This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public%20Interest/BookingInfo.aspx?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[In58men]

We need some more official threads:


*****OFFICIAL FLORIDA NEWS THREAD*****

*****OFFICIAL SCHOOL SHOOTING THREAD*****

[Rasputin]

Just make a ** 2013 repository Florida news thread ** gblowfish that can be bump with florida news.

[BigRedChief]

Just make a ** 2013 repository Florida news thread ** gblowfish that can be bump with florida news.I already created a weird news from florida thread. Never gets used.

[seclark]

I already created a weird news from florida thread. Never gets used.

too broad a topic.
sec

[Fish]

Hey baby....

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/9185/011413mugshotmarymalone.jpg

[seclark]

Hey baby....

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/9185/011413mugshotmarymalone.jpg

cop turned down the bj but took her up on using her left eye for an ashtray.
sec

[BlackHelicopters]

That blowing the cop thing rarely works.

[seclark]

That blowing the cop thing rarely works.

especially if you're sporting a canker at 5 o'clock.
sec

[Rain Man]

I already created a weird news from florida thread. Never gets used.

DaFace doesn't like it when a thread gets so big that you can't load it quickly.

[BlackHelicopters]

especially if you're sporting a canker at 5 o'clock.
sec

Yeah, that her only drawback.

[Skyy God]

How could the cop refuse an offer like that??

[Bwana]

LMAO

[TribalElder]

especially if you're sporting a canker at 5 o'clock.
sec

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL:clap:

That's just awesome

LOL

[Psyko Tek]

she is at least 30 years to late on that offer

[-King-]

You really hate Florida don't you?

[gblowfish]

Today's Fun Florida News:

Homeless Dude Drives Drunk INSIDE Wal-Mart!


http://tinyurl.com/a2pm69y

Timothy Carr has been charged with disorderly intoxication and retail theft.
Always low prices. Always Florida.

Florida man Timothy Carr was arrested after allegedly driving drunk inside a Walmart. Police say Carr, a transient, was spotted around 9 p.m. Sunday drunk and behind the wheel of a motorized shopping cart, WFLA reports.

While driving the cart, Carr was allegedly drinking an alcoholic beverage he had taken off the shelf inside the store. He was knocking items off of shelves as he drove, according to police.

Carr allegedly told police he was a transient, and that he did not have money to pay for the alcohol. He was arrested on charges of disorderly intoxication and retail theft, according to WFLX. Because he has been arrested twice before for retail theft, this arrest was a felony.

Carr is by no means the first to be accused of driving drunk in a vehicle that's far from street-legal. In May, Joe Bruss pleaded guilty to driving a Zamboni drunk while cleaning the ice for pee-wee hockey players in Minnesota.

And in 2009, Kile Wygle was charged with drunk driving after allegedly crashing a motorized bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.

[gblowfish]

Dear Abby Discusses Florida Family Values:

http://news.yahoo.com/sister-open-marriage-takes-sharing-too-far-050021131.html

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.

Melanie's argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation. When I asked her and Sam about it, he said it wasn't his idea. My current husband says any man who would refuse this "set-up" would be nuts. Alicia claims she "doesn't have time" to date right now, and after she finishes her MBA, she'll seek out a more normal relationship.

I am distraught about this mess. Melanie says she wants to start a family soon. She says she loves Sam, who can "handle everything," and she enjoys seeing "everyone happy." She says Alicia won't sleep around now and, maybe, one day she'll marry a handsome man like Sam who will "return the favor"!

I can't believe these girls are my daughters. Should I continue to protest or let it go? Is this relaxed attitude about sex prevalent in young people today? I cannot understand Melanie's lack of desire to defend her turf. --

HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR MOM: Your daughters appear to be into the concept of open marriage. Clearly, they do not view marriage and relationships the same way you do.
Melanie is naive to think that encouraging Sam to have a sexual relationship with her sister will discourage him from seeking other partners. Far from it. And as for her wanting to start a family, has she considered what will happen if her husband impregnates Alicia at the same time -- or first?

But back to your question: Are you right to protest? You certainly are. That's what mothers are for -- to inject a dose of sanity when everyone around her is losing theirs.

[scho63]

Dear Abby Discusses Florida Family Values:

http://news.yahoo.com/sister-open-marriage-takes-sharing-too-far-050021131.html

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an extremely attractive and successful man.

My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam.


I literally just read this story 2 minutes ago on Yahoo news and was going to post it here for you! ROFL

That's one lucky dude if these girls are really as hot as Mom says but I have my doubts......

[KChiefer]

To be fair, it's their mother that's calling them "attractive."

Dang it, u beat me.

[Tactical Funky]

...and I'm moving to this state in T-minus two weeks. Welp. At least the scenery is nice.

[Setsuna]

These are the weakest ones you've come up with yet. You've officially lost your burst. Pathetic.

[gblowfish]

These are the weakest ones you've come up with yet. You've officially lost your burst. Pathetic.

I am very confident that Florida will pick up their burst very soon. They don't go very long without a brain bending news story.

[BigMeatballDave]

...and I'm moving to this state in T-minus two weeks. Welp. At least the scenery is nice.

I'll take all the weird news, you people up north can have the snow and cold.

It's sunny and 66 in the middle of February. :)

[gblowfish]

Cat Piss and Cock Roaches!

Two parents in Beverly Hills, Fla., have been charged with child abuse for allegedly raising their 9-year-old son in a filthy home and denying him sufficient food and medicine.

A school nurse found a cockroach in the child's ear in September and, on another occasion, other school officials saw roaches crawling out of his backpack, Citrus Daily reported.

Citrus County sheriff's deputies arrested Christina Forbes, 33, and Robert Forbes, 32, on Thursday.

Police said the child reeked of cat urine, and wore the same pull-ups to school on multiple occasions. They allege that the accused couple didn't allow him to get medication he needed, according to WLTX-TV.

The child's teachers told authorities they routinely gave him food and helped clean him, ABCActionNews.com reported.

The parents are each in jail on $5,000 bail and their son has been placed in alternative care, according to WTSP.com.

[gblowfish]

Drunk naked Ten Year Olds!

Spring Hill, Florida -- A Spring Hill mother was arrested and faces child neglect charges after deputies say her 10 year old son was found walking in the street, naked and drunk.

A couple out walking their dog stumbled across 31-year-old Nedra Byrd's son Thursday at 7:30 p.m. They took the boy to Amanda Roesch's home. She and her husband know the little boy because he's been over at their home many times before.

Amanda says, "They brought him here. We have kids that go to school with him."

The Hernando County Sheriff's office was called and detectives say when they arrived at the boy's home his mother didn't open the door. A man named James Shannon opened up and said he thought the child was in his room. Byrd they say was passed out on the couch and appeared drunk.

When she came to they say she too said she thought her son was in his room. When asked if she'd been drinking she reportedly said "Yeah. I'm drunk as hell."

Amanda adds, "This little boy he said all I want for my mommy is to go to rehab and to get anger management because mommy drinks to feel better cause she's mad. He's ten. Really? He had to to take care of mom how do you not know your child is naked drunk and missing?"

Detectives talked to the 10 year old who they say confirmed that his mother had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day. But the bombshell he told detectives was that his mother gave him four shots of the hard liquor. Roesch says, "He was so intoxicated he didn't realize that he didn't have any clothes on."

When asked, detectives say the child admitted he had drunk alcohol before.

The Department of Children and Families took the boy into custody, and later did bloodwork that showed the his blood alcohol content was .108.

Deputies found a half-empty bottle of Christian Brothers Brandy with a shot glass sitting on Byrd's kitchen counter.

Byrd was arrested on one count of child neglect, and placed on $1,000 bond. Friday around 5 p.m. she bonded out of jail.

[RedDread]

If you're not following this Twitter you need to be....

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

[BigMeatballDave]

Cat Piss and Cock Roaches!

Two parents in Beverly Hills, Fla., have been charged with child abuse for allegedly raising their 9-year-old son in a filthy home and denying him sufficient food and medicine.

A school nurse found a cockroach in the child's ear in September and, on another occasion, other school officials saw roaches crawling out of his backpack, Citrus Daily reported.

Citrus County sheriff's deputies arrested Christina Forbes, 33, and Robert Forbes, 32, on Thursday.

Police said the child reeked of cat urine, and wore the same pull-ups to school on multiple occasions. They allege that the accused couple didn't allow him to get medication he needed, according to WLTX-TV.

The child's teachers told authorities they routinely gave him food and helped clean him, ABCActionNews.com reported.

The parents are each in jail on $5,000 bail and their son has been placed in alternative care, according to WTSP.com.I don't even know why this was even posted. It's not strange or unusual.

I lived in Topeka from '78-81. I had a few friends whose parents NEVER cleaned their house. Saw the same shit in Missouri.

If we're going to post weird Florida news, it should be worth reading.

This is weak.

[Setsuna]

I don't even know why this was even posted. It's not strange or unusual.

I lived in Topeka from '78-81. I had a few friends whose parents NEVER cleaned their house. Saw the same shit in Missouri.

If we're going to post weird Florida news, it should be worth reading.

This is weak.
Indeed. But yall keep feeding him positive feedback. It'll never stop.

[gblowfish]

Awww, nuts!

Ronald Howard Jr. of Bradenton, Fla. was sitting on the couch scratching his testicles Monday, the Sun Sentinel reported, when his live-in girlfriend, Shalamar Petrarca, told him to cut it out.

According to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Petrarca, 25, told him that the scratching was rude and disgusting, and she was about to eat dinner.

In Petrarca's version of events, the 30-year-old Howard Jr. then "got in her face" and told her to stop judging him, the report states. He then allegedly pushed her into a corner -- where she fell and scraped her ankle -- then he threw her out of the home.

Deputies say that Howard's account is different, and that he said Petrarca punched him in the eye for "scratching his balls", and that he threw her out because he didn't want the situation to escalate.

The report states, however, that Howard appeared uninjured, while Petrarca had a scratch that matched her description of what happened. Ronald was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery.

[Rasputin]

I don't even know why this was even posted. It's not strange or unusual.

I lived in Topeka from '78-81. I had a few friends whose parents NEVER cleaned their house. Saw the same shit in Missouri.

If we're going to post weird Florida news, it should be worth reading.

This is weak.

Did any of your friends kids have cockroaches come out of their ears?

[gblowfish]

Floridian Roosevelt Douglas Masturbating In Front of 12-Year Old Girl

There was a big hole in his alibi.

Roosevelt Allen Douglas II, of Hawthorne, Fla., is accused of masturbating in front of a 12-year-old girl, but police say he told them he was just trying to fix a hole in his pants, according to an arrest report obtained by the Gainesville Sun.

Douglas, 32, was at the home of the girl on Wednesday, when he allegedly started masturbating in front of her, then showed her some inappropriate text messages.

The girl told police that when she left the room, he followed her outside, and later called her and asked her to not tell anyone about what happened.

Douglas' version of he story, according to the report, is that he had accidentally flashed the girl due to a hole in his pants, and he was only touching himself to try and fix the situation. He also allegedly stated that he had shown the girl a text message he had sent to someone else.

He was arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition.

This isn't the first time someone accused of masturbating in the wrong place has blamed a clothing malfunction.

In January, police say a Pennsylvania man caught masturbating next to a convenience store told them that his penis was only out because his pants had shrunk.

It's worth noting, though, that sometimes crazy-sounding excuses are true. Last October, a Florida man was accused of masturbating while sitting in his car in a parking lot. He told police he was really just scratching at a rash on his testicles, and went so far as to offer to show them proof. An officer agreed, and verified that the suspect did indeed have a rash.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

This thread is our off season top ten thread.

[gblowfish]

Some people will do anything to save a buck -- even wave a gun at a Walmart employee.

Officials in Crawfordville, Fla., say when Mary Frances Alday, 61, was told she couldn't use an Internet coupon at Walmart, she got angry. Real angry.

She allegedly called the manager who denied the dollar-off coupon “a bitch," and then intentionally stuck her with a shopping cart, according to The Smoking Gun.

Alday was escorted out of Walmart, but she went to her car, grabbed a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Special and came back in the store and threatened employees with it, WTXL-TV reported.

She left the scene, but was later arrested during a traffic stop, and reportedly had to be tased to get her out of her 2011 Ford Escape. She also hit the investigating officer several times, according to the arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Alday faces four counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, one count of battery, one count of battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting arrest with violence.

Alday's incident wasn't the only bit of alleged gun violence that took place at a Florida Walmart this past week.

Police in Orange City arrested Jose Martinez, 35, for allegedly shooting at least five bullets at a car driven by Eddie McKee, an alleged shoplifter trying to escape from Walmart parking lot.

He said McKee, 42, tried to run him over, according to ClickOrlando.com.

[scho63]

Floriduh is be-u-t-full! Her name is just peachy...SCAGGS!

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/03/05/florida-mom-accused-drinking-at-bar-while-kids-slept-in-car/?test=latestnews

A Florida woman is facing child neglect charges after deputies say she left her two children in the car while she got drunk at a bar.

Cheryn Scaggs, 30, is accused of drinking heavily at Shotz sports bar between the hours of midnight and 2 a.m. Monday, with her children sleeping in her car in the parking lot, MyFoxOrlando.com reported.

She reportedly asked for help getting home, which is when patrons noticed the two children, ages 1 and 4, asleep in the car and called police.

Patrons say the temperatures dropped into the low 30s, and the heat in the car was not turned on.

"We feel fortunate that this situation was discovered before this woman was able to leave, which led to her subsequent arrest," Shotz bar owners told MyFoxOrlando.com.

"We pray that these children will be placed in safe care."

Scaggs is currently jailed on $10,000 bond.

[gblowfish]

Vomit Laced Squirrel Soup on the Menu in Florida!

Marc Smith allegedly struck a boy who refused to partake in a bowl full of squirrel soup mixed with vomit.

A Florida man who allegedly beat a child for not eating vomit-filled squirrel soup was arrested Saturday.

Marc Scott Smith, of Jupiter, made a breakfast of freshly-hunted squirrel soup for a young boy in December according to an affidavit obtained by WPBF. Smith's relationship to the boy, whose name has not been released, is unclear.

According to the affidavit, the boy began coughing so hard that he threw up into the soup bowl, but Smith, 50, demanded that he keep eating it.

When the child would not eat the mixture of barf and squirrel, Smith allegedly hit him with a belt. The boy then ran to the home of neighbors, who contacted law enforcement.

Deputies who spoke with the boy shortly after the incident noted that he had abrasions on his arm and wrist and a bump on his head, according to the Palm Beach Post.

Smith has been charged with child abuse and is being held on $3,000 bond, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

[Frosty]

Floriduh is be-u-t-full! Her name is just peachy...SCAGGS!

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/03/05/florida-mom-accused-drinking-at-bar-while-kids-slept-in-car/?test=latestnews

A Florida woman is facing child neglect charges after deputies say she left her two children in the car while she got drunk at a bar.

http://i47.tinypic.com/2u6znz5.jpg



That's the look of someone realizing that they may have hit bottom.

[gblowfish]

That's the look of someone realizing that they may have hit bottom.

What she needs is a nice warm mug of Campbell's Cream of Squirrel Soup.

[kysirsoze]

http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/florida-must-go-bugsbunny-large.gif

posted without reading

[gblowfish]

Sword Fight over Fake Pot!

The weed may have been fake, but the sword was not.

A Port Charlotte, Fla. man was arrested after allegedly slicing his little brother's hand open with a sword on Sunday, according to a Charlotte County Sheriff's Office release. The pair had reportedly been arguing over synthetic marijuana when the older brother, 23-year-old William Russell Voswinkel Jr., went berserk.

At 3:20 p.m., police arrived at the Voswinkel home to find blood all over the house, the release states. Initially, other people in the home were uncooperative and the story of the sword fight changed several times.

After a while, deputies learned that Voswinkel got angry during the argument and went into a room that housed a collection of knives and swords. He picked up a blade and "began swinging it in a circular motion," according to the release. His 21-year-old brother entered the room and, in an apparent attempt to defend himself, held his hand out and blocked the swinging blade with his hand. The victim told police he was scared and knew that Voswinkel had a violent criminal past.

Voswinkel told police he got so emotional during the eruption that he went into the living room and punched a glass fishbowl, lacerating his own hand. Both brothers bled throughout the house until cops showed up.

The brothers' statements changed repeatedly, and the two allegedly got more hostile with deputies when they realized that an arrest was coming, according to the Sun Sentinel. But questioning led police to believe that to Voswinkel -- a convicted felon -- was the primary aggressor. He was charged with aggravated battery.

[gblowfish]

Porcha Gross Crack Cookie Vagina

And that's how the cookie crumbles.

Porcha Gross, 21, was arrested because she allegedly had a crack "cookie" in her vagina, the Northwest Florida Daily News reported.

A sheriff's deputy in Okaloosa County, Fla. pulled over the Evergreen, Ala. resident for allegedly faulty tag lights on March 9. The deputy says he spotted a marijuana blunt on the floor and took Gross into custody.

Female jail employees conducted a cavity search and say they discovered pieces of a crack cocaine "cookie" hidden in Gross's genitals.

A "cookie" is crack cocaine that has been formed into a round disc, typically around 3 inches across, according to the National Drug Intelligence Center. A "cookie" can usually sell for between $900 and $1,000.

Gross is facing multiple drug charges and her court date is April 9.

She isn't the first lady to allegedly use her body's nooks and crannies for illicit purposes.

Earlier this month, police say Florida resident Alexis Clancy was caught with a needle in her anus. Additionally, one of her companions at the time was allegedly hiding cocaine in his prosthetic leg, while another person with him allegedly had morphine and hydromorphone pill stuffed in her bra.

In January, Kentucky woman Jessica Webster was arrested for allegedly burglarizing a home, and when she got to jail, guards asked if she had any contraband. She said no, they claimed to find hypodermic needles in her vagina. They say the woman then stated she needed them because she was a heroin addict.

[Simply Red]

Porcha Gross Crack Cookie Vagina

And that's how the cookie crumbles.

Porcha Gross, 21, was arrested because she allegedly had a crack "cookie" in her vagina, the Northwest Florida Daily News reported.

A sheriff's deputy in Okaloosa County, Fla. pulled over the Evergreen, Ala. resident for allegedly faulty tag lights on March 9. The deputy says he spotted a marijuana blunt on the floor and took Gross into custody.

Female jail employees conducted a cavity search and say they discovered pieces of a crack cocaine "cookie" hidden in Gross's genitals.

A "cookie" is crack cocaine that has been formed into a round disc, typically around 3 inches across, according to the National Drug Intelligence Center. A "cookie" can usually sell for between $900 and $1,000.

Gross is facing multiple drug charges and her court date is April 9.

She isn't the first lady to allegedly use her body's nooks and crannies for illicit purposes.

Earlier this month, police say Florida resident Alexis Clancy was caught with a needle in her anus. Additionally, one of her companions at the time was allegedly hiding cocaine in his prosthetic leg, while another person with him allegedly had morphine and hydromorphone pill stuffed in her bra.

In January, Kentucky woman Jessica Webster was arrested for allegedly burglarizing a home, and when she got to jail, guards asked if she had any contraband. She said no, they claimed to find hypodermic needles in her vagina. They say the woman then stated she needed them because she was a heroin addict.


sad.

[gblowfish]

Sun Sentinel Boynton Beach police say a Lantana woman tried to pawn off jewelry from where she worked to help her regain her repossessed car. J.C. Penney jewelry section manager, Chelsey Adele Edwards, 25, was arrested Friday and faces charges of stolen property, larceny and fraud.

It began when a loss prevention officer at J.C. Penney in the Boynton Beach Mall told police Edwards came to him with a men’s necklace, ring, and bracelet in a jewelry bag that Edwards said she found in the store safe, according to an arrest report. After the loss prevention officer told Edwards to put the items back in the safe so he could investigate it later, police say he received a tip that she had pawned off the jewelry instead of putting the jewelry back. When the officer checked the safe, only the necklace was inside.

A search by police found Edwards had pawned the other items, valued at about $1,034, at a West Palm Beach business for $500, according to the report.

When I first saw Chelsey Adele Edwards’ mugshot, I thought she was going to be the leader in the clubhouse as world’s most infamous female serial killer, and assumed that they had found 1,000 bodies buried on her property. Look at those crazy eyes! I know her crime wasn’t that bad, but look at her face, somebody needs to check her crawl space for bodies.

Nope. Just stole a little jewelry from the J.C. Penney that she works at and tried to pawn it to get her repossessed car out of impound.

Chelsey Adele Edwards will be fired from her job, but probably will not serve too much hard time for this crime, however she will live forever in infamy in the Mugshot Hall Of Fame.

[Frosty]

Before I read the article, I saw the mugshot and thought maybe it was going to be about this chick.

Earlier this month, police say Florida resident Alexis Clancy was caught with a needle in her anus.

[Rausch]

Sun Sentinel Boynton Beach police say a Lantana woman tried to pawn off jewelry from where she worked to help her regain her repossessed car.


When I first saw Chelsey Adele Edwards’ mugshot, I thought she was going to be the leader in the clubhouse as world’s most infamous female serial killer, and assumed that they had found 1,000 bodies buried on her property.

I assumed she'd be latino...

[MahiMike]

And in other news - My tee time this weekend is 11:45 at the beach. Will be a frigid 75 degrees.

[Al Bundy]

And in other news - My tee time this weekend is 11:45 at the beach. Will be a frigid 75 degrees.

Fuck off :cuss::#:harumph:

[mikey23545]

I am very confident that Florida will pick up their burst very soon. They don't go very long without a brain bending news story.


Well, after all, this is a state that voted Obama two times in a row...

Go Libs!

[kc rush]

http://https://mobile.twitter.com/_FloridaMan (https://mobile.twitter.com/_FloridaMan)

One of the most entertaining twitter feeds out there.

There is also - https://mobile.twitter.com/_Flor1daWoman

[BigMeatballDave]

Well, after all, this is a state that voted Obama two times in a row...

Go Libs!

:spock: Along with several other states, I'm sure.

[gblowfish]

Heh, Wonder Works does work with my company. Good folks!

http://tinyurl.com/cxen6yv

Kathryn Wright, 58, has been charged with battery and disorderly intoxication.

Someone always gets feisty and into trouble school field trips, but it's not supposed to be the chaperone.

Kathryn Wright, 58, allegedly became drunk and belligerent while chaperoning her grandson's March 21 field trip with Lockmar Elementary School in Palm Bay, Fla., Florida Today reported.

The bus was driving back from Wonder Works in Orlando when the grandmother allegedly began stumbling around and shooting curse words at other chaperones.

"The kids were really upset," fellow chaperone Shaun Hewett told Florida Today.

When one adult tried to intervene, Wright allegedly yelled, "Get the f*ck out of my way or else," according to the Miami New Times. She also allegedly pushed a woman who tried to help her up after she had fallen on the floor.

The situation got so severe that someone called the cops. Paramedics were needed to take Wright, who was unable to walk or stand, to the hospital.

