Whats the closest you have ever come to dying?

[Deberg_1990]

I remember one time when i about 9 or 10 riding my bike on the sidewalk next to a busy street. I lost my balance and my head fell into the street. A car came within inches of smashing into my head. Crazy.....


Whats the closet you have ever come to death? Car accident? Being shot? Skull fracture?

[Hammock Parties]

The 2009 NFL draft.

[DTLB58]

Open heart surgery June 26th, 2009 for a valve replacement.

They say these things are like 99 % success rate now but that's my near death experience.

[Phobia]

My 20th birthday - Iraqi artillery landed a little too close for comfort.

[ElGringo]

ATV accident cracked my skull in 2 places, if one had been 3 cm's to the left, would have broken my neck and most likely died.

[gblowfish]

Tonight's Royals Game....

[Three7s]

My dad, friend, and I were going out to some restaurant and just as we were making a turn to a side-street, some fucker trying to get out of a parking lot decided to ignore our existence and turn right into our car. Amazingly, dad was able to swirve at the last instant to avoid us getting crushed. (suv+car=death to people in car)

Yeah, that wasn't fun to remember.

[LiveSteam]

Stole Bugeaters car & jumped it off an old dirt road at over 70 mph. Car went up. turned a lil to the left then came straight down like a meteorite. No doors,hood,bumpers,front fenders ect. We had taken all of it off the night before. Just me & a seat-belt

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Totaled my car the very first day of college. Good start huh? If not for the last second swerve the oncoming car would have t-boned right into my door. They were going at a pretty good clip too. Walked away though thankfully.

Slipped off a 3rd floor balcony in college and was caught by my belt buckle on the railing. Hung there a few seconds before a friend pulled me back up. College tried to kill me.

[Hammock Parties]

I was trapped in a burning car with my 2 sisters when I was about 8 years old.

[ChiefsHawk]

broke my neck in 04. body temp was in the 70's. was dead for 2 min in life flight to des moines. so tech i have died lol

[The Franchise]

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant fucking buzzkill.

[BigMeatballDave]

Friday.

I was doing 95 down the Florida turnpike.

Nothing happened, but a gator could have jumped out in front of me :)

[LiveSteam]

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant fucking buzzkill.

JFC.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

broke my neck in 04. body temp was in the 70's. was dead for 2 min in life flight to des moines. so tech i have died lol

Story topper.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant ****ing buzzkill.

damn man

[Phobia]

I was trapped in a burning car with my 2 sisters when I was about 8 years old.

Damn firefighters.

[rockymtnchief]

Had my ribs run through my lung and liver by a bull. The bull came back to finish the job when a bullfighter saved my bacon.

Had another bull pin me down, step on my lower back, then step on my upper back, then stepped on the crown of my cowboy hat...with my head still in it.

[Hammock Parties]

Damn firefighters.

ROFL

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Had my ribs run through my lung and liver by a bull. The bull came back to finish the job when a bullfighter saved my bacon.

Had another bull pin me down, step on my lower back, then step on my upper back, then stepped on the crown of my cowboy hat...with my head still in it.

You bull riders are certifiably crazy. Glad you aren't dead.

[Nzoner]

Self inflicted,New Year's Eve 1983,Baccardi 151+pot+large quantity of cocaine.

Haven't touched hard drugs since.

[demonhero]

well... it didn't take long for the lies to start.

[morphius]

almost hydroplaned off an interchange, had 3 wheels in the mud and had pretty much accepted I was about to meet my maker. Got out of the truck and walked around back and another car came right at me sideways, had to take off running down the hill. Shook like hell the rest of the way home. They have since added a railing to that spot.

[Gonzo]

Totaled my car the very first day of college. Good start huh? If not for the last second swerve the oncoming car would have t-boned right into my door. They were going at a pretty good clip too. Walked away though thankfully.

Slipped off a 3rd floor balcony in college and was caught by my belt buckle on the railing. Hung there a few seconds before a friend pulled me back up. College tried to kill me.

Got into a car wreck in 05.
I was driving south in a rain storm on a 2 lane highway. I needed to turn left and some asshat kid and his girlfriend in a 80 olds Cutlass tried passing me on a double yellow.
They t-boned my 94 Chevy pickup on the drivers front fender going about 60 mph. If I had Been one second faster or them one slower, I'd probably not be here. Little fucker.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Got into a car wreck in 05.
I was driving south in a rain storm on a 2 lane highway. I needed to turn left and some asshat kid and his girlfriend in a 80 olds Cutlass tried passing me on a double yellow.
They t-boned my 94 Chevy pickup on the drivers front fender going about 60 mph. If I had Been one second faster or them one slower, I'd probably not be here. Little ****er.

God damn stupid kids. I'm glad you're not dead too Gonzo.

[lewdog]

Had my ribs run through my lung and liver by a bull. The bull came back to finish the job when a bullfighter saved my bacon.

Had another bull pin me down, step on my lower back, then step on my upper back, then stepped on the crown of my cowboy hat...with my head still in it.

Damn bro, ain't many real cowboys left. Glad you are ok.

[journeyscarab]

I was 18 and out at the drive-in with a couple of buddies watching Top Gun. One of them cracked a joke as I was swallowing some popcorn and it it got lodged in my throat. I couldn't breath nor could I get seem to get their attention that I was choking (forgot the international symbol for choking). Anyway I slammed myself against the car and dislodged the popcorn and when I regained my composure I bitched out my friends for ignoring me while I was choking.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I was 18 and out at the drive-in with a couple of buddies watching Top Gun. One of them cracked a joke as I was swallowing some popcorn and it it got lodged in my throat. I couldn't breath nor could I get seem to get their attention that I was choking (forgot the international symbol for choking). Anyway I slammed myself against the car and dislodged the popcorn and when I regained my composure I bitched out my friends for ignoring me while I was choking.

