then ask her if she likes it like that? If she does....then bring up that you feel the same about a girls region.

If she doesn't care.....then wax it while she's sleeping.

[Pablo]

Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.And the hair loss is probably from the HIV. No biggie. Give her a kiss on the cheek and it's all cool.

[HoneyBadger]

Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

[Pablo]

Are you new at this?
Well, he is the first explorer of this particular female's Grand Canyon; so perhaps he's young and inexperienced himself.

[Pablo]

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.I've heard mexican's menstrual blood makes for a nice hot sauce. Better bottle that shit and refrigerate it though.

[Simply Red]

You don't think that would offend her or anything?

Honestly? no. I think if she cares for you, she'll make the move. Esp. if it's such a seeming 'deal-breaker'

[Donger]

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

Yeah, someone else's but not her own.

[KCSupersized]

Run. Fast. A woman like that will keep a messy house.

This

[Bane]

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

In that case tell her to....

Por favor, afeitarse la vulva!

[kstater]

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.

Then give her $2 and tell her to clean up.

[Pablo]

Yeah, someone else's but not her own.You can only Pine-Sol a dirt floor so many times before you realize shit ain't working out.

[Mr. Laz]

So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.
make it a kinky game ... work it out so "you have always wanted to shave a girl" or something.

Take a shower together and then pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and start giving her a hot oil message then break out the shaving equipment and do it yourself as part of the sex.

just suggestions :shrug:

[kstater]

ATM, then when she gets pissed tell her "oh, you don't like shit in your mouth either."

[Bearcat]

Leave little hints. Like have a vagina trimming guide on your coffee table for her to see. Leave a web page up on your computer about how guys prefer shave pussy. Maybe have your razor out in the bathroom. Shave your face and tell her you love the feel of soft shaved skin. So on and so forth.

Yeah, girls love passive-aggressive guys.... and the first two are so subtle. LMAO

Hand her a razor and tell her you'll be in bed when she's done.

That's more like it.

[HoneyBadger]

Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

Puppies work better.

[Huffman83]

She's mexican so she knows how to keep a house clean.


Wow....that actually explains a lot and is funny.

Still..pictures.

I'd say grit your teeth through it till you're both more invested in the relationship. Don't bring it up when you're in bed or anything, but tell her what you're into or at least find out if she's ever done any landscaping.

[Mecca]

Give her some Natty Light that should make someone her age do anything.

[Simply Red]

If she likes ya' brah, i'm tellin' you, she'll take care of it. If not; remember ALL porn stars offer private sessions for about 400 dollars per hr. That too; is an option.

it's your world, baby.

[Zebedee DuBois]

...

Or just wax it while she's sleeping.

...
ROFL

[Pablo]

make it a kinky game ... work it out so "you have always wanted to shave a girl" or something.

Take a shower together and then pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and start giving her a hot oil message then break out the shaving equipment and do it yourself as part of the sex.

just suggestions :shrug:Fuck that. Be direct. Don't hem and haw about it.

I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.

[CoMoChief]

So are we talking she just doesn't trim the hedges or she doesn't wash down there?

Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

[kysirsoze]

This thread is awesome.

[Mecca]

Pablo doesn't fuck around, which means he must provide something to get exactly what he wants.

[Simply Red]

I know i'd have to tell her, and totally would.

[Huffman83]

**** that. Be direct. Don't hem and haw about it.

I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.

He's got a point. Just don't make it seem like you're insulting her.

[BigMeatballDave]

How young is she?

[Bugeater]

Do I tell her when were getting hot and heavy? Or like on the phone when I can't see her?
I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I'd pull out a bag of boar jizz and say "Look if you want plugged I have this , but I ain't stickin my dick in no forrest!

[Huffman83]

Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

I just wanted to clarify.

With pictures.

[angelo]

I would just be happy to be getting some and buy some laxatone for the hairballs.
94987

Ang

[Simply Red]

Uhh.....either way it's a god damn problem.

This isn't 1975

I fully endorse this.

[Mecca]

How young is she?

We'll find out that she's really 15 and the daughter of his illegal immigrant cleaning lady that his parents employ.

