Question about Military Tours and Domestic Deaths

[Jenson71]

I could not find this on a quick search, so I'm hoping someone here has an answer.

What happens if you are on your tour in Iraq/Afghanistan, and a relative dies? Do you get to come back home for a week or so? And what kind of considerations does the military make depending on if it's your wife, child, parent, brother, grandparent, uncle, etc?

[Jenson71]

I will give you rep for answers. I know there are military vets here. Holla at cho boi

[milkman]

It's been some time, so I may be mis-remembering, but I believe that's what emegency leaves are for, among other things.

[BigRedChief]

Mother, Father, Son, Daughter and same inlaws Why do you ask?

[cavtrp1]

They will let you go on emergency leave for immediate family members once they receive a Red Cross message, the amount of time is up to the chain of command.

[Jenson71]

Thanks guys. "Emergency leave" is the key phrase I needed. I was googling variations of "Tour of Duty FAQS" and mostly getting game guides to Call of Duty.

[trndobrd]

I could not find this on a quick search, so I'm hoping someone here has an answer.

What happens if you are on your tour in Iraq/Afghanistan, and a relative dies? Do you get to come back home for a week or so? And what kind of considerations does the military make depending on if it's your wife, child, parent, brother, grandparent, uncle, etc?


The Solider's Commander has a lot of discretion based on the location and mission, but spouse, child, parent (MIL or Father-in-Law) or sibling would result in emergency leave. (Usually two weeks) and the death of a spouse or minor custodial child would likely result in the end of the Soldier's tour and permanent return to the US.

The death of grandparent, aunt, uncle would not automatically qualify a Soldier for emergency leave in most instances unless the deceased played the role of parent while the Soldier was growing up.

Soldier is usually on the airplane with 24 hours of receiving and Red Cross message and gets pushed through the system pretty quick. I took emergency leave on my last deployment and was back less than three days after receiving the Red Cross message (and I wasn't in any particular hurry).

Soldiers are authorized 14 days R&R leave during the tour, usually Commanders will adjust the leave schedule to accomodate Soldiers with family emergencies that do not qualify for Emergency leave (i.e. death of Uncle Bob) or life events such as graduations and such.

[joesomebody]

I could not find this on a quick search, so I'm hoping someone here has an answer.

What happens if you are on your tour in Iraq/Afghanistan, and a relative dies? Do you get to come back home for a week or so? And what kind of considerations does the military make depending on if it's your wife, child, parent, brother, grandparent, uncle, etc?
Usually the Red Cross will contact you in this case. You do typically get leave, and in most cases you would get to/be required to meet with a therapist and get approved to go back to combat if it was a very traumatic loss, like that of a wife/child/immediate relative.

Even if you don't have any leave saved up, they will give you an advance with regards to time off, and even a loan if you need money for tickets to get home, etc.

[trndobrd]

and even a loan if you need money for tickets to get home, etc.

The military pays for transportation to the Soldier's home of record, no loans, it's covered.

[joesomebody]

The military pays for transportation to the Soldier's home of record, no loans, it's covered.In the Air Force while I was in, it was loans if stationed domestically.

I can see the military footing the bill if you are in a war zone, but it was loans if you weren't deployed and in combat.

I realize Jenson was specifically asking about deployments, so I'm sure you are correct.

[Abba-Dabba]

Went home on a Red Cross message from a sandbox far away. While mission does come first. Every commander will try their hardest to get the soldier out of there. I recieved notification I may have a RC message was coming one morning(don't know how that works but they knew it was coming), the message arrived later that afternoon, packed my gear and shipped out the next day. Was driven to a UN base and was processed through by both G2 and G4 for a civilian flight later that night. About 36hrs later after my flight left I was sleeping on something soft back home. Took about 3-4 days total to get the message and get back home. And yes, since I was deployed at the time I didn't have any out of pocket expenses.

[SCTrojan]

Went home on a Red Cross message from a sandbox far away. While mission does come first. Every commander will try their hardest to get the soldier out of there. I recieved notification I may have a RC message was coming one morning(don't know how that works but they knew it was coming), the message arrived later that afternoon, packed my gear and shipped out the next day. Was driven to a UN base and was processed through by both G2 and G4 for a civilian flight later that night. About 36hrs later after my flight left I was sleeping on something soft back home. Took about 3-4 days total to get the message and get back home. And yes, since I was deployed at the time I didn't have any out of pocket expenses.


