Could you go 2 years without masturbating?

[Hammock Parties]

Just found out today, from a Mormon, that they are required not to jerk off for two years as part of their LDS mission.

Didn't even know what to say. But if you ever run into a Mormon kid and he's really angry, now you know why.

[kstater]

I don't think I could go 2 hours.

[Buck]

This sounds familiar.

F***** K***: Why just two years?

Matthew D***: what do you mean JUST 2 years?

[Predarat]

So if they knock on the door playing pron on the TV or computer is a bad idea? Slip a nekked pic into one of their Bibles. Powdered caffine in thier water.

[Rain Man]

this is why they get multiple wives afterward. they have to.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Buck]

Change poll to 2 days, you might get some yeses.

[Predarat]

Change poll to 2 days, you might get some yeses.

2 days I could probably do, 2 weeks, I highly doubt it.

[Archie Bunker]

And on the 731st day.....

http://xml.truveo.com/th/h/4d7b99c543c71f8:5997345870ba7013b0eaadd518a6c629/p/0022/34/E8/34E81A65A632A1188A84F2_Large.jpg

[notorious]

When I was single, I might stretch it to 2 weeks.


If I waited two weeks as a married man my balls would explode. Having her theramones and other factors doing their thing changes the game.

[WV]

http://home4.swipnet.se/~w-44777/kramer2.jpg
I'm out!

[CoMoChief]

dum dum dum dum dum

[Bwana]

Damn, mormon kids sack after 2 years......


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sW65ilskOC8/Sc1E0709kaI/AAAAAAAAWXM/BHkNh7sQ_iM/s400/BlueBallsNutsforTrucks.jpg

[RedNFeisty]

No, not possible.

[Hammock Parties]

So if they knock on the door playing pron on the TV or computer is a bad idea? Slip a nekked pic into one of their Bibles. Powdered caffine in thier water.

Maybe it's not that hard. They're also supposed to avoid books, magazines and television. So about the sexiest thing they see all day is a woman walking down the street.

[Phobia]

That's why they travel in pairs. There is no handy rule.

[notorious]

So about the sexiest thing they see all day is a woman walking down the street.

That would be enough.

[Bugeater]

Yeah, like any of them actually follow through with that.

[Chief Chief]

Maybe it's not that hard.

That's what he said...

PBJ::whackit:

[Jaric]

Not unless I'm having a steady stream of sex. (which those fellas probably aren't)

I bet there are stains all over those sheets during that two years.

[DaFace]

I'd bet that 95% of them fail.

[Buck]

I think the longest I've gone is maybe 2 weeks. Maybe. This was back when I was 18 and had a girlfriend who wanted to have sex every single night.

[acesn8s]

Hell no. You should be shot for asking.

[KCUnited]

That'd be a tsunami of a load if possible.

[seclark]

socks would last longer.
sec

['Hamas' Jenkins]

I think the longest I've gone is maybe 2 weeks. Maybe. This was back when I was 18 and had a girlfriend who wanted to have sex every single night.

I tried to quit once when I was like 14, thinking it was immoral. I went for over three weeks. There were times in the past when I'd have to go over a week because of circumstance, and that first load is the consistency and color of broccoli and cheese soup.

[Buck]

http://i.imgur.com/ySLKu.jpg

[seclark]

I tried to quit once when I was like 14, thinking it was immoral. I went for over three weeks. There were times in the past when I'd have to go over a week because of circumstance, and that first load is the consistency and color of broccoli and cheese soup.

jeeze...
sec

[KcMizzou]

I tried to quit once when I was like 14, thinking it was immoral. I went for over three weeks. There were times in the past when I'd have to go over a week because of circumstance, and that first load is the consistency and color of broccoli and cheese soup.

:eek: wtf? I'd get that checked out.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

After two years, I'd hope that you'd have an exquisite porn to jerk off to. It would have to be the Citizen Kane of skin flicks.

[Buck]

I tried to quit once when I was like 14, thinking it was immoral. I went for over three weeks. There were times in the past when I'd have to go over a week because of circumstance, and that first load is the consistency and color of broccoli and cheese soup.

Does it taste like it looks?

['Hamas' Jenkins]

:eek: wtf? I'd get that checked out.

Well, most broccoli and cheese soup is really just cheese soup. Thick, yellow, almost gelatinous.

[notorious]

Does it taste like it looks?

And there it is.

[acesn8s]

Maybe it's not that hard. They're also supposed to avoid books, magazines and television. So about the sexiest thing they see all day is a woman walking down the street.Is that why they wear white shirts?

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Does it taste like it looks?

