Gladiator Round 4, Match 2: CHENZ A! vs. Austinchief

[Rain Man]

This is a complex scenario that will likely require a detailed analysis.


CHENZ A!:

A batman-esque Penguin umbrella that shoots out sleep gas, If you can get within three feet.

No backup weapon

Special Factor: You're riding a Harley


Austinchief:


Heavy Bow and 6 Explosive-Tipped Arrows

Backup weapon: Nunchaku

Special Factor: Something happens (light bulb burns out, macaw flies by, etc.) that momentarily distracts your opponent as soon as you get within 5 feet of each other, assuming you ever get that close to your opponent.


Venue:


Hog Farmer's Pig Pen (hog farmer not present, pigs present)

Starting distance: 25 feet

[KurtCobain]

Well, it's official.

AustinChief is fucking Rainman.

[cdcox]

Well, that Harley is going to handle poorly in the mud, so driving it with one hand (the other holding the umbrella) is going to be tough. Throw in the distraction, and the fact that the bow would be very effective at 25 feet and I have to give this to Austin Chief by a wide margin.

[Rain Man]

I think I'd like CHENZ in this one if not for that macaw flying by. The harley would let him close ground fast, even in mud. However, as soon as he gets in range he's going to get distracted, and at that point he's in point blank range to get blown up. Gotta go austinchief on this one.

[Rain Man]

Well, it's official.

AustinChief is ****ing Rainman.



Honestly, I can't tell who's on the other side of that wall with the hole in it, so it doesn't make any difference.

[Otter]

On a side note: pulled pork sandwiches will be readily available after the match but Hogfarmer refuses to take any responsibility for any ingestion of CHENZ A. It's Sunday and he feels no need to separate meet products produced by explosive arrows.

[MagicHef]

CHENZ A! should just gun it and try to run over AustinChief as quickly as possible. I imagine he gets exploded before he gets there, though.

[Hammock Parties]

AustinChief MUST DIE!

But it is not this day.

[alnorth]

that harley normally would be useful in avoiding the arrows, but in a 25-foot pigpen its useless.

The distraction carries austinchief to victory.

[Bowser]

CHENZ A! guns the Harley in an attempt to run down AustinChief, knocks himself and the Harley sideways on a pig, skids through 25 feet of pig shit to the fence, where AustinChief promptly blows him up real good.

[Rain Man]

Game over. I have to stop this, because austinchief is now just hitting CHENZ A! with the nunchaku for no reason.

[CHENZ A!]

Nuts and bolts, nuts and bolts, I got screwed.

[Ebolapox]

Wait, doesn’t the macaw distract both, leaving Chenz the chance to sleep ac if he avoids arrows?