Gladiator Round 1, Match 19: CHENZ A! vs. kysirsoze

[Rain Man]

CHENZ A!:

Klingon batleth

No backup weapon

Time to prep: 70 seconds

kysirsoze:


English longbow and 6 arrows

No backup weapon

Special factor: You have a jet pack good for ten minutes of flight

Time to prep: 94 seconds


Venue:

Classic sandy arena

Starting distance: 2 feet

[kysirsoze]

Jetpack gets me out of range for a whole ten minutes. I have an archery merit badge to back me up. Hell, I could probably fly low over his head and melt his face off with the jet pack if I needed to. Chenz is fucking toast.

[SAUTO]

Damn, I don't know what a klingon batleth is.
Posted via Mobile Device

[kysirsoze]

Damn, I don't know what a klingon batleth is.
Posted via Mobile Device

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9qD_TT4pa1snD3zVsDGBNdYsIU0Kz1YjWT54RgIpuMDVJc0ML

Very short range. No need for me to ever get that close to him.

[Rain Man]

When I first rolled the weapons and the starting distance, I thought kysiroze was hosed. However, getting the jet pack is a difference maker. I suspect he'll need some stitches, but if he can accelerate out of there before getting killed, he then floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, firing at CHENZ A! from very short range with a very powerful weapon.

I think kysirsoze can get away, but it really comes down to whomever has the faster reflexes in that first second of combat.

[mlyonsd]

Hell, I could probably fly low over his head and melt his face off with the jet pack if I needed to. Chenz is ****ing toast.Winner. A plus are your quick thinking skills.

[kysirsoze]

When I first rolled the weapons and the starting distance, I thought kysiroze was hosed. However, getting the jet pack is a difference maker. I suspect he'll need some stitches, but if he can accelerate out of there before getting killed, he then floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, firing at CHENZ A! from very short range with a very powerful weapon.

I think kysirsoze can get away, but it really comes down to whomever has the faster reflexes in that first second of combat.

I can defend myself somewhat with the bow as well. I'll probably murder him simply by taking off at that close of a distance. He is sooooo fucked.

[Old Dog]

Very short range. No need for me to ever get that close to him.

but you start at 2ft

this is a tough one

[kysirsoze]

but you start at 2ft

I can defend myself somewhat with the bow as well. I'll probably murder him simply by taking off at that close of a distance. He is sooooo fucked.

...

[Old Dog]

OK, you convinced me.

[CHENZ A!]

This fool will never get away from me. 10 second kill.

[kysirsoze]

This fool will never get away from me. 10 second kill.

If you need 10 seconds you are already on fire with 3 or more arrows sticking out of you.

[CHENZ A!]

I will slice you with that klingon thing, then take your arrows and jab them in each eye socket. After you are dead I will turn on the jet pack just to watch your limp body fly into things.

[CHENZ A!]

If you need 10 seconds you are already on fire with 3 or more arrows sticking out of you.

Sorry, but you won't even be able to get an arrow pointed at me quickly enough while I'm slashing away. And seriously, you think you're going to turn around and set me on fire with your jet pack?? That's absurd.

[Hammock Parties]

10 minutes of airborne impunity and a ranged weapon = winner

[kysirsoze]

I will slice you with that klingon thing, then take your arrows and jab them in each eye socket. After you are dead I will turn on the jet pack just to watch your limp body fly into things.

You clearly have no prior knowledge of the elegant weapon that is the Bat'leth. It is an unwieldly weapon to the untrained. I probably won't have a chance to kill you before you slice your own throat.

[kysirsoze]

Sorry, but you won't even be able to get an arrow pointed at me quickly enough while I'm slashing away. And seriously, you think you're going to turn around and set me on fire with your jet pack?? That's absurd.

Absurd?? I have all the time I need to get situated before the fight even begins. The propulsive force from the jetpack will probably knock you unconscious so at least you won't feel your skin melt off.

