The Dumbest Thing You've Ever Done...

[ChiefRocka]

Put my cat in the microwave and pressed start (babysitter stopped it after 4 seconds)...cat lived to be 19 yrs old.

[tooge]

opened this thread. You knew that was coming

[Munson]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:

[GordonGekko]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:

This.

I was doomed from the start I guess, no choice. I was born in KC.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Stole a laptop, hopped on my motorcycle, and jumped off whilst it broke apart in mid air landing into my exes boyfriend putting him in the hospital.

[morphius]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:
Hard to argue this one.

[luv]

Dated a certain ex boyfriend.

[Frosty]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:

Yeah, that pretty much trumps what I was going to write.

[DMAC]

I do

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Drafted T-Jack at 3 and traded a 2nd for Cassel. Oh hai guys.

[Stewie]

Responded to my boss's email thinking I had taken his address out of my return email. I thought I only sent it to my co-worker, but got a phone call. Fortunately, he was cool about it because it was pretty harsh regarding his performance.

[Slainte]

Sold all other investments. Invested solely in precious metals.

[Frazod]

I do

THIS

[BigMeatballDave]

Thinking Cassel could be a good QB.

[suzzer99]

Didn't map out my route on my date with the hottest girl I've ever gone out with. Go horribly lost in some industrial wasteland, naturally right as pea soup fog closed in, freaked her out. No second date obv :(

[The Franchise]

Screwed around with a drunk girl that ended way worse for me than I thought it would.

[Fish]

Marriage.

[Iowanian]

Bio-Diesel shares

[BoneKrusher]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:

since 89 for me, really enjoyed the ride till 94 and i liked the DV era.

[Rain Man]

Trusted that Adams County, Colorado's, government would behave ethically if given information about corruption among their employees.

[ModSocks]

Became a Chiefs fan.

40+ years of mediocrity.:banghead:

/thread

[In58men]

Had some bad accidents while being drunk at the wheel.


Hit a restaurant and a big ass nieghborhood mail box. The mail box was obviously red headed into the ground. After I hit the fucker it flew threw some guys fence. I simply put my truck in reverse and bounced. Oops, sorry bout that.

Both times no DUI.

[Ceej]

I've not done something incredibly stupid, yet.


But, countless mornings I catch myself trying to brush my teeth with shaving gel as opposed to actual toothpaste.

[Setsuna]

Got myself kicked out of a great university.

[Discuss Thrower]

Two way tie between urinating in clear view of several fraternity houses from a 5 foot wall and getting caught by a cop and fooling around with some other dude's Fiancee.

[Ceej]

Along with the college theme..

I guess you could say not graduating with a Bachelor's.

I need to do an internship (~640 hours) before I graduate.

I'm just having a tough time thinking of working a 40+ hour job plus a potential unpaid internship.

Plus, right now, I'm making more money then I would starting out in sports.

[KurtCobain]

Two way tie between urinating in clear view of several fraternity houses from a 5 foot wall and getting caught by a cop and fooling around with some other dude's Fiancee.

You are a bad man.

[loochy]

Asked Badgirl to open my orange juice when I was laid up in the hospital.

[Saulbadguy]

I put my cat in the microwave and pressed start (babysitter stopped it after 5 seconds)...cat lived to be 20 yrs old.

[Iowanian]

I put my babysitter in the microwave and pressed start (babysitter gave me a bobo after I let her out)....and she still alive.

[Graystoke]

Had a Cop chase me on foot while drunk and I ducked into a laundry mat, climbed into a dryer and fell asleep till someone hit bulky dry.

[Frazod]

I put my cat in the dryer once, for about 10 seconds.

MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*

Fucker never scratched me again.

[Dayze]

ran from the cops on my sportbike with a group of about 10 other riders (who i didn't even know; we met up for a 10pm ride) around 1am. It was somewhat rural, curvy roads etc.

we got away and met up later, but it was very very stupid. Riding 145+mph at night (or day for that matter) is very dumb.
I was only 23 at the time.

[suds79]

About a month ago or so I was peeling an orange at work with scissors. (1 - Why am i using scissors to peel an orange? 2 - Never cut towards yourself) It slipped and I gashed my thumb wide open requiring 5 stitches.

Hard to live that one down with your co-workers.

Not sure if it's the dumbest thing I've ever done but certainly not my brightest moment.

