Tyler Thigpen, alleged d-bag

[Skyy God]

Last week, me and a couple friends go on vacation to Myrtle Beach. We go out our second night there after going through two or three bottles of wine at dinner and head over to the Broadway area to keep the night going. As I go up to the bar I meet this girl who was living there for the summer. She's very cute while her friend looks like Moby Dick put on bad lipstick, bad tattoos, and got beached along the shore.

As time goes on we start making out a little bit at the bar and keep knocking back shots. We march over to another bar in the area. By this point finger-banging has commenced and she tugged off buttons on my shirt and we begin talking about how she'll bring me home in ten minutes. Then everything goes to shit.

Within two minutes of being at the new place we walked into, she says she'll "be right back" and sprints away to <b>some guy in an Affliction shirt </b>and mardi gras beads. I have no idea who the guy is but he looks strangely familiar.

When the girl came back to me she says, "I gotta go." I ask who the guy is. She says "That's just Tyler. He texts me all the time and says he wants fuck me like crazy... but I'm NOT that kind of girl." After Googling it on my phone, it was indeed Coastal Carolina/locked out/Miami Dolphins mediocre quarterback Tyler Thigpen. I invite her back to my hotel. She says no, but maybe some other time. She then runs off again, and from about 50 yards out ten minutes later in the parking lot, I see her reaching second base with Tyler Thigpen.

I blame it all on the lockout. Thanks a lot Goodell, selfish prick.

http://deadspin.com/5819361/cockblocked-by-tyler-thigpen

[SuperChief]

Tyler Thigpen - blocking cocks since you were born.

[gblowfish]

I bet you were "Googling It" all alone later....

[Okie_Apparition]

Kristie?

[Okie_Apparition]

Besides, drinking two to three bottles of wine at dinner with the guys? Who's the real d-bag?

[DeezNutz]

Bet she looked like a skeleton.

[Sofa King]

Besides, drinking two to three bottles of wine at dinner with the guys? Who's the real d-bag?

That's what i was thinking.

[loochy]

Bet she looked like a skeleton.

Damn, beat me to it.

[Bump]

Women are whores, surprise!

[durtyrute]

He's a d bag cause she left you for him?

[loochy]

He's a d bag cause she left you for him?

No, it's because he wore an Affliction shirt.

[Brock]

He's a d bag cause she left you for him?

Affliction shirt and mardi gras beads.

[teedubya]

Dammit, Roger Goodell!!

[SuperChief]

The Affliction shirt was his nighty. That day he wore several polos, all collars popped.

Akin to this:

http://www.attusapparel.com/images/douche/large/d2.jpg

[BigMeatballDave]

Fuck that bitch.

[durtyrute]

No, it's because he wore an Affliction shirt.

I see, I never paid attention to the brand before but I get it now.

[rocknrolla]

Besides, drinking two to three bottles of wine at dinner with the guys? Who's the real d-bag?

This is my question. NEVER have I ever shared a bottle of wine with a guy.

[milkman]

I assume Affliction is a band.

[durtyrute]

This is my question. NEVER have I ever shared a bottle of wine with a guy.


ROFL

[mikey23545]

All I see is some butthurt loser who couldn't keep up with Tyler Thigpen.

Go cry yourself to sleep on the shoulder of one of your wine drinking buddies, d-bag...

[DMAC]

HAHA he fucked the fat chick

[loochy]

I assume Affliction is a band.

No, it's a brand of shirt. They have the stupid looking designs all over them and they cost like a million dollars. They are a close douche-cousin of Ed Hardy shirts. See the affliction shirt below:
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=34638,filename=chuckaffliction.jpg

It's no coincidence that a MMA fighter is modeling an Affliction shirt. MMA and douchebaggery are closely related.

[Phobia]

Affliction is like a tatoo on cotton. You can take it off when you get tired of it. I guess....

[SPATCH]

Thigpen would TOTALLY wear Affliction

[frankotank]

No, it's a brand of shirt. They have the stupid looking designs all over them and they cost like a million dollars. They are a close douche-cousin of Ed Hardy shirts. See the affliction shirt below:
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=34638,filename=chuckaffliction.jpg

It's no coincidence that a MMA fighter is modeling an Affliction shirt. MMA and douchebaggery are closely related.

hey what's wrong with MMA?? beats boxing all to hell. betcha wouldn't be so forthcoming in the presence of the Chuckster....

[DMAC]

hey what's wrong with MMA?? beats boxing all to hell. betcha wouldn't be so forthcoming in the presence of the Chuckster....

90% of all MMA fans are dooshbags.

[frankotank]

90% of all MMA fans are dooshbags.

whew......I squeaked in under the wire there!

[AndChiefs]

whew......I squeaked in under the wire there!