This pretty much summarizes it for deployments. If it's a close relative - parent (even in-laws), spouse or children - there's not a question that the troop will get sent home. They normally get priority at the transportation terminals as well. Although it's still a matter of lift availability.

I sent one of my guys back home from Iraq after his grandmother died. You don't want that weighing on someone under that sort of pressure.

My father-in-law died while I was stationed in Germany, and I got sent back no charge.

[Simply Red]

This pretty much summarizes it for deployments. If it's a close relative - parent (even in-laws), spouse or children - there's not a question that the troop will get sent home. They normally get priority at the transportation terminals as well. Although it's still a matter of lift availability.

I sent one of my guys back home from Iraq after his grandmother died. You don't want that weighing on someone under that sort of pressure.

My father-in-law died while I was stationed in Germany, and I got sent back no charge.

ORLY? Now, How come you never post?

[Jenson71]

I sent one of my guys back home from Iraq after his grandmother died. You don't want that weighing on someone under that sort of pressure.

That's interesting to me. So did he ask for that, or did you volunteer that opportunity after the Red Cross message was received?

[SCTrojan]

That's interesting to me. So did he ask for that, or did you volunteer that opportunity after the Red Cross message was received?

He wanted to go and asked. But there wasn't a question in my mind that he should go back home, and there really wasn't much of a discussion as to whether we would let him. It was more a matter of getting it right administratively with the personnel folks.

[Jenson71]

He wanted to go and asked. But there wasn't a question in my mind that he should go back home, and there really wasn't much of a discussion as to whether we would let him. It was more a matter of getting it right administratively with the personnel folks.

How long into the tour was this, if you remember?

[SCTrojan]

How long into the tour was this, if you remember?

More than half - he had already taken his mid-tour leave. That was part of the administrative issue.

[RNR]

This pretty much summarizes it for deployments. If it's a close relative - parent (even in-laws), spouse or children - there's not a question that the troop will get sent home. They normally get priority at the transportation terminals as well. Although it's still a matter of lift availability.

I sent one of my guys back home from Iraq after his grandmother died. You don't want that weighing on someone under that sort of pressure.

My father-in-law died while I was stationed in Germany, and I got sent back no charge.

My son was not allowed to return from his tour to attend his grandmothers funeral~

[SCTrojan]

My son was not allowed to return from his tour to attend his grandmothers funeral~

Ultimately, it does come down to a decision by the leadership. Some don't see it the way we did.

[Phobia]

Essential personnel makes a difference as well. If you're the only guy who can do your job in theater, it had better be immediate family. If you're a low-ranking non-essential then you'll almost always get your leave approved. Mission comes first and everything else second.

[JohninGpt]

My son was not allowed to return from his tour to attend his grandmothers funeral~

They call it Local Parentus. If a member of your immediate family dies you are allowed emergency leave. Immediate family includes mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, and children. If a grandparent, aunt, or uncle dies it is only considered local parentus if you were raised by, or lived with that person for a specified length of time during childhood.

And if I weren't so damn lazy I would have read trndobrd's post saying pretty much the same damn thing before I typed this.

[SCTrojan]

They call it Local Parentus. If a member of your immediate family dies you are allowed emergency leave. Immediate family includes mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, and children. If a grandparent, aunt, or uncle dies it is only considered local parentus if you were raised by, or lived with that person for a specified length of time during childhood.

And if I weren't so damn lazy I would have read trndobrd's post saying pretty much the same damn thing before I typed this.

Our guy's grandmother didn't fall into that category, but we were able to get him out anyway. As Phobia pointed out, sometimes the situation doesn't allow commands to be that flexible.

[RNR]

They call it Local Parentus. If a member of your immediate family dies you are allowed emergency leave. Immediate family includes mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, and children. If a grandparent, aunt, or uncle dies it is only considered local parentus if you were raised by, or lived with that person for a specified length of time during childhood.

And if I weren't so damn lazy I would have read trndobrd's post saying pretty much the same damn thing before I typed this.

They were very close and he was pretty broke about it. When he was a child we lived at my parents house for awhile. He was less than half way through a 15 month stint on his first tour. I know nothing of the details other than his disappointment of not being able to attend~

[Iowanian]

It depends the relationship and circumstances I think.


My brother got 3-4 days leave from his first tour in Iraq when our aunt died.
He came back the 2nd tour when our grandpa died, but got a few more days...like 5-6 I think.


Where there is a will, there is often a way. I'm thinking we made our notification through Red Cross.