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View Full Version : Misc I need a slogan for hand safety


In58men
04-09-2013, 08:09 AM
They're doing a contest at work on hand safety. Whoever comes up with the best slogan can win $25, $75, $100 and $1000.

I will bump a couple times today for more inputs. Thanks in advance.


Whatcha got?


If I win the $1000 from one of the selections here at CP I will personally send that individual a $100 for their help.

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:11 AM
GOT SAFETY? I GOT handSOME!

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:11 AM
GOT SAFETY? I GOT handSOME!

Okay that was so lame. This coffee isn't working right.

Mr_Tomahawk
04-09-2013, 08:14 AM
HAND+JOB=WINS

JOB-HAND=BLOWS

KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:14 AM
A Foolish Hand Can Bring About A Little Finger

KC-TBB
04-09-2013, 08:15 AM
Things harder to do without fingers:
pick your nose, use your phone, bowl, give wife a shocker...

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:15 AM
Things harder to do without fingers:
pick your nose, use your phone, bowl, give wife a shocker...

Finger puppies.. Etc

loochy
04-09-2013, 08:16 AM
GIVE US A HAND
with keeping you safe

*more details about your safety program go here in smaller letters*

mdchiefsfan
04-09-2013, 08:16 AM
A Foolish Hand Can Bring About A Little Finger

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS41bVy4J5CnIlxF19nnqPAyvoqBghs1S2LuIfuiscrGR_SfWJD

big nasty kcnut
04-09-2013, 08:18 AM
hands off before you get your hands cut off.

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:20 AM
Get a handle on things before you end up with a bloody grip.

KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:21 AM
We Nemo Hand Safety

Deberg_1990
04-09-2013, 08:22 AM
Hand Jobs = Safe sex!

In58men
04-09-2013, 08:24 AM
OP updated.



Keep them coming.

blaise
04-09-2013, 08:24 AM
Two hands enter. Two hands leave.

blaise
04-09-2013, 08:26 AM
Talk to the hand. Tell it to be careful.

Imon Yourside
04-09-2013, 08:29 AM
Don't lose your hand, you can't clap with one.

Imon Yourside
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
Keep your hands safe, prosthetics are a bitch to get used too!

Canofbier
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
HAND SAFETY IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS INMEM'S THREADS ARE BAD

Fritz88
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
Lube it or lose it.

In58men
04-09-2013, 08:32 AM
HAND SAFETY IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS INMEM'S THREADS ARE BAD

That's hurtful.

Frazod
04-09-2013, 08:40 AM
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FzwqxBq2qkM/T5s-Pgau8UI/AAAAAAAADAM/0-pWXzf9EKI/s1600/Aliens-Hudson's-reaction-to-knife-trick.png

Phobia
04-09-2013, 08:40 AM
Dried blood and cartilage mucks up the machines. Keep our machines efficient and clean, please.

Phobia
04-09-2013, 08:41 AM
If I win the $1000 from one of the selections here at CP I will personally send that individual a $100 for their help.

Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.

loochy
04-09-2013, 08:42 AM
Get a HANDle on the situation - practice safe hand procedures (or something like that)

ChiTown
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.

LOL. I was thinking the same thing. That should be 50-50, minimum.

KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Good Defense Prevents A Handoff

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:43 AM
Talk to the hand. Tell it to be careful.

something cooler likes this

LoneWolf
04-09-2013, 08:45 AM
Get a grip on hand safety.

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:46 AM
Handing you safe tips while they're still attached!

tooge
04-09-2013, 08:47 AM
Your hands....don't fuck em up

tooge
04-09-2013, 08:49 AM
Safety is Handy
this is your job, not a hand job

Ace Gunner
04-09-2013, 08:49 AM
plastic hand sucks
http://www.swisswuff.ch/images/wilmer/wilmer-system.jpg

tooge
04-09-2013, 08:50 AM
got hands?

tooge
04-09-2013, 08:50 AM
It's hard to jerk off with only one hand. Be safe.

The Rick
04-09-2013, 08:53 AM
Hand Safety: Your Hairy Palms Do Not Make You Invulnerable

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 08:58 AM
got hands?
Adding to yours..

Got hands?

Good. Keep it that way.

KCUnited
04-09-2013, 08:59 AM
Safety, Hands Down The Most Important Decision You'll Make

Frazod
04-09-2013, 09:00 AM
Don't get Stumped-Be Safe!

Aries Walker
04-09-2013, 09:01 AM
Pause for paws: Stop and think about hand safety.

KCUnited
04-09-2013, 09:02 AM
Don't get Stumped-Be Safe!

