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Rain Man
01-30-2013, 01:18 PM
Pretty much every microwave frozen meal I have says, "Slit the top film with a knife to vent." I look at it and then peel up the corner. I'm not going to get a knife out for that.

Is there a difference between peeling up the corner and slitting with a knife? Am I losing 20 or 30 International Flavor Units (IFUs - I just made that up) by not slitting it with a knife? It's so much easier to just peel the corner that I don't know why they don't just tell me to peel the corner. Do they perhaps have a partnership with the Big Knife companies?

Poll forthcoming.

okoye35chiefs
01-30-2013, 01:19 PM
ROFL

The Franchise
01-30-2013, 01:19 PM
Kids meals are the fucking worst.

Remove the cover except over the corn. Remove chicken nuggets. Microwave for a minute. Stir the mac and cheese. Put nuggets back in and cook for 2 minutes.

Fucking hell.

okoye35chiefs
01-30-2013, 01:19 PM
do you wash the knife after you cut the slit or do you put it back in the drawer?

Chief Roundup
01-30-2013, 01:23 PM
I have a wife so no need for the microwave dinners.

Mr. Laz
01-30-2013, 01:24 PM
I have a wife so no need for the microwave dinners.
sexist bastige















:p

Johnny Vegas
01-30-2013, 01:24 PM
Kids meals are the fucking worst.

Remove the cover except over the corn. Remove chicken nuggets. Microwave for a minute. Stir the mac and cheese. Put nuggets back in and cook for 2 minutes.

Fucking hell.

that deserves a tip. or a blowy from the wifey.

rageeumr
01-30-2013, 01:26 PM
Use a knife, 2 second rinse, quick wipe with a paper towel, right back in the knife block.

KC Tattoo
01-30-2013, 01:30 PM
I need a "stab it with a fork multiple times" option. To just poke holes in the top that is all. It vents it just fine that way. At the same time pretending it's someone you don't like so much helps revil the distane. :evil:

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 01:30 PM
I slit the film, then toss the knife in soapy dishwater. Then I get really pissed that I have to clean the damn thing just so I could devour a disgusting tv dinner.

JBucc
01-30-2013, 01:30 PM
There's the cardboard ones that tell you to peel up the corner, so I'm gonna assume its perfectly ok to do so and the rest of the TV dinner makers are in bed with big knife.

mikeyis4dcats.
01-30-2013, 01:32 PM
Probably insignificant, but there could be some practical difference in venting through the center versus one corner.

Rain Man
01-30-2013, 01:34 PM
I need a "stab it with a fork multiple times" option. To just poke holes in the top that is all. It vents it just fine that way. At the same time pretending it's someone you don't like so much helps revil the distane. :evil:

Oh, I forgot that option. I can see that as a reasonable approach, too.

T-Town
01-30-2013, 01:35 PM
The cardboard ones I used to get just make you peel up the corner. $0.88 each FTW

Canofbier
01-30-2013, 01:37 PM
I usually grab my nearest chef's knife and then swing it at the film (with my wrist) several times: POP! POP! POP! If I'm lucky, I still have all my fingers and my microwave meal is appropriately vented. Washing the knife? Nah, the food was still frozen, doesn't count.

patteeu
01-30-2013, 01:38 PM
Sometimes you shouldn't take those directions too explicitly. When I was in college, I made a batch of brownies from a box mix. The box instructions said to "mix by hand" so I rolled up my sleeves, washed my hands and started mixing. How was I supposed to know that "mix by hand" really means "mix with a utensil but don't use an electric mixer"?

patteeu
01-30-2013, 01:39 PM
My answer to the poll question is that I usually peel.

Canofbier
01-30-2013, 01:40 PM
The cardboard ones I used to get just make you peel up the corner. $0.88 each FTW

Ugh. I've shied away from the cheap microwave meals (especially the non-frozen ones) ever since I ate these things for lunch for almost an entire week at a new job:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2659/4079533694_ffc02a35a4.jpg

I was crapping out lightly colored ooze (about the same as the gravy in that picture) for a few days, even after I stopped eating them. I thought my digestive system had broken or something.

Chief Roundup
01-30-2013, 01:41 PM
sexist bastige















:p

Me? Never....

Predarat
01-30-2013, 01:43 PM
What I do is place Aluminium foil on top of it, then you do not have to cut or tear it.

Crush
01-30-2013, 01:44 PM
I see Big Corner got to Rain Man.

KC Tattoo
01-30-2013, 01:48 PM
What I do is place Aluminium foil on top of it, then you do not have to cut or tear it.

Edit:not sure if serious?

You put aluminium foil in the microwave? Is that safe?

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 01:49 PM
You put aluminium foil in the microwave? Is that safe?

