I Want to Embarrass One of My Groomsmen at My W-Reception,Would Like Your Suggestions

[rico]

So I got married in Vegas a few weeks ago. Vegas is one backwards-ass city. Had a lot of fun.

So we are having the wedding reception in a few weeks and I am having my groomsmen choose a song to be played when they enter the room and approach the head table with the bridesmaids. I am sure all of you know are aware of what groomsmen entrance songs at wedding receptions are, so no further description necessary.

To say the least, this has been a frustrating process. Most of them have been putting WAY too much time and effort into it. It has been like "pulling teeth" trying to get them to choose the "perfect song."

One of my groomsmen was so conflicted and inde-freaking-cisive in terms of what song he should choose, that he sent this text to me today, "I have my song narrowed down to a few, but can't decide. Can you just think of something cool for me? I know I can count on you for that. Thanks, rico."

PERFECT

I replied with, "sure thing, man. You can count on me! I will come up with something that I know will fit you." That was a bunch of bullshit. Oh, you bet your ass that I am going to attempt to select the perfect song for him. But it's going to be perfect "funny," not perfect "fitting." And no one (including him obviously), with an exception of the DJ, is going to know what the song is until it is actually played when he enters the building and makes his way to the head table.

This particular groomsman, is a friend of mine from college. We were roommates for a couple years. He is a stereotypical hill-rod who literally spends all day listening to the pop-country FM stations on the radio while he dinks around the house doing random shit. He is kind of big and burly, was a successful wrestler in HS, speaks with a gruff voice (like he's growling) and grew up on a farm. He and I CONSTANTLY razz each other when we hang out. We have done this from the first day we met. Constantly giving each other shit. Constantly making fun of each other...about everything. With that said, I am surprised as hell that he actually trusts me with this task.

He is also an obnoxious, biased, tunnel-visioned Chicago White Sox and Dallas Cowboys fan. Hell, I won't be surprised if he is wearing his dumb, goofy-looking adjustable Chicago White Sox cap during pre-reception pictures and during the entire reception. I rarely see him not wearing that damn hat. He's had it for years too. I don't know if there are any songs out there that would piss a White Sox or Cowboys fan off, but if there is one..let me know!!!

Ok, so if this guy chose his own song, it would probably something that I personally would consider to be stupid as hell. Something like: "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney or "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. However, he made the unwise decision to put his "song of choice" in my hands. And as a result, his entrance at my wedding reception is going to be awesome.

So what y'all got? So far, I am stuck on the song below, but will gladly change it if you guys are able to suggest something better. Think of something CORNY as hell that would embarrass a hill-rod.Thanks in advance!!!

And please. No, "Barbie Girl" song. I've actually witnessed dudes enter a reception with that song because they wanted to be perceived as funny. I don't want this guy to come off as trying to be funny. I want 99% of the people there to think he is gay (NTTAWWT), not funny....because that would razz the hell out of him.

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[Hammock Parties]

It's Raining Men

Have You Heard About The Lonesome Loser

Deeesperaaadooooooo

Break My Stride (this is super gay)

[J Diddy]

oh me so horny

[rico]

It's Raining Men

Have You Heard About The Lonesome Loser

Deeesperaaadooooooo

Break My Stride (this is super gay)

Holy shit, your a fast reader/typer. Those sound pretty gay. I'll have to check into them.

[Hammock Parties]

I mean holy shit.

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Also:

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[rico]

I mean holy shit.

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Also:

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Lol, the tulips one is great. My 2 year old daughter loved this song when I played it a couple seconds ago. My fave one yet.

[corn fed chief]

+1 for Break My Stride. It's Raining Men would get more laughs but Break My Stride isn't such an obvious choice.

[Dante84]

Relax, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Its about gay sex, for christ's sake

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[NewChief]

When I want to be obnoxious and ironic on ridiculous song selection "Wind beneath my wings" is my goto.

[AustinChief]

You really should just go with a classic.


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Though Break My Stride is definitely a great one.

[rico]

Great...my 2 year old throws a fit if I attempt to close out the Tulips video. I've probably listened to it 5 times now because she seriously has become so pissed every time I tried to exit the vid.

[CrazyPhuD]

Gay is too easy you need to use something like this!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wv-34w8kGPM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[AustinChief]

Of course, anything by Culture Club will work...

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[rico]

When I want to be obnoxious and ironic on ridiculous song selection "Wind beneath my wings" is my goto.


