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View Full Version : Funny Stuff Angry ex-girlfriend goes ballistic, rips off man’s scrotum


scho63
04-07-2012, 05:48 PM
:eek:

I doubled over just reading this crazy story!

http://news.yahoo.com/angry-ex-girlfriend-goes-ballistic-rips-off-man-192805232.html

Talk about a ball buster.

An Indiana man was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after his scrotum was the victim of a vicious attack by an ex-girlfriend, The Smoking Gun reports.
The victim told police that his former girlfriend, Christina Reber, stormed into his apartment as he was innocently sitting at his computer. Reber, who he had severed ties with a few days earlier, first struck him on the head and then grabbed his scrotum and began “squeezing as hard as she could.” Naturally, he told officers that he “was in incredible pain when [she] grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”

The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.
As if the story isn’t already good enough, the victim, who has not been identified, was taken to BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. As far as we know, the hospital is not only for scrotum-specific injuries.

In an interview two days after the incident, the man told police that after his ex was done breaking his balls, his family jewels are so swollen that he is unable to work, and he isn’t sure if there will be permanent damage.
Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

pr_capone
04-07-2012, 05:48 PM
/crosses legs and cringes

JD10367
04-07-2012, 05:52 PM
That chick is nuts!

jspchief
04-07-2012, 05:55 PM
I'll take "when it's OK to punch a girl" for $1000, Alex.

Hog's Gone Fishin
04-07-2012, 05:56 PM
She needs to have her tittys removed!

Hammock Parties
04-07-2012, 05:57 PM
I'll take "when it's OK to punch a girl" for $1000, Alex.

Every day of the year.

kcxiv
04-07-2012, 06:02 PM
This is the kind of shit that should never ever be posted on a football forum. lol

rockymtnchief
04-07-2012, 06:03 PM
http://img.hindilinks4u.net/2007/12/Jewel-Thief-1967.jpg

Bwana
04-07-2012, 06:11 PM
I'll take "when it's OK to punch a girl" for $1000, Alex.

Punch hell, try numerous rounds from the Glock. :shake:

TheGuardian
04-07-2012, 06:16 PM
Punch hell, try numerous rounds from the Glock. :shake:

This.

lcarus
04-07-2012, 06:16 PM
This is the kind of shit that should never ever be posted on a football forum. lol

Or a forum dealing with any kind of ball

JD10367
04-07-2012, 06:22 PM
"Hi, Mandy! It's nice to see you on the golf course again!"

"You too, Charlene!"

"Hey... those are some interesting putter covers you have there! Where did you buy them?"

"Well... I didn't actually buy them... I kind of... made them..."

Setsuna
04-07-2012, 06:24 PM
http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u13/wesa2j06/tumblr_loeoh9PNZy1qabnl2.jpg
And THAT's why just any vajayjay isn't always worth it.

Gonzo
04-07-2012, 06:37 PM
It's totally unfair that there's not somewhere we can hit chicks that causes that type of agony. You kick one in the queef box and they walk away with a bruise.

lcarus
04-07-2012, 06:41 PM
It's totally unfair that there's not somewhere we can hit chicks that causes that type of agony. You kick one in the queef box and they walk away with a bruise.

ROFL

rockymtnchief
04-07-2012, 06:44 PM
You kick one in the queef box and they walk away with a bruise.

...and your shoe.

lcarus
04-07-2012, 06:46 PM
...and your shoe.

ROFL

JD10367
04-07-2012, 07:21 PM
It's totally unfair that there's not somewhere we can hit chicks that causes that type of agony. You kick one in the queef box and they walk away with a bruise.

That's what steel-toed boots and pointy-toed cowboy boots are for.

MIAdragon
04-07-2012, 07:23 PM
:She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.[/I]

WTF!?

Mr. Laz
04-07-2012, 07:28 PM
countdown until the ugly bitch lawyer shows up and blames the guy for it


10 .... 9 .... 8 ....

Rain Man
04-07-2012, 07:39 PM
So why is the woman not being charged with sexual assault? If a guy attacked a woman's genitalia, he would absolutely be charged.

ThaVirus
04-07-2012, 10:16 PM
That chick is nuts!

My next paycheck says she's Puerto Rican.

