Our cat is murdering at an alarming rate

[lcarus]

Seriously, this big ass white cat we have basically lives outside. Seems the body count is growing and growing. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice. There was a squirrel bigger than the cat, one of those big red ones, laying in our driveway missing its head. At first it was no big deal and normal. Pretty funny actually. Now everywhere I turn, there's a new dead animal somewhere on my property. I know cats like to kill..but jesus christ. This is getting out of hand.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

From the director of The Birds and Forest Gump....

[Gonzo]

Murdercat Says,

You're Next, Motherfucker...

[MIAdragon]

paging MR. LiveSteam.....

[Jenson71]

Imagine what that cat would do to you if you had a heart attack. Your face would be gone in 20 minutes.

[vailpass]

Meow Mix + Antifreeze

[Donger]

Murdercat Says,

You're Next, Mother****er...

LMAO

[loochy]

Use this example when some stupid anti-war hippie whines and says "but animals don't go around killing each other."

[lcarus]

Hell if I was going to eliminate the cat I'd just shoot it. However I actually have grown to like this cat. He's nice to humans and he only comes in to eat and drink, then he's ready to go back outside on a killing spree. I just wish he'd learn to bury his prey or something.

[Frosty]

Our current two cats are retarded when it comes to hunting. They have been getting put out at night for the last two years and they only thing they've brought back is one slightly chewed on mouse that probably died of natural causes. The cats we had before these completely cleared our yard and the entire peach orchard that butts our property of pocket gophers.

[Frosty]

Hell if I was going to eliminate the cat I'd just shoot it. However I actually have grown to like this cat. He's nice to humans and he only comes in to eat and drink, then he's ready to go back outside on a killing spree. I just wish he'd learn to bury his prey or something.

Gopher guts on your porch are a sign of respect.

[Frankie]

Seriously, this big ass white cat we have basically lives outside. Seems the body count is growing and growing. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice. There was a squirrel bigger than the cat, one of those big red ones, laying in our driveway missing its head. At first it was no big deal and normal. Pretty funny actually. Now everywhere I turn, there's a new dead animal somewhere on my property. I know cats like to kill..but jesus christ. This is getting out of hand.

YOU HAVE A SERIAL KILLER AT HOME! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!

:D

[Buck]

Have you considered the possibility that some freak has been living in your tool shed and killing small animals, leaving the corpses behind as some kind of message?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Crush]

Hell if I was going to eliminate the cat I'd just shoot it. However I actually have grown to like this cat. He's nice to humans and he only comes in to eat and drink, then he's ready to go back outside on a killing spree. I just wish he'd learn to bury his prey or something.

I bet that cat has a special pile of dead bodies somewhere on your property.

[DJ's left nut]

Use this example when some stupid anti-war hippie whines and says "but animals don't go around killing each other."

But not with nuclear arms....

...you can't hug your child with nuclear arms.

[Sofa King]

Have you considered the possibility that some freak has been living in your tool shed and killing small animals, leaving the corpses behind as some kind of message?
Posted via Mobile Device

This.

Sounds like an angry neighbor.

Perhaps you should close the curtains to your bedroom when you fondle your wife.

[ModSocks]

But not with nuclear arms....

...you can't hug your child with nuclear arms.

Damnit...can't....place it......Ima get it...don't tell me.....

[MOhillbilly]

Huh, think im gonna go huntin for a bit.

[ModSocks]

You should put a sign up on your gate that says "Beware of Cat".

[lcarus]

This.

Sounds like an angry neighbor.

Perhaps you should close the curtains to your bedroom when you fondle your wife.

LMAO That would be far more interesting, but unfortunately I've been witness to the miniature king of the jungle murdering his prey. Just last night he was tossing around a bunny like a ragdoll. I just hope it wasn't the Cadbury bunny. I look forward to his eggs every year.

[DJ's left nut]

Damnit...can't....place it......Ima get it...don't tell me.....

