Gladiator Round 2, Match 6: dartgod vs. truebigdog

[Rain Man]

Something tells me the Cinnabon people are going to have a story to tell when they get home tonight.



dartgod:

Scalpel Bolas

No backup weapon

Time to plan: 6 seconds

(Since it's hard to find them, see this post for an example of a scalpel bola at work: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=7709891&highlight=bolas#post7709891)

truebigdog:

Two Handed Sword

Backup weapon: Hedge Clippers

Time to plan: 72 seconds


Venue:

The local mall, extremely crowded with shoppers

Starting distance: 1,718 feet

[mlyonsd]

This one is tough. Need more info from the combatants.

[Rain Man]

Yeah, I've met dartgod and he's a bronzed adonis warrior (well, kind of - compared to me he is), but I don't know how truebigdog compares.

[Otter]

What are "Scalpel Bolas"?

I tried Google, I swear. And wow is Google quick, it was the first hit.

[Rain Man]

What are "Scalpel Bolas"?


Well, did you click the link? Or do I need to come over there and do it for you?

[Otter]

Well, did you click the link? Or do I need to come over there and do it for you?

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CCsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chiefsplanet.com%2FBB%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D246980&rct=j&q=Scalpel%20Bolas&ei=G00aToyRIYzpgAfQo70Z&usg=AFQjCNGS5xd7iwh3UvTMV5CzfCb30_aA-g&cad=rja

This kind of worries me if I ever want to run for president.

[Rain Man]

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CCsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chiefsplanet.com%2FBB%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D246980&rct=j&q=Scalpel%20Bolas&ei=G00aToyRIYzpgAfQo70Z&usg=AFQjCNGS5xd7iwh3UvTMV5CzfCb30_aA-g&cad=rja

Not that link. The other link. (Waits a moment.) Yeah, that one. Click that one.

[Rain Man]

This kind of worries me if I ever want to run for president.



That's why you have interns. Do you think Bill Clinton handled his own link? No way. He had interns to do that stuff.

[Otter]

That's why you have interns. Do you think Bill Clinton handled his own link? No way. He had interns to do that stuff.

Sorry, I took this of course but I still don't know what "Scalpel Bolas" are so I'll just STFU until I do.

[Rain Man]

Sorry, I took this of course but I still don't know what "Scalpel Bolas" are so I'll just STFU until I do.

Psst. Did you check out the link in the original post? It's from some movie.

[Hammock Parties]

SCALPEL BOLAS MOTHERFUCKERS

http://i53.tinypic.com/31657o2.jpg

[Hammock Parties]

Without all the shoppers I'd pick the guy with the sword. But with all the traffic, cover and a much quicker and more flexible weapon, I like dartgod.

[KurtCobain]

That's a pretty far distance. Walking through a mall with a sword and hedge clippers, I'd imagine the rent-a-cops are going to try and subdue you. Then you chop them, and you got good samaritans from behind to hold you down.

Then Dartgod shows up, weapon hidden, and kills you while your pinned waiting for police.

[Rain Man]

Given their starting distance, I wonder if they'll both stop along the way and add a bunch of shirts intermixed with Barnes and Noble books as shielding. I think that'd be my plan.

[Rain Man]

That's a pretty far distance. Walking through a mall with a sword and hedge clippers, I'd imagine the rent-a-cops are going to try and subdue you. Then you chop them, and you got good samaritans from behind to hold you down.

Then Dartgod shows up, weapon hidden, and kills you while your pinned waiting for police.

This is a very good point. truebigdog will be trying to explain to the mall cops that he was just at Cutlery World, and dartgod will take him out.

[Otter]

SCALPEL BOLAS MOTHER****ERS

http://i53.tinypic.com/31657o2.jpg

Thank you. I can vote now and sorry again for the tangent.

[Old Dog]

Too easy. As he takes a swing, I hack the bola cord and with the comeback I hack into his throat.
While I'm not a "bronzed adonis" (see post #3) I am probably in better shape than most. I work out 5-6 times a week. Mr Dartgod doesn't have to worry about Bwana in the next round, I'll end him here.

[Dartgod]

Hack the bola cord? Those bad boys are on the end of a chain.

You don't stand a chance.

[Rain Man]

I think kurtcobain touched on the key issue here. Will truebigdog be able to move unharassed through the mall compared to dartgod?