I'm sorry, where you trying to say something?

[OnTheWarpath15]

Don't know if it would have killed me, (would have hurt for sure) but I had one of these bounce over me while in a vulnerable position a few years back.

http://www.deere.com/common/media/images/industry/golf/r2/hero/33_09_1_513013_N_942x458.jpg

[In58men]

I had a seizure when I was about 5


Other than that nothing too severe, knock on wood.

[Bambi]

Got hit by a bus in NY back in '98 when I was on rollerblades.

Not sure what was more traumatizing...getting hit by the bus or the fact that I once wore rollerblades.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Don't know if it would have killed me, (would have hurt for sure) but I had one of these bounce over me while in a vulnerable position a few years back.



OK this needs more story...

[journeyscarab]

I'm sorry, where you trying to say something?

ROFL :clap:

[Fishpicker]

1. got robbed at work 2 years ago & had a 12 gauge shotgun pointed at my head. I found out later from a detective that the robber had planned on tying me up and locking me in the freezer.

2. when I was 4, I ate two whole bottles of chewable vitamins. I was taken to the hospital and given charcoal (just in time)

[Sucky]

It was in 2004 and I was with my friends at a White Sox game...in the Southside of Chicago. After the game was over, we made our way to the parking lot and a black guy approached my friends & I and stuck a gun at my throat and demanded money from all of us. Gave him 60 bucks and some gum lol. Almost pissed myself cause I thought I was gonna die right there in their disgusting parking lot.

I'll never go to a White Sox game again.

[Nzoner]

Don't know if it would have killed me, (would have hurt for sure) but I had one of these bounce over me while in a vulnerable position a few years back.

http://www.deere.com/common/media/images/industry/golf/r2/hero/33_09_1_513013_N_942x458.jpg

So much for sex in the great outdoors

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

2. when I was 4, I ate two whole bottles of chewable vitamins. I was taken to the hospital and given charcoal (just in time)

Thank God. You might have ended up really fucking healthy.

:)

[Phobia]

I had a seizure when I was about 5


Other than that nothing too severe, knock on wood.

Just wait until you start doing more dangerous stuff in your life like, riding a bike and shaving.

[BigRedChief]

Which time? I took so many chance with my life, its embrasing now.


5 mintues late getting out of a movie in Jerusalem. Missed the bus. Suicide bomber blew up the bus and killed everyone and 10 other people near it.
Working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. The rig blew out and it was burn up or jump in the shark infested waters. I has a shark attack me straight on, punched it in the nose and it gave up.
Wanted to go into the Muslim part of Jerusalem. Not the tourist part, the old school only muslims dare enter part. Long story short..... Got into an argument over the redeeming qualities of America with 6-7 muslims. Ended up with a preforated stomach, couple of cracked ribs, concussion etc. Was saved from death by Israeli soldies firing their UZI's.
Just a few examples.

[Dante84]

I was trapped in a burning car with my 2 sisters when I was about 8 years old.

nudes or GTFO

[KurtCobain]

Thursday night I was hanging out in the woods near 23rd and Noland here in independence, and I told people there was a dead body in the woods. I had a railroad spike I was going to point at the cops and make them shoot me. Well, I was hiding behind this fence waiting, and I saw the cop car. I came around the fence and started to pull the spike out like a gun, but got caught on the fence. That startled me and I hesitated, and they quickly detained me before I could go through with my plan. The cop told me had I pulled that spike out he would've shot me. No questions asked.

That's how close I was.

[In58men]

Which time? I took so many chance with my life, its embrasing now.


5 mintues late getting out of a movie in Jerusalem. Missed the bus. Suicide bomber blew up the bus and killed everyone and 10 other people near it.
Working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. The rig blew out and it was burn up or jump in the shark infested waters. I has a shark attack me straight on, punched it in the nose and it gave up.
Wanted to go into the Muslim part of Jerusalem. Not the tourist part, the old school only muslims dare enter part. Long story short..... Got into an argument over the redeeming qualities of America with 6-7 muslims. Ended up with a preforated stomach, couple of cracked ribs, concussion etc. Was saved from death by Israeli soldies firing their UZI's.
Just a few examples.



Either this is a brilliant lie or you're begging to die. Just stay home from now on

[Hammock Parties]

nudes or GTFO

The best I can do is a nude picture of my sister's best friend.

[In58men]

nudes or GTFO

ROFL

[Hammock Parties]

I was running from some very bad men one day and they trapped me on a bridge with a very long drop underneath. As they closed in, I had no choice but to destroy the bridge in my hope to escape. Fortunately, I had secured myself to the bridge with some handy rope, and all the bad men fell to their deaths.

I climbed up the bridge and gave the sankara stones back to the villagers.

[Gonzo]

I remember once when I was like 20 or so living in the Highlands. We were at war with another group a few villages away and we went into battle. I was kicking some serious ass when I came upon this huge, scary looking dude. He got the better of me and stabbed me in the abdomen with this huge fricken blade. Oh noes!

Well, after the fight I was laid up a few days... My wife was bawling and the priest gave his final blessing. Everyone thought I was going to die but just a few days later, I woke up in perfect shape.
Well, the whole neighborhood just knew I was a witch or I made a deal with Satan, etc. (even my. Bitch ex-wife) lulz
Anywho, a few hundred years later, here I am. I am immortal and there can be only one. Oh, btw... I am constantly followed around by some dude playing Queen music and I talk to my dead buddy, Ramierez.

[OnTheWarpath15]

OK this needs more story...

So much for sex in the great outdoors

LMAO

Not that vulnerable...

Used to mow greens at one of the semi-private golf clubs here in STL. I was the only guy on the staff willing to mow this Par-3 hole that had about 2 foot of land off the collar before dropping off (basically) a cliff.

When mowing greens, you have to wait until you've cleared the green and collar before turning the mower, or you can kill the green. This hole left you next-to-no wiggle room to work with.