According to an arrest report obtained by WESH, Wright later admitted that "I had two bottles of diluted vodka. I drank both and threw one in the garbage at Wonder Works."

Police say Wright had marked her bottles of liquid refreshment with a "K."

Hewett noted that guidance counselors would be talking to the children about what happened.

Wright was charged with battery and disorderly intoxication.

[BigMeatballDave]

I imagine Blowfish's day is consumed by Weird Florida news Google searches.

[KChiefer]

I'd never heard of Wonder Works before. Seems to me if you aren't getting your buzz on there, you're not doing it right.

[gblowfish]

Wonder Works is like science city here in KC. It's a science based fun factory for kids. There's a string of them across the Southeastern US.

[bevischief]

Sun Sentinel Boynton Beach police say a Lantana woman tried to pawn off jewelry from where she worked to help her regain her repossessed car. J.C. Penney jewelry section manager, Chelsey Adele Edwards, 25, was arrested Friday and faces charges of stolen property, larceny and fraud.

It began when a loss prevention officer at J.C. Penney in the Boynton Beach Mall told police Edwards came to him with a men’s necklace, ring, and bracelet in a jewelry bag that Edwards said she found in the store safe, according to an arrest report. After the loss prevention officer told Edwards to put the items back in the safe so he could investigate it later, police say he received a tip that she had pawned off the jewelry instead of putting the jewelry back. When the officer checked the safe, only the necklace was inside.

A search by police found Edwards had pawned the other items, valued at about $1,034, at a West Palm Beach business for $500, according to the report.

When I first saw Chelsey Adele Edwards’ mugshot, I thought she was going to be the leader in the clubhouse as world’s most infamous female serial killer, and assumed that they had found 1,000 bodies buried on her property. Look at those crazy eyes! I know her crime wasn’t that bad, but look at her face, somebody needs to check her crawl space for bodies.

Nope. Just stole a little jewelry from the J.C. Penney that she works at and tried to pawn it to get her repossessed car out of impound.

Chelsey Adele Edwards will be fired from her job, but probably will not serve too much hard time for this crime, however she will live forever in infamy in the Mugshot Hall Of Fame.

The Walking Dead.

[gblowfish]

"Help...I've been sexually assaulted...
Ooooh.....what were you wearing?....tell me real slow...."

http://tinyurl.com/ckp5asj

When a domestic violence victim in Lake County, Fla., called a sexual assault and domestic abuse hotline number she'd seen on a Sheriff's Office flyer, the automated message startled her.

"Welcome to America's hottest talk line," the recording said. "Ladies, talk to interesting and exciting guys, free, press one now. Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you."

It turns out, Lake County Sheriff's Office accidentally listed a sex hotline as a sexual abuse hotline, WKMG reported. Sgt. Jim Vachon told the station that a victim made them aware of the mistake on Tuesday.

The 800 number -- on thousands of flyers -- was supposed to connect callers to the Haven, a victim's advocacy group.

Sgt. Jim Vachon told the station that a victim made them aware of the mistake on Tuesday.

WFTV 9 reported that the mixup occurred because the Sheriff's Office simply prints what it's given, and that was the number listed. A spokesperson told the station that they eventually traced the sex hotline number to an address of a former rape crisis center that Haven now runs.

But Haven has not used that address for nearly 20 years, according to Kelly Smallridge, the group's Executive Director.

"I was shocked and stunned. I had never seen that number before," she told the station. "As long as I've worked with this agency we haven't had a 1-800 number."

The Sheriff's Office has since corrected the error and distributed new flyers and pamphlets.

The incident mirrors that of Florida govenor Rick Scott, who, in 2010, mistakenly sent constituents seeking information on a fungal meningitis outbreak to a phone sex hotline.

The correct 24-hour hotline to the Haven of Lake and Sumter Counties is 352-753-5800 for domestic violence, or 352-787-1379 for sexual assault.

[gblowfish]

A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pooped in a man's backyard and took a skinny dip in his swimming pool.

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday and charged with burglary, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system, Click Orlando reported. He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool.

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.

[Rausch]

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.

Lefty or righty I think we need to support the idea of being politically active...

[Al Bundy]

A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pooped in a man's backyard and took a skinny dip in his swimming pool.

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday and charged with burglary, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system, Click Orlando reported. He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool.

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.

I love this shit.... makes my home state look so great.

[gblowfish]

If you check her picture, she looks kinda like Joe Biden. Maybe that's why she was going after Obama?

[frankotank]

hey Florida....how 'bout them Wolverines? :LOL:

[scho63]

If you check her picture, she looks kinda like Joe Biden. Maybe that's why she was going after Obama?

AAGHHHHHHHH MY EYES-THE BURNING!!!!

:bolt:

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/bq82vub

A seedy incident involving papayas and bare buttocks has led to the arrest of a woman in Vero Beach, FL.

Suzanne Wasden, 49, was due in court Tuesday morning to respond to allegations that she pummeled an ex-boyfriend with papayas on March 10 and exposed her bottom to him along with a 16-year-old male.

When Vero Beach police responded to a disturbance that day, they said they were met by a "very intoxicated" Wasden, whose pants were partially down and whose derriere was partially exposed, TCPalm.com reported.

According to a police affidavit, Wasden said the ex-boyfriend came to her home "looking for birthday sex."

Wasden's 16-year-old neighbor said that Wasden had come to his trailer earlier in the evening “wanting a cigarette and beer,” and started screaming when he didn't oblige. She then allegedly began hitting the boyfriend, pushed him into some glass and started throwing papayas at both of them, RawStory.com reported.

After that, Wasden allegedly turned around and lowered her jeans below her heiney and said, "Kiss my butt," ABC Action News reported.

The teen told ABC he could see "everything" and "that was something that none of us wanted to see." the affidavit states.

Wasden was arrested on a disorderly intoxication charge and was due in court Tuesday morning.

[Imon Yourside]

It's a good thing this thread doesn't include too many pics.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/d3ss8lz

A Florida woman is accused of attacking her husband, then attempting to burn down her kitchen in an attempt to go "out in a blaze of glory."

Michelle Diane Fowler Osteen Bedillion, 46, allegedly hit her husband, Carlos Bedillion in the head with a heavy picture frame around 9 p.m. Sunday in their Dunellon home, according to a news release from the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Carlos Bedillion, also 46, called police. His wife then allegedly threw a computer printer and hit him in the back.

The man fled the house and told police that from outside, he could see his wife pour cooking oil all over the kitchen before setting it on fire. He ran back inside and put the fire out, and Michelle Bedillion ran out of the house and into some nearby woods.

When deputies found her later on, they say she told them that her husband "deserved whatever he got." When they asked why she started a fire, she said, "I was going out in a blaze of glory."

Michelle Bedillion was charged with domestic battery and arson.

[Dartgod]

When deputies found her later on, they say she told them that her husband "deserved whatever he got." When they asked why she started a fire, she said, "I was going out in a blaze of glory."

She gives love a bad name.

[frankotank]

She gives love a bad name.

she was living on a prayer...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/K6w4jkJVrxY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[BigMeatballDave]

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/eric-ducharme--the-real-life-mermaid-200251696.html LMAO

http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/WaChnaIGUGNVgkxAwZZ2nw--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTYzMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2013-04-03/59790b06-44e6-4664-94aa-07cd7fe8f28f_usethis.jpg

[RedDread]

A Florida man beat his girlfriend with his X-box and stabbed her to death as she slept because "she was the wrong star sign," police have said.

Darrius Johnson, 22, is accused of "sacrificing" his 23-year-old lover, Monica Gooden, on Sunday at the home they shared in Lauderhill after believing she was a Taurus.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-stabbed-beat-girlfriend-x-box-cops-article-1.1306332#ixzz2PQcL9KXZ

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/buw66w2

Apparently you can use a dead dog for new tricks.

Suzanne Lee Kraus, 41, was arrested Monday and accused of obtaining painkillers by forging prescriptions for her deceased pet.

Kraus was an employee of Floresta Animal Hospital in Boynton Beach, Fla. from September 2010 to September 2012, the Sun Sentinel reported. Police say she stole veterinary prescription sheets, and between July and November 2012, she used the sheets to write out fake prescriptions for her dog, Higgins, who had been dead for about nine months.

Investigators say the forged prescriptions, which were made out to "Higgins Canine Kraus," allowed Kraus to obtain 240 Hydrocodone and Acetaminophen pills, WPTV reported.

The investigation into Kraus began when a pharmacist called the vet's office to confirm the prescription. The vet informed the pharmacist that her prescription pad had been stolen and the prescription was a fraud, according to WPBF.

Deputies say Kraus told them she needed pain medicine but could not afford it because of her lack of insurance.

She was charged with petty theft, obtaining a controlled substance by fraud, fraud in obtaining prescription drugs and uttering a forgery.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/bpyjhkq

Dance like no one is watching . . . unless, you know, the cops are watching.

Florida police responding to a single-car crash Wednesday morning say they found a 34-year-old stoned on a combination of marijuana and formaldehyde, and dancing naked in the street in Orange County, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

"The man, he was naked. Nothing on, I mean nothing,” witness Trudy Lane told CF News 13. “He had the music in the car playing real loud and he was whamming, whamming on the car, like he was beating to the sound of the music.”

A Florida Highway Patrol trooper and two Orange County deputies were overwhelmed by chemical fumes coming from the cabin of Felix Lockett's car, WFTV reported.

"Upon entering the vehicle, they started feeling ill - nausea, headache, vomiting. A couple of other deputies were on scene to assist that trooper. All three were transported to the hospital," Orange County Fire Department spokesman John Mulhall told the station.

What made the cops retch was apparently what made Locket disrobe and bust a move.

Officials determined that the offending chemical was formaldehyde. Lockett allegedly admitted that he had been smoking marijuana laced with the preservative found in many biology classes.

According to CF News 13, Lockett has been charged with driving under the influence.

[gblowfish]

Grandpa whips out a can of whoop-ass at the bingo parlor!
http://tinyurl.com/cyvhs6o

Bing-noooo!

Sheriff's deputies say that an 84-year-old shot pepper-spray at a security guard during a retirement community bingo event in central Florida, WESH reported.

The guard, 67-year-old Michael Burke, told investigators that he used crates to reserve two handicapped parking spaces for women attending the game. Other handicapped spaces were open and available, yet Donald Handa set his sights on the ones Burke had saved, according to Click Orlando.

Burke said Handa moved the crates, then parked his car and headed toward the building. It is unclear whether Handa had a handicapped sticker on his vehicle.

When Burke tried to stop Handa and get him to move his car, he says Handa whipped out a can of pepper spray and sprayed him with it.

Marion County Sheriff's deputies say Handa told them that he'd had problems with Burke for two weeks, and sprayed him because he felt threatened when Burke started chasing after him.

Burke admitted that the two had squabbled recently. He chose not to press charges.

According to a report obtained by Click Orlando, Handa agreed to "leave the parking spot vacant for the less fortunate" in the future.

Seriously though, don't get between a senior citizen and his or her bingo game.

In March, a teen was arrested after falsely yelling "Bingo" at a Kentucky bingo parlor, and was ordered to not even say the word for six months.

The month before, an all-out brawl erupted at a New Hampshire bingo game when a woman selling beauty products was disrupting the event.

[gblowfish]

Out of the frying pan, into the jail cell.
http://tinyurl.com/cchbhg2

A Florida man and his mom are behind bars after he used a frying pan a machete to threaten -- and possibly injure -- his twin brother, according to a Flagler County Sheriff's Office release.

Daniel Goggans, 27, and his brother Franklin were reportedly arguing outside their home Tuesday morning when Daniel approached with a frying pan. Franklin (not pictured) tried to leave in his truck, but Daniel allegedly climbed onto the hood and tapped the windshield with the frying pan. He then leaped off and grabbed a machete, threatening to Franklin that he was going to "cut him up," the release states.

That's when Franklin reportedly grabbed a handgun and pointed it in Daniel's direction, apparently in self-defense. He pointed the gun at the ground and fired it two times.

When cops arrived, Franklin said he may have accidentally shot Daniel in the foot. Daniel had an injury, but wouldn't tell cops where he got it.

That's when the pair's mother, 55-year-old Lajuana Goggans, stepped in. She allegedly denied any shots were fired and interfered with police, so they arrested her and Daniel. Daniel was charged with domestic violence assault.

[seclark]

it isn't wise to get between a mother and her pair of goggans.
sec

[RedDread]

Florida police arrest state’s biggest alleged distributor of child pornography

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/John-Shearen-via-FDLE-615x345.jpg

Florida Department of Law Enforcement officers arrested 51-year-old John Shearen of Leesberg, Florida on Thursday on charges of possession and distribution of child pornography. According to Orlando’s WFTV Channel 9, police found Shearen to be in possession of between 500,000 and 1 million full-length pornographic films featuring minor children.

Police called Shearron the largest downloader and distributor of child pornography in Florida and with 15 counts of child pornography possession and 15 counts of child pornography distribution. He was booked into Lake County Jail without bond.

Shearon was at his basement computer downloading still more images of exploited children when police burst into his Leesburg, Florida apartment and took him into custody. Agents identified Shearon in March while monitoring activity on child pornography websites and have been tracking him since then.

FDLE Special Agent Jeff Duncan told WFTV, “We were able to seize anywhere from 500,000 to one million images and videos. They were stored on several computers and external hard drives to actually being transferred from the computers to separate DVDs, and he has a DVD collection of child pornography. So, we have a lot of work to do. Those initial cases will be charged today.”

Duncan said that more charges may be added as the investigation progresses.

“He is the No. 1 person that can distribute child pornography throughout the world,” he said. “And he’s been doing it.”

Investigators plan to talk to all parents living in or around Shearen’s apartment complex to find out if further crimes were committed and ensure the safety of local children.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/05/florida-police-arrest-states-biggest-alleged-distributor-of-child-pornography/

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/dyfw5nu

A Florida man who allegedly threatened to commit suicide and hurt officers on Facebook attacked cops when they arrived at his home to check on him, starting an all-out brawl that shocked everyone.

Joshua Patrick Hilt, 42, got a visit from officers at his Orlando home on Thursday after he allegedly posted the messages, which weren't released by police, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

When they arrived, Hilt went berserk and ripped off his clothes. An officer tackled Hilt as he attempted to gouge the cop's eye out, the paper reports. Hilt was unsuccessful -- but the two exchanged punches several times before a second officer jumped on Hilt's legs and Tased him.

WESH reports that Hilt grabbed the Taser and used it on the first officer. The second officer tried to pull the Taser away but was shocked in the process.

The fight continued as pepper spray and batons were used on Hilt. In turn, he broke one of their radios. Nothing worked to stop him until several more officers arrived and subdued the suspect.

At least four officers were injured in the melee. Two were treated at the scene and two others were checked into a local hospital with minor injuries, News 13 reports.

Hilt, who officers say will undergo a mental health examination, was charged with five counts of aggravated battery on an officer, three counts of depriving an officer's means of communication, five counts of resisting arrest and indecent exposure.

[Bowser]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7us2z0OlP1r60v6do1_500.gif

[Al Bundy]

http://touch.orlandosentinel.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-75252561/


Tortured man hogtied, stabbed and burned, deputies say


By Desiree Stennett, Orlando Sentinel
6:21 pm, April 6, 2013

A woman and her ex-boyfriend were arrested after deputies say they tortured her roommate for several hours Wednesday over missing rent money.

The victim was hogtied with duct tape, seared with hot oil and an iron, stabbed, pistol-whipped, beaten and kicked for hours before he was finally able to escape by jumping through a window.

The victim, whose name was not released, told deputies that the suspects tried to shoot him as he ran to a neighbor's home for help.

Lattista Moore, 26, and the victim lived together in a home near Orlando, an arrest report said. When Moore realized she was missing about $3,500 in rent money, she blamed her roommate.

Moore called her ex-boyfriend, 27-year-old Kensy Mehu, and two of his friends to teach her roommate a lesson, the report said.

When the victim was found, the report says, he still had bloody duct tape wrapped around his face. The man had severe burns on his back and right shoulder and numerous stab wounds all over his body, including a large gash on his abdomen.

"The acts were imminently dangerous to (the victim) and demonstrated a depraved mind without regard for human life," the report said.

Both Mehu and Moore were arrested Thursday on kidnapping and attempted murder charges. Deputies have not said if their two friends will be arrested. They were not named in the report.

dstennett@tribune.com or 407-420-5447

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/cmqeeov

For six years, Alex Mesa has been running backwards throughout Miami Beach. He's appeared in tourists' YouTube videos and even completed an entire 5k in reverse.

On Saturday, police interrupted his jog.

WTVJ reported that four officers responding to a 911 call ticketed Mesa for obstructing traffic. Sgt. Robert Hernandez of the Miami Beach Police Department told the station that authorities witnessed Mesa jogging between cars.

Mesa allegedly told officers he wouldn't stop running backwards in the street. He told WTVJ he believes police singled him out because they learned of a past drug charge.

According to the Miami Sun Post Weekly, Mesa runs backwards two or three times a week for about two hours. He makes exercise a priority -- especially because in 1993 he learned he was HIV positive. He also suffers from cirrhosis, a liver condition made worse from his past with drug and alcohol addiction.

Now, he's working to recover and turn his life -- like his running -- around.

"Every time I take one step jogging backwards I dedicate it to [God] because that is a miracle," he told Sun Post Weekly. "I represent what supposedly is not possible."

[Marcellus]

http://touch.orlandosentinel.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-75252561/


Tortured man hogtied, stabbed and burned, deputies say


By Desiree Stennett, Orlando Sentinel
6:21 pm, April 6, 2013

A woman and her ex-boyfriend were arrested after deputies say they tortured her roommate for several hours Wednesday over missing rent money.

The victim was hogtied with duct tape, seared with hot oil and an iron, stabbed, pistol-whipped, beaten and kicked for hours before he was finally able to escape by jumping through a window.

The victim, whose name was not released, told deputies that the suspects tried to shoot him as he ran to a neighbor's home for help.

Lattista Moore, 26, and the victim lived together in a home near Orlando, an arrest report said. When Moore realized she was missing about $3,500 in rent money, she blamed her roommate.

Moore called her ex-boyfriend, 27-year-old Kensy Mehu, and two of his friends to teach her roommate a lesson, the report said.

When the victim was found, the report says, he still had bloody duct tape wrapped around his face. The man had severe burns on his back and right shoulder and numerous stab wounds all over his body, including a large gash on his abdomen.

"The acts were imminently dangerous to (the victim) and demonstrated a depraved mind without regard for human life," the report said.

Both Mehu and Moore were arrested Thursday on kidnapping and attempted murder charges. Deputies have not said if their two friends will be arrested. They were not named in the report.

dstennett@tribune.com or 407-420-5447

$3500 in "rent" money? Yea right, unless rent is what they call drugs in Orlando.

[gblowfish]

Florida under attach by giant, house eating African Snails!!!

http://tinyurl.com/bu5o8r6

ORLANDO, Florida (Reuters) - South Florida is fighting a growing infestation of one of the world's most destructive invasive species: the giant African land snail, which can grow as big as a rat and gnaw through stucco and plaster.

More than 1,000 of the mollusks are being caught each week in Miami-Dade and 117,000 in total since the first snail was spotted by a homeowner in September 2011, said Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services.

Residents will soon likely begin encountering them more often, crunching them underfoot as the snails emerge from underground hibernation at the start of the state's rainy season in just seven weeks, Feiber said.

The snails attack "over 500 known species of plants ... pretty much anything that's in their path and green," Feiber said.

In some Caribbean countries, such as Barbados, which are overrun with the creatures, the snails' shells blow out tires on the highway and turn into hurling projectiles from lawnmower blades, while their slime and excrement coat walls and pavement.

"It becomes a slick mess," Feiber said.

A typical snail can produce about 1,200 eggs a year and the creatures are a particular pest in homes because of their fondness for stucco, devoured for the calcium content they need for their shells.

The snails also carry a parasitic rat lungworm that can cause illness in humans, including a form of meningitis, Feiber said, although no such cases have yet been identified in the United States.

EXOTIC INVASION

The snails' saga is something of a sequel to the Florida horror show of exotic species invasions, including the well-known infestation of giant Burmese pythons, which became established in the Everglades in 2000. There is a long list of destructive non-native species that thrive in the state's moist, subtropical climate.

Experts gathered last week in Gainesville, Florida, for a Giant African Land Snail Science Symposium, to seek the best ways to eradicate the mollusks, including use of a stronger bait approved recently by the federal government.

Feiber said investigators were trying to trace the snail infestation source. One possibility being examined is a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots, which was found in 2010 to be using the large snails in its rituals, she said. But many exotic species come into the United States unintentionally in freight or tourists' baggage.

"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products," Feiber said.

Authorities are expanding a series of announcements on buses, billboards and in movie theaters urging the public to be on the lookout.

The last known Florida invasion of the giant mollusks occurred in 1966, when a boy returning to Miami from a vacation in Hawaii brought back three of them, possibly in his jacket pockets. His grandmother eventually released the snails into her garden where the population grew in seven years to 17,000 snails. The state spent $1 million and 10 years eradicating them.

Feiber said many people unfamiliar with the danger viewed the snails as cute pets.

"They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you ... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that," Feiber said. "But they don't realize the devastation they can create if they are released into the environment where they don't have any natural enemies and they thrive."

[Rasputin]

Giant rat sized zombie snails invading Florida

http://i1260.photobucket.com/albums/ii574/KCTattoo58/2013-04-14T175007Z_2_CBRE93D194L00_RTROPTP_2_USA-FLORIDA-SNAILS_zpsb6ef6580.jpg (http://s1260.photobucket.com/user/KCTattoo58/media/2013-04-14T175007Z_2_CBRE93D194L00_RTROPTP_2_USA-FLORIDA-SNAILS_zpsb6ef6580.jpg.html)

http://theweek.com/article/index/242725/the-giant-rat-sized-snails-devouring-south-florida

South Florida is under attack, and the non-native species threatening to wreak havoc seems innocent enough: It's not the giant Burmese pythons that made a home in the Everglades in 2000, nor a ravenous, land-walking fish like the Asian carp that have been eating through waterways farther up north.

No, this foreign invader is a snail.

But what a snail it is. The giant African land snail "can grow as big as a rat and gnaw through stucco and plaster," says Reuters' Barbara Liston. Since the monstrous mollusks were first noticed in the Miami-Dade County area in September 2011, researchers and vigilant homeowners have caught at least 117,000 of them, or about 1,000 a week. And "residents will soon likely begin encountering them more often, crunching them underfoot as the snails emerge from underground hibernation at the start of the state's rainy season in just seven weeks."

Just how big and bad are these slow-moving menaces? "The largest stretch 8 inches," says Zack Peterson in the Ocala StarBanner. "The oldest live nine years. The busiest lay up to 1,200 eggs" a year. They eat at least 500 species of plants, plus the stucco and plaster that provide calcium for their shells. And if that's not disturbing enough, the snails "even carry a parasitic nematode that can lead to meningitis in humans" — though no cases of the pathogen, rat lungworm, have been found among humans in the U.S. yet. (Watch raw footage of the snails below.)