Tribal Warfare
04-07-2012, 10:20 PM
Lorena Bobbitt is giving a golf clap

KcMizzou
04-07-2012, 10:41 PM
So why is the woman not being charged with sexual assault? If a guy attacked a woman's genitalia, he would absolutely be charged.Great point.

Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

My first thought was, "Seriously? That all?"

Chief Roundup
04-07-2012, 10:42 PM
:eek:

I doubled over just reading this crazy story!

http://news.yahoo.com/angry-ex-girlfriend-goes-ballistic-rips-off-man-192805232.html

Talk about a ball buster.

BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL.

Where all scrotums go to be remembered.

Chief Roundup
04-07-2012, 10:43 PM
countdown until the ugly bitch lawyer shows up and blames the guy for it


10 .... 9 .... 8 ....

This.
It couldn't of had anything to do with psychotic behavior on her part.

lcarus
04-07-2012, 11:17 PM
Unless this man is Jerry Sandusky, I feel really bad for him.

Al Bundy
04-08-2012, 01:03 AM
She probably started by punching guys for trying to kiss her in high school.

pr_capone
04-08-2012, 01:08 AM
My next paycheck says she's Puerto Rican.

http://i.imgur.com/njsn2.gif

RubberSponge
04-08-2012, 01:11 AM
New submission for the "would you" thread.

Pushead2
04-08-2012, 01:12 AM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/soDZBW-1P04" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

pr_capone
04-08-2012, 01:13 AM
New submission for the "would you" thread.

No... I'd like for my balls to remain unsqueezed thank you very much.

RubberSponge
04-08-2012, 01:16 AM
No... I'd like for my balls to remain unsqueezed thank you very much.

Ahh come on, crazy can be an adventure.

pr_capone
04-08-2012, 01:19 AM
Ahh come on, crazy can be an adventure.

Had that experience in 03-04... I care not repeat the experience. Easily the most fucked up point of my life.

KcMizzou
04-08-2012, 01:20 AM
Ahh come on, crazy can be an adventure.Untill she RIPS YOUR FUCKING SCROTUM OFF!!!

pr_capone
04-08-2012, 01:21 AM
Had that experience in 03-04... I care not repeat the experience. Easily the most ****ed up point of my life.

Untill she RIPS YOUR ****ING SCROTUM OFF!!!

I would like to clarify that my experience was with crazy... not with scrotum ripping.

munkey
04-08-2012, 05:37 AM
How did she get to the boys? Was he sitting at his computer naked? Weird...

Aries Walker
04-08-2012, 05:41 AM
Indiana. Of course.

Mr. Flopnuts
04-08-2012, 07:15 AM
...and your shoe.

Defeeted!

BoneKrusher
04-08-2012, 07:18 AM
How did she get to the boys? Was he sitting at his computer naked? Weird...

that's what i was wondering.

well at least he wont need Ball Powder for a while.

gblowfish
04-08-2012, 07:25 AM
Any thread on the CP that contains the word "scrotum" is not going to end well...
.

Saul Good
04-08-2012, 07:26 AM
that's what i was wondering.

well at least he wont need Ball Powder for a while.

It fucking sucks to get all the way through a thread only to see that the last post bet you to the joke.

Setsuna
04-08-2012, 08:51 AM
She probably started by punching guys for trying to kiss her in high school.

Don't ruin this thread man. Come on. ENOUGH.

Al Bundy
04-08-2012, 09:15 AM
Don't ruin this thread man. Come on. ENOUGH.

Sorry... I had to.

WhiteWhale
04-08-2012, 09:34 AM
He was sitting at his computer doing WHAT exactly?

I mean under normal circumstances she'd have to remove his pants right?

Unless they were already around his ankles. :D

Okie_Apparition
04-08-2012, 09:41 AM
...innocently sitting at his computer...
Of all the times to be innocent

MMXcalibur
04-08-2012, 09:44 AM
If you didn't grab your balls and wince while reading the story, you have problems...or really really REALLY kinky sex.

KChiefer
04-08-2012, 10:21 AM
So his balls were exposed as he was just "innocently sitting at his computer?"

Riiiiight.

KChiefer
04-08-2012, 10:22 AM
...innocently sitting at his computer...
Of all the times to be innocent

DAMNIT!!! You beat me to beating him up about beating off.

lcarus
04-08-2012, 10:25 AM
So his balls were exposed as he was just "innocently sitting at his computer?"

