the sd kicker who peed on TV reminds me of that book...

[Carlota69]

Was z about football and all the stuff that happens during s game including players peeing into towels. I read about here on CP bit can't remember the name of the book. Anyone remember?
Sorry about typos...on my phone...

[MOhillbilly]

Drugs are badmmmk

[cabletech94]

Drugs are badmmmk

ha ha!!!
only users lose drugs!!!
i'ma gonna go pee in a towel now!

[Bugeater]

I always assumed there was a bathroom close to the sideline. :shrug:

[DaveNull]

That's nothing. Lets not forget that George Brett shits himself twice a year.

[Carlota69]

I always assumed there was a bathroom close to the sideline. :shrug:

That's what I thought too til I read excerpts from a book written by a player on this website. It also talked about all the nasty things that happen in a dogpile.

[Chiefnj2]

Today, mongrels, we're excerpting from Anthony Gargano's tremendous NFL Unplugged, which offers a ruthlessly entertaining portrait of the NFL. It has all the lawlessness, the poop, the broken fingers, the organized insanity that the league would prefer you not know about.

There isn't one section of the book that couldn't be included on this site, but here are a couple that will, hopefully, give you an idea of what to expect if/when you choose to buy it. Enjoy.

****

"Preparation"

"You'll be somewhat fine and then all of a sudden you get that two-minute warning until game time," kicker David Akers said. "Out of nowhere it feels like you have to take a huge dump. It's the anxiety. You think about the people watching, the possibility of you letting your team down. So many things go through your mind. It's why Pepto-Bismol is so popular before the game. I take it all the time."

"Before the game," longtime quarterback Jeff Garcia said, "I have to continuously pee. The fluids go through you at such a fast rate."

"Yeah," agreed cornerback Rod Hood, "you see a lot of guys throwing up, but it's like two minutes before the game I gotta pee again. And then again. I'm constantly going back and forth between my locker and the bathroom. I know a lot of guys that pee themselves on the field and on the sidelines. That was never me, though. That's nasty. I would be in that tent pissing in empty bottles all game long, though."

Mark Schlereth's nickname is Stink, which is short for Stinkman, which came from a dish the Eskimos of southwest Alaska would eat called "stinkhead." One day, Schlereth, a native Alaskan, is regaling his teammates with stories about stinkhead. How it's made from the whole head of a king salmon, which is somewhat larger than a football, and how it's prepared by wrapping the head in the long grasses that grow along the rivers and streams and burying it in a moss-lined pit in the ground for four to six weeks, where it rots. Just rots, with the bones softening up until the whole head has a consistency similar to mashed potatoes. The Eskimos then dig up the fish head — and presumably hold their nose because the smell is absolutely rancid — and eat it.

"I was telling them about stinkhead the meal and it just so happened I regularly peed my pants," Schlereth said. "Pretty much every game I did. I was already drenched in sweat so it was no real difference to me. So later the nickname got shortened to just Stink. Hey — I was miserable anyhow out on the field, I wasn't going to hold it in and become even more miserable."

Garcia said, "I've been on the field and had to go underneath the stands or figure out a way to take a leak. For a fact, it became a problem because it was affecting the way I threw the ball. I've always said there needs to be a Porta Potty for guys on the sidelines who can't leave the field."

Think about it. For players with a nervous bladder, they can't keep going back to the locker room, especially if it's a longer walk. So what's a player with a nervous bladder to do? Kevin Donnelly, formerly of the Titans, had a unique solution.

"He used to piss right there on the sidelines," a former teammate said. "He'd sit on the bench and stuff a towel down his pants. Piss in the towel. Then throw it away. Back in Houston, at the Astrodome, it was a quarter-mile walk to get back to the bathroom. So you can't keep going back and forth. It actually works. You cram it down your pants and just go.

"Koy Detmer used to piss in a bottle in the ice shanty right on the field. Everybody gets it. Nervous bladder. It's just like anything else. As soon as you start to do something you have to go to the bathroom."

Said Garcia, "My first year in the league, I tried the towel thing. It was in a preseason game. Second half. I figured, ‘Well, I'll try it with a towel. Just pee into the towel.' I had to go pretty bad. As soon as I felt the warm pee touch my leg, I shut it down. I said, ‘I can't do this.' It's just nasty. I couldn't follow through with it. Players try all sorts of tricks to relieve themselves out there. My teammate in Tampa would just pee his pants and say it's not going to make a difference because of all the sweat."

Former fullback Jon Ritchie agreed with Garcia's teammate. "You're drenched in sweat anyway," he said. "What does it matter? By the time warm-ups are over, you're overhydrating and you're drenched. It's clear. It's not urine. What's the big deal?"

[Carlota69]

That's the book. Thank you. When I saw the video of Novak I thought so what

[chefsos]

Holy shit it would be awesome if equipment guys were somehow able to put that pool chemical that turns blue into game pants.