[Huffman83]

I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

awesome...:clap:

[Pablo]

He's got a point. Just don't make it seem like you're insulting her.I wasn't rude. I just told her I thought landing strips were sexy.

Every girl likes to feel sexy and likes to think their man thinks they're sexy.

[Rain Man]

Pull them out one at a time every time she's naked, and tell her you like S&M.

[BigMeatballDave]

I'm talking to this chick right now. She was clean shaven when I met her. Which some guys dig. It's not my thing. I like a little grass on the playing field. I told her I dig landing strips. So she grew one. If it gets out of control, I'll tell her I like well groomed landing strips. Problem solved.Landing strip is fine, but I prefer it to smooth and hairless.

[Pablo]

I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.This made me LAWL.

Hey babe, can't wait to see ya Saturday night. Hope you took a weed eater to those thigh hedges. LOL..

[HoneyBadger]

Are you new at this?

No, its just everyone girl I've been with didn't have this problem. I didn't even think girls grew pube hair anymore

[Pablo]

No, its just everyone girl I've been with didn't have this problem. I didn't even think girls grew pube hair anymoreITZ THE STEROIDS IN DA CHICKEN. MAKIN THEYRE TITTAHS BIGGER AND MAKIN EM PUBE-LESS.

[Fritz88]

Is she older or something? Younger girls rarely have this problem...I don't even mind hair provided it's trimmed up but there's always a line, no Demi Moore 80's stuff.

You don't mind any hole that provides some level of warmth to your thing.

[Huffman83]

I wasn't rude. I just told her I thought landing strips were sexy.

Every girl likes to feel sexy and likes to think their man thinks they're sexy.


Sorry, I wasn't implying you were rude. Just for him to make sure he isn't.

[Mecca]

Show her scary movie, when the guy pulls out the hedge trimmer on the chicks bush say "that looks familiar"

[JD10367]

"Honey... Do you think you could shave... you know... down there?"

"Ay! What is it with you gringos?!? The last hombre I dated got all pissed off 'cause I wouldn't let him put it in my ass any more, and now this?!?"

[Mecca]

You don't mind any hole that provides some level of warmth to your thing.

That's just like...your opinion man.

[Pablo]

Make sure you have at least a couple of PIIHB conversations early on in the relationship so she knows that's important to you as well.

You can't just date a chick for a year and then start the PIIHB convo; she'll either think you've been fucking another girl or think you've been watching too much porn and are a sicko.

[CoMoChief]

Then be a selfish jerk. It's a proven method. It works.

Sadly this is true. I recently dated this chick for a while and she was completely bald. Shaved everytime she showered, kept that shit smooth as a baby's bottom. She said a couple boyfriends she had before me was a real asshole to her about it because she didn't shave at all(at the time)...and it was to the point where he just plain didn't have sex w/ her at all, grossed out about it and ended up cheating on her. Felt bad for her after she told me that, but shit like that will indeed change a girls habits down there. Hell even after they shave (prob will be some razor burn at first if she's the wookie you claim she is) they end up liking it, the way it feels etc, the way most guys will always like to go down on them....it will make them keep doing it.

If nothing else fails, tell her you LOVE eating pussy, but you ain't having that furburger for lunch unless that shit is shaved. BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

[Brock]

BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

No. Not at all.

[Mecca]

CoMo just said something completely bizarre...how...predictable.

[JD10367]

If nothing else fails, tell her you LOVE eating pussy, but you ain't having that furburger for lunch unless that shit is shaved. BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.

Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.)

[Pablo]

BUT.....if she does it, you have to shave too. It's just one of those rules.I haz confusion. Do you mean shaved as in total bald eagle? Or just trimming up the pubes and maybe shaving the sac or what?

[Huffman83]

Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

[Mecca]

Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.)

If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as fuck.

[Brock]

Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

I'm sure there's probably a Simply Weird thread about it.

[Huffman83]

If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as ****.

When I had surgery a few years back....I woke up w/out my pube fro not knowing that was going to happen.

Shit hasn't grown back in right ever since.

