The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read

[jAZ]

As one of the commentors said: a sorority-girl Ari Gold.

NSFW words, language. Hidden for the your safety.

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deranged-sorority-girl-email-you-will-ever-read

Here's the full email (with the author's name changed):

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough ****ing ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been ****ING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so ****ing AWKWARD and so ****ing BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to ****ing find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying ****, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying ****, about how much you ****ing love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the ****ing year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I ****ing repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not ****ing possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE ****ING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE ****ING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE ****ING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people ****ing retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE **** WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a **** if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do ****ing NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID ****ING ASS HATS, IT ****ING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW ****ING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN ****ING UP AT SOBER ****ING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being ****ing WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not ****ing funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. ****ing. Team. ARE YOU ****ING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU ****ING BLIND? Or are you just so ****ing dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE ****ING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR ****ING MATCHUP. I will ****ing **** punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a **** if you SOR me, I WILL ****ING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

I'm not ****ing kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not ****ing awkward than 80 that are ****ing pillowbitergots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't ****ing show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to ****ing God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a ****. Go **** yourself.

[In58men]

Bold the important parts please

[jAZ]

Bold the important parts please

Done.

[Prison Bitch]

Saw this earlier. Truly epic

[El Jefe]

tl;dr

[doomy3]

Did 'Hamas' write this letter?

[cosmo20002]

Chicks are nuts.

[Sorter]

Well, I expect to see a resignation soon.

[KCUnited]

Reminds me of the months leading up to the '09 draft.

[Saul Good]

She's got a point. Sigma Nu is pissed and rightfully so.

[Jenson71]

LMAO

I don't understand that culture, but it was funny.

[Rausch]

Chicks are nuts.

This...

[cosmo20002]

"I WILL ****ING ASSAULT YOU."

ROFL

[Jenson71]

She's got a point. Sigma Nu is pissed and rightfully so.

Did you see this coming?

[BourbonMan]

Is this Winstons sister? ROFL

[Hootie]

stupid

[Rausch]

This is waaAAAAAAAAaaaaay too long.

So what did she blow up or shoot?...

[Hammock Parties]

cliffs: our chapter is supposed to fuck that chapter, so slut it up, hoes

['Hamas' Jenkins]

For those of you who are wondering, I am an only child.

Furthermore, I hate sorostitutes.

[Tribal Warfare]

tl;dr

you should this is what draft day posts are going to look like concerning the organization as a whole.

[Predarat]

Thats gotta be Chrissy Teigen.

[Imon Yourside]

Reminds me of the months leading up to the '09 draft.

LMAO yup

[ptlyon]

stupid

No shit. Not once did she mention sucking any cock for entertaiment value

[Donger]

Sounds like Julia needs to masturbate.

[Hootie]

it's obviously a loser sorority who cares

[Hammock Parties]

Furthermore, I hate sorostitutes.

Expound.

[Fat Elvis]

I have the filter on; did she say " cunt punt "?

[Saul Good]

Did you see this coming?

Well yeah. I was playing ultimate frisbee on the quad with Brody Tyler and Tyler Brody the other day, and Brody was all, "dude", and Tyler was like, "bro". If you know Brody, you know how out of character that is for him. Ordinarily, he's so laid back. It was pretty obvious what was about to happen.

[Sorter]

I have the filter on; did she say " cunt punt "?

I believe so. LMAO

[BigCatDaddy]

Julia would make a fine addition to CP.

[Rausch]

Julia would make a fine addition to CP.

I dare say an inevitable addition to CP...

[Frazod]

I read it thinking of Jennifer Gray from Ferris Bueller. LMAO

[Buehler445]

I have the filter on; did she say " cunt punt "?

I love a good cunt punt.

http://images15.fotki.com/v2/photos/8/43338/7860216/cuntpuntdemotivationalposter-vi.jpg

[KChiefer]

Bring her in for a look?

[Hammock Parties]

That girl sounds like a good lay.

I'd like her to pen me a sexually aggressive email.

[Demonpenz]

woman in this country. spoiled

[jAZ]

I have the filter on; did she say " **** punt "?

c*nt punt

[Saul Good]

c*nt punt

Why can't she punt?

[Frazod]

That girl sounds like a good lay.

I'd like her to pen me a sexually aggressive email.

http://www.futuregamez.net/movies/ferrisbueller/ferrisbueller3.jpg

[blaise]

Feel bad for the poor sap that marries that rag.

[Fish]

How weird that some people put so much emotion into such insignificant petty shit...

[Rain Man]

I really, really want to see this woman haze the new recruits, because I think there must be some serious lesbian domination action going on in that starkly lit sorority house basement.

[Hammock Parties]

LMAO

My name is Rachel Norris and I am the current president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. It has been brought to my attention that you recently published an unsavory email that was sent out over my chapter's list-serve. Is it possible for you to either remove the article or just remove the names "Delta Gamma" and "Sigma Nu" from your article? This email absolutely does not reflect our chapter's values nor Sigma Nu's and any assistance you can give us is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Rachel Norris

[patteeu]

*censored*

Reported.

[DTLB58]

Feel bad for the poor sap that marries that rag.

This and I was gonna say, I hope she is never a mother and if she is I hope her daughter finds this to hold it for blackmail someday. ROFL

[58-4ever]

Depending on her feelings about Geno Smith, she'd be a solid poster here. Bring her in for a look? :hmmm:

[Saul Good]

I really, really want to see this woman haze the new recruits, because I think there must be some serious lesbian domination action going on in that starkly lit sorority house basement.

Not sure if the last five words of your post are a euphemism...

[Hammock Parties]

Apparently this is the quality of ass running around in Delta Gamma. I can see the need to pander to Sigma Nu boys...

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/625567_10151363287657197_1542552296_n.jpg

[wazu]

I actually didn't think this was that bad.

[KCUnited]

Future coach for the Missouri State Lady Bears.

[Lumpy]

Crazy bitch is crazy.

