gblowfish
10-14-2012, 06:33 PM
Ten Things About Today's Game
10. The sooner you accept the season is over, the more you can just enjoy the gallows humor. I knew we'd lose today. The Chiefs haven't won in Tampa since Montana beat them there opening day 1993. Chiefs traditionally play like crap in Florida anyway. This team is Herm 2-14 bad. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll get past it and enjoy the comedy that is Chiefs Planet, and the tragedy that is Chiefs Football.
9. I really enjoyed sitting in on the CP game thread today. It's a lot of fun. I only get to do it on road games. It's like sitting in a big rec room full of Chiefs fans who really give a damn about what is happening. The wives are all out in the kitchen talking about kids and shopping, the rec room is just us fans. The game threads are usually about 200 pages long. Much too long to read if you start stem to stern. So this week, I'm going to give you the speed reading version of what the CP's game thread is like, starting from before the game, to the end of the game. You can feel the love (or lack thereof), and the emotional roller coaster as the game unfolds. And, my dear CP brethren, this is all in your own words. So give yourselves a high five, your words speak volumes:
8. Pregame (I LOVE the pregame optimism)
• "I always get frustrated with this team and say shit like "I'm done with this team." I never follow through, I've been addicted too long. However, if this ****ing team comes out tomorrow and rushes fifty times while throwing seven times against THIS defense, **** it, I'm out until Pioli is gone. I swear to God." -Mr. Flopnuts
• "Quinning! Chiefs 24, Bucs 12" -Unsmooth Moment
• "Brady Croyle will rally the troops." - Touchdown Kansas City
7. First Quarter, game begins:
• "I'm going to start in on the beers right now, before I've even eaten, that way by the time the game is over; I'll be oblivious to it all." Scott Free
• "Classic Chiefs start. Easy three and out, give up great field position to opponents." - Lewdog
• "Wow, what a play. Houston developing into a stud." - Kev B
• "Our first lead of the season maybe? Woot!" - Glory Dayz
• "Quinterception!!!!!!!" - cdcox
• "Apparently Jonathan Hayes is our hands coach." - suzzer99
• "Classic Belcher. He's in position to make a big play, but doesn't have the capacity, or in this case, the awareness to make it." - Beer Bacon
• "Another helmet ripped off with no flag. Thank god we got the real refs back." - Bugeater
• "Yay...more video of Winston slandering all Chiefs fans, with Clark and Scott's approval..." - Talking Can
• "This is like watching old people f*ck." - DeezNutz (this, btw, was my favorite comment all day).
• "Every single game this year I can hear the Benny Hill theme running in my head"- Iron Chief
• "The Hell with this whack ass team. I'm gonna watch this idiot jump to his death from the edge of space."- Scalper
• "Outscored 55-6 in the first quarter this year. We have half-tards coaching this team. Unacceptable....nice box of steaming poo this product is" - DJJasonp
6. Second quarter, game is still close at 7-0 Bucs:
• "And another helmet comes off..." - Coach
• "Discount helmets from Clark." - KCUnited
• "Daboll has the most unimaginative play calling ever. lol Some of his plays are complete ass." - Fruit Ninja
• "Whew! Thank God we only got three, we wouldn't wanna try to get a TD." - Honey Badger
• "Illegal wedge wtf? Now they are just making shit up" - TribalElder (Note: more like "Illegal Wedgie").
• "Flowers getting owned." - ReerunKC
• "Defense is an embarrassment. Six first rounders, three second rounders, total suckage." -jspchief
• "Doink!" - Dartgod (TB's first field goal attempt.)
