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loochy
02-05-2013, 08:19 PM
Zoophile: ‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2013/02/04/zoophile-i-was-trying-to-make-the-horse-have-a-baby/index.html

Maybe no one explained to Andrew Mendoza of Wharton County Texas, that some things are better left unsaid, but Mendoza, who was accused of sexing up the neighbor’s horse, wanted to explain himself and so waived his right to remain silent. Having read the report, this writer really wishes he hadn’t.

According to his statement Mendoza was waiting for his girlfriend to come over, but when she hadn’t called by 11 p.m., he decided to go over his neighbor’s and have sex with their brown horse. Was he lonely, merely reaching out to another human,— I mean species — for comfort; or was this just a petty attempt to make his girlfriend jealous? Well, it’s even weirder than that. Unfortunately he describes in detail his ‘good time’ with the horse, whose name was not released by police, adding that, “The horse did not try to move or nothing it just stood there while I was f***king it. I guess the horse was liking it.” That’s what they all say.

He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He merrily concluded, “I ain’t gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse.” Thank you for sharing, Mr. Mendoza.

Mendoza, who already had a lengthy rap sheet, pleaded guilty to criminal trespass and public lewdness. He was sentenced to four months in jail. He wasn’t so merry when he was later serving a separate sentence for trespassing and indecency with a child. We may never know if he blamed his girlfriend for that too, because he hanged himself in his cell.

In58men
02-05-2013, 08:20 PM
Horse shit

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:21 PM
Read the report below. Man this is hilarious....especially because of his truthfulness and because of his use of really bad language in an official report to police.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/mendozadoc1.jpg

Pablo
02-05-2013, 08:24 PM
Holy shit, that was some of the best stuff I've read in quite some time.

"I ain't gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse".

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:26 PM
I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time. This was the only time I effed the neighbor's horse.

cabletech94
02-05-2013, 08:28 PM
Read the report below. Man this is hilarious....especially because of his truthfulness and because of his use of really bad language in an official report to police.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/mendozadoc1.jpg

i'm paraprashing here "i promise, i haven't been back to fuck the horse".LMAO

are we sure this didn't happen in florida?LMAO

ClevelandBronco
02-05-2013, 08:28 PM
Should have kept his mouth shut. You gotta know when to foal them.

KC native
02-05-2013, 08:29 PM
If Jack helped you off a horse, would you help Jack off a horse?

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:29 PM
he was a shoe in to go to jail

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:31 PM
i dont know where he learned this behavior...he mustang out with the wrong crowd

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:31 PM
All he was looking for was a stable relationship

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:32 PM
This man was so saddle try to sleep with anything - even a horse!

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:33 PM
This horse really knew how to stirrup his sex drive

Rausch
02-05-2013, 08:33 PM
Not the first time...

http://i27.tinypic.com/10eoaky.jpg http://www.dallasnews.com/incoming/20110206-108528588jr001_hall_of_fame.jpg.ece/BINARY/w620x413/108528588JR001_HALL_OF_FAME.jpg

Rasputin
02-05-2013, 08:33 PM
"Texas" the new "Florida" ?!?!


Hey Meyhico you can have Texas back.

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:34 PM
He went to jail, but he wasn't there furlong

cabletech94
02-05-2013, 08:35 PM
"Texas" the new "Florida" ?!?!


Hey Meyhico you can have Texas back.

someone please cue the Q!!!:p

loochy
02-05-2013, 08:48 PM
His sex life was in shambles so he just decided to foald

journeyscarab
02-05-2013, 09:01 PM
Just a bunch of horseplay. No harm, no foal.

Planetman
02-05-2013, 09:08 PM
He picked this pony because it couldn't cry out for help.

It was a little horse.

Prison Bitch
02-05-2013, 09:30 PM
Obama wants to grant this guy citizenship??

Al Bundy
02-05-2013, 09:32 PM
Send him to the glue factory.

RyFo18
02-05-2013, 10:13 PM
[B][U]He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.”

And a horseman baby was born.

http://www.sportsherniablog.com/.a/6a00d83451b84f69e2014e8834333a970d-400wi

KcMizzou
02-05-2013, 10:18 PM
This will never happen with Eric Berry. He aint playin' wit no horses, bruh.

Canofbier
02-05-2013, 10:31 PM
Read the report below. Man this is hilarious....especially because of his truthfulness and because of his use of really bad language in an official report to police.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/dr/teg/tsg/release/sites/default/files/assets/mendozadoc1.jpg

Oh my god...you've never made a post that was more appropriately followed by your signature.

houstonwhodat
02-05-2013, 11:11 PM
Damn illegal aliens.