[Huffman83]

Also did my wife make fun of me?

Yeah she did, and she had every right to.

[HoneyBadger]

How young is she?

She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.

[BigMeatballDave]

Not smooth, though, either way.

Smooth on a girl = a bit pedophiliac.

Smooth on a guy = homo porn. (From what I've been told. Not that I've seen any of that stuff. Much.):spock: If you can look at an adult vag and think about a young girl, then you have issues.

[Mecca]

When I had surgery a few years back....I woke up w/out my pube fro not knowing that was going to happen.

Shit hasn't grown back in right ever since.

Well you shouldn't have a pube fro either, good rule of thumb, no one likes hair in their mouth. But there's a huge difference in shaving your shit and being trimmed.

[BigMeatballDave]

If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as fuck.This. I've never been with a woman that wanted me to shave.

[Huffman83]

Well you shouldn't have a pube fro either, good rule of thumb, no one likes hair in their mouth. But there's a huge difference in shaving your shit and being trimmed.

I'm red headed...it was a mane of FIRE!!!

[Mecca]

I'm red headed...it was a mane of FIRE!!!

I'm going to have nightmares now thank you.

[BigMeatballDave]

She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.Awesome. Have fun, dude! Just tell her you like eating pussy and ask is she wouldnt mind shaving it.

[Mecca]

Could be worse, wait till you have to have the convo about not using your razor to shave her legs.

[Huffman83]

I'm going to have nightmares now thank you.

You're welcome.

:evil:

[Marcellus]

Has manscaping ever been a topic of discussion at CP?

Oh yea.

[Simply Red]

what's her butt hair situation like?

[Mecca]

Oh yea.

Dane's gonna talk about shaving his ass again if you aren't careful.

[Pablo]

what's her butt hair situation like?And have you turned her onto anal bleaching yet?

[Mecca]

Anal bleaching lol, that just sounds unhealthy.

[JD10367]

She's 19, and has 19 years of built up sexual tension.

Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

[Huffman83]

what's her butt hair situation like?

I don't think you need to ask, I think it's a veritable forest down there.

[threebag]

Eat her ass less hair there.

[Pablo]

Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:WTF

[Mecca]

Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

Now we know why she drug her butt on the carpet.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

The easiest solution is to just keep cruising down the road until he finds the middle school.

[HoneyBadger]

If you ask any chick about it, from a friend to a date, they'll all respond with the idea that a guy completely shaving his business is creepy as ****.

We have obviously dated different women. All mine this less is better. I guess were not eskimo brothers :/

[Mecca]

So am I to believe this womans bush looks like Brian Wilson's beard?

[Buck]

Antifreeze.

[HoneyBadger]

what's her butt hair situation like?

The rest of her is naturally smooth. She doesn't grow much hair any where else. Maybe that's why she thinks she doesn't need to groom.

[Iowanian]

sorry to play out a joke but....


Put a red bandana over the top of it
then use your fingers to move it like a mouth and say
"Hide your wife, hide you kids, hide yo husband...."
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvRNt2PoJJwRsLNN4BTlaXZOocFYGkF0SUTMXbamJQTP3xLz8&t=1&usg=__lZWtmMjHaimN0HTML-K_0RKdzCM=

and then change the bandana angle and twang it a little while making Santana guitar mouth sounds.

[Bwana]

Hmmm? Well, Christmas isn't that far away, so perhaps a thoughtful early gift is in order, to help make your point?

If I may be so bold? Let me introduce you to the:

Kawasaki KCS-525A


http://www.mowdirect.co.uk/acatalog/KAWASAKI_KCS525A_LONG_REACH_HEDGE_CLIPPERS_300W.jpg

[Bearcat]

Well, that's just creepy, 'cause it means she was a horny 1-year-old. :shake:

I usually stick with one smiley, but in this case... :spock: LMAO :doh!:

[Archie F. Swin]

giver me her number....I'll call

[Simply Red]

Eat her ass less hair there.

http://i52.tinypic.com/5wdp1l.gif

[Pablo]

Eat her ass less hair there.With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

[Simply Red]

With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

http://i52.tinypic.com/5wdp1l.gif

[Huffman83]

With syrup or jelly. I prefer jelly.

