A Minor Rant About Kids And Financial Responsibility

[Rain Man]

I have to vent this. Sorry if repost, but it's not a repost.

There are some people in my life who are fine, upstanding people, and they have two kids in college. They're always talking about money shortages, and the kids are presumably struggling to afford college. Last year I stepped up and funded about 10 percent of their college costs to help out (maybe a little less than 10 percent, but it was a lot of money), and it seemed to be appreciated.

Every year, I also send the kids money for their birthday. It's not a ton of money, but it's $100+. I've been doing this for more or less their whole lives, and as far as I can tell it's their only savings. (Their mother would let them spend part and made them save part, which is good. In college, though, there's no savings element any more, which I understand.)

So they're in college now and I've still sent birthday money every year. I don't want to do the old fogey story, but when I was in college, I would've cherished a check like that and carefully taken it to the bank to cash it, and would've been thrilled to get some walking around money. I needed every penny and I never got a penny from anybody on a personal basis when I was in college. I'll also occasionally send them $25 or so just for no reason, because that would've meant a lot to me when I was in college.

Well, I just got a call from their mother and was told that one of the kids wants me to re-issue the birthday check because she set it aside and forgot to cash it and now it's expired. Her birthday was months ago. Months. And this is the second time this has happened, because the other kid did the same thing last year.

That freaking ticks me off so much. First, they aren't even bothering to cash the checks for months, and second, they don't even contact me. In this case, it was the mother. In the event last year, I got a message from the bank that my check was being canceled because it was never cashed, and when I asked the kid, he said, "I dunno. Mom was supposed to cash it."

I just don't get it. They aren't rich. They aren't stupid. They suffer from a hovering helicopter parent who I think shields them too much from growing up, but at the same time, how do you not start WANTING to run your own life at some point? When I gave them the college money, one of the kids didn't even know how much he needed for tuition. How do you not know that when it's such an enormous investment? It was so disappointing to give them the money and get that reaction.

I keep wanting to help these kids, and they're overall good kids, but they're so freaking clueless and artificially helpless that it drives me crazy. I'm really wondering what their future holds, because they're just sleepwalking through college and not even thinking about the long term, and neither one seems to have any ambition at all. It drives me insane.

I think I'm just going to cut off any financial help. They'll get a sincere birthday card and some kind wishes from now on. Way to screw up the minor gravy train, kiddos.

[Bugeater]

You're more than welcome send me those checks. I can assure you I would cash them immediately.

[J Diddy]

Not to come to their defense, however, when I'm avoiding spending money, I set aside my paychecks when they're not needed to avoid the temptation of spending them. Kind of like in case of emergency. I imagine that is what happened.

[Rain Man]

Not to come to their defense, however, when I'm avoiding spending money, I set aside my paychecks when they're not needed to avoid the temptation of spending them. Kind of like in case of emergency. I imagine that is what happened.

I want a good explanation like that, but that's not the vibe I'm getting. And I'm suspecting you don't forget about the checks for months, right?

I don't want to get mad at these kids because they're fine kids overall. But ... then they're not really kids now. They just act like it.

[LiL stumppy]

Some kids just do not get it, blows my mind as well. I would have appreciated 100 bucks so much I would have spent 5 of it on a thank you card and a phone call at the very least, people are just ignorant and rude, really all there is to it.

[ChiliConCarnage]

Not to come to their defense, however, when I'm avoiding spending money, I set aside my paychecks when they're not needed to avoid the temptation of spending them. Kind of like in case of emergency. I imagine that is what happened.

To address a small part: Checks are like magical money to the youth of today.
The fact that they are setting it aside almost like a conscientious spender would do with a gift card is kind of an upside. Whether it's right or wrong I doubt a lot of today's youth understands checks nor do they know how to balance a check book. While I wouldn't be too concerned if they were instantly cashing and using it, I think it's neat that they are setting it aside for something important.

[J Diddy]

I want a good explanation like that, but that's not the vibe I'm getting. And I'm suspecting you don't forget about the checks for months, right?

I don't want to get mad at these kids because they're fine kids overall. But ... then they're not really kids now. They just act like it.

I actually have, mostly because I was on top of my bills and set the aside checks weren't needed at all. One day I was cleaning out my desk and boom, there were 2 paychecks (not substantial in size) that had passed the 90 day expiration. I only found them because I cleaned out my desk.

Not saying that's what happened with them, just saying, there's a chance that they managed everything so well that they didn't require your gift and set it aside for a rainy day that never happened. Just a thought.

[Fat Elvis]

I want a good explanation like that, but that's not the vibe I'm getting. And I'm suspecting you don't forget about the checks for months, right?

I don't want to get mad at these kids because they're fine kids overall. But ... then they're not really kids now. They just act like it.

I wonder if they knew they couldn't cash it past a certain date. I remember when I was in my early 20s and I was saving up for a computer (yeah, back then you had to save up a lot of money) and I wouldn't cash paychecks that I didn't need for months on end. I didn't have the foggiest idea that I should of been cashing those checks until later on.

[Fat Elvis]

I actually have, mostly because I was on top of my bills and set the aside checks weren't needed at all. One day I was cleaning out my desk and boom, there were 2 paychecks (not substantial in size) that had passed the 90 day expiration. I only found them because I cleaned out my desk.

Not saying that's what happened with them, just saying, there's a chance that they managed everything so well that they didn't require your gift and set it aside for a rainy day that never happened. Just a thought.

If they are good folks and good kids who seem to be otherwise pretty responsible, this is probably what happened.

[Rain Man]

Well, most of y'all are saying it's not unreasonable to not cash checks, and your reasons seem sound.

