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View Full Version : Funny Stuff Friday Night Joke Thread


pimpchief
09-14-2012, 08:02 PM
Anybody have some good ones? I need a good laugh.

pimpchief
09-14-2012, 08:03 PM
Where do you find a dog with no legs?

pimpchief
09-14-2012, 08:07 PM
Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Wherever you left it.

Boss Hog
09-14-2012, 08:11 PM
I thought I farted but I shit my pants.

Psyko Tek
09-14-2012, 08:23 PM
what is the difference between meat and fish?

Nightfyre
09-14-2012, 08:23 PM
Anybody have some good ones? I need a good laugh.

Just turn on the Royals game. o:-)

Psyko Tek
09-14-2012, 08:24 PM
I thought I farted but I shit my pants.

shart attack!!!!

Luke Warm
09-14-2012, 08:28 PM
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Go fuck yourself!

- Tom Hanks in "Catch Me If You Can"

Psyko Tek
09-14-2012, 08:31 PM
if you beat your fish it will die

Bowser
09-14-2012, 08:31 PM
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Bowser
09-14-2012, 08:31 PM
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Go fuck yourself!

- Tom Hanks in "Catch Me If You Can"

You asshole.

Nzoner
09-14-2012, 08:34 PM
What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job?


"Ill have a Big Mac, fries and a coke, please."

Nzoner
09-14-2012, 08:36 PM
Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. The second Surgeon says, Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order. The third Surgeon says, Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded. The fourth Surgeon says, I prefer Raiders fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.

pimpchief
09-14-2012, 08:36 PM
What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job?


"Ill have a Big Mac, fries and a coke, please."

Oh! That was killer!!

Nightfyre
09-14-2012, 08:36 PM
Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered. The second Surgeon says, Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order. The third Surgeon says, Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded. The fourth Surgeon says, I prefer Raiders fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.

LMAO Holy shit...

Luke Warm
09-14-2012, 08:40 PM
What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job?


"Ill have a Big Mac, fries and a coke, please."

ROFL. Fucking awesome, sir.

Luke Warm
09-14-2012, 08:41 PM
You asshole.

LMAO sorry.

In58men
09-14-2012, 09:13 PM
Q: What do you call a one eyed deer?

A: No eye deer

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

A: Still no I deer

Q: What do you call a virgin deer with no eyes or legs

A: Still no ****ing I deer

Bugeater
09-14-2012, 09:15 PM
Knock knock

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

Your mom's a whore.

lewdog
09-14-2012, 09:17 PM
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!

lewdog
09-14-2012, 09:18 PM
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Aaron!
Aaron who!
Aaron on the side of caution!

lewdog
09-14-2012, 09:18 PM
Here is a knock knock joke for Raider Fans



Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abyssinia!
Abyssinia who?
Abyssinia behind bars one of these days!

In58men
09-14-2012, 09:22 PM
Knock knock
Who's there?
Little boy blue
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson

Luke Warm
09-14-2012, 09:48 PM
What's the difference between Bugeater and a bucket of shit?









The bucket.

Canofbier
09-15-2012, 09:14 AM
It ain't Friday anymore, but what the hell.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef!


What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff!

OR

Beef jerky!

Bump
09-15-2012, 09:17 AM
did you hear about that 5 car pile up in Mexico?

Sad, 150 people died.

Rasputin
09-15-2012, 09:26 AM
http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w53/michaelac_photos/borat.jpg

pimpchief
09-15-2012, 11:01 AM
Cripple jokes are so mean, I can't stand them.

pimpchief
09-15-2012, 11:02 AM
What's big white and can kill you if it falls from a tree?

pimpchief
09-15-2012, 11:02 AM
A fridge.

Chiefs Pantalones
09-15-2012, 11:04 AM
Where can't you hide Raiders season tickets?

Behind a high school diploma.

pimpchief
09-15-2012, 11:06 AM
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike?

Because he was shot three times.

pimpchief
09-15-2012, 11:09 AM
What do you call a man with no arms or legs that is water skiing?

I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

Baby Lee
09-15-2012, 11:16 AM
Knock knock
Who's there?
Little boy blue
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson

Little boy blue , . . . HE NEEDED THE MONEY!!!! Chhooowww-hooooo!! Weeegiggidy-giggedygeee.

HIH-cory, DIH-cory DOC . . .

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