Go hang yourself.

Oh wait...

cosmo20002
02-05-2013, 11:16 PM
Zoophile: ‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2013/02/04/zoophile-i-was-trying-to-make-the-horse-have-a-baby/index.html

He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He merrily concluded, “I ain’t gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse.” Thank you for sharing, Mr. Mendoza.

Mendoza, who already had a lengthy rap sheet, pleaded guilty to criminal trespass and public lewdness. He was sentenced to four months in jail. He wasn’t so merry when he was later serving a separate sentence for trespassing and indecency with a child. We may never know if he blamed his girlfriend for that too, because he hanged himself in his cell.

Yet another horseman baby who will grow up without a father. The responsibility will once again fall to the taxpayers.

KChiefer
02-05-2013, 11:23 PM
Obama wants to grant this guy citizenship??

Where is it stated that this guy was an illegal alien?

And can you really blame the guy? When this is your girlfriend, deciding to not **** a horse isn't so cut and dry.

http://sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/051.jpg?w=450&h=350

cosmo20002
02-05-2013, 11:30 PM
And can you really blame the guy? When this is your girlfriend, deciding to not **** a horse isn't so cut and dry.

http://sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/051.jpg?w=450&h=350

LMAO Might even be an upgrade.

KcMizzou
02-05-2013, 11:38 PM
He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He merrily concluded, “I ain’t gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse.” Thank you for sharing, Mr. Mendoza.Dude... wait. A centaur?

Has anyone checked that horse? This could be awesome.

KC native
02-06-2013, 12:17 AM
Obama wants to grant this guy citizenship??

Dipshit. Immigrants don't use phrases like "I ain't gonna lie. I blew a nut in that horse."

Prison Bitch
02-06-2013, 12:55 AM
Dipshit. Immigrants don't use phrases like "I ain't gonna lie. I blew a nut in that horse."

The ones I know do.

Imon Yourside
02-06-2013, 01:11 AM
So this is the Mendoza line I hear so much about. (sry if repost)

mikey23545
02-06-2013, 01:30 AM
Dipshit. Immigrants don't use phrases like "I ain't gonna lie. I blew a nut in that horse."

Are you an expert on what they do say?

mikey23545
02-06-2013, 01:33 AM
Zoophile: ‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2013/02/04/zoophile-i-was-trying-to-make-the-horse-have-a-baby/index.html

Maybe no one explained to Andrew Mendoza of Wharton County Texas, that some things are better left unsaid, but Mendoza, who was accused of sexing up the neighbor’s horse, wanted to explain himself and so waived his right to remain silent. Having read the report, this writer really wishes he hadn’t.

According to his statement Mendoza was waiting for his girlfriend to come over, but when she hadn’t called by 11 p.m., he decided to go over his neighbor’s and have sex with their brown horse. Was he lonely, merely reaching out to another human,— I mean species — for comfort; or was this just a petty attempt to make his girlfriend jealous? Well, it’s even weirder than that. Unfortunately he describes in detail his ‘good time’ with the horse, whose name was not released by police, adding that, “The horse did not try to move or nothing it just stood there while I was f***king it. I guess the horse was liking it.” That’s what they all say.

He also shared his motive, “I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.” He merrily concluded, “I ain’t gonna lie, I blew a nut in the horse.” Thank you for sharing, Mr. Mendoza.

Mendoza, who already had a lengthy rap sheet, pleaded guilty to criminal trespass and public lewdness. He was sentenced to four months in jail. He wasn’t so merry when he was later serving a separate sentence for trespassing and indecency with a child. We may never know if he blamed his girlfriend for that too, because he hanged himself in his cell.


I would imagine the reason the horse did not move and just stood there would be that if it could speak it would have said "Is it in yet?"

King_Chief_Fan
02-06-2013, 09:05 AM
amazing what is said and done.

you can't make this kind of stuff up

Imon Yourside
02-06-2013, 09:09 AM
amazing what is said and done.

you can't make this kind of stuff up

Oh he definitely tried that, problem is that it was real.

Frosty
02-06-2013, 09:18 AM
“I was trying to make the horse have a baby. I was thinking it would have a horseman baby.”

If that worked, Scotland would be full of sheepmen.

loochy
02-06-2013, 09:21 AM
If that worked, Scotland would be full of sheepmen.

Omaha's house would be full of menmen

boogblaster
02-06-2013, 12:23 PM
horsepucky .....

Otter
02-06-2013, 01:30 PM
Sounded like a smart guy. What a loss. He was just here to make a better life for himself.