[DTLB58]

I really, really want to see this woman haze the new recruits, because I think there must be some serious lesbian domination action going on in that starkly lit sorority house basement.

I'm thinking its already on the Internet if you just know the right site to go to. :eek:

[Hammock Parties]

I want to hear De Niro or Pacino read this letter. God I want it so bad.

[Fish]

Feel bad for the poor sap that marries that rag.

You just know some poor dude has or will approach that and say to himself "Nice ass. She can't be that crazy."

[Saul Good]

LMAO

I'm guessing the reply was something along the lines of "tits or GTFO".

[TLO]

She needs to get laid. I think we should volunteer someone from the planet.

[siberian khatru]

That's not very ladylike.

[DTLB58]

How weird that some people put so much emotion into such insignificant petty shit...

Same could be said about some of the rants here that go on for pages and pages over decisions we have no control over and things that haven't even happened yet, nor may never happen. :D

[jAZ]

Reported.

Really? For what?

[crossbow]

Say hello to your future Democratic presidential campaign manager.

[DTLB58]

That's not very ladylike.

So you are saying she is NOT a candidate for the Missouri State Lady Bears Head coaching position?

[Sorter]

I think this is her...

https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/1890579601/31994_1320812465145_1375805787_30758422_7322787_n.jpg

[alpha_omega]

cliffs: our chapter is supposed to fuck that chapter, so slut it up, hoes

Thanks Clay...'cause i had no idea what that was all about. Makes sense now though.

[DTLB58]

She needs to get laid. I think we should volunteer someone from the planet.

Yea, where she's at she should be getting all kinds. Must be something wrong with her. Oh, wait.....

[notorious]

LMAO

I don't understand that culture.

This.

[DTLB58]

you should this is what draft day posts are going to look like concerning the organization as a whole.

And we thought not getting Jimmy Clausen was a bad day. ROFL

[blaise]

When I was in college one of the sororities stole every copy of this student produced weekly campus magazine, because the previous issue had some joke about sorority girls in it. They took thousands of copies because they were mad.

[Sorter]

And here be the sororstitutes homepage.

http://dgumd.moonfruit.com/

[DTLB58]

I think this is her...

https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/1890579601/31994_1320812465145_1375805787_30758422_7322787_n.jpg

Really!? :hmmm:

[Rausch]

Apparently this is the quality of ass running around in Delta Gamma. I can see the need to pander to Sigma Nu boys...

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/625567_10151363287657197_1542552296_n.jpg

One on right looks like she's only there because she has to be and can't wait to get back to Valtrex boyfriend...

[Frazod]

And here be the sororstitutes homepage.

http://dgumd.moonfruit.com/

I started to look around that site, but I'm just too damned old to pull it off without feeling like a fucking creep. LMAO

[Strongside]

This bitch gets shit done. POTUS in 30 years.

[Rain Man]

LMAO

Why would she want it taken down? It made me like her.

[blaise]

I started to look around that site, but I'm just too damned old to pull it off without feeling like a ****ing creep. LMAO

I did the same thing.

[Sorter]

This bitch gets shit done. POTUS in 30 years.

ROFL

[Sorter]

http://dgumd.moonfruit.com/#

Chapter site.

They've got some decent looking chicas in there.

qqqqqqqq

[Saul Good]

This bitch gets shit done. POTUS in 30 years.

Her grandmother is speaker of the house, so this would make sense.

[Buehler445]

qqqqqqqq

You are kicking my ass today. I tried to delete it, but I can't even get that done before you show me up.

[siberian khatru]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Olm0KUtsFE8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[cosmo20002]

There is really some quality ranting and cursing in there. It's like Quentin Tarantino wrote it, but without the N-bombs.

[COchief]

She needs to get laid. I think we should volunteer someone from the planet.

I'm down, she is definitely hittable in a "hit it, but then gtfo fast" type of way.

She is on the left, funny to see the people that immediately tracked her down.

[Rausch]

I'm down, she is definitely hittable in a "hit it, but then gtfo fast" type of way.

She is on the left, funny to see the people that immediately tracked her down.

10 years ago I wouldn't even be considering that $3it...

[cosmo20002]

I'm down, she is definitely hittable in a "hit it, but then gtfo fast" type of way.

She is on the left, funny to see the people that immediately tracked her down.

That's the letter writer or the president who requested the letter be removed? The president isn't necessarily the one who wrote the letter.

[RaiderH8r]

I'm down, she is definitely hittable in a "hit it, but then gtfo fast" type of way.

She is on the left, funny to see the people that immediately tracked her down.

PIIHB? PIIHB.

[Saul Good]

That's the letter writer or the president who requested the letter be removed? The president isn't necessarily the one who wrote the letter.

Yeah. The person who wrote the request isn't the one who wrote the original.

[Dave Lane]

Dane is a girl named Julia?

[Sorter]

Yeah. The person who wrote the request isn't the one who wrote the original.

Are we sure?

[OmahaChief]

I have no problem with that email. I can only imagine she was on a bender when she wrote it or after an event that totally sucked. Sure she could have handled it in a tactful way at Chapter but this wasy is awesome. Being in a Fraternity, she is right there was nothing worse then lame partners for events and it really did give the Soroity a bad rap on the MU campus. Greeklife was huge at MU when I was there and I would not doubt things like this were said on many houses.

[Strongside]

9/10. Would do for career advancement.

[Saul Good]

10 years ago I wouldn't even be considering that $3it...

Of course not. I'm sure you were in the business of turning down attractive 20 year old girls with good bodies.

[notorious]

I hung out with some Sorority girls in Springfield back in the day, and the more of them that gathered to talk the more I wanted to shoot myself in the face.


They were OK when there wasn't a group of them. Spoiled ****s.

[Rausch]

Of course not. I'm sure you were in the business of turning down attractive 20 year old girls with good bodies.

You knock up just one crazy bitch and it's an immediate morality injection...

[Bambi]

That's pretty awesome.