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[ModSocks]

LMAO That would be far more interesting, but unfortunately I've been witness to the miniature king of the jungle murdering his prey. Just last night he was tossing around a bunny like a ragdoll. I just hope it wasn't the Cadbury bunny. I look forward to his eggs every year.

Why don't you just strap a hunting pack to him and take him out to the woods?

[ModSocks]

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/c7QhpJ3DWDA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Damnit! I shoulda known that one.

[tooge]

I found a headless rabbit sunday under my deck. Pretty big one too. Our cat is a wild one we feed to keep the barn mice down. Once in a while it offs a rabbit and leaves it for me to see by the door as if to say "don't ever try and fuck me bitch"

[lcarus]

I found a headless rabbit sunday under my deck. Pretty big one too. Our cat is a wild one we feed to keep the barn mice down. Once in a while it offs a rabbit and leaves it for me to see by the door as if to say "don't ever try and **** me bitch"

Haha, what's funny is when I saw the cat killing the rabbit, he didn't just kill it. He basically tortured it to death and then apparently ate its head. Also, cats must be really ****ing fast to be able to catch squirrels and rabbits and birds. Cause ya know...those animals are really ****ing fast too.

[Frazod]

I wouldn't complain about it. Better to have a homocidal cat than a bunch of fucking vermin all over the place.

[DJ's left nut]

Haha, what's funny is when I saw the cat killing the rabbit, he didn't just kill it. He basically tortured it to death and then apparently ate its head. Also, cats must be really ****ing fast to be able to catch squirrels and rabbits and birds. Cause ya know...those animals are really ****ing fast too.

I watched a barn cat eat a mouse once and it was fascinating.

He started head first and just crunched his way through it. It took him less than a minute and it was as if the mouse never existed.

Cats are freakin' killing machines, man.

[Sofa King]

Buy a bunch more cats, use the killer cat to train them and sell them as guard cats.

[ModSocks]

I'm pretty sure I've told the story of one my old cat's hunting prowess on here before. They're amazing hunters, that's for sure.

[Mr. Laz]

I wouldn't complain about it. Better to have a homocidal cat than a bunch of fucking vermin all over the place.
this

consider it a good thing ... just don't fall asleep in the same room with him.

my cat brings home the occasional rabbit and usually drops it at my feet like some kind of present. I rub him ears and tell him what a great kitty he is and declare him King Of The Jungle for the day. :D

[Okie_Apparition]

Stocking up for a brutal winters. Animals know mang, they know

[lcarus]

Stocking up for a brutal winters. Animals know mang, they know

You in Oklahoma too? We had a brutal winter and a brutal summer. Hope the winter is mild this year!

[Fish]

Cats can ninja when the situation calls for it...

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[LiveSteam]

Can I shake you cats Paw. Better yet can barrow said cat for a few weeks. Cat would love my neighborhood.

[Amnorix]

When a cat leaves you a dead smelly animal its a sign of love you idiot.




In case you don't know it's a Garfield quote, or close to it...

[NewChief]

Get your cat a GoPro and start youtubing that shit.

[Hydrae]

When things get tight financially we have to be careful about talking about it around one of our cats or the mice start showing up on the back porch. It is like he knows things are tough and he is trying to help support the family. ROFL

[Radar Chief]

Also, cats must be really ****ing fast to be able to catch squirrels and rabbits and birds.

Cats are ambush predators, they’re quicker than they are fast.

[loochy]

Cats are ambush predators, they’re quicker than they are fast.

like a mazda miata

[lcarus]

Get your cat a GoPro and start youtubing that shit.

That's actually a brilliant idea.

[listopencil]

The cat is sharing the kill with you. It took months to teach my cat to drop off the dead animals outside. He used to run in with them still alive and kill them at my feet. It didn't help that my kids would yell "Finish Him!", the cat developed a flair for the dramatic. It really is no big deal. Shoot, we found the head and sections of the body of a decent sized snake in our laundry room once. Pain in the ass to clean the blood off the linoleum.

[gblowfish]

He may be a "hit cat" for the Cat Mafia....

