PSA for husbands everywhere - Fifty Shades of Grey...

[Hawk]

Looking for a present for your wife for mother's day? Buy her the books series 50 Shades of Grey. Holy crap! My wife started reading those and all of a sudden she is a tiger in the sack, and is wanting it all the freakin time.

PSA for husbands everywhere: If your wife has not read these books, you can use the current trendiness of them to your advantage and get them for her for mother's day. She will love them, and even better, YOU will love her reaction to them. This author deserves a Pulitzer Prize for getting men everywhere laid in freaky fashion!! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

[kepp]

Just make sure not to buy "Fifty Shades of Ghey"

[NewChief]

Just watch out, or you may be dressed in a gimp outfit before long.

[In58men]

I just hit up my gf about it. We've been seeing some comments our friends be posting on Facebook.


She'll be buying it today. Good way to shut her up too.

[Hawk]

I just hit up my gf about it. We've been seeing some comments our friends be posting on Facebook.


She'll be buying it today. Good way to shut her up too.

Be ready for a fun weekend!

They are basically socially acceptable aphrodesiacs for housewives. Perfect Mother's Day present!

[ChiefRocka]

I'll take 50 shades of Grey


http://media.blurt-online.com/VDMhflqCmabF_m.jpg

[Fire Me Boy!]

I'll take 50 shades of Grey


http://media.blurt-online.com/VDMhflqCmabF_m.jpg

Dude. Not really safe for work.

[Bowser]

Dude. Not really safe for work.

Then don't browse ChiefsPlanet at work.

Stop sluffing off and get some fucking work done.

[Bowser]

Dude. Not really safe for work.

And that pic is more work safe than little 3 year old Timmy sucking on a tit, imo.

[siberian khatru]

<iframe id="NBC Video Widget" width="512" height="347" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1400037" frameborder="0"></iframe>

[Extra Point]

I'm going to wait until it comes out in library.

[Hawk]

Haha, that SNL ad is funny. Glad my wife is taking it out on me instead of herself!

[Easy 6]

<iframe id="NBC Video Widget" width="512" height="347" src="http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1400037" frameborder="0"></iframe>

This skit was the first i'd even heard of it, they way they made it look, it wasnt something very positive for the guys, they were being left out of everything.

Wont some enlightened individual give us a brief synopsis of what the heck this apparent phenomenon is all about?

[listopencil]

This skit was the first i'd even heard of it, they way they made it look, it wasnt something very positive for the guys, they were being left out of everything.

Wont some enlightened individual give us a brief synopsis of what the heck this apparent phenomenon is all about?

Literary fap material from a female's perspective.

[Easy 6]

Literary fap material from a female's perspective.

So its softcore porn, no thanx LMAO

[listopencil]

So its softcore porn, no thanx LMAO

It's literary. That doesn't make it soft core.

[RaiderH8r]

It's literary. That doesn't make it soft core.

Same thing as Penthouse Forum then.

[NewChief]

It's literary. That doesn't make it soft core.

No shit. Read Anais Nin, Autobiography of a Flea or any Victorian erotica, and you realize that seriously kinky shit has been going on for a long time. In fact, I'd say that they were much more liberal back int he day in some ways...

[go bo]

No shit. Read Anais Nin, Autobiography of a Flea or any Victorian erotica, and you realize that seriously kinky shit has been going on for a long time. In fact, I'd say that they were much more liberal back int he day in some ways...

yep, the '60's were truly wondrous... *sigh*

how i miss 'em...

[aturnis]

My fiance's been reading these. Just about to finish the second book. Domination and toys haven't really ever been her thing, but reading about what goes on in "the red room of pain" really gets her going. This book is definitely going to get you laid. Buy it for her...

[KCUnited]

Romeo's impressed.

[AustinChief]

I'm happy that this book is getting positive "results" for men... but wow, this just proves how immensely stupid most people are. The fucking book was originally written as TWILIGHT FAN FICTION. How low has society sunk that this tripe can become a best seller?

[Bump]

I always take women to musicals. That's a for sure blow job.

[AustinChief]

I always take women to musicals. That's a for sure blow job.

Yeah, back stage, from the male lead. What is wrong with you people!

[Brock]

I'm happy that this book is getting positive "results" for men... but wow, this just proves how immensely stupid most people are. The fucking book was originally written as TWILIGHT FAN FICTION. How low has society sunk that this tripe can become a best seller?

So....it's probably better than Twilight?

[AustinChief]

So....it's probably better than Twilight?

Can't imagine it could be worse.