The things they teach you in county lock up.

[bevischief]

I'd suggest posting something about it on her facebook page.

ROFL:clap:

[Huffman83]

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/snapsnap3.png

[GloryDayz]

Watch a porn with her and ask, "what the he11's wrong with those girls, they're shaven? Oh, sorry hon, the Capt. Jack Sparrow look looks good on you!!" Or, how 'bout this, "hey hon, are you gunna trim and go the spring-fresh route, or am I gunna exercise my options?"

[threebag]

Tell her that her mound of hair is preventing you from hitting bottom.

[Reerun_KC]

Hmmm? Well, Christmas isn't that far away, so perhaps a thoughtful early gift is in order, to help make your point?

If I may be so bold? Let me introduce you to the:

Kawasaki KCS-525A


http://www.mowdirect.co.uk/acatalog/KAWASAKI_KCS525A_LONG_REACH_HEDGE_CLIPPERS_300W.jpg

does that come in a 4 stroke model?

[threebag]

does that come in a 4 stroke model?

No but his girlfriend said he did.

[Norman Einstein]

You get to hide willie in the tunnel of love and you are complaining about a little hair?

I've heard it all now.

[Reerun_KC]

No but his girlfriend said he did.

HOLY Mother of Pearl!ROFL

[ChiefsCountry]

I've never had a girl that hasn't shaved it so a little hair would be something different for me to see.

[Simply Red]

I've never had a girl that hasn't shaved it so a little hair would be something different for me to see.

good seein ya

[Mecca]

You know what's worse than a lot of hair? The girl who has the 5 oclock shadow stubble from not shaving in 2 days...that can be painful.

[Ming the Merciless]

Tell her to watch this video and keep her coin purse shaved

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aYH1YNdYIkU?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aYH1YNdYIkU?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[luv]

You don't think that would offend her or anything?

You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

[Bwana]

does that come in a 4 stroke model?

No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

[Bane]

No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

JFC!!ROFL

[Shogun]

No, but it think you can order it with a turbo charger, which may come in handy if it's a case of extra thick brush. If it's really really harsh, there is always the:

Brush hog 3414 series!

http://www.psndealer.com/powersportsdlr/images/NewVehicles/NV77246_1.jpg

Yup, Took great care of my crabs! ROFL

[Bwana]

Yup, Took great care of my crabs! ROFL

I bet it did. Your just lucky you didn't lose your pecker! That Brush Hog will chop down small trees.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

Do the carpets match the drapes?

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Pablo doesn't fuck around, which means he must provide something to get exactly what he wants.

He's one of those 5' 4" dudes with a 14 inch cock I'm guessing.

[Delano]

He's one of those 5' 4" dudes with a 14 inch cock I'm guessing.

Akward..
Posted via Mobile Device

[luv]

Do the carpets match the drapes?

I'm thinking he doesn't want carpet. I mean, she should know that hardwoods are easier to keep clean and go with whatever color drapes she likes.

[Shogun]

http://www.gifflix.com/files/8089128842af.gif

[Nzoner]

Serious answer,back in the 80's my steady gf was neat but not shaved and even then I wanted a clean pvssy so I was lucky enough to find a pictorial in an adult mag of a guy helping a girl with the project.That Saturday before going out I showed it to her and told her how fun and sensual it looked and that "WE" should try this together.Later that night at the bar shortly before heading to her place I leaned over and reminded her about my suggestion.

So there I am lying in bed wondering wth was taking her so long when she came in the bedroom carrying all the works for the project.After a brief lecture on how I'd best be damn careful I went to work and all I'll say is that night's session was focking incredible.

Good luck.

[memyselfI]

I'm hoping that you are practicing what you preach and are keeping things in order as well. If not, then lead by example or stop whining.

[stevieray]

I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

[luv]

I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

The only one I remember is Old Mother Hubbard.