Haha, that is a good "go to."

Relax, by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Its about gay sex, for christ's sake

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Haha, I didn't know that. Is that song generally known by most people to be a gay song?

[Dante84]

Well, you could just cut straight to the chase and loop & repeat this video:

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[Silock]

Take a picture of him with his dick in your mouth to show everyone how gay he is /south park

[In58men]

Bold the important parts.

[CrazyPhuD]

LOL here's another good choice....

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[AustinChief]

ok ok, if you get to show the video then this one is a classic!

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[rico]

Hell, his own choices sound embarrassing.

They are, but in rural, redneck Iowa...it's cool.

[AustinChief]

If you want to go with the gay cowboy theme.. go all out and go with inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love

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I wanna go two steppin',
With a good lookin' big black buck,
I want him to come and pick me up in his chevrolet pick-up truck,
And when we're on the dance floor his hat will rise high above,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Tall of course dark and handsome,
A gentlemen in every way,
A true cow poke in every sense of the word,
We really go to work in the hay.

A bronc bustin' bull ridin' tiger,
Yet peaceful as a dove,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love,

I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Yeah I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

[CrazyPhuD]

Another choice for the 'subtle' gay....

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[rico]

If you want to go with the gay cowboy theme.. go all out and go with inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YTZLpPO2gM4?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I wanna go two steppin',
With a good lookin' big black buck,
I want him to come and pick me up in his chevrolet pick-up truck,
And when we're on the dance floor his hat will rise high above,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Tall of course dark and handsome,
A gentlemen in every way,
A true cow poke in every sense of the word,
We really go to work in the hay.

A bronc bustin' bull ridin' tiger,
Yet peaceful as a dove,
It's inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love,

I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

Yeah I know that us as a couple,
Will cause talk but I wouldn't mind,
Those cowboys will be pea green with envy,
When they see his cute behind.

That's why each night by the campfire,
I thank my lucky stars above,
For inter-racial cowboy homo kind of love.

LMAO, love RHH. I remember hearing "Martini Time" on The Tonight Show in the 90's and I tried finding friends at my school who had seen it or heard of RHH and there was no one. To be honest, I've never seen people reference RHH until venturing to this board.

That song would be fitting for his style and the gay lyrics and all. I'm just worried no one would be able to decipher the lyrics while their is clapping and such taking place.

[rico]

Another choice for the 'subtle' gay....

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Lol, my friend is so out of the loop when it comes to "anything other than pop country" music that he probably would literally feel as if he were a macho man, entering the building to that song. In a gruff voice/hillbilly accent he'd be like, "thanks Swaff. That wasn't country, but it fits me pretty well." And he'd be serious for he is narcissistic as hell. He thinks he's macho.

[AustinChief]

LMAO, love RHH. I remember hearing "Martini Time" on The Tonight Show in the 90's and I tried finding friends at my school who had seen it or heard of RHH and there was no one. To be honest, I've never seen people reference RHH until venturing to this board.

That song would be fitting for his style and the gay lyrics and all. I'm just worried no one would be able to decipher the lyrics while their is clapping and such taking place.

True, it wouldn't have the immediate impact of something like a Rick Roll but if it was loud enough it would certainly have the "did I just hear that!!!" effect. "Black buck? Homo? What the?"

[CrazyPhuD]

Lol, my friend is so out of the loop when it comes to "anything other than pop country" music that he probably would literally feel as if he were a macho man, entering the building to that song. In a gruff voice/hillbilly accent he'd be like, "thanks Swaff. That wasn't country, but it fits me pretty well." And he'd be serious for he is narcissistic as hell. He thinks he's macho.

ROFL If you showed the video I'm pretty sure he'd get it!

[rico]

True, it wouldn't have the immediate impact of something like a Rick Roll but if it was loud enough it would certainly have the "did I just hear that!!!" effect. "Black buck? Homo? What the?"

Haha, I didn't think of it that way. That's a pretty good point.

Btw, per your suggestion, I downloaded a bunch of Elvis Costello. Love it! The wife hates it, so I have to play it when she's not around, but I freaking love it. Thanks for referring the songs you did!

[AustinChief]

Haha, I didn't think of it that way. That's a pretty good point.

Btw, per your suggestion, I downloaded a bunch of Elvis Costello. Love it! The wife hates it, so I have to play it when she's not around, but I freaking love it. Thanks for referring the songs you did!

