Rain Man
11-24-2010, 03:51 PM
As the new health care bill unfolds in 2011, the nation gets a surprise.
Tucked away on page 594 of the law, which was never read by any Senator or Congressman, is a special clause inserted by 19 year-old Minnesota congressional intern Toby Saarsgard. Toby got his internship because his dad was roommates with the junior congressman from Minnesota back when they both attended St. Olaf, and he never really wanted to be in D.C., wishing instead that he could be working the salmon boats up in Alaska with his friends Jason and Rich, who e-mail him every day about their exploits with hot Aleut girls. So in a fit of pique one day about his humid summer and ill-fitting tasseled dress shoes, Toby added the following clause to the health care legislation as a joke, and since no one ever read it, it was enacted into law.
Section 104, Paragraph 32, Clause 4a: Whereas the initiation of the new health care system will place significant stress on American taxpayers, and whereas sexual activity is a known stress reliever, then therefore every American age 18 or older will be required to participate in four (4) sexual threesomes in the Year 2012, or one per calendar quarter. Each threesome will be with two women in the upper 10 percent of American women in terms of attractiveness, and may not be the spouse or girlfriend of the American receiving the services. Women shall be randomly assigned from pools based on race and, if applicable, hair color, but to promote diversity the subject will not select from the same race/hair color combination more than once.
Note: Toby required the threesomes to be with women, and that all Americans comply, regardless of gender. Toby's got a little bit of the pervert streak in him.
Having no choice but to comply, you report to the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas to conduct your first required threesome, and you must admit that it does seem like something that will ease your stress. The lady at the desk hands you U.S. Threesome Form 918002 to fill out. You're supposed to pick the combination of women you want in each of your four threesomes over the coming year. The fine print at the bottom of the form confirms that the women will be attractive to you or else you’ll be assigned new ones. Failure to participate in your required threesomes will result in no more than 90 months of incarceration and/or fines up to $25,000
You must pick four combinations of women at this time, based on race and/or hair color. And as we all know, chemistry and complementary styles are very important in a threesome. From the poll above, which is designed to emulate U.S. Threesome Form 918002, which four pairs do you pick?
Tucked away on page 594 of the law, which was never read by any Senator or Congressman, is a special clause inserted by 19 year-old Minnesota congressional intern Toby Saarsgard. Toby got his internship because his dad was roommates with the junior congressman from Minnesota back when they both attended St. Olaf, and he never really wanted to be in D.C., wishing instead that he could be working the salmon boats up in Alaska with his friends Jason and Rich, who e-mail him every day about their exploits with hot Aleut girls. So in a fit of pique one day about his humid summer and ill-fitting tasseled dress shoes, Toby added the following clause to the health care legislation as a joke, and since no one ever read it, it was enacted into law.
Section 104, Paragraph 32, Clause 4a: Whereas the initiation of the new health care system will place significant stress on American taxpayers, and whereas sexual activity is a known stress reliever, then therefore every American age 18 or older will be required to participate in four (4) sexual threesomes in the Year 2012, or one per calendar quarter. Each threesome will be with two women in the upper 10 percent of American women in terms of attractiveness, and may not be the spouse or girlfriend of the American receiving the services. Women shall be randomly assigned from pools based on race and, if applicable, hair color, but to promote diversity the subject will not select from the same race/hair color combination more than once.
Note: Toby required the threesomes to be with women, and that all Americans comply, regardless of gender. Toby's got a little bit of the pervert streak in him.
Having no choice but to comply, you report to the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas to conduct your first required threesome, and you must admit that it does seem like something that will ease your stress. The lady at the desk hands you U.S. Threesome Form 918002 to fill out. You're supposed to pick the combination of women you want in each of your four threesomes over the coming year. The fine print at the bottom of the form confirms that the women will be attractive to you or else you’ll be assigned new ones. Failure to participate in your required threesomes will result in no more than 90 months of incarceration and/or fines up to $25,000
You must pick four combinations of women at this time, based on race and/or hair color. And as we all know, chemistry and complementary styles are very important in a threesome. From the poll above, which is designed to emulate U.S. Threesome Form 918002, which four pairs do you pick?