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1coO1A2HCek" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[KCUnited]

I'm pretty sure that after 3 weeks I could hump the shower stream and blow a load.

[Bwana]

Does it taste like it looks?

What the ....

[acesn8s]

That's why they travel in pairs. There is no handy rule.Is their temple on Brokeback Mountain?

[seclark]

After two years, I'd hope that you'd have an exquisite porn to jerk off to. It would have to be the Citizen Kane of skin flicks.

after two years, i'd blow a load surfing pics on a rosie o'donnell web site.
sec

[Gonzo]

I could do it, (for the right price).
Posted via Mobile Device

[notorious]

after two years, i'd blow a load surfing pics on a rosie o'donnell web site.
sec


"My dick gets hard when the wind blows."

Eddie Murphy

[seclark]

"My dick gets hard when the wind blows."

Eddie Murphy

wouldn't be a safe cat in the neighborhood.
sec

[rockymtnchief]

socks would last longer.
sec

ROFL

Use your buddies instead. (NSFW)
http://www.bollywoodsargam.com/iplayvideo.php?blockbustermovieclip=QbRGqIWIWGw&type=2

[Predarat]

Maybe it's not that hard. They're also supposed to avoid books, magazines and television. So about the sexiest thing they see all day is a woman walking down the street.

That even does it for me, boobs, asses, legs in tight clothing, dayuummmm. Esepcially if they are walking or biking close to them. Find an area behind a tree or something and there ya go!

[Mr. Laz]

i did without "it" for most my life ... didn't start when i was young and then had steady sex when i was out being a player.

right now ....... no

[Rain Man]

Maybe it's not that hard. They're also supposed to avoid books, magazines and television. So about the sexiest thing they see all day is a woman walking down the street.

I'm sitting in the mall right now. There's an attractive young women crocheting about thirty feet away, and it's about to drive me crazy. She wearing a tank top and she has that tucked-back-over-the-ear hair style that I like, and her fingers are moving moving moving with dexterity and she has a little frown between her eyebrows, and I couldn't stand that for two solid hours, much less two years.

And yeah, worthless without pictures, so here. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go home and see what my wife's up to.

[Buck]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1coO1A2HCek" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Can't stop laughing

[pr_capone]

I'm sitting in the mall right now. There's an attractive young women crocheting about thirty feet away, and it's about to drive me crazy. She wearing a tank top and she has that tucked-back-over-the-ear hair style that I like, and her fingers are moving moving moving with dexterity and she has a little frown between her eyebrows, and I couldn't stand that for two solid hours, much less two years.

And yeah, worthless without pictures, so here. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go home and see what my wife's up to.

I know what you mean. Crocheting does it for me too.

[KcMizzou]

I'm sitting in the mall right now. There's an attractive young women crocheting about thirty feet away, and it's about to drive me crazy. She wearing a tank top and she has that tucked-back-over-the-ear hair style that I like, and her fingers are moving moving moving with dexterity and she has a little frown between her eyebrows, and I couldn't stand that for two solid hours, much less two years.

And yeah, worthless without pictures, so here. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go home and see what my wife's up to.I was right with you until the pic.

[pr_capone]

Can't stop laughing

Can't stop watching fast enough

[Dunit35]

Who uses lube?

[rockymtnchief]

I'm sitting in the mall right now. There's an attractive young women crocheting about thirty feet away, and it's about to drive me crazy. She wearing a tank top and she has that tucked-back-over-the-ear hair style that I like, and her fingers are moving moving moving with dexterity and she has a little frown between her eyebrows, and I couldn't stand that for two solid hours, much less two years.


Yeah...your description just ruined the challenge for most posters on here.

[Hammock Parties]

I like field reports from Rain Man.

He should start a thread just for sneaky peoplewatching pics.

[Priest31kc]

I can barely go one day.

[Buck]

Gonzo and KCFalcon are fucking liars.

Gonzo just doesn't want Lumpy to see and I don't know what Falcon's excuse is.

[acesn8s]

I'm sitting in the mall right now. There's an attractive young women crocheting about thirty feet away, and it's about to drive me crazy. She wearing a tank top and she has that tucked-back-over-the-ear hair style that I like, and her fingers are moving moving moving with dexterity and she has a little frown between her eyebrows, and I couldn't stand that for two solid hours, much less two years.

And yeah, worthless without pictures, so here. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go home and see what my wife's up to.Can I get a closer shot of the woman?

[Rain Man]

Some woman in a burqa just showed up, and the crocheting woman just stuck her ipod earphones down into her cleavage. This is getting unbearable. I have to go. I'll post the picture later.