[DTLB58]

I have no problem with that email. I can only imagine she was on a bender when she wrote it or after an event that totally sucked. Sure she could have handled it in a tactful way at Chapter but this wasy is awesome. Being in a Fraternity, she is right there was nothing worse then lame partners for events and it really did give the Soroity a bad rap on the MU campus. Greeklife was huge at MU when I was there and I would not doubt things like this were said on many houses.

Don't know why anyone would choose to be apart of this low life stuff.

How can that email, sender or receiver have a positive effect on anyone?
Weird.

[DeezNutz]

Reason #2876 why it's better to be an athlete.

[Discuss Thrower]

As a Greek alum, I know for a fact my own chapter (and myself) needed a foot up my ass to actually man up and do stuff.

I personally disliked the fact we let relations slide with a sorority who we were close with and were generally fun to hang with because they weren't good looking. It was shallow and immature and I thought it was disrespectful.

[Saul Good]

Don't know why anyone would choose to be apart of this low life stuff.

How can that email, sender or receiver have a positive effect on anyone?
Weird.

Pretty sure she had a positive impact on Sigma Nu bros looking to get a BJ.

[Sully]

Have you never been to a sports game????

[Rausch]

That's pretty awesome.

Not so much...

[Rausch]

As a Greek alum, I know for a fact my own chapter (and myself) needed a foot up my ass to actually man up and do stuff.

I personally disliked the fact we let relations slide with a sorority who we were close with and were generally fun to hang with because they weren't good looking. It was shallow and immature and I thought it was disrespectful.

Horrible, just a horrible human in a being suit you were.

For shame.










Relax, no one expects any type or sort of morality from a Greek.

Male or female...

[Tribal Warfare]

That's pretty awesome.


The real question is who she is related to on CP directly or indirectly.

[Hammock Parties]

Bitch in question:

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/featured/reader-email-this-smoke-from-maryland-just-wrote-the-best-letter-to-her-sorority-in-the-history-of-letters-because-she-was-unhappy-with-their-greek-week-performance/

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/148165_10151118012752721_433922452_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/305926_10151337738787721_511832575_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/529287_10151242578062721_1011724400_n.jpg

[ThaVirus]

I will ****ing **** punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a **** if you SOR me, I WILL ****ING ASSAULT YOU.


So much win.

[Tribal Warfare]

Bitch in question:

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/featured/reader-email-this-smoke-from-maryland-just-wrote-the-best-letter-to-her-sorority-in-the-history-of-letters-because-she-was-unhappy-with-their-greek-week-performance/

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/148165_10151118012752721_433922452_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/305926_10151337738787721_511832575_n.jpg


The bitch looks like she has a small titty complex.

[Sorter]

Rebecca isn't very nice.

[Saul Good]

Bitch in question:

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/featured/reader-email-this-smoke-from-maryland-just-wrote-the-best-letter-to-her-sorority-in-the-history-of-letters-because-she-was-unhappy-with-their-greek-week-performance/

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/148165_10151118012752721_433922452_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/305926_10151337738787721_511832575_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/529287_10151242578062721_1011724400_n.jpg

Yes with a cuddle after.

[siberian khatru]

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/featured/reader-email-this-smoke-from-maryland-just-wrote-the-best-letter-to-her-sorority-in-the-history-of-letters-because-she-was-unhappy-with-their-greek-week-performance/

Dear Rebecca,

I’m sure you may be embarrassed by this email going viral. You shouldn’t be. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in months. Everybody needs somebody like this on their team. Somebody to step up and shake people back into reality. To whip some asses. There isn’t a frat in the world who wouldn’t die for you right now. There isn’t a guy in the world who wouldn’t die for you right now. I don’t want you to work for Barstool Sports. I need you to work for Barstool Sports. I’m not joking. Name your salary and you’re hired.

PS – You’re hot.

Sincerely,

Pres

[teedubya]

Bitch in question:

http://boston.barstoolsports.com/featured/reader-email-this-smoke-from-maryland-just-wrote-the-best-letter-to-her-sorority-in-the-history-of-letters-because-she-was-unhappy-with-their-greek-week-performance/

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/148165_10151118012752721_433922452_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/305926_10151337738787721_511832575_n.jpg

http://wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.boston.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/04/529287_10151242578062721_1011724400_n.jpg

Would Smash.

[Hammock Parties]

I bet there's some hot sigma nu guy she likes that stopped fucking/dating her, whatever, because of this.

"come over"

"no, my friends hate your sisters"

[Reaper16]

It is not deranged, or at least it isn't any more deranged than being in a sorority already is. She makes a lot of good points. Again, if you're already in the realm of misery that is sorority life.

[patteeu]

Really? For what?

No, not really. I'm just messing with you.

[Rausch]

Would Smash.

Would want to.

If I could...would be....well, skeptical.

On a positive note I found this while looking for a gif in google that fit under skeptical...

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/099/f/a/4_minute_hyuna_volume_up_gif_by_teklaa-d4vke7p.gif

[NewChief]

Greek Life has gotten even more fucked up since TFM came around.

[ChiefaRoo]

This girl totally needs to be part of the Planet.

[Hammock Parties]

This girl totally needs to be part of the Planet.

I'll take her to Olive Garden.

[Discuss Thrower]

Greek Life has gotten even more fucked up since TFM came around.

I used to think it was all a parody...

[Rausch]

I'll take her to Olive Garden.

At most behind the plaza holding Little Caesars...

[big nasty kcnut]

Checked out the site and not bad looking girls. They do need to work on their stuffs those frat guys dick are not going to suck themselves.

[ChiefaRoo]

I'll take her to Olive Garden.