[AustinChief]

Here is a good test... go stand 2 feet away from the wall and say "GO!" at that EXACT moment... would you rather have a GIANT razor sharp bladed weapon or a jet pack and a bow?

This would be an almost instant kill by CHENZ A!, sorry kysirsoze

[Dave Lane]

If it wasn't 2 feet and Chenz didn't have a 2 foot weapon I'd say he's hosed. But it will take a 3-4 seconds to take off and by then he's disemboweled. Chenz in a clear victory.

[CHENZ A!]

You clearly have no prior knowledge of the elegant weapon that is the Bat'leth. It is an unwieldly weapon to the untrained. I probably won't have a chance to kill you before you slice your own throat.

Oh that's right, I forgot about how you fly a jet pack all the time, and can shoot a bow and arrow accurately while moving + moving target + trying to steer a jet pack.

[Hammock Parties]

It takes more time to swing a Bat'leh than it does to push a button and rocket away.

[AustinChief]

It takes more time to swing a Bat'leh than it does to push a button and rocket away.

You are officially retarded.

You wouldn't even need to swing it, place the blade at the neck and any attempt to "rocket away" will just further the damage.

And just for good measure, I repeat, you are a fucking moron.

[SAUTO]

Lol. At AC. He pays attention
Posted via Mobile Device

[Buck]

Chenz has this one easy.

[kysirsoze]

Here is a good test... go stand 2 feet away from the wall and say "GO!" at that EXACT moment... would you rather have a GIANT razor sharp bladed weapon or a jet pack and a bow?

This would be an almost instant kill by CHENZ A!, sorry kysirsoze

Jetpack and a bow. Easy. In fact I could drop the bow.

The jetpack would basically act as a huge firey cannon on my back. that versus a big sword that is particularly difficult to handle. He would have about 1/20th of a second to move that blade 2 ft before being blown away.

[kysirsoze]

You are officially retarded.

You wouldn't even need to swing it, place the blade at the neck and any attempt to "rocket away" will just further the damage.

And just for good measure, I repeat, you are a fucking moron.

He has to maintain the 2 ft until the starting time. He can't reach over and place it on my neck before we begin. That's cheating. He will be the full two feet away from me and get blasted in half. GAME OVER.

[WV]

Everyone is also missing that Chenz has a full 24 second advantage.....sorry kysirsoze, but you'll be headless before you know what happened. Without that advantage it's all you.

I also could be mis-interpretting "prep" time.

[SAUTO]

Everyone is also missing that Chenz has a full 24 second advantage.....sorry kysirsoze, but you'll be headless before you know what happened. Without that advantage it's all you.

I also could be mis-interpretting "prep" time.
Yeah you are.
Posted via Mobile Device

[kysirsoze]

Everyone is also missing that Chenz has a full 24 second advantage.....sorry kysirsoze, but you'll be headless before you know what happened. Without that advantage it's all you.

I also could be mis-interpretting "prep" time.

You absolutely are. We start at the same time.

[WV]

Yeah you are.
Posted via Mobile Device

I was confusing prep time with more of a handicap....so they each have that much time to aclimate themselves with their weapons....ahhhh.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Jetpack and a bow. Easy. In fact I could drop the bow.

The jetpack would basically act as a huge firey cannon on my back. that versus a big sword that is particularly difficult to handle. He would have about 1/20th of a second to move that blade 2 ft before being blown away.

Would kysirsoze have the jetpack during prep time or would he be handed it the same time as his weapon? If he already has the jetpack, does he have to be facing his enemy? and how modern is this jetpack? does it take off immediately or does it take time to accelerate?

[kysirsoze]

http://i56.tinypic.com/2zs9suv.png


Look at this and PLEASE explain how I don't win this easily.

[kysirsoze]

Would kysirsoze have the jetpack during prep time or would he be handed it the same time as his weapon? If he already has the jetpack, does he have to be facing his enemy? and how modern is this jetpack? does it take off immediately or does it take time to accelerate?

