Gladiator Round 1, Match 16: RockChalk vs. big nasty kcnut

[Rain Man]

RockChalk:

3 hand grenades

Backup bowie knife

Prep time: 80 seconds



big nasty kcnut:

Crossbow and 6 bolts

Backup bowie knife

Prep time: 71 seconds



Venue:


A flat plain, no trees for miles in any direction, during a raging violent thunderstorm

Starting Distance: 14 feet

[MOhillbilly]

nut loads the arrow backwards and shoots himself. Unpossible you say!?! I think not.

[Steron]

In a raging violent storm I would think that loading a xbow quickly would be a nightmare. Pulling a pin on a grenade and semi-accurately tossing it 14 feet would be much easier (unless you're Matt Cassel) .

Winner = RockChalk

[Bowser]

Nut got a bad draw. Violent thunderstorms are going to royally screw up his ability to load, aim, and fire the crossbow, while RockChalk can just chuck the grenades in Nut's general vicinity, stun him, then gut him with the knife. RockChalk takes this one.

[The Franchise]

Nut doesn't stand a chance.

[Bowser]

nut loads the arrow backwards and shoots himself. Unpossible you say!?! I think not.

:LOL:

[Pants]

Does kc nut have any experience with crossbows? Aren't they a bitch to load?

In either case, I'll go with RockChalk due to ease of use and effectiveness of grenades.

[Rain Man]

At a starting distance of 14 feet, if I'm kcnut I drop the crossbow, charge, and turn this into a knife fight.

At a starting distance of less than 25 feet or so, it comes down to whomever is best with a knife as long as kcnut doesn't give RockChalk a chance to throw his grenades. At 25 to 50 feet or so, advantage RockChalk in a big way. At 50 to 100 feet, RockChalk probably has an advantage. More than 100 feet it goes kcnut's way.

I think we have a knife fight, though.

[loochy]

I think we have a knife fight, though. And believe me, nut can knife fight. He knows how to do stuffs.

[DJ's left nut]

Think about this for a moment, folks.

If we're in an open plain, in a driving thunderstorm, we're operating in raw mud.

Now if RC throws the grenade any distance, it's going to bury itself in the mud (Those MFers are very heavy). The mud will take up a lot of the concussive impact and there are no trees around to create shrapnel.

I'm thinking RC wastes his first couple of grenades making large mudholes, and that's only if Nut tries to increase the distance first (which RC will likely allow, given that he doesn't want to blow himself up).

As for a the crossbow - the modern style ones aren't really that tough to load. You set it in a groove and use something of a lever action to ratchet it back. RC can't exactly throw one of those grenades when they're operating in close quarters so Nut can try to keep him at a distance of 10-20 feet for a bit while loading the bolt.

I'm going with Nut on this one.

[Pants]

Think about this for a moment, folks.

If we're in an open plain, in a driving thunderstorm, we're operating in raw mud.

Now if RC throws the grenade any distance, it's going to bury itself in the mud (Those MFers are very heavy). The mud will take up a lot of the concussive impact and there are no trees around to create shrapnel.

I'm thinking RC wastes his first couple of grenades making large mudholes, and that's only if Nut tries to increase the distance first (which RC will likely allow, given that he doesn't want to blow himself up).

As for a the crossbow - the modern style ones aren't really that tough to load. You set it in a groove and use something of a lever action to ratchet it back. RC can't exactly throw one of those grenades when they're operating in close quarters so Nut can try to keep him at a distance of 10-20 feet for a bit while loading the bolt.

I'm going with Nut on this one.

Umm no, the grenade itself will create enough shrapnel to incapacitate kc nut, you don't need any fucking trees, lol.

[loochy]

Umm no, the grenade itself will create enough shrapnel to incapacitate kc nut, you don't need any fucking trees, lol.

Lol!

http://www.usmilitariaforum.com/uploads//monthly_07_2009/post-2677-1247612513.jpg

[DJ's left nut]

Umm no, the grenade itself will create enough shrapnel to incapacitate kc nut, you don't need any fucking trees, lol.

Not if it's buried in mud and not if KC doesn't open the gap (they're starting at 14 ft).

[seclark]

Lol!

http://www.usmilitariaforum.com/uploads//monthly_07_2009/post-2677-1247612513.jpg

nut would eat that shit like potato chips.
sec

[Pants]

Not if it's buried in mud and not if KC doesn't open the gap (they're starting at 14 ft).