Send her an invite Clay. :)

[Hammock Parties]

HER TWEETS ARE GOLD, JERRY

http://i.imgur.com/o47wp4t.png

http://i.imgur.com/g2uf4s1.png

http://i.imgur.com/yUXrDgB.png

http://i.imgur.com/3rrAwGG.png

http://i.imgur.com/VGInFwi.png

http://i.imgur.com/HNBkMVG.png

[Hammock Parties]

Naturally her twitter page is gone now. LMAO

https://si0.twimg.com/profile_images/2879784768/9e322fbb89b529172d6f4b8a6d476f04.jpeg

[Hammock Parties]

hahahaha

Where is ENDelt260 when you need him

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/579788_490136701039754_1252593797_n.jpg

http://distilleryimage0.ak.instagram.com/952fc0f43f1211e286b422000a9d0dd8_7.jpg

http://distilleryimage6.s3.amazonaws.com/40d10fac52b011e2a82b22000a9f1408_7.jpg

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Expound.

Not much really worth expounding upon. I once took two home at once, so that was cool, but they generally tend to be self-absorbed, ignorant assholes.

[siberian khatru]

HER TWEETS ARE GOLD, JERRY

http://i.imgur.com/o47wp4t.png

http://i.imgur.com/g2uf4s1.png

http://i.imgur.com/yUXrDgB.png

http://i.imgur.com/3rrAwGG.png

http://i.imgur.com/VGInFwi.png

http://i.imgur.com/HNBkMVG.png


Her parents must be so proud.

[Sorter]

Those tweets have to be hacked right?



Right?

[Hammock Parties]

Brazzers could make a gold mine off this chick.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

The kind of girl you want to take to the finish line of the Boston Marathon.

[Prison Bitch]

Not much really worth expounding upon. I once took two home at once, so that was cool,


LOL, bull.

[loochy]

The kind of girl you want to take to the finish line of the Boston Marathon.

The kind of girl you want to give a tour of a fertilizer factory

but nah she looks really good though

['Hamas' Jenkins]

LOL, bull.

Shit happens consensually in college that only happens by force in cell block D.

[Prison Bitch]

Shit happens consensually in college that only happens by force in cell block D.

You didn't take home 2 girls dude. But if you did, I bet they looked like my ass after a night in the County.

[Hammock Parties]

'Hamas' Jenkins is a good looking dude, who is clearly quick witted and intelligent enough to dupe naive college sluts.

There is no doubt in my mind he used many, many co-eds for dirty things in the wee hours.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

You didn't take home 2 girls dude. But if you did, I bet they looked like my ass after a night in the County.

Thanks for the update on my past. Anything else you want to inform me on about the life you haven't lived and I have?

['Hamas' Jenkins]

'
There is no doubt in my mind he used many, many co-eds for dirty things in the wee hours.

I did not use many, many co-eds for dirty things. I probably fooled around with a total of like ten girls in college.

[Sorter]

Shit happens consensually in college that only happens by force in cell block D.

LMAO

[Prison Bitch]

Thanks for the update on my past. Anything else you want to inform me on about the life you haven't lived and I have?

Not really. Just stop lying about your sexual prowess.

I do like most of your posts though, so don't change that. Especially not for a prison bitch like me.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Not really. Just stop lying about your sexual prowess.

Even banjo hitters go deep sometimes.

[Bambi]

Pics and tweets make her more awesome.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

The problem with girls like that is that they know that guys will still want to fuck them so they can act like the biggest cunt imaginable with little consequence.

[Strongside]

This chick looks and sounds identical to my brother's ex. She was knocked up and thought it was his. Baby came out Asian...crisis averted. She was hot as hell but she was a huge bitch, sorority slut and an all-around bad person. Our mom would have killed her entire family by now if that kid had been his.

[Hammock Parties]

I did not use many, many co-eds for dirty things. I probably fooled around with a total of like ten girls in college.

I'm disappointed. :(

[Strongside]

I'm disappointed. :(

Clay lives vicariously through his fantastical illusions of Hamas Jenkins' life. His soul has been crushed.

[Hammock Parties]

Clay lives vicariously through his fantastical illusions of Hamas Jenkins' life. His soul has been crushed.

I live vicariously through ANYONE who created tales of hedonism in their formative years.

[Prison Bitch]

Chick is hot. Period.

[Bob Dole]

Can't really blame someone for not wanting to hang out with Snakes...

[BlackHelicopters]

Wait. What?

[Tribal Warfare]

HER TWEETS ARE GOLD, JERRY

http://i.imgur.com/o47wp4t.png

http://i.imgur.com/g2uf4s1.png

http://i.imgur.com/yUXrDgB.png

http://i.imgur.com/3rrAwGG.png

http://i.imgur.com/VGInFwi.png

http://i.imgur.com/HNBkMVG.png

these can't be real

[Hammock Parties]

these can't be real

http://media.moddb.com/images/groups/1/3/2933/15hkcpt.gif

[Nickel D]

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough ****ing ride.
[/I][/INDENT]


Somebody with a huge ****in' black **** needs to tie HER down to a chair and give her a rough ****ing ride.

[BlackHelicopters]

Does anyone have pics of any alleged "Cunt punting"? Thanks in advance.

[listopencil]

Did she say "I will fucking cunt fuck the next person..."? Wow. She's going to have a hard time in the real world. This is where those fucked up suburban wife soccer mom memes comes from.

[listopencil]

Oh, that third filtered word should be "kick." Not "fuck."

[Sorter]

cunt punt.

[listopencil]

**** punt.

I like cunt kick. I'm a sucker for alliteration.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

I like cunt kick. I'm a sucker for alliteration.

Then use cootch kick.

[loochy]

More pics please

[Fritz88]

Dane?
Posted via Mobile Device

['Hamas' Jenkins]

I live vicariously through ANYONE who created tales of hedonism in their formative years.

Well then...here's the tale.

At a party Homecoming weekend of my sophomore year, and I'm your general inebriated, obnoxious 19 year old. I start talking to these two girls on the deck. They are cute enough, especially where I went to school. I start to ply my sociopathic charm, swilling Natural Lights, taking the occasional pull from their bottle of Peppermint Schnapps. The subject turns to food, more specifically, cookies. I say "cookies sound good". They say, "come over to our dorm and we'll make you some."

(This is point one in the story that certifies me as a fool who is all brains and not enough cock and balls)

I respond not with "yes", but "I'll take you over to my place and make you pasta."