I'm assuming I get to use the prep time however I like as long as I don't violate the 2 feet rule. I would simply aim the exhaust at my unfortunate enemy and be done with him at the first whistle.

[kysirsoze]

http://i56.tinypic.com/2zs9suv.png


Look at this and PLEASE explain how I don't win this easily.

HEY GUY WHO VOTED AGAINST ME SINCE I POSTED THIS. THOUGHTS???

[KurtCobain]

I'm assuming I get to use the prep time however I like as long as I don't violate the 2 feet rule. I would simply aim the exhaust at my unfortunate enemy and be done with him at the first whistle.

The weapons are given to you as soon as they say go! Not during prep time. Rainman clarified that. I dunno if the jetpack counts as a weapon though.

If it does, you're fucked. By time you start strapping it on you've already been hit.

And I voted for you btw before I really thought it through. You could win it, so many factors.

[lostcause]

The same mobility that allows you to turn away and showcase your plan, allows him to prepare to dodge and swing. Plus you only have a minute to figure out how to work a jet pack and take stock of your arrows. At this range, I'd rather take the simple bladed weapon. I think you're screwed.

[KurtCobain]

Yeah, I'm looking back at rainman's prep time explanations and I think you get the jetpack thrown to you at the same time he's handed his weapon at the word GO! less than a breath away from you.

[KurtCobain]

The same mobility that allows you to turn away and showcase your plan, allows him to prepare to dodge and swing. Plus you only have a minute to figure out how to work a jet pack and take stock of your arrows. At this range, I'd rather take the simple bladed weapon. I think you're screwed.

HE DOES NOT HAVE HIS WEAPONS during that minute. He's just told what's about to happen.

[Kyle DeLexus]

I'm assuming I get to use the prep time however I like as long as I don't violate the 2 feet rule. I would simply aim the exhaust at my unfortunate enemy and be done with him at the first whistle.

"Contestants' prep time is to observe the situation and figure out a strategy and seek an advantageous location. They are given their weapons as the clock strikes zero, so both players get their weapons simultaneously."


Now just need clarification from Rain Man on if the Special Factor jetpack is a weapon.

[kysirsoze]

Yeah, I'm looking back at rainman's prep time explanations and I think you get the jetpack thrown to you at the same time he's handed his weapon at the word GO! less than a breath away from you.

That's bullshit! It's technically not a weapon, it's a "special factor". He would be fumbling with his newly received blade while I roasted him.

[kysirsoze]

The same mobility that allows you to turn away and showcase your plan, allows him to prepare to dodge and swing. Plus you only have a minute to figure out how to work a jet pack and take stock of your arrows. At this range, I'd rather take the simple bladed weapon. I think you're screwed.

He wouldn't have the blade, but I would have the jetpack. Jetpacks aren't real, so I can't give you specifications, but every iteration of a jetpack I've seen in television or film is a simple one button ignition system. I don't see an intelligent bloke such as myself needing too long to figure that one out.

[Sofa King]

I voted for Chenz based on the assumption that his weapon is really cool looking.

[kysirsoze]

"Contestants' prep time is to observe the situation and figure out a strategy and seek an advantageous location. They are given their weapons as the clock strikes zero, so both players get their weapons simultaneously."


Now just need clarification from Rain Man on if the Special Factor jetpack is a weapon.

If that's seriously why people are voting against me and RM confirms the fact that I have the jetpack in advance, I demand a recount.

[KurtCobain]

I can't find it, but I think he's mentioned special factors in the same breath as weaponry.

[Old Dog]

It's technically not a weapon, it's a "special factor".

but inasmuch as you're using it as your primary weapon.......

luckily for you I've already voted. I didn't think about you not already having your jetpack on

[lostcause]

He wouldn't have the blade, but I would have the jetpack. Jetpacks aren't real, so I can't give you specifications, but every iteration of a jetpack I've seen in television or film is a simple one button ignition system. I don't see an intelligent bloke such as myself needing too long to figure that one out.

