View Full Version : Misc I need a slogan for hand safety
In58men
04-09-2013, 08:09 AM
They're doing a contest at work on hand safety. Whoever comes up with the best slogan can win $25, $75, $100 and $1000.
I will bump a couple times today for more inputs. Thanks in advance.
Whatcha got?
If I win the $1000 from one of the selections here at CP I will personally send that individual a $100 for their help.
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:11 AM
GOT SAFETY? I GOT handSOME!
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:11 AM
GOT SAFETY? I GOT handSOME!
Okay that was so lame. This coffee isn't working right.
Mr_Tomahawk
04-09-2013, 08:14 AM
HAND+JOB=WINS
JOB-HAND=BLOWS
KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:14 AM
A Foolish Hand Can Bring About A Little Finger
KC-TBB
04-09-2013, 08:15 AM
Things harder to do without fingers:
pick your nose, use your phone, bowl, give wife a shocker...
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:15 AM
Things harder to do without fingers:
pick your nose, use your phone, bowl, give wife a shocker...
Finger puppies.. Etc
loochy
04-09-2013, 08:16 AM
GIVE US A HAND
with keeping you safe
*more details about your safety program go here in smaller letters*
mdchiefsfan
04-09-2013, 08:16 AM
A Foolish Hand Can Bring About A Little Finger
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS41bVy4J5CnIlxF19nnqPAyvoqBghs1S2LuIfuiscrGR_SfWJD
big nasty kcnut
04-09-2013, 08:18 AM
hands off before you get your hands cut off.
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:20 AM
Get a handle on things before you end up with a bloody grip.
KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:21 AM
We Nemo Hand Safety
Deberg_1990
04-09-2013, 08:22 AM
Hand Jobs = Safe sex!
In58men
04-09-2013, 08:24 AM
OP updated.
Keep them coming.
blaise
04-09-2013, 08:24 AM
Two hands enter. Two hands leave.
blaise
04-09-2013, 08:26 AM
Talk to the hand. Tell it to be careful.
Imon Yourside
04-09-2013, 08:29 AM
Don't lose your hand, you can't clap with one.
Imon Yourside
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
Keep your hands safe, prosthetics are a bitch to get used too!
Canofbier
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
HAND SAFETY IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS INMEM'S THREADS ARE BAD
Fritz88
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
Lube it or lose it.
In58men
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
HAND SAFETY IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS INMEM'S THREADS ARE BAD
That's hurtful.
Frazod
04-09-2013, 08:40 AM
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FzwqxBq2qkM/T5s-Pgau8UI/AAAAAAAADAM/0-pWXzf9EKI/s1600/Aliens-Hudson's-reaction-to-knife-trick.png
Phobia
04-09-2013, 08:40 AM
Dried blood and cartilage mucks up the machines. Keep our machines efficient and clean, please.
Phobia
04-09-2013, 08:41 AM
If I win the $1000 from one of the selections here at CP I will personally send that individual a $100 for their help.
Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.
loochy
04-09-2013, 08:42 AM
Get a HANDle on the situation - practice safe hand procedures (or something like that)
ChiTown
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.
LOL. I was thinking the same thing. That should be 50-50, minimum.
KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Good Defense Prevents A Handoff
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Talk to the hand. Tell it to be careful.
something cooler likes this
LoneWolf
04-09-2013, 08:45 AM
Get a grip on hand safety.
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:46 AM
Handing you safe tips while they're still attached!
tooge
04-09-2013, 08:47 AM
Your hands....don't fuck em up
tooge
04-09-2013, 08:49 AM
Safety is Handy
this is your job, not a hand job
Ace Gunner
04-09-2013, 08:49 AM
plastic hand sucks
http://www.swisswuff.ch/images/wilmer/wilmer-system.jpg
tooge
04-09-2013, 08:50 AM
got hands?
tooge
04-09-2013, 08:50 AM
It's hard to jerk off with only one hand. Be safe.
The Rick
04-09-2013, 08:53 AM
Hand Safety: Your Hairy Palms Do Not Make You Invulnerable
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:58 AM
got hands?
Adding to yours..
Got hands?
Good. Keep it that way.
KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:59 AM
Safety, Hands Down The Most Important Decision You'll Make
Frazod
04-09-2013, 09:00 AM
Don't get Stumped-Be Safe!
Aries Walker
04-09-2013, 09:01 AM
Pause for paws: Stop and think about hand safety.