Awesome! Yeah I have another buddy I introduced to EC about 15 years ago and his wife blames me for his obsession to this day.

[nstygma]

whatever you end up with, have the DJ mix in a little bit of this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

[Baby Lee]

Sounds like someone is begging to be Rick rolled.

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[rico]

Sounds like someone is begging to be Rick rolled.

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Lol, I don't mean to sound gay or anything, but I think Rick Astley is bad ass!

For real. Loved that song when my mom blared it when I was a kid.

As far as the reception entrance potential...I think it would have been a better option had the "Rick roll" not become so popular. When the crowd hears that, they'll think, "oh haha, Rick-roll" instead of thinking, "hmm I wonder if that guy is gay?"

[Baby Lee]

Lol, I don't mean to sound gay or anything, but I think Rick Astley is bad ass!

For real. Loved that song when my mom blared it when I was a kid.

As far as the reception entrance potential...I think it would have been a better option had the "Rick roll" not become so popular. When the crowd hears that, they'll think, "oh haha, Rick-roll" instead of thinking, "hmm I wonder if that guy is gay?"

Sorry, I missed that homosexual suggest was mandatory.

Then I have 8 words for you,

'At first I was afraid, I was petrified.'

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If you have the video capabilities, the Icona Pop scene from Girls might do the trick

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[rico]

Sorry, I missed that homosexual suggest was mandatory.

Then I have 8 words for you,

'At first I was afraid, I was petrified.'

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZBR2G-iI3-I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>



If you have the video capabilities, the Icona Pop scene from Girls might do the trick

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-qMplFDm_ZA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

NICE suggestion on both, but Icona Pop in particular. Those girls are gonna be at Lolla this year...I will probably watching a different concert, so will miss them, but yeah...I'm familiar with them and think that would be hilarious.

[rico]

CP has awesome gay suggestions. I knew I could count on you guys for that! :)

[rico]

Sorry, I missed that homosexual suggest was mandatory.


Yes, it is mandatory. And not because I personally have anything against the gay community. I have a gay cousin, gay acquaintances...they've been nothing, but nice to me. So whatever they choose to put their thang in is fine with me as long as they aren't Dahmers and as long as their not trying to put their thang near me...which doesn't seem to be a problem.

However, it is mandatory because my hick-friend is not homophobic...but he's definitely more gay-apprehensive than he should be. He is very ignorant when it comes to gay people. As mentioned, he is narcissistic and literally feels that if a person is gay, that means they automatically crave his buns.

He definitely doesn't want to be affiliated with anything gay...so finding something gay for him to enter to is a necessity...anything to make him cringe from embarrassment.

[rico]

How bout this:

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[Baby Lee]

NICE suggestion on both, but Icona Pop in particular. Those girls are gonna be at Lolla this year...I will probably watching a different concert, so will miss them, but yeah...I'm familiar with them and think that would be hilarious.

Maybe you could give him a seating placard that instead of his name had '90's bitch' on it.

[Baby Lee]

Yes, it is mandatory. And not because I personally have anything against the gay community. I have a gay cousin, gay acquaintances...they've been nothing, but nice to me. So whatever they choose to put their thang in is fine with me as long as they aren't Dahmers and as long as their not trying to put their thang near me...which doesn't seem to be a problem.

However, it is mandatory because my hick-friend is not homophobic...but he's definitely more gay-apprehensive than he should be. He is very ignorant when it comes to gay people. As mentioned, he is narcissistic and literally feels that if a person is gay, that means they automatically crave his buns.

He definitely doesn't want to be affiliated with anything gay...so finding something gay for him to enter to is a necessity...anything to make him cringe from embarrassment.

I wasn't suggesting anything, just explaining that I initially thought you were just going for cheesy and embarrassing, not knowing that the gay part was your central aim.

I would suggest 'Under Pressure' but it's a little to solemn for actual homosexuals to be outright gutbusting funny.




Also, that's why the video is so necessary on Icona Pop, the song is not overtly gay, but Andrew Rennells is as gay as flipflops on Fire Island.

[AustinChief]

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Can't get much gayer than this...

[Baby Lee]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fbGkxcY7YFU#t=40s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Can't get much gayer than this...

You have lived a SHELTERED life. ROFL ROFL ROFL

I think you meant 'can't get much more overtly gay.'