I concur that this would be an advantage. I suppose a clarification from rain main is needed due to the proximity of the combatants and the capabilities of weapons and special factors.

[kysirsoze]

but inasmuch as you're using it as your primary weapon.......

luckily for you I've already voted. I didn't think about you not already having your jetpack on

That doesn't matter. It's not designated as a weapon.

[AustinChief]

Jetpack and a bow. Easy. In fact I could drop the bow.

The jetpack would basically act as a huge firey cannon on my back. that versus a big sword that is particularly difficult to handle. He would have about 1/20th of a second to move that blade 2 ft before being blown away.

hey man, I hate that your going to lose this but... a jet pack CAN NOT shoot fiery hot exhaust... if it did, it would burn your legs to a crisp ... an effective jet pack shoots out a cooled exhaust for thrust.

So, get that idea out of your head...

I am sorry bro, but I see no way you could win this unless CHENZ A just flubs it all.

[alnorth]

I would have voted for kysirsoze, but a starting distance of 2 feet completely screws him. He'll have the batleth stuck in his chest before he draws his bow or fires up his jetpack.

[kysirsoze]

hey man, I hate that your going to lose this but... a jet pack CAN NOT shoot fiery hot exhaust... if it did, it would burn your legs to a crisp ... an effective jet pack shoots out a cooled exhaust for thrust.

So, get that idea out of your head...

I am assuming you are both 2 feet away and facing each other.. if you are allowed to turn around during prep time, I see NO REASON that CHENZ A couldn't position his weapon during that time...

I am sorry bro, but I see no way you could win this unless CHENZ A just flubs it all.

I am not conceding the cooled exhaust, but even if I do, the power of the jet propulsion would knock him off his feet and allow me to escape with my bow and arrow to pick him apart.

ALSO, me turning away does not violate the 2 ft rule. Plus, he doesn't get the weapon until the time starts. He has no chance to position the weapon.

[kysirsoze]

I would have voted for kysirsoze, but a starting distance of 2 feet completely screws him. He'll have the batleth stuck in his chest before he draws his bow or fires up his jetpack.

You just cannot have read this thread.

[AustinChief]

He wouldn't have the blade, but I would have the jetpack. Jetpacks aren't real, so I can't give you specifications, but every iteration of a jetpack I've seen in television or film is a simple one button ignition system. I don't see an intelligent bloke such as myself needing too long to figure that one out.

Jetpacks are very much real... and they are EXTREMELY dangerous and difficult to fly. The fact is, you would likely kill yourself attempting to use it at all. You be better off using it to block or bludgeon CHENZ A.

[KurtCobain]

You just cannot have read this thread.

Yes he did. Your jetpack isn't gonna help at go. You'll probably get slice when he's handed the weapon, it's bigger than two feet, right? And if you're turn around, your jet pack is fucked.

[alnorth]

You just cannot have read this thread.

No, I made that mistake on the first day. I read every page, your arguments are not convincing. You are grasping at theoretical possibilities of winning, and ignoring the vast probability that a huge blade will be buried in your torso just as they say go.

Aside from that, I also have no confidence in you shooting a bow, at a moving target, while midair on a freaking jetpack. This isn't a cartoon where you'll be perfectly steady.

At worst, your opponent will have to patiently wait 10 minutes before gutting you.

[AustinChief]

I am not conceding the cooled exhaust, but even if I do, the power of the jet propulsion would knock him off his feet and allow me to escape with my bow and arrow to pick him apart.

ALSO, me turning away does not violate the 2 ft rule. Plus, he doesn't get the weapon until the time starts. He has no chance to position the weapon.

The only jet packs that can go longer than a number of SECONDS are based on turbojet engines. They use a dual intake to allow cool air to mix with the hot exhaust and cool it before expulsion.

The truth is, I have studied this tech and can fly just about anything and there is no way I wouldn't end up killing myself if I took off in haste.