One day I took a few inches too much, the back tire started to slide off the edge, and off she went, down the hill.

I was thrown 3/4 of the way down the hill/cliff on the first somersault the mower made, landed on my back, and watched as the mower took two more big hops and bounced directly over me. Lets just say that thing was moving. 1400 pounds down a severe slope for about 50 yards.

[Dante84]

The best I can do is a nude picture of my sister's best friend.

I suppose that will do... for now.

[BigRedChief]

Either this is a brilliant lie or you're begging to die. Just stay home from now onI have the picture that started the fight in the muslim quarter. Took a picture of an old man and his mule. He got pissed. Told him to fuck off.

We were told to punch the sharks as part of our training.

I traveled the world and the US for about 10 years getting into all sorts of trouble. Lots of anger. Like I said, its embrassing now. Incredibly stupid.

[Phobia]

Thursday night I was hanging out in the woods near 23rd and Noland here in independence, and I told people there was a dead body in the woods. I had a railroad spike I was going to point at the cops and make them shoot me. Well, I was hiding behind this fence waiting, and I saw the cop car. I came around the fence and started to pull the spike out like a gun, but got caught on the fence. That startled me and I hesitated, and they quickly detained me before I could go through with my plan. The cop told me had I pulled that spike out he would've shot me. No questions asked.

That's how close I was.

If you kill yourself I'm banning you forever.

[Mr. Laz]

isn't there a photoshop version of this thread somewhere?

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

LMAO

Not that vulnerable...

Used to mow greens at one of the semi-private golf clubs here in STL. I was the only guy on the staff willing to mow this Par-3 hole that had about 2 foot of land off the collar before dropping off (basically) a cliff.

When mowing greens, you have to wait until you've cleared the green and collar before turning the mower, or you can kill the green. This hole left you next-to-no wiggle room to work with.

One day I took a few inches too much, the back tire started to slide off the edge, and off she went, down the hill.

I was thrown 3/4 of the way down the hill/cliff on the first somersault the mower made, landed on my back, and watched as the mower took two more big hops and bounced directly over me. Lets just say that thing was moving. 1400 pounds down a severe slope for about 50 yards.

Pretty good story but I have to say I'm slightly disappointed.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Thursday night I was hanging out in the woods near 23rd and Noland here in independence, and I told people there was a dead body in the woods. I had a railroad spike I was going to point at the cops and make them shoot me. Well, I was hiding behind this fence waiting, and I saw the cop car. I came around the fence and started to pull the spike out like a gun, but got caught on the fence. That startled me and I hesitated, and they quickly detained me before I could go through with my plan. The cop told me had I pulled that spike out he would've shot me. No questions asked.

That's how close I was.

Joey why do you hate yourself?

[KurtCobain]

If you kill yourself I'm banning you forever.

Fair enough.

[J Diddy]

I let my first wife drive once.

[In58men]

I have the picture that started the fight in the muslim quarter. Took a picture of an old man and his mule. He got pissed. Told him to **** off.

We were told to punch the sharks as part of our training.

I traveled the world and the US for about 10 years getting into all sorts of trouble. Lots of anger. Like I said, its embrassing now. Incredibly stupid.

Do you still have the pic?

[Deberg_1990]

LMAO

Not that vulnerable...

Used to mow greens at one of the semi-private golf clubs here in STL. I was the only guy on the staff willing to mow this Par-3 hole that had about 2 foot of land off the collar before dropping off (basically) a cliff.

When mowing greens, you have to wait until you've cleared the green and collar before turning the mower, or you can kill the green. This hole left you next-to-no wiggle room to work with.

One day I took a few inches too much, the back tire started to slide off the edge, and off she went, down the hill.

I was thrown 3/4 of the way down the hill/cliff on the first somersault the mower made, landed on my back, and watched as the mower took two more big hops and bounced directly over me. Lets just say that thing was moving. 1400 pounds down a severe slope for about 50 yards.


Good lord, IMO this would be the absolute worst way to die. Getting chewed up by riding lawnmower.

[OnTheWarpath15]

Good lord, IMO this would be the absolute worst way to die. Getting chewed up by riding lawnmower.

Not chewed. Crushed.

[Three7s]

Has there been a Matt Cassel post in this thread yet? If not, I'm shocked people!

[Phobia]

Not chewed. Crushed.

This story keeps getting more and more boring. Why don't you just let somebody else finish it?

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

This story keeps getting more and more boring. Why don't you just let somebody else finish it?

Actually he had his tongue up this chicks ass.... in line at the bank.... when all of the sudden a big lawn tractor came plowing through the window, bounced of the tellers desk and right over his head. This chick turned to him and said "Do I know you?" OTWP said "what's the fuckin difference...."

[BigMeatballDave]

Just now. The Royals came from behind to win and didnt blow it in the 9th.

[pr_capone]

Took fire while out on patrol in the sandbox. That was a fun day.

[OnTheWarpath15]

This story keeps getting more and more boring. Why don't you just let somebody else finish it?

Feel free. I'll keep quiet and play along if you want to claim I died to spruce things up.

[saphojunkie]

Surfing accident in another country. Broke three ribs and punctured my lung. Got into surgery with ten minutes left to live.

[Phobia]

Surfing accident in another country. Broke three ribs and punctured my lung. Got into surgery with ten minutes left to live.

Man... I don't think I would have wasted my time on surgery then.

[BigRedChief]

Do you still have the pic?here ya go. The ones that have survived that got me in trouble.

[Braincase]

Near heart attack on the basketball court when I was 27. Collapsed with chest pains, pulse 220+ and irregular. Hell of a way to find out you have an irregular heartbeat.

[In58men]

here ya go. The ones that have survived that got me in trouble.

Damn never argue with others while in a different country, you'll get rat packed quick. Thank god for the soldiers.