KCUnited
04-09-2013, 09:02 AM
Don't get Stumped-Be Safe!
On a poster of Jim Abbot and Chubb's from Happy Gilmore.
DaKCMan AP
04-09-2013, 09:06 AM
Follow plans to protect your hands.
This post was brought to you by the DaKCMan_AP is Awesome for Hands Safety Association.
lcarus
04-09-2013, 09:08 AM
Safety is Handy
this is your job, not a hand job
Safety is Handy was what I thought. Pretty good.
In58men
04-09-2013, 09:11 AM
Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.
I will start a poll with a top 3. You have my word.
Hog's Gone Fishin
04-09-2013, 09:12 AM
No hands .
No Bacon.
mdchiefsfan
04-09-2013, 09:13 AM
If you don't respect your hands then fuck you!
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:16 AM
Playing it safe can be a handful, but its finger-lickin' worth it.
ptlyon
04-09-2013, 09:16 AM
Red on the head like a dick on a poodle.
Has nothing to do with hands, but makes a person stop & think doesn't it?
stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:18 AM
Keep your hands to yourself!
Ace Gunner
04-09-2013, 09:20 AM
safety first -- no hands down
ptlyon
04-09-2013, 09:21 AM
Think hand safety - you may need that finger on the way home
stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:22 AM
Keep your hands where you can see them!
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:23 AM
Keep all hands and feet inside the ride at all times.
stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:24 AM
Hands on! hands off! The handler!
loochy
04-09-2013, 09:25 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something
tooge
04-09-2013, 09:26 AM
Be safe. You don't want to end up like this: or do you?
KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:30 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something
My second favorite so far.
In58men
04-09-2013, 09:36 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something
They closed it. I think our safety guy is in some shit though. He made me take a drug test and fill out a report. He assumed he didn't have to because he was safety. Out here when there's a incident all parties involved are required for drug testing.
blaise
04-09-2013, 09:37 AM
Throw your hands in the air. But don't wave them like you just don't care.
blaise
04-09-2013, 09:41 AM
Keep your hands where you can see them!
Attached to your wrists.
frankotank
04-09-2013, 09:57 AM
Safety. It's in your hands.
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:04 AM
Get a grip. Protect your hands.
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:05 AM
Protect your hands, you need them to pick up your pay check!
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:06 AM
Use your head, protect your hands.
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
WARNING! Crushed hands or missing fingers may affect your golf swing.
bevischief
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
You can't high five without your hand.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
Keep your fingers safe. You may need to count to ten someday.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:10 AM
Hooked on hand safety.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHSatoMqs7Ay8evYpqQqlRd6YHK8CdGMv2BRwwsT_Cikq_BjcjvQ
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:12 AM
If you lose a finger, don't go pointing at us. We promote hand safety.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:13 AM
Protect your hands. Your thumb is the only thing that differentiates you from an ape.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:13 AM
If you lose a hand, you won't get severance pay.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:14 AM
Clap if you practice hand safety.
Bang your hook against a pipe if you don't.
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:25 AM
Defending digits = healthy hands
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:26 AM
How about a series of posters that blatantly steal copyrighted images?
Don't be Luke Skywalker.
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRHVM7RO5950Tpdb3_-aPYCt1wIElAsyWksMPjFW92C1GGKXjD4Q
Don't be Captain Hook.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUz01XhuWsHDBnbxyjXDbl1-i4xhr1eW_4JMpwLJG2fSxlyg_S
And maybe some other people with missing digits.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:27 AM
By the way, I had no idea that Deke Slayton was missing a finger. That's kind of amazing for an astronaut. And Radar O'Reilly? Yeltsin was missing two fingers? This slide show is kind of astonishing.
http://www.who2.com/common-bonds/celebs-missing-fingers/gary-burghoff
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:32 AM
Safety, it's at your fingertips.
In58men
04-09-2013, 10:39 AM
Got some good ones. Keep'em comin'.
lcarus
04-09-2013, 10:40 AM
Hooked on hand safety.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHSatoMqs7Ay8evYpqQqlRd6YHK8CdGMv2BRwwsT_Cikq_BjcjvQ
I like it. :thumb:
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:41 AM
We offer a five finger discount on hand safety.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:42 AM
You're not Ronnie Lott. Keep your fingers.
Dartgod
04-09-2013, 10:45 AM
How about a series of posters that blatantly steal copyrighted images?