On a poster of Jim Abbot and Chubb's from Happy Gilmore.

DaKCMan AP
04-09-2013, 09:06 AM
Follow plans to protect your hands.


This post was brought to you by the DaKCMan_AP is Awesome for Hands Safety Association.

lcarus
04-09-2013, 09:08 AM
Safety is Handy
this is your job, not a hand job

Safety is Handy was what I thought. Pretty good.

In58men
04-09-2013, 09:11 AM
Really? We get 10% for all the work? This sounds like it's almost too good to be true.

I will start a poll with a top 3. You have my word.

Hog's Gone Fishin
04-09-2013, 09:12 AM
No hands .
No Bacon.

mdchiefsfan
04-09-2013, 09:13 AM
If you don't respect your hands then fuck you!

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:16 AM
Playing it safe can be a handful, but its finger-lickin' worth it.

ptlyon
04-09-2013, 09:16 AM
Red on the head like a dick on a poodle.

Has nothing to do with hands, but makes a person stop & think doesn't it?

stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:18 AM
Keep your hands to yourself!

Ace Gunner
04-09-2013, 09:20 AM
safety first -- no hands down

ptlyon
04-09-2013, 09:21 AM
Think hand safety - you may need that finger on the way home

stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:22 AM
Keep your hands where you can see them!

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:23 AM
Keep all hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

stevieray
04-09-2013, 09:24 AM
Hands on! hands off! The handler!

loochy
04-09-2013, 09:25 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something

tooge
04-09-2013, 09:26 AM
Be safe. You don't want to end up like this: or do you?

KurtCobain
04-09-2013, 09:30 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something

My second favorite so far.

In58men
04-09-2013, 09:36 AM
I thought you got fired for crashing a truck and failing a drug test or something

They closed it. I think our safety guy is in some shit though. He made me take a drug test and fill out a report. He assumed he didn't have to because he was safety. Out here when there's a incident all parties involved are required for drug testing.

blaise
04-09-2013, 09:37 AM
Throw your hands in the air. But don't wave them like you just don't care.

blaise
04-09-2013, 09:41 AM
Keep your hands where you can see them!

Attached to your wrists.

frankotank
04-09-2013, 09:57 AM
Safety. It's in your hands.

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:04 AM
Get a grip. Protect your hands.

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:05 AM
Protect your hands, you need them to pick up your pay check!

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:06 AM
Use your head, protect your hands.

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
WARNING! Crushed hands or missing fingers may affect your golf swing.

bevischief
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
You can't high five without your hand.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:08 AM
Keep your fingers safe. You may need to count to ten someday.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:10 AM
Hooked on hand safety.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHSatoMqs7Ay8evYpqQqlRd6YHK8CdGMv2BRwwsT_Cikq_BjcjvQ

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:12 AM
If you lose a finger, don't go pointing at us. We promote hand safety.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:13 AM
Protect your hands. Your thumb is the only thing that differentiates you from an ape.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:13 AM
If you lose a hand, you won't get severance pay.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:14 AM
Clap if you practice hand safety.
Bang your hook against a pipe if you don't.

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:25 AM
Defending digits = healthy hands

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:26 AM
How about a series of posters that blatantly steal copyrighted images?

Don't be Luke Skywalker.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRHVM7RO5950Tpdb3_-aPYCt1wIElAsyWksMPjFW92C1GGKXjD4Q

Don't be Captain Hook.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUz01XhuWsHDBnbxyjXDbl1-i4xhr1eW_4JMpwLJG2fSxlyg_S

And maybe some other people with missing digits.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:27 AM
By the way, I had no idea that Deke Slayton was missing a finger. That's kind of amazing for an astronaut. And Radar O'Reilly? Yeltsin was missing two fingers? This slide show is kind of astonishing.

http://www.who2.com/common-bonds/celebs-missing-fingers/gary-burghoff

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:32 AM
Safety, it's at your fingertips.

In58men
04-09-2013, 10:39 AM
Got some good ones. Keep'em comin'.

lcarus
04-09-2013, 10:40 AM
Hooked on hand safety.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHSatoMqs7Ay8evYpqQqlRd6YHK8CdGMv2BRwwsT_Cikq_BjcjvQ

I like it. :thumb:

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:41 AM
We offer a five finger discount on hand safety.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:42 AM
You're not Ronnie Lott. Keep your fingers.

Dartgod
04-09-2013, 10:45 AM
How about a series of posters that blatantly steal copyrighted images?