[morphius]

Man... I don't think I would have wasted my time on surgery then.
The nurses were hot!

[CanadianChief]

I once got thrown into the flaming antifreeze aids tree of death. Its not all its cracked up to be.

[kcxiv]

Back when I was a bad guy I been shot at a few times n had my house shot at. I'm retired now.

[ThaVirus]

broke my neck in 04. body temp was in the 70's. was dead for 2 min in life flight to des moines. so tech i have died lol

Anything to report about the afterlife??

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant ****ing buzzkill.

Holy balls! I had a friend point a pistol at my head for a split second once back in high school. He claimed it wasn't loaded but I'm not sure I believe it.

Good lord, IMO this would be the absolute worst way to die. Getting chewed up by riding lawnmower.

No shit. I'd say buried alive would still be worse but it's allllll bad. Anyway, one of my uncles had an accident with a lawnmower. Got his foot caught under one somehow, in which I have no fucking clue. Needless to say his foot didn't make out so well. Half of it's gone now and he walks with a mean limp.

[In58men]

Back when I was a bad guy I been shot at a few times n had my house shot at. I'm retired now.

ggggggggg-uuuunnniiittttttttttt

[BigRedChief]

Damn never argue with others while in a different country, you'll get rat packed quick. Thank god for the soldiers.I was and felt like a bad ass back then. It also helped I was a crazy SOB.

[In58men]

I was and felt like a bad ass back then. It also helped I was a crazy SOB.

Holy shit, not hating but you look some of the guys on Amercias Most Wanted.


I wouldn't have fucked with you with a shotgun lol

[ThaVirus]

Nearest I've ever been was a bit boring but I'll share anyway. I was like 14 or 15 or so if I remember right. Anyway, I was walking across the city to play some football and came to a big ass intersection. I always end up jaywalking if the intersection's big enough. Not sure why, I guess I have stage fright but whatever.

So I start crossing the intersection once it turns red and all the cars are stopped. Traffic was pretty thick so I'm just weaving through the cars and finally come to the far right lane. I didn't know shit about the rules of the road back then so it didn't occur to me that that was the turning lane. I'm in a slight jog and go to take my first step into said turning lane and out of nowhere comes an SUV. Thank God for my cat-like reflexes; I was able to stop mid-stride as the car whizzed about a foot away from me probably going about 25 mph.

It was such a close call. I remember hearing someone gasp for air. I'm not sure if it was the woman driving or someone in one of the cars around me at the stoplight. I'm not even sure it would have killed me to be honest, but it would have hurt like hell at the very least...

[chefsos]

It was in 2004 and I was with my friends at a White Sox game...in the Southside of Chicago. After the game was over, we made our way to the parking lot and a black guy approached my friends & I and stuck a gun at my throat and demanded money from all of us. Gave him 60 bucks and some gum lol. Almost pissed myself cause I thought I was gonna die right there in their disgusting parking lot.

I'll never go to a White Sox game again.Leroy Brown was pretty old, and not very bad, by 2004. Shoulda kicked his ass.

[kcxiv]

ggggggggg-uuuunnniiittttttttttt

I was thuggin them days. I'm also 35 now and out of the game. Now I just kick it with my family.

[BigRedChief]

Holy shit, not hating but you look some of the guys on Amercias Most Wanted.


I wouldn't have fucked with you with a shotgun lolI have mellowed in the past 25 years. Became a overweight, balding surburbanite.

[In58men]

I have mellowed in the past 25 years. Became a overweight, balding surburbanite.


You aged well good buddy.

[Deberg_1990]

I have mellowed in the past 25 years. Became a overweight, balding surburbanite.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You actually look pretty good in this pic, but who's the ugly dude on the left?

[In58men]

I was thuggin them days. I'm also 35 now and out of the game. Now I just kick it with my family.


I was about to be jumped by 4 guys, it was my life or theirs (grammar error?). I knew they wanted to hurt me pretty bad. It was a bad situation, I didn't hesitate to pull my .45. I'm not gangster, but I sometimes you have to pull a strap in order to protect yourself.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I have mellowed in the past 25 years. Became a overweight, balding surburbanite.

You look just like Tony Gonzalez. You probably get that a lot.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I was about to be jumped by 4 guys, it was my life or theirs (grammar error?). I knew they wanted to hurt me pretty bad. It was a bad situation, I didn't hesitate to pull my .45. I'm not gangster, but I sometimes you have to pull a strap in order to protect yourself.

You're doing it right.

:thumb:

[rico]

http://cache.msm-images.myspacecdn.com/msm300jpg75/images02/124/l_930355f59f75441084a1cfbe7c4d470b.jpg

When I was 19, I got jumped by a couple guys at a party. The main guy was wearing brass knuckles. He hit me from behind with the brass knuckles and it knocked me out. Both guys were wearing steel-toed boots and while I was on the ground, they kicked me with them and continued to beat me with brass. I was knocked unconscious for about 20 minutes and when I regained my consciousness, there was this girl holding my hand and baby-talking me. I remember thinking, "damn, when the hell did I start workin' my swerve with this girl?" There were a couple people telling me I needed to go to the hospital and I was so confused because I didn't know why they wanted me to go. I said something like, "I'm not that drunk, I don't need to go to the ****in hospital" when I felt my lip with my tongue...and it was huge. The altercation slowly started coming back to me and I realized what happened and became pissed as hell. I started yelling and screaming for the dudes to step back up and fight me fair and square (I didn't even know what these guys looked like at the time) when a couple of my friends saw the main guy putting the brass back on. So they carried me to a van to take me to the hospital. I was spazzin' out and talking shit the entire time while the dragged me to the van. When I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van, the guy with brass jumped me again. Ended up with a broken nose, a broken cheek bone and they had to glue my eyelid back together.

I've had closer encounters with death, but I'll wait to describe some of those other events tomorrow when I have something other than an EVO to type with.