They sound like "monsters from hell sent to punish us," or at least Florida, says Michael Ballaban at Jalopnik. But "perhaps the worst part of the invading monster snails is that if you hit one on the highway their shells are hard enough to cause a blowout." They can also turn deadly when a lawnmower hits one, flinging the shell out at high velocity. And then there's the slime trails they leave everywhere. "It becomes a slick mess," Denise Feiber, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, tells Reuters.

This isn't Florida's first battle with the giant African land snail. The Sunshine State won the last war — in the 1960s, after a boy brought three snails home from Hawaii — but it wasn't cheap or easy. Those three snails turned to 17,000 in seven years, and beating them took 10 years and $1 million. "Feiber said she doesn't want this eradication project to last that long," reports the StarBanner's Peterson. So last week, her department held a strategy roundtable with experts from across the U.S. and Canada.

How did this invasion start? "One possibility being examined is a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots, which was found in 2010 to be using the large snails in its rituals," says Retuers' Liston. Or somebody could have brought them in as pets, like in 1966. Or it could have just been an accident, like this decidedly unsavory possibility:

"If you got a ham sandwich in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic, or an orange, and you didn't eat it all and you bring it back into the States and then you discard it, at some point, things can emerge from those products," Feiber said. [Reuters]
Miami-Dade is ground zero, but "unfortunately, the invasion is not limited to Florida," says Josh Mogerman in the Chicagoist. These "ticking environmental time bombs" have been found in upper Midwestern schools, pet shops, and even one private breeder's operation. And it would only take one escaped or released snail to spark a new infestation, Feiber tells Reuters:

They're huge, they move around, they look like they're looking at you... communicating with you, and people enjoy them for that.... But they don't realize the devastation they can create if they are released into the environment where they don't have any natural enemies and they thrive.

[tooge]

If cooking them will kill the parasitic nematode, then escargot ftw!

[Rasputin]

If cooking them will kill the parasitic nematode, then escargot ftw!

I never have had escargot but I think you are onto something.

[Rasputin]

Well shit Gblowbfish beat me with Florida snail new by four minutes. :(

[gblowfish]

Florida Pussy Boy Calls 911 because he doesn't like the way his Mom is yelling at him....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/15/vincent-valvo-911-call-complain-about-mom_n_3084140.html

One teen from Vero Beach, Fla., learned the hard way that it's not against the law for moms to be annoying.

Police arrested Vincent Valvo, 19, after he allegedly called 911 twice on Thursday because "he didn't like how his mom was talking to him."

WTSP reported that authorities warned the teen after his first call that he shouldn't contact 911 for non-emergencies. Apparently, the message was not received.

After his second alleged call -- also made to complain about his mother -- police arrested Valvo outside his home. He allegedly smelled like alcohol and exhibited slow and slurred speech, according to an Indian County Sheriff's Office report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Valvo was released from jail Thursday afternoon after posting $500 bond, WTSP reported. He was arrested for "abuse of 911." According to the Sun-Sentinel, this was his third booking in the past year.

The 19-year-old's nonemergency dial follows a string of unorthodox 911 calls. In February, a Texas woman allegedly called police to have cigarettes delivered to her home. Around the same time, a little boy in Massachusetts dialed 911 to report his mother because he didn't want to go to bed.

[gblowfish]

You're free!! HICCUP......You're all freeeeeeee !!! HICCUP!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/17/steven-trew-everglades-wonder-gardens-zoo-animals_n_3086559.html

A man from Bonita Springs, Fla., allegedly broke into a zoo and cut the locks on nearly every cage -- including those of a wild boar, mountain lion and bobcat.

Steven Trew, 58, was arrested Monday morning for burglary and damaging the property of Everglades Wonder Gardens, WINK News reported. He allegedly admitted to being drunk when arrested.

Jack Wollman, a zoo employee, said that when he arrived at work on Monday, he noticed a deer, pigs, and birds out of their cages, according to The Associated Press. He and the zoo's owner, David Piper, also found the property's back gate sawed open.

"It was pitch black," Wollman told the AP. "Then I heard the flamingos and when you hear flamingos you know someone is there. I saw a guy by the barn area and chased him to the parking lot."

Wollman allegedly tackled the suspect -- later identified as Trew -- and detained him until authorities arrived.

Luckily, none of the dangerous animals left their cages, The News-Press reported, but one deer was killed on a nearby parkway, and one deer remains missing.

Piper, the owner, said that Trew allegedly committed the crime because he was angry that the zoo is set to close on April 21.

According to Lee County Sheriff's Office, Trew remains in custody on $30,000 and $1,500 bonds.

[gblowfish]

Carney making more Florida news????

A carnival worker may get more than a slap on the wrist after being accused of slapping the buttocks of a juvenile female.

Nicholas Berg, 28, was charged with simple battery after allegedly slapping the girl on her buttocks as she started to get on a slide in the funhouse at a carnival in New Port Richey, Fla., this past weekend, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

A witness told deputies the suspect appeared to touch the girl's behind without permission, but Berg told police he only touched her on her back.

He was released after posting $500 bond.

Berg isn't the only carnival worker who has been accused of acting inappropriately with underage customers.

In September, 2011, Illinois carnival worker James West, 25, and his 20-year-old girlfriend were accused of sending sexually explicit photos and text messages to a 16-year-old high school student.

But those accusations seem tame compared to the case of Florida carny Gregory Matthew Bruni.

In January, Bruni was accused of running naked into a house, masturbating in the living room, defecating in two places and drinking the contents of the vacuum.

[TrebMaxx]

Police Arrest Florida Woman, 22, For Violently Yanking Penis Of Ex-Boyfriend

Meet Laquavia Sharelle Wallace.

The 22-year-old Floridian was arrested yesterday for domestic battery after she grabbed and yanked on her former boyfriend’s penis during a dispute inside the victim’s Tampa residence.

Wallace, pictured at right, had gone to the home of Antonio Marquis Williams to pick up the ex-couple’s daughter, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

Williams told deputies that the pair argued because Wallace wanted to resume dating. However, “Antonio did not want another relationship at this time,” investigators noted.

The argument then turned violent “when the offender grabbed Antonio’s penis with her right hand and began pulling on it which caused pain to Antonio.” Williams defended himself by grabbing Wallace’s forearms “to prevent further violence.”

The sheriff’s report does not detail what, if any, clothing Williams was wearing when Wallace allegedly accessed his genitals.

Though Williams refused to file charges, Wallace was nonetheless arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the Manatee County jail (where bail has yet to be set). She is scheduled for a May 21 court appearance.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/woman-grabs-mans-penis-198237

[Rasputin]

I think gblowfish should do a list 10 breakdown of his favorite Florida news each week on sundays until the season starts. I think his breakdowns would be interesting to read.

[Sorter]

Carney making more Florida news????

A carnival worker may get more than a slap on the wrist after being accused of slapping the buttocks of a juvenile female.

Nicholas Berg, 28, was charged with simple battery after allegedly slapping the girl on her buttocks as she started to get on a slide in the funhouse at a carnival in New Port Richey, Fla., this past weekend, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

A witness told deputies the suspect appeared to touch the girl's behind without permission, but Berg told police he only touched her on her back.

He was released after posting $500 bond.

Berg isn't the only carnival worker who has been accused of acting inappropriately with underage customers.

In September, 2011, Illinois carnival worker James West, 25, and his 20-year-old girlfriend were accused of sending sexually explicit photos and text messages to a 16-year-old high school student.

But those accusations seem tame compared to the case of Florida carny Gregory Matthew Bruni.

In January, Bruni was accused of running naked into a house, masturbating in the living room, defecating in two places and drinking the contents of the vacuum.

Florida never loses.

[gblowfish]

64 year old Drunk lady wants to chat up 911.....

Apparently, 911 is the loneliest number.

Deputies in Vero Beach, Fla. say that 64-year-old Fleurette French dialed 911 on multiple occasions in March because she was "lonely," according to an arrest affidavit obtained by TC Palm.

A dispatcher says when French made an emergency call around 8 p.m. on March 30, she reported a medical issue and noted that she had been drinking. The dispatcher stated the woman "was in no obvious distress."

A medic sent to French's home told deputies when he got there, French admitted she had really just called "because she was lonely," but she was nonetheless taken to a local hospital.

Investigators then found French had called 911 five times between March 22 and March 30. Each time she was drunk, and each time she was transported to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

Doctors found that French had no medical issue. She was charged with abuse of 911.

French isn't the first lonely individual to allegedly call 911. In 2010, an Ohio woman was accused of repeatedly calling 911 and asking dispatchers out on dates. She was also accused of urinating in her apartment building's hallway.

Last May, an Oklahoma man allegedly dialed the emergency line 17 times in one day to try and talk dirty with the operators.

[gblowfish]

This guy was really caught with his pants down.

Volusia County deputies say that transient Dwayne Cook, 45, was discovered Tuesday half-naked in the bedroom of an Oak Hill, Fla., woman he had allegedly been stalking, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

Erica Freeman, 25, told law enforcement that Cook has a "perverted infatuation" with her and has repeatedly shown up at her home uninvited, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. She said that on one occasion, she woke up to the man in her bedroom massaging her feet. Another time, she says she saw him watching her from the woods. She had called deputies about the incident, but Cook was never found.

Freeman and her husband, Cyle Freeman, had just returned from a trip to the store Tuesday when they opened the bedroom door and say they found Cook inside with his pants around his ankles, according to Click Orlando. Cyle Freeman says he punched Cook in the face, after which the intruder jumped out the window.

Maintenance workers in the neighborhood called the police after they say they saw Cook go into another home at around 4:30 p.m. They noted that blood was dripping down his face.

Deputies entered the home and arrested Cook, charging him with stalking and burglary with assault or battery. They also noted he had sustained a cut to his forehead.

[Al Bundy]

This guy was really caught with his pants down.

Volusia County deputies say that transient Dwayne Cook, 45, was discovered Tuesday half-naked in the bedroom of an Oak Hill, Fla., woman he had allegedly been stalking, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

Erica Freeman, 25, told law enforcement that Cook has a "perverted infatuation" with her and has repeatedly shown up at her home uninvited, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. She said that on one occasion, she woke up to the man in her bedroom massaging her feet. Another time, she says she saw him watching her from the woods. She had called deputies about the incident, but Cook was never found.

Freeman and her husband, Cyle Freeman, had just returned from a trip to the store Tuesday when they opened the bedroom door and say they found Cook inside with his pants around his ankles, according to Click Orlando. Cyle Freeman says he punched Cook in the face, after which the intruder jumped out the window.

Maintenance workers in the neighborhood called the police after they say they saw Cook go into another home at around 4:30 p.m. They noted that blood was dripping down his face.

Deputies entered the home and arrested Cook, charging him with stalking and burglary with assault or battery. They also noted he had sustained a cut to his forehead.

Gators fan.

[gblowfish]

Laquavia....oh NO YOU DIDDNT.....

You can get in a lot of trouble for pulling someone's (third) leg.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 22, was arrested Tuesday in Manatee County, Fla. after she violently pulled on her ex-boyfriend's penis, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

According to the report, Wallace had gone to her ex's Bradenton home to pick up their daughter, and when the man invited her inside, they got into an argument because Wallace "wanted to start another dating relationship with [the victim]."

Her ex didn't want to start dating again, and deputies say the argument escalated until Wallace "grabbed [the victim's] penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain."

A relative of the victim witnessed the incident, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend refused to file charges against Wallace, but deputies charged her with domestic battery anyway.

Bradenton Patch reported that Wallace was released from jail the next day after posting bond.

[scho63]

Laquavia....oh NO YOU DIDDNT.....

You can get in a lot of trouble for pulling someone's (third) leg.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 22, was arrested Tuesday in Manatee County, Fla. after she violently pulled on her ex-boyfriend's penis, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

According to the report, Wallace had gone to her ex's Bradenton home to pick up their daughter, and when the man invited her inside, they got into an argument because Wallace "wanted to start another dating relationship with [the victim]."

Her ex didn't want to start dating again, and deputies say the argument escalated until Wallace "grabbed [the victim's] penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain."

A relative of the victim witnessed the incident, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend refused to file charges against Wallace, but deputies charged her with domestic battery anyway.

Bradenton Patch reported that Wallace was released from jail the next day after posting bond.

"AHHH, no more yankee my wankee, the Donger needs food!" :#

[Al Bundy]

"AHHH, no more yankee my wankee, the Donger needs food!" :#

And higher gas prices.

[gblowfish]

It's safe to say April 9 was a crappy day for Orlando resident Michael Johnston.

Not only was the 44-year-old arrested for allegedly shooting up a public dock, he admitted to pooping his pants while being questioned, according to a sheriff's report obtained by TCPalm.

Deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office say they got the straight poop from Johnston when they responded to a report of shots being fired near the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach around 9:20 p.m.

Investigators found Johnston, who they say admitted to drinking at least eight boozy beverages and firing shots at a glass bottle.

No one was injured in the incident.

Deputies noted about 20 shots were fired, and that the dock had sustained bullet holes and other damage. The report also mentions that he defecated in his pants while being questioned.

Johnson was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

[gblowfish]

Nemeha Millen had a first date she'll never forget: good conversation, a long walk in the park, and getting carjacked.

On her 21st birthday, the Florida woman went out with 19-year-old Donald Bernard McGee Jr., whom she told police she met after he started sending her text messages.

The two strolled through a Boynton Beach park until around 10 p.m. when the couple went to a nearby Wendy's to wait for McGee's brother.

But instead of stealing a kiss, McGee allegedly whipped out a gun and stole her car, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

"I grabbed my purse and then he fought me for my purse with a gun," Milien told WPBF-TV. "He pointed it at my face."

Officers chased McGee on Interstate 95 for about eight miles until he lost control of the vehicle. He faces charges of armed carjacking, robbery with a firearm and possession of marijuana.

Milien told the station that she has no plans to date anyone else anytime soon.

It may rank as one of the least romantic dates in history, but it's just one of many bizarre carjacking stories that have popped up in recent months.

In February, 7-month-old Ayanna Julbe went on a wild ride after her parents left her in their idling car when they went into a store. The vehicle was carjacked, but the thief abandoned the vehicle -- and called police -- when he realized there was a baby on board.

In January, two armed men in Orlando, Fla., attempted to carjack a Corvette, but were unable to figure out how to work the manual transmission.

And in December, John Brigham allegedly instigated multiple car crashes while driving in Scottsdale, Ariz., After the pileup, he allegedly stripped completely and carjacked a Prius.

[Frosty]

In January, two armed men in Orlando, Fla., attempted to carjack a Corvette, but were unable to figure out how to work the manual transmission.

Just another reason to drive a manual.

[Rasputin]

It's safe to say April 9 was a crappy day for Orlando resident Michael Johnston.

Not only was the 44-year-old arrested for allegedly shooting up a public dock, he admitted to pooping his pants while being questioned, according to a sheriff's report obtained by TCPalm.

Deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office say they got the straight poop from Johnston when they responded to a report of shots being fired near the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach around 9:20 p.m.

Investigators found Johnston, who they say admitted to drinking at least eight boozy beverages and firing shots at a glass bottle.

No one was injured in the incident.

Deputies noted about 20 shots were fired, and that the dock had sustained bullet holes and other damage. The report also mentions that he defecated in his pants while being questioned.

Johnson was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

That was pretty shitty of him to do.

[gblowfish]

From the Orlando Sentinel:

With a last name like that, no wonder he got caught.

Elijah Slocumb, 35, is accused of fervently masturbating on Smathers Beach on Friday.

A witness told police that the man "had his penis in his hand and was making up and down motions, indicating masturbation," according to a police report sent to The Huffington Post.

During Slocumb's date with Palmela Handerson, "his whole body was shaking," the woman told cops.

Police arrested Slocumb and accused him of intentionally masturbating and exposing his genitals in a "lewd and lascivious exhibition."

[gblowfish]

A man from Polk County, Fla., allegedly told women he was a Boy Scout trying to earn a community service badge so they would let him massage, kiss, and sometimes suck on their toes.

Reginald Cruz, 23, was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly asking a 10-year-old girl if he could touch her feet, apparently for sexual gratification, The Tampa Tribune reported. The child's mother called authorities after she ran inside.

Authorities charged Cruz with lewd conduct on a minor, obtaining property by fraud and battery.

The 23-year-old told authorities that he's been approaching women since he was 6-years-old, according to a Polk County Sheriff Office news release. Cops said his victims were usually dark-skinned and have ranged from 10 to 32 years old.

Detectives said Cruz has changed his background story as he's aged. Most recently, he allegedly claimed to be a medical student conducting an experiment, according to WFLA.

Authorities believe Cruz has victimized more than 100 females, including children.

[dmahurin]

GPD: Would-be squirrel-killer injured after taping cartridge to BB gun

By Cindy Swirko
Staff writer
Published: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
A man who tried to shoot a squirrel for dinner by taping a .40-caliber cartridge to a BB gun was hospitalized with shrapnel wounds after the cartridge exploded, Gainesville police reported.

A sworn complaint was filed against William Daniel Lloyd, 31, for discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, Officer Ben Tobias stated in a press item.

Officer Diana Mattern responded to a medical emergency call at 600 SE 12th Terrace and learned that Lloyd had taped the cartridge to the end of a BB gun to shoot a squirrel, Tobias said.

Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge’s primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.

He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

On Friday morning residents at his listed address said Lloyd had been released from the hospital and was back at work.

A sworn complaint was filed in lieu of arrest because of Lloyd’s injuries.

The state Department of Corrections website shows that Lloyd served time in prison for 2009 offenses for grand theft and trafficking stolen property. He was released in November 2011.

Lloyd told police he was trying to shoot a squirrel with a Pumpmaster 760 BB gun. His girlfriend told police that Lloyd told her he was trying to shoot a squirrel for dinner, according to police.

Lloyd and others at the home bandaged his wounds but he continued bleeding.

“Lloyd stated he knew he had been hit, but did not know how badly,” an officer wrote in the report.

Lloyd told police he knew he was not allowed to possess ammunition and that he found cartridges while “scrapping” — looking for scrap metal.

[Dante84]

All of Miami has AIDS.

Jeff Ireland gave it to them.

[dmahurin]

@_floridaman on twitter is a good way to keep up with Florida news.

[CecilFisher]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.


Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

Florida has offered many exciting news on regular intervals. I have covered those mentioned by you. SO what is the latest buzz about Florida?

[gblowfish]

As an ex-journalist, I love Florida for its wide variety, its richness and diversity of psycho crime and sexual deviance.

It's truly in a class of its own.

[gblowfish]

One man from Florida decided to buy and wear a "Jail Sucks!" T-shirt, complete with an illustration of an angry inmate behind bars.

And then he was arrested.

Undercover agents in Florida allegedly caught Don Castner, 39, selling Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT), The Smoking Gun reported.

Castner was one of 39 people who fell victim to Manatee County Sheriff Office's "Operation Meal Ticket II," -- an undercover investigation targeting food stamp fraud, according to ABC Action News.

Authorities say suspects selling the EBT cards used the profits to buy drugs and alcohol.

In a press conference on Wednesday, Manatee County Sheriff Brad Steub said the 4-month-long investigation led to 103 arrest warrants, WTSP reported.

Castner, meanwhile, had to replace his novelty shirt with a smock before he was booked into jail, according to The Smoking Gun.

[gblowfish]

A man who allegedly stripped naked at a Daytona Beach convenient store told police he didn't know much, but he knew he was a monkey.

Officials say Daylen Holloman, 20, called 911 from a 7-Eleven at about 12:30 a.m. Wednesday, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. The dispatcher asked Holloman is name and if he had consumed drugs of alcohol, but he repeatedly answered with "I don't know."

Police say eventually Holloman told the dispatcher he remembered his name, and stated, "It's monkey."

When officers arrived at the store, they say Holloman came outside and told them he didn't know why he called, according to WESH.

An officer asked Holloman what he did know and the Holloman allegedly replied, "I know I am a monkey."

The officer argued with Holloman, according to the Florida News Journal, telling the monkey impersonator that he knew he was a human because he was wearing human clothes.

Holloman allegedly responded to this watertight logic by removing his clothes, even when officers ordered him to keep them on.

[gblowfish]

She wanted to make love in this club, in this club, in this club -- and it led to her arrest.

Alicia Fawn Chessher, 26, was caught having sex in the bathroom of a Fort Walton Beach, Fla., club last week, but it was her alleged tangle with officers that landed her in jail.

Chessher -- who's been arrested in the past on charges of attacking a cop -- was escorted out of the Block nightclub after her restroom romp, the NWF Daily News reports. The hot and bothered club goer allegedly punched a staff member and tried to attack others on her way out.

She also struck a responding officer in the chest. A report obtained by the Sun-Sentinel states that she appeared highly intoxicated, with slurred speech, dilated pupils and a "staggered stance." She was restrained, but she continued to kick at officers and refused to enter a patrol car. She even allegedly tried to escape the police vehicle -- so cops pepper-sprayed her.

Chessher was charged with disorderly intoxication, battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting arrest with violence.

[scho63]

Alicia Fawn Chessher, 26, was caught having sex in the bathroom of a Fort Walton Beach, Fla., club last week



Because you know people are going to ask. :D

[BigRedChief]

15 funniest crimes ever committed in Florida from funnyordie.com
http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/85a48c64fa/the-funniest-crimes-ever-committed-in-florida#slide1

[RippedmyFlesh]

From the Orlando Sentinel:

With a last name like that, no wonder he got caught.

Elijah Slocumb, 35, is accused of fervently masturbating on Smathers Beach on Friday.

A witness told police that the man "had his penis in his hand and was making up and down motions, indicating masturbation," according to a police report sent to The Huffington Post.

During Slocumb's date with Palmela Handerson, "his whole body was shaking," the woman told cops.

Police arrested Slocumb and accused him of intentionally masturbating and exposing his genitals in a "lewd and lascivious exhibition."

What would unintentionally masturbating be?

[Rain Man]

What would unintentionally masturbating be?

Slow dancing.

[gblowfish]

I'm hot for Teacher!

http://tinyurl.com/chr49su

She posed in clothing you might see on any beach in America, but this ex-teacher said her bikini photos got her banned from for good from her classroom.

A former Martin County High School English teacher in Florida said she lost her job after one of her racy modeling photos came to the attention of the school's principal.

Olivia Sprauer, 26, who models under the name Victoria James, told The Huffington Post she knew she took a risk when she decided to pose for bikini photos beginning in February, but she decides she wanted to chance it.

"Lots of teachers get fired or asked to resign for the same things I did," Sprauer told HuffPost. "I knew I didn't want to come back next year and I knew I wanted to go to grad school so I decided if I made it to the end of the year I would be happy."

Unfortunately for Sprauer, who started teaching in 2011, she didn't quite make it. On April 29, she was called into principal Alfred Fabrizio's office. Sprauer said the principal showed her one of her modeling photos and, after she confirmed the picture was of her, she was asked to resign that day.