Don't be Luke Skywalker.
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRHVM7RO5950Tpdb3_-aPYCt1wIElAsyWksMPjFW92C1GGKXjD4Q
Don't be Captain Hook.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUz01XhuWsHDBnbxyjXDbl1-i4xhr1eW_4JMpwLJG2fSxlyg_S
And maybe some other people with missing digits.
There was a scene in "Escape From Alcatraz" where the old guy gets his painting privileges taken away, so he chops off his own fingers with a hatchet.
Don't be like that guy.
MTG#10
04-09-2013, 10:45 AM
How are you gonna rape someone without hands? Safety First.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:48 AM
As an unrelated story, a long-ago former coworker of mine once said that he knew a family with three brothers who all lost hands in corn harvesters or whatever they're called.
The first one I can understand. The second one? Questionable. But if you're that third brother you have no excuse.
stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:49 AM
pockets? we don't need no stinkin pockets!
stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:50 AM
As an unrelated story, a long-ago former coworker of mine once said that he knew a family with three brothers who all lost hands in corn harvesters or whatever they're called.
The first one I can understand. The second one? Questionable. But if you're that third brother you have no excuse.
buuuut maaaaaaaaa, billy and jimmy got to do it!
RedDread
04-09-2013, 10:52 AM
I'm not reading this whole thread so sorry if Q.
What is the sound of one hand clapping? Don't find out.
kappa72202
04-09-2013, 10:58 AM
A bird in the hand is worth.....your life!
stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:58 AM
tickle our fancy, keep your hands safe
frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:59 AM
Simple safety - healthy hands
stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:59 AM
soup through a straw is no way to go through life, son.
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 11:18 AM
Here's the church, here's the steeple, don't open the doors and be missing your people.
blaise
04-09-2013, 11:21 AM
Take care of your hands, or I'll give you a knuckle sandwich.
Digits....a terrible thing to waste.
One, Two, Three, Four, I declare a....oh sorry never mind.
stevieray
04-09-2013, 11:23 AM
don't make your knuckles do the walking
Stay Handsome...keep them both.
Pair of tits....pair of hands...coincidence? We think not, keep your gropers safe.
You aren't saving us money only needing one glove, they come in pairs!
stevieray
04-09-2013, 11:27 AM
slap happy!
frankotank
04-09-2013, 11:46 AM
Hands are good m'kay.
'cause if you don't have hands....well that's bad. M'kay.
http://karenjlloyd.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/mkay-song-300x174.jpg
clyde05
04-09-2013, 12:40 PM
Quality and Safety go hand in hand
clyde05
04-09-2013, 12:42 PM
Where danger lingers, watch your fingers!
CrazyPhuD
04-09-2013, 12:44 PM
Two hands are better than one!
Either that or....
Give yourself a hand....just say no to sexual harassment!
bevischief
04-09-2013, 03:41 PM
Don't be known as lefty.
loochy
04-09-2013, 03:45 PM
LET'S MAKE A STAND
PROTECT YOUR HAND
Beef Supreme
04-09-2013, 03:52 PM
Aloha, Mr. Hand.
bevischief
04-09-2013, 03:55 PM
You can't self pleasure without fingers.
CrazyPhuD
04-09-2013, 04:06 PM
You should do a sequence of posters/vids titled.....'Deep thoughts by Jack Handless'
Talisman
04-09-2013, 04:19 PM
Safety: A good thing to have at your fingertips.
Have a winning hand - Go all in for hand safety.
Take safety matters into your own hands.
dannybcaitlyn
04-09-2013, 04:25 PM
This is the one they preach to us at work "Bands Cut Hands" Which is very true, especially packages with the metal straps.
In58men
04-09-2013, 04:30 PM
Have a winning hand - Go all in for hand safety
Well done my friend. Definitely a top choice.
Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:30 PM
dont end up like me, motherfuckers
http://i49.tinypic.com/5xlehf.jpg
In58men
04-09-2013, 04:31 PM
Quality and Safety go hand in hand
I like it.
Poll coming soon.
Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:33 PM
If you d'ont careful, you wo'nt masturbation
Pneuma
04-09-2013, 04:38 PM
Lose a hand, collect unemployment.