[In58men]

http://cache.msm-images.myspacecdn.com/msm300jpg75/images02/124/l_930355f59f75441084a1cfbe7c4d470b.jpg

When I was 19, I got jumped by a couple guys at a party. The main guy was wearing brass knuckles. He hit me from behind with the brass knuckles and it knocked me out. Both guys were wearing steel-toed boots and while I was on the ground, they kicked me with them and continued to beat me with brass. I was knocked unconscious for about 20 minutes and when I regained my consciousness, there was this girl holding my hand and baby-talking me. I remember thinking, "damn, when the hell did I start workin' my swerve with this girl?" There were a couple people telling me I needed to go to the hospital and I was so confused because I didn't know why they wanted me to go. I said something like, "I'm not that drunk, I don't need to go to the ****in hospital" when I felt my lip with my tongue...and it was huge. The altercation slowly started coming back to me and I realized what happened and became pissed as hell. I started yelling and screaming for the dudes to step back up and fight me fair and square (I didn't even know what these guys looked like at the time) when a couple of my friends saw the main guy putting the brass back on. So they carried me to a van to take me to the hospital. I was spazzin' out and talking shit the entire time while the dragged me to the van. When I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van, the guy with brass jumped me again. Ended up with a broken nose, a broken cheek bone and they had to glue my eyelid back together.

I've had closer encounters with death, but I'll wait to describe some of those other events tomorrow when I have something other than an EVO to type with.


I wasn't wearing fucking brass knuckles. Always some cheap excuse, wanna go again?

[rico]

I wasn't wearing ****ing brass knuckles. Always some cheap excuse, wanna go again?

Bring it, prag biatch!!

Wait nevermind, I don't feel like dealing with the stress of having a gun pulled on me. :eek:

[In58men]

Bring it, prag biatch!!

Wait nevermind, I don't feel like dealing with the stress of having a gun pulled on me. :eek:

One bullet can take the stress away.


On a serious note, it must suck getting jumped. I've been involved in one and that's why I was about to get jumped lol.

[Rain Man]

broke my neck in 04. body temp was in the 70's. was dead for 2 min in life flight to des moines. so tech i have died lol

ChiefsHawk wins. First prize is apparently the closest parking spot at the mall.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

http://cache.msm-images.myspacecdn.com/msm300jpg75/images02/124/l_930355f59f75441084a1cfbe7c4d470b.jpg

When I was 19, I got jumped by a couple guys at a party. The main guy was wearing brass knuckles. He hit me from behind with the brass knuckles and it knocked me out. Both guys were wearing steel-toed boots and while I was on the ground, they kicked me with them and continued to beat me with brass. I was knocked unconscious for about 20 minutes and when I regained my consciousness, there was this girl holding my hand and baby-talking me. I remember thinking, "damn, when the hell did I start workin' my swerve with this girl?" There were a couple people telling me I needed to go to the hospital and I was so confused because I didn't know why they wanted me to go. I said something like, "I'm not that drunk, I don't need to go to the ****in hospital" when I felt my lip with my tongue...and it was huge. The altercation slowly started coming back to me and I realized what happened and became pissed as hell. I started yelling and screaming for the dudes to step back up and fight me fair and square (I didn't even know what these guys looked like at the time) when a couple of my friends saw the main guy putting the brass back on. So they carried me to a van to take me to the hospital. I was spazzin' out and talking shit the entire time while the dragged me to the van. When I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van, the guy with brass jumped me again. Ended up with a broken nose, a broken cheek bone and they had to glue my eyelid back together.

I've had closer encounters with death, but I'll wait to describe some of those other events tomorrow when I have something other than an EVO to type with.

You look different than in your avatar.

[rico]

One bullet can take the stress away.


On a serious note, it must suck getting jumped. I've been involved in one and that's why I was about to get jumped lol.

The worst thing about it was the sores on my lips/mouth. Stung like hell.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

ChiefsHawk wins. First prize is apparently the closest parking spot at the mall.

I hung off a 3rd floor balcony by my belt buckle. Jesus nothing impresses you people.

[Rain Man]

My near-death experiences have all been mundane.

Got really bad food poisoning that wasn't your normal food poisoning in college. In the hospital for a week, ended up having to more or less drop out of school for a semester. Odds of dying: 0% since I live in a developed country, 100% if I had been born a poor Mauritanian.

Rode across rural India overnight. Odds of dying: probably less than 1%, but for 12 hours it felt like a 50/50 deal. Never been so scared for so long in my life.

Got shot with an arrow in high school. Odds of dying: probably 0% but I like to tell the story.

I suspect there's been a point for all of us when we were walking down the street and some guy decided to kill us, but got distracted by a nearby ladybug as he was pulling the gun out of his pocket, and we never knew a thing.

[Rain Man]

I hung off a 3rd floor balcony by my belt buckle. Jesus nothing impresses you people.

Yeah, yeah. Come back when you're room temperature and we'll give you some points.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Yeah, yeah. Come back when you're room temperature and we'll give you some points.

If it weren't for Tim Cook I might have been... but fine. Just continue to hate me.

[whoman69]

I was caught under a merry go round at age 2 and had over 100 stitches.

[boogblaster]

too many times to tell em all .. first time was when i was 19 was hauling conta fo the man .. stupid bastard i was haulin with keep wantin to open the box-truck to see what we were haulin .. one nite the stupid bastard did .. cut the lock off .. not tellin what was inside .. but when we got to our destination they stuck guns in our mouths and locked us in a overnite freezer storage .. lucky fo me it was him and not me that opened it up .. they broke quite afew of his bones and sent me packin .....

[rico]

You look different than in your avatar.

It's possible that I may have suffered a bit of brain damage as a result of the beating I took which may explain my physical changes over the years.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

It's possible that I may have suffered a bit of brain damage as a result of the beating I took which may explain my physical changes over the years.

