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View Full Version : Funny Stuff An open letter to former Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo


PunkinDrublic
02-23-2013, 02:57 PM
Cut and pasted this from facebook. I thought it was pretty funny.

Mr. Lombardo



What with your contract woes with Slayer, it seems you are now no longer a member. Well, Dave, they say with every door that closes, another opens. A big door with our logo on it has just swung wide.



That's right, you just got called up to the big leagues. We'd like to invite you to drum for Lich King.



We are the world's premier unsigned western Massachusetts thrash metal band, and a position with us carries a great deal of clout and privilege. In addition to the twelve dollars we can give you out of our pay split after EVERY SHOW, we are willing to offer you a signing bonus of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS and one (1) gift certificate for $20 at Red Robin.



Your duties will include

• Drumming

• Hauling gear

• Driving long hours on tour

• Providing us with a practice space because ours belongs to our current drummer Brian

• Booking tours (also a Brian duty)

• Doing the band accounting (another Brian job)

• Recording and producing our albums (Brian again)

• Telling Brian he's fired



A caveat: we already have a Dave in the band, and to avoid confusion, you will have to pick a different first name. I think Steve Lombardo has a nice ring to it, but the choice is yours so long as it does not clash with any of our names and it passes our approval by a majority vote.



If you accept our terms, there will of course be an audition. We can't just let you in without seeing what you can do. Practice up on any three of our songs. We can send you the mp3s to practice to (we will deduct the 99 cents per song from your future earnings) and can schedule your audition at your convenience.



We await your response.

Cordially

-Tom, Dave, Joe & Rob

LICH KING



.

KCUnited
02-23-2013, 03:07 PM
Had an '82 Z28 with LMBRDO as a personalized plate. It was right after Seasons came out.

SAUTO
02-23-2013, 03:11 PM
Why not just ask him to be called Brian?
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okcchief
02-23-2013, 03:37 PM
Haha.

That's awesome. The situation is fucked up by the way.

Tombstone RJ
02-23-2013, 03:45 PM
Lombardo claims that 90% of the bands gross income from touring is being deducted as expenses leaving the band 10% to split among themselves. Yah, I'd be questioning that too.

Mr. Flopnuts
02-23-2013, 03:47 PM
Lombardo claims that 90% of the bands gross income from touring is being deducted as expenses leaving the band 10% to split among themselves. Yah, I'd be questioning that too.

And after getting kicked out of the band, I'd be suing. If that's the claim, they're full of shit.

Tombstone RJ
02-23-2013, 03:59 PM
And after getting kicked out of the band, I'd be suing. If that's the claim, they're full of shit.

The lawyers will take the remaining 10%.

Unless the band is doing wildly crazing things while touring, like throwing huge parties, destroying hotels, insisting on the best food possible, drinking high dollar beverages, getting nonstop crap like yoga lessons and massage therapy, hookers, drugs etc., etc., etc., AND they aren't selling out their shows (the venues are expensive, with a low return, etc.), then I think Lombardo has legitimate complaint.

It's hard to find people you can trust with your money, and I'm thinking Lombardo is pointing this out to the other guys in the band and for whatever reason, they don't see it this way. Now they are getting the lawyers involved and what little money is left, is going to the lawyers.

mcaj22
02-23-2013, 04:06 PM
hes mad that the rest of the band gets a higher cut than he does

Kerry King gets more money because hes Kerry King, hes the image of the band. No different than a pro sports team paying a guy more money that puts people in the seats. Or WWE paying John Cena more than insert jobber wrestler here ____.

Though I dont argue that Lombardo is the most talented member at what he does by far, and Kerry King essentially sucks at guitar, it's been the same makeup of the band for 30+ years.

For him to cry now hes probably looking for his last cash in as they are older. This isnt the first time hes left the band. And they have been making bank the last couple years thanks to a younger generation of crappy bands playing heavy music and citing Slayer as influences, so a young generation thats like tons of awful metalcore will now come out to Slayer shows. Essentially having a really young fan base ontop of their older market. They current peak at the best of both worlds and have trends and styles of music coming back around to thank for that, and so there is tons of money to be made in 2013 for them, as opposed when there was lows in the band because the music wasnt "in" at the time.

Tombstone RJ
02-23-2013, 04:14 PM
Lombardo and each member in the band should know the deal going into it. That is, these guys have been around for a long time and unless their brains are fried, each should know not only the financial situation of the tour (the cut is not even for all members, plus what the management and crew get, etc) but what is expected from them as a band. Unless Lombardo went in on this tour blind, he should not be questioning stuff now, unless like I said in the above post, the guys in the band are just doing stupid stuff that he doesn't agree with. I seriously doubt this is the case as these guys are older, wiley vets and are probably more interested in making bank than banging groupies, etc.