[FlaChief58]

Thinking Cassel could be a good QB.

This for true!

Marrying my whore of an ex would be the the dumbest, but I did get 2 great boys out of the deal

[Frosty]

My dumbest moment should probably go in the "closest to dying" thread.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade, one of my friends convinced me to go tubing at the reservoir. Normally this wouldn't be dumb, but I couldn't swim at all. He convinced me that we would just be floating around, which we did, until I somehow fell off. I literally sank like a stone at that point.

I didn't drown only because my friend was able to get under me and push me to shore.

What a dumbass. :shake:

[allen_kcCard]

My dumbest moment should probably go in the "closest to dying" thread.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade, one of my friends convinced me to go tubing at the reservoir. Normally this wouldn't be dumb, but I couldn't swim at all. He convinced me that we would just be floating around, which we did, until I somehow fell off. I literally sank like a stone at that point.

I didn't drown only because my friend was able to get under me and push me to shore.

What a dumbass. :shake:

Found this pic of you and your friend afterward.

http://mortystv.com/showcards/flipper_box_250.jpg

[Fish]

My dumbest moment should probably go in the "closest to dying" thread.

During the summer between 7th and 8th grade, one of my friends convinced me to go tubing at the reservoir. Normally this wouldn't be dumb, but I couldn't swim at all. He convinced me that we would just be floating around, which we did, until I somehow fell off. I literally sank like a stone at that point.

I didn't drown only because my friend was able to get under me and push me to shore.

What a dumbass. :shake:

I've never understood this. No offense to yourself. But how is it that you would just sink? I mean it's not like it takes some kind of special training or practice to flail your arms forward and direct yourself through the water. You can throw just about any animal in the water, and they'll instinctively paddle to try and get out. On top of that, most humans are buoyant.

If you accidentally fell in a fire, would you just sit there and burn to death, or make some kind of motion to direct yourself out of the fire? Why would it be different in water? Is is just that you freeze and panic from fear or what?

Honestly, I'm not trying to poke fun. I've just often wondered how it is that somebody cannot figure out how to get to the top of the water. It doesn't take much motion, and the motion doesn't require much control.

Just curious. I learned to swim when my older cousins heaved me into the lake at a young age and told me not to drown. Have you since learned how to swim?

[Frosty]

If you accidentally fell in a fire, would you just sit there and burn to death, or make some kind of motion to direct yourself out of the fire? Why would it be different in water? Is is just that you freeze and panic from fear or what?

Panic. I was flailing around but I think I was doing more harm than good. Also, I was very thin at the time and not that buoyant. I know I was under water pretty quickly.

Have you since learned how to swim?

I learned during high school, a couple of years later. I am not a great swimmer but could manage in a similar situation now.

I'm a lot more buoyant now, too. :rolleyes:

[Pneuma]

Married my ex wife!

[seclark]

I've never understood this. No offense to yourself. But how is it that you would just sink? I mean it's not like it takes some kind of special training or practice to flail your arms forward and direct yourself through the water. You can throw just about any animal in the water, and they'll instinctively paddle to try and get out. On top of that, most humans are buoyant.

If you accidentally fell in a fire, would you just sit there and burn to death, or make some kind of motion to direct yourself out of the fire? Why would it be different in water? Is is just that you freeze and panic from fear or what?

Honestly, I'm not trying to poke fun. I've just often wondered how it is that somebody cannot figure out how to get to the top of the water. It doesn't take much motion, and the motion doesn't require much control.

Just curious. I learned to swim when my older cousins heaved me into the lake at a young age and told me not to drown. Have you since learned how to swim?

i've seen it...was a lifeguard for awhile in hs. some girl didn't know how to swim was hanging on to the side of the pool at the deep end w/some friends. no one knew she couldn't swim. for some reason, she lost her grip on the side and just sunk like a frigging rock. didn't try to flop her arms or anything...just stuck them out like frankenstein. all her dumbass friends are just watching her saying, "cool!" and shit.

i jumped in and pulled her out. had another lifeguard blow some air into her mouth and she chucked up some water, and split...dumbass.

sec

[Gary]

Tried to outrun a cop on New Years Eve when I was 17 while drunk in a Ford Bronco II with a cooler full of beer in the back seat. Was charged with reckless driving, attempting to elude a police officer, & minor in possession of alcohol. The officer gave the dui test at the station, & I blew above the legal limit. He chose to take mercy on me because I had been honest with him about how much I had to drink and was respectful to him.

