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View Full Version : Life Describe the nicest bathroom you ever pooped in


RealSNR
04-03-2012, 09:31 PM
If possible, talk about the bathroom's aesthete. What about the environment made your pooping experience pleasant? Was it a public or private bathroom? Did the toilet itself factor into the niceness? Did it smell nice? Would you say the comfort of the room/environment improved your pooping?

keg in kc
04-03-2012, 09:32 PM
I told my girlfriend it was a water fountain. She believed me.

rico
04-03-2012, 09:37 PM
My grandma's bathroom. I could spend hours in there taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. I don't know what it was about it... the toilet seat was solid, it wasn't overly neat....it smelled good, I guess. I just remember looking at the white and blue flowered wallpaper as a kid thinking to myself, "this is the best place in the world to take a dump." I'll never take another dump there again!! :deevee::deevee::deevee:

loochy
04-03-2012, 09:37 PM
We were touring this mansion that my cousin's friend was trying to sell (she is a realtor). I had to go, so I pooped in the bathroom of an awesome adobe mansion in Taos, NM. :D

RealSNR
04-03-2012, 09:38 PM
For me, it's definitely my aunt and uncle's bathroom. It was a 2nd floor bathroom with sky lighting that looked up into the upper branches of the oak trees that grew over their house. The natural light really brightened up the room naturally, and you rarely had to turn on the light switch to use the bathroom during the day. Sometimes you could even poop at night with just the moonlight.

The walls were a soft gray with marble tile floors. The sink was in kind of its own separate stall with a teal tile backsplash bordering the mirror. Since there was no shower in that bathroom, the toilet was in a wide open space, and you didn't feel crowded at all. Some nice rubber tree plants in the corners, and a flower sill on the far wall on the far side of the toilet gave you plenty of pleasing, beautiful things to look at in addition to the skylighting.

I was only ever in that house four times, and I only got to poop in there on three occasions. The bathroom really was a part of a fond childhood memory that I really miss. One of these days I'll be able to spend money on a bathroom remodeling, and I'm going to definitely fashion it after my aunt and uncle's bathroom.

Kyle DeLexus
04-03-2012, 09:43 PM
Gordon Street? Yes Gordon Street. I once took a poop in a bathroom on Gordon Street. Long time ago, when I was a young man. Not a day passes that I don't think of that poop and the promise I made that I will always keep. That one perfect poop on Gordon Street.

Jewish Rabbi
04-03-2012, 09:45 PM
Psh... Nzoner has a crystal plunger, for Christ's sake. Doesn't get any nicer than that.

dmahurin
04-03-2012, 09:48 PM
http://thailandlandofsmiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/toilet_800x600.jpg

This looks just like one of the worst ones I've ever used.

Gonzo
04-03-2012, 09:50 PM
I was on a business trip to Denver a few years ago, (im sure some of you recall this) and I went to the new mile high. I had to use the squat and we were up in the executive office. I took the opportunity to piss all over the stall and on the toilet paper dispenser. (brass if I recall).
There were several hundred of us there so no way they could trace it back to me.

They also had a hand painted mural of elway. I wiped a huge bloody nose goober right on the middle of that mother fucker.

I'm still proud of that.

Canofbier
04-03-2012, 09:53 PM
Oh, man - it was perfect. Framed with gold, the seat was soft and heated. I had seen and envied it for a while before first using it, which made the experience all the sweeter.










Needless to say, she wasn't too pleased that I shat on her face.

lewdog
04-03-2012, 09:53 PM
I was on a business trip to Denver a few years ago, (im sure some of you recall this) and I went to the new mile high. I had to use the squat and we were up in the executive office. I took the opportunity to piss all over the stall and on the toilet paper dispenser. (brass if I recall).
There were several hundred of us there so no way they could trace it back to me.

They also had a hand painted mural of elway. I wiped a huge bloody nose goober right on the middle of that mother ****er.

I'm still proud of that.

ROFL

So damn awesome!

Tombstone RJ
04-03-2012, 10:00 PM
I was on a business trip to Denver a few years ago, (im sure some of you recall this) and I went to the new mile high. I had to use the squat and we were up in the executive office. I took the opportunity to piss all over the stall and on the toilet paper dispenser. (brass if I recall).
There were several hundred of us there so no way they could trace it back to me.

They also had a hand painted mural of elway. I wiped a huge bloody nose goober right on the middle of that mother ****er.

I'm still proud of that.

and yet you're still a loser... suck it chefs fan.

LiveSteam
04-03-2012, 10:35 PM
I dated a girl from Cleveland

Simply Red
04-03-2012, 10:41 PM
My GrandMothers' in Carthage near the old walmart and airport, it had about four windows in it, it was naturally illuminated. A good quiet, retro poop. She had matches for optimum air freshning.