SAUTO
02-23-2013, 04:19 PM
Lombardo claims that 90% of the bands gross income from touring is being deducted as expenses leaving the band 10% to split among themselves. Yah, I'd be questioning that too.

Slash said the same things about guns
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mcaj22
02-23-2013, 04:21 PM
Lombardo and each member in the band should know the deal going into it. That is, these guys have been around for a long time and unless their brains are fried, each should know not only the financial situation of the tour (the cut is not even for all members, plus what the management and crew get, etc) but what is expected from them as a band. Unless Lombardo went in on this tour blind, he should not be questioning stuff now, unless like I said in the above post, the guys in the band are just doing stupid stuff that he doesn't agree with. I seriously doubt this is the case as these guys are older, wiley vets and are probably more interested in making bank than banging groupies, etc.

they had a really successful 2012. And probably after both tours, especially the fall one with Rob Zombie, Lombardo decided over the holidays to look at the books, because he probably didnt expect such a successful run at this stage of their careers, and knew there was more money to made than what he was being led on to believe.

Ace Gunner
02-23-2013, 04:26 PM
He had to fight through a lot of garbage excuses to get publishing on his own songs -- I'm pretty sure he's having the same lame ass difficulty with them touring.

He's the sound of Slayer as is typical of metal -- drummers are the signature of metal sound. Drum tracks influence the writings in rudimentary ways, hence DL's struggle.

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 04:50 PM
He had to fight through a lot of garbage excuses to get publishing on his own songs -- I'm pretty sure he's having the same lame ass difficulty with them touring.

He's the sound of Slayer as is typical of metal -- drummers are the signature of metal sound. Drum tracks influence the writings in rudimentary ways, hence DL's struggle.

How could anyone give a drummer songwriting/ publishing credit? They get what the band feeds them or nothing at all.
Would you give the bassist equal songwriting credit for coming up with the idea of playing the root notes of a song you wrote?
Unless the "player" puts a spin on a song that changes the dynamic of what was originally written they don't deserve a penny and are expendable.
If you muted the drum track of the majority of Slayer songs you wouldn't notice a huge difference. Plus, you could find any number of session drummers that could play the same part or much better.

Drummers...:rolleyes:

splatbass
02-23-2013, 05:06 PM
How could anyone give a drummer songwriting/ publishing credit? They get what the band feeds them or nothing at all.
Would you give the bassist equal songwriting credit for coming up with the idea of playing the root notes of a song you wrote?


You sound like someone that is not a bass player and doesn't understand bass playing. Take the bass line out of "Money" and see what you have. Take the bass line out of "The Joker" and see what you have. Take the bass line out of any funk song and see what you have. Or Motown, or blues, or any other type of music. There are thousands of songs that would suck balls without the bass line. When you see the girls on the dance floor shaking their butts they are shaking them to the bass. The bass creates the groove, with the drummer. Those are the two essential pieces of a band. The greatest guitar player in the world would sound like shit with a bad drummer or bass player.

Brock
02-23-2013, 05:09 PM
Sabbath did the same thing to Bill Ward.

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 05:18 PM
You sound like someone that is not a bass player and doesn't understand bass playing. Take the bass line out of "Money" and see what you have. Take the bass line out of "The Joker" and see what you have. Take the bass line out of any funk song and see what you have. Or Motown, or blues, or any other type of music. There are thousands of songs that would suck balls without the bass line. When you see the girls on the dance floor shaking their butts they are shaking them to the bass. The bass creates the groove, with the drummer. Those are the two essential pieces of a band. The greatest guitar player in the world would sound like shit with a bad drummer or bass player.

I said "Would you give the bassist equal songwriting credit for coming up with the idea of playing the root notes of a song you wrote?"

If we're talking Flea or Les Claypool you might have an argument because they're likely to add creativity to what was originally written to the point that it changes the song. When we start talking John Entwhistle there's still an argument but when we start talking Rick Savage from Def Leppard the argument goes out the window.
The vast majority of "bassists" in this world are in it for the pussy and are fucking useless.
It's a shame because the bass can be so powerful.

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 05:19 PM
Sabbath did the same thing to Bill Ward.