[bevischief]

What is the statue of limitations for destruction of property in Kansas?

[007]

Joined some forum full of fans of a franchise that can't win a playoff game.






















Heh, probably the best thing I have ever joined. Been sharing our pain ever since.

[saphojunkie]

Move back to KC for a year and a half after college. Not slagging on KC, but seriously...I graduate college and my brilliant plan is to move back home and work as a waiter?

Thank god I got off my ass and got out in the world.

[sd4chiefs]

Once I tried to make a living scalping tickets to women's sporting events.

[BossChief]

Breaking up with my high school girlfriend over the dumbest shit EVER.

She's had three kids now and Is still a dime piece.

[big nasty kcnut]

I'd stole some stuff smoked a dubie and made out with a married chick. Not at the same time.

[Strongside]

Student Loans.

[007]

Moving to Emporia because I desperately wanted out of Topeka.

[scho63]

Once I tried to make a living scalping tickets to women's sporting events.

ROFL

Props for fessing up to this!!!

[In58men]

Breaking up with my high school girlfriend over the dumbest shit EVER.

She's had three kids now and Is still a dime piece.


Name?

[scho63]

The dumbest three things I ever did was all on the same day in 1981.

I was checking out colleges and was in Florida with my Dad at my Grandparents home. My Grandmother said she had a tree branch she needed taken down. I grabbed a small three-step ladder, a hand saw, and climbed up to cut the wide branch. With my left hand I held the big wide branch and with my right I reach above my head and began to cut. Just as I was about to finish, the branch weighing around 25 pounds, gave way, fell straight onto my head, and I was knocked off the ladder bleeding from a giant nugget on the top of my head.

My Dad was in the yard and laughed his ass off.

Then we headed to the beach to go walking and swimming. As I was walking the beach with my Dad, I saw something strange I never saw before. It looked like a giant collapsed bubble. So I said " Hey look at that" and I proceeded to pick it up. The second I grabbed hold of this I got a giant stinging shock to my hand and arm. It was a Portuguese Man-of-War. I began to cry as the pain was so intense. My Dad was laughing again.

We went home for dinner.

Then at night we went to Biscayne Bay dog track. I don't remember the exact race but I told my Dad I wanted to bet a certain two dog combo. He told me how to bet it. I went to go place my bet and met a hot girl on the way. I started talking to her and didn't make it to the window...you guessed it, my combo won the exacta and instead of winning around $200 I got no money and no phone number....

My Dad laughed all the way home.......

God Bless his soul.

[Simply Red]

This thread has been done before, and my answer is the same.

I walked out of the house with the water running in the bathroom once.

[bevischief]

This thread has been done before, and my answer is the same.

I walked out of the house with the water running in the bathroom once.

wtf?

[Stanley Nickels]

I sold 50+ shares of Apple stock at $50/share in 2005, thinking the company had really reached its plateau and was overexerting itself in the mobile MP3 market.

It's at 569 right now.

[bevischief]

I sold 50+ shares of Apple stock at $50/share in 2005, thinking the company had really reached its plateau and was overexerting itself in the mobile MP3 market.

It's at 569 right now.

Dumbass.

[Stanley Nickels]

I also sold 20-some-odd shares through my time at Apple (2007-2011) because I thought I was poor. I was buying them at the following clip: take the lowest price on either opening or closing of the 6-month "stock purchase" period, and subtract 15%. It was going up 40-50% each six months during that time, so I was effectively getting a 60-70% discount on the stocks each time. For example, during one period (Jan-Jul 2009) it was 90 at the beginning, and 145 at the end. The shares were purchased/exercised for $76.50 when it was $145. And I sold it, because, beer money. Right?

[Stanley Nickels]

Oh, and more recently I sold my $1500 computer to an eBay scam. Yup. If you follow Reddit, you can probably find my thread.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Dated a certain ex boyfriend.

Would you just let it go! We weren't mean't for each other !

[Stanley Nickels]

I am living proof that intelligence /= common sense.

[Stanley Nickels]

Dumbass.

To my credit, most of that stock was purchased with the profits from buying Urban Outfitters in the late 90s, watching it split 2 or 3 times (sorry, dont remember), and selling right before it plummeted.