Huge tactical error. Eventually, we leave. The girl I'd rather hook up with is in the backseat. I drive our drunk asses not to my place to strip mine their asses and drill for ejaculate, but to the fucking grocery store, where I purchase a bottle of spaghetti sauce and angel hair pasta.

As we get back near my place I hear the hotter girl in the back tell me to roll down the window. I do. She doesn't make it. Bitch pukes on my leather jacket.

I throw her over my shoulder like the 150 lb. caveman I was at the time, drop her ass on my thinly carpeted concrete floor, and slam the door of my room, turning my full attention to girl number two.

At this point I sit her on the couch and begin cooking the fucking pasta, because, again, I'm a fucking moron. I've never made spaghetti before. I don't boil water, I just heat up a thin tin Wal-Mart pot, throw in the sauce and pasta, and wait for it to bubble, assuming it's finished.

We "eat" the pasta. It fucking sucks. I take a bite and throw it in the sink.

We eventually go into my room. Girl #2 is still passed out on the floor. Eventually we start fooling around after I make some kind of suave move like, "Well...derrrr....wanna make out...derrr..."

So we're doing our thing, we finish, start going at it again. She notices a video camera on top of my television.

Tactical mistake #3 coming:

She asks me if I want to film it, I hem and haw and then say "nah...better not."

Then, I say, "We could have girl #2 film it," at which point she says, "we could have her join in,"

And, with the dumbassery approached historically only by Neville Chamberlain, Rich Kotite, or Nero, I say, "We probably shouldn't."

Eventually we are lying on my bed bareassed. Girl #2 wakes up from her drunken stupor and says, "I'm cold," to which I respond, "Here, warm up with this," throwing her a towel I had placed beneath us, covered with various wet and dried bodily secretions.

We eventually pass out. The next morning girl #2 has disappeared. Girl #1 thinks she has missed her Homecoming parade and will have hell to pay. Turns out someone set their sorority's float on fire overnight.

As the cherry on top, some weeks later she invites me to her formal, and despite having no ass on the immediate horizon I tell her I'll call her back, then never do so, passing up easy sex.

Many times I have the sense of a suicide bomber who straps Black Cats around his waist.

[siberian khatru]

Well then...here's the tale.

At a party Homecoming weekend of my sophomore year, and I'm your general inebriated, obnoxious 19 year old. I start talking to these two girls on the deck. They are cute enough, especially where I went to school. I start to ply my sociopathic charm, swilling Natural Lights, taking the occasional pull from their bottle of Peppermint Schnapps. The subject turns to food, more specifically, cookies. I say "cookies sound good". They say, "come over to our dorm and we'll make you some."

(This is point one in the story that certifies me as a fool who is all brains and not enough cock and balls)

I respond not with "yes", but "I'll take you over to my place and make you pasta."

Huge tactical error. Eventually, we leave. The girl I'd rather hook up with is in the backseat. I drive our drunk asses not to my place to strip mine their asses and drill for ejaculate, but to the ****ing grocery store, where I purchase a bottle of spaghetti sauce and angel hair pasta.

As we get back near my place I hear the hotter girl in the back tell me to roll down the window. I do. She doesn't make it. Bitch pukes on my leather jacket.

I throw her over my shoulder like the 150 lb. caveman I was at the time, drop her ass on my thinly carpeted concrete floor, and slam the door of my room, turning my full attention to girl number two.

At this point I sit her on the couch and begin cooking the ****ing pasta, because, again, I'm a ****ing moron. I've never made spaghetti before. I don't boil water, I just heat up a thin tin Wal-Mart pot, throw in the sauce and pasta, and wait for it to bubble, assuming it's finished.

We "eat" the pasta. It ****ing sucks. I take a bite and throw it in the sink.

We eventually go into my room. Girl #2 is still passed out on the floor. Eventually we start fooling around after I make some kind of suave move like, "Well...derrrr....wanna make out...derrr..."

So we're doing our thing, we finish, start going at it again. She notices a video camera on top of my television.

Tactical mistake #3 coming:

She asks me if I want to film it, I hem and haw and then say "nah...better not."

Then, I say, "We could have girl #2 film it," at which point she says, "we could have her join in,"

And, with the dumbassery approached historically only by Neville Chamberlain, Rich Kotite, or Nero, I say, "We probably shouldn't."

Eventually we are lying on my bed bareassed. Girl #2 wakes up from her drunken stupor and says, "I'm cold," to which I respond, "Here, warm up with this," throwing her a towel I had placed beneath us, covered with various wet and dried bodily secretions.

We eventually pass out. The next morning girl #2 has disappeared. Girl #1 thinks she has missed her Homecoming parade and will have hell to pay. Turns out someone set their sorority's float on fire overnight.

As the cherry on top, some weeks later she invites me to her formal, and despite having no ass on the immediate horizon I tell her I'll call her back, then never do so, passing up easy sex.

Many times I have the sense of a suicide bomber who straps Black Cats around his waist.


You're like the anti-Mike Dixon.

[siberian khatru]

That was a good story, though. It makes me feel better about my romantic escapades.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

You're like the anti-Mike Dixon.

ROFLROFL

Yes means No.

[ChiefaRoo]

http://media.moddb.com/images/groups/1/3/2933/15hkcpt.gif

Ha Ha!! Gold indeed Jerry....Gold indeed.

[Chaunceythe3rd]

So many, many bad words. Obviously, the young woman needs help from a qualified professional.

[Hammock Parties]

(This is point one in the story that certifies me as a fool who is all brains and not enough cock and balls)

I respond not with "yes", but "I'll take you over to my place and make you pasta."

HOLY FUCK. Not even a young, virgin GC would have said that.

[Hammock Parties]

strip mine their asses and drill for ejaculate

http://1.asset.soup.io/asset/1522/9137_c5ad.gif

[ChiefaRoo]

Has anyone friended Rebecca on FB yet?

[gblowfish]

We should extend an invite to join, and be our new Kirstie Tynes!