Don't be Luke Skywalker.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRRHVM7RO5950Tpdb3_-aPYCt1wIElAsyWksMPjFW92C1GGKXjD4Q

Don't be Captain Hook.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUz01XhuWsHDBnbxyjXDbl1-i4xhr1eW_4JMpwLJG2fSxlyg_S

And maybe some other people with missing digits.

There was a scene in "Escape From Alcatraz" where the old guy gets his painting privileges taken away, so he chops off his own fingers with a hatchet.

Don't be like that guy.

MTG#10
04-09-2013, 10:45 AM
How are you gonna rape someone without hands? Safety First.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 10:48 AM
As an unrelated story, a long-ago former coworker of mine once said that he knew a family with three brothers who all lost hands in corn harvesters or whatever they're called.

The first one I can understand. The second one? Questionable. But if you're that third brother you have no excuse.

stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:49 AM
pockets? we don't need no stinkin pockets!

stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:50 AM
As an unrelated story, a long-ago former coworker of mine once said that he knew a family with three brothers who all lost hands in corn harvesters or whatever they're called.

The first one I can understand. The second one? Questionable. But if you're that third brother you have no excuse.
buuuut maaaaaaaaa, billy and jimmy got to do it!

RedDread
04-09-2013, 10:52 AM
I'm not reading this whole thread so sorry if Q.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? Don't find out.

kappa72202
04-09-2013, 10:58 AM
A bird in the hand is worth.....your life!

stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:58 AM
tickle our fancy, keep your hands safe

frankotank
04-09-2013, 10:59 AM
Simple safety - healthy hands

stevieray
04-09-2013, 10:59 AM
soup through a straw is no way to go through life, son.

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 11:18 AM
Here's the church, here's the steeple, don't open the doors and be missing your people.

blaise
04-09-2013, 11:21 AM
Take care of your hands, or I'll give you a knuckle sandwich.

WV
04-09-2013, 11:22 AM
Digits....a terrible thing to waste.

WV
04-09-2013, 11:23 AM
One, Two, Three, Four, I declare a....oh sorry never mind.

stevieray
04-09-2013, 11:23 AM
don't make your knuckles do the walking

WV
04-09-2013, 11:24 AM
Stay Handsome...keep them both.

WV
04-09-2013, 11:25 AM
Pair of tits....pair of hands...coincidence? We think not, keep your gropers safe.

WV
04-09-2013, 11:26 AM
You aren't saving us money only needing one glove, they come in pairs!

WV
04-09-2013, 11:26 AM
All hands on for Safety!

stevieray
04-09-2013, 11:27 AM
slap happy!

frankotank
04-09-2013, 11:46 AM
Hands are good m'kay.
'cause if you don't have hands....well that's bad. M'kay.

http://karenjlloyd.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/mkay-song-300x174.jpg

clyde05
04-09-2013, 12:40 PM
Quality and Safety go hand in hand

clyde05
04-09-2013, 12:42 PM
Where danger lingers, watch your fingers!

CrazyPhuD
04-09-2013, 12:44 PM
Two hands are better than one!

Either that or....

Give yourself a hand....just say no to sexual harassment!

bevischief
04-09-2013, 03:41 PM
Don't be known as lefty.

loochy
04-09-2013, 03:45 PM
LET'S MAKE A STAND

PROTECT YOUR HAND

Beef Supreme
04-09-2013, 03:52 PM
Aloha, Mr. Hand.

bevischief
04-09-2013, 03:55 PM
You can't self pleasure without fingers.

CrazyPhuD
04-09-2013, 04:06 PM
You should do a sequence of posters/vids titled.....'Deep thoughts by Jack Handless'

Talisman
04-09-2013, 04:19 PM
Safety: A good thing to have at your fingertips.

Have a winning hand - Go all in for hand safety.

Take safety matters into your own hands.

dannybcaitlyn
04-09-2013, 04:25 PM
This is the one they preach to us at work "Bands Cut Hands" Which is very true, especially packages with the metal straps.

In58men
04-09-2013, 04:30 PM
Have a winning hand - Go all in for hand safety



Well done my friend. Definitely a top choice.

Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:30 PM
dont end up like me, motherfuckers

http://i49.tinypic.com/5xlehf.jpg

In58men
04-09-2013, 04:31 PM
Quality and Safety go hand in hand

I like it.


Poll coming soon.

Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:33 PM
If you d'ont careful, you wo'nt masturbation

Pneuma
04-09-2013, 04:38 PM
Lose a hand, collect unemployment.