I also thought I should buy American Apparel low, but that just stayed in the shitter.

[morphius]

I am living proof that intelligence /= common sense.
shouldn't that be !=

(old coding method)

[Frazod]

Let's see....

I'll omit poor life choices and all the times I drove drunk when I was a kid.

That leaves me with:

After my grandpa's funeral, I found a live .50 caliber round in his bureau. I tried to get it to go off by hitting it with a hammer while I was holding it in my hand. I figured the round would just exit the end. Good thing it was a dud. Fuck.

Pissing on an electric fence. There's a mistake you only make once.

Threw out $400 in cash with the Christmas garbage. Realized it the evening of trash pickup day. Another mistake you only make once.

A certain incident involving a refrigerator....

A certain incident involving a gas grill....

And of course, there was the time I dropped about $200 on three tickets to Les Miserables (for me, the wife and my Goddaughter). My wife had recently lost tickets to a Chiefs/Bears game and a couple of other things, so I hid the tickets somewhere she couldn't find them. And somehow I got it in my head that they were for the evening show. Realized they were for the matinee show about 10 minutes before the show started, 35 miles away. I was just mortified by that, no so much for the lost money but because my Goddaughter had really been looking forward to seeing it and I totally fucked up. Awful, and no one to blame but myself. At least I'll have a chance to rectify that later in the year when the show comes back to Chicago.

[Chief Pote]

Beat the shit out of a toilet because it plugged up on me(literally beat the shit out of it). I had the plunger and when I was finished with that sum bitch I broke the water tank and water spewed everywhere. The toilet was a harvest gold color and my wife wanted to remodel the bathroom anyway. I spend the next weekend or two installing a new floor / removing wallpaper / installing new plumbing fixtures. Damn that was dumb.

[lewdog]

Sold all other investments. Invested solely in precious metals.


ROFL

This deserves a bump for the great cross thread humor.

[mlyonsd]

Turned my back on a pissed off horse once. Never did that again.

Was using a belt sander and had the trigger locked in the on position when I went to pull the power cord so it would reach. It grabbed my short shirtsleeve on the opposing arm and buried itself right into my skin on full power. Never did that again.

Three of us started across a very large northern Canadian lake against a 30 mph cross wind in a 16 foot V-front boat with only 2 life jackets. Never did that again.

Me and a buddy started across a different big Canadian lake in a loaded down canoe against another 30 mph or so wind. Probably won't do that again until two weeks from now when I'm back on the same lake.

[Rasputin]

Let's see....

I'll omit poor life choices and all the times I drove drunk when I was a kid.

That leaves me with:

After my grandpa's funeral, I found a live .50 caliber round in his bureau. I tried to get it to go off by hitting it with a hammer while I was holding it in my hand. I figured the round would just exit the end. Good thing it was a dud. ****.

Pissing on an electric fence. There's a mistake you only make once.

Threw out $400 in cash with the Christmas garbage. Realized it the evening of trash pickup day. Another mistake you only make once.

A certain incident involving a refrigerator....

A certain incident involving a gas grill....

And of course, there was the time I dropped about $200 on three tickets to Les Miserables (for me, the wife and my Goddaughter). My wife had recently lost tickets to a Chiefs/Bears game and a couple of other things, so I hid the tickets somewhere she couldn't find them. And somehow I got it in my head that they were for the evening show. Realized they were for the matinee show about 10 minutes before the show started, 35 miles away. I was just mortified by that, no so much for the lost money but because my Goddaughter had really been looking forward to seeing it and I totally ****ed up. Awful, and no one to blame but myself. At least I'll have a chance to rectify that later in the year when the show comes back to Chicago.

I knew a kid in high school who did this. He also whiped his ass with poison ivy. What and idiot ROFL

[ghak99]

A foreign exchange student from Spain in the middle of nowhere South Dakota... She was by far the dumbest human being I've ever met.

[Setsuna]

shouldn't that be !=

(old coding method)

Nerd...

[Dayze]

the other was, another sport bike related deal, was going out to K32 hwy...making a normal pass on a loooooong straigh with no side roads etc.....making a u-turn and going back.

then ratting through the gears getting the bike up to 159 indicated. hit a bump, head popped up a little above the wind screen and damn near sucked my helmet off.

...pucker factor.
again.....23 years old

[morphius]

Nerd...
"geek" is the preferred term, lol.

