Late night bullshit: The last fight you had with your significant other.

[Direckshun]

Let's hear 'em.

I've got double-barrel positive rep guns available for well detailed stories, and I will find a way to rep you twice if you were the one in the wrong.

C'mon, folks. We're in relationships, and they're wonderful. They can also suck so much ass in the middle of the 50th ****ing fight about who's car we're taking across town.

There is no judgment in this thread. Only love for how stupid our relationships can sometimes be.

Let's get real for a fucking change.

[RealSNR]

I don't know. It was some shit about how she caught me telling stories about her on Chiefs Planet.

You know women, though. Blah blah respect my privacy blah blah blah

[Deberg_1990]

I don't get personal on CP. strictly business.

[GESteve]

Well, My girlfriend and I went drinking the other night got home and decided to have sex on the roof. So I went to get the ladder out of the Shed, by the time I Got back she was buck necked and had my 2 million candle power spot light out and yelling at the top of her lungs. So I went in the house and grabbed my best comforter climbed up got necked and started yelling as well and flashing the light into my neighbors house, so we get busy and for some reason the police show up I blame it on her being drunk and she slapped the shit out of me in front of the police and they took her to jail......Still fighting

[J Diddy]

It was my girlfriend. It was 3 minutes ago when she answered the phone with an attitude.

Bitches be crazy.

[luv]

I had a knock down drag out with myself last week.

[hometeam]

Well, My girlfriend and I went drinking the other night got home and decided to have sex on the roof. So I went to get the ladder out of the Shed, by the time I Got back she was buck necked and had my 2 million candle power spot light out and yelling at the top of her lungs. So I went in the house and grabbed my best comforter climbed up got necked and started yelling as well and flashing the light into my neighbors house, so we get busy and for some reason the police show up I blame it on her being drunk and she slapped the shit out of me in front of the police and they took her to jail......Still fighting

http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/sports/2013-03-24/7f9025c8-40b9-4334-8d37-951920b5b847_fgcu5.gif

[Deberg_1990]

I had a knock down drag out with myself last week.

ONEsomes are so hot

[Bugeater]

It's probably been over a decade since my last screaming match with the Mrs, we're kinda boring like that. I mean we irk each other once in a while but we really don't fight.

[Hammock Parties]

The last time a girl got all indignant on me, I just hung up on her.

She kept calling, I kept ignoring.

http://i.imgur.com/man1VSu.jpg

[tk13]

I had a knock down drag out with myself last week.

We need a .gif of Jim Carrey beating himself up in Liar Liar.

[vailpass]

It was over child support. She was asking too much.

[MotherfuckerJones]

It was over child support. She was asking too much.

Bronco fan....shocking :)

[vailpass]

Bronco fan....shocking :)

You wanna pay 4 grand a month to your ex? :)

[MotherfuckerJones]

You wanna pay 4 grand a month to your ex? :)

You stuck your dick in not me

[vailpass]

You stuck your dick in not me

No worries, I got it covered. Had to lawyer the Fuck up. My boys get everything from me but I want to buy it myself. Just got them all new quads.

[Bugeater]

No worries, I got it covered. Had to lawyer the Fuck up. My boys get everything from me but I want to buy it myself. Just got them all new quads.
Will you adopt me?

[Sfeihc]

You stuck your dick in not me

You still taking Joey to the Jags game? Enjoy Avi, the game and the family time you miserable wretch. :p

[vailpass]

Will you adopt me?

Did I get to pound nice pussy to have you? :)

[Bugeater]

Did I get to pound nice pussy to have you? :)Oh hell yes dude, I had the hottest mom ever.

[vailpass]

Oh hell yes dude, I had the hottest mom ever.

You're in. Need you to skim the pool and run the irrigation. After you do your homework.

[Al Bundy]

2001, then I left the bitch for good.

[Bugeater]

You're in. Need you to skim the pool and run the irrigation. After you do your homework.
Ah fuck, nevermind. My mom wasn't really that hot.