ROFL

Fish
01-30-2013, 01:49 PM
People actually eat those microwave meals?

KC Tattoo
01-30-2013, 01:49 PM
ROFL

I put an edit on my post LMAO

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 01:51 PM
I put an edit on my post LMAO

I'm pretty sure he was joking. ;)

listopencil
01-30-2013, 02:03 PM
Some of the items in a microwave meal are designed to lose moisture at a, more or less, specific rate. By peeling the corner you alter the rate from that which the manufacturer prefers to ensure the highest possible quality. You may find that you enjoy the items more or less by changing the "cooking" process. I prefer drier vegetables for instance. Your mileage may vary.

listopencil
01-30-2013, 02:05 PM
Edit:not sure if serious?

You put aluminium foil in the microwave? Is that safe?

It's only safe if you fashion a mini disco ball out of it first and hang it from the interior top (ceiling) of the microwave. This is to deflect the radiation and prevent an electrical fire.

dmahurin
01-30-2013, 02:06 PM
sexist bastige



:p

Sexist? No, being sexist is wrong. Being wrong is for women.

okoye35chiefs
01-30-2013, 02:11 PM
Sometimes you shouldn't take those directions too explicitly. When I was in college, I made a batch of brownies from a box mix. The box instructions said to "mix by hand" so I rolled up my sleeves, washed my hands and started mixing. How was I supposed to know that "mix by hand" really means "mix with a utensil but don't use an electric mixer"?

same with shampoo...I've been in the shower for days now...

wash, rinse, repeat... when the hell do I stop!

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 02:12 PM
Sexist? No, being sexist is wrong. Being wrong is for women.

STFU

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 02:15 PM
same with shampoo...I've been in the shower for days now...

wash, rinse, repeat... when the hell do I stop!

When you run out of shampoo.

You're welcome. :)

morphius
01-30-2013, 02:16 PM
Not eating microwave meals myself, is it possible that they want you to cut it open so that you don't burn yourself and then try to hold them liable?

At least that was the first thing that came to my mind.

listopencil
01-30-2013, 02:17 PM
Not eating microwave meals myself, is it possible that they want you to cut it open so that you don't burn yourself and then try to hold them liable?

At least that was the first thing that came to my mind.

What if you cut yourself with the knife?

okoye35chiefs
01-30-2013, 02:21 PM
When you run out of shampoo.

You're welcome. :)

ahhhhh thanks lumpy.. this is gonna get expensive!

Lumpy
01-30-2013, 02:26 PM
ahhhhh thanks lumpy.. this is gonna get expensive!

Always happy to help. :)

CrazyPhuD
01-30-2013, 03:04 PM
I dun eat anything without a slit in it.

morphius
01-30-2013, 03:11 PM
What if you cut yourself with the knife?
You have to go after the knife manufacturer, duh.

bevischief
01-30-2013, 03:14 PM
Edit:not sure if serious?

You put aluminium foil in the microwave? Is that safe?

Sure it is. Saw it on YouTube.




ROFL

bevischief
01-30-2013, 03:16 PM
I just leave the knife in it to keep it from blowing up and making a mess.

Easy 6
01-30-2013, 03:28 PM
Doesnt matter, just make sure to add a bit of water or milk (depending on what it is) and a bit of butter.

It can really help make crap even more craptacular.

Rain Man
01-30-2013, 03:30 PM
Now I'm curious about the proportion of knife users who wash the knife versus just putting it back. That might not rise to the level of a whole new poll, though.

SuperChief
01-30-2013, 03:33 PM
Use a knife, 2 second rinse, quick wipe with a paper towel, right back in the knife block.

YOU HAVE A WHOLE BLOCK FOR JUST YOUR KNIVES?!??

Fish
01-30-2013, 03:33 PM
I just leave the knife in it to keep it from blowing up and making a mess.

Actually, metal in the microwave isn't necessarily damaging in many cases. The magnetron that creates the microwave rays can't really be hurt by it. The problem is when the metal gets in just the right position, it has the possibility of acting like an antenna which focuses the microwave rays and can arc and possibly ignite something else. It just depends on how much the microwaves are dispersed around in the cage, and what type of materials happen to be in the sweet spot, and whether they're moving around. But there are many ways you can safely have metal in a microwave. Some foods actually have a small bit of metal in the packaging and sometimes that is actually intended to focus the microwaves just a little bit.

bevischief
01-30-2013, 03:33 PM
Why wash it? The germs make you strong.

bevischief
01-30-2013, 03:35 PM
Actually, metal in the microwave isn't necessarily damaging in many cases. The magnetron that creates the microwave rays can't really be hurt by it. The problem is when the metal gets in just the right position, it has the possibility of acting like an antenna which focuses the microwave rays and can arc and possibly ignite something else. It just depends on how much the microwaves are dispersed around in the cage, and what type of materials happen to be in the sweet spot, and whether they're moving around. But there are many ways you can safely have metal in a microwave. Some foods actually have a small bit of metal in the packaging and sometimes that is actually intended to focus the microwaves just a little bit.