[Dartgod]

Yep, my weapon is concealable until I unleash it on him. Where is he going to hide a big ass sword and some hedge clippers?

[KurtCobain]

Exactly. I can just picture a huge crowd of people harrassing bigdog, and Dart just walks right up and puts that thing in his chest.

[Dartgod]

I'll be able to attack much faster with my weapon. The two handed sword is very heavy and awkward to maneuver for someone with no experience. My weapon is much lighter, can attack faster and is concealable.

This honestly shouldn't be as close as it is.

[chefsos]

I'll be able to attack much faster with my weapon. The two handed sword is very heavy and awkward to maneuver for someone with no experience. My weapon is much lighter, can attack faster and is concealable.

This honestly shouldn't be as close as it is.Just be mindful of the Chinese watch kiosk behind you when you start swinging that thing.

[Bugeater]

IIRC tbd is a retired military guy, he's not going to let a couple rent-a-cops keep him from carrying out his mission.

[Rain Man]

truebigdog may be able to make it through the crowd by pretending he's some sort of robot street busker with a big sword and clippers.

[Old Dog]

Add in that he has six seconds to study a weapon he's likely never seen before and you can only come to one conclusion. Dartgod is gonna have his head on display at a mall kiosk.

[The Franchise]

Add in that he has six seconds to study a weapon he's likely never seen before and you can only come to one conclusion. Dartgod is gonna have his head on display at a mall kiosk.

6 seconds plus 1700+ feet.

[Dartgod]

Add in that he has six seconds to study a weapon he's likely never seen before and you can only come to one conclusion. Dartgod is gonna have his head on display at a mall kiosk.
I'm pretty sure it will take me about 1.2 seconds to figure out that swinging the razor Sharp blades in the vicinity of your throat, while you are struggling to swing a sword that is MUCH heavier than you thought it could be, is the only edge I will need. They'll be calling you Ron Goldman when I am through with you.
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[Old Dog]

I'm pretty sure it will take me about 1.2 seconds to figure out that swinging the razor Sharp blades in the vicinity of your throat, while you are struggling to swing a sword that is MUCH heavier than you thought it could be, is the only edge I will need. They'll be calling you Ron Goldman when I am through with you.
Posted via Mobile Device

Nope....a "heavy" two handed sword weighs only about 4 1/2 to 6 pounds pounds. The only edge you're gonna get is this one upside your head.

[Dartgod]

Whatever, Pez dispenser.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rain Man]

This one's going to go down to the wire.

[Dartgod]

How much longer is this poll open? I need to drum up some votes.

Let's see, how can I pursuade voters? Oh, I got it!

Anyone who is in the gambling challenge this year will get a bonus $1000 if you vote for.me.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Rain Man]

How much longer is this poll open? I need to drum up some votes.

Let's see, how can I pursuade voters? Oh, I got it!

Anyone who is in the gambling challenge this year will get a bonus $1000 if you vote for.me.
Posted via Mobile Device

It's going to be closing pretty soon. You want to live, you need to convince more voters of the power of the scalpel bola.

[Bowser]

How much longer is this poll open? I need to drum up some votes.

Let's see, how can I pursuade voters? Oh, I got it!

Anyone who is in the gambling challenge this year will get a bonus $1000 if you vote for.me.
Posted via Mobile Device

I voted for you 8 times.

[Dartgod]

It's going to be closing pretty soon. You want to live, you need to convince more voters of the power of the scalpel bola.
Bribery is my best option now. And I have no casino cash.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Simply Red]

This one made me laugh the most, so far. FYI

[Dartgod]

Vote for Dartgod and you'll receive something very cool and extremely valuable In the mail next week!

Federal advertising laws prevent me from telling you exactly what you will get, but trust me. You will not be disappointed!
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[Steron]

truebigdog and the range. I think it would be easy to hurt yourself with that claw on a chain thing. I can see Dartgod hacking himself up with it instead of hitting his opponent.

[Dartgod]

You might have just missed out on a football autographed by the entire Super Bowl IV champion Kansas City Chiefs by not voting for me Steron.





Might have...
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[stevieray]

Vote for Dartgod and you'll receive something very cool and extremely valuable In the mail next week!

Federal advertising laws prevent me from telling you exactly what you will get, but trust me. You will not be disappointed!
Posted via Mobile Device

ok

[Rain Man]

Game over, and truebigdog then takes the autographed football down past the food court and sells it at the sports memorabilia store.