[morphius]

the other was, another sport bike related deal, was going out to K32 hwy...making a normal pass on a loooooong straigh with no side roads etc.....making a u-turn and going back.

then ratting through the gears getting the bike up to 159 indicated. hit a bump, head popped up a little above the wind screen and damn near sucked my helmet off.

...pucker factor.
again.....23 years old
Yeah, I did something similar. Sitting up straight on the bike at 120 because you feel you are going slow isn't all that bright, lol.

[Dayze]

Yeah, I did something similar. Sitting up straight on the bike at 120 because you feel you are going slow isn't all that bright, lol.

yep.
I hit that small, super small little bump and felt like my head was being sucked off (NTTWWT).
...It was at that moment, coincidently the same time my asshole puckered, that I thought "hmmm.....I may be going to fast".

lol

[InChiefsHeaven]

This one time, at band camp...

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Stuck my head in a microwave...

Still alive.

[InChiefsHeaven]

Went down to KC to watch the Chiefs vs Jags pre season game back in 2000. A couple of interesting things on that trip:

Beers at the stadium were 5 bucks. Drank many of them. Was down there with a bunch of non CHiefs fans. At the end of the game, decided to jump on the field to prove what a great fan I was or something. Game was over, but apparently that's frowned on by security. got taken to the ground by a large black man, who explained I was going to jail for trespassing. Luckily, he let me go once inside the tunnels.

Same night, met up with my buddies. We were staying at the holiday inn and wanted to go to the Adams Mark. Instead of crossing on the overpass, we ran across the interstate...drunk...in the dark. That might be the dumbest and scariest ass thing I've ever done.

Went to Westport. Watched them try to hit on the ladies. Never felt so old in my life, and I was only 30. What a fucked up scene.

Next morning drove back to Omaha just to meet a friend and turn around and go back to KC for the Iron Maiden concert.

Lot's of stupidity that weekend.

[Bane]

Fucked a stripper.

[Omaha]

I accidentally clicked on the BBW thread once. Good Lord, Hawk is a sick bastard.

[KurtCobain]

I accidentally clicked on the BBW thread once. Good Lord, Hawk is a sick bastard.

Hawk has become one of my favorites.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I walked in on a coworker once...

[Graystoke]

I walked in on a coworker once...

pICS or it didn't happen!

[Ace Gunner]

I became a chiefs fan.

[Fire Me Boy!]

pICS or it didn't happen!

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=110435

[Frazod]

Fucked a stripper.

Hell you say. That's a badge of honor. Most guys just go home and flog the bishop wishing they were fucking the stripper.

[The Rick]

Worked at a McDonald's in high school. Went out drinking one night after close with another guy and the night manager. We had a bottle of vodka and drunkenly got the bright idea to "break in" to the store to get some orange juice to go with our vodka. While there, we mixed our drinks, helped ourself to some food, then left.

Unfortunately, we accidentally left the empty vodka bottle sitting in plain sight on the front counter for all to see the next morning.

We lied about it at first and said someone came through the drive thru and left it or something, but eventually got busted.

[Discuss Thrower]

Sang Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream"

[InChiefsHeaven]

Worked at a McDonald's in high school. Went out drinking one night after close with another guy and the night manager. We had a bottle of vodka and drunkenly got the bright idea to "break in" to the store to get some orange juice to go with our vodka. While there, we mixed our drinks, helped ourself to some food, then left.

Unfortunately, we accidentally left the empty vodka bottle sitting in plain sight on the front counter for all to see the next morning.

We lied about it at first and said someone came through the drive thru and left it or something, but eventually got busted.

Ah, the crazy hijinks of the McDonalds employee. Actually, one of the best jobs I had as a kid. We had a blast!

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Several drunk posts on www.chiefsplanet.com

picked a career believing that loving what I do is more important that having plenty of money

[morphius]

yep.
I hit that small, super small little bump and felt like my head was being sucked off (NTTWWT).
...It was at that moment, coincidently the same time my asshole puckered, that I thought "hmmm.....I may be going to fast".

lol
Yeah, it was the one and only time I broke 150, didn't see a need to do it twice. Plus I preferred curves over boring straight line speed.

[saphojunkie]

Several drunk posts on www.chiefsplanet.com

picked a career believing that loving what I do is more important that having plenty of money

This wasn't stupid.