[Simply Red]

Holy shit, your a fast reader/typer. Those sound pretty gay. I'll have to check into them.

he's like that when he wears his X-Wing Tee.

[rico]

he's like that when he wears his X-Wing Tee.

Haha, where's the "fyp?"

Edit: Nevermind, I forgot I typed that last part and what it was pertaining to.

[rico]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fbGkxcY7YFU#t=40s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Can't get much gayer than this...

LMAO This would be perfect if there weren't going to be a bunch of Churchy family members in attendance.

[mlyonsd]

Retro - Jimmy Cagney. Yankee Doodle Dandy.

[rico]

Retro - Jimmy Cagney. Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Haha, nice...

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[rico]

I have no idea how I or anyone else hadn't thought of this until now.

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[mlyonsd]

Haha, nice...

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/StDpLge_ITM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>LOL, that's the one. If you could cut it in at about 1:20 I know that would embarrass the shit out of me.

[Dayze]

Talk about all the fun times you had that time with the hookers and blow

[DaKCMan AP]

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[NewChief]

If you want to be offensive as hell:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-s-wzTRwJMg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[DaKCMan AP]

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[Dayze]

Thomas Dolbys "She Blinded Me With Science"

[mlyonsd]

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[DaKCMan AP]

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[DaKCMan AP]

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[rico]

Talk about all the fun times you had that time with the hookers and blow

Haha, after the entrance and it's time to give speeches, he'll probably be tempted to make some shit up like that about me. I may wanna watch out a bit.... Haha, nahhh...I'll just take the "It Wasn't Me" Shaggy approach to a predicament like that.

[rico]

Lol, wow some good ones being posted.

I have officially changed my mind from Paula Abdul, "Straight Up," to the "Tulip Song," to Icona Pop, to "I'm Every Woman," to considering Yankee Doodle Dandee, to "Dancing Queen." I can't imagine anything that can pass "Dancing Queen."

[CrazyPhuD]

This one isn't terribly subtle....

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[Braincase]

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OG3PnQ3tgzY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Everybody likes Tacos.

[beach tribe]

No bieber?

[Shogun]

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[rico]

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Oh how I despise Nickelback. Unfortunately though, if this guy were to listen to a rock band instead of a country band, it would probably be Nickelback. Not to mention, the crowd will likely generally like Nickelback. Rural/small-town Iowans. This "reminds me." I need to write the DJ an email and demand NO NICKELBACK. My wife hates them as much or more than I do...we are rare for our area because Nickelback is one of the most requested at our local receptions/parties/bars. Yuck.

[rico]

* Side note about this groomsman: I've mentioned a couple times that he is extremely narcissistic. This may give you an idea of the extent of his narcissism. Every time my friends and I sat around and talked in depth about women, girlfriends, etc. His advice/answer to EVERYTHING, in his growly ass voice was "just let her suck ya off and she'll be happy." As if women LOVE to do that.

The funny thing was that he LITERALLY believed that an appropriate, helpful piece of advice to something random with your girlfriend would be that line. Let's say, you are like, "ahh man, I am so bummed. My girlfriend won't even talk to me." Dude would be like, "let her such ya off. It's that simple. Things will work out fine if ya just let her suck ya off."

It became one of our catch phrases in our group of friends...similar to the catch-phrases used in here. If we ever had a chance to drop that line, we would...in our growly ass voices trying to mimic him. And we'd do it right in front of him and he wouldn't know we were joking around OR mimicking his voice. He'd just be sitting there nodding his head and would be like, "yup, that's exactly what ya do!" And would be stone-cold serious about it.

Haha, dude is a trip.

[Baby Lee]

This one isn't terribly subtle....

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Great Howard Stern costume.

like 5 people alive get that reference [as in it's source].

[AussieChiefsFan]

I mean holy shit.
Also:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uxFOOEOlBF8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>My god that would be hilarious. ROFL

Rico, please, whatever song you choose, you HAVE GOT TO film this. LMAO

[rico]

My god that would be hilarious. ROFL

Rico, please, whatever song you choose, you HAVE GOT TO film this. LMAO

:) Plannin' on it, mang.

[rico]

Haha, you guys may razz me about the song I chose for myself, but the people at the reception will "get it":

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Nx64_N4AA04" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[crazycoffey]

Has "cream" or "purple rain" both by prince been suggested yet? Because they seem worthy suggestions...

[Fire Me Boy!]

It's got to be Tiny Tim with Tiptoe Through the Tulips or Dancing Queen. And my vote's for Tulips.