And they should have.

splatbass
02-23-2013, 05:21 PM
I said "Would you give the bassist equal songwriting credit for coming up with the idea of playing the root notes of a song you wrote?"

If we're talking Flea or Les Claypool you might have an argument because they're likely to add creativity to what was originally written to the point that it changes the song. When we start talking John Entwhistle there's still an argument but when we start talking Rick Savage from Def Leppard the argument goes out the window.
The vast majority of "bassists" in this world are in it for the pussy and are ****ing useless.
It's a shame because the bass can be so powerful.

As a professional musician for more than 30 years, including as a bass player, I can tell you you don't know shit about it.

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 05:30 PM
As a professional musician for more than 30 years, including as a bass player, I can tell you you don't know shit about it.

Care to explain? I'm curious since you have yet to argue a single point related to this thread.
BTW- please don't assume I'm ignorant. I can play bass better than Rick Savage on his best day, (that's not saying much). I've also met a man on the street who has played the kazoo through his nose professionally for 43 years.

splatbass
02-23-2013, 05:40 PM
Care to explain? I'm curious since you have yet to argue a single point related to this thread.
BTW- please don't assume I'm ignorant. I can play bass better than Rick Savage on his best day, (that's not saying much). I've also met a man on the street who has played the kazoo through his nose professionally for 43 years.

I explained in my first post. Not my fault if you don't understand.

Bass has been my main instrument for several decades. I've played classic rock, alternative, metal, punk, blues, jazz, Motown, funk, country and pretty much every other form of popular music you can think of in that time. Bass is an essential part of all of that music. It creates the groove that makes a style what it is. I can literally change the feel of a song by playing a different bass line.

And about the only styles that routinely play only on the root as you said are punk and some metal. Even Rick Savage doesn't just play on the root, although you are correct, he isn't a great bass player.

Now I'm off my soapbox.

One more thing, you can't always tell how good a bass player is by their recorded bass lines. A good bass player plays for the song. Sometimes that means keeping it simple, because that is what works for the music. Michael Anthony is a much better bass player than he appears to be listening to Van Halen, because in VH he plays it simple to keep out of Eddie's way. That it the job of the bass, to support the song.

-King-
02-23-2013, 05:41 PM
I laughed out loud at the "telling Brian hes fired part" LMAO
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Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 05:51 PM
I explained in my first post. Not my fault if you don't understand.

Bass has been my main instrument for several decades. I've played classic rock, alternative, metal, punk, blues, jazz, Motown, funk, country and pretty much every other form of popular music you can think of in that time. Bass is an essential part of all of that music. It creates the groove that makes a style what it is. I can literally change the feel of a song by playing a different bass line.

And about the only styles that routinely play only on the root as you said are punk and some metal. Even Rick Savage doesn't just play on the root, although you are correct, he isn't a great bass player.

Now I'm off my soapbox.

The question I have: Would you expect to songwriting/ publishing money from the work you do when you weren't a contributor to the original chord progression, melody or lyrics or would you accept a standard playing fee along with an equal division of touring money.
P.S. - I know there's no such thing as an original chord progression these days but you catch my drift.

Spott
02-23-2013, 05:54 PM
I used to listen to Slayer all the time. I haven't heard any of their albums since Seasons in the Abyss, though. I didn't realize they were still a band.

splatbass
02-23-2013, 05:56 PM
The question I have: Would you expect to songwriting/ publishing money from the work you do when you weren't a contributor to the original chord progression, melody or lyrics or would you accept a standard playing fee along with an equal division of touring money.
P.S. - I know there's no such thing as an original chord progression these days but you catch my drift.

That depends on the agreement between band members. Some bands give equal songwriting credits to all members regardless of input, others go by who actually wrote. It is a contract issue, not a music issue.

Led Zeppelin shared credit. Lennon and McCartney agreed to have both names on their Beatles songs regardless of which one actually wrote it. Other bands don't do it that way.

Tombstone RJ
02-23-2013, 05:57 PM
How could anyone give a drummer songwriting/ publishing credit? They get what the band feeds them or nothing at all.
Would you give the bassist equal songwriting credit for coming up with the idea of playing the root notes of a song you wrote?
Unless the "player" puts a spin on a song that changes the dynamic of what was originally written they don't deserve a penny and are expendable.
If you muted the drum track of the majority of Slayer songs you wouldn't notice a huge difference. Plus, you could find any number of session drummers that could play the same part or much better.