"I felt like it would have been nice for my students to finish out the year with me," Sprauer said. "They trusted me and they made me happy so that aspect of it was sad."

The Martin County School District would only confirm that Sprauer, who taught freshmen and juniors, is no longer employed at the school. A spokesperson for the district declined to comment further because it was a "personnel matter."

Sprauer said she did nothing wrong.

"I don't make pornography. I don't open my legs on camera. I take swimsuit glamour style photography," Sprauer said.

Sprauer said she still plans on attending her student's graduation.

"They are happy for me," Sprauer said. "They know I love them."

http://i41.tinypic.com/o2viu.jpg

[gblowfish]

Talk about raising the mast.

Scott Barron, 67, is accused of masturbating in front of passing sailboats at a boat ramp Saturday in Alva, Fla., NBC 2 reported.

An off-duty deputy says he spotted Barron -- penis in hand -- standing on a sailboat parked at the ramp.

When the officer told him to stop, Barron first allegedly swore at him, then said he was just exercising.

Apparently the officer doesn't care about forearm strength, because he slapped Barron with an indecent exposure charge.

Barron was released from jail Sunday on $1,000 bond, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office.

Barron isn't the only one who allegedly can't handle himself in public. In April, the aptly-named Elijah Slocumb was arrested after allegedly masturbating in public with such animation that "his whole body was shaking."

Earlier that month, hearings began for the former Vice-Mayor of a Tennessee town, who was accused of masturbating out of his open car window -- at 90 mph.

[gblowfish]

A woman from Immokalee, Fla., allegedly threw an 8-inch-long kitchen knife at her boyfriend after he farted in her face.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, told Collier County detectives that an argument ensued Tuesday night, while the two were watching TV, Naples Daily News reported.

Burns says that her boyfriend purposely passed gas while walking by her on his way to the kitchen.

When officers responded to a report of a possible stabbing, they found Burns' boyfriend in front of his house, with cuts on his abdomen and left arm, according to a Collier County Sheriff's Office arrest report sent to The Huffington Post.

The victim told authorities that his stomach wound came when Burns and he were arguing in the kitchen over money. He said she threw the knife at him, left the house, but came back, and struck him in the arm with a stick.

According to the report, the victim makes no mention of the alleged flatulence, but "continually stated if [Burns] returned he would kick her ass."

When detectives interviewed Burns, she allegedly asserted that her boyfriend became agitated and began yelling only after she confronted him about his fart.

Burns was arrested following the incident and charged with aggravated battery. She remains in custody on a $50,000 bond.

According to Collier County arrest records, Burns was arrested eight times between 2005 and 2012, on charges including cocaine possession, failure to pay child support, and trespassing.

[Bowser]

MIAMI (AP) — Authorities say a plastic surgeon in Miami attacked his girlfriend for several hours over a Facebook posting, forcing her head into a toilet and stuffing a rag in the woman's mouth at one point.

Police say 41-year-old Orlando Llorente was charged Wednesday with kidnapping, attempted murder and other charges. He was being held Thursday without bail in the Miami-Dade County jail.

Llorente grabbed the 36-year-old woman by the hair on April 21, took her into the bathroom and stuck her head in the toilet, said Miami police spokeswoman Kenia Reyes. She said he also forced her into the bathtub, stuffed a rag in her mouth and poured water over her face.

Police didn't say what was in the Facebook posting that prompted the attack, which authorities said lasted some 16 hours. The woman was let go after promising Llorente she wouldn't tell anyone what happened.

Llorente's attorney, Marcos Beaton, said his client surrendered voluntarily to police and wants to clear his name.

"He reached out to law enforcement, through his lawyers, when these false allegations surfaced. We are disappointed that our requests for more time in which to present a thorough and thoughtful examination into the source of the allegations and the facts surrounding them was declined," Beaton said, according to The Miami Herald (http://hrld.us/10IymnC ).

http://news.yahoo.com/police-doc-attacked-girlfriend-over-facebook-post-122249024.html

[ImAWalkingCorpse]

http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/patrice-sanders-polk-county-school-bus-driver-arrested-after-forcing-teen-girls-to-fight?utm_content=bufferb1620&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer



CAUTION - The cellphone video to the left contains violence and may be disturbing to some viewers.
LAKELAND, Fla. - A Central Florida school bus driver has been arrested after allegedly driving a group of students to her home and staging a fight.

The Polk County Sheriff's Office says the driver, Patrice Sanders, took a busload of middle and high school students to her home Thursday and then had two of the students fight in her front yard.

According to the affadavit, Sanders picked up children from three schools, and when she heard a 13-year-old girl and 16-year-old girl verbally arguing on the bus, she said, "This is going to be handled today and they just need to fight."

She then drove the bus directly to her house, bypassing the stops she was supposed to make to drop off students. She then ordered all of the children off of the bus and told the two girls that she would give them Vaseline or baby oil to put on their faces so they wouldn't get scratched ruing the fight.

The 13-year-old told Sanders that she didn't want to fight. The girls then physically fought in Snaders' front yard in front of all of the other other children. At least one child took video of the fight on a cellphone.

Sanders did not try to stop the fight, but stood by and watched. The girls eventually stopped fighting and Sanders ordered all of the children back on the bus.

Once the bus was moving, the same two girls began fighting again. Sanders pulled over and watched the girls fight until they were done. She reportedly told all of the kids on the bus, "What happens on the bus, stays on the bus," and then proceded to take them all to their bus stops.

That night, the 13-year-old girl's mother reported the incident to police and took her daughter to the hospital to be examined. She did not have any serious injuries.

Detectives then interviewed the other girl who fought, and then arrested Sanders.

Sanders has been charged with child abuse, neglect, false imprisonment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Copyright 2013 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Read more: http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/state/patrice-sanders-polk-county-school-bus-driver-arrested-after-forcing-teen-girls-to-fight?utm_content=bufferb1620&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer#ixzz2T07A1FiT

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/cgq8w2v

Police say a 57-year-old central Florida woman is a grave robber who stole nearly 150 items that she used to decorate her home.

Statues, lights, planters, decorations and other trinkets pilfered from Mount Peace Cemetery in St. Cloud were allegedly adorning the home and yard of Debra Farinella, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

In all, the middle-aged tomb raider is accused of taking 146 pieces from the burial spots, according to WFTV.

"She was not very particular," said Officer Chad Durham, spokesman for the St. Cloud Police Department, to WOFL. "She would take them from baby gravesites, as well as adult gravesites."

A tipster gave police a description of a suspect and a partial license plate number. Police eventually located Farinella, who claimed that she bought the cemetery mementos at a yard sale, the Sentinel reported.

She's been charged with grand theft and petty theft, according to the Osceola County Sheriff's office.

Victims are encouraged to contact the St. Cloud Police Department to reclaim stolen goods, WKMG said.

[gblowfish]

Florida man shoots himself while bowling!

MARK IT ZERO!

A Florida man entered a world of pain Tuesday when his gun accidentally discharged during an evening of bowling at Jupiter Lanes, WPTV reports.

Witnesses said that the weapon fired when the man's arm brushed up against his pocket during his backswing. You didn't think he was rolling out there naked, did you?

"The ball hit him in the leg, which triggered the revolver," a bystander told WBPF. Obviously, he's not a golfer.

The man was rushed by ambulance (perhaps, his car was stolen) to St. Mary’s Medical Center where he no doubt received a good and thorough examination. His injuries are not considered life threatening, according to the Palm Beach Post.

It remains unclear if the incident took place during league play.

[CrazyPhuD]

Ok this belongs here!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YkBxWPkHMW0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[AussieChiefsFan]

Australia has it's own equivalent to Florida. The Northern Territory.

[dmahurin]

PINELLAS PARK - A Florida man is recovering after being attacked by an alligator while fleeing deputies during a traffic stop.

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office says 20-year-old Bryan Zuniga was pulled over for failing to maintain a single lane Thursday at about 2:50 a.m.

Deputies say Zuniga stopped the vehicle and jumped out of the passenger door. He then broke through a vinyl fence and escaped.

The Tampa Bay area man was found at a local hospital a few hours later. He was being treated for multiple puncture wounds to the face, arm and armpit area. He told deputies he had been attacked by an alligator near a water treatment plant.

He has been charged with fleeing police, driving with a suspended or revoked license and resisting an officer without violence.

[AussieChiefsFan]

Florida Man Cited For Filling Ditch In Front Of House WIth Raw Sewage

For the record, it is not OK to pump raw sewage into the swale in front of your home.

But this appears to be what went down May 1 at a residence on Southwest Hambrick Street in Port St. Lucie, according to a recently released Port St. Lucie police report.

The "stench of raw sewage" greeted an officer who arrived at the scene. That officer also noted "brown water" in the swale.

The property owner, Victor Vivirito, told the officer his tenant called and reported "sewage is backing up in the toilets and bathtub," a report states.

People typically do not enjoy bathing in tubs of sewage or relieving themselves in waste-filled commodes.

Vivirito said "the sewer pipe was clogged, so he ran a water hose from the roof to unclog the pipe, and then discharged some of the waste water into the city swale area," the report states.

The officer said Vivirito should have contacted a plumber or had the septic tank professionally pumped out, noting it's against the rules "to knowingly pump untreated waste water and/or raw sewage" into a public swale.

"I further explained that the odors are harmful to human life, which attract flies and mosquitoes, which further promotes diseases and other health hazards to the public," the report states.

The report did not say whether brown nosing was involved.

Vivirito was issued a notice to appear in court in connection with violating state rules relating to nuisances injurious to health and administration code/prohibition of disposal of waste.

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_will_greenlee_blog/2013/05/whats-that-smell-in-psl.html?utm_content=buffer7b376&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer

[dmahurin]

A man who said he fled an accident scene because he had "bad" Chinese food and didn't want to poop in his pants was arrested on a misdemeanor charge, according to a recently released affidavit.

What could be called the case of the driver who didn't wish to defecate in his drawers began about 6:30 a.m. May 6 in Port St. Lucie when a police officer went to the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue for a traffic crash.

A man told the officer a red pick-up truck left after backing into his vehicle.

Shortly after that, Carlos Baca, 27, returned to the scene. The man identified Baca and his vehicle from the crash.

"Baca reported he left briefly because he had 'bad' Chinese food and did not want to defecate in his pants," an affidavit states. "Baca apologized for leaving, but believed he had no choice, as he was on the verge of defecating in his pants."


Baca said he had no license, and apologized for driving without one.

The affidavit did not state where Baca apparently got the Chinese food, nor did it state whether Baca defecated in his trousers.

Baca, of the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a misdemeanor driving without a license charge.

[BigBeauford]

Guess Baca didn't want to go caca.

[gblowfish]

It's good to have priorities.

Florida police say they caught 21-year-old Andrew Fatzinger early Sunday morning looting a home in Lighthouse Point and vandalizing it with graffiti and mustard, the Sun Sentinel reported.

He had also been stuffing laptops, medications and various electronics into a suitcase, according to a police report obtained by NBC Miami.

Fatzinger allegedly fled, sparking a ground and helicopter police chase.

A deputy in the helicopter says he saw Fatzinger run into a second house, then come back out with two bottles of beer. He later discarded the bottles during his getaway attempt.

Fatzinger was eventually cornered by a K-9 and allegedly punched the dog.

His charges include burglary, grand theft, striking a police dog and resisting arrest with violence.

The owner of the beer bottles also wants to press charges against Fatzinger, according to the Sun.

Fatzinger isn't the only alleged thief to get sidetracked by booze. In 2011, police say Florida man John Robin Whittle ordered a beer at a bar before robbing a bank, then returned to the bar to finish his beer when the robbery was over. Cops arrested him at the bar about 10 minutes after the robbery occurred.

[Bowser]

Is a cigar sometimes just a cigar? That debate will remain unresolved, but The Daily Caller can say with confidence that a banana is definitely not always just a banana at North Marion High School near Ocala, Fla.

School district officials suspended North Marion High teacher Jonathan Hampton for three days without pay after he allegedly used a banana to touch a female student on the head during class, reports Ocala.com.

Hampton was teaching an advanced, college-level course at the time. The theme of the discussion that day was the Freudian ramifications of Ken Kesey’s 1962 novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

According to a May 13, 2013 discipline letter obtained by local CBS-affiliate WKMG, Hampton “rubbed a student’s head and neck area with a banana” while the topic was “cylinder objects, phalluses and/or sex symbols.”

The unidentified student’s parents reported the incident on May 6, some three months after it happened. According to the school district, they complained because their daughter felt uncomfortable. It’s not clear what factors caused them to wait three months to lodge their grievance.

A district representative said that Hampton was suspended because, given the totality of the circumstances, school officials had determined that he made inappropriate use of the banana.

The discipline letter written by deputy superintendent Rick Lankford suggested that other students had complained that Hampton’s college-level coursework has gone beyond community norms with “excessive frequency, causing discomfort to many of your students.”

Some parents and community members side firmly with the school district.

“That is disgusting, very disgusting,” said Dale Johnson, identified by WKMG as a grandmother. “I don’t think he should be allowed to teach kids. You don’t do stuff like that and get away with it.”

Hampton did not speak with local media but his attorney Mark Fiedelholtz did, telling a much different story.

“He doesn’t recall ever touching the student with a banana, but if he did it would be to get their attention,” Fiedelholtz told WKMG.

“There was nothing else to it,” he also said, according to Ocala.com.

The attorney added that no other students had made a complaint at the time or during the three subsequent months about the alleged banana incident.

Hampton has taught at North Marion High since 2007. According to personnel records obtained by WKMG, his work as a teacher has been generally “outstanding.” He was the 2011-12 teacher of the year. In 2009, though, Hampton landed in hot water for negative online commentary about students and fellow teachers.


http://news.yahoo.com/florida-high-school-suspends-teacher-touching-girl-head-153604620.html

[gblowfish]

A Florida woman allegedly came up with a half-cocked plan to take the law into her own hands.

Officials say Natasha Myers, 23, used her car keys to etch a penis onto the hood of a silver Kia in the parking lot of a grocery store in Wesley Chapel on April 17, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

The rude rendering was complete with a note, which read:

"Hey I keyed your car. You didn't stop for pedestrians as is law. Since no cop to enforce a ticket, this should cover the cost of your fine. Have a good day. P.S. Don't be a dick."

Surveillance footage led to Myers' arrest earlier this week.

Myers admitted to deputies she vandalized the SUV because the driver failed to yield to pedestrians, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The owner of the Kia, Debra Streets, told investigators she did not remember seeing any pedestrians in the parking lot.

Myers was charged with criminal mischief and booked into the Pasco County Jail Tuesday, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. She was released Wednesday on $5,000 bond.

[AussieChiefsFan]

Florida Man Holds Teen At Gunpoint In Order To Get Ride To Store

The Escambia County Sheriff’s Office is looking for a man they believed forced a teenager to drive him to the store at gunpoint.

The incident happened on May 12. The 17-year-old was near W Street and Michigan Avenue with his car’s window rolled halfway down, deputies said.

The gunman approached the car, pointed a pistol at the teen and told him he needed a ride to the store.

The teen drove him to a store in the 4000 block of North W Street and left the scene after going into the store, deputies said.

Investigators believe the suspect is in his 20s and is about 6 feet tall and 170 pounds.

Anyone with information can call 436-9615 or Gulf Coast Crime Stoppers at 433-STOP

[AussieChiefsFan]

Florida Man Accused Of Trying To Bribe Cop After Pepper-Spraying Baby

A routine trip to tow an illegally parked car ended up with a baby being pepper-sprayed, a false report of shots fired and the tow truck driver arrested on bribery charges.

It all began shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, when Carmel Towing driver Ronald Tyler showed up to a large party to tow away illegally parked vehicles inside the Olive Glen Community complex in Pompano Beach.

Witnesses told the Broward Sheriff's Office that Tyler, 22, of Fort Lauderdale, argued with several people at the bounce-house party.

Tyler then loaded one of the cars that had been parked on a swale.

According to a sheriff's report, the car's owner, Daniel Sosa, told deputies he was trying to convince Tyler not to tow the vehicle, when Sosa suddenly was doused with what the report listed as a large "Police Magnum OC-17" pepper spray. A woman and her 1-year-old daughter also were sprayed, according to the report.

Those who were sprayed, including the baby, were taken to Broward Health North, where they were treated and released.

Tyler tried to convince a deputy not to arrest him by offering several bribes, the Sheriff's Office said. But it didn't work: Tyler was arrested on charges that include bribery and three counts of battery, the agency said.

Reached by phone Wednesday, Tyler said he fired the pepper spray to defend himself from an angry mob at the party. He said he never tried to bribe the deputy.

"When I got there, it was a zoo," Tyler said. "Everyone was drunk and turned on me."

Neither Sosa nor other partygoers could be reached for comment Wednesday.

Carmel Towing provides towing service for the Olive Glen apartment complex, and Tyler was dispatched when an association manager phoned the company to remove illegally parked cars, according to a Carmel Towing manager.

Tyler said he was hoisting Sosa's Nissan Xterra onto his truck, when the Xterra's owner jumped inside his car and drove it off the tow truck. He said it broke off the Xterra's bumper. According to Tyler, the car's owner accused him of breaking the bumper and took a swing at him, prompting Tyler to fire the pepper spray in defense. He said he didn't see any children when he fired the spray.

"I wanted to get out of there and call 911," he said.

After the encounter, Tyler phoned authorities to report that someone fired shots at him, which led to additional charges, officials said. He told Sheriff's Deputy M. Berman that he thought he "heard a pop."

"I am not sure," Tyler allegedly said. "It had to be a gun."

Deputies questioned Tyler's version of events and determined no one at the party fired a gun, the Sheriff's Office said. Tyler also was charged with issuing a false report during the commission of a crime and misuse of 911.

While being arrested, Tyler told Berman that he couldn't afford to go to jail.

"I know a drug dealer I can give you," Tyler told the deputy, according to the Sheriff's Office. When Berman said he wasn't in the narcotics unit, Tyler then allegedly said, "you can have all the cash in my wallet if you let me out of here."

In his report, Berman wrote that he initially ignored the offer, but Tyler again tried to bribe him five minutes later. "I'll call my job and have them sign over my $500 paycheck to you," Tyler said, according to the deputy.

Berman called his sergeant and told him to bring an audio recorder. Tyler then allegedly repeated the bribe, and it was recorded by the Sheriff's Office. A copy of the recording has not been made public.

Tyler denied trying to bribe Berman and said he didn't know he was being recorded. "We were having a conversation, and he tried to make it into something," he said.

After being freed from jail, Tyler said he was back at work Wednesday.

Tyler's manager, David Gonzalez, said he went to the scene Sunday and also described the crowd as being intoxicated. "My guy was trying to defend himself," Gonzalez said. "He did nothing wrong."

[gblowfish]

Anthony Bruce Berry, 57, is accused of rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

Some guys like blondes, others like brunettes, but Anthony Bruce Berry allegedly has a thing for doors.

Berry, 57, was arrested Monday for allegedly rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

According to the probable cause affidavit obtained by The Huffington Post, a witness observed the suspect attempt to open the front door of the business, the name of which has been redacted.

When he couldn't, he whipped out his own knob and started to, as the report describes it, "hump the front door in a vulgar manner."

After completing his front door banging -- which was reportedly captured on the witness' iPhone -- Berry walked over to a nearby bus stop and sat on the bench.

The arresting officer confronted the suspect and asked him if he had recently exposed his private parts, to which, Berry allegedly said, "Yes, I have a mental problem."

The officer said Berry continued to make similar statements before he was arrested for exposing his sexual organs.

Berry was subsequently taken to the Palm Beach County Jail, then released two hours later. No word on the condition of the jail doors after his brief visit.

This isn't Berry's first bout with the law. He has faced charges of indecent exposure two times before, and has had 32 other arrests for charges such as robbery, sexual assault and cocaine possession since 1979, the Sun-Sentinel reported.

[gblowfish]

When Stepfon Muse and his wife started arguing last Wednesday, he wanted to nip it in the bud.

Instead, he nipped her in the butt, police say. The 30-year-old Palm Bay, Fla. man was arrested on charges of aggravated battery after investigators saw a visible bite mark on the victim's caboose, WKMG reports.

Police were called to check out reports of a disturbance between the couple, and found Muse and his wife in their car, according to WTSP. The victim claimed that she tried to get out of the car but Muse restrained her, struck her and then bit her buttocks.

Muse was arrested and held without bond at the Brevard County Jail.

Couples across the country seem to be going for sensitive areas during their arguments lately.

Christina Salinas, of Sacramento, Calif., allegedly bit her husband's penis late last month because he wanted her to leave a rodeo early. Her victim, Anthony Hill, is recovering. He apparently regrets having called the police.

And in April, Catherine Kieu was convicted of drugging her estranged husband, cutting off his penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, according to The Associated Press. Frank Bittar, Kieu's public defender, argued during the trial that Kieu's husband had verbally and sexually abused her during their marriage.

[J Diddy]

When Stepfon Muse and his wife started arguing last Wednesday, he wanted to nip it in the bud.

Instead, he nipped her in the butt, police say. The 30-year-old Palm Bay, Fla. man was arrested on charges of aggravated battery after investigators saw a visible bite mark on the victim's caboose, WKMG reports.

Police were called to check out reports of a disturbance between the couple, and found Muse and his wife in their car, according to WTSP. The victim claimed that she tried to get out of the car but Muse restrained her, struck her and then bit her buttocks.

Muse was arrested and held without bond at the Brevard County Jail.

Couples across the country seem to be going for sensitive areas during their arguments lately.

Christina Salinas, of Sacramento, Calif., allegedly bit her husband's penis late last month because he wanted her to leave a rodeo early. Her victim, Anthony Hill, is recovering. He apparently regrets having called the police.

And in April, Catherine Kieu was convicted of drugging her estranged husband, cutting off his penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, according to The Associated Press. Frank Bittar, Kieu's public defender, argued during the trial that Kieu's husband had verbally and sexually abused her during their marriage.

There's too much penis abuse in the world today.

[tooge]

Holy shit. From now on when I go to Florida, my penis stays here.

[gblowfish]

Model parents they ain't....

A Lake County man and woman have been arrested after a 4-year-old boy shot off a portion of one of his fingers.

Now that child is in emergency DCF custody.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said deputies were called to Florida Hospital Waterman in Tavares Sunday morning for the report of a child being shot.

After arriving at the hospital’s emergency room, deputies learned that the boy had shot off a portion of his left ring finger with a handgun that was apparently kept in a home located at 45910 Georgia Rd. in Altoona.

Investigators said the boy told the deputy at the hospital that he knew the gun was located in the couch because he had seen an adult in the home place it there the night before. The child told the deputy that he took the gun from the couch and went outside with it which is where it went off.

Detectives then interviewed the adults, Donald Greeson, 40, and Tracy Greeson, 34, involved the incident.