[crazycoffey]

Well my daddy left home when I was three, didn't leave much for mom and me.....

[crazycoffey]

Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze...

[crazycoffey]

Frank Zappa's, "valley girl", tasty choice

[UK_Chief]

YMCA??

In the Navy??

[rico]

YMCA??

In the Navy??

Dude won't get it. He'll think I picked it for him because he looks like he spends time at the YMCA and because I mistakenly thought he was in the NAVY, not the National Guard (dude was in National Guard). I'm wanting something that will immediately go, "wtf is this shit?!?!" right when he begins walking.

[rico]

It's got to be Tiny Tim with Tiptoe Through the Tulips or Dancing Queen. And my vote's for Tulips.

The Tulips one is amazing...leaning towards Dancing Queen, but Tulips isn't out of the question. I change my mind frequently.

[AussieChiefsFan]

The Tulips one is amazing...leaning towards Dancing Queen, but Tulips isn't out of the question. I change my mind frequently.If the tulips song played in public, I would instantly crack up laughing. ROFL

[griZZly64]

dancing queen is perfect.. close this thread

[Braincase]

If he's a country-pop guy, tag him with "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain.

[OmahaChief]

dude looks like a lady

[mdchiefsfan]

If he's a country-pop guy, tag him with "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain.

This would be pretty good ROFL

[bevischief]

Gay is too easy you need to use something like this!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wv-34w8kGPM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

This.

[KC Jones]

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[Joe Seahawk]

He could enter the room doing the weird hop with hands on his knees. ROFL


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[rico]

If he's a country-pop guy, tag him with "Man, I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain.

Hmmmm, you've got me thinking with this one. This is an awesome suggestion for this dude.

[Dave Lane]

Don't show up, flee to Mexico. Make him marry your fiance.

You will thank me for this advise later, probably in under 7 years.

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

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[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

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[allen_kcCard]

Was thinking of some songs I saw at my daughters dance competitions....one that came to mind it Bobblehead by Aguilara:

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[CleveSteve]

Obviously late to the party, and can't see the YouTube clips at work, but I'd suggest:

Anything by Erasure (chains of love, take a chance on me)
Anything by WHAM!
Dancing Queen is a terrific suggestion

What about that "My neck... my back... my p*ssy and my crack" song?

[morphius]

I think one of the keys, if you do something he knows, is to have it start playing something he will dig so he comes out all pumped up, and then switch it part way through. Sort of like doing the intro or guitar piece of the song so he comes out dancing and mid step/beat switch to, "I feel like a woman"...

[rico]

I think one of the keys, if you do something he knows, is to have it start playing something he will dig so he comes out all pumped up, and then switch it part way through. Sort of like doing the intro or guitar piece of the song so he comes out dancing and mid step/beat switch to, "I feel like a woman"...

Haha, his expression when the music is switched would be priceless. In mid-stride, he'd probably get a disgusted look on his face and in his growly voice, be like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!"

[WhawhaWhat]

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[rico]

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[rico]

I sent the song list to the DJ today. Anyone want to take a stab at what I selected? It was one of your suggestions, not my own.

[mlyonsd]

Dancing Queen.

[rico]

Winner-winner-chicken-dinner:

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And I have to admit, I've played this song so many times for my daughter now that I actually kind of like it and think it's funny. My friend will HATE it though. I'm going to tell him that he is entering to "Thunderstruck" by ACDC or "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. Boy is he going to be embarrassed.

[Shogun]

Good choice

[CrazyPhuD]

Can you put a pink spotlight on him as he enters?

[rico]

Can you put a pink spotlight on him as he enters?

That is an AWESOME suggestion. I most certainly will find out.

[TimBone]

So how did this turn out?

[Dayze]

it turns out midgets have a much lower tolerance of cocaine than a normal person.

and it turns out, the groomsman's kids didn't think that story was as cool as he originally thought.

[ghak99]

So how did this turn out?

I hope he bolds the important parts.

[Phobia]

I had 3 hours to kill so I clicked in expecting a Rico update.

[Dayze]

I had 3 hours to kill so I clicked in expecting a Rico update.

LMAO

[ChiefRocka]

What what in the butt...

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Busy making Lil ricos

[SAUTO]

In my experience midgets have more of a tolerance than non midgets.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Then the midgets

[rico]

So how did this turn out?