[HoneyBadger]

Bitch tried to kiss me after she swallowed.

No thanks. I'll just get to sleep. Go watch Sex in the City.

[vailpass]

Ah ****, nevermind. My mom wasn't really that hot.

:)

[The Franchise]

Had a fight this morning. She was yelling at me because she couldn't find some medical paperwork she had put on the table. She was cussing me out and saying that I moved it. I vehemently denied it because I had no clue what she was talking about. She got all pissed and stormed out. She texted me 5 minutes later telling me that maybe I hadn't moved it. I asked if she found it in her car and she said yes. I told her that was a shitty apology. She never texted back. LMAO

[KcMizzou]

Had a fight this morning. She was yelling at me because she couldn't find some medical paperwork she had put on the table. She was cussing me out and saying that I moved it. I vehemently denied it because I had no clue what she was talking about. She got all pissed and stormed out. She texted me 5 minutes later telling me that maybe I hadn't moved it. I asked if she found it in her car and she said yes. I told her that was a shitty apology. She never texted back. LMAOWomen

[ThaVirus]

Will you adopt me?

LMAO

[lewdog]

Mine got upset because she was filling up her water bottle last night with our Brita filter and I knew she wasn't going to fill it up afterwards because she always leaves it empty. So as she's pouring I say, "fill that up when you're done, I'd like some cold water tomorrow." She then lays into me because I told her before I even gave her a chance to fill it up and tells me how I'm "always" directing how things work in the house. Mind you, every afternoon I come home the thing is near bone dry and when I go workout I need at least a liter in there.

Yea, sue me. I like cold water since I drink over a gallon a day and there ain't no fucking cold tap water here in Phoenix.

Fill it up, bitch!

[Al Bundy]

Had a fight this morning. She was yelling at me because she couldn't find some medical paperwork she had put on the table. She was cussing me out and saying that I moved it. I vehemently denied it because I had no clue what she was talking about. She got all pissed and stormed out. She texted me 5 minutes later telling me that maybe I hadn't moved it. I asked if she found it in her car and she said yes. I told her that was a shitty apology. She never texted back. LMAO

Jesus... that's the kinda shit that made me send my ex packing.

[vailpass]

Mine got upset because she was filling up her water bottle last night with our Brita filter and I knew she wasn't going to fill it up afterwards because she always leaves it empty. So as she's pouring I say, "fill that up when you're done, I'd like some cold water tomorrow." She then lays into me because I told her before I even gave her a chance to fill it up and tells me how I'm "always" directing how things work in the house. Mind you, every afternoon I come home the thing is near bone dry and when I go workout I need at least a liter in there.

Yea, sue me. I like cold water since I drink over a gallon a day and there ain't no ****ing cold tap water here in Phoenix.

Fill it up, bitch!

This time of year it's hard to get cold tap water for sure. I use my fridge tap.

[TambaBerry]

The last time we got in a fight it was over the fact that she takes these little tiny cups of sauces to work for her lunch and she gets home and she throws them in the fucking sink without rinsing them out. These things sit in there for a few hours and it gets stuck on like concrete. I bitch about it to her and she flips shit on me like its my fault. I was like all im asking is for you to rinse the god damn thing out. Why can't women do simple tasks like this, turning lights off, shutting doors to the outside, etc.

[lewdog]

This time of year it's hard to get cold tap water for sure. I use my fridge tap.

I'm too poor to have a fridge tap.

[Consistent1]

No worries, I got it covered. Had to lawyer the **** up. My boys get everything from me but I want to buy it myself. Just got them all new quads.

I can completely understand that. Don't have kids myself, but I know women use that money on themselves way to much.

[KcMizzou]

I'm too poor to have a fridge tap.I'm old school.

Ice cubes, motherfucker.

[vailpass]

I can completely understand that. Don't have kids myself, but I know women use that money on themselves way to much.