No one said that. :D

[frankotank]

90% of all MMA fans are dooshbags.

85% of those 90% (along with the cool 10%) can correctly spell douche bag though....

[DMAC]

85% of those 90% (along with the cool 10%) can correctly spell douche bag though....

I like to spell it that way. It more effectively captures the dooshery.

[frankotank]

I like to spell it that way. It more effectively captures the dooshery.

hmm.... I'm detecting deflective douche-isnostistity here. you know, the act of throwing douche-ish light elsewhere to distract others from the douche-ish aura surrounding oneself.... I gotta make a tough call here, but.....

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/29914_125526060809419_125525814142777_213779_5741418_n.jpg

[DMAC]

hmm. okay

[frankotank]

hmm. okay

oh come ON! that was some funny shit. I was laughing writing it. I crack me up! that was one freaking hard word to make up damn it...

[GoHuge]

I like to spell it that way. It more effectively captures the dooshery.I think that is still bad use of grammars.

[Hammock Parties]

What a whore.

She was going to fuck one guy, saw NFL money, decided to fuck it instead

[loochy]

What a whore.

She was going to fuck one guy, saw NFL money, decided to fuck it instead

There's nothing wrong with that. It's what I'd do if I was a chick.

[gblowfish]

Pittsie should have told the chick he's led the Chiefs to as many wins as Thiggy has...

[bevischief]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Hammock Parties]

There's nothing wrong with that. It's what I'd do if I was a chick.

It's a bitch move.

[Radar Chief]

hey what's wrong with MMA?? beats boxing all to hell. betcha wouldn't be so forthcoming in the presence of the Chuckster....

Pfft. I’ll bet I can run faster scared than he can pissed.

[loochy]

Pfft. I’ll bet I can run faster scared than he can pissed.

I just use a gun. Then I don't even have to run.

[Radar Chief]

Man code definition request: is “douche bag” a subset of “cock blocker”? Cause that’s more what it sounds like to me.

[loochy]

Man code definition request: is “douche bag” a subset of “cock blocker”? Cause that’s more what it sounds like to me.

I've always used it to refer to a guy that thinks he is really cool and acts in such a manner to remind everyone of it.

[loochy]

Man code definition request: is “douche bag” a subset of “cock blocker”? Cause that’s more what it sounds like to me.

He's douchebaggy because of the Affliction shirt, not because some chick likes him better than the loser that wrote the story.

[frankotank]

Man code definition request: is “douche bag” a subset of “cock blocker”? Cause that’s more what it sounds like to me.

perfect subject for a new thread.
CP How to be a Douche Bag rules.

It could play out like Jeff Foxworthy's catch phrase....

If you're wearing ski goggles at a night club.....you might be a douche bag.

[Earthling]

So Thigpen made a pass and then ran.....away with the girl. Too bad he wasn't that good when he was a Chief.

[Skyy God]

Pittsie should have told the chick he's led the Chiefs to as many wins as Thiggy has...

Pics or it didn't happen.

I hate to break it to you guys, but I'm just the messenger, not the author of the Deadspin email.

[Extra Point]

NFL cock-block-out.

We want to eliminate it in your lifetime.

(The guy posted a link. Give him a break!)

[milkman]

Pittsie should have told the chick he's led the Chiefs to as many wins as Thiggy has...

You're confusing your sorryass QBs.

[gblowfish]

I hate to break it to you guys, but I'm just the messenger, not the author of the Deadspin email.

Pittsie is cleared of all charges!

[Bwana]

It sounds like a jilted Nancy boy, with no game.

[Bill Brasky]

It sounds like a jilted Nancy boy, with no game.

I don't blame his game; I blame his crappy selection. He shouldn't have worked on a girl that was a jersey chaser, and then it wouldn't be a problem. Unless his game wasn't good enough to get anyone else....

[kysirsoze]

I don't think it's a cockblock if you get the girl. It's just having more game.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

No Sports Racer on this yet? I am disappoint.

[Brock]

It doesn't matter if you're big daddy and the guardian rolled into one package of awesome. You can't compete with the master of The Pistol.

[milkman]

I don't blame his game; I blame his crappy selection. He shouldn't have worked on a girl that was a jersey chaser, and then it wouldn't be a problem. Unless his game wasn't good enough to get anyone else....

So, when you approach a girl, do you ask if she's a jersey chaser?

How does that work?

[SAUTO]

I don't think it's a cockblock if you get the girl. It's just having more game.

This
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[ChiefsCountry]

I always thought a cockblock involved one of your own boys or another girl, not the guy with more game.

[cabletech94]

I hate to break it to you guys, but I'm just the messenger, not the author of the Deadspin email.

this was on nick wrongs show last week.

didn't really feel like doing a R......

i was too late to the thread.

good story though. really.