Round 1, Heat 7: Miss Chiefsplanet USA Tournament.

[Rain Man]

We have a battle of sparsely populated cold states. Which two will survive the brutal northern winter and our voting?

Miss North Dakota http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/ArXTYKP4zHUOZGlKugmj_A--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0457-jpg_224927.jpg
Miss Idaho http://l1.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/rZ8ITmY8bm9GYhqBHs_HRA--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0435-jpg_224909.jpg
Miss South Dakota http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/R3Er2eAA3FQZj.dUFKsG.w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0464-jpg_224933.jpg

[loochy]

Idaho - Youdaho

[mcaj22]

god damn this ones tough

[The Franchise]

Considering I'm from the Dakotas......I have to go with North and South....but fuck if Idaho isn't hot.

[Rain Man]

I went with South Dakota #1 - you have to like a cruel redhead dominatrix. For the #2 spot, I was really torn. They're both semi-generic pretty women. I like more narrow face shapes, though, so I went with North Dakota despite liking Idaho's abs.

[DJ's left nut]

Miss South Dakota has a dick.

That is all.

[Frosty]

North Dakota is yummy

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1790.jpg

I wanted to like Idaho more because it's one of my favorite states but "meh"

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1645.jpg

South Dakota is gristle-y

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1849.jpg

[Rain Man]

Miss South Dakota has a dick.

That is all.


No, no. That's artificial and she only uses it on the other contestants that she ties up over sawhorses backstage. She's a barrel of fun.

We can't eliminate the only redhead in the opening round, people. And you can't tell me that she's not the most exciting and imaginative of the bunch when frolicking naked.

[Frosty]

Actually, Idaho is pretty cute. She just doesn't have much of a figure

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1646.jpg

[Rain Man]

Actually, Idaho is pretty cute. She just doesn't have much of a figure


She has bigger thighs than I do, and I run up mountains. She's clearly the #3 choice based on these followup photos.

[Phobia]

I wish I would have waited to vote. The followup pics show a ultra-shape South Dakota while I eliminated her from above because she looked too skinny. Now I see that she's a fitness model. That's hot.

[Frosty]

She has bigger thighs than I do, and I run up mountains. She's clearly the #3 choice based on these followup photos.

She looks like she works hard on the ranch - very muscular. If she had bigger boobs and a little rounder butt, she would be number 1 in my book in this heat.

[Omaha]

The other two are quite blah next to South Dakota. Holy shit, she's hot.

[Omaha]

OK, what's with you idiots not voting for the hottest one? Seriously?

[Old Dog]

Dakota x2

[Rain Man]

The other two are quite blah next to South Dakota. Holy shit, she's hot.

Yes. As I mentioned in my review, the other two are pretty, but generic. South Dakota has a unique look and character, which greatly enhances her in my eyes.

[seclark]

nd, Idaho
sec

[DJ's left nut]

The other two are quite blah next to South Dakota. Holy shit, she's hot.

I really do wonder about you sometimes.

It's not even the weight thing, because I often agree with you there. But you go for the most hard-edges, mannish facial features I've ever seen.

That girl has a man's face - period. Just like that he-beast you liked from New Hampshire.

Now that's not to say I think you're gay or anything...just that I don't think you'd be terribly particular either way if the lighting was bad enough.

[ModSocks]

The North.

Look at that hourglass shape on her.

Then try to find the hips on South Dakota.

Oh that's right, she doesn't have any.

[Omaha]

I really do wonder about you sometimes.

It's not even the weight thing, because I often agree with you there. But you go for the most hard-edges, mannish facial features I've ever seen.

That girl has a man's face - period. Just like that he-beast you liked from New Hampshire.

Now that's not to say I think you're gay or anything...just that I don't think you'd be terribly particular either way if the lighting was bad enough.

I don't see it. I don't think she's mannish at all. I think she's gorgeous. I'll have to go look at NH again. I don't remember her off the top of my head.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/R3Er2eAA3FQZj.dUFKsG.w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0464-jpg_224933.jpg

[Ebolapox]

MISS SOUTH DAKOTA IS A MAN, BABY!

[AndChiefs]

I don't see it. I don't think she's mannish at all.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/R3Er2eAA3FQZj.dUFKsG.w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0464-jpg_224933.jpg

She looked a lot better in the later pic I saw in here. First thought when I saw her in the glamour shot? Mannish.

[Frosty]

Another South Dakota pic

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1851.jpg

[DJ's left nut]

The North.

Look at that hourglass shape on her.

Then try to find the hips on South Dakota.

Oh that's right, she doesn't have any.

No doubt. She looks even worse in the runway shot.

Is she related to Elie Wiesel, by chance?

[ModSocks]

I don't see it. I don't think she's mannish at all.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/R3Er2eAA3FQZj.dUFKsG.w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0464-jpg_224933.jpg

Dude, she no curves. No tits and no hips. You could probably shave some skinny gay guy and they'd rock the same body.

[Frosty]

And another. I like thin, athletic women, too, but she is just too angular for my taste

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1853.jpg

[Rain Man]

I don't see it. I don't think she's mannish at all. I think she's gorgeous. I'll have to go look at NH again. I don't remember her off the top of my head.