[Discuss Thrower]

http://media.moddb.com/images/groups/1/3/2933/15hkcpt.gif

Senator Vreenak wants to have a word with you

[hometeam]

HA! This bitch is serious~

[Stanley Nickels]

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cRbVIh3Tsio" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Cannibal]

What a cunt

[CoMoChief]

i only made it through about a few lines.

greek bitches are fucking stupid.

[Prison Bitch]

i only made it through about a few lines.

greek bitches are ****ing stupid.

You missed an epic rant. Funniest thing I've seen in months

[bevischief]

Get her on here.

[Predarat]

Sabans daughter needs to kick her ass, and someone needs to record it.

[Predarat]

http://outkickthecoverage.com/nick-sabans-daughter-kristen-accused-of-sorority-catfight-beatdown.php

[Halfcan]

She must be a member of Chiefs Planet-lol

[trndobrd]

Oh wait, DOUBLE ****ING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE ****ING SUCK,

This statement seems counter-intuitive.

[loochy]

sigma who?

[Setsuna]

LOLOLOLOL this is deranged how? She's right. Pussification of America continues.

[ThaVirus]

With that body and that mouth, I really want to have angry sex with her.

[Hootie]

:loser:

seriously

if anyone is curious

look at this guy's post history

he is literally stalking me

[LoneWolf]

LOLOLOLOL this is deranged how? She's right. Pussification of America continues.

Isn't it more pussified to chastise people and threaten to kick their ass by email instead of acting like an adult and talking to people face to face?

[LoneWolf]

seriously

if anyone is curious

look at this guy's post history

he is literally stalking me

He does seem to have a TimBone for you.

[Setsuna]

Isn't it more pussified to chastise people and threaten to kick their ass by email instead of acting like an adult and talking to people face to face?
LOL she's a female so no it's not. It's the fact that the title is literally stupid as anything. It's not deranged at all, she's just angry. Since when does being angry = deranged? This is my point. There always has to be something wrong with someone, and they just can't be normal and express basic human emotions. She just has a sailors mouth, I mean deranged? Negro please. I understood the point she was trying to make and the cursing was just fluff. Deranged? Seriously? That's a word for serial killers. People are too sensitive and it's pathetic.

[LoneWolf]

LOL she's a female so no it's not. It's the fact that the title is literally stupid as anything. It's not deranged at all, she's just angry. Since when does being angry = deranged? This is my point. There always has to be something wrong with someone, and they just can't be normal and express basic human emotions. She just has a sailors mouth, I mean deranged? Negro please. I understood the point she was trying to make and the cursing was just fluff. Deranged? Seriously? That's a word for serial killers. People are too sensitive and it's pathetic.

Being angry doesn't excuse bad behavior or make that behavior any more understandable. Children and immature individuals use emotions to justify their bad behavior. Is she deranged? I don't think so. I do think that at this point in her life she is stupid, immature, and well on her way to being a piece of shit human being.

[Prison Bitch]

LOLOLOLOL this is deranged how? She's right. Pussification of America continues.

I just told my friend the same thing. how is she wrong? I knew sorority girls when I was 20 and they were pathetic creatures. This girl is sick of dealing with their lame crap. She's gotta be right.

[Setsuna]

Being angry doesn't excuse bad behavior or make that behavior any more understandable. Children and immature individuals use emotions to justify their bad behavior. Is she deranged? I don't think so. I do think that at this point in her life she is stupid, immature, and well on her way to being a piece of shit human being.

Le sigh. WTH dude? Bad behavior? What are we? Babysitters now? What behavior? For speaking? For typing really. Did she go out and haze these girls? Did she make a burn book with all them in it and email it out to the university population? That's more of a behavior. I mean good lord. If this is a university then they are all adults. They didn't HAVE to open the e-mail AND they didn't HAVE to read all of it. After the first sentence it's obvious what her mood is and you don't have to read further. It's just freaking stupid to try and police free will when it's not breaking laws. I mean really Lone Wolf? Reeeaaalllyy? This is so stupid. People trying to make it seem worse than it is have their screws loose. She expressed her anger through an e-mail and did it with vulgar language. Let's berate her because we've never done that either! We're all Saints! Let's tear her down and make her wear a Scarlet A! RRRRAAAAWWWRRRR! MOAR POWER! ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL You make me laugh. As well as American society.

I just told my friend the same thing. how is she wrong? I knew sorority girls when I was 20 and they were pathetic creatures. This girl is sick of dealing with their lame crap. She's gotta be right.
Pretty much this. If you decide to join a sorority then you pretty much have signed an invisible contract of sorts in certain etiquette you exhibit. All fraternities have sister sororities and they do everything together, to not socialize with the brother fraternity and talk about hanging out with another fraternity while the brother fraternity is still there is a slap to the face really. She's angry at their ignorance, and I understand her frustration because one of my pet peeves is ignorance and you'll pretty much always be mad when that's the case.

[Discuss Thrower]

Sorry if Q, but it sounds like they were paired for Greek week type festivities were its expected you actually be social with the chapter you're paired with.

[LoneWolf]

Le sigh. WTH dude? Bad behavior? What are we? Babysitters now? What behavior? For speaking? For typing really. Did she go out and haze these girls? Did she make a burn book with all them in it and email it out to the university population? That's more of a behavior. I mean good lord. If this is a university then they are all adults. They didn't HAVE to open the e-mail AND they didn't HAVE to read all of it. After the first sentence it's obvious what her mood is and you don't have to read further. It's just freaking stupid to try and police free will when it's not breaking laws. I mean really Lone Wolf? Reeeaaalllyy? This is so stupid. People trying to make it seem worse than it is have their screws loose. She expressed her anger through an e-mail and did it with vulgar language. Let's berate her because we've never done that either! We're all Saints! Let's tear her down and make her wear a Scarlet A! RRRRAAAAWWWRRRR! MOAR POWER! ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL You make me laugh. As well as American society.


