Dessert Warfare: Round 5, Match 1

[Rain Man]

This is where the sugar meets the road. Round 5. We have 35 competitors left, so we'll go with four sets of matchups this time round.

[Old Dog]

In before poll (I guess that's the thing to do)

[Rain Man]

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake (1 Loss) vs. Peach crisp over Blue Bunny vanilla ice cream (1 Loss)

Gotta go with the vanilla bean today. I'm in a cheesecake kind of mood.

Raspberry chocolate cheesecake (1 Loss) vs. Layer Bars (Cashews, Chocolate Chips, Coconut over Cheesecake in Graham Cracker Crust) (0 Losses)

Whew. Tough one. These are two of the finest desserts to grace this American land of ours. This may be the toughest decision I've made in the entire tournament, but I have to go layer bars.

Peach Pie (1 Loss) vs. Strawberry shortcake (1 Loss)

Meh on both of these. I'll go shortcake.

Banana Split Sundae (0.5 Losses) vs. Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream (0 Losses)

Homemade vanilla for me. I don't understand the appeal of the banana split.

Key Lime Pie (1 Loss) vs. Banana cream pie (0 Losses)

Duh. Key lime pie by a mile. Key lime pie transports a person to the Florida Keys, fishing with Ernest Hemingway and watching girls in bikinis sashaying down the boardwalk. Key lime is the key to happiness.

[DeezNutz]

So glad to eliminate key lime pie this round. It's good, but banana cream pie is like lying on a Caribbean beach, watching girls, who are far hotter than the ones found in the Keys, frolicking in the sand.

[Rain Man]

So glad to eliminate key lime pie this round. It's good, but banana cream pie is like lying on a Caribbean beach, watching girls, who are far hotter than the ones found in the Keys, frolicking in the sand.

Banana cream is basically sitting in a nursing home mushing it between your toothless gums, watching the orderlies vacuum around the sagging breasts of the old widows watching The Price Is Right.

[DeezNutz]

Banana cream is basically sitting in a nursing home mushing it between your toothless gums, watching the orderlies vacuum around the sagging breasts of the old widows watching The Price Is Right.

Nursing home! Nursing home!!! When you're lauding over-hyped green jello?

[luv]

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake
Raspberry Chocolate Cheesecake (close call)
Strawberry Shortcake
Banana Split
Banana Cream Pie (not a fan of lime)

[RockChalk]

Haha...good riddance Key Lime. Back to the nursing home for you.

[mlyonsd]

As God is my witness my wife just sent me this in an email:

"I’m thinking about tweaking that chocolate/raspberry cheesecake recipe – would you take it Monday if I made it Sunday? "

Freaky.

[Rain Man]

As God is my witness my wife just sent me this in an email:

"I’m thinking about tweaking that chocolate/raspberry cheesecake recipe – would you take it Monday if I made it Sunday? "

Freaky.


Weird. Maybe you should consider making layer bars instead.

I'm really pleased with the performance of layer bars. I love those things, and wasn't sure how they'd do since they don't have as strong a name recognition as some other options.

[patteeu]

Vanilla Bean Cheesecake - Much better, IMO

Layer Bars - I almost cast a vote for the cheesecake, but I like coconut better than rasberry

Strawberry shortcake - peach just isn't my flavor

Banana Split Sundae - Close call

Banana Cream Pie - Sorry Key Lime

[4th and Long]

Banana cream is basically sitting in a nursing home mushing it between your toothless gums, watching the orderlies vacuum around the sagging breasts of the old widows watching The Price Is Right.
Right now it appears that banana cream has switched medications with key lime and slipped her a roofie.

[mlyonsd]

I'm really pleased with the performance of layer bars. I love those things, and wasn't sure how they'd do since they don't have as strong a name recognition as some other options.

They sound like the circus just pulled into town.

[BigMeatballDave]

Evil Raspberry is going down!