What I was told in these cases was:

1. I didn't know it wasn't cashed because my mom handles my money.

2. We had bad weather the week I got the check, so I put it in a safe place and forgot about it.

I'll ask sincerely. Is there a charitable way to interpret those reasons along the lines of what you're telling me? I'd like to think they're not just clueless.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I hate to sound skeptical. However, welcome to the age of participation ribbons...

[HoneyBadger]

I always make a phone call or write a thank you card when I recieve a gift. It's just the way I was brought up. I don't think many kids are like that anymore.

[J Diddy]

Well, most of y'all are saying it's not unreasonable to not cash checks, and your reasons seem sound.

What I was told in these cases was:

1. I didn't know it wasn't cashed because my mom handles my money.

2. We had bad weather the week I got the check, so I put it in a safe place and forgot about it.

I'll ask sincerely. Is there a charitable way to interpret those reasons along the lines of what you're telling me? I'd like to think they're not just clueless.

Well to be honest, would you tell someone who was providing you with a surplus cash flow that you don't need it? That it's just extra cash. To me that would seem rude. Almost like kicking a gift horse in the balls.

[Fat Elvis]

Well, most of y'all are saying it's not unreasonable to not cash checks, and your reasons seem sound.

What I was told in these cases was:

1. I didn't know it wasn't cashed because my mom handles my money.

2. We had bad weather the week I got the check, so I put it in a safe place and forgot about it.

I'll ask sincerely. Is there a charitable way to interpret those reasons along the lines of what you're telling me? I'd like to think they're not just clueless.

1 means they are clueless.

2 could be legitimate, especially in college--if they are studying for exams, doing projects and whatnot.

[Demonpenz]

You are a control freak.

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

The teller at their bank wants to see some ID before cashing the checks and all they have are fake ones.

[mcan]

It's a big issue. Most kids aren't taught any of these things. In the past, those kids who's parents didn't know enough to care, and didn't go to college... Had kids who didn't know to care, and didn't go. But public school is now geared towards getting kids into college. Used to be a primer for the workforce... The students then get this idea that college is the next step, and treat it much like they treated high school (apathy). Since they can go on student loans, they just sign up... BAM, now you're in a massive amount of debt and the decision making process was no more complicated than the one you use to make a salad. Eventually, you grow up a bit, usually right before or right after you graduate. You realize, there are no jobs... No way to pay back the debt... And oh shit, you didn't even cash that neighbor guys' birthday checks!

[In58men]

You are a control freak.

And you're fucking stupid

[trndobrd]

A couple thoughts:

1. Be glad they don't have to rush out and cash the check to pay off their bookie or dealer.

2. It's quite possible Mom told student she would deposit the check and forgot.

3. Kids, and many adults, don't use checks these days. If you are set up with a debit card and online bill paying, going to the bank is a rare occurrence.

4. Next time, send the students some military recruitment literature instead of a check. You can't put a monetary value on the leadership and life skills they will gain in the military.

5. I've heard that for some, college is hard work requiring hours of diligent study, class attendance, research and writing. Maybe they were distracted.

6. If this is really bothering you, write the next round of checks for $1000 or more and I'm certain they will be deposited immediately.

[Lex Luthor]

You are a control freak.

Wow. The level of stupidity in this post is mind-boggling. I hope Demonpenz was just being sarcastic and I failed to see that.

I can't believe all the posts in this thread making excuses for kids who are too fucking lazy to bother cashing the checks they get. You don't "set aside" a check for a rainy day. You deposit it in your savings account for a rainy day.

If they can't be bothered to cash the checks AND send a thank you note, I wouldn't bother to write any more checks. It would be a good life lesson for the kids.

[Lex Luthor]

A couple thoughts:

1. Be glad they don't have to rush out and cash the check to pay off their bookie or dealer.

2. It's quite possible Mom told student she would deposit the check and forgot.

3. Kids, and many adults, don't use checks these days. If you are set up with a debit card and online bill paying, going to the bank is a rare occurrence.

4. Next time, send the students some military recruitment literature instead of a check. You can't put a monetary value on the leadership and life skills they will gain in the military.

5. I've heard that for some, college is hard work requiring hours of diligent study, class attendance, research and writing. Maybe they were distracted.

6. If this is really bothering you, write the next round of checks for $1000 or more and I'm certain they will be deposited immediately.
I have two sons in college. Please become their honorary uncle.

[mikey23545]

And you're ****ing stupid

LMAO

And so your legend grows...LMAO

[Fire Me Boy!]

You're more than welcome send me those checks. I can assure you I would cash them immediately.

I'll cash them immediately AND send him a thank him card. And Rain Man, I'll always have your favorite beer on hand when you come to visit.

[threebag]

Maybe they misplaced it like some sort of accident shit

[AussieChiefsFan]

When I clicked on this thread, I was expecting you to say "They spent it on drugs" or something.

[007]

i don't understand kids today at all. It is sad that you have to force them to save. It is almost as if they NEED something bad to happen to open their eyes on how they should be managing their money. With my son, it was his car accident. he didn't save a dime prior to it, now he keeps 50% of his paycheck in a savings account. The only way he can access it is by going to the bank.

I love that you give them checks and not gift cards Rain Man. Too many people today just go the gift card route and it drives me nuts. You can't save a gift card. It has to be spent.

As far as your situation goes, all you can do is continue to send the checks or not. I wouldn't lose any sleep over them not cashing the check but I find it kind of rude for them to ask you to write another one. personally, I would be damn embarrassed to say I lost or misplaced an actual check or even worse, just plain forgot to cash it.

Someday something will happen to force them to appreciate that check. You'll know when it does too because they will be thanking you for it.

[ChiefRocka]

No mon, no fun, your son.

So sad, too bad, your dad.

[Chief Pote]

There is absolutely no way I would write that check for the second time. Life is full of lessons and this should be one of them. If they ask why, tell them ever so nicely.