ROFLROFL

I wasn't serious. I know how it works more than you know. I have only had about 3 hours sleep the in the last 24 hours.

rageeumr
01-30-2013, 03:42 PM
YOU HAVE A WHOLE BLOCK FOR JUST YOUR KNIVES?!??

We stunt hard in my house.

listopencil
01-30-2013, 04:44 PM
YOU HAVE A WHOLE BLOCK FOR JUST YOUR KNIVES?!??

I heat my food in a kiln, powered by dragons, and I quench my meat in unicorn blood. It's more expensive but I'm worth it.

J Diddy
01-30-2013, 04:48 PM
I heat my food in a kiln, powered by dragons, and I quench my meat in unicorn blood. It's more expensive but I'm worth it.

If you add just a drop of Bronco tear, it is magnificent.

Dayze
01-30-2013, 05:08 PM
I do know, that microwaving Campbell's soups results in miniature nuclear explosions.

no idea why.

*edit*...LMAO at the 4th option.

houstonwhodat
01-30-2013, 07:01 PM
I need a "stab it with a fork multiple times" option. To just poke holes in the top that is all. It vents it just fine that way. At the same time pretending it's someone you don't like so much helps revil the distane. :evil:

This.

BlackHelicopters
01-30-2013, 07:26 PM
My eyes have never been the same since the microwave oven was invented.

hometeam
01-30-2013, 07:27 PM
I'm a peeler because honestly, its easier, and who gives a shit.

Ace Gunner
01-30-2013, 07:32 PM
holy shit.

T-Town
01-30-2013, 07:34 PM
Ugh. I've shied away from the cheap microwave meals (especially the non-frozen ones) ever since I ate these things for lunch for almost an entire week at a new job:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2659/4079533694_ffc02a35a4.jpg

I was crapping out lightly colored ooze (about the same as the gravy in that picture) for a few days, even after I stopped eating them. I thought my digestive system had broken or something.

Some of them did bad things to me but I usually blamed it on the beer. Couldn't be the cheap processed crap for food I'm taking in

KC Tattoo
01-30-2013, 07:34 PM
I'm a peeler because honestly, its easier, and who gives a shit.

Rain Man, & about 46 people who voted and me with my own poke holes with a fork in it option. That's who gives a shit.

I would never ever mock a Rain Man poll. Eva


Forgive hometeam Rain Man he does not know what he is saying.

mlyonsd
01-30-2013, 07:42 PM
The reason you are instructed to pierce the film instead of peeling is obvious and for a purpose.

If the contents of the meal shift before it is completely frozen the liquid part could collect on one side of the packaging.

When heated in a microwave concentrated liquid could start to boil. If it has congregated at the edge that has been peeled it could boil and expand outside the package, into the microwave. Hence the vile community microwave at work places, created by people that don't understand common logic and reason.

If pierced on the top of the film your microwave will probably be spared.

This isn't rocket science people.

Rain Man
01-30-2013, 08:08 PM
Rain Man, & about 46 people who voted and me with my own poke holes with a fork in it option. That's who gives a shit.

I would never ever mock a Rain Man poll. Eva


Forgive hometeam Rain Man he does not know what he is saying.


I appreciate your ongoing support. This is an important issue, because the time cost of finding a knife for 50 million people per day times 5 days per week times 365 days per year at 10 seconds per knife is about 4.9 million lost hours of productivity per year. And if every one of those knives costs 1 cent to wash, we're talking about $130 million in avoidable costs. If you want to know why we're losing ground on the Chinese, look no further than our frivolous uses of knives in venting microwave dinners.

hometeam
01-30-2013, 08:12 PM
Rain Man, & about 46 people who voted and me with my own poke holes with a fork in it option. That's who gives a shit.

I would never ever mock a Rain Man poll. Eva


Forgive hometeam Rain Man he does not know what he is saying.

I'm more saying, that is what I am saying to myself as I do it~

65TPT
01-30-2013, 08:27 PM
I just throw it in and wait for the popping noise when it blows it's own vent hole.

mlyonsd
01-30-2013, 08:41 PM
I appreciate your ongoing support. This is an important issue, because the time cost of finding a knife for 50 million people per day times 5 days per week times 365 days per year at 10 seconds per knife is about 4.9 million lost hours of productivity per year. And if every one of those knives costs 1 cent to wash, we're talking about $130 million in avoidable costs. If you want to know why we're losing ground on the Chinese, look no further than our frivolous uses of knives in venting microwave dinners.I'll bet your microwave looks like a discarded petri dish from the CDC.