[BigRedChief]

I'm happy that this book is getting positive "results" for men... but wow, this just proves how immensely stupid most people are. The fucking book was originally written as TWILIGHT FAN FICTION. How low has society sunk that this tripe can become a best seller?guilt free porn for surburban housewifes.

[Hawk]

So did this work for anyone? Still working for me, she is just about done with the second book.

Nobody is saying these books are the height of great literature, just something to potentially liven up your sex life a little if they have that effect on your woman. Plus their popularity, while perhaps silly to some, still gives you perfect cover to buy it for your lady when she may not normally appreciate a gift of literary porn.

[In58men]

So did this work for anyone? Still working for me, she is just about done with the second book.

Nobody is saying these books are the height of great literature, just something to potentially liven up your sex life a little if they have that effect on your woman. Plus their popularity, while perhaps silly to some, still gives you perfect cover to buy it for your lady when she may not normally appreciate a gift of literary porn.

Mine hasn't started yet.


Lazy bitch

[Mr. Plow]

I give the first 3 chapters two......uhhhh.....thumbs up. Trying to make sure the wife has time to read a few more chapters today.

[Marty Mac Ver 2.0]

Masks, paddles and gag balls :)

[aturnis]

If your s/o is done reading the 50 Shades books, my fiance just read another one that benefitted me. "Bared to You". Give it a shot.

Still living the dream.

[listopencil]

I'm happy that this book is getting positive "results" for men... but wow, this just proves how immensely stupid most people are. The ****ing book was originally written as TWILIGHT FAN FICTION. How low has society sunk that this tripe can become a best seller?

Well, honestly, I am surprised that so many couples seem to "need" the book. From what I can tell it offers inspiration to those who lack creativity.

[Chiefshrink]

guilt free porn for surburban housewifes.

Women much prefer to read porn than to see porn. And why this book is resonating among "soccer moms". :whackit:

I've always said, heterosexually speaking of course "What blow jobs are to a man is equivalent to what "Romance" is for a woman. Both are needed for a healthy marriage but very few get it the way they want it if at all for multiple reasons of selfishness because both acts are not emotionally or physically needed by either spouse. Some(husbands/wives) just fake it much better when their needs are met:D


Hence why all the romance novels your wives and GFs have read these past years because you weren't providing the romance she wanted thus you didn't get the dirty seductive erotica you crave that she does want to give, BUT you've got to romance from your heart and not your pecker and they can tell the difference in a heartbeat:D

[bevischief]

Well, honestly, I am surprised that so many couples seem to "need" the book. From what I can tell it offers inspiration to those who lack creativity.

Welcome to the midwest and a wife who went to Catholic schools for all her school time.

[Hoover]

Most of the women I know think the book is crap...

[Deberg_1990]

Who's in for the movie this weekend?

[Bowser]

I'm going to assume DeBerg lost his thread starting privileges. ROFL

[tecumseh]

My wife's a reader. I saw it in the library. Sounds like fun.

[Katipan]

The books were garbage. Really very much garbage.

Also this is the premise guys... Ok?

BROKEN man breaks other women and then buys them expensive stuff.

Not only is it not sexy to be dominated by a drowned rat but I don't wear jewelry and I don't really like helicopters.

Exit to Eden by Anne Rice. Broken woman breaks broken man. Doesn't buy him shit.

I hope you men all get it.

[WhiteWhale]

Yeah, I have a hard time respecting women who gush about this when I find out it's largely about S&M with a rapist.

Women's fantasies are a complete 180 degrees from perception.

[KCrockaholic]

I'll see it due to the woman. She's all excited. I couldn't give less of a fuck. Or maybe I will give a fuck. Afterwards.

[Simply Red]

Same thing as Penthouse Forum then.

Penthouse Forum and Letters gets a lot of love on CP over the years - have you noticed that?

[KCrockaholic]

Yeah, I have a hard time respecting women who gush about this when I find out it's largely about S&M with a rapist.

Women love the idea of being raped, but they don't actually want to be raped. Same with being choked.

[TimBone]

Women love the idea of being raped, but they don't actually want to be raped. Same with being choked.
They love the idea of being raped?

What?

[Katipan]

Penthouse Forum and Letters gets a lot of love on CP over the years - have you noticed that?

I have WAY more respect for the hot lady plumber with her pants falling off tripping over her snake and landing on her customer's than a remake of Pretty Woman with bondage.

[keg in kc]

Women love the idea of being raped, but they don't actually want to be raped. Same with being choked.
Congratulations! If you weren't on a watch list before, you are now.

[KCrockaholic]

I don't know how old you guys are, but maybe it's just a thing todays girls are into.