[Frankie]

I rub him ears and tell him what a great kitty he is and declare him King Of The Jungle for the day. :D

TONTO IS THAT YOU?!
:drool:

[loochy]

TONTO IS THAT YOU?!
:drool:

Is that your dad and your cat in your avatar?

[BWillie]

I'll be over right now, give you $50 for the cat. I need to get rid of some mice.

[Sucky]

Seriously, this big ass white cat we have basically lives outside. Seems the body count is growing and growing. Squirrels, rabbits, birds, mice. There was a squirrel bigger than the cat, one of those big red ones, laying in our driveway missing its head. At first it was no big deal and normal. Pretty funny actually. Now everywhere I turn, there's a new dead animal somewhere on my property. I know cats like to kill..but jesus christ. This is getting out of hand.

Wow lol. MY cat is the complete opposite. She gets scared of birds for heavens sake.

[bevischief]

I don't see a problem yet...

[CrazyPhuD]

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to make some squirrel gumbo.

[Backwards Masking]

My parents have a big fat all white male cat they inherited from an uncle. He's ferocious as all get out, he kills everything too. It seems like most all white male cats are huge, nature seems to give them extra size to make up for the fact that they're sitting ducks.

[Sassy Squatch]

http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php

This should help you.

[BillSelfsTrophycase]

Chuck Norris cat being himself



What's the problem again?

[WV]

You do realize he's just practicing for the bigger prize.................you!!

Cats do eat things head first, so for heavens sakes put a hat on your giant melon!

[Bwana]

That's all good, but tell him to stay away from eagles.

http://humour.200ok.com.au/img/demotivation-overconfidence.jpg

[Simply Red]

My girlfriend has a cat like this - his name is Morris (go figure) -- One time i was out in her garage taking a shed break. Morris was disturbed that i was standing where i was standing - i moved this crate he was staring at and there was a wounded Muskrat. The beheading of squirrels is another family favorite to witness - God he even killed a little bunny. He's been murdering for years, he DID get bit by a snake over the summer though and evidently pwned pretty hard.

[aturnis]

Is this your cat?

http://images.tzaam.com/full/uf.jpg

[Phobia]

He's nice to humans and he only comes in to eat and drink, then he's ready to go back outside on a killing spree. I just wish he'd learn to bury his prey or something.

Stop feeding the cat. He doesn't need your food. If he learns to eat what he catches then he'll only kill what he wants to eat.

Regards,

Cat Whisperer

[Al Bundy]

Next thing ya know your cat will be at some bar, with some football players and put his paw up some chicks skirt.

[Phobia]

Next thing ya know your cat will be at some bar, with some football players and put his paw up some chicks skirt.

I'm going to be on my deathbed in 30 years and ChiefsPlanet n00bs are still going to be cracking me about this.

[Frazod]

I'm going to be on my deathbed in 30 years and ChiefsPlanet n00bs are still going to be cracking me about this.

Shoot up your kitchen and post about it. That should deflect some of the heat.

[lcarus]

Also, just wanted to add - my brother and I wanted to give our cat and my brothers wifes cat human names. The white murderous cat we named Bill and the other small female cat is named Beverly. So you can imagine what strangers thought when they overheard me telling my brother "Yeah you should have seen Bill today. He went apeshit on a bunny in the driveway and bit its head off. Then Beverly walked over and started licking the blood off the pavement."

[RealSNR]

I'm going to be on my deathbed in 30 years and ChiefsPlanet n00bs are still going to be cracking me about this.And this time you can't deflect with narc jokes.

There will be no escape this time

[RealSNR]

Also, just wanted to add - my brother and I wanted to give our cat and my brothers wifes cat human names. The white murderous cat we named Bill and the other small female cat is named Beverly. So you can imagine what strangers thought when they overheard me telling my brother "Yeah you should have seen Bill today. He went apeshit on a bunny in the driveway and bit its head off. Then Beverly walked over and started licking the blood off the pavement."If I ever become a standup comedian, I want to tell this joke that involves naming my pet dog/cat "Buttsex." So that way I can say stuff like, "I gave Buttsex to my neighbor when I was on vacation." Or "Kids love Buttsex."