Yes, the grenades become ineffective in rainy conditions on the battlefield. :facepalm:

I'm pretty sure the explosive force of a grenade is such that it would be enough for it go through some mud and into kc nut's vital organs.

[mlyonsd]

I'm guessing with 9 seconds less prep time and only 14 feet the grenades become a moot point so it comes down to the knives.

[Bugeater]

If it's a grassy plain I can't imagine the grenades are going to sink very far into the ground. Sorry Nut, but your ass is getting blown to pieces.

[MOhillbilly]

If it's a grassy plain I can't imagine the grenades are going to sink very far into the ground. Sorry Nut, but your ass is getting blown to pieces.

Cook it off.

Air burst. ftw.

[Groves]

I'm going with Nut on this one.

As I suspected. All you nuts sticking together.

[Groves]

What it comes down to is how fast can they both run.

Nut will try to close the gap. Chalk will try to maximize the gap.

Which is easier on the run, cocking and loading a crossbow or throwing a grenade?

The slowest man loses.

[MOhillbilly]

What it comes down to is how fast can they both run.

Nut will try to close the gap. Chalk will try to maximize the gap.

Which is easier on the run, cocking and loading a crossbow or throwing a grenade?

The slowest man loses.

ummm, you know everyone on CP runs a 4sec 40 right?

[Dave Lane]

Nuts best bet would be to toss the crossbow at Rockchalk and close the 14 feet.

[btlook1]

Nut charges rock Chalk when the rain is the hardest creating visibility problems. Knocking the rock chalk down pullin the pin on the last grenade he shoves it down chalks pants and runs off....never using but one arrow but the one he loaded. Victory to KCNUT!

[RockChalk]

I like my chances whether he closes the gap or not. I'll just use the knife and save the 3 grenades for the next round.

[Dave Lane]

Rock chalks best bet is toss grenade #1 about 5 feet in front of him and backup so Nut can't close, then air toss the next grenade at 25 feet ex-Nut

[rageeumr]

I think Rockchalk holds the cards. If Nut tries to load the crossbow, chuck a grenade. If Nut tries to increase distance, run after him and chuck a grenade. If Nut charges, drop a grenade and run like hell.

[KurtCobain]

If it's a grassy plain I can't imagine the grenades are going to sink very far into the ground. Sorry Nut, but your ass is getting blown to pieces.

So is RockChalk, he's less than five yards away from where he's throwing that grenade.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

rockchalk throw grenade nut fall on it nut blow too pieces

[chefsos]

I think if this fight (and thread) ends and kcnut misses it he'll kill a motherfucker. Not sure if he'll use a crossbow.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

I can't in good conscience vote for the Beaker.

NutFTW.

[Jewish Rabbi]

Is anyone factoring in Nut's retard strength?

[RockChalk]

rockchalk throw grenade nut fall on it nut blow too pieces

This sums it up nicely

[big nasty kcnut]

Well my plan is to run when he throws his grenades. Get far away as possible. Then when he finished i'll run up to him firing my crossbow and knowing i have at best one shot hit him in the kneecap. Then use one of the arrow as a mini spear attack rock chalk and cut his neck with bowie knife and use the arrow to stab him in the heart.

[listopencil]

Well my plan is to run when he throws his grenades. Get far away as possible. Then when he finished i'll run up to him firing my crossbow and knowing i have at best one shot hit him in the kneecap. Then use one of the arrow as a mini spear attack rock chalk and cut his neck with bowie knife and use the arrow to stab him in the heart.


You're a dead man.

[MIAdragon]

http://www.wpclipart.com/weapons/grenade/.cache/grenade_throw.png

[MOhillbilly]

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pMJQNc3xTsY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Rain Man]

RockChalk walks, kc nut ... not. Game over.

[Iowanian]

kcnut save by Sarah Palin swoop from sky hulk glove fist punch rochchach in cooterbone to death kcnut win by fatality then make love sarah palin on mountain top

[tooge]

nut stands no chance. Grenade will jack you from a good 30 feet away. and he'd have to hit vitals with his little crossbow to completely disable RC. RC in a walkoff

[big nasty kcnut]

Oh thank for the vote of confidence. You folks think i wouldn't have a game plan i'm a ww2 buff so i would know how to get myself out of any problem. Also about sarah palin i would want to date her daughter bristol sarah already married. Plus to the 15 who voted for me thanks.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Oh thank for the vote of confidence. You folks think i wouldn't have a game plan i'm a ww2 buff so i would know how to get myself out of any problem. Also about sarah palin i would want to date her daughter bristol sarah already married. Plus to the 15 who voted for me thanks.