I have a nephew that we would send a Christmas gift...money. Well he grew up, moved away, got married and had a child. We stopped sending Christmas gifts since he became an adult. Well we started back up when he had a child thinking that it's for his new baby. We got a thank you(which was nice) and he and his wife bought CDs with the money. Oh come on, it's not about YOU anymore buster. Just a card now days.

[mlyonsd]

Change it up a bit and next time send them a gift card from Pizza Hut or Target. They'll get the message.

[WhawhaWhat]

You seem to be wanting to cut them off anyway and looking for CP to justify your reasoning for that. There are plenty of good reasons people have given why they may have not cashed the check but you keep going back to "They're morons and don't deserve this money".

Just cut them off and be done with it.

[LoneWolf]

Do either of these ungrateful kids work while they're going to school? If not, it sounds like they need to be forced to work part-time and go to school so they can begin to appreciate the value of a dollar.

In any case, I would stop sending them money and also stop helping with their tuition. These kids will never appreciate anything if everything is given to them.

[TribalElder]

The debit card comment was on the money. I don't even have any checks now days. Bill pay will print and mail checks so why would I buy them.

Checks mean you have to convert them to cash before they are useful. Either that or deposit them into your account. Is the bank easily accessible at college? Sometimes checks can be a pain in the ass. It's great to have the money but finding time to make it over to the bank before 5 might be challenging. Sat before noon in college, forget about it.

Problem is that this is no longer special it is part of the routine. If they ask you to resend a gift check then the check has become routine and taken for granted. My dad used to spot me some cash here and there in college and it was great. Easy to turn cash into natty light without much effort. A check made me have to cash it at the grocery because I had no bank near. The grocery always took a rip in percentage. Money is always appreciated but I believe the expectation has stepped on the appreciation. Perhaps they could come see you in person when they are home on break to pick up the check.

Do something to break the free money in the mail routine.

[The Iron Chief]

I have to say my kids already do the stash away thing with checks from their Grandparents or a birthday checks etc.
I have to explain to them exactly what your saying and how they(family,friends) expect the money to leave their checking account soon after not 10 months after.
At my kids ages(10)(14) the moneys given for as you called it walk around money..money to go have fun with etc..
I blame that on my lovely wife.
Anyhow at the college age I'd have to agree there are some good ways of looking at it.
You can go to bed at night knowing for absolute sure they are having zero legal problems,gambling problems and most importantly not junkies of any sort beyond weed etc..
But they should cash them soon after then save what they want and say hey Thanks dad!

[EagleRob]

It's a mistake if it happens once as should be humiliating enough to keep it from ever happening a second time out of self-respect and gratitude from the giver. When it happens a second time there has been a demonstrated lack of care. As my idol Gordon Ramsey would say, "YOU, YOU, and YOU! PISS OFF!"

[LoneWolf]

You seem to be wanting to cut them off anyway and looking for CP to justify your reasoning for that. There are plenty of good reasons people have given why they may have not cashed the check but you keep going back to "They're morons and don't deserve this money".

Just cut them off and be done with it.

Nobody has given a good reason for these checks not being cashed.

"I set the check aside and forgot about it"--Bullshit! $100 is a lot of money to a college student.

"I was saving it for when I really needed it"--Great. Get your lazy ass to the bank and deposit it in your savings account.

"Kids don't understand checks anymore"--Your an adult now. Grow the **** up.

"Mom was supposed to cash it for me"--Go **** yourself. Does your Mom wipe your ass for you too.

"The weather was bad and I couldn't get to the bank"--is the bank 100 miles away and you travel by dog sled?

[007]

Nobody has given a good reason for these checks not being cashed.

"I set the check aside and forgot about it"--Bullshit! $100 is a lot of money to a college student.

"I was saving it for when I really needed it"--Great. Get you lazy ass to the bank and deposit it in your savings account.

"Kids don't understand checks anymore"--Your an adult now. Grow the **** up.

"Mom was supposed to cash it for me"--Go **** yourself. Does your Mom wipe your ass for you too.

"The weather was bad and I couldn't get to the bank"--is the bank 100 miles away and you travel by dog sled?
AMEN rep to you!!!!

[EagleRob]

Most major banks allow you to use their smartphone app to snap a photo of the check to deposit it. Making a couple of reasonable assumptions - 1) kids have an account at a large enough bank that gives them ready access to money and 2) they have a smartphone, then they should be able to deposit ten seconds after opening the card.

[Dave Lane]

I want a good explanation like that, but that's not the vibe I'm getting. And I'm suspecting you don't forget about the checks for months, right?

I don't want to get mad at these kids because they're fine kids overall. But ... then they're not really kids now. They just act like it.

I get the feeling they aren't as broke / needy as you think they are. Thats my take.

[Dave Lane]

Some kids just do not get it, blows my mind as well. I would have appreciated 100 bucks so much I would have spent 5 of it on a thank you card and a phone call at the very least, people are just ignorant and rude, really all there is to it.

Yep you are a shining example of your generation. Way to reinforce the stereotype.

[prhom]

While this is pretty ungrateful behavior, there may be an even simpler explanation. It is possible these kids do not have their own bank account and therefore would not be able to cash the checks. It isn't terribly likely, but could explain it. That doesn't excuse them from saying thank you though.

[LoneWolf]

AMEN rep to you!!!!

I just don't understand the apologists in this thread. If these kids aren't working than their lives aren't as busy as many people think. If they are taking 15 credit hours, that's 5 classes. Even if all their classes are on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, that's still only 5 hours of classes each day with every other day off.

We need to start expecting more out of children and hold them to higher standards.

[EagleRob]

I get the feeling they aren't as broke / needy as you think they are. Thats my take.