[Rain Man]

Can I get a closer shot of the woman?

She just left. I think she was intimidated by the woman in the burqa.

[LiveSteam]

Guess what im doing right now

[KcMizzou]

Guess what im doing right nowTMI, TMI!!!

[Buck]

Shogun = Liar

[Bugeater]

Guess what im doing right now
JFC. Make sure you run a virus scan when you're done.

[Shogun]

Shogun = Liar

As long as sports are consistently on I could probably go longer

[KcMizzou]

JFC. Make sure you run a virus scan.LMAO

[Buck]

As long as sports are consistently on I could probably go longer

Day before and after the MLB All Star Game. No Sports.

Also you are on the WebGem path with an attitude like that.

[LiveSteam]

AH AH AH
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa.
Was that as good for you all ? as it was for me?

[Shogun]

Day before and after the MLB All Star Game. No Sports.

Also you are on the WebGem path with an attitude like that.

ESPN season recap

[Dunit35]

AH AH AH
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaa.
Was that as good for you all ? as it was for me?

Don't forget to wash your hands.

[Okie_Apparition]

Tried to give it up for Lent. HA. Didn't make it to the 4th week. I swear I heard the devil laughing as I grabbed it after a vivid dream. ANd it hurt. I think I have an idea what passing a kidney stone is like.

[CanadaKC]

Only religious people would do something so stupid...and it just validates their stupidity because they believe there's a God in the first place.

[el borracho]

My all-time record is fourteen years.

[LiveSteam]

My all-time record is fourteen years.

did you belong to a convent ?

[Bugeater]

did you belong to a convent ?
I'm guessing the first time he twisted one off was when he was 14 yrs old.

[LiveSteam]

I'm guessing the first time he twisted one off was when he was 14 yrs old.

Opps never mind. Thought he was a she? we all make mistakes

[el borracho]

did you belong to a convent ?

You know what they say, "You can kiss a nun once, but try not to get in the habit."

[Otter]

Anyone who wants to go 2 years without busting a nut is crazy. Orgasms are God's built in crack.

[Pitt Gorilla]

If you were getting sex every day (sometimes 2x per day), you might be able to do this. Otherwise, not a chance in hell.

[Rams Fan]

A month maybe, but not two years.

[Dunit35]

A month maybe, but not two years.

A month...you lie bra

[Rams Fan]

A month...you lie bra

Nah, bro.

[LiveSteam]

A month...you lie bra

NO.No
If anyone can go a month without bop-pen it.
Rams fan can

[Dunit35]

I touched a guys balls at Hebrew school once.

[LiveSteam]

I touched a guys balls at Hebrew school once.

ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

I touched a guys balls at Hebrew school once.

Why is that relevant? I'm pretty sure the Jews are pretty lax in sexual matters. In fact I don't think the Torah even outlaws sex before marriage.

[BryanBusby]

I tried to do a no masturbation for 30 days challenge once. I made it 30 minutes.

So, definitely no.

[KcMizzou]

There was a Seinfeld episode about this once. One of the few I ever liked.

[Dunit35]

Why is that relevant? I'm pretty sure the Jews are pretty lax in sexual matters. In fact I don't think the Torah even outlaws sex before marriage.

1:43 mark.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5cK1glEmxbo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Shogun]

I've done it 14 times in a day.

In middle school

[Dunit35]

I've done it 14 times in a day.

In middle school

My record is probably three times........in 30 minutes.

[Rams Fan]

So, who here is a switch hitter?

[Shogun]

My record is probably three times........in 30 minutes.

That is impressive.

See I had just gotten a new video game so I played sick to stay home from school. Little did I know I would get constant boners. I would play a few rounds, then jerk off again, and again, rinse and repeat. Literally. I didn't take a shower that night. My room the next morning smelled like Ham and Lotion, my hair was blown up like a white afro, and I couldn't take a piss without being right next to the toilet because it was flying everywhere. I miss the freedom of being able to do that.

[Shogun]

I have since gained self control.

[Dunit35]

So, who here is a switch hitter?

One three month period.

Broke my jerk off shoulder playing football. That took practice and full concentration.

[KCFalcon59]

Gonzo and KCFalcon are fucking liars.

Gonzo just doesn't want Lumpy to see and I don't know what Falcon's excuse is.

Nope not at all. No excuse. I probably have gone 2 years twice in the last 6 years. Just not that important to me. Plus I spend too much time on the internet. lol

[Dunit35]

Nope not at all. No excuse. I probably have gone 2 years twice in the last 6 years. Just not that important to me. Plus I spend too much time on the internet. lol

Me spending too much time on the net means I'm jerkin my gerkin.