Easy 6
01-30-2013, 08:50 PM
Now I'm curious about the proportion of knife users who wash the knife versus just putting it back. That might not rise to the level of a whole new poll, though.

A quick rinse and wipe on the kitchen towel does the trick for me, keeps me as healthy and strong as a russian caveman.

Dayze
01-30-2013, 08:53 PM
I'll bet your microwave looks like a discarded petri dish from the CDC.

LMAO

GloryDayz
01-30-2013, 08:59 PM
I thought today was a waste, then I read this thread. I'm glad I woke up...

Rugby Thompson
01-30-2013, 09:16 PM
I put it in the oven, microwave is fucking disgusting.

aturnis
01-30-2013, 10:22 PM
Kids meals are the ****ing worst.

Remove the cover except over the corn. Remove chicken nuggets. Microwave for a minute. Stir the mac and cheese. Put nuggets back in and cook for 2 minutes.

****ing hell.

FUUUUUUUUUCKKK! Enough already. Our poor fucking children...

Miles
01-30-2013, 10:49 PM
Depends if its a plastic bag covering the entire tray like you find on some of the fancy ones (Amy's) or just a film covering the top (Lean Cuisine). The ones with the bag matter since it may not fill with steam correctly if you cut it in the wrong place.

HolyHat
01-31-2013, 12:34 PM
What does my lower back tattoo have to do with me not knowing how to use a microwave?

Rain Man
01-31-2013, 12:38 PM
What does my lower back tattoo have to do with me not knowing how to use a microwave?

I posted a while back that if you have a lower back tattoo, the phosphorus in the ink can interact with the microwave signals to ignite a phosphorus fire in your back.

Please spread word about this to everyone you know. I don't have children, so I want this and 'disigerent' to be my legacy.

Dayze
01-31-2013, 12:40 PM
What does my lower back tattoo have to do with me not knowing how to use a microwave?

I knew it.

gblowfish
01-31-2013, 12:47 PM
What if I eat the meal frozen, then poop in my crisper bin?

HolyHat
01-31-2013, 01:07 PM
I posted a while back that if you have a lower back tattoo, the phosphorus in the ink can interact with the microwave signals to ignite a phosphorus fire in your back.

Please spread word about this to everyone you know. I don't have children, so I want this and 'disigerent' to be my legacy.

Link?

Rain Man
01-31-2013, 01:35 PM
Link?


http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=86598&highlight=tattoo

HolyHat
01-31-2013, 01:38 PM
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=86598&highlight=tattoo

well, shit. Looks like I better drop my class at JUCO. Microwave 101

Rain Man
01-31-2013, 01:42 PM
well, shit. Looks like I better drop my class at JUCO. Microwave 101


Please spread the word. If just one young woman sprays herself with cooking spray and wraps herself in Saran Wrap, it will make me a happy man.

epitome1170
01-31-2013, 02:49 PM
Use a knife, 2 second rinse, quick wipe with a paper towel, right back in the knife block.

Remind me not to use your knives when I eat at your house. :p

listopencil
01-31-2013, 03:24 PM
I posted a while back that if you have a lower back tattoo, the phosphorus in the ink can interact with the microwave signals to ignite a phosphorus fire in your back.

Please spread word about this to everyone you know. I don't have children, so I want this and 'disigerent' to be my legacy.


I tried.

I wish you wouldn't joke about that. It happened to my great-aunt Cindy. She is the last one still alive in her generation of the family and decided to get a tattoo of her siblings' names on her lower back, just inside the upper panty line. Last year she was puttering around in the kitchen, sweeping up the floor as she microwaved some hot water for her afternoon tea. She backed towards the counter to get at the dust bunnies under the fridge and passed in front of the microwave for what could only have been about thirty seconds. Apparently the minerals found in some tattoo inks are very sensitive to microwave radiation and her lower back burst into flames. She immediately tried to leap backwards and to her left into the sink but missed and hit the dish drying rack, falling to the floor. Then she rolled into the dining alcove and pulled the sugar bowl onto herself. The sugar melted and caramelized, forming a layer over the wound and putting out the fire. She was able to get herself to the emergency room where they removed some of the extra flesh under her breasts to do a skin graft and were able to save about half of the original tattoo. Now she doesn't know whether to replace the missing part or not. It was a very traumatic experience for her. The doctors said that she's lucky to have such a saggy butt and that she wears such gigantic panties or this could have been a lot worse.

Rain Man
01-31-2013, 03:25 PM
I tried.


Personal stories like that are what it takes. Good job.

KChiefer
01-31-2013, 03:29 PM
Where's the "poke with fork a few times" option?