Maybe Katipan or Luv can help me here.

[Katipan]

The turn on is the idea that keg could be so full of passion for how incredibly sexy I am that he and the American Olympic Swimming Team can't go one more second before feeling the utter uniqueness that could only be my vagina.

I don't really think women are all that excited about a stranger attacking them in an alley. There are some, maybe a number that reaches thousands, but I don't think it's as common as other fantasies.

[KCrockaholic]

The turn on is the idea that keg could be so full of passion for how incredibly sexy I am that he and the American Olympic Swimming Team can't go one more second before feeling the utter uniqueness that could only be my vagina.

I don't really think women are all that excited about a stranger attacking them in an alley. There are some, maybe a number that reaches thousands, but I don't think it's as common as other fantasies.

Certainly not a stranger. But the idea that they don't have control turns them on, hence, the "rape" play, and light choking.

[keg in kc]

I had an ex into rape fantasy. I still wouldn't paint all women by her brush.

If you're seeing that a lot it might say as much about you and the kind of women you're drawn to.

[KCrockaholic]

I had an ex into rape fantasy. I still wouldn't paint all women by her brush.

If you're seeing that a lot it might say as much about you and the kind of women you're drawn to.

I like the filthy women.

[booger]

Somebody say udders?

[Simply Red]

I have WAY more respect for the hot lady plumber with her pants falling off tripping over her snake and landing on her customer's than a remake of Pretty Woman with bondage.

Yes - Porn is still cool - but I cut way way back. I'm looking for something meaning full. I wish I could say I had so much sex I'm tired of it and want more - but that'd just be an exaggeration and simply inaccurate. I guess I'm getting old sort of - I just want something solid.

Did you ever see that Married With Children porn spoof? Hilarious stuff.

[Katipan]

Certainly not a stranger. But the idea that they don't have control turns them on, hence, the "rape" play, and light choking.

I agree that women can find a lack of control appealing, but you're taking a broad jump to indicate rape in any of them.

Sometimes I like it when my guy orders my dinner for me.

[KCrockaholic]

I agree that women can find a lack of control appealing, but you're taking a broad jump to indicate rape in any of them.

Sometimes I like it when my guy orders my dinner for me.

Maybe rape was a strong word on my part. But something similar to a lesser form with a person they already trusted to begin with.

[booger]

I may choke the bishop later how's that for bondage?

[keg in kc]

The turn on is the idea that keg could be so full of passion for how incredibly sexy I am that he and the American Olympic Swimming Team can't go one more second before feeling the utter uniqueness that could only be my vagina.So many directions to go with this. I'm almost brain frozen figuring how you, me and the swim team end up in one place. I'm guessing Phelps brings you some primo, they all pop out of his prius like it's a clown car, aliens abduct me and drop me off in the wrong state, I knock on the nearest door and the orgy's just getting going.

Somebody in the valley's gonna owe me some royalties after this idea sweeps the avn awards next year.

[Katipan]

Maybe rape was a strong word on my part. But something similar to a lesser form with a person they already trusted to begin with.

Do you know why we let you put it in the butt? There's no denying it can feel good, or homosexuals would play a lot more scrabble or cards or something. But the porn star level of prep work any woman worth a damn goes through before, and the quiet expulsion of any evidence of the act afterwards, is a monumental amount of work. Not really worth the feel goods.

But it's naughty. And dangerous. So women bend over. Or if they're smart they lay on their backs, put a pillow under their hips and get all sorts of attended to. But they do it because they're dirty little hamsters.

[ThaVirus]

You two might as well fuck and get it over with.

[KCrockaholic]

Do you know why we let you put it in the butt? There's no denying it can feel good, or homosexuals would play a lot more scrabble or cards or something. But the porn star level of prep work any woman worth a damn goes through before, and the quiet expulsion of any evidence of the act afterwards, is a monumental amount of work. Not really worth the feel goods.

But it's naughty. And dangerous. So women bend over. Or if they're smart they lay on their backs, put a pillow under their hips and get all sorts of attended to. But they do it because they're dirty little hamsters.

First time I PIIHB was on her parents living room floor, spoon style.

[Katipan]

First time I PIIHB was on her parents living room floor, spoon style.

That's the most romantic thing I've ever read.

[Katipan]

So many directions to go with this. I'm almost brain frozen figuring how you, me and the swim team end up in one place. I'm guessing Phelps brings you some primo, they all pop out of his prius like it's a clown car, aliens abduct me and drop me off in the wrong state, I knock on the nearest door and the orgy's just getting going.