Thanks, you hit it on the head. I'll take care of them all including her but I'll do it my way.

[vailpass]

I'm too poor to have a fridge tap.

You will on your next fridge. Standard issue now.

[vailpass]

I'm old school.

Ice cubes, mother****er.

Phoenix is a whole different animal. I freeze water bottles to take on bike rides.

[lewdog]

You will on your next fridge. Standard issue now.

How long until you think those fridges hit the Goodwill floor?

[Setsuna]

Does not compute.

[vailpass]

How long until you think those fridges hit the Goodwill floor?

Now I bet. Or at least Craig's list.

[alanm]

I'm old school.

Ice cubes, mother****er.Smart man

[ghak99]

I'm pretty sure I shared the story in a "getting caught" thread a few months ago.

I had to buy her a new ceiling fan. LMAO... and we're no longer together.

[MotherfuckerJones]

You still taking Joey to the Jags game? Enjoy Avi, the game and the family time you miserable wretch. :p

Enjoy your post season choke LMAO

[ThaVirus]

I'm pretty sure I shared the story in a "getting caught" thread a few months ago.

I had to buy her a new ceiling fan. LMAO... and we're no longer together.

Im intrigued. Tell that story again..

[The Franchise]

Jesus... that's the kinda shit that made me send my ex packing.

Don't get me started....I'll be here all night.

[Buehler445]

You're in. Need you to skim the pool and run the irrigation. After you do your homework.

ROFL

You call a sprinkler system irrigation?

[scorpio]

The last time we got in a fight it was over the fact that she takes these little tiny cups of sauces to work for her lunch and she gets home and she throws them in the ****ing sink without rinsing them out. These things sit in there for a few hours and it gets stuck on like concrete. I bitch about it to her and she flips shit on me like its my fault. I was like all im asking is for you to rinse the god damn thing out. Why can't women do simple tasks like this, turning lights off, shutting doors to the outside, etc.

I'm with you man. How hard is it to rinse a fucking dish?

[vailpass]

ROFL

You call a sprinkler system irrigation?

My property was an citrus field, we have ramped burms and full irrigation. The yards flood 2 feet high. What's funny?

[ghak99]

Good lord, the post was a drunken tl;dr. :facepalm:


.....

I had been basically staying with a girl who worked nights. It was too long of a drive to take this bar whore back to my place so I figured wtf, I'll take her to the girlfriend's place while she's at work. HORRIBLE fucking idea! It was hot and her face was a 2 so I had turned the ceiling fan on and lights off. Keep in mind this is one of those fans that go so fast you think they're going to fly off the ceiling and kill you. I wasn't watching the clock and unknown to me the girlfriend had came home for lunch. The bar whore was making some noise during some reverse cowgirl when the girlfriend comes busting through the door and attempts to jump up on the bed yelling. All I heard was her yelling and screaming come to a dead stop during a huge "thud thud thud" and her crash to the floor. She didn't just hit the ceiling fan, she had stuck her whole fucking head in it and broke one of the wooden blades off. She was knocked out cold on the floor and blood was starting to run out of her forehead. As I try to stop the bleeding with a boner the drunken bar whore slurs out "is she dead?". Sitting in a waiting room of an emergency room with a furious and bleeding girlfriend you just got caught cheating on is not fun. To make it even better, while we were waiting for her forehead to numb the mother fucking Dr. asked why she jumped on the bed with the fan on. :doh!:

.....

[Buehler445]

My property was an citrus field, we have ramped burms and full irrigation. The yards flood 2 feet high. What's funny?

Well that's far more serious than a sprinkler system.

What are you watering?

[vailpass]

Well that's far more serious than a sprinkler system.

What are you watering?

Grass, believe it or not. And orange, lemon and lime trees. This is a harsh country with no rain. Got to water it. Most have rocks for yards. I grew up in the Midwest and won't have that.