[Rain Man]

Key lime is stealthily sneaking up on banana cream. Very clever, key lime. Very clever.

[cdcox]

Weird. Maybe you should consider making layer bars instead.

I'm really pleased with the performance of layer bars. I love those things, and wasn't sure how they'd do since they don't have as strong a name recognition as some other options.

I thought you were anti-nut?

[Zebedee DuBois]

I think I got to vote twice - or I didn't save it the first time. I voted Key Lime both times.

And what's with the nuts? That is too generic a term. I might feel differently about a macadamia vs. a walnut in my cookie.

[Rain Man]

I thought you were anti-nut?

As a rule, I am, but layer bars are an exception to the rule. I think it's because the chocolate chips already add a more crunchy texture, so adding the cashews doesn't disrupt an otherwise smooth texture.

Plus, they're cashews. Cashews are an entirely different affair than other nuts.

[Rain Man]

I think I got to vote twice - or I didn't save it the first time. I voted Key Lime both times.

And what's with the nuts? That is too generic a term. I might feel differently about a macadamia vs. a walnut in my cookie.


Good job on the key lime.

And yeah, good point on the nuts. I'm generally assuming that it's the most common nut that's used in a particular dish. Half the time I can't tell - pecan, walnut, peanut?

[mlyonsd]

I think I got to vote twice - or I didn't save it the first time. I voted Key Lime both times.

I knew it. Voter fraud.

[4th and Long]

I think I got to vote twice - or I didn't save it the first time. I voted Key Lime both times.
This poll is officially tainted. Key Lime obviously has people stuffing the ballot box.

[mlyonsd]

This poll is officially tainted. Key Lime obviously has people stuffing the ballot box.

Key Lime has come back in a rally from falling behind too many times for their not to be something fishy going on.

[Rain Man]

I've known zedebee for years and will defend his integrity staunchly since he was voting for key lime.

[Renegade]

I knew it. Voter fraud.

Yes, but was there any hanging chad's on the ballot? This whole thing may have to be rerun if that is the case.

[Rain Man]

Key lime was actually briefly in the lead before the banana people started stuffing the ballot box.

[4th and Long]

I knew it. Voter fraud.
Tell me about it!!! :cuss:

[mlyonsd]

Yes, but was there any hanging chad's on the ballot? This whole thing may have to be rerun if that is the case.

This is the perfect example of why electronic balloting is scary.

Key Lime will never go down in history as a great dessert, instead it's legacy might well be a fair and honest democracy.

[4th and Long]

Key lime was actually briefly in the lead before the banana people started stuffing the ballot box.
I believe what you meant to say was the banana people saw a terrible injustice being done, namely, the stuffing of the ballot box by the key lime people, and sounded a rally cry. You can kiss our collective banana hammocks.

FREEDOM!

[Zebedee DuBois]

If any of you Neanderthals knew a thing or two about refrigerated pies, you would realize the Key Lime deserves two votes for every vote for Banana Cream - and i like Banana Cream.

[Rain Man]

Speaking of neanderthals, key lime is a pie for the highly evolved. Banana eaters are evolutionarily delayed.

[4th and Long]

If any of you Neanderthals knew a thing or two about refrigerated pies, you would realize the Key Lime deserves two votes for every vote for Banana Cream - and i like Banana Cream.
Pssshhh. Any why is that? Is it because Key Lime has a longer shelf life in the refrigerator than banana cream? Well, sure it does. It has to. It has to sit in the refrigerator longer because everyone is busy eating the delicious banana cream pie first.

DUH!

:D

[Zebedee DuBois]

Pssshhh. Any why is that? Is it because Key Lime has a longer shelf life in the refrigerator than banana cream? Well, sure it does. It has to. It has to sit in the refrigerator longer because everyone is busy eating the delicious banana cream pie first.

DUH!

:D

Double Pssshhh. I see that product integrity is lost on you...the fact that the sum of the ingredients is inherently more stable for lime vs. banana.