[AustinChief]

Also... this is what you would likely be wearing
http://www.flatrock.org.nz/topics/flying/assets/jet_belt.jpg

NOW, if you are allowed to start out turned around and you somehow hit the button at the word GO and CHENZ A didn't strike your legs out from under you (the rest of you would be hidden by the pack).. the most likely scenario would be for you to skid head first along the ground since you decided to "aim" the relatively harmless exhaust at your foe. IF you survived that and were still conscious... the distance gained would give you a chance to shoot CHENZ A with the bow... but that is a TON of ifs. (OH and you couldn't effective draw a bow WHILE wearing a jet pack, so you'd need to remove it and since you are in a closed arena that would probably give CHENZ A time to close the distance you just gained)

[kysirsoze]

The only jet packs that can go longer than a number of SECONDS are based on turbojet engines. They use a dual intake to allow cool air to mix with the hot exhaust and cool it before expulsion.

The truth is, I have studied this tech and can fly just about anything and there is no way I wouldn't end up killing myself if I took off in haste.

After doing a quick YouTube search of real jetpack and not a rocketeer type setup, I'll concede the ability to blast him away, but not my ability to fly away from him while he tries to get a handle on his very dangerous blade without cutting off his own fingers. Once I have distance, I can take my time shooting him down. Piece of cake.

[lostcause]

AustinChief paints a pretty bleak picture.

[kysirsoze]

AustinChief paints a pretty bleak picture.

He also chose a larger jetpack than any of the ones I saw on You Tube. Jesus.

[AustinChief]

He also chose a larger jetpack than any of the ones I saw on You Tube. Jesus.

It's the only kind that is capable of more than 30 secs of flight. The smaller ones are based on a totally different system and while they are cool as hell, they have yet to make one that can go for 10 mins.. so we have to assume you have a turbojet based one.

As I said before, if it were me, I'd throw the damn thing at my opponent and run to get distance OR instead of WEARING it, you could try to hold it and blast the jets in front of you to keep him at bay... BUT that would likely just knock you both down...

[kysirsoze]

It's the only kind that is capable of more than 30 secs of flight. The smaller ones are based on a totally different system and while they are cool as hell, they have yet to make one that can go for 10 mins.. so we have to assume you have a turbojet based one.

Without clarification from RM, I am assuming the one that lends itself better to the situation. The smaller one. It doesn't need to be functional for 10 minutes. I only have it for ten minutes.

Edit: I thought it said "for ten minutes of the fight"

Still need clarification from RM on what my cool, game changing jetpack is like.

[Dave Lane]

Or you to grab your bow and arrows. If you stop to grab them you're done. If you don't you might escape weaponless.

[AustinChief]

Without clarification from RM, I am assuming the one that lends itself better to the situation. The smaller one. It doesn't need to be functional for 10 minutes. I only have it for ten minutes.

Edit: I thought it said "for ten minutes of the fight"

Still need clarification from RM on what my cool, game changing jetpack is like.

I'll wait for clarification but yeah I see the jetpack as more of a hindrance than anything.

[Old Dog]

You have to give it to kysirsoze though. He's putting up one hell of an argument, maybe not a 100% effective one, but a big one nonetheless.

[Dave Lane]

You have to give it to kysirsoze though. He's putting up one hell of an argument, maybe not a 100% effective one, but a big one nonetheless.

He's just missing nothing. And by nothing I mean the 0 that needs to be at the end of his 2 foot distance.

[kysirsoze]

Or you to grab your bow and arrows. If you stop to grab them you're done. If you don't you might escape weaponless.

It would have to take at least twice as long for him to arm himself as me. Did you see that thing?

[kysirsoze]

You have to give it to kysirsoze though. He's putting up one hell of an argument, maybe not a 100% effective one, but a big one nonetheless.

Im Casey Anthony's attorney IRL.