Drummers...:rolleyes:

There's a huge difference between song writing and song recording. If Lombardo did indeed "write" or "help write" the music, including the lyrics, then he absolutely deserves credit and compensation. If he was just handed the music (based on someone else laying it out or writing it) and then he played according to the direction of the band, that is, he didn't really add anything or change anything then you are correct.

A band like Credence Clearwater Revival got all their music and direction from one guy--John Fogerty. He wrote the music, he played lead guitar, he fronted the band and he was the lead singer. Most bands aren't like this.

For example Fleetwood Mac had several members writing music and bringing the music in to be recorded. Different members of the band brought in their music with the lyrics, and the others basically said "yes, let's do it" or "no, let's not record this song." It was way more collaborative.

I'm not a big Slayer fan so I don't know who the main influences are in the songs. However Lombardo is an original member so he's probably got some kind of legitimate beef as to why he's not making as much as some of the other guys in the band. Especially if he helped write the music and helped define Slayer's style in the early days due to his creative influence. Did he help with lyrics? Did he help with the format of the songs? Did he help when producing the music? Was he in the studio and there when the tracks were being cut, did he have a say about that? Etc.,

Ace Gunner
02-23-2013, 06:01 PM
The question I have: Would you expect to songwriting/ publishing money from the work you do when you weren't a contributor to the original chord progression, melody or lyrics or would you accept a standard playing fee along with an equal division of touring money.
P.S. - I know there's no such thing as an original chord progression these days but you catch my drift.

JFC does a drummer even play in the shit you think is metal.

KCUnited
02-23-2013, 06:10 PM
Raining Blood cover sans bass. Seemed appropriate.

<iframe width="400" height="100" style="position: relative; display: block; width: 400px; height: 100px;" src="http://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/v=2/album=1972284561/size=venti/bgcol=FFFFFF/linkcol=4285BB/" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0"><a href="http://eddiebrockmd.bandcamp.com/album/raining-blood">Raining Blood by Eddie Brock</a></iframe>

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 06:35 PM
JFC does a drummer even play in the shit you think is metal.

I've heard many amazing drummers in metal. Vinny Paul is probably my favorite.
These days it seems like drummers are becoming more dispensable with the technology that's available in even the lowest grade of studio.
Look at Chris Adler from Lamb of God. He could probably be replaced by Richard Christie over the course of a week or so.
In this time and age Drummers are replaceable. A good/creative bass player is far more rare.

Spott
02-23-2013, 07:07 PM
FWIW, Lombardo was an awesome drummer. His musical talent stood out to me more than the rest of the band's.

Gadzooks
02-23-2013, 07:37 PM
There's a huge difference between song writing and song recording. If Lombardo did indeed "write" or "help write" the music, including the lyrics, then he absolutely deserves credit and compensation. If he was just handed the music (based on someone else laying it out or writing it) and then he played according to the direction of the band, that is, he didn't really add anything or change anything then you are correct.

A band like Credence Clearwater Revival got all their music and direction from one guy--John Fogerty. He wrote the music, he played lead guitar, he fronted the band and he was the lead singer. Most bands aren't like this.

For example Fleetwood Mac had several members writing music and bringing the music in to be recorded. Different members of the band brought in their music with the lyrics, and the others basically said "yes, let's do it" or "no, let's not record this song." It was way more collaborative.

I'm not a big Slayer fan so I don't know who the main influences are in the songs. However Lombardo is an original member so he's probably got some kind of legitimate beef as to why he's not making as much as some of the other guys in the band. Especially if he helped write the music and helped define Slayer's style in the early days due to his creative influence. Did he help with lyrics? Did he help with the format of the songs? Did he help when producing the music? Was he in the studio and there when the tracks were being cut, did he have a say about that? Etc.,

So we agree.:)
Most drummers think the final product is at least partially a result of their "creative" input from their percussive instruments.
Drummers...:rolleyes:

Very few Drummers actually contribute to the fundamental components of songwriting. Those who do are paid. Those who don't demand that they're paid.

Ace Gunner
02-23-2013, 07:55 PM
I've heard many amazing drummers in metal. Vinny Paul is probably my favorite.
These days it seems like drummers are becoming more dispensable with the technology that's available in even the lowest grade of studio.
Look at Chris Adler from Lamb of God. He could probably be replaced by Richard Christie over the course of a week or so.
In this time and age Drummers are replaceable. A good/creative bass player is far more rare.

ya. sure. no.

Ace Gunner
02-23-2013, 07:56 PM
As a professional musician for more than 30 years, including as a bass player, I can tell you you don't know shit about it.

this :D