[raybec 4]

Several drunk posts on www.chiefsplanet.com

picked a career believing that loving what I do is more important that having plenty of money

Dumbest thing I ever did was pick a career for money over liking what I do

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

This wasn't stupid.

I know... but it feels stupid sometimes. Like now. When I'm too broke to take a poop.

[OnTheWarpath15]

I put my cat in the dryer once, for about 10 seconds.

MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*
MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW *THUD*

Fucker never scratched me again.

ROFL

[Fire Me Boy!]

ROFL

Yes, because animal abuse is HILARIOUS.

[Frazod]

Yes, because animal abuse is HILARIOUS.

Lighten up, Francis. It happened when I was kid and the cat was mean as hell anyway. It wasn't hurt, and seemed to learn an important life lesson about scratching people who were merely trying to pet it.

[Fritz88]

Hell you say. That's a badge of honor. Most guys just go home and flog the bishop wishing they were fucking the stripper.

Probably he forgot to mention the herpes part.
Posted via Mobile Device

[seclark]

kids that are mean to cats grow up to kill kitchen appliances.
sec

[Frazod]

kids that are mean to cats grow up to kill kitchen appliances.
sec

Not kill; just wing. :D

[Frazod]

Probably he forgot to mention the herpes part.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah, that sort of throws a wrench in things.

When my ship went to Rio back in '84, 125 of our 430 man crew ended up in the long line to medical. Most of us caught the garden variety curable kind, but one dude got herpes. Had a wife and two kids waiting for him back in Norfolk. Soon had alimony and child support payments to make. Ouch.

[Iowanian]

I once smashed a badger in it's den using only my whiskey-stiffened-man gland.


When drinking when I was younger, I just didn't know my own strength.

[Red Beans]

1. Rode shoeless on the hood of my buddy's grandma's car as he drunkenly tried to sling me off by rolling ditch to ditch on a gravel road at about 45 mph.

2. Did mushrooms and speed one evening. Ended up putting the shower curtian in the washing machine while listening to music on the house stereo, and my portable CD player simultaneously.

3. Pissed in the waitingroom water fountain of the Jasper County Jail while drunkenly waiting for my buddy to pay for a bench warrant. Also kept calling the guy running dispatch "Farva" until he responded by asking me if I'd like his foot up my ass.

4. Ate a small bag of coke to avoid arrest. Puked it up later that night and snorted it. Went to be shortly after. It had been a long night.

5. Countless, long, blackedout drunk roadtrips.

6. Ate mushrooms, drove to Branson, got lost, saw the sun come up somewhere near Marshall, MO the next morning. Drove through Jeff City at rushhour that morning...

[FishingRod]

Before being grown. Was sent to my room by my father so I slammed my door… then slammed it again… Then slammed it a 3rd time for effect. It had an effect. Stuck my head between a boat and the dock to look at the fish. Good thing the bumpers bounced it back out because ya can’t breathe when a boat pushes your throat against a dock.


As a grown up there are so many but how about telling the ex-wife. "Just have your lawyer write it up and I’ll sign it."

[Papi]

1. Rode shoeless on the hood of my buddy's grandma's car as he drunkenly tried to sling me off by rolling ditch to ditch on a gravel road at about 45 mph.

2. Did mushrooms and speed one evening. Ended up putting the shower curtian in the washing machine while listening to music on the house stereo, and my portable CD player simultaneously.

3. Pissed in the waitingroom water fountain of the Jasper County Jail while drunkenly waiting for my buddy to pay for a bench warrant. Also kept calling the guy running dispatch "Farva" until he responded by asking me if I'd like his foot up my ass.

4. Ate a small bag of coke to avoid arrest. Puked it up later that night and snorted it. Went to be shortly after. It had been a long night.

5. Countless, long, blackedout drunk roadtrips.

6. Ate mushrooms, drove to Branson, got lost, saw the sun come up somewhere near Marshall, MO the next morning. Drove through Jeff City at rushhour that morning...

Jesus, Hunter S. Thompson is that you? I thought you were dead...

[Ceej]

Moving to Emporia because I desperately wanted out of Topeka.

Sounds like a lateral movement; if that to me!!

[Red Beans]

Jesus, Hunter S. Thompson is that you? I thought you were dead...

Sweet Jesus man, tell me about the fucking golf shoes! Someone keeps giving booze to these goddamn animals!