[Demonpenz]

d

[Slayer Diablo]

Start a conversation for what to do during the weekend. Talk about how you have a great plan lined up. Then in a progressively suave manner, list off the items like this: [slightly romantic activity], [romantic activity], shave her tw**, and then make love until the early morning.

...and you gotta say "shave your tw**" so it sounds like foreplay AND emphasizes that you're doing it together. ;)

[S&BJW]

So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

Good God man.....you need to come to a football forum to ask that? SOB...

Just tell mom your sister isn`t keeping clean.....

(huck yuck, knee slap)

[stevieray]

Start a conversation for what to do during the weekend. Talk about how you have a great plan lined up. Then in a progressively suave manner, list off the items like this: [slightly romantic activity], [romantic activity], shave her tw**, and then make love until the early morning.

...and you gotta say "shave your tw**" so it sounds like foreplay AND emphasizes that you're doing it together. ;)

I don't think twat sounds like foreplay...more like no play...good idea..just use a different term..like kootchie junction, etc..

[booger]

<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1fuDDqU6n4o?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1fuDDqU6n4o?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>

[Chiefs Rool]

you should be glad it wasn't kept up. If you weren't intimate, then there should have been no reason for her to trim or shave it. BUT, now that you finally got to home base, you would expect her to be trimmed for next time. At least that would be how I would think about it.

[chasedude]

I'm reminded of an Andrew Dice Clay Nursery Rhyme

Mary, Mary quite contrary... Trim that bush it's too damn hairy! OOOoooooh!!

[Silock]

Post something on her Facebook wall about it. She'll be too embarrassed not to do anything.

[Slayer Diablo]

I don't think twat sounds like foreplay...more like no play...good idea..just use a different term..like kootchie junction, etc..

Oh yeah, I guess the kids are done using tw**...it's what now...I think vag (vaj). Could make "shave your vag" sound like an "exotic" activity... But ok, maybe it would be best to write out a list of all the different names that could be used, and go with the process of elimination.

[booger]

nothing a roll of duct tape won't fix

[Phobia]

Dude - the next time you tie her up, just trim it how you want it. Good grief, why is this so difficult for young people?

[Slayer Diablo]

If/When you talk her into it, make sure she knows to piss after sex...UTI's are more common after shaving, and you don't want her getting one right after her first time trying it.

[booger]

Dude - the next time you tie her up, just trim it how you want it. Good grief, why is this so difficult for young people?

you can cut it and make cool shapes and stuff. or write built ford tough and silly things of that nature. Just like carving a pumpkin.

[HoneyBadger]

You want to get serious with this girl, and you can't get up the nerve to talk to her about sexual preferences?

She's an adult. It's not like you're having "the talk" with your 10 year old daughter. Just be honest and tactful. If she does get offended, then is that really someone you want to get serious with?

Finally, some actual words of wisdom.

[chasedude]

http://threadforthought.net/oldimages/2009/07/johnny-depp-as-edward-scissorhands-1990.jpeg?w=241

Give Edward a Call?

[HoneyBadger]

If/When you talk her into it, make sure she knows to piss after sex...UTI's are more common after shaving, and you don't want her getting one right after her first time trying it.

Really?? That would explain a lot about my ex. :rolleyes:

[HoneyBadger]

you should be glad it wasn't kept up. If you weren't intimate, then there should have been no reason for her to trim or shave it. BUT, now that you finally got to home base, you would expect her to be trimmed for next time. At least that would be how I would think about it.

She better be, or I'll be very pissed off.

[Phobia]

I've always felt strongly about mentoring young people out here on the Planet. I'll take one for the team here, bud. Get me her phone number and she'll be cleaned up by Friday night. Make plans with the boys tomorrow, dude. She's gonna be busy for 3 or 4 minutes.

[Pushead2]

"Shave that shit girl"

[booger]

your getting too old to be eating furburgers. just buy her a box of triscuits and tell her to shave her biscuit.

[Slayer Diablo]

Really?? That would explain a lot about my ex. :rolleyes:

Hell, you're bringing a question like this--something you should be able to answer on your own--to an internet forum...and about a 19-y/o girlfriend. Of course, if you need help, we're all here to give it to you along with about 5 or 6 pages of chiding; but not everyone's going to assume you know everything except this one little nugget of information.