• "OMAHA!!!! That's an audible to get stuffed behind the line right?" - Kaplin42
• "OMAHA" is fancy football code for "five yard loss"- Mugalug
• "And we punt? GTFO out if here RAC, you scared pussy"- petegz28
5. Halftime, Chiefs down 7-3. Game is still in doubt. Who will make the adjustments?
• "On pace to score six points for the second week in a row. Awesome!" -texaschiefsfan
• "We've had the ball for 22 minutes and only 123 yards to show for it. Pathetic." - bricks
• "That's the game...Now that the Bucs O-Coordinator knows we have crap secondary and can't get to his QB they're going to throw all day long..." - Ringleader
• "Shufflin' off to Omaha." - Fax
• "Lol at this team not having lead at any point this season. They've had so many opportunities but have always failed and failed worse." - Buckweath
• "Quinterpicksix!!!!!!" - cdcox
• "I sure am glad we're playing the 32nd ranked pass D" - Flachief58
• "Nothing like game planning around a one armed midget." - tonyetony
• "I'm not sure i have ever seen a team in my 43 years of pro football drop, tip, and fumble so many God Dam MFing passes to losr games. Our receivers have butterfingers!!! - scho63
• "Lady luck for the Chiefs is actually a 400 lb nymphomaniac cell mate."- Gary
• "Get this: We are being out-coached/schemed by Greg Schiano." - WilliamInnnerCircle
• "Saddest part? Quinn is still better than Cassel." - Carlota69
4. Fourth Quarter: KC down 21-3:
• "The Brownsification of the Chiefs continues." - Beer Bacon
• "Daboll is an idiot. We all knew he would suck with his shit resume." - Tuckdaddy
• "We are awesome at punting." - Wazu
• "This O line is disgusting" - Bob Dole
• "It seriously looks like they're TRYING to lose. It's stunning." - chief103182
• "Thank Christ we have a bye next week, I need a break. I don't think I can watch another week of this." - KCtotheSB
• "Screw the banner, hire a kamikaze pilot." - ping2000 (Note: that's funny right there...)
3. Chiefs block a punt to actually score a TD:
• "That might be the coolest ****ing play ever if goes down as a touchdown." - A Salt Weapon
• "Apparently the special teams scrubs are the only ones who showed up to play today.' - Bugeater
2. Tampa Bay piles on two late TDs to make the score a greater embarrassment:
• "Every single time we get going some crazy shit happens. It's AMAZING. I've never seen anything like it." - Beach Tribe
• "Do we have enough money in the account to get the Bucs to aim the cannon at our sideline?" - ping2000 (note: my second favorite comment today)
• "Tampa has 456 yards on us today" - Straight No Chaser
• "It's funny to see us getting clowned by a team that is playing in front of an empty stadium.' - Gabbaan
1. So, there you have it. We're 1-5. GBlowfish "mails it in" this week by letting the CP game thread write the commentary. I think it's pretty much spot on. So pat yourselves on the back CP. Forget about these losing wastes of skin in red uni's for a couple weeks, and try to look on the bright side of life...ba bum, ba bump a bump a bum... I refuse to invest anything more emotionally this year. I'm played out. Just can't do it. How about you?
10. The sooner you accept the season is over, the more you can just enjoy the gallows humor. I knew we'd lose today. The Chiefs haven't won in Tampa since Montana beat them there opening day 1993. Chiefs traditionally play like crap in Florida anyway. This team is Herm 2-14 bad. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll get past it and enjoy the comedy that is Chiefs Planet, and the tragedy that is Chiefs Football.
9. I really enjoyed sitting in on the CP game thread today. It's a lot of fun. I only get to do it on road games. It's like sitting in a big rec room full of Chiefs fans who really give a damn about what is happening. The wives are all out in the kitchen talking about kids and shopping, the rec room is just us fans. The game threads are usually about 200 pages long. Much too long to read if you start stem to stern. So this week, I'm going to give you the speed reading version of what the CP's game thread is like, starting from before the game, to the end of the game. You can feel the love (or lack thereof), and the emotional roller coaster as the game unfolds. And, my dear CP brethren, this is all in your own words. So give yourselves a high five, your words speak volumes:
8. Pregame (I LOVE the pregame optimism)
• "I always get frustrated with this team and say shit like "I'm done with this team." I never follow through, I've been addicted too long. However, if this ****ing team comes out tomorrow and rushes fifty times while throwing seven times against THIS defense, **** it, I'm out until Pioli is gone. I swear to God." -Mr. Flopnuts
• "Quinning! Chiefs 24, Bucs 12" -Unsmooth Moment
• "Brady Croyle will rally the troops." - Touchdown Kansas City
7. First Quarter, game begins:
• "I'm going to start in on the beers right now, before I've even eaten, that way by the time the game is over; I'll be oblivious to it all." Scott Free
• "Classic Chiefs start. Easy three and out, give up great field position to opponents." - Lewdog
• "Wow, what a play. Houston developing into a stud." - Kev B
• "Our first lead of the season maybe? Woot!" - Glory Dayz
• "Quinterception!!!!!!!" - cdcox
• "Apparently Jonathan Hayes is our hands coach." - suzzer99
• "Classic Belcher. He's in position to make a big play, but doesn't have the capacity, or in this case, the awareness to make it." - Beer Bacon
• "Another helmet ripped off with no flag. Thank god we got the real refs back." - Bugeater
• "Yay...more video of Winston slandering all Chiefs fans, with Clark and Scott's approval..." - Talking Can
• "This is like watching old people f*ck." - DeezNutz (this, btw, was my favorite comment all day).