[luv]

Gonzo and KCFalcon are fucking liars.

Gonzo just doesn't want Lumpy to see and I don't know what Falcon's excuse is.

Hello? Gonzo has Lumpy, so he has no need to masturbate.

[KCFalcon59]

Me spending too much time on the net means I'm jerkin my gerkin.

I don't surf the pr0n. That helps a lot..lol

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Masturbating what ?

[JD10367]

One three month period.

Broke my jerk off shoulder playing football. That took practice and full concentration.

Ah, "The Stranger".

[Graystoke]

Whaaa?? God gave me this hard-on to do som spacklin..
What would Jesus do?

[Sofa King]

No, not possible.

.... Go on.............

[Sofa King]

It's funny how something as simple as a masturbation thread can bring us all together.




EDIT: wait a minute, did anyone else notice pornchief voted yes?? LMAO

[Dartgod]

She just left. I think she was intimidated by the woman in the burqa.

How about a picture of the woman in the burqa?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Iowanian]

That's it.

I'm switching to fist bumps for a greeting. no more shaking hands.

[SuperChief]

Given certain circumstances, I can last about a week before punishing The Octagon. But more often than not, it's about 2-3 days. What can I say? A dude's gotta treat himself every 2-3 days, sometimes multiple times in said time period.

...if that isn't #winning, I don't know what is.

[Sofa King]

That's it.

I'm switching to fist bumps for a greeting. no more shaking hands.

ROFL


that's an interesting thought. how many times has iowanian shook hands with a creeper who just rubbed one out.

[teedubya]

That's why they travel in pairs. There is no handy rule.

This may be the biggest laugh I've had this week.

[gblowfish]

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mIoUFrEaR-U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[lcarus]

I had to log in to say this thread made me spray soda out of my nose all over my keyboard. Thanks.

[Iowanian]

"Yeah roomate..that is is...is...uh...SODA on the keyboard from this really really funny thread on Chiefsplanet."

"then why does the mouse smell like old spice and sour milk...like your sister's tummy"

[Sofa King]

Hello? Gonzo has Lumpy, so he has no need to masturbate.

when you read this post out of context, it's actually pretty funny.

[lcarus]

"Yeah roomate..that is is...is...uh...SODA on the keyboard from this really really funny thread on Chiefsplanet."

"then why does the mouse smell like old spice and sour milk...like your sister's tummy"

ROFL Stop

[Iowanian]

"Son, why does our computer smell like a hobo's dick"
"well mom, It's uh..I spilled some cereal in the chair on acci...wait...how do you know what a hobo's dick smells like?"

"Go to your room....leave the door open and stop doing that"[/noob family discussion]

[Ebolapox]

So, who here is a switch hitter?

:spock:

the bi-thread is elsewhere, homo.

[Phobia]

This may be the biggest laugh I've had this week.

You can have any of the jokes I post on here. I'm not going to use them again. Simply invoke my name every now and then in a spirit of reverence... as though I accurately predicted an earthquake.

[lcarus]

"Son, why does our computer smell like a hobo's dick"
"well mom, It's uh..I spilled some cereal in the chair on acci...wait...how do you know what a hobo's dick smells like?"

"Go to your room....leave the door open and stop doing that"[/noob family discussion]

I've always been pretty damn good at aiming away from my computer's electronic devices. The weird thing is...I get better aim with age, yet I also have a more unpredictable spray with age. It's the universes way of balancing out my splooge control I guess

[Ebolapox]

Hello? Gonzo has Lumpy, so he has no need to masturbate.

ROFL

says the woman who has never been married.

[Rams Fan]

:spock:

the bi-thread is elsewhere, homo.

I guess that sounded a bit homo, didn't it?

That was not my intention.

[Ebolapox]

I guess that sounded a bit homo, didn't it?

That was not my intention.

no homo? fo sho.

[Ebolapox]

and yes, pornchief saying 'yes, I could' is one of the best things EVER.

[Dante84]

:spock:

the bi-thread is elsewhere, homo.

methinks he was referring to the usage of the non-dominant hand.

[Ebolapox]

methinks he was referring to the usage of the non-dominant hand.

(I know, a bit of sarcasm. the :spock: smilie just happens to be my favorite smilie on here)

[Phobia]

Hello? Gonzo has Lumpy, so he has no need to masturbate.

My wife takes frequent care of me but I also flog the reverend.

[Dante84]

(I know, a bit of sarcasm. the :spock: smilie just happens to be my favorite smilie on here)

See, and i had figured, but ol' blue face mcgee had me thrown off.