[MagicHef]

I've never seen a jetpack capable of moving its wearer from a stop quickly enough to get away from such an immediate attack. I believe it would take at least 5-10 seconds to get away, by which time several important body parts would be missing.

[AustinChief]

OK I have a way that kysirsoze could win. Remember they are in a typical Roman arena. IF we concede that kysirsoze could somehow control his jetpack and somehow land it high up on the arena walls.. he could then take his time removing the pack and shooting down on CHENZ A.

[Bugeater]

He's just missing nothing. And by nothing I mean the 0 that needs to be at the end of his 2 foot distance.
Yep, that starting distance does him in.

[kysirsoze]

OK I have a way that kysirsoze could win. Remember they are in a typical Roman arena. IF we concede that kysirsoze could somehow control his jetpack and somehow land it high up on the arena walls.. he could then take his time removing the pack and shooting down on CHENZ A.

Good point! How can I not win this?!

[AustinChief]

Good point! How can I not win this?!

Well, since you would more likely die attempting to fly the jetpack... and without massive training would NEVER be able to land on a wall...

[4th and Long]

K'pla CHENZ A!
Posted via Mobile Device

[kysirsoze]

Well, since you would more likely die attempting to fly the jetpack... and without massive training would NEVER be able to land on a wall...

KEEP FUCKING DOUBTING KYSIRSOZE.

[Bowser]

KEEP FUCKING DOUBTING KYSIRSOZE.

CHENZ A!: [after CHENZ A!'s cut off both of kysiroze's arms] Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!

kysirsoze: Yes I have.

CHENZ A!: *Look*!

kysirsoze: It's just a flesh wound.

[CHENZ A!]

THERE WILL BE AN ABUNDANT VICTORY FEAST

[MOhillbilly]

THERE WILL BE AN ABUNDANT VICTORY FEAST

you should be dead.

[Dave Lane]

OK I have a way that kysirsoze could win. Remember they are in a typical Roman arena. IF we concede that kysirsoze could somehow control his jetpack and somehow land it high up on the arena walls.. he could then take his time removing the pack and shooting down on CHENZ A.

He still has to grab his bow and arrows and try to hold them while hitting max warp on his jet pack whilst impaled on a Klingon war weapon.

No dice he's done. Good news, I think this is a quick death.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Oh that's right, I forgot about how you fly a jet pack all the time, and can shoot a bow and arrow accurately while moving + moving target + trying to steer a jet pack.

Of course he can, it's the Planet ROFL I'm sure firing arrows accurately from an unstable jet pack is a piece of cake.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Scenes from the battle....

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5NG7fAhvUcc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[CHENZ A!]

you should be dead.

Fuck that. I'm a motherfucking bulletproof tiger. You don't want to see me in the arena.

[Rain Man]

In reading through the thread, I will offer this clarification as the presiding judge.


There are three rules of chiefsplanetfight.


First, talk about chiefsplanetfight.

Second, weapons are provided in a state that is "ready to roll" at Time T=0. For a gun, this means that it is loaded with as many bullets as it can hold. For a bow and arrow, this means that an arrow is notched on the string. For a Super Soaker filled with ammonia, this means that it is pre-pumped to maximum power.

Third, there are actually more than three rules to chiefsplanetfight.

Fourth, special factors are in place at Time T=0, ready to roll, unless otherwise noted. They may be used as weapons, as may anything naturally occurring in the terrain (e.g., deep-fat fryer, innocent schoolchild, refrigerator magnet, etc.)

Fourth, the reason that participants receive their weapons at Time T=0 is so they cannot aim their weapons ahead of time. Otherwise, matches involving guns would be relatively short. If a special factor is intended to be used as a weapon, that special factor may not be aimed.

Fifth, all jet packs are assumed to be Buck Rogers-type packs that provide quick lift within one second of the flight controls being engaged, and employ a simple joystick control for directional movement and an up/down lever for altitude.