This. Keep it in perspective - ten percent of college expenses were also covered here too. I'd probably have a direct face-to-face conversation with the family and say that because if the repeated failure to accept money you've gotten the impression that the family no longer needs your financial assistance. Put them in the hot seat, make sure they learn the consequences, and for your own sake make sure you're not just throwing your hard earned money away.

[warpaint*]

Mom was supposed to cash one of them so that's on both of them for being irresponsible (kids for not following up when it didn't happen).

The latter is obviously just the kid being irresponsible.

Whether it's a couple of isolated honest mistakes or indicative of their character only you can say as far as people contributing to this thread.

It also sounds like they weren't taught the notion of gratitude.

I would be annoyed if I were in your shoes. Whether it'd be enough to cause me to stop helping them if they are otherwise good kids I'm not sure.

[Rain Man]

Interesting input, and thanks, all.

The fact that they probably don't go to banks much is certainly a good point. I guess it's possible that I'm old-fashioned and should be sending them Paypal or something, so my checks have an old man stigma to them. But that's just the easiest way for me to pay because I write checks electronically.

They're good kids. One of them goes to college part time and works part time and the other just started college and is looking for work to raise money. However, they're both adults now, not kids, and at some point they shouldn't be getting/needing "birthday money" from me. Now might be the time to have that discussion, just because it's not fun for me to give them checks any more and they're apparently a hassle for them, too. Also, it has become an expected thing, which I think decreases its value to them.

It's hard to buy them gifts because I have no idea what they like or don't like, so I may just go with birthday cards and occasionally send them cash in the mail for walking around money, even if the postal services doesn't like that. It'll even out from a financial perspective and may add a little more spice if they see an occasional Andrew Jackson or Ulysses S. Grant out of the blue.

[WhawhaWhat]

Nobody has given a good reason for these checks not being cashed.

"I set the check aside and forgot about it"--Bullshit! $100 is a lot of money to a college student.

"I was saving it for when I really needed it"--Great. Get your lazy ass to the bank and deposit it in your savings account.

"Kids don't understand checks anymore"--Your an adult now. Grow the **** up.

"Mom was supposed to cash it for me"--Go **** yourself. Does your Mom wipe your ass for you too.

"The weather was bad and I couldn't get to the bank"--is the bank 100 miles away and you travel by dog sled?

Saving it for a rainy day is a good reason. Checks are almost obsolete at this point, so college aged kids not knowing how they work is a valid reason too.

If he doesn't want to worry about the check expiring, then get a gift card and put money on it.

[007]

Saving it for a rainy day is a good reason. Checks are almost obsolete at this point, so college aged kids not knowing how they work is a valid reason too.

If he doesn't want to worry about the check expiring, then get a gift card and put money on it.

bullshit

[warpaint*]

Interesting input, and thanks, all.

The fact that they probably don't go to banks much is certainly a good point. I guess it's possible that I'm old-fashioned and should be sending them Paypal or something, so my checks have an old man stigma to them. But that's just the easiest way for me to pay because I write checks electronically.

They're good kids. One of them goes to college part time and works part time and the other just started college and is looking for work to raise money. However, they're both adults now, not kids, and at some point they shouldn't be getting/needing "birthday money" from me. Now might be the time to have that discussion, just because it's not fun for me to give them checks any more and they're apparently a hassle for them, too. Also, it has become an expected thing, which I think decreases its value to them.

It's hard to buy them gifts because I have no idea what they like or don't like, so I may just go with birthday cards and occasionally send them cash in the mail for walking around money, even if the postal services doesn't like that. It'll even out from a financial perspective and may add a little more spice if they see an occasional Andrew Jackson or Ulysses S. Grant out of the blue.

You are giving to them generously. Honest mistake or not since it happened twice I think if it were me I'd probably still give checks since that's your preferred method and if they don't cash them refuse to reissue it but continue to give otherwise and explain your position as diplomatically as possible. That would teach 'em real quick that you don't appreciate the irresponsibility w/o cutting them off.

90 days to not cash a check is obviously plenty of time. I didn't miss a football game or nearly all of my house's parties while in school and still made decent grades. Know what I mean?

[luv]

Saving it for a rainy day is a good reason. Checks are almost obsolete at this point, so college aged kids not knowing how they work is a valid reason too.

If he doesn't want to worry about the check expiring, then get a gift card and put money on it.

You can't be serious.

[luv]

I would continue writing checks, but not going to the trouble to reissue them. Do NOT send that kind of cash through the mail.

[LoneWolf]

Saving it for a rainy day is a good reason. Checks are almost obsolete at this point, so college aged kids not knowing how they work is a valid reason too.

If he doesn't want to worry about the check expiring, then get a gift card and put money on it.

Your telling me that it is understandable for anyone from ages 18 to 22 to not know how a check works? Give me a fucking break. They obviously know how they work or they wouldn't have used the lame excuses they did.

[WhawhaWhat]

Your telling me that it is understandable for anyone from ages 18 to 22 to not know how a check works? Give me a ****ing break. They obviously know how they work or they wouldn't have used the lame excuses they did.

If they have a job, they probably get paid by direct deposit. Many apartments have rent paid by online payment, as well as utilities.

Sorry to break it to you guys, but the age of the check has passed. I can't think of one thing I have paid with a check in over 5 years.

[Rain Man]

If they have a job, they probably get paid by direct deposit. Many apartments have rent paid by online payment, as well as utilities.

Sorry to break it to you guys, but the age of the check has passed. I can't think of one thing I have paid with a check in over 5 years.

It's a minor difference, but I write the checks via electronic bill pay on my checking account. The thing I find kind of funny is that the bank then prints and mails a check, whether it's to these kids or to the utility company. At least, I think that's how it works. Maybe the big companies have some deal to do it all electronically. At least I hope they do, because it otherwise seems rather inefficient.