Is that a fishing lure (in your avatar) or are you just happy to see me?

[rico]

Is that a fishing lure (in your avatar) or are you just happy to see me?

That was supper for my family that night, homeslice.

[Discuss Thrower]

I guess I might have my distances off, there was a time I almost got hit from behind flying from crosswind to downwind on a touch-and-go at an airport. Dude either didn't listen to tower to make right traffic (as I was making left) or he cut his pattern really short because I lost sight of him after he took off. Turned around to see him at more or less the same altitude and about 50 feet behind me; he was also in a marginally faster bird so I freaked the fuck out, banked my plane (with instructor) right and made a 360 while I held off from cursing the guy out over the radio.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

That was supper for my family that night, homeslice.

I meant in your pocket... but maybe you did too...?

:hmmm:

[rico]

I meant in your pocket... but maybe you did too...?

:hmmm:

ROFL

I knew I could count on you to notice!

Not to brag or anything, but I have a hell of a time keeping my monster successfully tucked in to my cut-off jean shorts when I am doing the "mullet man" gimmick.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

ROFL

I knew I could count on you to notice!

Not to brag or anything, but I have a hell of a time keeping my monster successfully tucked in to my cut-off jean shorts when I am doing the "mullet man" gimmick.

Maybe you've never heard the old saying "is that a ........ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Just playing off that bud. But nice fish anyway.

[rico]

Maybe you've never heard the old saying "is that a ........ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Just playing off that bud. But nice fish anyway.

I've heard it before, but never gave the meaning much thought until now.

Your damn right that's a NICE fish!!!

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

I've heard it before, but never gave the meaning much thought until now.

Your damn right that's a NICE fish!!!

I'm 95% sure that isn't you in your avy but please settle it for me.

[J Diddy]

ROFL

I knew I could count on you to notice!

Not to brag or anything, but I have a hell of a time keeping my monster successfully tucked in to my cut-off jean shorts when I am doing the "mullet man" gimmick.

Might I suggest something other than Daisy Dukes.

[rico]

I'm 95% sure that isn't you in your avy but please settle it for me.

You are 5% correct.

http://ricoswaff.com/blog1/?p=667

That is the entry where we took the mullet man fishing on a bridge pics.

The inside joke about Chiefs fans in my geographic location is that they are all white trash. It just so happens that I am a Chiefs fan and write a blog with a white trash mullet man that I use as the mascot. Therefore I decided to use the mullet man as my avatar despite knowing that there aren't any Southeast Iowans that post here who MIGHT get the joke.

[rico]

Might I suggest something other than Daisy Dukes.

No, you must not.

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

You are 5% correct.

http://ricoswaff.com/blog1/?p=667

That is the entry where we took the mullet man fishing on a bridge pics.

The inside joke about Chiefs fans in my geographic location is that they are all white trash. It just so happens that I am a Chiefs fan and write a blog with a white trash mullet man that I use as the mascot. Therefore I decided to use the mullet man as my avatar despite knowing that there aren't any Southeast Iowans that post here who MIGHT get the joke.

I've been 5% correct a lot in my life.

edit... that's a quality mullet.

[rico]

I've been 5% correct a lot in my life.

edit... that's a quality mullet.

Hell yeah, I rock hard when I'm sportin' my fiancee's hair extensions.

[Raiderhater]

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=139539&highlight=So+I+tried+to+kill+myself+last+night&page=5

[Blick]

I was drunk, and inexplicably exploring the roof of my old, 3 story house in college while drinking a beer. I finished the beer, and in my idiotic drunken wisdom, wanted to see how far I could throw it. So I launched the bottle across the street, and my momentum took me immediately over the edge. I hit the roof over the front porch on the way down, dislocating the shit out of my wrist, and instantly rolled off and landed on my back in the front yard. Amazingly, I was fine. It probably could have been a lot worse.

[BryanBusby]

About drowned when I was a kid and avoided pools for awhile because of it. Than I got older, realized they were the best place to see girls with hardly any clothes on and got over it lol

Outside of that, had a really close call with a tornado about 10 years ago. That sure was something. :)

[RealSNR]

One time when I was a kid I was wearing loose clothing around a wood chipper, and I got sucked in. Luckily my penis is so hard and so massive that it got in the way of the blades and they jammed up. I was able to pull myself out of the wood chipper with just a scratch.

[lcarus]

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant fucking buzzkill.

Similar story for mine. About a year ago, my retarded buddy pulled out his "new toy" as he called it. A 45 with hollow points. I was standing about a foot from him as he was showing it to me. He loaded it, cocked it back (or whatever, I'm no gun expert) and somehow it slipped forward and went off. Luckily he was pointing it away and down. It went right through the arm of his couch. The funny part was, his girlfriends smartphone was on the arm of the couch and it had a giant hole in it.

Another foot or two and I could have been killed or mutilated. My brother and his girlfriend were also in the house nearby. We couldn't believe it.

[SnakeXJones]

Died twice during a 11 hour surgery lost 9 pints of blood have awesome scar on chest

[Rausch]

Died twice during a 11 hour surgery lost 9 pints of blood have awesome scar on chest

Yet did not cry like pussy.

Odd...:hmmm:

[bevischief]

I remember once when I was like 20 or so living in the Highlands. We were at war with another group a few villages away and we went into battle. I was kicking some serious ass when I came upon this huge, scary looking dude. He got the better of me and stabbed me in the abdomen with this huge fricken blade. Oh noes!

Well, after the fight I was laid up a few days... My wife was bawling and the priest gave his final blessing. Everyone thought I was going to die but just a few days later, I woke up in perfect shape.
Well, the whole neighborhood just knew I was a witch or I made a deal with Satan, etc. (even my. Bitch ex-wife) lulz
Anywho, a few hundred years later, here I am. I am immortal and there can be only one. Oh, btw... I am constantly followed around by some dude playing Queen music and I talk to my dead buddy, Ramierez.