Sixth, during the prep phase, basic instruction is provided on weapons and any special factors, such as how to cock a gun, how to fly a jet pack, what a batleth is, etc.



As the judge, my ruling in this particular case is as follows. kysirsoze is allowed to use the jet pack as a weapon, but he cannot aim the weapon prior to Time T=0. He can choose the direction in which he faces, so if he wished to run or blast exhaust, he can begin by facing away from CHENZ A!. However, he cannot bend over prior to the start of the match, and that would be considered a breach of chiefsplanetfight etiquette anyway.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Being that close, Chenz could also swing the batleth at the jetpack before he blasts off, rendering it useless if he starts facing away from him.

[mlyonsd]

In reading through the thread, I will offer this clarification as the presiding judge.


There are three rules of chiefsplanetfight.


First, talk about chiefsplanetfight.

Second, weapons are provided in a state that is "ready to roll" at Time T=0. For a gun, this means that it is loaded with as many bullets as it can hold. For a bow and arrow, this means that an arrow is notched on the string. For a Super Soaker filled with ammonia, this means that it is pre-pumped to maximum power.

Third, there are actually more than three rules to chiefsplanetfight.

Fourth, special factors are in place at Time T=0, ready to roll, unless otherwise noted. They may be used as weapons, as may anything naturally occurring in the terrain (e.g., deep-fat fryer, innocent schoolchild, refrigerator magnet, etc.)

Fourth, the reason that participants receive their weapons at Time T=0 is so they cannot aim their weapons ahead of time. Otherwise, matches involving guns would be relatively short. If a special factor is intended to be used as a weapon, that special factor may not be aimed.

Fifth, all jet packs are assumed to be Buck Rogers-type packs that provide quick lift within one second of the flight controls being engaged, and employ a simple joystick control for directional movement and an up/down lever for altitude.

Sixth, during the prep phase, basic instruction is provided on weapons and any special factors, such as how to cock a gun, how to fly a jet pack, what a batleth is, etc.



As the judge, my ruling in this particular case is as follows. kysirsoze is allowed to use the jet pack as a weapon, but he cannot aim the weapon prior to Time T=0. He can choose the direction in which he faces, so if he wished to run or blast exhaust, he can begin by facing away from CHENZ A!. However, he cannot bend over prior to the start of the match, and that would be considered a breach of chiefsplanetfight etiquette anyway.:LOL: Only on Chiefsplanet.

[CHENZ A!]

2 feet? I'm 6'3 with Chalmers reach.. This dude won't get off the ground. No contest, flawless victory.

[MOhillbilly]

**** that. I'm a mother****ing bulletproof tiger. You don't want to see me in the arena.


you are soft as a feather.

[CHENZ A!]

you are soft as a feather.

The perfect combination of power and finesse. The gorgeous killer.

[tooge]

Chenz, you are hosed. He flies up and, knocks and arrow, and then flies down just out of range of the klingon thing you have and skewers you with an arrow.

[MOhillbilly]

You whisper that in your kitties ear dont cha?

[Hammock Parties]

God, this is Rain Man's finest hour.

This is like Jordan hitting that off-balance shot to beat the Cavs in the playoffs or Montana beating the Bengals in XXIII.

[CHENZ A!]

You whisper that in your kitties ear dont cha?

Oh you mean the vicious jungle cat that I keep as a pet who is also a trained killer?



Yeah, I do, while we snuggle on the couch. Don't judge me. LMAO

[kysirsoze]

Chenz, you are hosed. He flies up and, knocks and arrow, and then flies down just out of range of the klingon thing you have and skewers you with an arrow.

MOTHERFUCKING REP

[kysirsoze]

In reading through the thread, I will offer this clarification as the presiding judge.


There are three rules of chiefsplanetfight.


First, talk about chiefsplanetfight.

Second, weapons are provided in a state that is "ready to roll" at Time T=0. For a gun, this means that it is loaded with as many bullets as it can hold. For a bow and arrow, this means that an arrow is notched on the string. For a Super Soaker filled with ammonia, this means that it is pre-pumped to maximum power.