[warpaint*]

I use checks to pay the cleaning girls and at church and that's it and even on the latter they have DD available. That's not the point. He is giving a gift. And a very generous one at that. These aren't 5 yr olds. It's on them to be responsible adults and cash them in a reasonable amount of time and if they don't know all the ins and outs of how checks work that's what google is for.

[WhawhaWhat]

I use checks to pay the cleaning girls and at church and that's it and even on the latter they have DD available. That's not the point. He is giving a gift. And a very generous one at that. These aren't 5 yr olds. It's on them to be responsible adults and cash them in a reasonable amount of time and if they don't know all the ins and outs of how checks work that's what google is for.

I would be interested to know if most college aged kids know that checks expire. I didn't know until after college.

[Bugeater]

If they have a job, they probably get paid by direct deposit. Many apartments have rent paid by online payment, as well as utilities.

Sorry to break it to you guys, but the age of the check has passed. I can't think of one thing I have paid with a check in over 5 years.
You're the exception, not the rule. I certainly don't write/receive as many as I used to but I still deal with them frequently.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Between my wife and I, I'll bet we haven't written 20 checks in the last four years. And at least half of them were to Walmart just so we could get cash back without getting charged the ATM fee.

That said, almost any refund I've received from my mortgage, insurance, etc. has been in check form.

I highly doubt these kids don't know how checks work. That's ridiculous.

[trndobrd]

Interesting input, and thanks, all.

The fact that they probably don't go to banks much is certainly a good point. I guess it's possible that I'm old-fashioned and should be sending them Paypal or something, so my checks have an old man stigma to them. But that's just the easiest way for me to pay because I write checks electronically.

They're good kids. One of them goes to college part time and works part time and the other just started college and is looking for work to raise money. However, they're both adults now, not kids, and at some point they shouldn't be getting/needing "birthday money" from me. Now might be the time to have that discussion, just because it's not fun for me to give them checks any more and they're apparently a hassle for them, too. Also, it has become an expected thing, which I think decreases its value to them.

It's hard to buy them gifts because I have no idea what they like or don't like, so I may just go with birthday cards and occasionally send them cash in the mail for walking around money, even if the postal services doesn't like that. It'll even out from a financial perspective and may add a little more spice if they see an occasional Andrew Jackson or Ulysses S. Grant out of the blue.


http://www.cubookstore.com/p-18481-cu-book-store-gift-card.aspx

Problem solved.

[Rain Man]

I would be interested to know if most college aged kids know that checks expire. I didn't know until after college.

Honestly, I didn't even know myself. But that's because, you know, I DON'T LET CHECKS SIT AROUND FOR FOUR MONTHS BEFORE CASHING THEM.

[warpaint*]

I would be interested to know if most college aged kids know that checks expire. I didn't know until after college.

It's not really relevant to my position b/c it's about who the onus of responsibility is incumbent upon in this situation. If someone wrote me a check (in particular as a gift) and I had no idea what to do w/ it or otherwise I'd ask someone or google it.

Really we're just talking about irresponsibility and whether it's reasonable to expect more out of 18-22 yr olds and I think it is - they are adults. The fact that they are not independently financially solvent yet due to being in school doesn't change that fact in my mind.

Now that being said how big a deal is it? That's for Rainman to say. It's his $ that he's being overly generous with.

[007]

Honestly, I didn't even know myself. But that's because, you know, I DON'T LET CHECKS SIT AROUND FOR FOUR MONTHS BEFORE CASHING THEM.

I once had a company successfully cash a check that they misplaced for year. Imagine my surprise when it popped up after all that time.

[luv]

If they have a job, they probably get paid by direct deposit. Many apartments have rent paid by online payment, as well as utilities.

Sorry to break it to you guys, but the age of the check has passed. I can't think of one thing I have paid with a check in over 5 years.

Just because it's passed, doesn't mean someone shouldn't know what one is. That's either an education fail or a parental fail.

[luv]

I would be interested to know if most college aged kids know that checks expire. I didn't know until after college.

Wow. Just wow.

[siberian khatru]

I used to work with a guy, he was about 10-15 years older than me, really nice guy, down-to-earth, unpretentious, but lacked in the personal hygiene department. He was pretty slovenly in his appearance, his home, his car, etc.

He also was really rich. He came from a prominent, wealthy family and basically lived off his trust fund. He would get his paycheck and just toss it in his car or on his kitchen table. I once saw almost a dozen of his uncashed paychecks on the floor in the backseat of his car. It got to the point where the company told him he had to cash those paychecks because it was screwing up their accounting.

[lewdog]

I was just in college a few years ago and no way would I let a check expire. Never did in high school or college. And when someone wrote me a check in high school, it was me taking it to the bank not my mom! If someone gives you a check, and you know the only way to get that money is to go to the bank, you damn well make time to do that during the week.

I would stop your generosity Rain Man. The kids have no clue about financial responsibility and they won't learn about it until that mother lets them start handling their own futures.

And since I am paying off my student loan debt, those check could surely go to me. I would be happy to cash them in short time and pay towards my loans. :)

[Rain Man]

I used to work with a guy, he was about 10-15 years older than me, really nice guy, down-to-earth, unpretentious, but lacked in the personal hygiene department. He was pretty slovenly in his appearance, his home, his car, etc.

He also was really rich. He came from a prominent, wealthy family and basically lived off his trust fund. He would get his paycheck and just toss it in his car or on his kitchen table. I once saw almost a dozen of his uncashed paychecks on the floor in the backseat of his car. It got to the point where the company told him he had to cash those paychecks because it was screwing up their accounting.

Would he have any interest in joining the market research industry? Because I could look past the personal hygiene and accounting issues in light of the "I don't cash my paycheck" philosophy.

[GloryDayz]

Reissue the check for 25% of its original amount.

[LoneWolf]

I would be interested to know if most college aged kids know that checks expire. I didn't know until after college.