Pretty much this. If you decide to join a sorority then you pretty much have signed an invisible contract of sorts in certain etiquette you exhibit. All fraternities have sister sororities and they do everything together, to not socialize with the brother fraternity and talk about hanging out with another fraternity while the brother fraternity is still there is a slap to the face really. She's angry at their ignorance, and I understand her frustration because one of my pet peeves is ignorance and you'll pretty much always be mad when that's the case.

Goddamn you are one stupid mother****er. What she did was stupid and immature. I never said that she needed punished in any way. I'm pretty sure sororities police themselves.

As for policing free will, threatening someone even in an email is illegal if the person you are addressing believes your threat and feels they are in danger because of it. So in essence this could be illegal. Do I think she is serious about "**** punting" or "assaulting" any of her sisters? No, but that doesn't mean one of them won't take her threats seriously.

If one of your pet peeves is ignorance, you must truly hate yourself.

[kaplin42]

Goddamn you are one stupid mother****er. What she did was stupid and immature. I never said that she needed punished in any way. I'm pretty sure sororities police themselves.

As for policing free will, threatening someone even in an email is illegal if the person you are addressing believes your threat and feels they are in danger because of it. So in essence this could be illegal. Do I think she is serious about "**** punting" or "assaulting" any of her sisters? No, but that doesn't mean one of them won't take her threats seriously.

If one of your pet peeves is ignorance, you must truly hate yourself.

Setsuna is right, you're wrong. She sent an angry email, big deal, nothing worse than what you hear everyday in a locker room. Just because she uses language that you don't like, doesn't mean she is wrong.

[InChiefsHeaven]

Didn't read it all...but I'm sure her folks are really proud of her...

[Setsuna]

Sorry if Q, but it sounds like they were paired for Greek week type festivities were its expected you actually be social with the chapter you're paired with.
Ohhh I see. I thought they were sister sorority to that fraternity in general. Well I was wrong there, but it still applies.

Goddamn you are one stupid mother****er. What she did was stupid and immature. I never said that she needed punished in any way. I'm pretty sure sororities police themselves.

As for policing free will, threatening someone even in an email is illegal if the person you are addressing believes your threat and feels they are in danger because of it. So in essence this could be illegal. Do I think she is serious about "**** punting" or "assaulting" any of her sisters? No, but that doesn't mean one of them won't take her threats seriously.

If one of your pet peeves is ignorance, you must truly hate yourself.
I don't know why I try to reason with you. Besides Pestilence, I shouldn't expect much from a ND fan.

Setsuna is right, you're wrong. She sent an angry email, big deal, nothing worse than what you hear everyday in a locker room. Just because she uses language that you don't like, doesn't mean she is wrong.
Thank you good sir.

[LoneWolf]

Setsuna is right, you're wrong. She sent an angry email, big deal, nothing worse than what you hear everyday in a locker room. Just because she uses language that you don't like, doesn't mean she is wrong.

You and you boyfriend Setsuna can't read. I never said her opinion of her sorority sisters actions was wrong. I simply stated that she chose a stupid and immature way to express it. She took the easy way out by trying to sound all tough in an email instead of talking to the girls in the sorority directly. If you don't believe that the method she chose to get her message across was stupid and immature, then I don't know what to tell you except you're wrong.

[RunKC]

Oh my God this is just beautiful!!! Michael Shannon did a parody of this email.

So funny.

<iframe src="http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/4ad20b4edf" width="640" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:640px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter" title="from Michael Shannon, Bryan, Danny Jelinek, Funny Or Die, and Betsy Koch">Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/michael_shannon">Michael Shannon</a> <iframe src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?app_id=138711277798&amp;href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyordie.com%2Fvideos%2F4ad20b4edf%2Fmichael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter&amp;send=false&amp;layout=button_count&amp;width=150&amp;show_faces=false&amp;action=like&amp;height=21" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:90px; height:21px; vertical-align:middle;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe>
</div>

[WhiteWhale]

You and you boyfriend Setsuna can't read. I never said her opinion of her sorority sisters actions was wrong. I simply stated that she chose a stupid and immature way to express it. She took the easy way out by trying to sound all tough in an email instead of talking to the girls in the sorority directly. If you don't believe that the method she chose to get her message across was stupid and immature, then I don't know what to tell you except you're wrong.

It was the childish tantrum of a spoiled brat.

It's not even really that funny. I did enjoy the phrase '**** punt'. Other than that it was just a childish tantrum of a spoiled brat. It's pretty common today and is often defended as acceptable. I'm not really sure what is remarkable about it other than the attention it has garnered.

[patteeu]

It was the childish tantrum of a spoiled brat.

It's not even really that funny. I did enjoy the phrase '**** punt'. Other than that it was just a childish tantrum of a spoiled brat. It's pretty common today and is often defended as acceptable. I'm not really sure what is remarkable about it other than the attention it has garnered.

I disagree. If a football coach had gone on a similar rant to his players about their responsibilities, no one would call it a childish tantrum of a spoiled brat. This might be unseemly language for a young lady to use in polite company, but she's right and it's presumably her job to impress that upon her sisters. I'm not condoning the approach, because it has PR implications if it gets out to the public obviously, but your criticism seems unfairly based in stereotype.

[Frazod]

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/04/25/sorority-girl-responsible-for-profane-delta-gamma-email-resigns-after-scandal/?intcmp=features

Sorority girl responsible for profane Delta Gamma email resigns after scandal

Published April 25, 2013

A University of Maryland student, who sent a profanity-filled email to her sorority sisters that went viral, has resigned from her role in the Delta Gamma sorority, the organization announced on its website.

“Delta Gamma has accepted the resignation of one of its members whose email relating to a social event has been widely distributed and publicized through social media and traditional media channels,” the statement read.

The now infamous email went viral last week after it began surfacing on several websites. It was also read by actor Michael Shannon in a video for spoof website FunnyOrDie.

In the message sent out to the entire sorority, the writer bashes the members of the Greek group for not socializing with fraternity members at social events and for cheering on opposing teams at sports games.