But the true beauty of the Key Lime Pie is the contrast in flavors - the balance of sweet vs. the tartness of the lime. Just like we value Freedom because we know the Great Price paid to obtain it, just like we know Life is Precious because we also know our grasp on it is tenuous - the contrasting flavors of Key Lime Pie speak to our very Humanity!


!!!

[4th and Long]

Double Pssshhh. I see that product integrity is lost on you...the fact that the sum of the ingredients is inherently more stable for lime vs. banana.

But the true beauty of the Key Lime Pie is the contrast in flavors - the balance of sweet vs. the tartness of the lime. Just like we value Freedom because we know the Great Price paid to obtain it, just like we know Life is Precious because we also know our grasp on it is tenuous - the contrasting flavors of Key Lime Pie speak to our very Humanity!


!!!
Oh yeah. I forgot how hard LIMES are to come by. :rolleyes:

Try wrestling a banana away from an 800lb gorilla. The price paid was far greater and the loss of life was unimaginable.

[cdcox]

I voted banana cream pie on the assumption that is was very well made. The last two times I made it, it was just okay. I just don't have the knack for making a good BCP.

[Zebedee DuBois]

Admittedly, my eloquence is out of practice. I was trying to go for a William Wallace type of exhortation - to rally the KLP troops. This pie on pie violence is unnerving.

[4th and Long]

Admittedly, my eloquence is out of practice. I was trying to go for a William Wallace type of exhortation - to rally the KLP troops. This pie on pie violence is unnerving.
Isn't pie on pie violence one of the 7 signs of the apocalypse?

I think it is. In fact, it was you who challenged the peaceful banana pie people.

My God. It's all so clear now. How could I have not seen this before? You are the Anti-Christ and this pie on pie hate crime is the reason for the impending rapture!!!

BE GONE, SATAN!!!

[Rain Man]

I think the truth is that the tropical cream pie people need to unite to take on the greater enemy of the deciduous tree fruit people. Banana isn't the real enemy. It's apple, cherry, and peach, the axis of pie evil.

[BucEyedPea]

What no crepes?

[Rain Man]

What no crepes?

Crepes died in Round 2.

[RealSNR]

What no crepes?A good crepe is just okay. A bad crepe is absolutely fucking disgusting. It's the most revolting thing on the face of the planet.

[Rain Man]

A good crepe is just okay. A bad crepe is absolutely ****ing disgusting. It's the most revolting thing on the face of the planet.

Speaking of which, I was at a party the other night, and generally when I'm at a party all I do is stand in the corner and eat appetizers. They had some good ones, and then I saw this little yellow cakelike thing. I popped one in my mouth, and it was absolutely disgusting. It was mushy with no flavor and a bad texture, and I was half-tempted to spit it out on the floor. I couldn't even tell what it was, but at some point another guest mentioned that it was polenta. Vile stuff, that polenta.

[ModSocks]

EAT ALL THE JUNK FOOD YOU CAN! IF YOU HAVE ANY LOVED ONES IN AUSTRALIA OR NEW ZEALAND, CALL THEM, THE RAPTURE STARTS TONIGHT!

[mlyonsd]

If the Key Lime debacle plays out the way it appears it will I'm contacting the ACLU on Banana Cream's behalf.

This Round/Match may be held up in the courts for quite a long time.

[Rain Man]

Man, these were some kittenworthy battles.

Peach crisp goes down fighting, but goes down.

Raspberry chocolate cheesecake and layer bars pummel each other to a draw.

Peach pie is knocked out in the only one-sided matchup.

Homemade vanilla ice cream loses a split decision (get it? split?) and takes its first loss.

And in an epic battle of tropical fruit cream pies. banana cream sits dejectedly in its corner on its little stool as key lime's arm is raised is triumph.

I think now is a time of healing between the limers and the banana people. We must regroup and think ahead to the next round, and hopefully will meet again down the road.