• "Every single game this year I can hear the Benny Hill theme running in my head"- Iron Chief
• "The Hell with this whack ass team. I'm gonna watch this idiot jump to his death from the edge of space."- Scalper
• "Outscored 55-6 in the first quarter this year. We have half-tards coaching this team. Unacceptable....nice box of steaming poo this product is" - DJJasonp
6. Second quarter, game is still close at 7-0 Bucs:
• "And another helmet comes off..." - Coach
• "Discount helmets from Clark." - KCUnited
• "Daboll has the most unimaginative play calling ever. lol Some of his plays are complete ass." - Fruit Ninja
• "Whew! Thank God we only got three, we wouldn't wanna try to get a TD." - Honey Badger
• "Illegal wedge wtf? Now they are just making shit up" - TribalElder (Note: more like "Illegal Wedgie").
• "Flowers getting owned." - ReerunKC
• "Defense is an embarrassment. Six first rounders, three second rounders, total suckage." -jspchief
• "Doink!" - Dartgod (TB's first field goal attempt.)
• "OMAHA!!!! That's an audible to get stuffed behind the line right?" - Kaplin42
• "OMAHA" is fancy football code for "five yard loss"- Mugalug
• "And we punt? GTFO out if here RAC, you scared pussy"- petegz28
5. Halftime, Chiefs down 7-3. Game is still in doubt. Who will make the adjustments?
• "On pace to score six points for the second week in a row. Awesome!" -texaschiefsfan
• "We've had the ball for 22 minutes and only 123 yards to show for it. Pathetic." - bricks
• "That's the game...Now that the Bucs O-Coordinator knows we have crap secondary and can't get to his QB they're going to throw all day long..." - Ringleader
• "Shufflin' off to Omaha." - Fax
• "Lol at this team not having lead at any point this season. They've had so many opportunities but have always failed and failed worse." - Buckweath
• "Quinterpicksix!!!!!!" - cdcox
• "I sure am glad we're playing the 32nd ranked pass D" - Flachief58
• "Nothing like game planning around a one armed midget." - tonyetony
• "I'm not sure i have ever seen a team in my 43 years of pro football drop, tip, and fumble so many God Dam MFing passes to losr games. Our receivers have butterfingers!!! - scho63
• "Lady luck for the Chiefs is actually a 400 lb nymphomaniac cell mate."- Gary
• "Get this: We are being out-coached/schemed by Greg Schiano." - WilliamInnnerCircle
• "Saddest part? Quinn is still better than Cassel." - Carlota69
4. Fourth Quarter: KC down 21-3:
• "The Brownsification of the Chiefs continues." - Beer Bacon
• "Daboll is an idiot. We all knew he would suck with his shit resume." - Tuckdaddy
• "We are awesome at punting." - Wazu
• "This O line is disgusting" - Bob Dole
• "It seriously looks like they're TRYING to lose. It's stunning." - chief103182
• "Thank Christ we have a bye next week, I need a break. I don't think I can watch another week of this." - KCtotheSB
• "Screw the banner, hire a kamikaze pilot." - ping2000 (Note: that's funny right there...)
3. Chiefs block a punt to actually score a TD:
• "That might be the coolest ****ing play ever if goes down as a touchdown." - A Salt Weapon
• "Apparently the special teams scrubs are the only ones who showed up to play today.' - Bugeater
2. Tampa Bay piles on two late TDs to make the score a greater embarrassment:
• "Every single time we get going some crazy shit happens. It's AMAZING. I've never seen anything like it." - Beach Tribe
• "Do we have enough money in the account to get the Bucs to aim the cannon at our sideline?" - ping2000 (note: my second favorite comment today)
• "Tampa has 456 yards on us today" - Straight No Chaser
• "It's funny to see us getting clowned by a team that is playing in front of an empty stadium.' - Gabbaan
1. So, there you have it. We're 1-5. GBlowfish "mails it in" this week by letting the CP game thread write the commentary. I think it's pretty much spot on. So pat yourselves on the back CP. Forget about these losing wastes of skin in red uni's for a couple weeks, and try to look on the bright side of life...ba bum, ba bump a bump a bum... I refuse to invest anything more emotionally this year. I'm played out. Just can't do it. How about you?