[Buehler445]

Grass, believe it or not. And orange, lemon and lime trees. This is a harsh country with no rain. Got to water it. Most have rocks for yards. I grew up in the Midwest and won't have that.

I know about dry country. I'm there. Unfortunately I can't water all mine.

Is flood your only option? It's wildly inefficient. I can't even imagine how much evaporation loss you have.

[vailpass]

I know about dry country. I'm there. Unfortunately I can't water all mine.

Is flood your only option? It's wildly inefficient. I can't even imagine how much evaporation loss you have.

I have sprinklers but the weather here requires a flood twice a month for the fruit to thrive. Strange, I know. It happens at night, usually 1 in the morning to avoid evap loss. When I first moved here it freaked me out. The cactus don't care but the trees do. Different in the winter, only once a month.

[Buehler445]

I have sprinklers but the weather here requires a flood twice a month for the fruit to thrive. Strange, I know. When I first moved here it freaked me out. The cactus don't care but the trees do.

Cool man. That's interesting. I'm a junkie for growing shit and resource utilization. I wish I could pump that kind of water per acre. I'd grow corn like nobody's business.

I'll shut off the ag nerd for awhile.

[vailpass]

Cool man. That's interesting. I'm a junkie for growing shit and resource utilization. I wish I could pump that kind of water per acre. I'd grow corn like nobody's business.

I'll shut off the ag nerd for awhile.

The city assigns the times, costs me around$90 a month. I have 3/4 acre of property. Strange to have to pay for what nature can give but it's neat to have your own citrus. I'm sure you have much more land. nothing but respect for ag people, grew up with them.

[Dayze]

Well, My girlfriend and I went drinking the other night got home and decided to have sex on the roof. So I went to get the ladder out of the Shed, by the time I Got back she was buck necked and had my 2 million candle power spot light out and yelling at the top of her lungs. So I went in the house and grabbed my best comforter climbed up got necked and started yelling as well and flashing the light into my neighbors house, so we get busy and for some reason the police show up I blame it on her being drunk and she slapped the shit out of me in front of the police and they took her to jail......Still fighting

Welp. We can pretty much close the thread now.

[Wallcrawler]

Im a pretty big gamer. I always have been for the entire time my wife has known me, before we were ever dating.

Well, as marriage goes and the kids come along, the opportunity to buy games becomes very few and far between. I usually research the hell out of the game Im going to buy, and make sure it has a ton of content so that I can have this thing to occupy me for several months.

Well this is about the time that Skyrim was being released, 11/11/11 was its release date. My daughter's birthday is on 11/13, so I knew I had to have her taken care of first before Skyrim was even coming into the picture. Sp for the entire month of October, I ratholed money away each week, like 10 bucks or so. Nothing big, you know?

We get our daughter's presents taken care of far beforehand, and Im thinking Im good to go for Skyrim. I should only need 20 bucks or so on the day it comes out.

Well we get into a jam because the wife doesn't realize that E means empty on the gas tank. She runs out of gas, and had used the last of our money that week trying to get ahead of other bills. So naturally, the only money available is my Skyrim stash, which I don't hesitate for a second to use to get the car running again.

She asks where the money came from and I explain, and it becomes this huge ordeal about how irresponsible I am that I would hide money for a stupid videogame. At this point Im thinking it may have been better to leave her stranded.

So anyway, the time rolls around and Skyrim is released, and Im wanting to get my money I had put back for this game back so that I can go get it. This sparks the whole argument over again about bills and responsibility and all this other shit.

So I relent. I just want her to shut up at this point, so I say fine, I can wait.

THAT VERY F***ING NIGHT.

She walks in with my sister in law's three kids, my three kids, and her mother, and they are all carrying McDonald's bags. I raise an eyebrow at all this crap being brought in, and I begin thinking to myself "where did all this shit come from?"

You guessed it. My wife took my money for my game and used it on a trip to McDonalds for her mother, and her sister's kids, while getting herself and my kids' dinner there as well "because she didn't feel up to cooking."