It was 1988, I had a Tony Hawk mini, we railslid!

TinyEvel
04-03-2012, 11:22 PM
Psh... Nzoner has a crystal plunger, for Christ's sake. Doesn't get any nicer than that.

Forged by druids!

(he also has a phone next to his toilet, so you can order another pizza as the last one's going out.)

Hammock Parties
04-03-2012, 11:23 PM
Probably the bathroom at Northpark Mall in Dallas. Exquisite. Fit for royalty.

boogblaster
04-03-2012, 11:26 PM
it was tin painted red with yellow letters .. a mountain scene in background .. bout the size of a gallon can .. said folgers on it .. smelt like coffee too .....

Pitt Gorilla
04-04-2012, 12:17 AM
Not the best, but I went under/inside the Lincoln Memorial.

RealSNR
04-04-2012, 08:05 AM
Probably the bathroom at Northpark Mall in Dallas. Exquisite. Fit for royalty.I've always thought that a good public bathroom is a way for me to keep coming back to a business.

All the restaurants I normally go to are the ones with clean bathrooms. Bonus points if they're stylishly decorated and EXTRA bonus points if they have those new-fangled hand driers that practically blow the skin right off your hands.

Mr. Flopnuts
04-04-2012, 08:09 AM
There is a Japanese fiddle player in Branson named Shoji Tabuchi that has golden toilets and a nice pool table in the Loo inside of his theatre. You can't beat that.

Simply Red
04-04-2012, 08:13 AM
There is a Japanese fiddle player in Branson named Shoji Tabuchi that has golden toilets and a nice pool table in the Loo inside of his theatre. You can't beat that.

did you blow mud there?

loochy
04-04-2012, 08:14 AM
I've always thought that a good public bathroom is a way for me to keep coming back to a business.

All the restaurants I normally go to are the ones with clean bathrooms. Bonus points if they're stylishly decorated and EXTRA bonus points if they have those new-fangled hand driers that practically blow the skin right off your hands.

I always poop at Costco before my soccer games on Monday afternoons. I leave directly from work without going home and I don't want to use the terrible stinky bathrooms at work that the old engineers blow up every day. Costco bathrooms are consistently sparkly and odor free (at least until I go in there).

seclark
04-04-2012, 08:18 AM
several years ago. got hit with a pain at a little get-together at the missouri governor's mansion. wasn't very enjoyable, though...some bastard kept beating on the door saying his kid "had to use the facilities". :rolleyes:

i left it floating for him.
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BoneKrusher
04-04-2012, 08:18 AM
love the outdoors so i'd say The Appalachians.
just gotta be careful not to grab the poison ivy.

loochy
04-04-2012, 08:24 AM
love the outdoors so i'd say The Appalachians.
just gotta be careful not to grab the poison ivy.

Heh.

That reminds me of one time when I went hiking in the mountains in New Mexico. It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was pretty bored, so I just decided to drive up the canyon and start walking. About 30 minutes in it started snowing (the first snow of the season). Well, after about 2 hours, the urge from the previous day's feast hit me. I tried to hold it, but that doesn't work well when walking up and down mountains. The area I was in had no deciduous trees - there were only pine trees and cedars, which means NO LEAVES. I had to go soooo bad. I finally found a small log to sit on and hang over and I had to wipe myself using my stocking cap. :( My head was pretty cold and wet on the 2 hour journey back and I think I smelled pretty bad because the stocking cap didn't do a very good job of cleaning me.

Frazod
04-04-2012, 08:27 AM
My old company put me up at a Midtown Manhattan hotel while I worked out of their New York office for a couple of weeks. Had a suite that cost $450 a night back in the 90s - God only knows what it would go for today. Huge bathroom, marble everything, huge jacuzzi tub. It rocked.

BoneKrusher
04-04-2012, 08:27 AM
Heh.

That reminds me of one time when I went hiking in the mountains in New Mexico. It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was pretty bored, so I just decided to drive up the canyon and start walking. About 30 minutes in it started snowing (the first snow of the season). Well, after about 2 hours, the urge from the previous day's feast hit me. I tried to hold it, but that doesn't work well when walking up and down mountains. The area I was in had no deciduous trees - there were only pine trees and cedars, which means NO LEAVES. I had to go soooo bad. I finally found a small log to sit on and hang over and I had to wipe myself using my stocking cap. :( My head was pretty cold and wet on the 2 hour journey back and I think I smelled pretty bad because the stocking cap didn't do a very good job of cleaning me.

cool story, i love Nature.

lcarus
04-04-2012, 08:35 AM
Has anyone ever used a toilet with a bidet? Seems ideal, but it seems it would just...muddy things up in some cases.

ChiTown
04-04-2012, 08:37 AM
Heh.