"ARE YOU F***ING STUPID?!! I don't give a SH*T about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR… TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME?" the email reads.

The writer ends the R-rated message unapologetically: “And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a f***. Go f*** yourself.”

Delta Gamma stated that the email was “highly inappropriate and unacceptable by any standard.”

“No matter who released it to the public or how it reached such a mass audience, the email content should not reflect on any sorority woman in general or any fraternal organization at large,” the sorority stated. “This is a regrettable action by a college junior – a personal email that is now on view for a global audience. And as all reasonable people can agree, this is an email that should never have been sent by its author. Period.”

[gblowfish]

I'll bet she likes to talk dirty in bed...

[Discuss Thrower]

Welp. I guess she should've expected this but it was a bitch move on the part of which one of her sisters leaked this email to the public.

And I'm also guessing she was 100% correct on the reasons why she felt her chapter was fucking up, but c'est la vie.

[cockeyes]

If you've ever known any sorority girls that email doesn't seem especially crazy

[Discuss Thrower]

If you've ever known any sorority girls that email doesn't seem especially crazy

A lot of truth here, but their craziness comes out in recruitment usually. If you have to make a rule that you cannot give potential sorority girls ANYTHING to the point you most collect used kleenexes then something's gone wrong.

[ChiefaRoo]

Oh my God this is just beautiful!!! Michael Shannon did a parody of this email.

So funny.

<iframe src="http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/4ad20b4edf" width="640" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:640px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter" title="from Michael Shannon, Bryan, Danny Jelinek, Funny Or Die, and Betsy Koch">Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/michael_shannon">Michael Shannon</a> <iframe src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?app_id=138711277798&amp;href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyordie.com%2Fvideos%2F4ad20b4edf%2Fmichael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter&amp;send=false&amp;layout=button_count&amp;width=150&amp;show_faces=false&amp;action=like&amp;height=21" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:90px; height:21px; vertical-align:middle;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe>
</div>



Oscar! LMAO

[DJ's left nut]

Every time I've read that Email I've read it in the voice of Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder.

And yeah, even with a fairly nominal history with sorority girls, I can go ahead and say that this isn't really that crazy. The 'officers' in those cults are frequently completely out of their damn minds.

[gblowfish]

Every time I've read that Email I've read it in the voice of Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder.

Les Grossman was Tom Cruise's greatest character.

[ChiefaRoo]

Oh my God this is just beautiful!!! Michael Shannon did a parody of this email.

So funny.

<iframe src="http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/4ad20b4edf" width="640" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:640px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter" title="from Michael Shannon, Bryan, Danny Jelinek, Funny Or Die, and Betsy Koch">Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/michael_shannon">Michael Shannon</a> <iframe src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?app_id=138711277798&amp;href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyordie.com%2Fvideos%2F4ad20b4edf%2Fmichael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter&amp;send=false&amp;layout=button_count&amp;width=150&amp;show_faces=false&amp;action=like&amp;height=21" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:90px; height:21px; vertical-align:middle;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe>
</div>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Odd8Zdhuj9o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[Pitt Gorilla]

Oh my God this is just beautiful!!! Michael Shannon did a parody of this email.

So funny.

<iframe src="http://www.funnyordie.com/embed/4ad20b4edf" width="640" height="400" frameborder="0"></iframe><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:640px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter" title="from Michael Shannon, Bryan, Danny Jelinek, Funny Or Die, and Betsy Koch">Michael Shannon Reads the Insane Delta Gamma Sorority Letter</a> from <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/michael_shannon">Michael Shannon</a> <iframe src="http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?app_id=138711277798&amp;href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyordie.com%2Fvideos%2F4ad20b4edf%2Fmichael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter&amp;send=false&amp;layout=button_count&amp;width=150&amp;show_faces=false&amp;action=like&amp;height=21" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="border:none; overflow:hidden; width:90px; height:21px; vertical-align:middle;" allowTransparency="true"></iframe>
</div>Well done.

[Sorter]

Every time I've read that Email I've read it in the voice of Les Grossman from Tropic Thunder.

And yeah, even with a fairly nominal history with sorority girls, I can go ahead and say that this isn't really that crazy. The 'officers' in those cults are frequently completely out of their damn minds.

This

[suzzer99]

Can't believe they made her resign. Sororities and frats take themselves way way too seriously. Hopefully she goes into screen writing.

[Baby Lee]

Where did this boner come from

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[LoneWolf]

She gives me a boner.

And listening to her read the original email in a winy girl voice just strengthens my opinion that the original email poster was a stupid bitch.

[Iowanian]

That was almost as good of a pregame speech as the "I am a Champion"!

You know those girls bonged entire 2 liters of purple panty dropper and yanked peckers like they were in a shake weight video seen on cable at 6am on sunday morning.
More hot dogs were gobbled in the first hour than night than Noon outside of Nathan's on the 4th of July.


http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Emma-Watson-Uses-A-Shake-Weight-MRW-Gif.gif

[Baby Lee]

She gives me a boner.

And listening to her read the original email in a winy girl voice just strengthens my opinion that the original email poster was a stupid bitch.

She actually had a basic cable credit last week, guest star on Franklin and Bash. Nerds will remember her from Attack of the Show.

[vailpass]

That was almost as good of a pregame speech as the "I am a Champion"!

You know those girls bonged entire 2 liters of purple panty dropper and yanked peckers like they were in a shake weight video seen on cable at 6am on sunday morning.


http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Emma-Watson-Uses-A-Shake-Weight-MRW-Gif.gif

LMAO

[Donger]

That was almost as good of a pregame speech as the "I am a Champion"!

You know those girls bonged entire 2 liters of purple panty dropper and yanked peckers like they were in a shake weight video seen on cable at 6am on sunday morning.
More hot dogs were gobbled in the first hour than night than Noon outside of Nathan's on the 4th of July.


http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Emma-Watson-Uses-A-Shake-Weight-MRW-Gif.gif

I'll see your shake weight and raise you one Korean horse humper:

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