Sweet Jesus, I thought I would have an aneurism right there. I calmly got up, looked her dead in the face, and demanded the checkbook. From the look of sheer fury on my face, Im guessing she knew not to open her mouth. I went down to GS for the midnight release, and I bought my goddamn game.

There were some heated words later, after the kids were all back where they belonged and mine were in bed, I don't remember them all but I do remember telling her she better never, ever, try to lecture me on being irresponsible with money after turning around and spending fifty bucks at goddamn Mcdonalds.

[GordonGekko]

Welp. We can pretty much close the thread now.

Tarantino couldn't make this shit up.

[Mav]

Welllll,

Our fights usually start about my wife complaining about something for the 37th time. And in some form or fashion revolves around money.

Our last fight started out with her the week before her period getting pissed and moody because she had applied for a promotion at her work, and hadn't gotten a response. After 4 days of listening to that, I had enough. So I started boiling over and told her to stop crying all the damn time about things she cant control, and uh, well, I shouldn't of done that. because then shit that I didn't even know she was mad about started coming out.

So that was an all night bitch fest. my wife and I are very good about putting aside our differences when we are with our son who will be two next Saturday, but damn, we must of bitched at each other about the house not being clean enough, we have a couple cats, and they get hair everywhere, to how my wife feels she never gets enough alone time.

I slept on the couch for three nights because of how pissed we were at each other.

[el borracho]

I had a knock down drag out with myself last week.

Knock down some Jack Daniels and drag out the vibrator?

[Discuss Thrower]

Dumped her for calling me the worst bf she ever had for not spending time with her and choosing to spend it with my friends. This was after she told me her last one didn't mind laying hands on her.

I would do it all again too.

[NewChief]

Welllll,

Our fights usually start about my wife complaining about something for the 37th time. And in some form or fashion revolves around money.



This sounds familiar. We also get into it whenever she passive aggressively complains about shit over and over without getting off her own ass to fix the situation.

"Our kids can't tie their shoes still and other kids can!"

Great, why don't you sit your ass down and work on tying their shoes with them instead of complaining about it.

"Our yard looks like shit."

Great, get your ass out in the year and weed the garden.

"Our bills are late."

Great, pay them.

I get really annoyed with that bullshit. If she'd just say, "Hey dear. Can you work on tying the kids shoes with them?" That would be one thing. But just complaining about it in hopes that I'm going to sweep in and rectify the situation in response to a negative statement annoys the living **** out of me.

Then if she's really PMS'ing or stressed and it turns into a laundry list of every point of stress in her life at that particular point, I usually explode, because I can't deal with that kind of stress either and am usually trying to address one thing while she's pointing out 50 others (and not doing anything about them, whereas I'm trying to at least deal with the one thing).

[J Diddy]

It was over child support. She was asking too much.

As a guy who pays and as a guy who's supposed to get paid I can say they all ask too much.

Difference is if you have a pussy they'll enforce it, no matter how astronomical. However, if you're a guy they don't do shit, no mattter how miniscule.


Seriously, what I pay is support money. It is large enough to be considered as such and if I'm a minute late dem mofos are calling me.

What my ex pays for my son isn't shit and is what I consider principle money. They give her no grief over nonpayment (because she doesn't)

[Stanley Nickels]

http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-Bill-Cosby-women-quote.jpg

[KCUnited]

I hate taking my wife with me to shows. She's a real good sport about the music I'm into, but she honestly doesn't care for it, which is totally fine. However, it's hard on a Saturday night to be like "honey, I'm going down to [insert name of bar] to see [insert name of metal/hardcore/punk band]" and not invite her, especially if I'm going by myself.

So I take her and her girlfriend to a show the other night and she's sitting at the bar with her friend and I'm down at the stage getting ill, networking with bands and other dudes around the scene and I'm getting the "where are you?" texts. Man, I lost it and we fought the whole way home. Super lame.