Ya know, I always imagined myself having a less boring wedding reception...I mean, it was alright, but damn it was so freaking hot in that gym we held it in. I couldn't wait to get to the bar. My friend just became all red-faced when he learned that "Tiptoe through the Tulips" was played. I got laid that night...that was sweet.


I had 3 hours to kill so I clicked in expecting a Rico update.

Here is my update: I am not a huge fan of the holidays...Thanksgiving/Christmas + way too many birthdays including my own. The holidays would be more tolerable if it weren't for the fact that I am in the thick of nursing school right now. I have never been more busy and/or stressed out in my life. This nursing shit is no joke, man. I have a newfound respect for my mother (she's a nurse)...not that I didn't respect her before, I just now know via experience what she went through for our family. It's tough. Majoring in Psychology at a private school was a horrendous decision.

Oh, and I will be the commentator for local wrestling meets on the radio. Pretty pumped about this gig, but nervous...first meet is Thursday. Real nervous that I am going to blank out and have awkward silences while trying to announce the meet.


I hope he bolds the important parts.

Not a chance. I have a difficult time deciphering what is important in what I post....not ever real sure there's anything of importance there.... Ya kno wut I'm sayn?



Busy making Lil ricos

This isn't false. We had a miscarriage a couple months ago...funny thing is, I know EXACTLY when I conceived this one... The only time I blew my load in my wife leading to the day she found out she was prego, was the night of the Kansas City vs. San Fransisco exhibition game. It was the second time I had ever been to KC/Arrowhead, with the other time being 49ers 2010. This dude I graduated with is the son of the owner of the guy who does the pyrotechnics/fireworks at Arrowhead. So we had some pimp seats, right where the fire and flames flare up...this guy's dad is the one responsible for the flames and we had those seats so his son could observe the pyrotechnics. We rolled in KC in a Hummer. I would have felt like one cool motor-scooter if it hadn't been for the fact that I remember how much of a doofus this guy was in high school. Just a total dumbass, but a generous one....he paid for our tickets, transportation, beer, everything. It was his "wedding gift" for us. Anyways, I got real drunk and blew my load in my wife that night and impregnated her and then she had a miscarriage. I was really freaking out when I found out she was pregnant...have a lot on my plate right now...nursing school, work, a 1 year old a 2 year old, wrestling....I was trippin.'

In my experience midgets have more of a tolerance than non midgets.
Posted via Mobile Device

it turns out midgets have a much lower tolerance of cocaine than a normal person.

and it turns out, the groomsman's kids didn't think that story was as cool as he originally thought.



Then the midgets

I don't get it. Do you guys think I am a coked out midget? If so, how did I give that vibe? I can see you guys thinking I'm coked out...I understand that perception of me being hyper and long-winded, but a midget? Haha, funny shit. Speaking of midgets, I've been on a huge Austin Powers kick the last couple months...heard there is a 4th one being made. I love those movies. Mini-me is funny. I can't believe Verne Troyer hasn't died yet. Don't midgets that are like really, really midgeted out like Verne Troyer generally live shorter lives? I will bet anyone that Verne Troyer goes before John Goodman. Not that that's saying much...John Goodman is indestructible.

[Phobia]

Life expectancy is a really broad thing dependent on a number of variables. But in general, little people live 10 years less than regularly sized people simply because they have more health issues.

[rico]

Life expectancy is a really broad thing dependent on a number of variables. But in general, little people live 10 years less than regularly sized people simply because they have more health issues.

Icic.

[rico]

Life expectancy is a really broad thing dependent on a number of variables. But in general, little people live 10 years less than regularly sized people simply because they have more health issues.

Who do you think will last longer between Verne Troyer and Wee-Man from Jackass? Wee-man just appears to be a healthier midget to me. I think it will be Wee-man.

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Boink his wife.

That would be epic!

[rico]

Boink his wife.

That would be epic!

I'm confused. I'm not sure if you want me to boink Wee Man's wife, Verne Troyer's wife, Phobia's wife or if you want someone to boink my wife. Please do not boink my wife. That would not be epic, homeslice.

[Groves]

Ya know, I always imagined myself having a less boring wedding reception...I mean, it was alright, but damn it was so freaking hot in that gym we held it in. I couldn't wait to get to the bar. My friend just became all red-faced when he learned that "Tiptoe through the Tulips" was played. I got laid that night...that was sweet.