I just have to assume since you forget about 30 percent of your words, that there's at least a 1:3 chance you're going to forget to do anything at all.

[Iowanian]

kcnut man enough to hook up sportman double and get sara and bristol palin 2 chics same time at victory party kick ass sea bass

[The Franchise]

Oh thank for the vote of confidence. You folks think i wouldn't have a game plan i'm a ww2 buff so i would know how to get myself out of any problem. Also about sarah palin i would want to date her daughter bristol sarah already married. Plus to the 15 who voted for me thanks.

And how do you plan on getting out of the situation where someone throws a grenade 10 feet away from you?

[Skyy God]

And how do you plan on getting out of the situation where someone throws a grenade 10 feet away from you?

Retard speed.

[4th and Long]

I'm a little bothered that a decade long member of this board is being referred to as a retard. It's obvious some of you don't know his story.

[Rain Man]

And how do you plan on getting out of the situation where someone throws a grenade 10 feet away from you?


If he throws himself on it, he could win a Medal of Honor. I think it would help if there were some Marines nearby, though. Jumping on one when you're by yourself doesn't get the same heroic reception.

[MOhillbilly]

Retard speed.

you be nice.

[tooge]

I'm a little bothered that a decade long member of this board is being referred to as a retard. It's obvious some of you don't know his story.

I'm a little bothered that you just used the "R" word.

[big nasty kcnut]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

[tooge]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

so take that

[Fire Me Boy!]

I'm a little bothered that a decade long member of this board is being referred to as a retard. It's obvious some of you don't know his story.

I am harping on his writing mainly because the dude says he's a writer, wants to be a writer, acts like a writer and authors a blog, but can't write a coherent sentence to save his life. And when he's been offered the help he needs to become a better writer (I've personally offered to help him), he does nothing to help himself. I have little patience and/or respect for that.

[Sofa King]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

LMAO


sig worthy

[MOhillbilly]

I am harping on his writing mainly because the dude says he's a writer, wants to be a writer, acts like a writer and authors a blog, but can't write a coherent sentence to save his life. And when he's been offered the help he needs to become a better writer (I've personally offered to help him), he does nothing to help himself. I have little patience and/or respect for that.


let it go.

bottom line, hes one of us. he is his own person. that should be good enough for any fuckin man.

[seclark]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

fuckem all, nut.

[Skyy God]

you be nice.

Jokes are WAY funnier when you have to explain them. See, the mentally handicapped are known for their strength, not speed. And the kicker is, Nut isn't even mentally retarded, having cerebal palsy (or something similar).

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

How'd that out of town girl work out, Nut.... hit it and quit it?

[big nasty kcnut]

also i won't kill people i'll just be here and banging the female in your family who is the hottest so hard she'll walk with a limp.

[Rain Man]

also i won't kill people i'll just be here and banging the female in your family who is the hottest so hard she'll walk with a limp.

Oh, that would be his younger sister.

[loochy]

Retard speed.

That's a bit of an oxymoron there sir.

[loochy]

let it go.

bottom line, hes one of us. he is his own person. that should be good enough for any fuckin man.

Unfortunately, it's not enough for my dad. :crybaby:

[Iowanian]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.


I've always heard the statement once in a while that a person had a certain type of freak strength...referred to as "Rword-Strength"


Something tells me that Nut is a wombwrecker from way back because his extra muscle is right where your sister likes it.

*he also used the proper "your" and "you're". Bravo

[MOhillbilly]

Jokes are WAY funnier when you have to explain them. See, the mentally handicapped are known for their strength, not speed. And the kicker is, Nut isn't even mentally retarded, having cerebal palsy (or something similar).



How'd that out of town girl work out, Nut.... hit it and quit it?

try harder to be funny.

[Iowanian]

ladies kcnut catch grenade for ya

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SR6iYWJxHqs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Ming the Merciless]

I'm a little bothered that a decade long member of this board is being referred to as a retard. It's obvious some of you don't know his story.

Does he have an interesting story or is he just a doofus?

[whoman69]

I think they both are killed by their own weapons.

[listopencil]

nut loads the arrow backwards and shoots himself. Unpossible you say!?! I think not.

This.

[listopencil]

yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.

Epic Win.