[ThaVirus]

About "liking" and commenting on my female friends pics on Facebook and Instagram..

I'm not joking.

[Buehler445]

You know, I don't really remember the last time we had a fight. Surely it can't have been that long ago.

I imagine some are coming with the first kid on the way.

[Mav]

You know, I don't really remember the last time we had a fight. Surely it can't have been that long ago.

I imagine some are coming with the first kid on the way.

ROFL Fighting will be one of many issues.

Lack of sleep, first time parents, waking up in the middle of the night fights about whose turn it is.

Ahhhhh, the days I DONT miss.

Best of luck Buehler.

[NewChief]

About "liking" and commenting on my female friends pics on Facebook and Instagram..

I'm not joking.

Oh god. So glad that my wife isn't jealous like that. She's got lots of other issues, but that isn't one of them.

[Mav]

About "liking" and commenting on my female friends pics on Facebook and Instagram..

I'm not joking.

:D Those are the best. My best friend is a girl. We used to fight about this all the time.

[The Franchise]

About "liking" and commenting on my female friends pics on Facebook and Instagram..

I'm not joking.

I get that as well.

WHO IS THAT BITCH!?

[Mav]

I get that as well.

WHO IS THAT BITCH!?

Ugh, id be okay with that. Ours is usually a more passive aggressive thing.

"um honey, (at this point I know im going to hate the direction of this conversation) so I was looking at your facebook page, who is (insert name)? I noticed your commented/liked her status."

[NewChief]

And when she does ask me questions like that (like if we're out at a bar), I usually say, "Oh. Just some girl who wants my D in her V." And she usually thinks that's pretty funny.

[Holladay]

Get their "blood machine" taken out. Has solved MANY arguments. Her words not mine.

[The Franchise]

Get their "blood machine" taken out. Has solved MANY arguments. Her words not mine.

Lies. I'm going through that shit right now.

[ThaVirus]

Oh, God. You guys don't even know.

She got on me a few months ago about "liking bitches pictures with their tits and ass all out". I was 100% sure that I hadn't liked any obviously-skanky pictures on Facebook anytime recently so I went to check. Thankfully Facebook keeps a record of all your activity so I went back like 3 months prior and looked at everything single thing I had liked, commented on or otherwise. Not one ****ing picture of a girl with her tits or ass out. So I snapshot every single screen from 3 months prior to that point and send them to her. Of course then she had nothing to say; I guess her memory is a little fuzzy.

Around the same time she brought that argument up, she also said the same thing about Instagram. At that point, I had legitimately been on Instagram for like 2 weeks so I went back and looked at all the pics on liked there, once again- NOT ONE ****ING PICTURE OF A CHICK WITH HER ASS OR TITS OUT. So I screenshot all those and send them to her and she's at a loss for words once more.

Basically , social media sites are relationship cock blockers.

EDIT: I should really say jealous girlfriends and social media don't mix. That works better.

[Buehler445]

ROFL Fighting will be one of many issues.

Lack of sleep, first time parents, waking up in the middle of the night fights about whose turn it is.

Ahhhhh, the days I DONT miss.

Best of luck Buehler.

We'll be fine. I outkicked my coverage. By a lot.

[SAUTO]

We have some good ones. Funny thing is I can't remember what were were about. Seemed so important at the time, but now I can just remember the fight.


Must not have been that important in the first place
Posted via Mobile Device

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Bitch destroyed my homemade bigboard!!!!

[Mav]

We have some good ones. Funny thing is I can't remember what were were about. Seemed so important at the time, but now I can just remember the fight.


Must not have been that important in the first place
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah lol. Most of ours except rare instances we cant even remember what it was, and if we do mostly we laugh at how stupid they were.

[SAUTO]

But the funny thing is even with knowing that its not going to stop the next one.
Posted via Mobile Device

[threebag]

Bitch destroyed my homemade bigboard!!!!

NO FUCKING WAY. Holy Shit