Donald Greeson initially told detectives he had placed the gun on top of the entertainment center in the living room, but then later admitted to putting it in the corner of the sofa the night before the incident. Detectives also said Greeson admitted to smoking marijuana and taking prescription pills the day before the incident and admitted to smoking meth as recently as two days before the incident.

Deputies searched the home and found marijuana in plain view and within reach of the child. They said appeared the child had been sleeping on the floor of one bedroom where deputies found pills. Deputies said they also found drug paraphernalia, including a bong pipe and a digital scale with residue within reach of the child.

Deputies arrested both Donald and Tracy Greeson in connection with the incident. Donald Greeson was charged with child neglect, unsafe storage of a firearm, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, possession of paraphernalia and possession of methamphetamine.

Tracy Greeson was charged with child neglect.

The Department of Children and Families was contacted and is conducting an investigation.

The child was later transported to Florida Hospital South in Orlando, where his entire finger was amputated. He should be able to go home Tuesday.

[J Diddy]

I hope they left the middle finger so whenever he looks at his piece of poo papa he can show him the bird ever single time.

That being said that's tragic.

[seclark]

Deputies searched the home and found marijuana in plain view and within reach of the child.

if the kid would have just smoked that weed, he wouldn't have shot his finger off./bump

[Frosty]

It all began shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, when Carmel Towing driver Ronald Tyler showed up to a large party to tow away illegally parked vehicles inside the Olive Glen Community complex in Pompano Beach.

I totally read that as "Camel Towing". That would be an awesome name for a towing company.

[J Diddy]

I totally read that as "Camel Towing". That would be an awesome name for a towing company.

LMAO

Yes it would.

[teedubya]

A few others agree

http://media.merchantcircle.com/32374171/Camel%20Towing2344_full.jpeg

http://cameltowing.com/images/Camel_Towing_WebHeader_size2.jpg

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRTiP5wQrQO-Z6iuSQh84HOPz_bHu3_jO0B1sWJFmIVQwuOu5N6XQ

[Sorter]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-woman-wild-dunkin-donuts-workers-article-1.1368965#ixzz2VvHhSgyi

Her racist run on Dunkin' has backfired.
A Florida woman who filmed herself berating Dunkin Donuts employees for not giving her free food has been identified as Taylor Chapman, a 27-year-old Broward County resident and former low-budget commercial spokeswoman, according to The Smoking Gun.
Chapman went off on workers at a Fort Lauderdale store last week after claiming an employee the night before didn't honor the company's policy of comping her meal after forgetting her receipt.
In the 8-minute video — which Chapman appears to have posted online — the iPhone-toting crackpot unleashes an avalanche of profanities and threats, at one point calling the employee who wronged her a "little f----- sand n-----."

"Because I'm about to nuke your whole f------ planet from Mars," Chapman seethes after spotting the worker who served her the night before.
"You think you all are tough big fat Arabs bombing the Trade Center? I'll show you tough."
"This s--- is about to go live b----. Right on Facebook," she says.

The Dunkin' Donuts employees remain courteous during the ordeal and assured Chapman she could get whatever she wanted for no charge."I want my bacon crispy, and I want my people to be nice," she mutters at one point to another customer.
The video went viral on Sunday and Monday, and Chapman was quickly outed by The Smoking Gun and other sites as the Coolata-loving creep.


Thousands of commenters on YouTube and other sites slammed Champan for the abuse.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get her receipt at Dunkin' Donuts," one Smoking Gun reader quipped.
RELATED: TV NEWS SHOW ADDS ACCIDENTAL DOSE OF PORN
According to her LinkedIn page, Chapman went to Nova Southeastern University in Orlando and graduated in 2013.

Chapman's Facebook and Instagram accounts have been pulled down since the video went viral.

Her last listed job was a medical device firm, though an employee there told The Smoking Gun she hadn't worked there in a year.
She also appeared in a several low-budget commercials for a variety of small Florida businesses, including a Chinese food restaurant and an Internet marketing company.
Dunkin' Donuts spokeswoman Jessica Gioglio said in a statement that the company was proud of the store's employees for the way they handled the ugly incident.
"We are aware of the video and the situation that occurred at the Dunkin' Donuts restaurant located in Fort Lauderdale," Gioglio said. "We commend the franchisee's crew member for handling this difficult situation with grace and patience. We believe this is a powerful example of great customer service and the respect our crew members have for our guests."


Video: <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kgymk1YHyok" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Pics:
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1368962.1370956805!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/receipt12n-2-web.jpg

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1368963.1370956808!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/receipt12n-3-web.jpg

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1368964.1370956812!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/receipt12n-1-web.jpg

[gblowfish]

I usually don't approve of punching a chick in the face. I might have to make an exception.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/ku4uuwe

Looks like this guy wasn't using his noodle.

Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese.

A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy's missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking.

The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother's stomach.
When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando.

Randy allegedly admitted that "I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn't mean to."

He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.

[gblowfish]

A Florida woman and her buddy were arrested Friday after attacking and robbing a man who thought he was going to have sex for money, police said.

Jennifer Leigh Robbins, 20, lured the victim to a Melrose Super 8 motel room at about 6:30 p.m., according to the Gainesville Sun. The victim placed $500 in $20 bills on the microwave and closed the blinds, but when he turned around Robbins allegedly attacked him with pepper spray.

Moments later, Robbins' alleged accomplice, Matthew Stuart Pauley, 24, entered the room. The three started fighting, and the melee spilled out into the hallway. Other hotel guests separated the two men. Robbins and Pauley then fled.

But they left some of the cash and a motel key card, which led police to the suspects, the Sun-Sentinel reports. Robbins and Pauley were arrested after police interviews.

Theft and sex never mix.

Nobody knows that better than Chelsey Coutts, whose $500 worth of sex toys were stolen from the trunk of her car earlier this month. The hot-and-bothered victim had been saving the toys for a bachelorette party in Oregon.

[gblowfish]

Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

[BigMeatballDave]

Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.LMAO

[gblowfish]

Every time I'm thinking Florida is losing its burst....along comes another story!

http://tinyurl.com/ozu38zb

Think twice before agreeing to pose naked for your roommate in exchange for free rent.

A man in Lake County, Fla., learned that truism the hard way after he moved out last August.

Police said the picture-taking roomie, identified as Samuel Otero, 37, started texting the victim constantly. Even worse: he allegedly sent the nude pictures he took to the victim's co-workers and girlfriend. He even left one of the naked snaps on a car belonging to the victim's grandmother, police said, according to CFNews13.com.

Things really came to a head on Monday when Otero allegedly threatened to shoot his ex-roomie and then himself if the two couldn't be together.

Police arrested the suspect on Tuesday for stalking, and he was later released on $5,500 bond, the Miami New Times reported.

Dangerous and sometimes deadly roommate behavior is near constant fodder for headlines.

In March, James White, a student at the University of York in England, was banned from owning a pet for eight years after he drunkenly fried up his roommate's hamster

[RippedmyFlesh]

hot teacher/florida post


A former Martin County High School English teacher in Florida said she lost her job after one of her racy modeling photos came to the attention of the school's principal.
"Lots of teachers get fired or asked to resign for the same things I did," Sprauer told HuffPost. "I knew I didn't want to come back next year and I knew I wanted to go to grad school so I decided if I made it to the end of the year I would be happy."

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1123118/thumbs/o-OLIVIA-SPRAUER-TEACHER-570.jpg?6

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/07/olivia-sprauer-teacher_n_3230211.html

[bevischief]

Would.

[gblowfish]

If you're trying to cop a feel, make sure you're not feeling a cop.

In two unrelated incidents, two men in Port Charlotte, Fla., were arrested last week for allegedly grabbing the groins of undercover detectives, according to a news release from the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office.

The first alleged groping happened on June 17, when 66-year-old Michael Lawrence McGrael approached the undercover detective at a park.

The detective says the two men "made casual conversation" and McGrael brought him to a secluded area. McGrael then allegedly asked the officer about "a particular type of sexual arousal" and grabbed the man's crotch.

He was arrested, pleaded guilty to battery, and was sentenced to 10 days in jail and 6 months probation.

On June 25, a different undercover detective says he was in the same park when 62-year-old Alfred Thomas Carreiro came up to him. Carreiro allegedly asked the detective if he wanted to have some oral sex, and the detective replied that he wasn't sure. The officer says the pair then walked to "an even more secluded area," at which point Carreiro grabbed his crotch.

Carreiro was also arrested for battery.

[BlackHelicopters]

Yes.

[mcan]

Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.



Old man had it coming apparently. Really dad? Really? You're gonna start bitchin' at me about the KoolAid now?! (bap bap bap). I've had enough of this bullshit. I'm out.

[CrazyPhuD]

Apparently women in FL have learned the value of roofies!

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/28/justice/florida-female-thieves/index.html

South Florida authorities are asking for the public's help to find a group of "foxy thieves" they say are drugging men they pick up at high-end bars and stealing tens of thousands of dollars in cash, jewelry, guns and other valuables.

Hey at least they still have their kidneys!

[AussieChiefsFan]

The Florida of Australia.

http://cdn.lifeinthefastlane.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/NT-News-dildo.jpg

[Dave Lane]

So where did it come from?

[Tribal Warfare]

Would.

Wreck

[gblowfish]

Boy, you guys thought I was grumpy about the Fourth of July...check out this guy:

http://tinyurl.com/lqwc597

NAPLES, Fla.- Collier County Sheriff's deputies arrested Richard Rice, 72, Thursday after he allegedly flipped a man over in his wheelchair over a fireworks dispute.

Rice was charged with one count of abuse of the disabled without great harm after multiple witnesses said Rice threw the victim to the ground just before 9:45 p.m.

According to the victim, who is confined to a wheelchair, he and his family were standing in their driveway as children played with fireworks in the street. Rice allegedly walked from his home, carrying a clear, plastic bottle labeled "gas," and proceeded to threatened the children and adults with the gasoline. He told them he would pour gasoline on the driveway, so that if they lit anymore fireworks, they would catch on fire. Rice then reportedly said, "The party's over," and poured gasoline in the roadway, near the children, who were holding sparklers at the time. The adults began to yell for the children to get away from the gas.

When the adults approached Rice, asking why he was doing this, he allegedly grabbed the victim's wheelchair with both hands and flipped him over. The victim was ejected, and sustained cuts, scratches and road rash. Gasoline had spilled out of the container Rice was holding and onto the victim in the process. The adults yelled that they were calling 911, and Rice fled into his home.

Deputies say Rice was unsteady on his feet and smelled of alcohol when they met with him shortly after the incident. He told them the fireworks were disturbing his dogs. After waiting two hours, Rice said he walked outside with the gasoline, as a warning. He claimed the victim was verbally abusive and yelled profanities at him before running into him with his wheelchair.

Rice had not called CCSO to complain about the fireworks, before taking matters into his own hands, and admitted to knowing the victim was disabled.

The victim expressed wishes to press charges against Rice. Deputies then arrested Rice and transported him to the Naples Jail.*

[AussieChiefsFan]

So where did it come from?

We never found out. Well, unless you lived in the northern territory and bought this newspaper.


Maybe I should look into this.

[gblowfish]

Police trying to bust up an underage drinking party say they got more than they bargained for when they ran into an intoxicated mom, rowdy teens and a barricaded condo door.

Mixed among the scattered beer and liquor bottles across the floor, police said they found a girl, 16, choking on her vomit in a restroom. She was treated at St. Mary's Hospital.

It all happened as the 7-year-old son of the listed condo owner, Kimberly Clark Kiernan, 39, of Palm Beach Shores, was locked in a room during a Monday night party with 26 minors, according to a Palm Beach Shores Police Department arrest report.

Finding the mom so intoxicated that she urinated on herself, police called the Department of Children & Families Emergency Hotline after kicking in a door to free the child, according to the report.

Kiernan could not be reached for comment despite a phone call on Friday. But in an interview with news partner WPEC-Ch.12, she denied the charges and answered "I don't drink" when asked if police had it wrong.

She adds that she plans to fight the charges, according to CBS 12.

Palm Beach Shores Police Lt. Steve Langevin said he was surprised at Kiernan's behavior

"When you have alcohol and kids, nothing good comes from it," he said. "They're looking for adults to make decisions and it's unfortunate that a woman would bring that many kids to her home. The adults are supposed to take care of the kids."

At 10:43 p.m. Monday, neighbors at the building in the 100 block of Lake Drive reported a possible fight with a large group outside.

Two officers arrived to find a neighbor who told them a child lives in the apartment hosting the party. An officer looked up to see Kiernan on a balcony with several young men throwing bottles into a cardboard box. After asking the group to stop and come down, the group headed inside and closed the doors and blinds, according to the report.

Two officers headed up to the apartment with the building manager, who told them he had problems with Kiernan throwing parties and disturbing other residents.

An officer knocked on Kiernan's door and told the partiers the officer needed to check on the child inside. That's when an officer said the people inside the apartment told the police that they were breaking the law, were being taped and that they needed to leave.

After talking through the door for about 20 minutes, Kiernan walked out, according to the report.

Officers said Kiernan got angry when they asked about the child. Police said "she was immediately jerked backward when unknown male individuals hiding behind the door pulled her into the hallway and slammed the door shut."

Police said someone inside the door barricaded the door so forcefully that it cracked and bowed outward.

As one of the officers headed downstairs to call for backup, the other officer waited near the door where he said people inside began making threats and said they were going to "stand their ground against the police with force if police attempted to enter," an officer wrote in the report.

When two Riviera Beach police sergeants, a canine officer, and five patrol officers arrived, the police headed back to the apartment only to see a list of demands for police slide under the door.

It's unclear what the demands were.

After more talking, the officers managed to yank open the door when several teens came sprinting out. Police rounded up 26 minors mostly between 14 and 17, according to the report. Officers found Kiernan hiding under a pile of clothes.

Before sending them home to their parents, police said at least five of the teens told them they played the same games with Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office deputies near Jupiter at another party. The minors were "blatantly disrespectful" after being told how dangerous these games are, according to the report.

Kiernan was booked into Palm Beach County Jail on Tuesday and released on $8,000 bail Wednesday. She faces charges of making a false report, resisting an officer, cruelty toward a child and 26 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

[Predarat]

http://www.stvanairsdale.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/pitbull_bl10-1.jpg

[Discuss Thrower]

http://www.stvanairsdale.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/pitbull_bl10-1.jpg

That's a Aristocrat party if I've ever heard one.

[J Diddy]

Every time I'm thinking Florida is losing its burst....along comes another story!

http://tinyurl.com/ozu38zb

Think twice before agreeing to pose naked for your roommate in exchange for free rent.

A man in Lake County, Fla., learned that truism the hard way after he moved out last August.

Police said the picture-taking roomie, identified as Samuel Otero, 37, started texting the victim constantly. Even worse: he allegedly sent the nude pictures he took to the victim's co-workers and girlfriend. He even left one of the naked snaps on a car belonging to the victim's grandmother, police said, according to CFNews13.com.

Things really came to a head on Monday when Otero allegedly threatened to shoot his ex-roomie and then himself if the two couldn't be together.

Police arrested the suspect on Tuesday for stalking, and he was later released on $5,500 bond, the Miami New Times reported.

Dangerous and sometimes deadly roommate behavior is near constant fodder for headlines.

In March, James White, a student at the University of York in England, was banned from owning a pet for eight years after he drunkenly fried up his roommate's hamster

I would never room with a dude who had a hamster.

[tooge]

No, but I bet the guy that fried the hamster is a fun dude to hang out with.

[J Diddy]

No, but I bet the guy that fried the hamster is a fun dude to hang out with.

Probably makes a great hamster and cheese sandwich.

[gblowfish]

Police say they caught a robber in Lady Lake, Fla., taking jewelry and a nap.

Domonique Pinkard, 21, was allegedly asleep on the couch of a residence on Winners Circle when the homeowner walked into the living room, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

The homeowner called the cops, who determined that Pinkard and his accomplice, 20-year-old Julian Evangelist, kicked in the back door around 7:30 a.m. Pinkard then conked out on the sofa while Evangelist allegedly made off with a TV. Evangelist, it seems, failed to wake up his his partner in crime.

Investigators say Pinkard told them he'd been "working hard all day and he just needed to sit down for a moment, and evidently, he fell asleep," according to WESH.

Police also say they found an estimated $500 worth of the victim's jewelry in Pinkard's pockets, according to NBC Miami. Other items, including clothing and electronics, were allegedly found at Evangelist's home.

Both men were jailed on charges of burglary and grand theft.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Police say they caught a robber in Lady Lake, Fla., taking jewelry and a nap.

Domonique Pinkard, 21, was allegedly asleep on the couch of a residence on Winners Circle when the homeowner walked into the living room, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

The homeowner called the cops, who determined that Pinkard and his accomplice, 20-year-old Julian Evangelist, kicked in the back door around 7:30 a.m. Pinkard then conked out on the sofa while Evangelist allegedly made off with a TV. Evangelist, it seems, failed to wake up his his partner in crime.

Investigators say Pinkard told them he'd been "working hard all day and he just needed to sit down for a moment, and evidently, he fell asleep," according to WESH.

Police also say they found an estimated $500 worth of the victim's jewelry in Pinkard's pockets, according to NBC Miami. Other items, including clothing and electronics, were allegedly found at Evangelist's home.

Both men were jailed on charges of burglary and grand theft.

Hey gb... just curious why you don't include the link? Why not give the reporting station some love and potential clicks for the story?

[gblowfish]

Hey gb... just curious why you don't include the link? Why not give the reporting station some love and potential clicks for the story?

Here ya go: http://tinyurl.com/myjo95x

[CrazyPhuD]

If all the FL CP members stop posting we know why.....

http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugged-in/florida-may-accidentally-banned-computers-smartphones-163211435.html

Florida may have accidentally banned computers and smartphones
By Chris Morris

Got a laptop or an iPhone in Florida? You could be violating the law.

In an attempt to ban Internet cafes in the Sunshine State, legislators may have been a bit too broad in their language, resulting in what some legal experts say is a law that inadvertently makes it illegal to own a computer or a smartphone.

The bill, which was signed into law by Florida governor Rick Scott in April, was meant to shut down cafes, some of which have been tied to illegal gambling in the state. And shut them down it did: over 1,000 cafes were immediately closed.

But it's the wording that's problematic, as it defines a slot machine as "any machine or device or system or network of devices" that can be used in games of chance. Turns out the Internet is full of gambling sites, which is where the definition runs into some problems.

Consuelo Zapata, owner of the Miami-Dade county Internet cafe Incredible Investments, LLC, is suing the state to overturn the ban, saying that definition is too broad and could be applied to any number of electronic devices.

Zapata and her legal team contend the bill was created and written in kneejerk fashion after a charity group associated with Florida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was shut down on suspicion of being an Internet gambling front, leading to her resignation.

"The Florida Legislature rushed to pass broad-sweeping amendments to existing statutes that violate the United States Constitution in a frenzy fueled by distorted judgment in the wake of a scandal that included the Lieutenant Governor’s resignation," the complaint reads.

If Zapata's accusations are correct, that puts Florida at the top of the list of wacky online laws passed in the past 18 months.

Last April, Arizona updated its telecommunications harassment bill to target cyberbullies, but the language -- which used such broad words as "annoy" and "offend" -- basically made it a Class 1 misdemeanor to troll someone on a message board.

One month later, New York tried something similar, proposing legislation that would legally force you to identify yourself if someone didn't like your comment on a Web site, essentially banning anonymous online comments.

The Arizona bill was reworded, while New York's quietly died.

[Al Bundy]

http://fox4kc.com/2013/07/13/man-arrested-after-commenting-on-own-wanted-facebook-photo/

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. — An alleged Florida fugitive was caught by authorities after the Pasco Sheriff’s Office posted his “wanted” photo on their Facebook page and the man commented on it.

Matthew Oliver saw his photo and began to defend himself in a series of comments, WTSP-TV reported.

“Matthew Oliver if you would like to discuss your active warrant, please call the Fugitive Warrants Unit at 813-235-6064,” a reply post from the Pasco Sheriff’s Office said.

However, Oliver didn’t call and instead kept commenting. He was later arrested after officers were waiting for him outside his apartment.

[RippedmyFlesh]

Cops: Woman, 25, Left Her Two Little Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

A Florida woman left her two young children--ages five and three--unattended in her car for several hours while she attended a Lil Wayne concert last night, cops report.
Brittany Harris, 25, was arrested on a pair of child neglect charges after the children were left unsupervised in a parking lot at the South Florida Fairgrounds,according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/children-left-in-car-at-lil-wayne-concert-698432



http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/brittanyharris.jpg

[Beef Supreme]

Florida woman accused of shoplifting throws her baby at deputy.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/florida-woman-accused-of-shoplifting-threw-her-baby-at-deputy-officials-say/-/1637132/21011320/-/mkc568/-/index.html

Didn't the deputy know, when someone throws a baby, you swat it to the ground.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/lechcbp

A Florida man has been charged with child abuse and battery after allegedly choking a teenage driver who gave him the middle finger.

Edward L. Lepore, of Palm Bay, was arrested around 4:30 p.m. Thursday, according to Florida Today.

Police say Lepore, 57, got into an argument with the 16-year-old boy, and the teen wound up flipping him off and driving away. Lepore then allegedly tailed the boy in his car until the teen pulled over, according to WOFL Fox 35.
Lepore got out of his vehicle and approached the window. The victim asked why he was being followed. That's when Lepore allegedly reached in through the window and strangled the boy for a few seconds.

The teen suffered minor injuries, according to WESH.

[Dave Lane]

Too obvious to say he should have tailed him then shot him?

[loochy]

tubby Florida man shoots unarmed teen that was out to get a bag of candy

[Phobia]

Cops: Woman, 25, Left Her Two Little Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

A Florida woman left her two young children--ages five and three--unattended in her car for several hours while she attended a Lil Wayne concert last night, cops report.
Brittany Harris, 25, was arrested on a pair of child neglect charges after the children were left unsupervised in a parking lot at the South Florida Fairgrounds,according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/children-left-in-car-at-lil-wayne-concert-698432

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/brittanyharris.jpg

There's a goofy Chiefs fan who wears a red darth vader costume to the stadium trolling for free tickets. One guy offered him a single a couple years back and then took it back when Red Vader indicated he was going to leave his young son in the car for the game.

[gblowfish]

Strike tree, she's out!

Police say Veronica Doctor, 45, was attempting to run over her ex-boyfriend with her car -- but she crashed into a tree instead, the Miami Herald reported.

The Hollywood, Fla. woman drove to the home of her ex, 24-year-old Eliezer Alce, at around 2 a.m. Tuesday morning. Alce refused to come outside until he noticed Doctor was driving around in circles on his lawn.

The two got into an argument over Doctor allegedly driving drunk, according to WINK News. Alce told deputies that when he tried to walk away, his ex pursued him in her car and crashed into a tree as he jumped out of the way.

Police and emergency responders got to the house 15 minutes later, CBS Tampa reported. Medics say that Doctor was drunk, with a BAC of .259.