[-King-]

One day when you go down on here....just move your head down there...not licking at all.

When she asks "What are you doing?" , just say that you're practicing walking in the woods.

[booger]

wear a hair net on your face and poke out holes for you nose and mouth. bring a comb too and come back and tell us if she gets the hint.

[booger]

i bet it was like eating out the end of the vacuum hose attachment

[LaChapelle]

Stop being a metrosexual pussy
and learn to like it
like a real man

[booger]

did you say she was mexican? probably catholic. just tell her your scared of spiders but braved it out the first time.

[Al Bundy]

Maybe you should just stop going down on her until the relationship becomes a little more comfortable.

Better yet, the next time she's blowing you, grab her by the back of her head and start ramrodding her throat. When she asks you what the ****, tell her if she thinks she can do whatever she wants down there, you can too.

You are full of win throughout this thread.

[LaChapelle]

Seriously it's no big deal
Billay has to stick his tongue up their butt

[Al Bundy]

i bet it was like eating out the end of the vacuum hose attachment

Pos rep.

[Rain Man]

Find another woman who would be willing to talk to her about this sensitive issue, and then arrange a threesome with the two of them.

[Demonpenz]

edd

[Demonpenz]

dd

[Shogun]

edd

dd

+1 Million reps.

[Kyle DeLexus]

One day when you go down on here....just move your head down there...not licking at all.

When she asks "What are you doing?" , just say that you're practicing walking in the woods.

Better yet get a golf club and golf ball and tell her you want to practice hitting out of the rough.

[Demonpenz]

dfddd

[Bugeater]

LMAO

[Demonpenz]

on dvd

[Archie F. Swin]

Is it like being blown by Zach Galifanakis?

[Kyle DeLexus]

dfddd


ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

[Slayer Diablo]

Stop being a metrosexual pussy
and learn to like it
like a real man

Nothing wrong with the entirety of the carpet...it's the inevitability of choking on a single fiber. Being taken down so easily...it's downright pussifying. No pun intended.

[Demonpenz]

ddd

[BigMeatballDave]

Holy crap! This thread is full of WIN! LMAO

[LaChapelle]

You're like the Stephen King of MS Paint

[Demonpenz]

store

[Mr. Flopnuts]

You are full of win throughout this thread.

Heh, believe it or not, I'm just trying to help. :D

[Demonpenz]

ttt

[stevieray]

You're like the Stephen King of MS Paint
hawkings

[Demonpenz]

dddd

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

I am just pissing myself laughing at these! SO AWESOME.

[Demonpenz]

dsd

[SPchief]

Talk about some old school demon

[SPchief]

LMAO

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

dsd

ROFL

[Demonpenz]

xxx

[WV]

15 pages.....LOL!!

[Demonpenz]

dd

[Phobia]

If she's a charitable girl, which we know she is since you, well - uh anyway. I would simply educate her on the great things Locks of Love does in the community.

[Demonpenz]

g

[Slayer Diablo]

If she's a charitable girl, which we know she is since you, well - uh anyway. I would simply educate her on the great things Locks of Love does in the community.

Pubes longer than 11 inches...oh geez...I'm going blind just thinking about it. :eek: :Lin:

[booger]

how else ya figure they make fishin line?

[Phobia]

Pubes longer than 11 inches...oh geez...I'm going blind just thinking about it. :eek: :Lin:

You know how I know mine are ready to donate?

[threebag]

If she shaves that thang you might find she has a bigger dagger than you.

[booger]

i string macaroni on mine and put it on teh tree for christmas

[threebag]

Macaroni and Fumunda Cheese?

[booger]

no just panty cheese

[Phobia]

Apparently Google Ad Words recommends Curel to solve your problem.

[booger]

looks like a birds nest

[Thig Lyfe]

So I started seeing this girl a few months ago, and wanted it to be more of a serious relationship so I held off on too much physical stuff. Then the other night the holding out built up and things went crazy. This was fine, however there was one problem, when I ventured down to the southern regions, there was a lack of personal care. We're talking no grooming by her. I personally perfer a clean workspace, so this really turned me off.