Third, there are actually more than three rules to chiefsplanetfight.

Fourth, special factors are in place at Time T=0, ready to roll, unless otherwise noted. They may be used as weapons, as may anything naturally occurring in the terrain (e.g., deep-fat fryer, innocent schoolchild, refrigerator magnet, etc.)

Fourth, the reason that participants receive their weapons at Time T=0 is so they cannot aim their weapons ahead of time. Otherwise, matches involving guns would be relatively short. If a special factor is intended to be used as a weapon, that special factor may not be aimed.

Fifth, all jet packs are assumed to be Buck Rogers-type packs that provide quick lift within one second of the flight controls being engaged, and employ a simple joystick control for directional movement and an up/down lever for altitude.

Sixth, during the prep phase, basic instruction is provided on weapons and any special factors, such as how to cock a gun, how to fly a jet pack, what a batleth is, etc.



As the judge, my ruling in this particular case is as follows. kysirsoze is allowed to use the jet pack as a weapon, but he cannot aim the weapon prior to Time T=0. He can choose the direction in which he faces, so if he wished to run or blast exhaust, he can begin by facing away from CHENZ A!. However, he cannot bend over prior to the start of the match, and that would be considered a breach of chiefsplanetfight etiquette anyway.

Thank you, Rainman. I may have lost this vote, but at least this post shows once and for all just how dominating my actual performance would have been. That will bring me comfort in the afterlife.

[Dave Lane]

provide quick lift within one second of the flight controls being engaged, and employ a simple joystick control for directional movement and an up/down lever for altitude.

Dead as crab meat. at least 2 shots before he gets airborne, and how does he fly the jet pack with two controls and hold on to his arrows and bow?

[kysirsoze]

provide quick lift within one second of the flight controls being engaged, and employ a simple joystick control for directional movement and an up/down lever for altitude.

Dead as crab meat. at least 2 shots before he gets airborne, and how does he fly the jet pack with two controls and hold on to his arrows and bow?

He doesn't have a goddamned lightsaber. He might injure a leg as I fly away, but that's it. I can fly out of his range as Austinchief suggested and take my time picking him off. As far as carrying the bow and arrow, all I need is one hand to go up. I can hold 6 arrows and a bow in the other. Once I am airborne, I can navigate the jetpack at my leisure until I am in position. I might have a little rehab time on the leg, but other than that I won't even break a sweat.

[Rain Man]

I think the biggest risk to kysirsoze is that CHENZ A! slices the batleth in vertically as kysirsoze is taking off, and then it tears through his torso and then one of the hooked parts catches on his hip bone and then as kysirsoze ascends, CHENZ A! hangs on and is carried into the air hanging on his batleth, which is imbedded in kysirsoze. But then if kysirsoze waggles around a lot and CHENZ A! can't hold on, then he falls to his death and kysirsoze wins, albeit with a dislocated spine and hip and the hooked part of a batleth imbedded in his body.

[kysirsoze]

I think the biggest risk to kysirsoze is that CHENZ A! slices the batleth in vertically as kysirsoze is taking off, and then it tears through his torso and then one of the hooked parts catches on his hip bone and then as kysirsoze ascends, CHENZ A! hangs on and is carried into the air hanging on his batleth, which is imbedded in kysirsoze. But then if kysirsoze waggles around a lot and CHENZ A! can't hold on, then he falls to his death and kysirsoze wins, albeit with a dislocated spine and hip and the hooked part of a batleth imbedded in his body.

A win is a win. Plus I would put my back to him. If it is a Buck Rodgers-like jetpack, I would thing the construction would be enough to withstand what is essentially a ceremonial sword.

[Rain Man]

In our most controversial match to date, it is now proven that CHENZ A! actually can slash kysirsoze before kysirsoze can alight.

[CHENZ A!]

KING KONG AIN"T GOT SHIT ON ME