She is charged with aggravated assault and driving under the influence.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/mzeytl7

If you assault your roommate because he changed the radio station, eventually you'll have to face the music.

Police say Josue Rodriguez, 40, attacked his roommate with a machete because the roommate changed the radio station, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

Rodriguez was allegedly taking a shower in his Lake Worth home when he heard the radio station change. When he confronted his roommate, the man gave him a push. In response, cops say, Rodriguez grabbed a nearby machete and began whacking at his roommate, hitting him in the cheek.
The roommate managed to get away and called 911. In the police cruiser, police say Rodriguez told them "I only had the machete because I was going to sleep in the woods for the night."

No word on what radio station the roommate made the mistake of choosing, but the wrong tunes have definitely driven people over the edge before.

In April, a Colorado woman was accused of assaulting her boyfriend after he played Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" 25 times in a row.

In October, a Florida man allegedly hit his boyfriend in the face with a plate because he listened to too much Alanis Morrissette.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/m67gdsk
Joseph Michael Brannen had a burning ambition to be a firefighter, but his plans have gone up in smoke.

Brannen, 18, is in hot water after police say he admitted he purposely started a fire at his local library, so he could help put it out.

The fire occurred July 6 at the East Hernando Branch Library in Brooksville, Fla., and investigators immediately suspected foul play when they arrived on the scene and saw a man later identified as Brannen decked out in firefighter gear, the Sun-Sentinel.com reported.

Brannen told authorities he had heard the fire call over the scanner and wanted to help fight the blaze with the equipment he purchased on eBay.
However, he was not allowed to go near the fire.

Upon further investigation, officials began to believe Brannen started the fire himself.

During a voluntary interview, the suspect admitted to starting the blaze in hopes of helping the professional firefighters, according to a release from the Hernando County Sheriff's Dept. During the interview, cops say he provided details about how he entered the library after hours and how he set the fire.

[Tombstone RJ]

http://tinyurl.com/m67gdsk
Joseph Michael Brannen had a burning ambition to be a firefighter, but his plans have gone up in smoke.

Brannen, 18, is in hot water after police say he admitted he purposely started a fire at his local library, so he could help put it out.

The fire occurred July 6 at the East Hernando Branch Library in Brooksville, Fla., and investigators immediately suspected foul play when they arrived on the scene and saw a man later identified as Brannen decked out in firefighter gear, the Sun-Sentinel.com reported.

Brannen told authorities he had heard the fire call over the scanner and wanted to help fight the blaze with the equipment he purchased on eBay.
However, he was not allowed to go near the fire.

Upon further investigation, officials began to believe Brannen started the fire himself.

During a voluntary interview, the suspect admitted to starting the blaze in hopes of helping the professional firefighters, according to a release from the Hernando County Sheriff's Dept. During the interview, cops say he provided details about how he entered the library after hours and how he set the fire.

Here's a young man who thinks outside the box. He's a go-getter. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, or in his case, without burning the omelette to a crisp and then stuffing it down someone's throat.

[ThaVirus]

In April, a Colorado woman was accused of assaulting her boyfriend after he played Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" 25 times in a row.
.

She must not listen to the radio.

[gblowfish]

From the Yahoo Sports Page:

The championship game of a premier youth soccer tournament at Walt Disney World devolved into an out-of-control melee, with players, parents and even grandparents involved in a brawl. Most strikingly, a grandparent of one player was reportedly punched in the chest, setting off his pacemaker and paving the road to a possible felony assault charge.

According to the Orlando Sentinel and Orlando ABC affiliate WSVN, Orlando FC/QPR Academy was facing off against Pachuca Academy of Miami in the championship match of the Disney Cup International Youth Soccer Tournament. After Orlando FC eked out a close victory, Pachuca athletes reportedly rushed the field and began a violent brawl with their Orlando FC counterparts.

That’s when Miami parents reportedly rushed the field to get in on the brawl, according to the parents of Orlando players who were injured in the fight, as relayed to the Sentinel.

"What made this insane was that the parents cleared the bench," said Matthew Feinberg, whose son Jordan, 16, was treated at Florida Hospital Celebration Health for a concussion and other injuries. "The parents on their team helped their children. They even hit some kids on our team.

"A grandparent was punched in the chest, and his pacemaker went off," Feinberg said. "He was on the ground."

At one point, Jordan Feinberg was reportedly pummeled on the ground by multiple Pachuca players, leading to his eventual hospitalization for a concussion and other effects of the fight. In connection with the attack, the Osceola County Sherriff’s Office recommended filing felony assault charges against one unidentified Pachuca player.

Despite the claims of the violence on the part of the Miami-based Pachuca squad, representatives from that group told the Miami New Times that their players were being maliciously implicated by a source for the original Sentinel story who was a former Sentinel reporter.

Complicating matters further is a claim from the volunteer director of the Pachuca club that the reaction to the brawl is racially based, against the predominantly Hispanic Pachuca squad.

"The goalkeeper who supposedly had a concussion, he initiated the brawl," Pachuca volunteer director Monica Mularski told the New Times. "It was an Orlando [FC] father who first stepped foot onto the field. And the grandfather with the pacemaker actually assaulted three of our players, and they can identify him as well.

"It's very easy to blame it on us. The majority of our players are hispanic, our coach is Hispanic, most of them speak Spanish. We are not going to say that our kids aren't at fault. All parents and kids on that field assaulting one another should be held accountable. We will hold our kids and parents responsible. We are already putting kids on probation. But it's not so one-sided as it appears in that article."

Clearly, there is plenty of blame to go around on both sides from an incident that is as disturbing as it was shocking, both for what happened and where it took place.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/kou5fms

When day care teacher Michelle Hammack briefly left her classroom to extinguish a nearby fire, she probably did not expect her actions to lead to her own firing.

Hammack was supervising children at her Florida day care center job last week, when she smelled something burning and found a small fire in an adjacent room’s oven. Hours after successfully extinguishing that fire, she was terminated, according to local outlet WTEV-TV.

Hammack’s employer fired her on the grounds that she should not have left the room where her students were sleeping, even though she did so to investigate a potential fire. However, Hammack believes that the fire would have escalated if not for her actions.

"I fired her only because she left her room," Hammack’s employer, Olga Rozhaov, told the TV station. "It's not acceptable, and if anybody else does the same thing, I will fire again. I will fire them. No question."

When writing about the incident, The Daily Caller took Hammack’s side, calling the story a “sign that America is clearly wheezing its last ethical gasps.” The Daily Caller also noted that the local Department of Children and Families is investigating the situation, “apparently at the behest of a WTEV reporter.”

A petition has already popped up The Petition Site, with the mission to “write [sic] the wrong that was done to Michelle Hammack.”

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/cfwnpb9
Kool-Aid, burgers and pot don't mix -- at least if you're calling 911 asking for them.

Jarvis Sutton, 34, was arrested Sunday for allegedly called 911 operators in St. Petersburg, Fla., 80 times wanting "Kool-Aid, burgers and weed to be delivered to him," the Associated Press reports.

Instead, officers delivered him to the Pinellas County Jail, where he was booked on charges of misusing the 911 system, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

Sutton may have been suffering from the worst case of the munchies ever. Arresting officers noted that he kept chewing on the foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser, NBC Miami reports.
Sutton remains in jail on $150 bail. This visit marks his seventh visit to jail in the last two years, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/laoedwm
Florida, you really screwed the pooch on this one.

A recently released registered sex offender was arrested once again on Friday after a neighbor grew worried that someone had molested his dog.

James Lee Lyons, a resident of Augustine, Fla., was taken into custody by the St. Johns County sheriff's Office and charged with two misdemeanors, animal cruelty and sexual activity involving an animal, according to The Times-Union. He was released later that night after paying the $11,000 bond, according to St. Johns County Sheriff's Office records.

The alleged abuse was uncovered after Lyons' neighbor noticed his dog was missing, according to The Times-Union.

When the neighbor began to investigate, he noticed Lyons carrying the dog from his trailer. Because the dog was acting strangely, its owner took it to the hospital, where bestiality was suspected by the emergency veterinarian on duty, according to the St. Augustine Record.

Special Victim’s Detectives then picked up Lyons.

Previously, Lyons served 13 years in prison after being convicted of attempted sexual battery on a child, and a sexual act with a child while in a familial role in 1998, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. He is a registered Sexual Predator in the state.

[gblowfish]

Penny Dane, Florida Cop, Resigns After Nude Photos From 'Red Light Center' Game Surface
Posted: 07/30/2013
http://tinyurl.com/ko6rgrg

A Florida police sergeant resigned after posting nearly 300 graphic photos of herself online, including lewd images taken in uniform.

Sgt. Penny Dane of the Daytona Beach Police Department "admitted she accessed and sent sexually explicit pictures as part of an online game called Red Light Center," according to WKMG.

She admitted to sending the images to her lover using police computers and while on duty.

"[The photos were] extremely pornographic in nature, and in several of the photos that we have since discovered, she was in her uniform," Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood told WKMG.

When asked how she could fulfill her work responsibility of supervising other officers while playing "Red Light Center," Dane reportedly told investigators, "I don't want to say I didn't have any idea what they were doing because then that would be obviously very wrong. I did pay attention to my radio and listen to what they were doing."

Dane was suspended for "similar activity" back in 2012, WESH reports.
The most recent revelations came after Dane accused a colleague of sexual harassment. While looking into her claim, investigators uncovered Dane's racy photos, according to WKMG.

Red Light Center bills itself as a porn-themed online virtual world, similar to Second Life.

[Dayze]

Pics or GTFO

[gblowfish]

Pics or GTFO

Ok...

[Tombstone RJ]

Penny Dane, Florida Cop, Resigns After Nude Photos From 'Red Light Center' Game Surface
Posted: 07/30/2013
http://tinyurl.com/ko6rgrg

A Florida police sergeant resigned after posting nearly 300 graphic photos of herself online, including lewd images taken in uniform.

Sgt. Penny Dane of the Daytona Beach Police Department "admitted she accessed and sent sexually explicit pictures as part of an online game called Red Light Center," according to WKMG.

She admitted to sending the images to her lover using police computers and while on duty.

"[The photos were] extremely pornographic in nature, and in several of the photos that we have since discovered, she was in her uniform," Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood told WKMG.

When asked how she could fulfill her work responsibility of supervising other officers while playing "Red Light Center," Dane reportedly told investigators, "I don't want to say I didn't have any idea what they were doing because then that would be obviously very wrong. I did pay attention to my radio and listen to what they were doing."

Dane was suspended for "similar activity" back in 2012, WESH reports.
The most recent revelations came after Dane accused a colleague of sexual harassment. While looking into her claim, investigators uncovered Dane's racy photos, according to WKMG.

Red Light Center bills itself as a porn-themed online virtual world, similar to Second Life.

she's not the smartest cop in the doughnut shop...

[gblowfish]

Show me on the puppet where he touched you...

http://tinyurl.com/kn5hc7k

A former Florida puppeteer who openly fantasized online about murdering, cooking and eating children will serve 20 years in a federal prison on child porn charges.

Ronald William Brown, 58, was arrested last year on charges of possessing child pornography and conspiring to kidnap a child, The Tampa Bay Times reported last July.

Brown, who was sentenced Monday, had been an active member of his church's youth ministry. He often drove children to the church and performed puppet shows for his congregation. He was also featured on a local Christian Television Network show, Joy Junction.

But in a 29-page criminal complaint filed July 20, 2012, the sinister side of Brown was made evident. While he worked with his church's youth during the day, Brown harbored the desire to rape, carve and cook the body parts of a young parishioner for Easter. As the Tampa Bay Times reported:
"I imagine him wiggling and then going still," Brown told an associate in an Internet chat session, describing his plot to kill and cannibalize a boy at Gulf Coast Church, according to the criminal complaint.

Brown went on in gruesome detail about the different ways he would kill and eat children with another alleged cannibal enthusiast, Michael Arnett, using online monikers that investigators traced to their computers. The two discussed killing--what they called "snuffing"--children as young as 2.

In one chat cited in the complaint, Arnett described drowning a little girl, and in another, he and Brown excitedly talked about a photo, shared by Arnett, of a 3-year-old girl being strangled.

"That's how I would enjoy doing" the unidentified boy from Gulf Coast Church, Brown said.

Brown was found to have over 200 pictures of children on his computer. Many of the children were tied up, gagged and blind-folded. He also solicited photos of dead children online, where he also had conversations about touching boys at a cruise ship pool, according to a report from the Orlando Sentinel.

Investigators said in 1998 they also found boys' underwear at Brown's home, and a blowup doll dressed in children's clothes. Brown said he used the items for puppet shows.

WTSP reported that although Brown told investigators he wanted to eat a little boy he met at his church and had discussed his fantasies on a Yahoo message board, he never intended to actually harm children.

Along with being sentenced to 20 years in prison, Brown will have a lifetime of probation. He will also have to register as a sex offender, is prohibited from having contact with minors and banned from having access to a computer with online service.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/lwav29v
At least they HAD sex in high school.

Two teen Floridian lovebirds are accused of breaking into a high school in Daytona Beach, Fla. to have sex, WFTV reported.

It's unclear whether Vincent Ewell, 18, and Lindsay Longbottom, 19 actually engaged in any hands-on biology lessons inside the high school, but cops say they found the pair driving away from the high school after the break-in at around 3 a.m. Wednesday, WESH reported.

While inside the building, Ewell and Longbottom allegedly vandalized vending machines to satisfy what they described to cops as "beer munchies," according to WKMG.

Officers say Longbottom told them they broke into the high school because they needed a place to have sex where her boyfriend wouldn't find out.
They are both charged with burglary. Ewell is also charged with criminal mischief.

[gblowfish]

The fast food was not fast enough.

An argument over who was first in line at a McDonald's drive-thru ended with a man stabbed in the butt and a woman on her way to jail.

The commotion began when Rebecca Simmons, 45, reportedly attempted to cut ahead of Mohammad Abukhder, 35, as they were starting their Wednesday morning with a McDonald's breakfast in Riverview, Fla., WTSP reports.

Abukhder complained, causing Simmons to exit her car holding a small knife and puncture the hood of Abukhder's 2000 Honda Civic, according to ABC Action News. Then, as Abukhder tried to grab Simmons' keys so she could not leave, she allegedly stabbed him in the right buttocks.

Abukhder suffered a small puncture and did not require medical attention.

Simmons was arrested and brought to the Orient Road Jail on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage, according to the Tampa Tribune.

[Halfcan]

Show me on the puppet where he touched you...

http://tinyurl.com/kn5hc7k

A former Florida puppeteer who openly fantasized online about murdering, cooking and eating children will serve 20 years in a federal prison on child porn charges.

Ronald William Brown, 58, was arrested last year on charges of possessing child pornography and conspiring to kidnap a child, The Tampa Bay Times reported last July.

Brown, who was sentenced Monday, had been an active member of his church's youth ministry. He often drove children to the church and performed puppet shows for his congregation. He was also featured on a local Christian Television Network show, Joy Junction.

But in a 29-page criminal complaint filed July 20, 2012, the sinister side of Brown was made evident. While he worked with his church's youth during the day, Brown harbored the desire to rape, carve and cook the body parts of a young parishioner for Easter. As the Tampa Bay Times reported:
"I imagine him wiggling and then going still," Brown told an associate in an Internet chat session, describing his plot to kill and cannibalize a boy at Gulf Coast Church, according to the criminal complaint.

Brown went on in gruesome detail about the different ways he would kill and eat children with another alleged cannibal enthusiast, Michael Arnett, using online monikers that investigators traced to their computers. The two discussed killing--what they called "snuffing"--children as young as 2.

In one chat cited in the complaint, Arnett described drowning a little girl, and in another, he and Brown excitedly talked about a photo, shared by Arnett, of a 3-year-old girl being strangled.

"That's how I would enjoy doing" the unidentified boy from Gulf Coast Church, Brown said.

Brown was found to have over 200 pictures of children on his computer. Many of the children were tied up, gagged and blind-folded. He also solicited photos of dead children online, where he also had conversations about touching boys at a cruise ship pool, according to a report from the Orlando Sentinel.

Investigators said in 1998 they also found boys' underwear at Brown's home, and a blowup doll dressed in children's clothes. Brown said he used the items for puppet shows.

WTSP reported that although Brown told investigators he wanted to eat a little boy he met at his church and had discussed his fantasies on a Yahoo message board, he never intended to actually harm children.

Along with being sentenced to 20 years in prison, Brown will have a lifetime of probation. He will also have to register as a sex offender, is prohibited from having contact with minors and banned from having access to a computer with online service.

just shoot the sick fucker in the head now

[Stanley Nickels]

http://www.cfnews13.com/content/news/cfnews13/news/article.html/content/news/articles/cfn/2013/8/8/st_cloud_couple_accu.html#.UgT2Qyotmeo.facebook

St. Cloud couple accused of burning daughter, 6, as punishment

A six-year-old girl is recovering from severe burns after her mother and boyfriend admit to pouring boiling hot water on the girl, as a form of punishment.

The mother worked at a daycare.

Investigators said the incident happened at a St. Cloud home earlier this week.

The mother, Yadzia Ivelisse Morales, would not answer any questions as she was escorted to jail, but her boyfriend, Roberto Junior Lopez, did answer some questions.

“I do feel bad about it,” said Lopez.

Police said Morales microwaved a bowl of water until it was boiling. Then she and her boyfriend both confess to pouring that boiling hot water over the mother’s six-year-old daughter to punish her.

“My understanding is that the child was crying and misbehaving, and just wouldn’t stop crying, so this was their way of correcting that behavior,” said St. Cloud Police Sergeant Denise Roberts.

Investigators said it was Roberto Lopez’s mother who noticed the burns while babysitting and notified police.

Despite his confession, Lopez denies actually pouring the water over the girl.

“I was not inside the bathroom. That’s all I’m gonna say,” said Lopez.

Investigators said the girl was burned on her neck, face and back. The six-year-old is continuing to recover at Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital in Orlando with second and third degree burns over 30 percent of her body.

According to police, Morales works at The Shepherd's Little Family Child Care Center in St Cloud. We reached out to the daycare for a comment and we are waiting to hear back.

Police said this is not the first time the couple has punished the girl in this manner. They said just a week ago, they made the girl stand in a shower under extremely hot water.

“It’s extremely horrific, it’s hard for our officers to deal with, it’s hard for the community to hear. Unfortunately they do happen,” said Sgt. Roberts.

The couple faces several child abuse charges and they are locked up in the Osceola County jail without bond.

The Department of Children and Families is also investigating this case. The child has been placed into protective custody DCF is looking into other family members as possible custodians after the child is released from the hospital.

[Stanley Nickels]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/08/derek-medina-facebook_n_3728077.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Derek Medina Posts Photo Of Wife's Body, Murder Confession To Facebook (PHOTO) (UPDATED)

A horrifying crime scene in South Miami hit Facebook Thursday when a man posted a photo of his dead wife -- and a confession that he had killed her.

Derek Medina posted the photo some time around noon Thursday, with the words "Rip Jennifer Alfonso." The image shows his wife's leggings-clad body slumped backwards on the floor in what appears to be the couple's kitchen. Her face and left arm are covered in blood.

"You will see me in the news," reads a confessional status update posted minutes before the photo:

Im going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife love you guys miss you guys takecare Facebook people you will see me in the news" my wife was punching me and I am not going to stand anymore with the abuse so I did what I did I hope u understand me "
According to an arrest affidavit by Miami-Dade Police, Medina told investigators he and Alfonso had a verbal dispute around 10:00 a.m., during which he grabbed a gun from a closet and pointed it at his wife. She reportedly told Medina she was leaving him before the dispute moved downstairs.

There, Medina told police, Alfonso began punching him. He retrieved the gun from upstairs and again confronted his wife, prompting her to pick up a knife. He told detectives that when he took the knife away, his wife began hitting him again, at which point he shot her several times.

After first changing his clothes and making contact with relatives, according to investigators, Medina drove to the South Miami Police Department and turned himself in.

When officers responded to the home, they found Alfonso dead from apparent gunshot wounds.

They also found her 10-year-old daughter upstairs, physically unharmed. She was removed from the house covered in a blanket, according to WSVN.

Miami New Times reports Medina has authored a number of self-help e-books, including one titled "How I Saved Someone's Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication."

A neighbor told NBC6 that Medina "walks around with a concealed gun, so he tries to be the neighborhood watchguy."

"He's always there late night and he's weird to me," said Yoshi Dade. "He's always kind of looking around and trying to be a hero."

Medina's father told WSVN that the couple had a troubled relationship, and had remarried last year after previously getting a divorce.

Incredibly, Medina's grisly posts remained published on Facebook until just before 5 p.m. Thursday, when they appeared to have been removed.

"The content was reported to us," a Facebook spokeswoman told The Associated Press. "We took action on the profile -- removing the content and disabling the profile, and we reached out to law enforcement. We take action on all content that violates our terms, which are clearly laid out on our site."

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1289508/thumbs/o-DEREK-MEDINA-FACEBOOK-570.jpg?5

[Tombstone RJ]

The fast food was not fast enough.

An argument over who was first in line at a McDonald's drive-thru ended with a man stabbed in the butt and a woman on her way to jail.

The commotion began when Rebecca Simmons, 45, reportedly attempted to cut ahead of Mohammad Abukhder, 35, as they were starting their Wednesday morning with a McDonald's breakfast in Riverview, Fla., WTSP reports.

Abukhder complained, causing Simmons to exit her car holding a small knife and puncture the hood of Abukhder's 2000 Honda Civic, according to ABC Action News. Then, as Abukhder tried to grab Simmons' keys so she could not leave, she allegedly stabbed him in the right buttocks.

Abukhder suffered a small puncture and did not require medical attention.

Simmons was arrested and brought to the Orient Road Jail on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage, according to the Tampa Tribune.

When a woman stabs your car in the hood, you should just let her cut in front of you. Just a suggestion there Abukhder.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/oekfqu7

Thanks for the mammaries . . . but no thanks.

Ronda Beckman was arrested in Florida after allegedly taking off her shirt at a bar, exposing her breasts and howling, "It's titty time!"

Beckman bared all at Captain Jax Sandbar and Grill in Fort Pierce on Aug. 2 and refused to put her clothes back on, prompting a call to police, according to TC Palm.

A bar manager told the site that Beckman was on the dance floor when police arrived. She's accused of calling an officer "a piece of sh-t and an asshole." She was charged with indecent exposure, lewd lascivious behavior and disorderly intoxication.

The bare-breasted ballyhoo didn't stop there.

In the back of a patrol car, according to an arrest affidavit, Beckman was kicking and screaming. She's quoted by police as saying, again, "It's titty time, I'll take everything off. I am getting arrested for indecent exposure! I'll give you something to look at baby! I'll take everything off! Oh yes baby I'll take it all off OK."

Beckman, who's listed as homeless, also allegedly called the cop a "f--king whore," Barstool Sports reports.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/mjcpwj7

She didn't get to taste the ocean, but she got a taste of life behind bars.