That's because you are a ****ing idiot. Is your degree from Phoenix University?

[Rasputin]

I think for the future you should just send them casino cash, you maybe the richest poster on the planet?

[007]

That's because you are a ****ing idiot. Is your degree from Phoenix University?

University of Phoenix dumbass.

[LoneWolf]

University of Phoenix dumbass.

Goddammit! Dumbassery acknowledged.

[WhawhaWhat]

That's because you are a ****ing idiot. Is your degree from Phoenix University?

MIZ

[LoneWolf]

MIZ

Good school with strong academics. You must have Everett Golsoned your way through.

[WhawhaWhat]

Good school with strong academics. You must have Everett Golsoned your way through.

But I didn't end up in Wichita.

[007]

Goddammit! Dumbassery acknowledged.

LMAO

[LoneWolf]

But I didn't end up in Wichita.

Well then, contrary to what I've read in DC, there is a God.

[WhawhaWhat]

Well then, contrary to what I've read in DC, there is a God.

This God fellow must care about me.

[gblowfish]

Donate the money to your local animal shelter on their behalf. That way, you know the money will go for a good cause.

[notorious]

I want a good explanation like that, but that's not the vibe I'm getting. And I'm suspecting you don't forget about the checks for months, right?

I don't want to get mad at these kids because they're fine kids overall. But ... then they're not really kids now. They just act like it.

They are not as poor as you think.

[Molitoth]

Rain Man. I think the most beneficial thing would be to get with the kids and take them out to lunch and explain to them what you have explained to us.

Teach them how to be responsible with their money since their parents obviously don't.

[BossChief]

Seems like these kids are very similar to my youngest brother and sister.

They are both A students and are very book smart, but my dad and step mom have sheltered them so much (and kept them distanced from financial discussions) that even though they are very smart, the real world hits them like a ton of bricks.

IMO once your kid gets to the age where he/she is moving past adolescence, they NEED to be involved in money management talks and get a feel for what happens after all their college.

Otherwise, it's the parents fault when the kids make major mistakes once they are out of school. They had no idea what to expect.

[luv]

Talking to dad about this. He says that they must not need the money if they're not cashing checks. He also thinks you'll start hearing from them if they start getting birthday cards without checks. He's in the stop sending them group of votes.

[ThaVirus]

That's because you are a ****ing idiot. Is your degree from Phoenix University?

You wouldn't know your ABC's if you were never taught , broseph.

[LoneWolf]

You wouldn't know your ABC's if you were never taught , broseph.

Hate to break it to you, holmes, but not everything you know was taught to you by someone else.

[Hootie]

I tell you what

any time I get a birthday check I bust out my smart phone and deposit that mother fucker right into my bank account

[Bugeater]

Talking to dad about this. He says that they must not need the money if they're not cashing checks. He also thinks you'll start hearing from them if they start getting birthday cards without checks. He's in the stop sending them group of votes.
This is pretty much the bottom line right here. And once helping someone out becomes a hassle, it's time to stop. I'm going through a similar situation with a Planeteer that will remain nameless who I am trying to give a vehicle to but is all of sudden unavailable to come pick the damn thing up. You'd think I'd have learned by now.

[LoneWolf]

I tell you what

any time I get a birthday check I bust out my smart phone and deposit that mother ****er right into my bank account

Of course you do. It's quick and easy and gives you more time in your day to continue being awesome.

[Hootie]

Of course you do. It's quick and easy and gives you more time in your day to continue being awesome.

couldn't have said it any better myself

[ThaVirus]

Hate to break it to you, holmes, but not everything you know was taught to you by someone else.

You can make that argument about anything. There is sooooooooo much knowledge out there. It's a bit unreasonable to ask everyone to know everything.

Especially a couple 19 year olds when it comes to some antiquated banking method.

[LoneWolf]

You can make that argument about anything. There is sooooooooo much knowledge out there. It's a bit unreasonable to ask everyone to know everything.

Especially a couple 19 year olds when it comes to some antiquated banking method.

It's not unreasonable to expect college aged kids to cash a check in a reasonable amount of time after receiving it. FFS Hootie knows how to cash a check using his phone. These aren't 14 year olds were talking about.

[ThaVirus]

It's not unreasonable to expect college aged kids to cash a check in a reasonable amount of time after receiving it. FFS Hootie knows how to cash a check using his phone. These aren't 14 year olds were talking about.

I agree. These kids are douchebags and deserve to be cut off.

[Bugeater]

You can make that argument about anything. There is sooooooooo much knowledge out there. It's a bit unreasonable to ask everyone to know everything.

Especially a couple 19 year olds when it comes to some antiquated banking method.
Again, they're not entirely obsolete. If you own a home or run certain types of businesses, you're going to deal with checks. They're not completely going away any time soon.

[Hootie]

are these your godchildren or something? Why are you helping them out?

[Hootie]

you should donate $1000 to me and I promise every time that $1000 leads to me banging a hot slut from the bar I'll take a picture of her naked body, back and front, and send it to you via email

that's not bad for $1000

[ThaVirus]

Again, they're not entirely obsolete. If you own a home or run certain types of businesses, you're going to deal with checks. They're not completely going away any time soon.

I know what you mean; I'm just saying its not unreasonable for young kids not to know all the inner workings of a check.

Shit, we've had a few users in this very thread mention how they haven't written a check in 5 years and yada yada yada. And these are likely people that own homes and businesses and what not.

I think they should be cut off for the general lack of gratitude.

[Bugeater]

I know what you mean; I'm just saying its not unreasonable for young kids not to know all the inner workings of a check.

Shit, we've had a few users in this very thread mention how they haven't written a check in 5 years and yada yada yada. And these are likely people that own homes and businesses and what not.