Now how can I bring up this subject and tell her she needs to groom if she wants anything to happen again? I don't wanna sound like a selfish jerk, but I just can't deal with the unkept situation down there.

You're dating Christine O'Donnell?

[threebag]

Buy safari clothes and a machette and wear it to bed. When she asks what is this all about tell he your just getting ready in case she wants you to go down on her again.

[threebag]

If she hasn't shaved and you go down on her again on your way back up start choking like a cat heaving up a hairball maybe she will get the hint

[RippedmyFlesh]

Buy her a small bikini and ask her to try it on. Then tell her how sexy she looks and stare a bit at the hair sticking out and offer to trim it for her.

[JoeyChuckles]

ATM, then when she gets pissed tell her "oh, you don't like shit in your mouth either."

For the win.

[Gravedigger]

Buy her a spa day with Brazilian wax included.

[CrazyPhuD]

Meh just ask her if she likes to floss during oral sex? When she says no, you say you don't like to either.

[HoneyBadger]

I beginning to understand why she has never got much action before. Poor her.

[BIG_DADDY]

15 pages.....LOL!!

You knew it was going there the moment it was posted.

[BIG_DADDY]

Get her one of these. Funny video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Qoh4rT5Fg

[HoneyBadger]

Good God man.....you need to come to a football forum to ask that? SOB...

Just tell mom your sister isn`t keeping clean.....

(huck yuck, knee slap)

A football forum seems perfect. Guys come here, and have dealt with girls. Win.

[CrazyPhuD]

Get her one of these. Funny video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Qoh4rT5Fg

ROFL

I was just going to make the suggestion that if she likes cats you should buy her a kitten and shave it before you give it too her. When she asks why you just tell her you like your kitties shaved.

[Phobia]

A football forum seems perfect. Guys come here, and have dealt with girls. Win.

Some of them have. I'm still waiting for Gochiefs to respond to this thread, what with his first granny pump 3 months ago, he's the new macker of the site.

[Phobia]

You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

[HoneyBadger]

You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

Your very welcome

[CrazyPhuD]

Of course the next time you have sex you could also just PIIHB. If she complains you just say you're sorry you were aiming for her pussy but must have missed it under all the hair. Now if she likes it.....:evil:

[ExtremeChief]

Discreetly rub some nair on her. Tell her that burning sensation is just the chlamydia you gave her.

Holy shit...awesome!

[BryanBusby]

Honestly, just be a fuckin man and just tell her straight up. A lot of problems with relationships pop up because people don't say anything or are passive aggressive about stuff.

If she cares at all, she'll at least trim the rain forest down to a secluded wooded area for you. If she does, at least repay her by lickin that shit like your life depends on it. If she don't, goodbye fuck her one last time and move on to her sister or cousin or mom w/e

[ExtremeChief]

You should just tell her how much more pleasure you could give her if you weren't bouncing off a case of brillo pads

[booger]

You know, the wife had been getting a little jungle lately. I just sent her a link to this thread and now she's in the shower with a sickle.

ROFL

beard season is getting close now though. getting colder outside.

[Red Dawg]

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLTell her your landlord would kick you out if you went that long without cutting the grass.

AWSOME! TOTALLY FUGGING AWSOME! Lack of care? HAHA!

[RockChalk]

I read through the entire first 80 posts and skipped 81 through 240. I'm still in shock that nobody suggested PIIHB on the first page. I'm actually saddened by this.

[tooge]

this is easy. just ask her if she ever thought of trimming things up down there. Tell her it makes it alot easier and more pleasant for you to pleasure her.

[kepp]

Been cruising the high school parking lot in your Camaro with a six pack of Noffs, huh brah?

Nice.

"You know what I like about high school girls? I keep getting older, but they stay the same age."

[Delano]

What the fuck are you doing fucking a Mexican? You're on the clock!

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NF9sqqt1mDw/0.jpg