Leyla Denise Aykin is accused of driving under the influence after an officer pulled her over in Florida while her arm and foot were out the window last week. When the 27-year-old Orlando woman was asked where she was going, she allegedly told the arresting officer that she was off to "to taste the ocean." But that's not the only thing she had a craving for.

"[She] wanted to taste me and gaze through me," the arresting officer wrote in his report, according to the Sun Sentinel.

The bizarre encounter began last Thursday when a Florida Highway Patrol trooper spotted Aykin's Ford Focus doing 87 mph in a 70 mph zone. Aykin allegedly slowed to 27 mph -- her extremities still hanging out the window -- and let go of a scarf onto the highway.

She was pulled over and exited her car, "appearing high" with a "lights on but nobody home" look on her face, the trooper told the site. She reportedly outstretched her arms before she knelt on the road and said a Muslim prayer, according to the Sun Sentinel.

When asked if she wanted the officer to contact someone on her behalf, she reportedly replied, "Jesus."

Her blood-alcohol level was normal, but a drug recognition expert deemed her to be high on something, according to Barstool Sports.

Aykin was booked on a DUI charge.

Her Facebook page features similarly incoherent rants:
Has determined, based on personal experience and extensive research, framed with the mindset of the Teachings of, myriad Teachers which abound and needn't herein be named, regarding living with Heart, Heaaarrrrt, really living, fearlessly living with all the shit and piss and pain and muckh and love and beauty and glory and tears and come and snot and earthy gritty grainy brow glisteningness, like totally as seen on TeeVee, the moment by moment prayer dance sacrifice of all thisness, like the perfect pounce dancing of a fox hop-hunting in the snow I've never quite firsthand seen but would so endlessly dream, all of this astonishingly wreathed by a host of gentle trees, that bipolar (or "by winning") people are innate warriors. There are reasons for warrior classes, biological reasons. Just ask, I demand.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/kqzlg8r

A naked man with one leg died Monday after he tried to break into several homes by throwing objects into windows.

Norbert Chabannes, 55, who has a history of cocaine-related arrests, was seen in his neighborhood of Perdido Key, Fla. at about 5 p.m. crawling across a yard, according to the Pensacola News Journal. He reportedly cut his arm while attempting to break into his next-door neighbor's home. When he was unsuccessful, he crawled across the street to another woman's house and tried to throw a brick through the window.

That's when a sheriff's deputy arrived. When the officer tried to calm Chabannes down, he collapsed. He was pronounced dead at the scene after resuscitation attempts, WBPF reports.

A cause of death has not yet been released, but authorities are investigating "because Chabannes died while involved in a confrontation with a deputy," according to the station.

Chabannes had been arrested at least five times since 2010, according to the Escambia County Sheriff's Office website. Most of the arrests involved cocaine and drug paraphernalia possession, some of them while driving.
Neighbors told the News Journal that Chabannes' strange actions weren't surprising to them. Officers frequented the man's home.

"To me, it’s just all been a matter of time," said Irma Teal, whose house Chabannes tried to break into on Monday. "I’ve always worried because of [my mom’s] age and I have a paraplegic brother in the house as well. That’s always been our concern the last seven years."

[scho63]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/23/stevie-glasspool-teacher_n_3806175.html

Four days into the new school year and a South Florida teacher has already been arrested for inappropriate behavior.

Stevie Glasspool, 31, of Boca Raton, Fla., allegedly solicited sex from teens students enrolled at her former place of employment, Mavericks Charter High School in Pompano Beach.

Police say Glasspool invited the four teens, ages 15 to 17, to a sleepover at her Boca Raton, enticing them with offers of marijuana.

Her invitation was "overt" in sexual nature, according to police. They say she wrote: “I don’t want you to fall in love with me but I also don’t want you to hit it and quit it either.”

Glasspool was fired from her teaching job at Mavericks back in May 2012, according to a release from the Broward Sheriff's Office.

She most recently worked at Hollywood Academy of Arts & Science for the current school year.

Glasspool has been charged with soliciting a child for unlawful sexual conduct using computer services or devices. Her bond is set at $25,000.

Detectives believe there could be more victims. Anyone with information on this case is asked to contact BSO Detective Ann Suter at 954-321-4689 or Broward Crime Stoppers, anonymously, at 954-493- 8477 or online.

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1316088/thumbs/s-STEVIE-GLASSPOOL-large.jpg?6

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/k5mjsdt

A Florida man is suspected of threatening to kill his wife during an argument over who would change the cat litter.

Avelino Urbano Garon, 59, was arrested on Aug. 18 and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Police say the couple were arguing over whose responsibility it was to freshen up the kitty litter, when Garon allegedly threatened to throw their cat against the wall. Then he picked up a knife and threatened to kill his wife, WESH reports.

When deputies arrived, Garon argued that it was his wife's responsibility to clean the litter box. They arrested him on the spot.

He was released this week on a $1,000 bond, the Associated Press reports.

[Planetman]

Ain't that the shits

[gblowfish]

Florida news has been especially squirrely lately....

http://tinyurl.com/kbv5yco

A man in Vero Beach, Fla., has been accused of assaulting his neighbor for a reason that sounds nutty: The victim kept feeding the neighborhood squirrels.

Eugene Oates, 57, was arrested Saturday for battery after he allegedly tried to force his neighbor, Ernest Willette, out of his home.

Oates was angry because Willette kept feeding peanuts to the squirrels. The shells apparently ended up on Oates' lawn and driveway, WPBF.com reported.

At point during the squirrelly skirmish, "Oates allegedly grabbed Willette's arm and tried to pull him outside," TCPalm.com reported. "The squirrels could not immediately be reached."

Willette told the responding officers that he grabbed the door frame to prevent Oates from pulling him outside. They noticed two scratches on the victim,, VeroNews.com reported.

Oates was arrested and booked, and was later released from the Indian River County jail on a $500 bond.

[Rain Man]

just shoot the sick ****er in the head now


You're focusing too much on his desire to rape and cannibalize, and not enough on his volunteer work in the church. You have to take the whole picture into account.

[gblowfish]

This isn't your typical meat spin.
http://tinyurl.com/lekaktm

John Earl Eutzy, 37, is accused of taking himself for a spin outside a convenience store in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., the North West Florida Daily News reported. And no, it was not a Kum & Go.

Police say Eutzy was standing outside the store Tuesday when he unzipped his pants and began masturbating. When he started, he was facing the store, but then rotated his body so that he was facing the road, then turned back towards the store. According to the NWF Daily News, Eutzy "changed his position several times."

Deputies also noted that a witness had to escort a woman and frightened child to their car.

Eutzy, who authorities say was intoxicated, was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition.

Apparently convenience stores are especially convenient for picking up a public masturbation charge. In February, police said a man caught masturbating outside of a Pennsylvania convenience store told them his penis was only out because his pants had shrunk.

An even more convenient place to get arrested for public masturbation is right at the police office. Darrell Moore allegedly demonstrated this in July, when Omaha cops say he waltzed into police headquarters, claimed he witnessed a murder, then promptly began masturbating.

[Halfcan]

http://tinyurl.com/k5mjsdt

A Florida man is suspected of threatening to kill his wife during an argument over who would change the cat litter.

Avelino Urbano Garon, 59, was arrested on Aug. 18 and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal.

Police say the couple were arguing over whose responsibility it was to freshen up the kitty litter, when Garon allegedly threatened to throw their cat against the wall. Then he picked up a knife and threatened to kill his wife, WESH reports.

When deputies arrived, Garon argued that it was his wife's responsibility to clean the litter box. They arrested him on the spot.

He was released this week on a $1,000 bond, the Associated Press reports.

LMAO This story stinks to high heaven...

[Halfcan]

You're focusing too much on his desire to rape and cannibalize, and not enough on his volunteer work in the church. You have to take the whole picture into account.

LMAO yep my bad- I am soo judgemental sometimes.. I really need to work on that.

[gblowfish]

Hey, I'm just standin' my ground here.... BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!

http://tinyurl.com/kgqhu65

Attorneys for a man who police said shot three people at the culmination of a neighborhood feud have filed a motion demanding a jury determine whether William T. Woodward’s murder charges should be dismissed under Florida’s Stand Your Ground law.

The motion says Woodward had been the target of a variety of threats and “exercised his right under Florida law to defend himself and his family that night.”

“It’s probably best that you don’t make threats against people, they may take you seriously,” said Robert Berry, an attorney representing Woodward.
Officials say Woodward snuck up on a Labor Day barbecue and opened fire at about 12:30 a.m. on Sept. 3, 2012.

Police arrived and found Gary Lee Hembree, Roger Picior and Bruce Timothy Blake all had been shot. Hembree and Picior died of their injuries. Blake, who was hit 11 times, survived.

Woodward, 44, is accused of two counts of first-degree felony murder and attempted first-degree felony murder.

Before the incident, police had responded numerous times to the ongoing dispute, according to a release. Woodward and Hembree went to court to discuss the dispute before Judge John D. Moxley. Moxley did not issue an injunction.

The motion filed by Woodward’s attorneys says in the hours prior to the shooting, all three men were yelling at Woodward and that this type of behavior had been ongoing for over a month.

In the hours before the shooting, the men called him names, and said “Come on boys. We’re going to get him. We’re going to get him, all three of us.”

Florida law allows people to use deadly force to protect against “imminent death or…prevent the imminent commission of a forcible felony.”
So what is “imminent”?

Assistant State Attorney Wayne Holmes explained that imminence in a Stand Your Ground case would be determined based on the facts and circumstances of the case – there isn’t a concrete legal definition.

“As with many things in not only the law, but life in general, you’ve got to have a certain amount of flexibility,” he said, later adding: “There’s a certain amount of ability to take the facts, whatever they may be and apply it to that law. Sometimes it fits perfectly; sometimes it doesn’t fit at all.”

[gblowfish]

Baywatch has never been so creepy.

Sheriff's deputies say Frederick Shulte was caught pleasuring himself while watching teen girls shower at Jensen Public Beach in Florida on Saturday -- and he would have done worse, had he not been arrested.

The 66-year-old Jensen Beach man allegedly confessed to the crime, telling Martin County sheriff's deputies that he's "capable of a lot more" than just looking, according to the Sun Sentinel. He also reportedly told authorities that he knew what he did was wrong, but he'd do it again.

"It's very chilling when we arrest somebody for a lewd act involving a child," Sheriff William Snyder told WPBF.

A report obtained by the station stated that Schulte was intoxicated. It also indicated that he has a prosthetic penis, though Schulte later told reporters that he had a sex toy in his pants.

"I'm a deviant," he said, according to Yahoo News. "What they found in my pants was a dildo. I just like to have a big bulge."

He was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition and disorderly conduct.

[kepp]

Baywatch has never been so creepy.

Sheriff's deputies say Frederick Shulte was caught pleasuring himself while watching teen girls shower at Jensen Public Beach in Florida on Saturday -- and he would have done worse, had he not been arrested.

The 66-year-old Jensen Beach man allegedly confessed to the crime, telling Martin County sheriff's deputies that he's "capable of a lot more" than just looking, according to the Sun Sentinel. He also reportedly told authorities that he knew what he did was wrong, but he'd do it again.

"It's very chilling when we arrest somebody for a lewd act involving a child," Sheriff William Snyder told WPBF.

A report obtained by the station stated that Schulte was intoxicated. It also indicated that he has a prosthetic penis, though Schulte later told reporters that he had a sex toy in his pants.

"I'm a deviant," he said, according to Yahoo News. "What they found in my pants was a dildo. I just like to have a big bulge."

He was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition and disorderly conduct.

This seems like a proper place for this pic:
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/you-put-that-so-good-24.jpg

[scho63]

I thought they were already there and living quite well in some of the condos.

http://news.yahoo.com/herpes-infected-monkeys-invade-florida-153637867.html

If any state in the union best represents the dangers of invasive species, it's Florida. The Sunshine State is home to what's been a raging Burmese python invasion for some decades. And its Cuban tree frog problem isn't doing the eco-system any favors either.

But now the state has a new issue: wild monkeys—with herpes.

There are about 1,000 feral Rhesus monkeys living in Florida right now. The majority of those scooped up by wildlife officials over the years have tested positive for the Herpes B virus, and this week, the entire colony was declared a public health hazard.

A small handful of the wild animals originally landed in the state in the 1930s, courtesy of "Colonel" Tooey, a tour operator who wanted to give visitors a Tarzan-inspired experience of Florida's Silver River State Park.

Tooey kept the monkeys sequestered on an island, but they've since taught themselves how to swim, easily reaching the mainland and putting down roots as far as Jacksonville, which is hundreds of miles away.

Herpes B doesn't cause serious symptoms in these particular animals, but in humans, it can lead to neurological impairment or fatal encephalomyelitis, an inflammation of the brain and spinal cord.

Florida's Rhesus monkeys are known to act aggressively towards people, and the state's Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, concerned the animals could spread their disease or cause other injuries, are warning tourists and natives to be aware and keep their distance.

[Rain Man]

So remember. If you're planning a trip to Florida to have sex with rhesus monkeys, use protection.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/lmtzxl9

CLEARWATER, Fla. — A Florida woman who appeared on several national television programs as a teen because of her uncontrollable hiccupping went on trial on a murder charge on Tuesday.

After a day of questioning dozens of people, prosecutors and attorneys for Jennifer Mee selected a jury of 12, plus four alternates. Pinellas County Judge Nancy Moate Ley told potential jurors that the trial would probably wrap up by the end of the week, and opening statements are scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Mee, who is 22, suffered from prolonged hiccups of up to 50 a minute in 2007. Videos of her hiccupping gained her national attention, as did her attempts to quell the problem. She tried home remedies and consulted medical specialists, a hypnotist and an acupuncturist, until the hiccups finally stopped on their own. She appeared on several TV shows and while on the "Today" show, was hugged by fellow guest and country music star Keith Urban.

Her 2010 arrest was her first.

The 22-year-old Mee is charged with first-degree murder in the death of Shannon Griffin, a 22-year-old Wal-Mart worker. Prosecutors say Mee lured Griffin to a St. Petersburg home under the pretense of buying marijuana – but instead, two of Mee's friends robbed him at gunpoint. Griffin struggled with the suspects and was shot several times.

Detectives said Mee accepted a friend request from Griffin on a social networking website five or six days before the robbery, but it was unclear if Griffin had recognized her as the "hiccup girl."

Mee's co-defendant, LaRon Raiford, was convicted and sentenced to life in prison in August. Lamont Newton, the other co-defendant who was also Mee's boyfriend at the time of the crime, has not yet gone to trial.

At issue is whether Mee is a bystander or the person who planned the robbery – prosecutors say she played an active role in planning the robbery, which led to Griffin's death. Under Florida law, people can be convicted of murder if they commit a serious felony crime – such as robbery – and someone was killed as a result.

John Trevena, Mee's attorney, said his client suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, a neurological disorder that can cause involuntary movements and speech problems. He said that the hiccups were one symptom of Tourette's and that he will mention that during the trial.

"It won't be used as a direct cause for what occurred but it might help explain her errors in judgment and her often thoughtless response to law enforcement," said Trevena, who said that Mee did not participate in the robbery.

He added that his client has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that he plans to explain that to the jury as well.

Trevena said Mee has been in jail pending trial since her October 2010 arrest – much of that time in isolation because detention deputies say she is a high profile inmate.

Mee has experienced periodic bouts of hiccups while in jail, said Trevena, and she is being treated with a drug called thorazine, which treats psychotic disorders.

"It controls the hiccups," he said.

Mee wore a teal dress and her long, dark hair loose during the first day of the trial. She looked sadly at the potential jurors when the charge against her was read by the judge.

Mee is not facing the death penalty. If convicted, she will face life in prison without the possibility of parole.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/qftptdf

If three's a trend, then Floridians really really like to leave their children alone while they party at the strip club.

Meet 25-year-old Jordan Caraway, our most recent alleged pole addict. The DeLand man is accused of leaving a 3-year-old child alone in his pickup truck at 1 a.m. Sunday, while he boozed inside Dixie's Gentlemen's Club.

Witnesses say he was inside for 30 minutes before an employee spotted the child and called sheriff's deputies. Caraway claimed he left another guy to watch the child, but the babysitter also apparently got wooed by Dixie's dancers, according to the Orlando Sentinel. He was reportedly inside the strip club too.

Caraway was arrested and taken to Volusia County Branch Jail, but he's just a drop in the alleged bad dad bucket:


There's Kenneth Rowe, 26, who was reportedly wasted when he walked into a Daytona Beach liquor store and asked the clerk to watch his baby boy. Then he allegedly went next door to the Shark Lounge for a lap dance or two.

Elluit Gonzalez, a 38-year-old from Orlando, is accused of leaving his sleeping 7-year-old daughter inside a car while he visited the Diamond Club, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Former NFLer Monty Ray Grow allegedly left his 3-year-old daughter in the car, unattended, while he partied at Diamond Dolls in Clearwater. He was arrested on a child abuse charge. The child was uninjured.

Strippers do it too! Brittany Roman, 21, allegedly left her little boy to walk around their hotel lobby while she danced at the Diamond Club in Orlando, the Sun Sentinel reports.

Edith Aguilar-Cardona and Israel Rangel-Ortiz, both 25, left their kid in the car for about an hour while they opened Pandora's Box -- the strip joint -- in Palmetto, WTSP reports.

Brandi Roman (no known relation to Brittany Roman) allegedly left two children under the age of 6 in her truck, as well as a can of malt liquor, while she watched strippers in Tampa.

Edward Condry Jr., of Fort Myers, is accused of leaving his toddler alone in the car while hanging out at a strip club in Tampa. At about 2 a.m., a manager at the club heard crying coming from Condry's car. It was Condry's 1-year-old.

[BigMeatballDave]

That's hardly Florida news.

There are shitty parents all over the world.

[gblowfish]

Who says the French don't know how to attack?

http://tinyurl.com/lwn2g6k

A woman who hosted a French exchange student ten years ago and recently let him move back in was allegedly attacked by the man.

Police said Pierre Franchi, 29, attacked 66-year-old Sue Ann Montfort in the early Friday morning because demons were after her, the Palm Beach Post reported.

In an attack that lasted for nearly 10 hours, Franchi allegedly shouted “demons are coming after you,” as he repeatedly choked and assaulted Montfort.

Using cords from the blinds in her bedroom, Franchi allegedly choked her before grabbing a pillow , attempting to smother her. He then hit her over the head with a hand-held mirror, a police report obtained by the Sun Sentinel said.

"I have to protect you," Franchi told her, according to the report. "I have to kill the demons."

Montfort had a "motherly affection" for Franchi, the report said.

After his exchange program ended, the two stayed in touch. Earlier this year, Franchi moved in with Montfort after living in California. According to his Facebook page, Franchi was born in Marseille, France.

Franchi allegedly broke Montfort's cellphone at the time of the attack, afraid she would call for help. Fighting off the man, Montfort fell to the floor, where Franchi ordered her to bow to him, police said.

Montfort escaped to the bathroom where she stayed for hours. When she attempted to yell for help through a window, Franchi blared music to drown her out, the report said.

Franchi eventually left, allegedly stealing the woman's car and purse before being apprehended by police.

Montfort told Boynton Beach officers that his behavior may have been triggered by a fight earlier in the night. Montfort confronted Franchi over a wet towel over a chair which prompted an hour-long argument before she went to bed. Three hours later, he allegedly attacked her.

The woman told police Franchi is often prone to rants, spurts of unprompted laughter and excessive chatter.

Franchi is currently being held at the Palm Beach County Jail. He faces charges including aggravated battery on a person over 65, false imprisonment, grand theft and depriving use of 911. Late Monday, he remained behind bars in lieu of $30,000 bail, jail records show.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/kdfph2s

A Florida woman is accused of stabbing her boyfriend in the eye because he refused a horizontal dance with her.

The victim told police that La Crystal King-Woolfork, 28, of Vero Beach, came home drunk on Sept. 26 wanting sex, according to TC Palm.

She was with another unidentified woman at the time. The two women "started performing oral sex on one another while [the victim] watched," according to an arrest affidavit. Still, King-Woolfork's boyfriend did not want sex.

When he refused intercourse several times, King-Woolfork allegedly grabbed a knife and attacked him. She stabbed him in the eye and the shoulder, but he was able to disarm her and call another person for a ride to the hospital.

Now King-Woolfork faces attempted murder charges, even though she contended in court that she only attacked the victim with a metal candle holder, according to Vero News. She said her boyfriend punched her in the nose after she hit him with the candle holder.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/qjldotk

A Florida man who jumped off a moving train Monday night because he left his cellphone on a station bench is recovering from a serious head injury, police report.

Police say Eddie Diaz, 26, of Miami, reportedly pulled the emergency stop cord on the train when he realized what he had left at the West Palm Beach station.

As he jumped out of the train's front passenger door, he slipped and landed on the southbound platform, injuring his head.

At least one fellow passenger came to his aid.

"It looked like he was going into shock. It was just the back of the head and his nose was bleeding," the passenger who works in sports medicine told WPTV. "He was not able to talk but I asked him if he was able to blink or move his mouth and he was able to move his mouth for me."

"It's just what happens when you ride the Tri-Rail," another of the 50 passengers, who were delayed two hours because of the incident, told WPBF.
Diaz is in critical condition

[Ace Gunner]

how can a man refuse a horizontal dance. threesome no less.

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/n869h6v

MIDDLEBURG, Fla. -- MIDDLEBURG, Fla. (AP) — A 70-year-old Florida woman was arrested after soliciting an undercover detective to kill her daughter-in-law, authorities said.

Diana Reaves Costarakis, of Middleburg, was being held without bond in the Duval County Jail on Saturday on charges of criminal solicitation and criminal conspiracy, both capital felony crimes, jail records show. She was scheduled to appear in court on Oct. 31. The records did not list any attorney for her.

According to a police report from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, Costarakis offered an undercover detective $5,000 on Wednesday when they first met at a Home Depot. She gave him $500 as the first payment as well as a photo of the daughter-in-law, her address, and a description of her car, the report said. Costarakis gave the detective another $1,000 on Thursday and told him her daughter-in-law wore diamonds and other expensive jewelry that could be stolen and sold, with the proceeds being used toward the final payment. The diamonds could not be traced, she told the detective, according to the report.

When asked if Costarakis wanted her daughter-in-law dead, she said, "If you don't, I will," according to the police report.

She was later taken into custody.

Costarakis told police that her daughter-in-law was a drunk and a bad mother to her 6-year-old granddaughter, the police report said.

Angela Costarakis told WJXT TV (http://bit.ly/19tr3XK) on Friday that she did not know why her mother-in-law would be so angry with her.

"I am beyond sad and it breaks my heart because it messes up the family," she said. "I have compassion. I don't want to see anyone spend the rest of their life in jail. However, I am still just dealing with it. I just found out. I have not wrapped my head around it."

The police report said Diana Costarakis claimed her daughter-in-law was leaving her son and moving to Denver with her granddaughter. Angela Costarakis told WJXT that wasn't true.