Your wife will leave you, take your children, and half of all of your possessions. You will pay for the divorce, alimony, and child support. Don't loose a hand.
lost a hand. armed a girl
stay handy
Doctors can replace fingers...sometimes
Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:40 PM
Hand - The other pink meat
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Srz8eCRXfDw/SeNct-IA1AI/AAAAAAAAABo/oLnQlSGFit4/s320/Mangled+hand2.jpg
In58men
04-09-2013, 04:42 PM
Hand - The other pink meat
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Srz8eCRXfDw/SeNct-IA1AI/AAAAAAAAABo/oLnQlSGFit4/s320/Mangled+hand2.jpg
Quick grab a band-aid.
Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:46 PM
Fuck Hand Safety
http://stopcuttingcorners.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Duane_hand_injury.jpg
R8RFAN
04-09-2013, 04:55 PM
'it's hard to masturbate without your hands"
Rain Man
04-09-2013, 05:16 PM
This is the one they preach to us at work "Bands Cut Hands" Which is very true, especially packages with the metal straps.
This is true. I was once stabbed in the palm by a former member of Lynyrd Skynyrd.
LoneWolf
04-09-2013, 05:24 PM
dont end up like me, mother****ers
http://i49.tinypic.com/5xlehf.jpg
Holy fuck, that guy needed a hand safety and tooth safety slogan.
In58men
04-09-2013, 09:51 PM
Thanks for all the inputs. There was some pretty funny shit, unfortunately I have to be somewhat professional. Good job, please VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R8RFAN
04-10-2013, 01:21 AM
Protect Your Paws
Gonzo
04-10-2013, 01:48 AM
Hand safety is essential for communication. How else are you going to give Obama the finger?
KChiefer
04-10-2013, 02:20 AM
Lotion. Use it.
In58men
04-10-2013, 08:15 AM
VOTE!!!!!!!
Dave Lane
04-10-2013, 09:23 AM
How you gonna jackoff without any hands!
Perfect!
tooge
04-10-2013, 09:32 AM
VOTE!!!!!!!
you didn't pick mine so fuck you! I aint voting for shit.
ptlyon
04-10-2013, 09:46 AM
you didn't pick mine so **** you! I aint voting for shit.
Zactly. :harumph:
ptlyon
04-10-2013, 09:46 AM
And I might add, those are all gay
Earthling
04-10-2013, 10:29 AM
Hand Safety - Use it or lose it.
Am I too late for this party?
Iowanian
04-10-2013, 10:55 AM
Hand Safety. You can't beat it.
Then show a photo of someone with no thumbs doing something that demonstrates a subtle masturbation reference.
frankotank
04-10-2013, 11:20 AM
you didn't pick mine so **** you! I aint voting for shit.
Safety, it's at your fingertips
is simply badass. vote for that one! :evil:
tooge
04-10-2013, 12:03 PM
Hand Safety. You can't beat it.
Then show a photo of someone with no thumbs doing something that demonstrates a subtle masturbation reference.
that's a different safety sign.
Dick safety, you can't beat it.
Red Beans
04-10-2013, 12:17 PM
How about, "Don't be a mental midget, protect your digits!"
In58men
04-10-2013, 01:35 PM
Only 18 votes? WTF dudes
KurtCobain
04-10-2013, 01:39 PM
Only 18 votes? WTF dudes
You didn't use any of mine so fuck your poll.
Rudy tossed tigger's salad
04-10-2013, 01:42 PM
These options are terrible
Iowanian
04-10-2013, 02:34 PM
Keep your hand to touch your gland
Iowanian
04-10-2013, 02:35 PM
One has 1 hand and sucks at Guitar Hero?
This guy
Rain Man
04-10-2013, 03:10 PM
I voted, but it was despite the fact that you didn't use my "Hooked on Safety" slogan or my "Clap if you're safe, bang your hook on a pipe if you're not" slogan.
Rain Man
04-10-2013, 03:11 PM
Oh, how about this? "A hand on the wrist is worth two in the bushings."
R8RFAN
04-10-2013, 05:44 PM
You didn't use any of mine so **** your poll.
I pretty much feel this way
frankotank
04-12-2013, 02:43 PM
the best is "safety it's at your fingertips"
hell the sumbitch is even in italics.
Ace Gunner
04-12-2013, 02:48 PM
hands down the worst choices
LoneWolf
04-19-2013, 07:44 PM
Did you win the money with my suggestion? I want my 100 bucks.
LiveSteam
04-20-2013, 12:51 AM
Inmen58
:shrug:
bevischief
04-20-2013, 04:10 AM
winner, winner chicken dinner. what won?
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