I think they should be cut off for the general lack of gratitude.
I guess I don't understand how you can own a home and not write checks. If you have to call a plumber out, how do you pay him when he's done? Does everyone keep piles of cash around? Most contractors don't carry credit card swipers so that's rarely an option. You gonna tell them you'll PayPal them? Prepare to get laughed at.

[warpaint*]

I guess I don't understand how you can own a home and not write checks. If you have to call a plumber out, how do you pay him when he's done? Does everyone keep piles of cash around? Most contractors don't carry credit card swipers so that's rarely an option. You gonna tell them you'll PayPal them? Prepare to get laughed at.

You are right, but college age kids don't typically own homes. I think where they come in contact w/ them more than likely over the years is at Christmas and on birthdays when Grandma or whomever is giving gift(s). They aren't all using cash and/or gift cards, especially the older relatives.

I just gave a check to my cousin upon her college graduation last week and she didn't look at me and wonder about this obsolete form of payment and what to do w/ it. I find the notion hard to believe and unlikely. Regardless this really comes down to responsibility. Even if a 18-22 yr old has never seen a check before in his/her entire life looking at one for the very first time it is apparent it is a form of payment and gift in this instance. At that point that adult is responsible for figuring out what to do w/ it (ask someone, google "check", whatever) and then showing some form of gratitude.

[luv]

How can you not understand the "inner workings" of a check? I mean, really? Even if you don't use them, the concept is not complicated. "Inner workings" of a check? LMAO

[ThaVirus]

We just had a guy admit that he didn't know checks expired...

You guys are laughing and talking shit about people that don't know about something that seems so elementary to you because you've had a lot of experience with it. I suspect you'd feel a lot differently if the roles were reversed for something similar. Like, say: changing a tire or a tail light. Do you know how to do that, luv?

[DTLB58]

Stop sending them money and send them each a copy of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.

If they get "it" about money after reading the book then continue to help them. If not, I'd never send them another dime.

I'm with you. I have a 27 year old that is the most frugal kid I've ever met. And my 20 year old, though he has no debt and a savings could be so much more but his GF makes him spend every dime now. Frustrating.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I guess I don't understand how you can own a home and not write checks. If you have to call a plumber out, how do you pay him when he's done? Does everyone keep piles of cash around? Most contractors don't carry credit card swipers so that's rarely an option. You gonna tell them you'll PayPal them? Prepare to get laughed at.

I've had a plumber out, a HVAC repairmen out, a refrigerator repairman, an electrician, a different plumber who did a gas line installation, and a lawn guy out to my house in the last two years. Every one of them was a small, local operation, and every one of them accepted my credit card. One of them had a $60 unit that plugged into his iPhone, took my signature, and emailed me a CC receipt.

And just to show you this isn't a big-city thing, these are all folks I found locally, in my town, population 6,000.

[Bugeater]

We just had a guy admit that he didn't know checks expired...

You guys are laughing and talking shit about people that don't know about something that seems so elementary to you because you've had a lot of experience with it. I suspect you'd feel a lot differently if the roles were reversed for something similar. Like, say: changing a tire or a tail light. Do you know how to do that, luv?
I'll say this much, I just turned 45 yesterday and if personal checks expire after a certain amount of time, that's news to me as well but has never mattered because I don't leave them sitting around for months. I know some business-issued checks have expiration dates printed on them, and IIRC gov't checks do as well. Not sure about the latter because it's been a while since I've received tax refund, I end up owing every damn year.

What I'm taking exception to is the comments such as "antiquated", that makes me think there's a sense among younger people that checks are completely obsolete and there is no situation where they should ever have to deal with one so there's no point in having to understand how they work. They may get away with it when they're young and life is all simple and shit, but it won't always be that way.

[ThaVirus]

And my 20 year old, though he has no debt and a savings could be so much more but his GF makes him spend every dime now. Frustrating.

Women are terrible for your savings account but GREAT for the economy.

[Bugeater]

I've had a plumber out, a HVAC repairmen out, a refrigerator repairman, an electrician, a different plumber who did a gas line installation, and a lawn guy out to my house in the last two years. Every one of them was a small, local operation, and every one of them accepted my credit card. One of them had a $60 unit that plugged into his iPhone, took my signature, and emailed me a CC receipt.

And just to show you this isn't a big-city thing, these are all folks I found locally, in my town, population 6,000.
I am very surprised to hear that. I know it's going to become more common with today's technology but I wasn't aware that it was that widespread already.

[BigRedChief]

I don't get it sometimes either. Maybe they haven't had to struggle or saw the family truly struggle to appreciate the money?

My son couldn't register for a college class online for some technical reason, he forgot to go back in and get registered so he had to take it the class across town on an inconvient date and time.

He would get a full refund of all tax money on his return but he kept forgetting to file. We reminded him several times. He needed the money to do some repairs on his car we wern't going to pay. So how does those two examples make sense? He was the only one that would be hurt and benefit.

Back in my day.....

[ThaVirus]

I'll say this much, I just turned 45 yesterday and if personal checks expire after a certain amount of time, that's news to me as well but has never mattered because I don't leave them sitting around for months. I know some business-issued checks have expiration dates printed on them, and IIRC gov't checks do as well. Not sure about the latter because it's been a while since I've received tax refund, I end up owing every damn year.

What I'm taking exception to is the comments such as "antiquated", that makes me think there's a sense among younger people that checks are completely obsolete and there is no situation where they should ever have to deal with one so there's no point in having to understand how they work. They may get away with it when they're young and life is all simple and shit, but it won't always be that way.

LMAO You know, I was actually thinking that as well. I don't know shit about checks, to be honest with you. I got my first bank account when I got my first job at 17. They gave me a packet full of information that also contained some amount of personal checks for me to write and I have literally not touched them since I got them 6 years ago.