Your wife will leave you, take your children, and half of all of your possessions. You will pay for the divorce, alimony, and child support. Don't loose a hand.

lost a hand. armed a girl

stay handy

Doctors can replace fingers...sometimes

Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:40 PM
Hand - The other pink meat

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Srz8eCRXfDw/SeNct-IA1AI/AAAAAAAAABo/oLnQlSGFit4/s320/Mangled+hand2.jpg

In58men
04-09-2013, 04:42 PM
Hand - The other pink meat

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Srz8eCRXfDw/SeNct-IA1AI/AAAAAAAAABo/oLnQlSGFit4/s320/Mangled+hand2.jpg

Quick grab a band-aid.

Ming the Merciless
04-09-2013, 04:46 PM
Fuck Hand Safety

http://stopcuttingcorners.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Duane_hand_injury.jpg

R8RFAN
04-09-2013, 04:55 PM
'it's hard to masturbate without your hands"

Rain Man
04-09-2013, 05:16 PM
This is the one they preach to us at work "Bands Cut Hands" Which is very true, especially packages with the metal straps.

This is true. I was once stabbed in the palm by a former member of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

LoneWolf
04-09-2013, 05:24 PM
dont end up like me, mother****ers

http://i49.tinypic.com/5xlehf.jpg

Holy fuck, that guy needed a hand safety and tooth safety slogan.

In58men
04-09-2013, 09:51 PM
Thanks for all the inputs. There was some pretty funny shit, unfortunately I have to be somewhat professional. Good job, please VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R8RFAN
04-10-2013, 01:21 AM
Protect Your Paws

Gonzo
04-10-2013, 01:48 AM
Hand safety is essential for communication. How else are you going to give Obama the finger?

KChiefer
04-10-2013, 02:20 AM
Lotion. Use it.

In58men
04-10-2013, 08:15 AM
VOTE!!!!!!!

Dave Lane
04-10-2013, 09:23 AM
How you gonna jackoff without any hands!

Perfect!

tooge
04-10-2013, 09:32 AM
VOTE!!!!!!!

you didn't pick mine so fuck you! I aint voting for shit.

ptlyon
04-10-2013, 09:46 AM
you didn't pick mine so **** you! I aint voting for shit.

Zactly. :harumph:

ptlyon
04-10-2013, 09:46 AM
And I might add, those are all gay

Earthling
04-10-2013, 10:29 AM
Hand Safety - Use it or lose it.

Am I too late for this party?

Iowanian
04-10-2013, 10:55 AM
Hand Safety. You can't beat it.

Then show a photo of someone with no thumbs doing something that demonstrates a subtle masturbation reference.

frankotank
04-10-2013, 11:20 AM
you didn't pick mine so **** you! I aint voting for shit.



Safety, it's at your fingertips

is simply badass. vote for that one! :evil:

tooge
04-10-2013, 12:03 PM
Hand Safety. You can't beat it.

Then show a photo of someone with no thumbs doing something that demonstrates a subtle masturbation reference.

that's a different safety sign.

Dick safety, you can't beat it.

Red Beans
04-10-2013, 12:17 PM
How about, "Don't be a mental midget, protect your digits!"

In58men
04-10-2013, 01:35 PM
Only 18 votes? WTF dudes

KurtCobain
04-10-2013, 01:39 PM
Only 18 votes? WTF dudes

You didn't use any of mine so fuck your poll.

Rudy tossed tigger's salad
04-10-2013, 01:42 PM
These options are terrible

Iowanian
04-10-2013, 02:34 PM
Keep your hand to touch your gland

Iowanian
04-10-2013, 02:35 PM
One has 1 hand and sucks at Guitar Hero?
This guy

Rain Man
04-10-2013, 03:10 PM
I voted, but it was despite the fact that you didn't use my "Hooked on Safety" slogan or my "Clap if you're safe, bang your hook on a pipe if you're not" slogan.

Rain Man
04-10-2013, 03:11 PM
Oh, how about this? "A hand on the wrist is worth two in the bushings."

R8RFAN
04-10-2013, 05:44 PM
You didn't use any of mine so **** your poll.

I pretty much feel this way

frankotank
04-12-2013, 02:43 PM
the best is "safety it's at your fingertips"
hell the sumbitch is even in italics.

Ace Gunner
04-12-2013, 02:48 PM
hands down the worst choices

LoneWolf
04-19-2013, 07:44 PM
Did you win the money with my suggestion? I want my 100 bucks.

LiveSteam
04-20-2013, 12:51 AM
Inmen58
:shrug:

bevischief
04-20-2013, 04:10 AM
winner, winner chicken dinner. what won?