Somebody in the valley's gonna owe me some royalties after this idea sweeps the avn awards next year.

Bring pizza.

[Bowser]

It's "rolls the bean, asshole". Correct?

[KCrockaholic]

That's the most romantic thing I've ever read.

So romantic she cried. At least I think that's why she was crying.

[Katipan]

It's "rolls the bean, asshole". Correct?

It would behoove it in that circumstance to do it.

But not me.

[keg in kc]

Bring pizza.I was thinking I'd bring lube. Sure pizza would be kinky but it might cause an infection and it'd still be like boning sandpaper by the time you finish off that third relay team.

[booger]

You two might as well **** and get it over with.

This

50 thrusts of keg

[Katipan]

I was thinking I'd bring lube. Sure pizza would be kinky but it might cause an infection and it'd still be like boning sandpaper by the time you finish off that third relay team.

It's for me to eat while I watch them show you the backstroke.

[Bowser]

The wife read the first one. She said it was laughably terribad.

Single friend of mine said he was going to go hang out outside of Barrywoods 24 for when this movie let out twirling a set of handcuffs on his finger, lol. Told him it might work - kind of like waiting outside the strip club when the Chippendales were in town, haha.

[TimBone]

Maybe rape was a strong word on my part. But something similar to a lesser form with a person they already trusted to begin with.

I can agree with the lack of control thing. My wife digs that from time to time, and previous girls did as well.

Rape was a strong word, but I get what you're saying now.

[Katipan]

The wife read the first one. She said it was laughably terribad.

Single friend of mine said he was going to go hang out outside of Barrywoods 24 for when this movie let out twirling a set of handcuffs on his finger, lol. Told him it might work - kind of like waiting outside the strip club when the Chippendales were in town, haha.

All he has to say is "Later's baby"

[keg in kc]

This

50 thrusts of kegThat's the short story version.

It ends awkwardly and abruptly, leaving no one satisfied.

[keg in kc]

It's for me to eat while I watch them show you the backstroke.I knew there was a reason the women's team was there.

[Bowser]

I can agree with the lack of control thing. My wife digs that from time to time, and previous girls did as well.

Rape was a strong word, but I get what you're saying now.

That's the whole fucking book from what I understand - attractive, young, rich boss takes total control of naïve woman, makes her feel alive.

Waiting to see the lines of feminists protesting this flick.

[booger]

That's the short story version.

It ends awkwardly and abruptly, leaving no one satisfied.

Pull her hair then slap her ass and make seal noises then you both get to pound the pizza box. Everyone wins. :thumb:

[Deberg_1990]

Someone mentioned in another thread that some theaters were covering their seats in plastic. Wut?

[booger]

Someone mentioned in another thread that some theaters were covering their seats in plastic. Wut?

Either that or put out the no squirters sign

[KCrockaholic]

Someone mentioned in another thread that some theaters were covering their seats in plastic. Wut?

Gotta be a joke?

[keg in kc]

So who's going to be the first victi- I mean first planeteer to post a review?

Has to be somebody dragged to it tonight.

[KCrockaholic]

So who's going to be the first victi- I mean first planeteer to post a review?

Has to be somebody dragged to it tonight.

No way anybody will have time to post on here tonight after the movie. Hard to type when you have on chinese handcuffs attached to the bedpost.

[Bowser]

So who's going to be the first victi- I mean first planeteer to post a review?

Has to be somebody dragged to it tonight.

Shit, DeBerg will live post from the theater.

[ChiefsCountry]

Hell how horny those books make chicks it might be smart for us single guys to hang out at that movie.

[ILChief]

Someone mentioned in another thread that some theaters were covering their seats in plastic. Wut?

Peewee Herman going to the show?

[Rain Man]

Someone mentioned in another thread that some theaters were covering their seats in plastic. Wut?

And they don't during Halle Berry movies? What are they thinking?

[Crush]

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

After having my vibrator crater raided, he then proceeded to thrust my cocoa channel. I can't wait to chow down on the steamin' semen from his spunk-filled spam rocket. Inserting a barbie doll into my kipper dinghy got me spraying fallopian fish stock faster than snot off a whip. The plowing of my vintage golf bag was so vigorous, he soon found his salty protein grapes joining his master of ceremonies deep in my shit winker. When he removed his clunger from my Mavis Fritter, he was pleasantly surprised to see a corn-eyed butt snake staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the toilet twinkie off his Ocean's 11 Inches.

[TimBone]

That's the whole fucking book from what I understand - attractive, young, rich boss takes total control of naïve woman, makes her feel alive.