ROFL

[bevischief]

here ya go. The ones that have survived that got me in trouble.

You don't f### up in that part of the world... They play for keeps.

[bevischief]

The closet was when I getting on to 69 highway hit black ice and bounced off the guard rail and bounce across south bound 69 highway without hitting anyone.This was 151th st on ramp. Totaled my truck. The other time was when I burned my legs the between the burns and the ER over dosing me with pain meds.

[KCinNY]

Spent about 36 hours in a coma following emergency surgery last September. Although I wasn't anywhere near consciousness, I remember my wife holding my hand and talking to me. Woke up on Sunday afternoon just in time to see the Lions finish off their smash job on the Chiefs.

[seclark]

early 90's i was down on the river hand fishing. appendix ruptured. by time i got to the hospital i was pretty messed up. they removed the appendix, then the next day they had to open me back up and wash all my guts out due to gangrene. overall, spent a month in the hospital w/a tube running from my nose into my stomach pumping everything out waiting for my guts to start working again.

morphine's a helluva drug. but when you cant eat or do anything else you just keep punching that button.
sec

[suds79]

Died twice during a 11 hour surgery lost 9 pints of blood have awesome scar on chest

Any after death interesting story to share?... I assume no otherwise I would think you would have.

[tooge]

Drunk driver said he had a "vietnam flashback" and started chasing me down a road and into an industrial complex. He ran over a few small trees I tried to get behind. I finally ran out of energy from running from the psycho and tripped over the curb. He ran me over. Front left tire went over my shoulder and rolled me, and the back left tire went over my back. Rear diff hit my head and knocked me out. Corner of the rear bumper took a nice chunk of my forarm that was later found still on the bumper which pretty much nailed the guy. I got 3 shoulder surgeries, a bunch of scars, and a lifetime of shoulder pain. His dumb ass got 90 days in a psych unit.

[ChiTown]

Hell yeah, I rock hard when I'm sportin' my fiancee's hair extensions.

OK, I just read parts of your blog. That shit is LOL funny. Nice work.:clap:

[suds79]

His dumb ass got 90 days in a psych unit.

That's messed up.

I hate any kind of temporary insanity defense. Such BS. Whose to say he won't get another flashback next time and actually kill someone?

[blaise]

When I was a kid we came home from the store, and my mom got out of the car to go inside. I had my head out the window and the power window went up as she was walking away from me. It closed my neck between the window and door. I tried to call out to her but I couldn't make a sound, I couldn't breathe. She happened to turn around and see me, and ran back and put the window down. If she had gone inside and set the bags down I don't know if it would have been too long.

[Dartgod]

Some nut job started shooting at me when I worked at this gas station in St. Louis. I guess he picked me by random out of the phone book. His first few shots missed and hit the oil cans next to the gas pumps. I thought he just had some beef with the oil companies until the owner of the station told me to take cover, that I was his intended target. I was lucky as hell to survive that.

[blaise]

My friend and I were getting stoned in his basement. He wanted to show me his new rifle.....waived the barrel in front of my face.....as soon as it passed my ear.....it went off. Instant ****ing buzzkill.

When I was in 8th grade a friend of mine, Mike, accidentally shot another kid at Mike's house. They were looking at Mike's dad's gun. I can remember being at a roller skating party and someone came up to me and said, "Mike killed a kid last night."

[tooge]

Some nut job started shooting at me when I worked at this gas station in St. Louis. I guess he picked me by random out of the phone book. His first few shots missed and hit the oil cans next to the gas pumps. I thought he just had some beef with the oil companies until the owner of the station told me to take cover, that I was his intended target. I was lucky as hell to survive that.

Naven, Johnsan R. Sounds like a typical bastard. DIE GAS PUMPER!!!!

[ChiTown]

Naven, Johnsan R. Sounds like a typical bastard. DIE GAS PUMPER!!!!

ROFL

[KurtCobain]

Thursday night I was hanging out in the woods near 23rd and Noland here in independence, and I told people there was a dead body in the woods. I had a railroad spike I was going to point at the cops and make them shoot me. Well, I was hiding behind this fence waiting, and I saw the cop car. I came around the fence and started to pull the spike out like a gun, but got caught on the fence. That startled me and I hesitated, and they quickly detained me before I could go through with my plan. The cop told me had I pulled that spike out he would've shot me. No questions asked.

That's how close I was.

I also jumped in front of a car that night, cracked their wind shield with my head. Had they not seen me and hit the brakes I could be dead.

[Graystoke]

A little part of me dies every time I hear the name Matt Cassel

[Iowanian]

I've been close enough to smell death's breath a couple of times.


In HS, the police came to our farm to talk to my folks and I because my name had been located on a list of "people to kill" of some wanna be devil worshipers, I was #3 on the list.
I wasn't very nervous about that though, because they were douchebags.

[Phobia]

I also jumped in front of a car that night, cracked their wind shield with my head. Had they not seen me and hit the brakes I could be dead.

I got to tell you, these "I think about killing myself a lot" posts from you are awesome.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

I was trapped in a burning car with my 2 sisters when I was about 8 years old.

Do you have pics of your sisters ??? :D

[Dante84]

I've been close enough to smell death's breath a couple of times.


In HS, the police came to our farm to talk to my folks and I because my name had been located on a list of "people to kill" of some wanna be devil worshipers, I was #3 on the list.
I wasn't very nervous about that though, because they were douchebags.

Maybe you should give those douchebags a call.

It may come in handy sometime.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7SSWhEuWaRc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Frazod]

There was one day a couple years ago when I was walking toward a parking garage in the Loop. Just as I was approaching the exit, a car came flying out, and I mean flying - didn't slow down to look for pedestrians or traffic - fishtailed into the street, tires squealing. Fucking lunatic. Missed me by a couple of inches - had I been one step further down the sidewalk, he would have hit me and it would have been bad. I've had a handful of close calls and been in some dangerous situtations over the years, but that one kind of sticks with me. I think because of the out-of-nowhere factor. I pause when passing garage exits now.