Good on ya.

[Mr. Laz]

Hello? Gonzo has Lumpy, so he has no need to masturbate.:LOL:


you really think having a girlfriend or wife means a guy doesn't need to masturbate?

[CrazyPhuD]

Hell I had to stop writing this twice to rub one out.

[Phobia]

:LOL:


you really think having a girlfriend or wife means a guy doesn't need to masturbate?

She's not been married. How would she think otherwise. Women seem surprised at first and then they accept it.

[RedNFeisty]

I have since gained self control.

Why would you go and do such a thing. Hedonism, let it run rampant! :thumb:

[RedNFeisty]

.... Go on.............

I'm pretty sure I rub one out more often then most guys. :p

[gblowfish]

Gary's been tossing off!
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RFE0wW6DfNo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[RockChalk]

She's not been married. How would she think otherwise. Women seem surprised at first and then they accept it.

This. I think at first they take it as an insult in a way, but they understand after time.

[Easy 6]

Only if i've been dating a real tigress during that time.

[KCFalcon59]

:LOL:


you really think having a girlfriend or wife means a guy doesn't need to masturbate?

If it was this girl, yeah

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jkdOAtQMDDw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Buck]

I think the longest I've gone is 2 days since this thread was started.

[ModSocks]

I think the longest I've gone is 2 days since this thread was started.

Wow. Howdya do it? Not masturbate, I mean how'd you last 2 days?

[Buck]

Wow. Howdya do it? Not masturbate, I mean how'd you last 2 days?

I don't know, magic I guess.

Even if I get sex I still have to jerk off the next day.

[Buck]

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[Pants]

HEY! What happened to Shogun?

[Donger]

Could you go 2 years without masturbating?

Masturbating me or the cat?

[Buck]

Whoa, Pants, I was thinking the same exact thing reading the thread and I just made a thread about that.

[The Franchise]

2 days? That's it?

[ModSocks]

2 days? That's it?

Whoa. Sorry Mr. "I can go forever with out bustin' a nut".

[The Franchise]

Whoa. Sorry Mr. "I can go forever with out bustin' a nut".

I've got three kids. There is no privacy in my house.

[CoMoChief]

Count me out.

No fuckin way.

[Fishpicker]

yes I could and I have. if you can go past 2 weeks without bating, lucid dreaming takes over and you get nocturnal emissions. those are way more pleasurable than whacking it and the dreams can be so vivid that you can remember them. so... would you rather bate every day or have memories of having the most fantastic sexual experiences that you could dream up? I choose the latter.

there aren't many people that can claim that they remember having a 3-way with Oprah and Chaka Khan in their prime.

[BigMeatballDave]

If you dont do it, God will open the valve for you, eventually.

[BigMeatballDave]

I voted yes. If I'm in a relationship with sex on a regular basis, I have no need to rub it out myself.

[Buck]

yes I could and I have. if you can go past 2 weeks without bating, lucid dreaming takes over and you get nocturnal emissions. those are way more pleasurable than whacking it and the dreams can be so vivid that you can remember them. so... would you rather bate every day or have memories of having the most fantastic sexual experiences that you could dream up? I choose the latter.

there aren't many people that can claim that they remember having a 3-way with Oprah and Chaka Khan in their prime.

Or you could just have real sex.

[Dave Lane]

I see there are 12 liars so far.

[Dave Lane]

I voted yes. If I'm in a relationship with sex on a regular basis, I have no need to rub it out myself.

I thought this was no sex or masturbation at all, I stand corrected.

[RickObie]

I voted yes. If I'm in a relationship with sex on a regular basis, I have no need to rub it out myself.

You're not married are you?

[BWillie]

With ease...especially if there was a monetary incentive to do so. I guess im just not a crazy horny person

[Buck]

Went 3 days, Thursday until just now.

Suck on it, haters.

[rocknrolla]

HELL TO THE NO!
Posted via Mobile Device

[ThaVirus]

Went 3 days, Thursday until just now.

Suck on it, haters.

It's so funny that this thread was brought back up because I'm attempting to go for as long as I can without masterbating/getting a nut off (just because).. It's been like 4 days now and last night was reeeeallly rough. I was kinda sitting around the house watching movies and wanted to spank it so bad, but didn't. It was all a waste though because I'm probably going to have me some sex tonight...

[MIAdragon]

Nope, why the F would you?

[Crush]

Nope and I refuse to try.

[JOhn]

You're not married are you?

:LOL:LMAO

[ChiefChick]

LMAOI don't think I could go 2 hours.