[gblowfish]

A Florida man accused of pushing his pregnant girlfriend on the ground reportedly began wildly rambling about Obama following his arrest.

http://tinyurl.com/m6fqv4s

John Henry Shiffner, 18, was arrested Saturday evening in the town of Century, according to an Escambia County Sheriff's report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Shiffner's 30-year-old girlfriend said he was agitated because of a recent death in the family, and when she tried to calm him down, he pushed her on the ground hard enough that she landed on her back.

The woman is two and a half months pregnant, which she said Shiffner knew.
The arresting deputy wrote in the report that Shiffner "began rambling on about how Obama is right." Shiffner then allegedly stated, "Obama said cops always listen to women."

Some light Googling indicates that Obama has probably never said this.
The deputy also notes that Shiffner smelled strongly of alcohol and his mother said he was drinking earlier that day, but Shiffner denied consuming any alcoholic beverage.

He was charged with aggravated battery and disorderly intoxication.

People say a lot of things after getting arrested. In 2011, an Illinois teen blamed her alleged drunk driving -- and subsequent crash -- on not getting to see the new Twilight movie.

And in 2012, a Florida woman told police she failed a sobriety test because her "big boobies" threw off her balance. Police say that when they asked her to walk in a straight line, she started dancing.

[scho63]

Woman accused of child abuse; gave Adderall to son, 6, as experiment

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/palm-beach/boca-raton/fl-boca-adderall-child-abuse-20131101,0,6964945.story

A West Boca woman is facing a child abuse charge after deputies say she emailed her 6-year-old's teacher to say she'd given the boy Adderall as an experiment, and asked for updates on any behavior changes.

Adderall is a drug often used to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or A.D.H.D., which is characterized by hyperactivity and difficulty paying attention. The medication requires a prescription.

"I tried something today," 39-year-old Heather McAuliffe wrote to the teacher early Wednesday, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office arrest report. "I gave [my son] 5 milligrams of my Adderall just to see if there is a noticeable difference. He does not know because I crushed it up in his yogurt."

She continued her message by asking the teacher, whose name was not included in the report, to email her later with information on any changes in the child, and ended with a thank you. The boy is in first grade at an undisclosed school.

On Thursday, investigators spoke with McAuliffe, who lives in the 22000 block of Palms Way west of Boca Raton. She told them she gave her son the Adderall in hopes of helping him. She was arrested and booked into the Palm Beach County Jail.

Deputies wrote in McAuliffe's arrest report that her decision to give her 6-year-old son a controlled drug without a prescription could have caused him physical injury, violating state child abuse laws.

She was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and released hours later on $3,000 bail, jail records show. McAuliffe declined to comment when reached by phone Friday.


Palm Beach County School District spokesman Owen Torres said teachers are required by state law to report any indication of child abuse. The boy's teacher "did the right thing" by putting the matter in authorities' hands, he said.

"I don't know what the circumstances are, but if the kid was not prescribed this, obviously the teacher had a right to notify proper authorities to do an investigation," Torres said.

http://www.trbimg.com/img-52742f9d/turbine/sfl-heather-mcauliffe-20131101/525/393x525

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/k3tlbpn

Just when you thought the DMV couldn't get any worse.
Edward Michael Alvin, 34, was arrested last week after an off-duty cop caught the man allegedly masturbating at the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles office in West Palm Beach, Fla.

The Sun-Sentinel reported that Alvin began masturbating in the lobby of the DMV on Friday.

An off-duty officer told Alvin to stop, but the suspect ignored him and was placed under arrest. He was charged with indecent exposure, and released later that evening.

In July, Alvin was arrested after allegedly stealing his former boss' car, then crashing it while intoxicated, according to court records.

Public masturbation might be how some people get off, but that doesn't get them off the hook with police.

Kevin Bishop, a 44-year-old man with 64 arrests already on his record, was allegedly caught masturbating on a New York subway in 2009. He was charged with public lewdness, but pleaded not guilty. Bishop told police that his "private parts fell out."
"I looked down and it was out," Bishop said. "It just popped out! I was trying to put it back."

In September, Nathan Harrington allegedly gave his mailman a different kind of package when he was caught masturbating outside his home in front of the witness. He was charged with indecent conduct.

The mailman said this was the second time he had caught Harrington masturbating.

[gblowfish]

Let's hope those orange jumpsuits have a lot of breathing room.

William Gibson, 50, allegedly exposed himself outside a Goodwill store in Jensen Beach, Fla., earlier this month, then claimed he was "airing out" his penis, T.C. Palm reported Friday.

Gibson allegedly first stuck his hand down his pants and smelled his fingers before dropping his drawers. Then, according to a witness statement obtained by T.C. Palm, "All of a sudden [Gibson] just pulled down the front of his underwear to expose his genitals, fluffing them."

A witness called sheriff's deputies, who say Gibson stated he was arrested merely for "airing out" his penis.

He was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition in the presence of the elderly.

This isn't the most outlandish excuse alleged flashers have given. In February, police officers said a man caught masturbating behind a convenience store told them he was only exposed because his pants had shrunk.

And last year, a man accused of masturbating in public decided to prove he was really just scratching a rash by whipping out his testicles to show the rash to cops. The craziest thing about this excuse was that it actually worked!

[ChiefsCountry]

http://fox4kc.com/2013/11/18/man-suspected-of-killing-roommate-with-drug-laced-milkshake/

[gblowfish]

http://tinyurl.com/l29y8m5

A Florida woman is accused of stalking a duck before intentionally running it over with her car.

Karen Lindgren, 36, is charged with felony animal cruelty, Bay News 9 reports. A witness told police in Tarpon Springs that Lindren initially tried to give the duck candy. The duck wasn't interested, and Lindgren began following the bird around before eventually running it over in the driveway of homeowner Natalie Paraskevopoulos, who called police after finding the animal.

Paraskevopoulos told Bay News 9 that the bird was part of a familiar group of neighborhood ducks. “We raised them practically, ‘cause we’ve known them since they were ducklings," she said. "So, it was just really devastating because you become attached to these animals, almost like they’re your pets."

It's been one "fowl" news month. Last week, a woman was arrested after she was allegedly caught on tape kicking geese in the head at a park. And earlier this week, it was announced that the Thanksgiving turkeys "pardoned" by Obama are not long for this world.

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

http://tinyurl.com/l29y8m5

A Florida woman is accused of stalking a duck before intentionally running it over with her car.

Karen Lindgren, 36, is charged with felony animal cruelty, Bay News 9 reports. A witness told police in Tarpon Springs that Lindren initially tried to give the duck candy. The duck wasn't interested, and Lindgren began following the bird around before eventually running it over in the driveway of homeowner Natalie Paraskevopoulos, who called police after finding the animal.

Paraskevopoulos told Bay News 9 that the bird was part of a familiar group of neighborhood ducks. “We raised them practically, ‘cause we’ve known them since they were ducklings," she said. "So, it was just really devastating because you become attached to these animals, almost like they’re your pets."

It's been one "fowl" news month. Last week, a woman was arrested after she was allegedly caught on tape kicking geese in the head at a park. And earlier this week, it was announced that the Thanksgiving turkeys "pardoned" by Obama are not long for this world.

:spock:

[Eleazar]

If any state in the union best represents the dangers of invasive species, it's Florida.

That's one way to put it.

[CrazyPhuD]

This week in FL sex ed! ROFL

http://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/dec/04/nymphomaniac-lars-von-trier-accidentally-children

Nymphomaniac trailer accidentally shown to Florida children
Cinema screens promo for Lars von Trier's explicit film before showing of Disney hit Frozen

Ben Child
theguardian.com, Wednesday 4 December 2013 04.33 EST

A cinema audience of children waiting to view the hit Disney animation Frozen were accidentally shown a trailer for explicit art house sex epic Nymphomaniac.

Parents in the auditorium in Tampa, Florida, reportedly struggled to cover the eyes of their offspring, while others headed swiftly for the exits, as an apparent technical error saw the promotional clip for Danish agent provocateur Lars von Trier's salacious new film suddenly hit the big screen.

"They put in the filler, it looked like Steamboat Willie, the old Mickey Mouse cartoon, and then all of a sudden it goes into this other scene," grandmother Lynn Greene told My Fox Tampa Bay. "It seemed like forever when you're trying to, you know, cover a little guy's eyes. I didn't have enough hands to cover his ears too and he got the sound down real good.

"You're talking, what, a PG-rated movie to all of a sudden have an R-rated scene up there for little children?" she added. "My concern is that there should be safeguards in place so that this doesn't happen again."

The trailer has been described by Vanity Fair as one of the most explicit ever to be shown in mainstream cinemas. A teaser trailer was briefly removed from YouTube last month after apparently falling foul of the site's rules on nudity and sexual content. Von Trier's much-hyped film, which features Uma Thurman, Stellan Skarsgård, Christian Slater, Jamie Bell and Shia LaBeouf, will use digital trickery and body doubles to portray its famous stars having sex. It is due to premiere in Copenhagen on Christmas Day and is then likely to hit the festival circuit, with a possible appearance at Cannes in May.

[MahiMike]

In the 80's and sunny here sucks. Sure hate cutting grass and playing golf in December. Might have to go for a swim at the beach instead...

[Tombstone RJ]

In the 80's and sunny here sucks. Sure hate cutting grass and playing golf in December. Might have to go for a swim at the beach instead...

be sure in do all of the above naked. if you live in FL you are bat shit crazy.

[MahiMike]

be sure in do all of the above naked. if you live in FL you are bat shit crazy.

And if you live in the land of sleet and snow you are _____________?

[BlackHelicopters]

Snowing here again. Winter has not officially started. I am not happy

[BigMeatballDave]

be sure in do all of the above naked. if you live in FL you are bat shit crazy.

Shocking. A donkey fan posts something stupid.

Fuck this snow and cold. Cannot wait to get back to the warmth.

[BigMeatballDave]

:)

[BigRedChief]

In the 80's and sunny here sucks. Sure hate cutting grass and playing golf in December. Might have to go for a swim at the beach instead...Fuck that, I pay someone to mow the yard.;)

[beach tribe]

That's one way to put it.

Lol.

I see what you did there.

[Phobia]

What is wrong with this idiot?

http://www.today.com/news/swimming-champ-9-gives-trophy-hospitalized-rival-2D11745905
Before his swim meet on Dec. 7 had even started, Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, decided he was not only going to compete in honor of his biggest rival, but also win the top trophy in the event and give it to him.

The Santa Claus Invitational marked the second straight meet where Zuchowski and his father checked the entry sheet and did not see the name of friendly rival Reese Branzell, 10, from Lake Lytle, Fla. Branzell had been hospitalized on Nov. 8 with a bacterial infection in his hip for nearly two weeks and was unable to compete.

http://media3.s-nbcnews.com/j/streams/2013/December/131216/2D9987869-today-swimmer-131213-01.blocks_desktop_medium.jpgFlorida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
“Josh got very emotional and he just said, 'Dad I feel horrible for him, is there something we can do?'’’ Josh’s father, Jonathan Zuchowski, told TODAY.com. “Then he said, 'I expect to win five gold medals in this meet, so what do you think if I swim for him and if I win the high point trophy, I'll give it to him?'

“He wrote the card he was going to give Reese before he even swam the race. The card said, 'I swam for you today, and I want to give you this trophy.’’’

Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Josh, who is from Jupiter, Fla., accomplished his goal of winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter in the meet.

When it was over, he gave the trophy to Reese’s swim coach with a card that read, "I am so sorry that you have not been feeling well. Get well soon. So we can get back to battling in the pool. I have looked up to you since I was seven. You were an inspiration for me wanting to swim fast. I would rather get second with you at the meet then win with you absent. I won this trophy for you today. I hope to see (you) back in the pool. Your friend, Josh.’’

The two have been swimming against one another for three years and often rank 1-2 at the meets where 9- and 10-year-olds compete in the same races. Reese has since been released from the hospital and has been on antibiotics for the infection. His family was blown away by the gesture.

“They said it was the single nicest act that anyone has ever done for him and his family,’’ Jonathan said. “For Reese, it helped lift his morale to think, ‘Here's my No. 1 competitor, and he's thinking about me.’ That made him feel that much better to get back into the pool and do what he loves.”

There were other swimmers on his team who didn’t understand why Josh would give a trophy he won to a competitor.

“He definitely has a big heart,’’ his father said.

“I can’t believe I’m getting all this attention for doing the right thing,’’ Josh told TODAY.com.

Though they plan to continue dueling in the pool in the coming years, the two have become closer friends since the trophy trade.

“I think the true significance of the trophy might be that it might be the most special win of his life," Josh's father said, "and he was doing it for someone else.’’

[Discuss Thrower]

What is wrong with this idiot?

http://www.today.com/news/swimming-champ-9-gives-trophy-hospitalized-rival-2D11745905
Before his swim meet on Dec. 7 had even started, Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, decided he was not only going to compete in honor of his biggest rival, but also win the top trophy in the event and give it to him.

The Santa Claus Invitational marked the second straight meet where Zuchowski and his father checked the entry sheet and did not see the name of friendly rival Reese Branzell, 10, from Lake Lytle, Fla. Branzell had been hospitalized on Nov. 8 with a bacterial infection in his hip for nearly two weeks and was unable to compete.

http://media3.s-nbcnews.com/j/streams/2013/December/131216/2D9987869-today-swimmer-131213-01.blocks_desktop_medium.jpgFlorida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Florida swimmer Josh Zuchowski, 9, (at left) gave his trophy as the top swimmer in a meet earlier this month to rival Reese Branzell, 10, (at right) after Branzell had been hospitalized and could not compete.
“Josh got very emotional and he just said, 'Dad I feel horrible for him, is there something we can do?'’’ Josh’s father, Jonathan Zuchowski, told TODAY.com. “Then he said, 'I expect to win five gold medals in this meet, so what do you think if I swim for him and if I win the high point trophy, I'll give it to him?'

“He wrote the card he was going to give Reese before he even swam the race. The card said, 'I swam for you today, and I want to give you this trophy.’’’

Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Jonathan Zuchowski
Before the swim meet began, Josh Zuhowski planned on winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter and giving them to friendly rival Reeze Branzell.
Josh, who is from Jupiter, Fla., accomplished his goal of winning five gold medals and the high-point trophy as the top point-getter in the meet.

When it was over, he gave the trophy to Reese’s swim coach with a card that read, "I am so sorry that you have not been feeling well. Get well soon. So we can get back to battling in the pool. I have looked up to you since I was seven. You were an inspiration for me wanting to swim fast. I would rather get second with you at the meet then win with you absent. I won this trophy for you today. I hope to see (you) back in the pool. Your friend, Josh.’’

The two have been swimming against one another for three years and often rank 1-2 at the meets where 9- and 10-year-olds compete in the same races. Reese has since been released from the hospital and has been on antibiotics for the infection. His family was blown away by the gesture.

“They said it was the single nicest act that anyone has ever done for him and his family,’’ Jonathan said. “For Reese, it helped lift his morale to think, ‘Here's my No. 1 competitor, and he's thinking about me.’ That made him feel that much better to get back into the pool and do what he loves.”

There were other swimmers on his team who didn’t understand why Josh would give a trophy he won to a competitor.

“He definitely has a big heart,’’ his father said.

“I can’t believe I’m getting all this attention for doing the right thing,’’ Josh told TODAY.com.

Though they plan to continue dueling in the pool in the coming years, the two have become closer friends since the trophy trade.

“I think the true significance of the trophy might be that it might be the most special win of his life," Josh's father said, "and he was doing it for someone else.’’

It's the ultimate bulletin board material. You got a consolation prize in the form of first place because you couldn't be there? That's a pecker slap right in the piehole. If I had a competitor's spirit and not the lame ass brokedck one I'm currently in possession of, this patronizing move would red ass me enough that I would seek to own this kid in every single event he holds dear for the rest of his life.

Swimming? I'm making Phelps' preparation in the pool look comical. Spelling bee? E-n-d-o-p-l-a-s-m-i-c-r-e-t-i-c-u-l-u-m, bitch. Basketball? Double-doubles on double-doubles pussy. Getting women? Orgies with the varsity cheerleaders as a freshman motherfucker.

[gblowfish]

God is a big fan of irony:

http://tinyurl.com/lg2nbte

A judge who presides over a drug court in Florida is entering rehab after unprofessional acts on the job.

Broward County Judge Gisele Pollack, who has been open about her past troubles with alcohol, admits she suffered a relapse, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. Other media outlets alleged that she was drunk in court on Tuesday, the day that her behavior seemed inappropriate.

On Tuesday, she abruptly adjourned the misdemeanor drug court that she founded after being in session for only 90 minutes.

Later, she was allegedly seen screaming at an assistant and demanding that someone return her car keys to her, CBS Miami reported. It appeared to an unnamed source that she had been crying.

The Miami New Times reported that another judge intervened to remove Pollack from the courtroom after she cursed at a co-worker, saying the employee would be fired.

A judge for nine years, Pollack, 55, earns $134,280, according to the Sun Sentinel.

Pollack didn't return to work on Wednesday, but on Thursday she told reporters that she'd take two weeks off for "an intense outpatient program," the Sun Sentinel said.

While campaigning in 2004, Pollack came under fire for violating the spirit of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings by essentially delivering stump speeches to the other addicts in attendance.

[scho63]

Sounds more like a riot! :PPL:

Five teenagers were arrested when a 600-person brawl broke out in a Florida movie theater's parking lot on Christmas night.

Described by police as a "melee," the fight occurred around 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday outside the Hollywood River City 14 movie theater in Jacksonville when a group tried to storm the theater's doors without purchasing tickets, police said. Several had rushed an off-duty police officer working as a security guard.

http://l2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/tOtQEa2t8dsK9JZ.Zh4BiA--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTI0MA--/http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/HT_shooting_mugshots_jtm_131226_16x9_608.jpg

The officer "administered pepper spray to disperse the group, locked the doors and called for backup, following protocol," said Lauri-Ellen Smith, a spokeswoman for the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

Soon after the pepper spray was used, "upward of 600 people moving throughout a parking lot about the size of a football field began fighting, disrupting and jumping on cars," she said.

Sixty-two police officers were called to the scene to break up the brawl, "sequestering them and separating them," Smith said.

Only minor injuries and damage to property were reported. No gunshots were fired, according to Smith.

600 People Involved in Movie Theater Brawl, 5 Arrested
All five of the people arrested on the scene were charged with crimes related to fighting. Three of those arrested, including one minor, were charged with felonies. Two other juveniles, who have not been named by police, were charged with misdemeanors.

Tevyn Alonza Davis, 19, was charged with resisting arrest and breach of the peace. Jaquade Marquis Miller, 18, was charged with fighting and resisting arrest. Khalil Ahmad Bradley, 17, the only minor charged with a felony, was arrested for resisting arrest, refusal to disperse and breach of the peace.

Davis and Bradley each "took a fighting stance" when confronted by police and told to leave the area, according to arrest reports. Miller, too, "took an aggressive stance" when told by police to leave the parking lot.

According to the movie theater's website, the cinema was showing "Tyler Perry's A Medea Christmas," "47 Ronin," "Grudge Match," "Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues" along with several other movies.

[gblowfish]

It wouldn't be New Years without new Florida News!

http://tinyurl.com/n43hm2d

A Florida man is facing battery charges after allegedly assaulting his wife with a turkey neck.

Michael Mullady was arrested last Thursday after he got into a verbal argument with his wife when she wouldn't let him have the checkbook.

Then he allegedly began breaking things in the kitchen of their home in Spring Hill, Fla., ABC Action News.com reported.

When Mullady's wife tried to walk away, cops say he grabbed a turkey neck from the counter, struck her in the neck with it, then threw it at her as she retreated, RawStory.com reported.

Authorities said Mullady admitted throwing the turkey neck at his wife, but did not recall striking her on the neck,TampaBay.com reported.

He was placed under arrest and charged with one count of domestic battery. He was released on $1,000 bail and ordered not to go near his wife.

[gblowfish]

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy-things-that-have-already-happened-this-year-in-florida?bffb

[Halfcan]

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy-things-that-have-already-happened-this-year-in-florida?bffb

ROFL

wow that is some list!

[BlackHelicopters]

Florida News has been jumpin' since the New Year began. Here's an overview of stuff that has already happened just nine days into 2014:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/crazy-things-that-have-already-happened-this-year-in-florida?bffb

LMAO

[MahiMike]

It's the ultimate bulletin board material. You got a consolation prize in the form of first place because you couldn't be there? That's a pecker slap right in the piehole. If I had a competitor's spirit and not the lame ass brokedck one I'm currently in possession of, this patronizing move would red ass me enough that I would seek to own this kid in every single event he holds dear for the rest of his life.

Swimming? I'm making Phelps' preparation in the pool look comical. Spelling bee? E-n-d-o-p-l-a-s-m-i-c-r-e-t-i-c-u-l-u-m, bitch. Basketball? Double-doubles on double-doubles pussy. Getting women? Orgies with the varsity cheerleaders as a freshman mother****er.

Well ain't you just a ray of sunshine?:eek:

[gblowfish]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/10/jennifer-feagley-attacks-roommate-butter_n_4575407.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

You butter not cross this woman.

Florida woman Jennifer Feagley, 24, allegedly beat her roommate with a cane during an argument about butter, then blamed it on pregnancy hormones, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

Volusia County Sheriff's deputies say Feagley, who is 6 months pregnant, became enraged when her 59-year-old roommate, Patricia Marson, put butter on the stove Tuesday night. Feagley allegedly whomped Marson in the head, got on top of her and punched her multiple times before busting out a cane and hitting her five times with it.

When deputies arrived, they say Feagley told them that hormones from her pregnancy were causing her anger, according to Click Orlando. She also said that she has schizoaffective disorder, but has not been taking medication because of the pregnancy.

Butter isn't the only food to inspire unbridled rage recently. Last week, an Iowa man was arrested after allegedly pulling a knife on his brother for eating too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[gblowfish]

Kayla Shavers, of New Port Richey, was charged with child neglect after police say she left her two young children in a freezing car on Thursday to go hog hunting, WTSP reports.

The 31-year-old who said she went after the hogs because they had been tearing up her property, allegedly left her 9-year-old and 8-month-old alone in the car, which was not running, around 7 a.m. on Thursday. The temperature was 38 degrees, according to WPTV. The 9-year-old did not have a coat.

The 9-year-old called 911, saying he was cold and "a police car would be warmer," according to Bay News 9. Police say they aren't sure how long the children were alone in the car, but after arriving at the scene it was about 40 minutes before Shavers emerged from the woods, clad in camo.

"Kudos to that little 9-year-old boy," Sheriff Chris Nocco told WTSP. Nocco says the boy may have saved the baby's life.

Authorities say Shavers claimed she was close enough to the car to respond if her children needed help. She also allegedly said she left the keys in the car for the 9-year-old to turn it on if needed, but he apparently wasn't able to do so.

More:
http://www.wtsp.com/news/local/article/353153/8/Mon-left-child-baby-in-freezing-car-to-go-hog-hunting