[kepp]

I've had a couple fairly close calls the first of which was nearly being hit by a train while "cruising" in high school. I grew up in a small town and they didn't have the barriers that come down over the street when a train comes through town. I was cruising the usual strip, not paying attention while crossing the tracks, when I look to my right and all I could see was the HUGE front end of a train engine. I stomped on the gas...it couldn't have missed me by more than 5-10 feet. Another time my buddy and I were drunk (again, in high school) and for some reason decided to go for a spin on a motorcycle he just got. We were going probably 30 or 35 (not very fast) when he forgot about a 90 degree curve in the gravel road. I landed a couple feet from a barbed wire fence with a cracked helmet. He said I was knocked out for a minute or so.

[Rain Man]

Naven, Johnsan R. Sounds like a typical bastard. DIE GAS PUMPER!!!!

HE HATES CANS!

That may be my favorite scene in that whole movie, which is amazing considering that Bernadette Peters was in other scenes.

[BigRedChief]

Outside of that, had a really close call with a tornado about 10 years ago. That sure was something. :)Yeah I didnt even mention the 6 hurricanes, 3 tornadoes and 1 earthquake that I've been in.

[BigRedChief]

Drunk driver said he had a "vietnam flashback" and started chasing me down a road and into an industrial complex. He ran over a few small trees I tried to get behind. I finally ran out of energy from running from the psycho and tripped over the curb. He ran me over. Front left tire went over my shoulder and rolled me, and the back left tire went over my back. Rear diff hit my head and knocked me out. Corner of the rear bumper took a nice chunk of my forarm that was later found still on the bumper which pretty much nailed the guy. I got 3 shoulder surgeries, a bunch of scars, and a lifetime of shoulder pain. His dumb ass got 90 days in a psych unit.that shit is real. I've seen it several times. All of a sudden the dude just freaks out, behaving and acting totally irrational. And these guys are really dangerous individuals. It's scary shit. Your not suppose to mention it next time you see them either.

[Rasputin]

I don't know if it was the closest call to death I had, but when I was born the umbilical cord was wrap around my neck choking the life out of me. I didn't have any breath to start my life and they did infant cpr. Of course I don't recall any of it so it's what I've been told.

I've had other close calls that could have ended my life, but that sure would of sucked not to get a chance at life to begin with.

[lewdog]

I had the Norovirus my junior year in college and I shit and barfed my brains out for 7 straight days. I honestly should have gone to the hospital but I managed to stay hydrated enough, even though I have no idea how. I only missed a few classes and almost shit my pants in class during a mid-term I had that week.

[Dayze]

hearing the chemical alarm on the carrier off the coast of Kuwait and having to don the real gas masks. probalby not 'close' to dying, but was sure as shit scared.

[MOhillbilly]

My mom yried to flush me down the toliet but my head was to big.

[rico]

hearing the chemical alarm on the carrier off the coast of Kuwait and having to don the real gas masks. probalby not 'close' to dying, but was sure as shit scared.

I know someone who experienced that same exact thing and said it was the most petrified he had ever been in his entire life.

[Dayze]

I know someone who experienced that same exact thing and said it was the most petrified he had ever been in his entire life.

yep. we'd always train for battle stations and have simulations about once a week. but this alarm went off - there are differnt alarms for collision, chemical etc - and followed with "Battle stations, Battle stations. this is not a drill"


....nearly shat.most skeert I've ever been in my life.

[The Iron Chief]

Some 30 yrs ago in my Dodge Monaco I heard a strange noise while driving down the highway I decided to get off at the next exit... I was a kid I didn't start breaking til I came upon stopped traffic at the end of the exit ramp..I was still going 60 when I realized the noise was my breaks and I had none!
As many will say I felt like the next 5 seconds was 30 minutes... I either kill the people in their cars at the stop sign or drive up the side of a mountain that was to my right figuring I'm a dead man...still made the right call drove up onto the mountain side still going 50.
Car was totaled I was pretty F'ed up but nobody died everyone realized what I had done so everyone around came to take care of my super hero a$$ til the ambulance came.
Of course til I gargled no breaks..I think everyone was like wtf man you wasted?!

Anyhow a few ribs a concussion ..did they call it that then? no.

And here I am a super hero lived to see Diablo 3!!!

BooYa!

[KevB]

I've been pretty lucky. My only brush with death (probably not all that close really) was as a youngster. Pretty funny when I think back. I was playing with marbles and got one stuck in my throat. Walked into the kitchen and Mom realized I couldn't breathe. She screamed at my dad who came running. He literally picked me up by my ankles, turned me upside down and started shaking. Marble popped out onto the floor, alternative to the Heimlich discovered.

[Setsuna]

When I was younger, I almost drowned a few times.

[rico]

When I was younger, I almost drowned a few times.

Not to sound racist or anything, but did you almost drown a few times because the stereotype is true? Or were there other circumstances which led to you almost drowning a few times?

[Dayze]

Not to sound racist or anything, but did you almost drown a few times because the stereotype is true? Or were there other circumstances which led to you almost drowning a few times?

LMAO

:popcorn:

[rico]

OK, I just read parts of your blog. That shit is LOL funny. Nice work.:clap:

Thanks man!

[Ace Gunner]

that brodie croyle game in san diego a few seasons back. I almost died, but I fell asleep.

[Simplicity]

When I was like 8... Me and a couple friends were racing bikes down a one way street and I was being stupid and tried slipping up the slanted curb to get on the sidewalk. Lost control and ran into the building at full speed and the only thing keeping my head from hitting straight brick was my old chiefs ball cap. Broke the bill but it did sure save my life.