Didn't Cortez introduce horses to Mexico years ago?

ptlyon
02-06-2013, 01:45 PM
horsefucky .....

FYP

Easy 6
02-06-2013, 01:51 PM
Well, atleast this story had a happy ending.

Demonpenz
02-06-2013, 01:59 PM
Mexicans are fucking the horses no white person wants to fuck

Chief Faithful
02-06-2013, 02:43 PM
Zoophile: ‘I Was Trying To Make The Horse Have a Baby’

http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/blog/2013/02/04/zoophile-i-was-trying-to-make-the-horse-have-a-baby/index.html

Unfortunately he describes in detail his ‘good time’ with the horse, whose name was not released by police, adding that, “The horse did not try to move or nothing it just stood there while I was f***king it. I guess the horse was liking it.” That’s what they all say.



So the horse was consenting?

ptlyon
02-06-2013, 03:31 PM
So the horse was consenting?

She wanted it

houstonwhodat
02-06-2013, 03:36 PM
Mexicans are ****ing the horses no white person wants to ****


ROFL :clap: :drool: ROFL

Lonewolf Ed
02-06-2013, 03:54 PM
If that worked, Scotland would be full of sheepmen.

I've heard that Wales is where you'll find the most sheep shaggers. I wonder if the Greek tales of centaurs, satyrs, and minotaurs were made up by the women to make the men too scared to mount the livestock. :hmmm:

bevischief
02-06-2013, 03:57 PM
I've heard that Wales is where you'll find the most sheep shaggers. I wonder if the Greek tales of centaurs, satyrs, and minotaurs were made up by the women to make the men too scared to mount the livestock. :hmmm:

How long does a horse need to go full term?:)

Canofbier
02-06-2013, 04:03 PM
“_______ ain’t gonna lie, they blew a nut in the horse.” should be a rep level on this forum.

Frosty
02-06-2013, 04:05 PM
So the horse was consenting?

Probably didn't notice

bevischief
02-06-2013, 04:27 PM
“_______ ain’t gonna lie, they blew a nut in the horse.” should be a rep level on this forum.

Should be used the next time we beat the donkeys.

Nickel D
02-06-2013, 04:38 PM
Considering all aspects of this story, I'm certain there's a witty line involving the phrase "hung like a horse" -- I just can't seem to get ahold of a good one.

Nickel D
02-06-2013, 04:43 PM
If only he had severely injured his spine while establishing his positioning to have sex with the horse, then there'd be a good deal of humor in the line: Brokeback Mountin'.

BlackHelicopters
02-06-2013, 05:32 PM
As Dave Attell says, " When you fuck a horse, you know you'll always have a ride home."

CrazyPhuD
02-06-2013, 05:54 PM
So the horse was consenting?

Well he didn't say the horse was naying.

OrtonsPiercedTaint
02-06-2013, 07:02 PM
You never hear that these guys get shot. I guess with their pants around their ankles they cant' get away quickly. You'd have no defense in court.

DonTellMeShowMe
02-06-2013, 07:08 PM
This thread is awesome

loochy
02-06-2013, 07:15 PM
You never hear that these guys get shot. I guess with their pants around their ankles they cant' get away quickly. You'd have no defense in court.

Yeah but what if the horse is really hot?

Floridafan
02-06-2013, 07:25 PM
If that worked, Scotland would be full of sheepmen.


HEY.....I was born in Scotland. That was a baaaaaaaaaaaaad thing to say about my fellow countrymen.

Iowanian
02-06-2013, 07:26 PM
"I was trying to make the horse have a baby" -Jack Elway 1970

Floridafan
02-06-2013, 07:27 PM
Considering all aspects of this story, I'm certain there's a witty line involving the phrase "hung like a horse" -- I just can't seem to get ahold of a good one.

The end of the story says while in jail he hung himself. Wouldn't that qualify. He hung himself like a horse?

This was bad I know.

AussieChiefsFan
02-07-2013, 12:21 AM
No amount of "ROFL"s suffice

ptlyon
02-07-2013, 10:28 AM
Considering all aspects of this story, I'm certain there's a witty line involving the phrase "hung like a horse" -- I just can't seem to get ahold of a good one.

Well, he hung one ON a horse...

Frosty
02-07-2013, 11:18 AM
HEY.....I was born in Scotland. That was a baaaaaaaaaaaaad thing to say about my fellow countrymen.

You're not a sheepman, are you? :hmmm:

CrazyPhuD
02-07-2013, 07:20 PM
I'm curious was it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway? Or is the guy hung like a horse?

OrtonsPiercedTaint
02-07-2013, 08:11 PM
His long national neigh mare is over.