Paralyzed Man Wakes to Find His Dog Bit Off His Testicle

[Skyy God]

http://i41.tinypic.com/21n0fbl.jpg

Fluffy white dogs are a menace & should be eradicated (or, if you're feeling humane, universally sterilized). Finally my innate prejudice against them is justified.

An Arkansas man paralyzed from the waist down told police he awoke Monday morning to a "burning pain," only to find his dog chewing on a ball. His ball, that is.

According to the official police report, the 39-year-old Trumann resident regularly sleeps in the raw, and was fully nude when he woke up yesterday around 7:45 AM to discover his dog "had eaten one of his testicles."

The unidentified owner had rescued the "small, white, fluffy" stray just three weeks ago, and had yet to take it in for a checkup.

Sadly, the dog's first visit to a vet was to be euthanized.

The Arkansas Department of Health will test the dog's remains for rabies.

Meanwhile, adding insult to injury, the man was transported to St. Bernards Regional Medical Center to be treated.

http://gawker.com/paralyzed-man-wakes-to-find-his-dog-bit-off-his-testicl-963044875

[The Franchise]

If he's paralyzed from the waist down....how did he feel a burning pain?

[Imon Yourside]

He's got 1 ball and 2 strikes.

[Chief_For_Life58]

that dog is a ball full of joy

[Chief_For_Life58]

the dog is just returning the favor

[loochy]

That dog is having a ball

[Skyy God]

The man's lucky he/she didn't prefer bones.

[loochy]

That dog is nuts

[loochy]

The man couldn't feel much besides a slight testticle

[loochy]

This is not what he had in mind when he decided to hit the sack

[Donger]

Obviously the dog was just playing fetch.

[gblowfish]

We need to turn this dog loose on that convicted dog fucker in Florida....

[frankotank]

that's a bitch!

[KCUnited]

I bet that wheelchair keeps his Armstrong.

[Phobia]

Dog probably chewed off a cancer-filled jewel. Saved the man's life only to get put down. Sad injustice.

[Rain Man]

If he's paralyzed from the waist down....how did he feel a burning pain?

That part had me curious, too.

[Frazod]

Why did I click on this thread. WHYWHYWHY :banghead:

[Predarat]

Antifreeze for the dog.

[Donger]

Why did I click on this thread. WHYWHYWHY :banghead:

You're not having a ball?

[Graystoke]

Don't cook bacon and then scratch your balls.

[DJJasonp]

Said the man from his hospital bed:

I now regret my previous decision to spray paint my testes green so they resembled tennis balls.

[Gonzo]

I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?

[Phobia]

When asked how the testicle tasted, the dog responded, "ruff!"

[Easy 6]

Had it put down, thats sad, i'm sure he loved the little squirt.

No more Gravy Train for that pooch.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Raw doggin' it.

[ChiTown]

I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?

LMAO

[Dayze]

his new nickname could be "Wrecking Ball"

[Rasputin]

Who knew the Zombie Apocalypse would be started by a "small, white, fluffy" dog in Arkansas and not Florida?

[Rasputin]

He got Bob Barkered by his own dog.

[Rain Man]

Obviously the dog was just playing fetch.

You can't spend all day yelling, "Get the ball, boy! Get the ball!" and not expect a little confusion come nightfall.

[seclark]

that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec

[BlackHelicopters]

Ban testicles!

[Fish]

that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec

LMAO

"Yes, I'm serious. He ate my testicle!"

[BlackHelicopters]

that would be an interesting 911 call.
sec

". No, no, just the one"

[Tombstone RJ]

that's what you get for sleeping naked with a dog.

[ChiTown]

LMAO

"Yes, I'm serious. He ate my testicle!"

"No. No, Man. Shit no, Man! I believe you could get your ass kicked for saying something like that, Man!"

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRhJ_BskH8S_5H57UtdflXhRgoxi1ZPNKaOvksg8PiX_lbCVleSHA

[Bwana]

I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?

Nice LMAO

I wonder if his name was Johnny?

[J Diddy]

that's what you get for sleeping naked with a dog.

If I was an asshole, I would say that it sounds like your wife gnawed one of your nuts off and you speak from experience.

However, I am not, so I won't.

[Earthling]

The good news is that the guy worries much less about nut hooks...

[Tombstone RJ]

If I was an asshole, I would say that it sounds like your wife gnawed one of your nuts off and you speak from experience.

However, I am not, so I won't.

don't kid yourself, you are a tremendous asshole.

[Eleazar]

St. Bernard Medical Center ROFL

[beach tribe]

I wonder if he's off to the rodeo?

First he's gotta get his right step right.

[MMXcalibur]

Lance Armstrong Jr.

[J Diddy]

don't kid yourself, you are a tremendous asshole.

Tremendous?

That's giving me a heck of a lot of credit.

However, in light of this, I rescind my previous statement of not saying it and, in fact, I now do say it. The whole thing.

[The Iron Chief]

That guy has a lot of balls to share that story...sec

How the F@ck did this story not happen in Florida??

[CrazyPhuD]

That guy has a lot of balls to share that story...sec

How the F@ck did this story not happen in Florida??

Those in FL only suck on balls they don't swallow them!

[Ace Gunner]

Lorena Bobbitt trained this dog well

[J Diddy]

Lorena Bobbitt trained this dog well

The man with tin balls rubs it in.

The odd thing is if the guy is paralyzed from the waste down how did he feel the pain?

Seems the dog cured his paralysis.

[Hammock Parties]

That's what happens when you put too much peanut butter on it.

[CrazyPhuD]

Because this needs to be here.....

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I wonder if the vet named the dog almond joy before he put him down....

[big nasty kcnut]

His ball got polished off.
Posted via Mobile Device

[J Diddy]

Fucking story is nuts.

[Setsuna]

Is the guy black?

[CrazyPhuD]

Is the guy black?

clearly not or the dog would have choked to death trying to swallow it.

[Setsuna]

clearly not or the dog would have choked to death trying to swallow it.

LMAOLMAOROFLROFL:LOL: Nice.

Alas the dog going "coo coo for cocoa nuts" won't ever be used. I am disappoint :(

[DaneMcCloud]

Sounds like that dog had a ball

[CrazyPhuD]

Why you don't pass out watching stand by me with your new dog....

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