[lcarus]

If I ever become a standup comedian, I want to tell this joke that involves naming my pet dog/cat "Buttsex." So that way I can say stuff like, "I gave Buttsex to my neighbor when I was on vacation." Or "Kids love Buttsex."

Lol, that's pretty good. You can add "I had to clean a giant hairball from Buttsex off the f***ing couch today."

[RealSNR]

Lol, that's pretty good. You can add "I had to clean a giant hairball from Buttsex off the f***ing couch today."I bought Buttsex from a 16-year old pet shop employee

[cdcox]

My parent's have a cat that in its prime was extremely athletic. Very long and lanky. He'd hear a locust on the roof of the house and jump 8' straight from the deck to the roof and track it down. That was an appetizer. On to the main course. He could run down a rabbit in the yard in broad daylight with no cover. He'd then lay out in the yard and eat the whole thing except the organs. He won't back down from a fight either. Just an amazing specimen.

[lcarus]

My parent's have a cat that in its prime was extremely athletic. Very long and lanky. He'd hear a locust on the roof of the house and jump 8' straight from the deck to the roof and track it down. That was an appetizer. On to the main course. He could run down a rabbit in the yard in broad daylight with no cover. He'd then lay out in the yard and eat the whole thing except the organs. He won't back down from a fight either. Just an amazing specimen.

Yeah they are. I've always been a dog guy. Never really cared about cats at all. But with this guy, I'll admit it will be pretty sad for me if he ever gets run over by a FedEx truck or something.

[TimeForWasp]

Honey, remember to keep buttsex inside while I'm gone.

[SDChiefs]

Murdercat don't give a shit. Murdercat takes what he wants.

[CrazyPhuD]

So has he brought you breakfast yet?

[Radar Chief]

Murdercat don't give a shit. Murdercat takes what he wants.

http://i55.tinypic.com/2mmclso.gif

[Amnorix]

Yeah, cats....even alligators run from them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0

[Amnorix]

Oh, and this one -- cat owns snake. Looks like a rattler to me, but I won't say for sure since I dont' know for sure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEZMctgaXNQ&feature=grec_index

[Amnorix]

Can someone remind me how to embed a *$%^# video? I know I click on the "share" thing on Youtube and copy the url that's there. And I copy that into here, but I'm clearly screwing something up over here. That's why I just posted links. Would be far better to embed, obviously.

*sigh*

[Radar Chief]

Can someone remind me how to embed a *$%^# video? I know I click on the "share" thing on Youtube and copy the url that's there. And I copy that into here, but I'm clearly screwing something up over here. That's why I just posted links. Would be far better to embed, obviously.

*sigh*

Look below the URL and there’s another button that says, “Embed”. Click on that and it gives you the embed link.

[Amnorix]

Look below the URL and there’s another button that says, “Embed”. Click on that and it gives you the embed link.

Got it. Thanks.

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[gblowfish]

Kitty wanna make a sammich!!

[loochy]

Got it. Thanks.

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haha cats are funny

[Rain Man]

Yeah, cats....even alligators run from them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sAF8gMN9c0


I love cats, but it seems like the gators were the only living things in that thread who weren't carrying a big ol' bag of stupid.

[OnTheWarpath15]

Kitty wanna make a sammich!!

Arkansas Kitty.

Inbred.

[Skyy God]

Now I want a Murdercat for MY house.

[Trevo_410]

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[Radar Chief]

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I'd feed that little fucker to my dog.

[MOhillbilly]

Id boot that cat to the motherfuckin moon.

[MOhillbilly]

I'd feed that little ****er to my dog.

Id throw the fucker in the river at night. Fuckin devils famaliars.

[Radar Chief]

Id throw the ****er in the river at night. ****in devils famaliars.

Australians got it right, they shoot feral cats on sight.