Miss NH was attractive too, in the same type of sexually assertive way. I like a woman with some moxie.

[ModSocks]

I don't see it. I don't think she's mannish at all. I think she's gorgeous. I'll have to go look at NH again. I don't remember her off the top of my head.

http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/R3Er2eAA3FQZj.dUFKsG.w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7Zmk9aW5zZXQ7aD03MjA7cT04NTt3PTQ4MA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/423/2013/06/11/USA2013-0464-jpg_224933.jpg

Look at that ass. It's non existent. If it's small in a 3/4 profile, it's gonna be all bone when bent over on all 4's.

[Omaha]

And another. I like thin, athletic women, too, but she is just too angular for my taste

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1853.jpg

Her legs look really weird in this one, but she's still my favorite in this heat.

[Omaha]

Is Miley Cyrus from ND?

[DJ's left nut]

Miss NH was attractive too, in the same type of sexually assertive way. I like a woman with some moxie.

{must. not. make. joke. that ends. in 'cocksey'...}

[Frosty]

Idaho has kind of a Hayden Panettiere thing going on with that squat, muscular body.

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1644.jpg

[ModSocks]

Idaho has kind of a Hayden Panettiere thing going on with that squat, muscular body.

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1644.jpg

If you're gonna be squatty you gotta have booty.

Denied.

[BlackHelicopters]

Miss North Dakota looks like a lot of fun. In a sweaty, sticky sort of way.

[Rain Man]

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

North Dakota. You buy her three umbrella drinks and she prattles about fashion for an hour and then leaves with her girlfriends.

Idaho. You buy her a Long Island Ice Tea and go out to the car and she makes out with you for a while but before you can get to second base she says she has to leave to get back to the ranch.

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

[ModSocks]

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

North Dakota. You buy her three umbrella drinks and she prattles about fashion for an hour and then leaves with her girlfriends.

Idaho. You buy her a Long Island Ice Tea and go out to the car and she makes out with you for a while but before you can get to second base she says she has to leave to get back to the ranch.

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

Your scenario sucks.

In my scenario, I get all 3 drunk and take all of them back to the hotel.

[Rain Man]

Your scenario sucks.

In my scenario, I get all 3 drunk and take all of them back to the hotel.

So does Miss South Dakota. That's why she wins. If you're handcuffed to the bed of the Motel 6, there's a good chance that North Dakota and Idaho are handcuffed to the next bed.

[BlackHelicopters]

The real question is: Would Miss North Dakota pee on you if you asked nicely?

[loochy]

You're in a bar and the three contestants approach you. Here's what happens.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VLnWf1sQkjY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>



FYP

[Rain Man]

FYP

In the real world, yeah. The whole scenario is more theoretical than dark matter and black holes.

[DJ's left nut]

South Dakota. You buy her three shots of whiskey straight and end the night handcuffed to the bed of a Motel 6 begging her to either stop or give you one more Viagra.

And you end up walking like a cowboy and having loose stools for the next week.

[ThaVirus]

North Dakota wins the face department.

Idaho wins the body department ( dem thighs!!! ).

South Dakota wins the not attractive department.

[Fish]

I vote that we decapitate Miss North Dakota, and sew her head onto Miss South Dakota's body...

[DJ's left nut]

I vote that we decapitate Miss North Dakota, and sew her head onto Miss South Dakota's body...

What in the blue !@#$ is more attractive about South's body than Norths?

North is long, toned and actually feminine. South loses all the feminine in favor of being sinewy.

North has a great body.

[Fish]

What in the blue !@#$ is more attractive about South's body than Norths?

North is long, toned and actually feminine. South loses all the feminine in favor of being sinewy.

North has a great body.

North has weird boxy hips and a belly button that looks like a meteorite impact crater.

[Just Passin' By]

North Dakota is the only one that deserves any votes at all, and she's no great shakes.

[Omaha]

I vote that we decapitate Miss North Dakota, and sew her head onto Miss South Dakota's body...

Is that even legal?

[Rain Man]

Is that even legal?

Only in the Dakotas.

[Omaha]

Only in the Dakotas.

Oh yeah. I forgot.

[Predarat]

Idaho has kind of a Hayden Panettiere thing going on with that squat, muscular body.

http://cdn.abclocal.go.com/images/otrc/2010/photos/USA2013_1644.jpg

sold

[luv]

North Dakota looks like Miley Cyrus before she went with the dyke look.

[Omaha]

North Dakota looks like Miley Cyrus before she went with the dyke look.

Q

[patteeu]

nd, Idaho
sec

+1

[Rain Man]

Okay, we'll shut this one down. North Dakota and Idaho move on.

One redhead in the entire contest, and the voters kick her out in the opening round. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

As of now, she still has a chance to sneak back in on a wild card due to her strong third place finish. She's hanging by a thread, though.

[Garcia Bronco]

Okay, we'll shut this one down. North Dakota and Idaho move on.

One redhead in the entire contest, and the voters kick her out in the opening round. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

As of now, she still has a chance to sneak back in on a wild card due to her strong third place finish. She's hanging by a thread, though.

It's the heat.