Here is my update: I am not a huge fan of the holidays...Thanksgiving/Christmas + way too many birthdays including my own. The holidays would be more tolerable if it weren't for the fact that I am in the thick of nursing school right now. I have never been more busy and/or stressed out in my life. This nursing shit is no joke, man. I have a newfound respect for my mother (she's a nurse)...not that I didn't respect her before, I just now know via experience what she went through for our family. It's tough. Majoring in Psychology at a private school was a horrendous decision.

Oh, and I will be the commentator for local wrestling meets on the radio. Pretty pumped about this gig, but nervous...first meet is Thursday. Real nervous that I am going to blank out and have awkward silences while trying to announce the meet.




Not a chance. I have a difficult time deciphering what is important in what I post....not ever real sure there's anything of importance there.... Ya kno wut I'm sayn?





This isn't false. We had a miscarriage a couple months ago...funny thing is, I know EXACTLY when I conceived this one... The only time I blew my load in my wife leading to the day she found out she was prego, was the night of the Kansas City vs. San Fransisco exhibition game. It was the second time I had ever been to KC/Arrowhead, with the other time being 49ers 2010. This dude I graduated with is the son of the owner of the guy who does the pyrotechnics/fireworks at Arrowhead. So we had some pimp seats, right where the fire and flames flare up...this guy's dad is the one responsible for the flames and we had those seats so his son could observe the pyrotechnics. We rolled in KC in a Hummer. I would have felt like one cool motor-scooter if it hadn't been for the fact that I remember how much of a doofus this guy was in high school. Just a total dumbass, but a generous one....he paid for our tickets, transportation, beer, everything. It was his "wedding gift" for us. Anyways, I got real drunk and blew my load in my wife that night and impregnated her and then she had a miscarriage. I was really freaking out when I found out she was pregnant...have a lot on my plate right now...nursing school, work, a 1 year old a 2 year old, wrestling....I was trippin.'









I don't get it. Do you guys think I am a coked out midget? If so, how did I give that vibe? I can see you guys thinking I'm coked out...I understand that perception of me being hyper and long-winded, but a midget? Haha, funny shit. Speaking of midgets, I've been on a huge Austin Powers kick the last couple months...heard there is a 4th one being made. I love those movies. Mini-me is funny. I can't believe Verne Troyer hasn't died yet. Don't midgets that are like really, really midgeted out like Verne Troyer generally live shorter lives? I will bet anyone that Verne Troyer goes before John Goodman. Not that that's saying much...John Goodman is indestructible.

Dude. I don't think you've got anything to worry about at that wrestling match.

[SAUTO]

My buddy fought last weekend and "tip toe through the tulips" was his entrance music.

He won thank God
Posted via Mobile Device

[rico]

Dude. I don't think you've got anything to worry about at that wrestling match.

That's what my wife says. I don't know though...under pressure, I could go full Matty Melt.

My buddy fought last weekend and "tip toe through the tulips" was his entrance music.

He won thank God
Posted via Mobile Device

That is fucking awesome, Mr. Sauto.

[SAUTO]

That's what my wife says. I don't know though...under pressure, I could go full Matty Melt.



That is fucking awesome, Mr. Sauto. it was. Everyone that wasn't with us was like "wtf?"
Posted via Mobile Device

[rico]

it was. Everyone that wasn't with us was like "wtf?"
Posted via Mobile Device

I would have been prancing around and singing along to it (while repetitively flex-bouncing my specs, of course). Haha, I admit...I think that song is awesome. That Tiny Tim dude is a trip.

[Rausch]

That's what my wife says. I don't know though...under pressure, I could go full Matty Melt.

Let's quit pretending it's your amigos who're all goober brained and unable to make a decision...

[SAUTO]

I would have been prancing around and singing along to it (while repetitively flex-bouncing my specs, of course). Haha, I admit...I think that song is awesome. That Tiny Tim dude is a trip.

Yeah it was fucking great. And like I said he won so that made it even better
Posted via Mobile Device

[rico]

Yeah it was ****ing great. And like I said he won so that made it even better
Posted via Mobile Device

Hell yeah, that is walking to the beat of your own drum and being successful doing so at...it's finest.

[rico]

Let's quit pretending it's your amigos who're all goober brained and unable to make a decision...

Elaborate ... Sometimes I don't get some of y'all's jokes.

Oh wait, I get it. No pretending...dude couldn't make a decision. He was a goober-brain.