So a Kansas farmer dies and goes to hell...

[petegz28]

A Kansas farmer dies and goes to hell. After being there a couple days the Devil asks the farmer how he likes the heat? The farmer says to the Devil, "You don't understand, Devil. I'm from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in June?"

The Devil gets pissed and cranks up the heat the next day and asks the farmer what he thought about the heat now? The farmer said "You don't get it, Devil. I'm from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in July?"

The Devil gets even more pissed and cranks the heat up some more. He goes back to the farmer and says "now what do you think of this heat?" The farmer says "You sure are stupid. I told you, I'm, from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in August?"

Now the Devil is irate and figures he will fix the farmer but good. So the Devil turns the AC up as high as it will go. Frostcicles are hanging all over the place, it's so cold. So the Devil asks the farmer, "well, now what do you think of this cold?" The farmer says, "Holy shit! The Chiefs won the Super Bowl!!!"




yuk, yuk, yuk

[ShowtimeSBMVP]

LMAO

[Shogun]

rofl

[gblowfish]

I thought this thread was going to be about Don Fambrough....

[Buck]

Strange white substance

[Okie_Apparition]

Is raising praire dogs for target practice really farming

[rageeumr]

Q

[Saulbadguy]

That's great, but who are the Chefs?

[MOhillbilly]

Who the Fuck calls em 'frostcicles'?

[Dartgod]

The Chiefs don't beat anybody.

[LiveSteam]

Awesome

[DuhChiefs]

It's too bad it's true :(

[Rain Man]

Theological discussions really should be in DC and not the main lounge.

[WV]

Three dogs sitting in the waiting room at the vet's. The Black Lab turned to the yellow Lab and said "So why are you here ?"The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in my owner's bed."The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?""Gonna cut my nuts off.Theyreckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab turned to the Black Lab and asked "Why are you here?"The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line when I dug a hole in my owners' couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired."Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged glancesand said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

[listopencil]

Three dogs sitting in the waiting room at the vet's. The Black Lab turned to the yellow Lab and said "So why are you here ?"The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in my owner's bed."The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?""Gonna cut my nuts off.Theyreckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab turned to the Black Lab and asked "Why are you here?"The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line when I dug a hole in my owners' couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired."Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged glancesand said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"


I'm stealing that.

[listopencil]

NSFW


So this guy goes duck hunting every year. And every year his wife nags him to come along, then backs out at the last minute after he's packed enough gear for the both of them. Duck season comes up and she starts in again. He talks to her, first persuading then arguing. After a long and stressful argument he gives in once again and packs the gear for both of them in the old Ford.

The day arrives and he goes to wake up his wife at three AM (which was exactly according to the plan she had agreed to) and she starts to beg off. She complains that it's too early and tells him she's not going even after their stressful argument and his eventual capitulation. This makes him absolutely livid.

He begins to rage in the bedroom. He screams and yells, and tells her that she might as well start packing up her own stuff and looking for a new place to live, because she's gone too far. Enough is enough. She placates him. Attempts to soothe him, promises him anything. She'll do whatever he wants to make him happy but she just doesn't want to go.

At this point he calms down. He tells her that he'd like some anal or oral sex before he leaves for the weekend, if she really wants to do anything to make him happy before he leaves. She brushes off the idea of anal sex but says she'll give him oral if that will make him happy. She draws him closer and begins to uncover him. She moves herself into position. Suddenly, she draws back in disgust.

"God, Honey. You're dick smells like shit!" she says. "I know," replies her husband, "...the dog didn't want to go either."

[Pitt Gorilla]

I thought this thread was going to be about Don Fambrough..../thread

[RealSNR]

A man enters his son's room and catches his son zipping up really quickly as his dad walks in. The man goes, "Son, if you keep masturbating, you'll go blind!" The son goes, "I'm over here, dad."

[FAX]

So ... this one time ...

There was this young Chinese boy who was experiencing great difficulty in attracting girls, so his mother, being a traditional Chinese, decided to take him to the neighborhood Chinese doctor.

When they arrived, the doctor instructed the boy to undress and stand in the middle of the room under a bright light. The doctor then stood behind him and told him to bend forward and place his head between his legs.

"Ah," exclaimed the physician. "This bad. Real bad. This boy here have Zachary Disease!"

"May Confucius drop a loaf!" exclaimed the mother. "Zachary Disease? He has Zachary Disease?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "his face look zachary like his bum."

FAX

[Buck]

Three dogs sitting in the waiting room at the vet's. The Black Lab turned to the yellow Lab and said "So why are you here ?"The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in my owner's bed."The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?""Gonna cut my nuts off.Theyreckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab turned to the Black Lab and asked "Why are you here?"The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line when I dug a hole in my owners' couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired."Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?" "I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged glancesand said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

I heard this the other day. Last Saturday to be exact. Were you in San Diego?

[Radar Chief]

So ... this one time ...

There was this young Chinese boy who was experiencing great difficulty in attracting girls, so his mother, being a traditional Chinese, decided to take him to the neighborhood Chinese doctor.

When they arrived, the doctor instructed the boy to undress and stand in the middle of the room under a bright light. The doctor then stood behind him and told him to bend forward and place his head between his legs.

"Ah," exclaimed the physician. "This bad. Real bad. This boy here have Zachary Disease!"

"May Confucius drop a loaf!" exclaimed the mother. "Zachary Disease? He has Zachary Disease?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "his face look zachary like his bum."

FAX

Did you know that 80% of Japanese doctors have cataracts?
Yea, the other 20% drive rincolns.

http://i42.tinypic.com/21ah2pv.gif

[Dartgod]

Wrecked him, hell! It damn near killed him!

[BoneKrusher]

A Kansas farmer dies and goes to hell. After being there a couple days the Devil asks the farmer how he likes the heat? The farmer says to the Devil, "You don't understand, Devil. I'm from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in June?"

The Devil gets pissed and cranks up the heat the next day and asks the farmer what he thought about the heat now? The farmer said "You don't get it, Devil. I'm from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in July?"

The Devil gets even more pissed and cranks the heat up some more. He goes back to the farmer and says "now what do you think of this heat?" The farmer says "You sure are stupid. I told you, I'm, from Kansas. Haven't you ever been to Kansas in August?"

Now the Devil is irate and figures he will fix the farmer but good. So the Devil turns the AC up as high as it will go. Frostcicles are hanging all over the place, it's so cold. So the Devil asks the farmer, "well, now what do you think of this cold?" The farmer says, "Holy shit! The Chiefs won the Super Bowl!!!"




yuk, yuk, yuk

LMAO Hell froze over A.

[Fire Me Boy!]

The Aristocrats!