That reminds me of one time when I went hiking in the mountains in New Mexico. It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was pretty bored, so I just decided to drive up the canyon and start walking. About 30 minutes in it started snowing (the first snow of the season). Well, after about 2 hours, the urge from the previous day's feast hit me. I tried to hold it, but that doesn't work well when walking up and down mountains. The area I was in had no deciduous trees - there were only pine trees and cedars, which means NO LEAVES. I had to go soooo bad. I finally found a small log to sit on and hang over and I had to wipe myself using my stocking cap. :( My head was pretty cold and wet on the 2 hour journey back and I think I smelled pretty bad because the stocking cap didn't do a very good job of cleaning me.

ROFL - stocking cap? You couldn't find a small bunny or muskrat to wipe with? ROFL

Ugly Duck
04-04-2012, 08:41 AM
I crapped in the stateroom head of a yacht owned by Philippines dictators Ferdinand & Imelda Marcos (the lady with 3,000 pairs of shoes). The fixtures were solid gold. It was a good crap. Gold seems to bring out the best in defecation.

loochy
04-04-2012, 08:42 AM
ROFL - stocking cap? You couldn't find a small bunny or muskrat to wipe with? ROFL

Dude do you really think I could catch an animal while I'm waddling around clinching by butt together to try to hold it?

Rain Man
04-04-2012, 08:48 AM
cool story, i love Nature.

Have you ever gone out hiking and found something cool, like a stocking cap?

loochy
04-04-2012, 08:56 AM
Have you ever gone out hiking and found something cool, like a stocking cap?

I rolled a large rock on top of the poop/stocking cap pile

Bambi
04-04-2012, 09:12 AM
Supreme Court Building in Washington DC.

It was exquisite in it's ole tyme charm and smelled of nice worn mahogany.

Should go back there one day.

loochy
04-04-2012, 09:15 AM
Supreme Court Building in Washington DC.

It was exquisite in it's ole tyme charm and smelled of nice worn mahogany.

Should go back there one day.

That explains the 9 major turds that reside there

BoneKrusher
04-04-2012, 09:18 AM
Have you ever gone out hiking and found something cool, like a stocking cap?

good one. ROFL

Dayze
04-04-2012, 12:51 PM
lol...stocking cap. awesome.

RealSNR
04-04-2012, 01:09 PM
did you blow mud there?Hold on, there's a poop/billiards joke somewhere. I just need some time.

Give me the rest of the day and let me think on it. I'll come up with something by tonight.

shitgoose
04-04-2012, 01:22 PM
Has anyone ever used a toilet with a bidet? Seems ideal, but it seems it would just...muddy things up in some cases.

Ya, I found it to be very weird but somewhat refreshing at the same time

KevB
04-04-2012, 01:26 PM
My 5 year old once pooped in a bathroom in the White House, just off the South Lawn. Not a public bathroom....very nice. My wife went with her and said the paper towels to wipe your hands after washing up were nicer than our towels at home. My daughter came back outside and said, "Daddy, guess what?! I pooped in the White House!".

chasedude
04-04-2012, 01:37 PM
Went to see Shoji Tabuchi @ Branson once. Took a dump in his million dollar bathroom then played some billards in the same bathroom.

Edit: Here's a pic of the pool table inside the bathroom.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/nwitimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/a/c3/ac38ad3a-ea45-548c-9d0a-e6caf0525aef/4e3aabc546eb4.image.jpg

loochy
04-04-2012, 01:45 PM
I pooped in Lindsay Lohan's house once. /Dane

chasedude
04-04-2012, 01:45 PM
There is a Japanese fiddle player in Branson named Shoji Tabuchi that has golden toilets and a nice pool table in the Loo inside of his theatre. You can't beat that.

Damn, just saw your post after I posted :#

Mr. Flopnuts
04-04-2012, 02:05 PM
did you blow mud there?

Hell yeah, B! That shit was GOLDEN too!

Mr. Flopnuts
04-04-2012, 02:06 PM
Damn, just saw your post after I posted :#

Your picture does the whole thing some justice. That's a fucking commode!

chasedude
04-04-2012, 02:39 PM
Your picture does the whole thing some justice. That's a fucking commode!

I remember the bathroom attendant chasing off the women when they wandered in to check out the pool room. He'd tell them, Sorry men only. :D

Rain Man
04-04-2012, 02:41 PM
I don't have a particularly exquisite experience that comes to mind, but I can say one thing for sure. The nicest bathroom I've ever used certainly did not come with a bathroom attendant. There's nothing worse than going into a bathroom and seeing some guy there hovering over the paper towels with a glass full of dollar bills on the counter.

Seriously, if I'm in a restaurant and they have a bathroom attendant, I will never ever go to that restaurant again. It annoys me to no end.

seclark
04-04-2012, 02:43 PM
I don't have a particularly exquisite experience that comes to mind, but I can say one thing for sure. The nicest bathroom I've ever used certainly did not come with a bathroom attendant. There's nothing worse than going into a bathroom and seeing some guy there hovering over the paper towels with a glass full of dollar bills on the counter.