Riiiiight.

He was probably giving himself an over the shoulder boulder holder while watching Lord of the Cock Rings 11. Might have been what she was pissed about in the first place.

alnorth
04-08-2012, 10:29 AM
Ouch. If he ends up losing his nuts, they need to charge that bitch with mayhem.

(On a side note, "mayhem" is one of those goofy-sounding crimes that make you think you are being accused of running around yelling and causing a disturbance, but its actually one of the most serious crimes on the book in most states, behind murder and attempted murder.)

lcarus
04-08-2012, 10:32 AM
Ouch. If he ends up losing his nuts, they need to charge that bitch with mayhem.

(On a side note, "mayhem" is one of those goofy-sounding crimes that make you think you are being accused of running around yelling and causing a disturbance, but its actually one of the most serious crimes on the book in most states, behind murder and attempted murder.)

Lol, that's exactly what I initially thought of when I heard mayhem.

Okie_Apparition
04-08-2012, 10:33 AM
Mayhem hell
they'll have to knit one pearl two

mdchiefsfan
04-08-2012, 11:02 AM
...and your shoe.

ROFL

lcarus
04-08-2012, 11:03 AM
Mayhem hell
they'll have to knit one pearl two

ROFL

Slainte
04-08-2012, 11:05 AM
Obviously a graduate of Ball State, magma cum laude...

Tombstone RJ
04-08-2012, 11:14 AM
:eek:

I doubled over just reading this crazy story!

http://news.yahoo.com/angry-ex-girlfriend-goes-ballistic-rips-off-man-192805232.html

Talk about a ball buster.

An Indiana man was rushed to the hospital Wednesday after his scrotum was the victim of a vicious attack by an ex-girlfriend, The Smoking Gun reports.
The victim told police that his former girlfriend, Christina Reber, stormed into his apartment as he was innocently sitting at his computer. Reber, who he had severed ties with a few days earlier, first struck him on the head and then grabbed his scrotum and began “squeezing as hard as she could.” Naturally, he told officers that he “was in incredible pain when [she] grabbed his scrotum and began digging in her fingers.”

The police report indicates that the scrotum area was “completely torn loose from his body.” Reber reportedly “refused to let go of his scrotum,” but that the victim was finally able to remove his balls from her vice-like grip.:clap:As if the story isn’t already good enough, the victim, who has not been identified, was taken to BALL MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. As far as we know, the hospital is not only for scrotum-specific injuries.

In an interview two days after the incident, the man told police that after his ex was done breaking his balls, his family jewels are so swollen that he is unable to work, and he isn’t sure if there will be permanent damage.
Reber was charged with two felonies: aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

ROFL

Tombstone RJ
04-08-2012, 11:15 AM
That chick is nuts!

well played sir!

The Pedestrian
04-08-2012, 11:26 AM
After severing ties? It sounds like she hadn't finished until this incident.

GoHuge
04-08-2012, 02:21 PM
After severing ties? It sounds like she hadn't finished until this incident.Well some people need closure!! :D

Setsuna
04-08-2012, 06:23 PM
Sorry... I had to.

So if the child ventured in here due to your comment and posted, the thread would have been dead by the hour. So you HAD to attempt to kill this thread? :shake:

Al Bundy
04-08-2012, 07:03 PM
So if the child ventured in here due to your comment and posted, the thread would have been dead by the hour. So you HAD to attempt to kill this thread? :shake:
:D

Setsuna
04-08-2012, 07:05 PM
:D

ROFLrochambeau

Garcia Bronco
04-08-2012, 07:05 PM
It's totally unfair that there's not somewhere we can hit chicks that causes that type of agony. You kick one in the queef box and they walk away with a bruise.

The throat, liver, stomach.....

KcMizzou
04-08-2012, 07:14 PM
The throat, liver, stomach.....:eek: Sounds like you have experience. Are you Chris Brown?

Crush
04-08-2012, 07:17 PM
This never would have happened if he powdered his balls.

KcMizzou
04-08-2012, 07:18 PM
This never would have happened if he powdered his balls.Truth.

Al Bundy
04-08-2012, 08:31 PM
ROFLrochambeau

It's not my fault.

cdcox
04-08-2012, 10:05 PM
Dang, I was in Indiana this weekend. Shudder.