I'm 23 now and still renting my apartment. I used a cashier's check to buy my car and sometimes use cashier's checks to pay my rent (I've done this maybe 3 times total in my life), although I can easily pay it online. Whenever I pay for things, I either use cash, my debit card, a credit card, or, in the case of setting up recurring payments for things like my electric and cable/internet I'll link it up to take it out of my checking account using my routing number..

I'm the young whippersnapper that used the word "antiquated", and honestly, I still stand by it. Like I said, I've gone through my life pretty well without using checks. Is it easy to learn? Yes. Should you know how to use them? Yes. But, as I mentioned to luv earlier, you can say that about a lot of things. I don't see the need to be condescending when someone has little experience with something that you know well..

[SAUTO]

I write at least a check a day. Most days quite a bit more than that
Posted via Mobile Device

[Fire Me Boy!]

I write at least a check a day. Most days quite a bit more than that
Posted via Mobile Device

Jesus. Why?

[SAUTO]

Jesus. Why?

Suppliers. I have a parts truck that brings parts from dealerships in kc every day. Sometimes five different dealers. A tire truck that delivers tires every day, another one that comes three days a week, a company that brings bulk washer and antifreeze, another that brings bulk oil, one that picks up used tires.I write the parts stores a check every week


And I pay as I go. Because that's the way I like it.
Posted via Mobile Device

[BigRedChief]

I write at least a check a day. Most days quite a bit more than that
Posted via Mobile DeviceI've written about 5 checks since 1999. I've been using Quicken.

[SAUTO]

I've written about 5 checks since 1999. I've been using Quicken.

I like to write them out, makes me feel better about it lol.
Posted via Mobile Device

[TribalElder]

Instead of writing a guy a check to pick up your used tires you should just have a weekly tire fire and scrap the steel belting. lol

[SAUTO]

Instead of writing a guy a check to pick up your used tires you should just have a weekly tire fire and scrap the steel belting. lol

Even down here I would get in trouble lol.

I have to keep records of tires in and out too lmao
Posted via Mobile Device

[luv]

We just had a guy admit that he didn't know checks expired...

You guys are laughing and talking shit about people that don't know about something that seems so elementary to you because you've had a lot of experience with it. I suspect you'd feel a lot differently if the roles were reversed for something similar. Like, say: changing a tire or a tail light. Do you know how to do that, luv?

Yes, I do. And I've had to do both. I've lived on my own most of my adult life.

And filling out a check, knowing how I need to endorse one, knowing that it represents actual money, and knowing that I need to either deposit it or cash it to get money is a little less complicated than changing a tire (especially when you've got locking lug nuts), but maybe slightly more complicated than changing a tail light. ;)

[007]

I love it when people are scared to death to purchase something with a credit card online but don't think about the fact that when you write a check you just gave your full bank account number to somebody.

[ThaVirus]

Yes, I do. And I've had to do both. I've lived on my own most of my adult life.

And filling out a check, knowing how I need to endorse one, knowing that it represents actual money, and knowing that I need to either deposit it or cash it to get money is a little less complicated than changing a tire (especially when you've got licking lug nuts), but maybe slightly more complicated than changing a tail light. ;)

lol..

I think they're both equally easy (in theory- not the actual process). I've had to fill out checks for work in the past and have changed more tires than I care to remember. Now I get a chuckle out of hearing about people that don't know how to do either; but I also know how helpless I was before I had actually learned how to do either so I try not to be too hard on people.

[luv]

lol..

I think they're both equally easy (in theory- not the actual process). I've had to fill out checks for work in the past and have changed more tires than I care to remember. Now I get a chuckle out of hearing about people that don't know how to do either; but I also know how helpless I was before I had actually learned how to do either so I try not to be too hard on people.

Eh, I shouldn't have laughed, I guess. Just the thought of a check having inner workings makes it sound like its some complicated task. I guess it might be if you've never seen one before. I do agree with Bugeater that they are far from obsolete. Just because you've never used them before doesn't mean others don't use them everyday.

Are you old enough to remember VHS?

[ThaVirus]

Eh, I shouldn't have laughed, I guess. Just the thought of a check having inner workings makes it sound like its some complicated task. I guess it might be if you've never seen one before. I do agree with Bugeater that they are far from obsolete. Just because you've never used them before doesn't mean others don't use them everyday.

Are you old enough to remember VHS?

LMAO Oh yes. I think we made the switch to DVDs when I was about 8 or 9.

[ThaVirus]

I meant "antiquated" more in the old-fashioned sense rather than worthless.

[BigRedChief]

Yes, I do. And I've had to do both. I've lived on my own most of my adult life.

And filling out a check, knowing how I need to endorse one, knowing that it represents actual money, and knowing that I need to either deposit it or cash it to get money is a little less complicated than changing a tire (especially when you've got locking lug nuts), but maybe slightly more complicated than changing a tail light. ;)I have roadside assistance. Fuck getting out along the highway to change a tire and some dumbass runs me over. What a shit way to die.

[jspchief]

If if you enjoy giving to them, forget about the posts about "punishing" them or talking to them about it. If you feel they've reached an age where they should no longer receive money, simply stop putting money in the card.

As for the check issue, have you considered preloaded debit cards? I know you can get Amex gift cards that have the flexibility of being used anywhere Amex is accepted.

Sounds like you need to examine why you are doing the giving, and if you are going to continue, adapt a little to their lifestyles.

[notorious]

I write at least a check a day. Most days quite a bit more than that
Posted via Mobile Device

This.


I have complete control by writing a check.

[notorious]

I love it when people are scared to death to purchase something with a credit card online but don't think about the fact that when you write a check you just gave your full bank account number to somebody.

It's different.


You can't purchase things (legally) with just the account number and routing off of a check. A card has everything a thief needs to go bananas.