Seriously, if I'm in a restaurant and they have a bathroom attendant, I will never ever go to that restaurant again. It annoys me to no end.

i wonder about those mints the attendants have too. i don't eat anything that comes from a shitter.
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Pennywise
04-04-2012, 02:54 PM
I don't have a particularly exquisite experience that comes to mind, but I can say one thing for sure. The nicest bathroom I've ever used certainly did not come with a bathroom attendant. There's nothing worse than going into a bathroom and seeing some guy there hovering over the paper towels with a glass full of dollar bills on the counter.

Seriously, if I'm in a restaurant and they have a bathroom attendant, I will never ever go to that restaurant again. It annoys me to no end.

A couple of extra bucks gets you a 'handy'.

seclark
04-04-2012, 02:57 PM
A couple of extra bucks gets you a 'handy'.

sounds like your thumb is back to normal, bud!:D
nice to see ya!
sec

DaFace
04-04-2012, 02:57 PM
It's not THAT special, but I've always been impressed with the hidden gem that is the restroom in the main terminal at DIA.

Frazod
04-04-2012, 02:57 PM
One thing I miss is full sized, to the floor urinals. Used to be the norm - now you have to be in a really old building that hasn't been remodeled. Haven't seen one in years.

Stewie
04-04-2012, 02:59 PM
Went to see Shoji Tabuchi @ Branson once. Took a dump in his million dollar bathroom then played some billards in the same bathroom.

Edit: Here's a pic of the pool table inside the bathroom.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/nwitimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/a/c3/ac38ad3a-ea45-548c-9d0a-e6caf0525aef/4e3aabc546eb4.image.jpg

Are you allowed to poop in the pockets and wipe your ass with the tassels?

Donger
04-04-2012, 07:32 PM
I stayed on the top floor of the Bellagio once. The bathroom was larger than my apartment (at the time). I also freaked out and called security when I came back from dinner and someone had "messed with my bed!"

"Errr, Mr. Donger, we call that 'turn-down service.'"

RealSNR
04-04-2012, 10:36 PM
Went to see Shoji Tabuchi @ Branson once. Took a dump in his million dollar bathroom then played some billards in the same bathroom.

Edit: Here's a pic of the pool table inside the bathroom.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/nwitimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/a/c3/ac38ad3a-ea45-548c-9d0a-e6caf0525aef/4e3aabc546eb4.image.jpgBOOM! Got a joke:

"Corner pocket's full. Try a bank shot into some place else"

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxqfm81wwn1rn7xdyo1_500.jpg

Simply Red
04-04-2012, 10:54 PM
i will literally shit anywhere, if i have to bad enough.

chasedude
04-05-2012, 12:31 AM
Are you allowed to poop in the pockets and wipe your ass with the tassels?

Not sure about that, but if you give the attendant enough of a tip he might come in and wipe for you :bolt:

chasedude
04-05-2012, 12:32 AM
BOOM! Got a joke:

"Corner pocket's full. Try a bank shot into some place else"

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxqfm81wwn1rn7xdyo1_500.jpg

I think will call my next shot to be the Casselturd in the corner pocket.

Baby Lee
04-05-2012, 03:51 AM
There is a Japanese fiddle player in Branson named Shoji Tabuchi that has golden toilets and a nice pool table in the Loo inside of his theatre. You can't beat that.

Earlier yesterday, I was --><--this close to making a Shoji reference.

Jive Ass
04-05-2012, 04:13 AM
For me, it's definitely my aunt and uncle's bathroom. It was a 2nd floor bathroom with sky lighting that looked up into the upper branches of the oak trees that grew over their house. The natural light really brightened up the room naturally, and you rarely had to turn on the light switch to use the bathroom during the day. Sometimes you could even poop at night with just the moonlight.

The walls were a soft gray with marble tile floors. The sink was in kind of its own separate stall with a teal tile backsplash bordering the mirror. Since there was no shower in that bathroom, the toilet was in a wide open space, and you didn't feel crowded at all. Some nice rubber tree plants in the corners, and a flower sill on the far wall on the far side of the toilet gave you plenty of pleasing, beautiful things to look at in addition to the skylighting.

I was only ever in that house four times, and I only got to poop in there on three occasions. The bathroom really was a part of a fond childhood memory that I really miss. One of these days I'll be able to spend money on a bathroom remodeling, and I'm going to definitely fashion it after my aunt and uncle's bathroom.

Pooping was never so poetic.

Baby Lee
04-05-2012, 04:23 AM
Pooping was never so poetic.

Garrison Keillor presents Lake Poohbegone.