Waiting to see the lines of feminists protesting this flick.
What I don't like is that women find men revolting for liking porn, but will line up at the theater for shit like this and Magic Mike, and somehow that's perfectly fine?

C'mon' man!

[Bambi]

Watch a real S&M film...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AFma24S-Uvw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Bambi]

What I don't like is that women find men revolting for liking porn, but will line up at the theater for shit like this and Magic Mike, and somehow that's perfectly fine?

C'mon' man!

Magic Mike was a great movie.

[Bambi]

What I don't like is that women find men revolting for liking porn, but will line up at the theater for shit like this and Magic Mike, and somehow that's perfectly fine?

C'mon' man!

However you're making quite a stretch equating 50 Shades and Magic Mike to your typical youporn clip.

Come on man...

[Hammock Parties]

This dumb movie is going to result in a lot of divorces and breakups.

Bitches always wanting the fantasy and not appreciating the reality.

[TimBone]

Magic Mike was a great movie.
lol
However you're making quite a stretch equating 50 Shades and Magic Mike to your typical youporn clip.

Come on man...
Don't be ridiculous.....I use tubegalore.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Magic Mike was a great movie.

ROFL

[Titty Meat]

So 50 shades of grey is about some head case chick who gets emotionally raped against her will by a rich douchebag?

[Imon Yourside]

So 50 shades of grey is about some head case chick who gets emotionally raped against her will by a rich douchebag?

Every psycho sluts dream fo' shiz.

[Iconic]

Bitches always wanting the fantasy and not appreciating the reality.

In a nutshell.

They don't want their 50 pound overweight husband who looks like fucking Gargamel doing that shit to them. It's not the same, at least not unless you're the CEO of a fortune 500 company or have the looks of Tom Hardy.

[007]

In a nutshell.

They don't want their 50 pound overweight husband who looks like ****ing Gargamel doing that shit to them. It's not the same, at least not unless you're the CEO of a fortune 500 company or have the looks of Tom Hardy.

I always get a kick of my wife watching Bachelor. I like to crash her little girl party to comment on the hot chicks on the show. When she gets upset I remind her why she is watching in the first place and I get a quick "shut up." LMAO

[Kman34]

I always get a kick of my wife watching Bachelor. I like to crash her little girl party to comment on the hot chicks on the show. When she gets upset I remind her why she is watching in the first place and I get a quick "shut up." LMAO

And remind her its all fake and predetermined ..... She will appreciate that just like my wife does... one of the worst shows ever..LMAO

[Eleazar]

I always get a kick of my wife watching Bachelor. I like to crash her little girl party to comment on the hot chicks on the show. When she gets upset I remind her why she is watching in the first place and I get a quick "shut up." LMAO

LMAO

"Wow, look at that girl's body. Do you think you could look like that honey, if you exercised a little? Or is your body just completely past that now?"

[Tonka83]

This thread has confused me to the point that I will probably no longer be able to achieve a boner.















































Thank god for Cialis.

[Lzen]

Yeah, I have a hard time respecting women who gush about this when I find out it's largely about S&M with a rapist.

Women's fantasies are a complete 180 degrees from perception.

Agreed.

[Lzen]

I always get a kick of my wife watching Bachelor. I like to crash her little girl party to comment on the hot chicks on the show. When she gets upset I remind her why she is watching in the first place and I get a quick "shut up." LMAO

Hmmm, then I guess I should be appreciative of the fact that my wife likes to watch cooking channel 24/7.

[Easy 6]

We'll see just how much women love this movie when their husbands start trying to shove things up their ass and choke **** them.

"I, er... I thought this was what you wanted hun?!"

"NO STOP IT GODDAMMIT!"

[Deberg_1990]

Post your reviews guys!

[keg in kc]

Hmmm, then I guess I should be appreciative of the fact that my wife likes to watch cooking channel 24/7.Quoting this for when you reconsider that stance 150 pounds later.

[Discuss Thrower]

We'll see just how much women love this movie when their husbands start trying to shove things up their ass and choke **** them.

"I, er... I thought this was what you wanted hun?!"

"NO STOP IT GODDAMMIT!"

I thought choking during sex was pretty common...

[keg in kc]

I thought choking during sex was pretty common...We're talking Bored Depressed Soccer Mom sex here.

[Easy 6]

I thought choking during sex was pretty common...

I've had a few girlfriends that liked that rough stuff... but my x marriage of nearly 13 years?

NO.

I would think most marriages after a certain point in time are past that point of needing control/power trips and other assorted weirdness to get off.

STOP IT! is what I would expect to hear in any long time marriage LMAO